Chapter Text
Lernen is toiling away at his latest golem project in the school's unused (until recently) Artificer's Workshop
Unfortunately, as has (even more recently) become routine, his focus is disrupted by his dead-eyed, pointy-eared classmate busting in the door
B: eyo
L: good afternoon...
He does his best to ignore her and focus on his work
...
...
Yep, that's her breath on his neck again
L: (¬_¬)
B: (• _ • )
L: ... forgive me asking, but do you need something?
B: (• _ • ) ... ( ._. )- (╹ .╹)! OH- (• _ • ) actually yes but I forget what it is, so I'll just watch you till I remember
L: oh, uhm- very well. If you have any questions I'd be ha-
B: yeah why'd you make this one's butt so juicy?
It DOES have very juicy cheeks
Lernen, however, seems quite excited to answer this question
L: Oh! Well, I assume that you're aware of the fact that compared to other mammals, human gluteal muscles are disproportionately large, correct?
B: yeah HUGE fan of glutes
L: Well you see, I heard a theory recently that the reason for this comes from our hunter-gatherer roots; we may not have been the strongest or fastest creatures out there, but one advantage we had was stamina! We would allow our prey to outrun us, but just keep following them until they tired themselves out
He proudly places a hand on the shoulder of his work-in-progress
L: I am expounding upon that theory with this long-distance transport golem! What it lacks in speed, it makes up for in low mana consumption over distance
The half-elf girl squats and examines the construct's cheek (not on its face)
B: it's got some SERIOUS detail
L: well of course, I spent a GOOD amount of time and eff-
She pokes it
L: hEY-
B: why is it jiggly?
L: for maneuverability, obviousl-
She smacks it
B: (´･_･` ) whoa good recoi-
Lernen grabs her hand
L: ( ò_ó) BASTELN WHAT HAVE I TOL-
B: (• _ • ) idea. Make it firmer
...
He lets go
L: ... (• _ •) ... ( .𓂃.)ゞ hmm...
He gets down to her level and wags his finger
L: (≖ _ ≖ ) ... ( ´･_･`) actually, you might be onto something... it'd make the golem more aerodynamic, and-
B: and way sexier
...
...
...
B: hey aesthetics are important. I mean I admit I'm a bit biase-
L: nonono you have a point... it could be a morale-booster on the battlefield
B: exACTLY
L: AND it could confuse enemy soldiers long enough to get safely out of range!
B: like when soldiers would get nake-
L: naked during battle!!!
...
Lernen laughs
L: (´ ▽ ` )ゞ ohh great minds think alike, it seems
B: ദ്ദി(• _ • ) hell yeah
He smiles lightly. Despite Basteln's oddities, she IS the only one who can get his mind out of a rut sometimes
Or... perhaps it's BECAUSE of her oddi-
B: OH SHIT I JUST REMEMBERED-
She suddenly turns to her briefcase
L: AGH-
Her ear poked Lernen's eye in transit
B: I made some progress on MY thing
Once Lernen's vision returns, he sees the meticulously-constructed wrist-clock device in her hand. He takes it to the window and compares it to the school's clocktower
L: ... wow! Precise to the second! Good work!
The girl's ears wiggle with joy
B: ( ｡ ‿ ｡ ⸝⸝) ehehehhhehehhe thanksss-
The device bursts into flames
L: AUGH-
He manages to smother it before his uniform catches fire
B: (• ⤙• ) oh yea still working on that
L: ugh... well warn me next time
B: why?