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It was raining outside, storming really. Every few minutes, Noelle saw another flash of lighting, followed shortly by thunder getting increasingly louder. She hated the rain. She hated storms. Every crack of thunder reminded her of the night Dess went missing. The rain sounded as if it was drilling holes into the roof. Once upon a time, Dess would bring Noelle into her room to hide during storms this bad, playing music loud enough to cover up the rain and thunder. Sometimes it would start storming while Kris and Asriel were visiting, and all four of them would sit around the TV playing games or listening to Dess and Asriel’s music. Nights like that had stopped years ago. It was rare for her to be anything but alone, and even more rare for her to have company during a storm.
Tonight, she had been lucky. Well, sort of lucky. Kris was over, but it wasn’t to see her. Toriel asked them to spend the night, but she hadn’t explained much on why. No one bothered to ask her. Noelle was on the couch in the living room, curled up against the arm rest. She held her knees tightly to her chest, staring at her homework on the coffee table. She had to get back to work, but the storm had left her terrified and anxious. It left her sad, as well.
Memories raced through her mind. Memories of Dess holding her while she hid in the closet, memories of her humming softly to her as the thunder roared, calming her enough to fall asleep for the rest of the storm. They would both sit by the piano for hours, Noelle sitting next to her sister on the bench with a cup of hot chocolate while she played a soft lullaby. Noelle remembered the words perfectly, but she was no good at the piano. Not like Dess or Kris were.
Noelle found herself humming softly to herself, staring out the window now. She couldn’t see anything outside, the heavy clouds blocking out whatever sunlight was left of the evening. She hummed the song Dess once sang, rolling the lyrics around in her mind. She wrapped a blanket further around her shoulders, trying to imagine the slight weight and warmth was the embrace of her sister. Maybe if she closed her eyes, she would be there. If she closed her eyes and let herself dream, maybe she would wake up to see Dess had never even left.
Then she heard it. The soft sound of the piano. She listened closely, her own humming coming to a halt. She recognized the tune immediately. Of course she did. It was the same one she had just been humming. Kris must have been playing, but when did they learn Dess’ lullaby?
She slowly stood up from the cough, keeping the blanket tight around her shoulders as she stepped toward the kitchen as quietly as she could. She poked her head through the doorway, looking toward the piano to see Kris sitting on the bench with their back straight, playing softly and… singing? Kris was singing as well? Kris rarely spoke, let alone sang. She stood there, motionless, and listened to them. Their voice was soft, warm, and light. They sang in a way that reminded her of Dess, of the way she would sing to Noelle when she was scared. She mindlessly stepped forward, her hoof clicking on the ground and causing Kris to suddenly fall quiet and look over. She stood there, staring. They stared back at her. Noelle started bowing her head repeatedly, holding up her hands and waving them around as if she were embarrassed. She wasn’t sure why she would be embarrassed.
“I-I’m so sorry! I’ll leave you be… Please, don’t let me interrupt y-” She didn’t get to say much, though, before she was interrupted by Kris laughing at her. It was a soft laugh. Melodic and gentle, just as she remembered. She couldn’t recall the last time she had seen them smile like that, in such a warm and comfortable way. Of course, most of the smiles she remembered were mischievous and often followed with a prank of some kind, but there were times when they smiled at her in a way that made her heart melt instead. Their smile was something inviting now, just like how they had smiled at her the night Dess went missing. The night her dad had been taken to the hospital. The same smile from all those nights that they would build a pillow fort around her because Dess and Asriel were away on a field trip while it was raining, leaving her without her usual safety.
“The storm is pretty bad. Sit.”
The words felt more like an offer or an invitation, despite being worded as a demand. She found herself walking closer before she could even think about it, taking a seat on the bench next to Kris. Another loud crack of thunder rang through the house. Noelle screamed, leaning into Kris and shaking. She hated how loud it was.
She felt Kris inhale before lifting their hands, holding them over the piano keys again. Then they started playing the lullaby again. Noelle listened closely, feeling her body relax as she rested her head on Kris’ shoulder. They began to sing again, and Noelle listened closely. She focused on the vibration of their throat with each note, slowly curling closer and closer against them throughout the song.
Her eyes closed on their own, and she started to hum along as well. The room felt so comfortable. The blanket was warm, it was a weight on her shoulders. It felt like Dess was wrapping her arms around Noelle once again, after years of being gone. If she let her focus drift far enough away, she swore she could hear her again, Dess’ gentle voice ringing through the air around both her and Kris.
Don’t forget, I’m with you in the dark.
She felt an arm wrap around her, shocking her back from her trance. Kris was looking at her, worried but understanding. Only then did she notice the wet feeling on her cheeks, reaching up to wipe away at the tears she hadn’t even realized had begun to fall. Kris wrapped their arms tighter around her, bringing her head to rest against their chest. She let out a weak cry as they ran their fingers through her hair.
She missed her sister. She missed the connection she had with Kris all those years ago. She missed game nights and pillow forts. She missed the sound of Dess’ guitar, and seeing her chase Kris around with a bat after they dropped a worm down Noelle’s shirt, and when she would make a tent out of old hoodies in her closet for Noelle to hide in when she was scared.
She clung on to Kris’ hoodie tighter, trying not to think about the giant wet spot her tears and snot and drool would leave. They were holding her so close, so comfortably, just rubbing her back while she cried. She felt so safe, so warm, so secure. Kris barely moved, only combing their fingers through Noelle’’s hair until she had finally stopped crying.
She hated rain. She hated storms. She hated the thunder and the lightning.
She hated the dark, too. Sometimes in the dead of night, she swore she could see Dess standing by the window. She could hear her voice in her ear. She missed her.
She really missed her.
Noelle took a deep breath and stood up, Kris following suit silently. She walked to the kitchen cabinets, Kris still following behind. She pulled down two mugs and filled a pot with milk, turning on the stove to warm it. Kris stood at the counter, watching her with their head resting on their crossed arms. She grabbed some thick bars of baking chocolate and a container of cocoa powder, adding some powder to the milk and some broken chunks from the bar. Kris was still watching her, knowing exactly what she was doing. She added a bit of sugar and vanilla extract, then split the hot chocolate between both of the mugs. She added a small candy cane into each one, hooked over the lip of the mugs, and a small handful of marshmallows as well.
Kris sat upright as she set their mug down in front of them. It hadn’t been used in years, and they seemed almost happy to see it again. It was a fairly ugly green mug with “Krismas” written on it in red glaze. The glaze had been mixed with too much water, though, and ended up looking like dripping blood. Kris loved it. It gave Noelle nightmares. Hers was just a soft pink with white and gold stars, and some blue snowflakes as well. They had painted them together years ago, when they were maybe 6 years old. Before Dess went missing. Neither of them ever used any other mugs when they were at the Holiday house.
They picked up the mug and immediately took a large gulp, which was almost instantly followed by them spitting the hot chocolate back into the mug. Noelle was almost offended before they muttered a quiet statement about it still being hot. She couldn’t help but laugh and take a, significantly smaller, sip of her own hot chocolate.
The two of them stayed there for a while, quietly drinking their hot chocolate while the storm continued outside. At some point, Noelle had found herself next to Kris instead of across the counter from them, leaning into them every time there was more thunder or the rain got louder. Their arm was wrapped around her shoulders, rubbing her arm lightly every time she jumped. It was embarrassing, really, but she didn’t find herself minding it that much. She had missed it too much.
Hours passed before the rain finally stopped, and by then, Kris and Noelle had both made their way back to the living room. Noelle was working on her homework again while Kris only groaned about not wanting to do theirs every few minutes.
She smiled at them everytime.
Some things really never did change.
She was humming quietly to herself again, thinking of Dess. Of Kris.
She would give anything to hear her sister’s singing again, but until then, Kris’ voice was just as lovely.