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'Hare' comes the birthday boy!

Summary:

“What the fuck are those?” Nie Huaisang asked as he looked into the rabbit enclosure Wei Ying had set up in Lan Zhan’s living room.

“Rabbits?” Wei Ying replied.

“They’re massive!” Nie Huaisang cried.

“Um…” Wei Ying bit his lip.

“Hares.”

“Huh?” Wei Ying asked.

“These are hares,” Lan Huan repeated.

Wei Ying rubbed the bridge of his nose. “You mean I had one job…one job…to get Lan Zhan rabbits for his birthday and I have failed?”

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“Its Lan Zhan’s birthday and everything must be perfect!” Wei Ying exclaimed.

“Why don’t you just let him sit in a quiet room with a boring book and a bowl of soup that is basically just water with a dash of salt?” Jiang Cheng offered.

“Jiang Cheng! I mean…in all honesty he would probably enjoy that…but no! I am determined that he will have the best birthday ever and that means…bunny rabbits!”

“Pardon?” Jiang Cheng replied.

“Lan Zhan loves rabbits, didn’t you know? Hmm…I suppose I only know that because I’m such a good friend of his.”

“You mean because you are in love with him, and you creepily stalk him everywhere?”

“RUDE. But again, not entirely untrue. Anyway, you have to help me tomorrow!”

“What? Why? I’m not in love with him!”

“Jiang Cheng you must distract him! I need to take delivery of the rabbits and get them settled in his place, and greet the guests…”

Urghhhh…..ask his brother!”

“No, Lan Huan is helping with the party! Look if you do this, while Lan Huan and I are setting up for the party I will subtly mention to Lan Huan a bunch of times all the good work you do at the dog shelter and how I’m so jealous of your big heart…”

“I don’t work at the dog shelter to impress people!”

“I know you don’t, but come on Jiang Cheng, I know you have a crush on Lan Huan, it can’t hurt to push your good points!”

Jiang Cheng relented. “Fine.”

“Really? Oh, Jiang Cheng I could kiss you!”

“Kill that urge real fast or I’ll not help you with this bullshit.”

“Okay, urge to kiss Jiang Cheng has been quashed.”

“Now, tell me what time I must be here to ‘distract’ your Lan Zhan tomorrow…”

***********

When Lan Zhan woke up on the morning of his birthday, he smiled to himself. Wei Ying had promised him a surprise. He hoped it was a day alone with his favourite person. They had been firm friends for so long but recently Lan Zhan had started to suspect that perhaps Wei Ying returned his feelings for him. Maybe today would be the day that Wei Ying would confess? What a birthday present that would be! As per Wei Ying’s instructions, Lan Zhan showered and got dressed and was just finishing up his skincare when his doorbell rang. He answered it and could not hide his disappointment at finding jiang Cheng standing there instead of Wei Ying.

“Happy birthday, Surprise you're stuck with me,” Jiang Cheng said with all the enthusiasm as a man who had just been told he had to shovel horse crap all day.

“I was expecting Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan confessed.

“Yeah, change of plan I’m afraid, I have to…entertain you.”

“No, thank you.”

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. “Hey, this isn’t optional now come with me and be entertained or I’ll break your legs.”

Lan Zhan sighed and resigned himself to his fate. He followed Jiang Cheng outside and locked the door behind them.

**********

Around the corner from Lan Zhan's house, Wei Ying felt his phone buzz in his pocket, he pulled it out to see a message from Jiang Cheng:

The rooster has left the nest

“Woo! We can head in now!” Wei Ying cried. He opened the door of his car and Lan Huan and Nie Huaisang followed him with bags full of decorations and food.

“Come on! Come on!” Wei Ying urged as he headed for Lan Zhan’s door. He unlocked it and led them instead.

“You have a key?” Lan Huan asked.

“Yeah, Lan Zhan got sick of me climbing his drainpipe to get into his bedroom window. Ha ha ha, drunk me is a determined cuddler!”

“I see,” Lan Huan said, looking like he saw a lot more than Wei Ying wanted him too. Wei Ying coughed. "Jiang Cheng volunteers at the dog shelter!" he blurted. 

Lan Huan smiled back at him. 

“Okay, what should we do first?” Nie Huaisang asked, offering Wei Ying a welcome change of topic. 

 Wei Ying clapped his hands together. “Okay, you start filling the dining table with the food, Lan Huan can handle the decorations, and I will handle the cute little rabbits!”

“It seems like you assigned yourself the easiest job,” Nie Huaisang complained.

Wei Ying was saved from answering by the doorbell ringing. “It’s the bunnies!” he cried before disappearing.

“I can’t believe I’m doing manual labour and not getting paid for it,” Nie Huaisang muttered.

**********

In a small café in town, Lan Zhan drink his green tea and looked at his watch.

“Boring you am I?” Jiang Cheng taunted.

“Not at all,” Lan Zhan replied dryly.

“Alright, let’s just get through this, eh? Neither of us want to be here but we both love that annoying little gothic disaster and will apparently do anything for him.”

“Mn,” Lan Zhan replied, his face growing softer as he thought about Wei Ying.

Jiang Cheng narrowed his eyes at Lan Zhan. “You know he really likes you right?”

Lan Zhan choked on his tea. “What?”

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. “God, you are as dense as him. He thinks you don’t like him either.”

“Wei Ying…likes me? As more than a friend?” Lan Zhan asked. Clarity was required.

“He likes you in the way that you want to hug and kiss someone and marry them and have little half goth/half whatever you are babies,” Jiang Cheng replied.

Lan Zhan blinked. “I…I…”

“Oh shit. Did I break you? Look I’m just saying if you wanted to like…be with him…it would make me feel sick, but he’d be happy. Like really, really, happy, so because of that I will shove down my nausea and allow it.”

Lan Zhan managed a small nod.

Jiang Cheng’s phone buzzed. “For fucks sake…it seems there is a problem, and I’ve been ordered to keep you away longer. How about we go for a walk around the park so you can process what I just told you?”

Lan Zhan nodded. He wondered what the problem was, but he had to admit he was glad to be allowed the extra time to think. Wei Ying liked him. Jiang Cheng seemed sure. But what was Lan Zhan going to do about it?

**********

“What the fuck are those?” Nie Huaisang asked as he looked into the rabbit enclosure Wei Ying had set up in Lan Zhan’s living room.

“Rabbits?” Wei Ying replied.

“They’re massive!” Nie Huaisang cried.

“Um…” Wei Ying bit his lip.

“Hares.”

“Huh?” Wei Ying asked.

“These are hares,” Lan Huan repeated.

Wei Ying rubbed the bridge of his nose. “You mean I had one job…one job…to get Lan Zhan rabbits for his birthday and I have failed?”

“They are still very cute,” Lan Huan offered.

Wei Ying sat down. “Okay, this is fine…they’re still in the rabbit family. I’m gonna kill that bloody Xue Yang! I can get your rabbits, no problem! These are like Temu rabbits!”

“Don’t be rude in-front of the hares,” Lan Huan said with a frown, leaning protectively towards their enclosure.

Wei Ying laughed. “I’m sorry, okay…everything is fine! I’ll just tell Jiang Cheng we are a little delayed and he needs to distract Lan Zhan for a little longer.”

“I’m sure they will both LOVE that,” Nie Huaisang grinned.

**********

“What are you smiling at?” Lan Zhan asked.

"Huh?” Jiang Chang asked continuing to smile at his phone. Wei Ying had sent him a text telling him about Lan Huan protecting the hares from his slander. Urghhh, Lan Huan was adorable.

“Is it my brother?”

“What?” Jiang Cheng asked, his eyes suddenly snapping to Lan Zhan’s.

“The only time I have ever seen you smile like that is when you are with my bother.”

“What the fuck? That’s not…I mean…really?”

Lan Zhan nodded. “Look I’m just saying if you wanted to like…be with him…it would make me feel sick, but he’d be happy. Like really, really, happy, so because of that I will shove down my nausea and allow it.”

Jiang Cheng snorted as Lan Zhan used his own words against him and then his eyes widened. “Does he really like me?”

“Mn.”

“Why?”

Lan Zhan shrugged, and Jiang Cheng laughed. “Well, okay then. Thank you. I will think about that.”

“I shall think about what you have told me also,” Lan Zhan replied. They nodded at each other in unison.

**********

“JieJie! Help me!”

Jiang Yanli chuckled as Wei Ying fell to the floor and grabbed her legs. “You said and I quote, ‘I can do it JieJie! I don’t need you to help, I’m a grown man!”

“Wei Ying was wrong, he’s only three,” Wei Ying grinned up at her.

Jiang Yanli ruffled his head and rolled up her sleeves. “Okay, what needs doing?”

“Well the food could use a lot of work…” Nie Huaisang confessed.

“And the decorations are not exactly right…” Lan Huan mused.

Jiang Yanli tapped her lip, then took out her phone. “Honey, can you please bring in the food from the car?”

Wei Ying gasped. “JieJie! You doubted me? How could you!”

“Do you want my help or not?” Yanli asked, Wei Ying wisely shut his mouth.

Jiang Yanli hung up the phone. “Lan Huan, we need rabbits. Take this coloured paper and these scissors, get Wei Ying to outline a cute rabbit for you, copy it, cut them out and stick them EVERYWHERE.”

Lan Huan nodded.

“Right, Nie Huaisang, please play to your strengths and go out and but some alcohol and fancy soft drinks.”

“You got it!” Nie Huaisang said cheerfully with a salute.

“Wei Ying text Jiang Cheng and tell him we need another hour.”

Wei Ying groaned. “He’s gonna kill meeee!”

**********

“I’m gonna kill him!” Jiang Cheng shouted.

“Another delay?”

“Yes,” Jiang Cheng growled.

“I have an idea,” Lan Zhan offered.

“What?”

“I believe if this ‘party’ goes well, we may end up confessing to the boys we like.”

“Maybe,” Jiang Cheng mumbled.

“Perhaps we should prepare by buying some new clothes for the party?” Lan Zhan suggested. 

Jiang Cheng considered it. “Yeah, I like it. Let’s do it.”

Lan Zhan nodded and headed off in the direction of the expensive designer stores.

“Woah! I can’t afford that!” Jiang Cheng complained.

“It is on My Uncle,” Lan Zhan said, holding up a black credit card. “He gave me this card in-case of emergencies, I consider this an emergency, don’t you?”

Jiang Cheng grinned at him. “I do indeed, Lan Zhan. I do indeed.”

***********

“Argh! Stop escaping! Hares are clearly the bad boys of the rabbit family!” Wei Ying complained.

“Perhaps they are the Wei Ying’s of the rabbit world?” Lan Huan offered.

Wei Ying burst out laughing. “Oh my god I just got roasted by a Lan, what a day!”

Jiang Yanli looked around and nodded approvingly. “Okay, I think we’re ready! Are the guests arriving soon?”

“ETA fifteen minutes,” Wei Ying replied. “I’ve text Jiang Cheng to let him know he can bring Lan Zhan home in thirty minutes.”

“Okay, you better go get changed then, I’ll keep an eye on the pen full of Wei Ying's.”

JieJie!” Wei Ying complained as Nie Huaisang broke down into a fit of laughter.

**********

All too soon the guests were filling Lan Zhan’s house and it was time for the birthday boy to make his big entrance.

“Everyone shut up!” Wei Ying hissed as he heard Jiang Cheng’s voice approaching the door.

“SURPRISE!” Everyone shouted as Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng entered looking…

“What the fuck, you both look like you walked out of a catalogue!” Wei Ying cried.

Lan Zhan straightened his blue suit jacket as Jiang Cheng lightly pulled the collar of his purple shirt. “We had time to kill,” Jiang Cheng said smugly with a shrug.

Wei Ying grinned. “You two bonded, admit it.”

“No,” Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng answered in unison which had Wei Ying breaking down into giggles. “Yeah, sure you didn’t. Anyway, in you come! Lan Zhan come see!” Wei Ying grabbed Lan Zhan’s wrist and dragged him around showing him the food and the decorations and the…

“Hares?” Lan Zhan asked as he looked down into the pen of fluffy little visitors.

“They were meant to be rabbits, I swear Lan Zhan, I was tricked!”

“Xue Yang?” Lan Zhan guessed.

“Why do I keep giving him chances?” Wei Ying whined.

Lan Zhan smiled at him. “Wei Ying is an eternal optimist.”

Wei Ying grinned at him. “Do you like the hares anyway Lan Zhan? They are just like rabbits! Only a bit more…wild.”

Lan Zhan nodded. “Mn, they remind me of Wei Ying. They are adorable but hard to control.”

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying cried, looking delighted. “Jiang Cheng! Come see the guests of honour!”

Jiang Cheng looked down into the pen with a concerned look. “Too many beady little eyes…what are they planning?”

Wei Ying laughed. “Jiang Cheng! They’re just animals! They aren’t plotting against you!”

“That’s what they want you to think,” Jiang Cheng mumbled. He shivered a little and moved away.

“I like them even more now,” Lan Zhan said in a quiet voice to Wei Ying. Wei Ying giggled. “Come, Lan Zhan. Let me get you a fancy soft drink and then…presents!”

**********

Even though Lan Zhan was not usually a fan of gatherings, he found that he enjoyed his party. All his favourite people were there, and Wei Ying was smiling so widely, his heart felt warm every time he looked at him. As the party started to wind down and the unruly hares were finally collected after trying to eat Jiang Cheng’s shirt, which just made Lan Zhan like them even more, Lan Zhan found himself standing with Jiang Cheng.

“You should talk to him,” Jiang Cheng hissed. He tilted his head towards where Wei Ying and Lan Huan were talking.

“And you should talk to him,” Lan Zhan echoed, tilting his head towards Lan Huan.

“I will! I’m just…preparing,” Jiang Cheng insisted.

“They are coming over,” Lan Zhan said quietly.

“Okay, don’t fuck this up!” Jiang Cheng hissed.

“Same to you,” Lan Zhan replied.

“Hello!” Wei Ying cried as he skipped up to Lan Zhan. “What are you two talking about?”

“Nothing important,” Jiang Cheng muttered.

“Wei Ying, may I see you in the garden?” Lan Zhan asked.

“Um, sure!” Wei Ying replied. Lan Zhan led Wei Ying outside and glared at Jiang Cheng over his shoulder.

Lan Huan laughed. “It seems a lot happened between you two today,” He observed.

“Yeah, we sort of got some stuff sorted out.”

I’m glad.”

“You are?”

Lan Huan nodded. “I had hoped we would all be able to double date at some point, that will work so much better if you two are not trying to actively kill each other.”

“We’ve never tried to…hold on…double date?” Jiang Cheng asked.

Lan Huan nodded. “Yes, would that be…acceptable?”

“Yes, that would be…acceptable.”

“Good.”

Lan Huan took his hand and squeezed it, and Jiang Cheng blushed but couldn’t contain his smile.

**********

“Lan Zhan did you like your party?” Wei Ying asked when they were sitting on the bench in Lan Zhan’s Garden.

“I did, thank you, Wei Ying.”

Wei Ying bumped their shoulders together. “There’s no need for thanks between us, you know that” he said with a wink.

Lan Zhan took a deep breath. “Your brother told me something interesting today.”

“He did? He’s never told me anything interesting in his entire life,” Wei Ying joked.

“He told me that he believed… you liked me.”

Wei Ying slowly turned bright red. “Be right back, I just have to go kill someone…”

Lan Zhan put his arm out in-front of Wei Ying to stop him leaving. “Wei Ying, stay. Is it true?”

“What is truth? Let’s explore that shall we…” Wei Ying delayed.

“Wei Ying, please. Tell me, is it true?” Lan Zhan implored.

Wei Ying looked at the ground. “Maybe…”

“Would your answer change if I told you I liked you too?” Lan Zhan offered.

Wei Ying’s eyes snapped up to meet Lan Zhan’s. “You…do?”

Lan Zhan smiled. “You are surprised? Wei Ying, you are my best friend…you are my favourite person. There is no one else for me.”

Wei Ying smiled. “You’re my favourite person too.”

They looked out at the garden and Lan Zhan took Wei Ying’s hand in his. “Thank you for the party, Wei Ying.”

“It was a pretty good party wasn’t it?” Wei Ying said, his eyes sparkling as he turned to look at Lan Zhan. 

Lan Zhan brought their joined hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to Wei Ying’s knuckles. “It really was.”

The End!

PS They did go on a double date and Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng were very civil with each other, however, Wei Ying tried to squirt chilli sauce into his brother’s eye which resulted in a full-on brawl which almost got them removed from the restaurant until the Lan brothers started throwing money around and then it was all forgotten. 😊

PPS Wei Ying took Lan Zhan to an animal sanctuary to just LOOK at the rabbits. Lan Zhan’s lip started wobbling twenty minutes into the visit. They left with five rabbits. Lan Zhan was very, very pleased.

The Real End!

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