Chapter Text
Haley is a mythic bitch.
People fear her, of course they do. She’s bitchy as hell and has a boyfriend who’s on the football team who’s just as arrogant as she is.
She grew up with loving and wealthy parents, and all the guys drool over her.
I wish she would spit in my mouth.
I don’t care if she’s mean, I would let her degrade me.
…Moving on,
Haley’s the typical blonde hair blue eyed popular girl who’s mean, and picks on everybody for just breathing.
How can she possibly be a homo?
That’s the thing, as much as she claimed to love her boyfriend, their relationship just felt off. Whenever they kissed, it just felt icky. Isn’t kissing supposed to make you feel good?
Whenever he kissed her, it just felt like he was slobbering all over her lips and ruining her lip gloss for no reason.
And sure, she watched the cheerleaders at football games with a little too much intent, but everybody does. People like to look at other girls, it’s no different when she does too.
Obviously.
***
"So, you're leaving for the playoffs?" Haley asked, looking up at Keith with a practiced smile.
"Oh, yeah. Don’t worry ‘bout it. You’re comin' with us, right? To.. y’know, take photos of us and such," Keith grinned sheepishly with an averted gaze. Not to be dramatic, but god, that grin made her skin crawl. What the hell was that?
Maybe it was just Keith, or something was going on here. But she doesn’t pay too much mind to it. It probably meant nothing anyway.
"Yeah. Obviously I’m coming, I think you know that," Haley says, radiating passive aggressive energy. Everyone knows she’s passive aggressive, she is a bitch after all.
".…Um, anyway, are you excited? I mean, it’s the playoffs," Haley continued, attempting to shake off the image of that pathetic grin and dismiss her tone earlier.
"Yeah," Keith scoffed slightly. What the hell was that? "Whatever."
The fuck? Is he okay?
The moment they got in the car, Keith was already all over her lips.
And no heterosexual who loves the person they’re kissing kisses with their eyes open.
But Haley is, but not because she’s gay! No, never! It’s just because all the guys she’s kissed kiss weirdly.
The kiss doesn’t go on for long, she never lets it go on for too long.
She pulled away gently with a forced smile, running a finger over her bottom lip.
"Hey.. c'mon.. You still got time, don't you?" Keith urges, his head askew giving that pleading look that girls go crazy over.
"I-I gotta get home for dinner.."
"Please..?"
"No! Gosh, you kiss so weirdly."
"Oh c’mon, sweetheart. You know you like it."
"Ughhh, just shut the fuck up already!"
She turns over to look at Keith, and of course. Of course he has that dumb ass look on his face. He thinks she’s flirting.
"Oh my god, fine!" she sighed, letting him shove his tongue down her throat again because saying no is futile in this scenario.
That’s pretty scary, actually…
***
The next morning, she kissed both her parents goodbye, Keith’s car waiting outside.
"See you later—tonight. See you tonight," Acastus nodded as he gave Haley a warm smile before waving her goodbye.
"Bye dad, bye mom!" Haley smiled, heading out the door and closing it behind her.
Acastus tossed his newspaper aside and quickly shot Penelope an anxious look. “So…are we ready?” Penelope asked, giving a long sigh.
“They’ll all be here at 3:00,” Acastus nodded as he pursed his lips. “Jesus, I hope we’re doing the right thing.”
***
As the bell rang, Haley strutted towards her locker to grab her stuff. At her locker stood Keith and Claire, talking.
Now, a normal straight girl would’ve probably been jealous, a little hurt maybe, which was a little cliche, but it’s already odd enough that Haley doesn’t see much wrong with it.
…Or maybe she’s just not insecure.
Still, total homo.
“Did you talk to her parents?” Claire spoke in a hushed voice, as if trying to hide something.
Haley was blissfully unaware of this.
"Shh, she's coming," Keith hushed.
“Hey guys,” Haley greeted with a smile, before leaning in to kiss Keith on the cheek. Only, he decided he wanted to kiss Haley instead of just saying hi back.
Now why the hell did he think it’s a good idea to make out with his girlfriend in the hallways? People have places to be!
Well, she liked it, for sure.
Oh, who was she kidding? She wasn’t fooling anybody. Nobody leaves their eyes open like a maniac when kissing a boy—when kissing anyone!
“I’ll meet you outside,” Keith said, pulling away and heading to class.
"Gross," Haley mutter to herself, running a finger along her bottom lip, something that she had been doing subconsciously every time she kissed him.
Turning around, she opens her locker to greet the scrumptious—woah, what? That’s not the right word… the beautiful photo of Pamela Anderson on her locker.
See, a lot of girls had posters and magazines of other women just to admire them and look up to them. You know, these models causing outbreaks of anorexia.
But this, this wasn't normal.
No girl would have a decent-sized photo of Pamela Anderson in her locker in a skimpy bikini that she greets every morning with a smile with her eyes roaming down her body and taking it all in—no straight girl, at least.
Haley grabbed her binders and notebooks before turning her head to speak to Claire.
“Don’t you hate it when they do that?” She asked, presumably referring to the kissing.
“Hm?” Claire looked up from her locker.
“When they kiss like.. that?” Haley murmured, circling her lips with a finger.
Claire let out a slight chuckle. "I dunno. I think it's pretty great," she grinned, closing her locker.
Haley's eyes shifted towards the tiles, a pensive look crossing her face. She quickly brings her chin back up and groans.
"Guess all the guys I’ve dated just all seem to be terrible at kissing. Like why do you even do that?" She scoffed. "Whatever. See you," she nodded to Claire, closing her locker and heading off.
"Bye!" Claire smiled, watching as Haley walked away. Once Haley was far enough, she reached over to open her locker, snatching the photo of Pamela Anderson off her locker and closing it.
***
During the car ride home, Haley stared out the window, only to realize how slow they were going.
Maybe it’s those meds Keith has been taking. Maybe that’s why he’s been acting so weird.
“Yo, speed up, jerk!” A male voice passed by as he honked at them.
Haley turned to Keith, eyebrows raised. “Uh, Keith? Why are we going so slow?”
Keith flashed her another damn sheepish grin. “Sorry, just... zoning, I guess.”
She looks around almost in disbelief.
"Uh, are you kidding? So drive faster, dipshit!"
"Uhh, no can do. Tires are deflatin' a little bit here."
"Oh my god," Haley muttered, bringing her hands to cup her nose and cover her face.
It can't just be her being judgmental. Something was going on here.
When they finally arrived at her house, Haley unlocked the door and stepped inside, only to find a group of people gathered in her living room. Most who she recognized, and one stranger.
Obviously that shirt would be enough to catch anyone's attention. A shirt so simple, yet somehow catches the eye.
straight is great
What.... the hell?
“Surprise!” Claire exclaimed, a small crack in her voice as she gave an awkward smile, holding a rolled-up piece of paper suspiciously in her hands.
Haley blinked. “What happened? Is somebody dead?”
Penelope walked over with a slice of pink cake and a warm smile. “It's your favorite, isn't that right? Now, why don’t you just come on in and sit down, honey?”
“W-what’s going on?” Haley’s confusion was practically echoing off the walls.
In regular scenarios, she probably would've taken the pink cake without hesitation. (Well, except for when she actually catches herself and rudely accuses her of trying to get her fat.)
Though this was different. Something was going on; she wasn't stupid. So much so, she paid no mind to the pastry in front of her.
The unfamiliar man reached out for a handshake. “Hi, Haley. My name is Mike,” Mike smiled. “Your parents and your friends want to have a conversation with you, and I’m here to help facilitate that dialogue. So why don’t we start by sitting down and making ourselves comfortable?”
Haley gave a small nod, before walking over and taking a seat on the couch, as everyone else sat down as well. Penelope set down the slice of pink cake on a small plate against the coffee table before taking her seat.
“Now, Acastus, would you like to start the conversation?” Mike prompted, gesturing towards her father.
Acastus nodded, getting up reluctantly to speak. “Haley, we love you,” he started with a small nod. “We all love you,” he said, looking around towards all the others who sat around her living room. “And, lately we’ve become concerned about... certain behaviors,” he said, trying to sound comforting as he pursed his lips. “We’re afraid you’re being influenced by a … way of thinking. Uh.. unnatural. Do you remember the woman on TV–”
“Honey, we think you’re a…” Penelope interrupted loudly, letting out a shuddering breath before continuing. “…Lesbian,” she whispered; whispering the word as if it were a slur.
Haley's face twisted in confusion, looking around at everybody in the room.
These fucking traitors! People who she thought genuinely loved her all thought she was some sicko who liked girls. Gross!
“Huh..?”
“I work for a place called True Directions, who help people like yourself to learn to understand the reasons behind homosexual tendencies, and how to heal them,” Mike explained.
“Wh-” Haley scoffed. “What tendencies? Why would you think I’m a–”
Her mother stood up to show the magazines and posters of female models and other popular female heartthrobs from her room in promiscuous clothing. Their boobs were practically on display.
But those were just who she... 'looked up to.'
“You also tried becoming a vegetarian one time, but it didn't last long since you hate vegetables,” Penelope added. What? How did that have any sort of correlation to being a homosexual?
Mike looked over from her mother to her. “In diet, watch for a switch to vegetarianism,” He quoted, pointing at Haley, to which she responded with a scowl.
“You don’t have any pictures of boys or Keith in your locker. Just a picture of Pamela Anderson,” Claire added, holding up the photo of Pamela from her locker.
Acastus unrolled a poster of Melissa Etheridge that she had on her wall.
"Queer iconography," Mike pointed at the poster.
And of course, the cherry on top. “You don’t even like to kiss me,” Keith said, his voice faintly laced with melancholy.
“It’s true,” Claire nodded with pursed lips.
Haley's jaw clenched. “... I can’t believe this,” Haley muttered to herself as she cast her gaze to the floor slowly.
“Denial is a part of the healing process that we’ll explore at True Directions,” Mike said as he offered a welcoming grin.
Haley looked up from the floor. “Healing?” She repeated, raising a brow.
“Like rehab, honey. Uh.. Homosexuals Anonymous,” Penelope explained.
“Haley, it’s only for a few months,” Acastus said reassuringly.
“Wh-this is a bunch of bullshit!” Haley exclaimed.
“Haley!” Penelope snapped.
“I-I.. First of all, a bunch of girls have magazines of women that they admire because they’re models and... have nice bodies and cool careers!” Haley tried to justify herself.
Well, it was true, but it was kind of different. All the posters and magazines that Haley had, literally all of them were half-naked.
It wasn’t just that she “looked up to them.” Staring at them made her feel something. And that should say a lot about her sexual orientation already.
"A-and, everyone listens to Melissa Etheridge, I have her poster in my room because I like her music, not because I look up to her.. unnatural behaviors or whatever the hell you guys are saying.." She shook her head, her voice rising. "You guys are crazy. Seriously, this is just pure reaching!"
"Well, those who love you gathered around to help you. They're not here to humiliate you, they simply just want the best for you," Mike smiled reassuringly.
"Bullshit!" Haley exclaimed once again.
"Haley!" Penelope chided. "Watch your language."
Haley shook her head and leaned back against the couch with her arms crossed. She narrowed her eyes as her lips tightened. "There is no way I'm going."