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Susie had a lot to think about, and that was putting things lightly.
The last two days have been... stressful to say the least. From suddenly waking up in a Dark World after staying over at your new best friend's house, to watching as some freaky deer creature kidnaps the town's police chief and taking her to a bunker that they refused to let her into, and that wasn't even getting into all the bullshit that occurred at the church.
Susie liked to pride herself on being resilient, she'd experienced her fair share of hardship and had seen the worst the world had to offer, but even by her standards this was all a lot to handle.
She needed a break, but could she even afford to have one at this point?
She was one of the heroes of the prophecy, it was up to her to stop the world's destruction by any means necessary.
..Even if it meant losing someone close to you in the process.
The moment the thought entered her mind, Susie quickly shook it away.
"No..." She said to herself.
"We won't let that happen."
It wasn't simply a matter of want anymore, she refused to let the Last Prophecy come to pass. She'd spent so long being the outcast, being the girl no one wanted to be around because she was too scary, she wouldn't let some dumb, stupid prophecy take it away from her.
She...
She couldn't bare to lose it all...
Not again.
Her train of thought was cut off as a raindrop hit her snout, causing her to sneeze. The girl huffed, staring up at the sky with annoyance.
"Dumbass rain... I'm trying to have a moment here!" She says, waving her fist the air. Despite her frustration, she actually was sort of glad that it happened. So much was going through her mind thanks to the prophecy that something as simple as being annoyed at the weather was a welcome distraction.
As short of a distraction as that may have been.
Her yellow eyes traveled the town for a moment, its serene appearance serving a great contrast to the war in her mind.
None of these people knew.
None of them knew what was going to happen.
How much danger they were all in.
They knew nothing, only she, Ralsei and Kris knew, and one of them couldn't even be here to warn them.
A bitter feeling wormed its way into her stomach.
Ralsei knew so much, yet Susie knew so little. Despite how much she's come to learn it still feels as if she knows nothing. It was frustrating, it was annoying. Did they not think she could handle it? She fought a god damn titan for crying out loud!
She could handle it.
At least, that's what she liked to tell herself.
She's spent so long pretending to be stronger than she actually was that the lines between real resilience and faked endurance blurred.
And it was in this vulnerable, conflicted state of mind that Susie found her attention drawn to the church. The place where it all happened, the place where she learned the true depths of the prophecy and what awaited them on the other side of oblivion.
The experience itself was both positive and negative in a lot of ways. On one hand there were a lot of things she almost wished she never learned, on the other this place allowed her to show vulnerability in ways she hadn’t been able to before.
Her connection to people like Ralsei, to Kris, to those who were already deceased. She had never felt that close to anyone before and she wouldn’t trade it for the world.
…But that’s exactly what the prophecy wanted from her, wasn’t it?
A low growl left her throat as the bitter thoughts of the inevitable returned.
Dammit.
Why couldn’t she just think happy thoughts without it always being followed by an asterisk. Was it too much to ask for just one, genuinely good memory that the world wasn’t threatening to take away?
Had she not suffered enough?
How much more pain would she have to go through before she finally earned her lucky break?
Would she ever?
She didn’t know, and that scared her.
More than the monsters she had been forced to face, more than the apocalypse that constantly hung overher like a pair of dangling keys unable to be reached.
She just wanted to be happy. Was that too much to ask?
Standing in front of the church doors, Susie slowly raised her hand and pushed it open. She didn’t know what possessed her to set foot back into that building, but that could be said about most of her actions. If there’s anything her journey through the Dark Worlds has proven is that she was a naturally impulsive person, one who did more thinking than acting.
The church’s interior was just as she and Kris had left it. A cold, dark place with objects and items thrown around and not a single sign of life in sight, to think she can Kris went to the church out of a want to save those potentially trapped in the Dark World, only to discover that it had been canceled after the fact. She recalled what she had walked in on when returning to the Dreemurr Residence.
Toriel, the one she always associated as being one of the few good adults in a place full of negligent shitheads, was busy dancing drunk with some skeleton guy that had only moved in a few days ago.
It was an uncomfortable scene to watch, one that reminded her a little too much of home. She could tell that Kris was bothered by it too but they were a lot better at hiding it than Susie was.
She’d be lying if she said she didn’t feel at least a little bad for leaving them there to deal with that, but she tried to justify it by arguing that she would’ve just made things worse anyway.
That was what Susie did, she made things worse even when she was trying to make them better.
Taking a look around the lobby, the girl considered her next options. She could go into the main hall, but she didn’t see much of a point.
She could enter the office, maybe say hi to the old man… what was left of him anyway, but that only served as a reminder of everything that happened just hours prior, and she honestly didn’t have the energy to deal with those feelings right now.
And so that left the storage room.
Taking a deep breath, Susie pushed open the door, walking through before gently pushing it closed behind her.
Her eyes traced around the area for a moment before eventually landing on the piano.
Taking slow, gentle steps towards it, Susie stared at the white piano keys pensively, fingers twitching.
She didn’t have the greatest history with pianos, she told Kris as much earlier. Her memories of what happened at the plaza were still fresh despite happening so long ago. Being told she wasn’t allowed to play it when everyone else could, she told herself it was just because she was bad at it, but that was complete bullshit and she knew it. There were other kids that played on that piano too and they were just as bad if not worse.
They didn’t let her play because… because she was her, and because she was her, that was enough for people to decide she wasn’t worth listening to.
So many years spent trying to make herself heard and no one listened, day after day was the same bullshit before she finally had enough. If those assholes weren’t going to listen on their own then she would make them listen.
She heard a saying once. The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth. That’s how she felt back then. Sure she never burned down any houses but she sure did a lot of bad and outrageous shit just for the sake of getting attention.
She never wanted to be a monster, she never wanted to be “the scary girl”. The world had decided that for her and she ran with it because she didn’t see another option.
It was rather pathetic looking back, a desperate cry for help she presented as intimidation. What she hoped would be the thing that got people to listen only ended up ostracizing her further.
Letting out a sigh, she grabbed the stool over by the calendar and dragged it in front of the piano and sitting down. It was a little uncomfortable but it was better than standing.
Taking a deep breath, Susie raised her hands and began strumming them along the keys of the piano. It sounded off immediately. What she hoped would sound at least somewhat listenable ended up sounding like she was smashing a bunch of random keys together with little to no rhythm. Which wasn't far off from what she was actually doing.
Breathing through her nose, she tried to take things slower, more precise, less messy. Yet it still didn’t come out right.
She was getting frustrated now.
Why?
Why couldn’t anything sound like how she wanted it to?
Why did it always have to sound wrong?
Was God punishing her or something?
Was this the universe’s way of giving her the middle finger?
Again and again and again she tried to make it sound good, but it never worked. She could feel her anger reach its boiling point.
Raising her arms above her head, she balled them into fists, ready to rip this god forsaken instrument a new one when-
The sound of the door opening stopped her in her tracks.
Previous rage forgotten, Susie darted her head towards the door, watching as it slowly creaked open.
The girl’s mind raced.
Who was at the door?
Who the hell was even coming here at this hour?
Was it the preacher?
Was it Toriel?
Was it the Knight coming to steal her away too? Because if so then it had another thing coming.
Her fears were short lived however as she saw a familiar mop of brown hair and a yellow and green striped sweater enter the room.
“Kris!” Susie perked.
"The hell are you doing here dude? Aren’t you like… supposed to be at home sleeping or something?”
The teen didn’t reply immediately, opting to instead stare at her with that ever-present blank expression that she almost never saw come off their face. She was about to ask what they were doing when they finally opened their mouth.
“...Couldn’t sleep.” They mumbled out in a flat, emotionless tone.
“What, did your mom and her boyfriend keep you up or something?” Susie joked, though the way Kris’ face darkened seemed to imply that she was closer to the truth than she thought.
“...Did I hit a little too close to home?"
Kris chuckled, though it didn’t sound particularly joyful, though it did at least assure her that she hadn’t crossed any boundaries.
“I heard you playing.” They said, tone flat as they gestured to the piano.
“Oh… you did?” Susie asked almost timidly, a slight flush dusting her snout. Kris smiled, nodding.
“Yeah well uh, I just… wanted to see if I still sucked at it, heh. Turns out I still do.” She said, trying not to sound too embarrassed.
Standing from her seat, Susie set her arms behind her, putting on an easygoing smile as she tried to assume a casual demeanor.
“Since I’ve already figured that out, I’m just gonna go ahead and go now-”
“Wait.” Kris interrupted, holding their hand out in front of Susie.
“I can help you.”
Susie blinked, surprised.
“Kris wha-”
“You said I could teach you piano someday.”
The girl went quiet. She had said that hadn’t she?
“Well I mean… yeah, I did say that but like… right now?”
“Why not?” Kris asked, head tilted.
Susie opened her mouth to respond, only to close it again. She didn’t have a good rebuttal for that. The only reason for them not to try and teach her was the risk of waking up the neighborhood, but since when did she care about that?
“I mean… I guess we could…”
Her eyes drew back to the piano, expression contemplative before adopting a smirk.
“Just don’t expect it to be easy. I don’t exactly do well with teachers after all.” She joked before reclaiming her spot on the stool.
If she were honest, she was more nervous about this than she tried to let on, though she was sure Kris could tell. She hadn’t tried to seriously play piano in years, the last time she did ended with her being told she could never play it again and then smashing to pieces it not too long after.
But as Kris started to guide her through the steps, that initial anxiety slowly began to dissipate. Sure she made mistakes but they were always patient with her. They never told her that her anger was wrong or that she was terrible and should never try playing again.
Their presence was… calming. Calming in a way she didn’t experience very often. It made her feel things that she couldn’t quite explain. They weren’t bad feelings though, that much she knew.
By the end of their session Susie was playing something that actually sounded like music.
It wasn’t what she’d call good, but it was something, and Kris seemed happy with her at least.
“Ya know Kris, you should consider becoming a teacher, lord knows you'd do a better job than the adults.” She said with a laugh.
Kris smiled, a hint of amusement in their expression. It was truly a sight to behold. Kris didn’t show their emotions often, but when they did it was almost magical in nature. The way they smiled at her, it made her feel, if only for a moment, like everything was going to be okay.
Like nothing else in the world mattered.
Nothing but her and them.
…
Geez, she really has gone soft huh?
It was hard to believe that only a few days ago, she and Kris were enemies, yet now she couldn’t imagine them as anything other than her best friend.
“...We’re in this together, aren’t we Kris?” She spoke up, voice softer now.
“We’re just a couple of idiots who’ve been dropped into this crazy ass world and now we gotta stop everything from ending. It’s scary but… knowing I have you around.”
She looked up at them, a tender smile on their face.
“Things don’t feel so scary anymore.”
Kris stared at her blankly, expression unreadable.
“...Kris?” Susie spoke up.
“Kris… come on, say something, all this staring is making me nervous.”
Kris’ lips quirked into a small but noticeable smirk that just reeked of “I’m about to say something really stupid.”
“Sorry I… guess I got lost in your eyes for a moment.”
If a brain could short circuit, then that’s what Susie’s just did.
Did… did she hear that right?
Did Kris just say that they got lost in her eyes?
The sound of quiet snickering caught her attention. Looking down she found Kris with a hand over their mouth, stifling a laugh.
“Hey! What are you giggling at punk?!” Susie exclaimed, teeth bared. This seemed to be the thing that sent Kris over the edge, as the next thing she knew they were laughing out loud.
“Kris! Stop laughing at me! This isn’t funny!” She tried to demand, but her voice held no conviction and only caused the human to laugh harder.
“Oh that’s it!” She clenched her fists, taking an audible step forward. That finally seemed to snap Kris out of their fit.
“Since you seem to think I’m so funny, how about I give you something real hilarious to laugh at?” She spoke in a low, threatening tone.
To their credit, Kris did seem a little intimidated. They began making slow steps away, arms held out in front of them.
“S-Susie wait, I’m-”
Susie didn’t let them finish, seizing them by the arms and pinned them against the wall, eliciting a small yelp from the teen.
“Enough talking twerp, unless your next words are ‘I’m sorry for laughing at you Susie’ I don’t wanna to hear it.”
Kris stared up at her, their red eyes faintly visible under their bangs.
“Go on, say sorry.” She bit out, her fangs inches away from their face. It reminded her of how things were before all of this mess. When she was just the school bully and they were the weird kid who always fell asleep in class.
A lot had changed since then, yet many things stayed same. She was still the scary girl, and they were still her target.
Kris failed to say anything, their lips tied as they stared at the floor.
“...Ya know, you’re not as resistant as I expected you to be.” Susie commented.
“Almost makes me think you’re into this.”
She had meant it as a joke, a harmless jest not meant to cause any serious emotional reaction. Yet when Kris’ face lit up a bright red, it could only lead Susie to one obvious conclusion.
“Wait a minute…”
She analyzed Kris’ expression, her face coming unbearingly close to theirs. From this distance she could see the freckles lining their cheeks, had she ever noticed those before?
That may have proven a bad idea however, as the moment she was in range, Kris proceeded to shoot a piece of spit right into her eye. Susie’s reaction was immediate, releasing Kris as she went to paw at her eye.
“Ack! Kris!! What the hell?!” Susie whined, furiously rubbing at her eye with her paw, irritating it further.
After about a minute of this routine, Susie realized she was getting nowhere and gave up, bringing her hand down from her face. Her eye was swollen and red, twitching slightly as the girl glared at the teen.
“Not cool dude.”
Kris returned her look with a glare of their own, crossing their arms and puffing out their bottom lip.
“Oh come on! Don’t give me that face! I was just messin’ around earlier!” Susie tried to defend, throwing her hands up into the air. Kris didn’t let up however, their glare only hardening. Susie tried to mimic their energy but ultimately wilted after a minute of silent staring.
“Okay fine I’m sorry alright? I shouldn’t have shoved you against the wall or… done any of that other stuff. There, you happy now?!”
Kris grinned, a triumphant expression on their face.
“You’re forgiven.” They said smugly. Susie huffed, looking away. She wasn’t happy about being forced to apologize, especially when Kris was the one that started it. Had this been her from a few days ago she would’ve laughed at the mere concept of it.
Curse her borderline unhealthy attachment to this freak. The Susie of the past would be ashamed.
“Hey.” Kris spoke up again, catching her attention. Their expression was softer now, lacking the mischievous edge it had a few seconds prior.
“I’m… sorry for laughing at you, I promise I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings.”
The girl blinked. She hadn’t actually expected an apology, so to receive one was a bit jarring. Her eyes searched Kris’ expression for any sign of trickery or dishonesty. When she found none she relented, letting out a sigh.
“It’s fine… I guess.” She mumbled quietly, staring at the floor.
“Though I’m not forgiving you for spitting into my eye.” She quickly added, mostly to save face. Kris grinned.
“Good, because I’m not apologizing for that.”
Susie chuckled dryly, delivering a light punch to their arm.
“You’re such an asshole.”
Kris laughed.
“So are you.”
Susie sighed, eyes moving to the ceiling.
“Yeah… guess we’re just a couple of assholes huh?”
The silence that followed was short but palpable, only broken up by the creaking of the floorboards and the rain falling overhead. It wasn’t until the sound of booming thunder that Susie decided to talk again.
“...You should probably go home Kris. The weather is terrible and I don’t want your mom getting worried.”
“What about you?” Kris asked, expression showing concern. Susie laughed dryly.
“I’ll be fine, you just worry about yourself okay?” She said without conviction, a bitter smile crossing her face.
Kris looked like they wanted to argue, but decided against it, opting to simply nod instead.
“Okay.”
With that single-word response, they began making their way to the door, pulling it open and preparing to leave.
“Oh and Kris?” Susie spoke up again, alerting their attention.
“When all of this is over… you wouldn’t mind teaching me again, would you?” She asked quietly, refusing to make eye contact.
Kris stared at her for a moment, their expression unreadable. Then, without a word, they approached the monster girl, reaching their hands out to cup her face and pulling her down to their level, placing a light peck on her nose.
“Of course Susie. I’d be happy to.” With that, the human let go of her face before turning around and making their exit, casting her one final wave as they did so.
Susie stood there for a moment, eyes wide as her nose tingled. When her mind finally caught up to what just happened, she held up one of her large hands and brushed the spot where Kris had delicately placed their lips.
“Tch… weirdo…” The girl muttered, face slightly hot.
There were a lot of things Susie didn’t understand, Kris being one of them. She didn’t understand what some of their actions meant if they even meant anything at all, but she knew that for all of their oddities, she could always depend on them to be by her side till the day the Earth draws her final breath, and as long as things remained that way…
Then perhaps there was still hope for them yet.