Chapter Text
2nd of May 1998
Remus picked at the loose thread of his blazer and smiled to himself, because that's what Tonks always did. A nervous habit, a quiet fidget when her thoughts tangled too tightly. He could almost hear her teasing voice in his head: "You know, you look dead handsome in your teacher clothes." He shook his head, a ghost of a chuckle slipping past his lips, but the warmth of the memory couldn't hold back the cold emptiness pressing against his ribs. The familiar ache of her absence settled into his bones. It wasn't just their home he had left behind, it was his heart, his world.
She had fought him. Fought him. Not just with words, but with trembling hands that clung to him, desperate, frantic, as if she could physically hold him back, as if her sheer willpower could change his mind.
"No, Remus—no! You can't leave me behind, not this time!" Her voice cracked, high-pitched with panic, her fingers fisting his shirt so tightly he swore she might tear the fabric. "Take me with you! Please, just, just let me fight beside you!"
"Dora—"
"Don't 'Dora' me!" she snapped, but her voice was already breaking, wild and desperate. "You don't get to make this decision for me! You don't get to just, just walk out that door and expect me to sit here waiting to hear if you're dead!"
Her sobs were uncontrollable now, her whole body shaking against his, her hands clumsy as they grasped at his collar, his arms, his face, touching every part of him she could reach, as if she could somehow carve herself into him, make him feel how unbearable this was.
"I need you!" she choked out. "I can't—I can't do this on my own, I can't—"
Remus closed his eyes, swallowing against the painful lump in his throat. Because he needed her too. More than he could ever put into words. And yet, he had to leave. He had to.
"You have to stay with him," he murmured, forcing himself to cup her face in his hands, pressing his forehead against hers. "Our son darling, he needs you more than anything, Dora. If—" He inhaled sharply, almost losing his nerve. "If I don't come back—"
"Don't!" she shrieked, shaking her head violently. "Don't you dare say that! You are coming back to me—do you hear me? You are coming home, Remus!"
She was sobbing so hard now she could barely breathe, her words slurring together in a broken mess of love and fear. He wiped at her tears with his thumbs, trying to steady her, though he was anything but steady himself.
He had torn himself away from her and their son, forced to pry himself from the embrace that had felt like salvation and damnation all at once. Then, her sobs had been muffled into his neck, each breath against his skin laced with desperation, with the unbearable weight of knowing. "I need you," she had whispered, her voice breaking. "I can't do this on my own."
And oh, how he had wanted to say the same. How he had wanted to fall apart in her arms, to beg the universe to grant them more time. But he couldn't promise her anything, not safety, not forever, not even tomorrow. So instead, he held her as tightly as he dared, pressing trembling kisses against her forehead, trying to imprint every piece of her into his memory, trying to steal strength from the one person he was meant to protect.
Her hands had clung to his shirt, desperate, as if holding onto him tightly enough could tether him to their shared life, keep him from slipping through her fingers like sand. He felt the way she trembled, how her body shook with unspoken fear, and it nearly undid him.
"Come home to us," she had whispered, her voice raw, carrying the weight of a thousand unspoken prayers.
Remus had cupped her face in his hands, wiping away tears with the pads of his thumbs, his own vision blurred with the ones he refused to shed. "I promise to fight as hard as I can. For him. For you, my darling." His voice cracked over the words.
"I love you so much," she wept, her brown eyes searching his, pleading with him to stay.
"I love you more than the stars, the sea, the sky, my darling," he murmured, his voice barely more than breath. "Always."
And then he had to do the impossible. He had to leave. He had to turn away, had to peel her trembling arms from around him, had to force himself to walk toward a fate that felt heavier than death itself. With each step, he felt himself breaking, as if pieces of him were being left behind in that room, in her hands, in her tears. The sound of her sobs followed him long after he had gone, weaving themselves into the fabric of his soul, haunting him with every heartbeat.
Now, standing atop the high walls of Hogwarts, the weight of war pressing down on him, the echoes of their goodbye were louder than the battle cries below. He looked down at the chaos, at students and teachers scrambling like falling stars, their shouts lost beneath the thunder of spells and destruction. Kingsley stood beside him, surveying the scene with a quiet kind of acceptance. "Hogwarts always did look more beautiful at night," he murmured.
But Remus could not answer. His voice had been stolen by the fear clawing at his chest. The fear that this was it. That he would never see her again. That the war would swallow him whole before he could press one last kiss to her lips, before he could hold their son in his arms again.
And then—footsteps.
Pounding against the stone. Fast. Urgent. Familiar. His senses flared, heart lurching in his chest. And then he saw her.
Breathless. Determined. Alive.
His Dora.