Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ever since he was little, Bobby had always wanted to be an idol.

After all, he could sing. He could dance. His teachers all loved him because he was funny and down to earth. There was no doubt, no reason in his mind that he wouldn’t be an idol when he was younger, not when, in his mind, he already had everything needed to become one.

So when he was laughed out of his first audition, that was a fluke. That company hadn’t even watched him dance or heard him sing merely kicked him out and laughed at him like he was there as a joke.

When it happened again and again and again however, Celine had sat him down and told him the harsh truth he didn’t think he could ever have been ready to hear.

“You’re just not idol material.”

Those five words successfully ended an entire childhood’s worth of work, of dreaming and hoping for a chance to prove himself. He’d beaten Celine in every school talent show, their music teachers and dance instructors all insisted on giving him solos because he was just that impressive.

But he wasn’t tall, Celine towered over him and he wasn’t the lean, flexible model-type that debuted on his tv screen as he indulged himself in another tub of ice cream. When he finally started managing his girls, he saw the same guidelines he’d seen with the Sunlight Sisters.

Tall, lean and pretty. Bobby was none of those things. There was no room for the fat funny guy on a team full of models.

So he’d stuck to managing and he’d gotten good at it. It was easy to hide his insecurities in an industry where his competitors were all the same as him. Physically at least. Some went through the same drama he had, others just wanted to get rich quick. But none of them made him feel insecure, none of them had the glow of idols or even ex idols as he got older.

None until the Saja Boys debuted and their manager of all things was a point of discussion when it came to who was the hottest.

He’d first met Gwi-Ma when the Saja Boys had invaded the Huntr/x fan signing. They hadn’t spoken and at the time he’d had no idea who the very attractive man pouring himself a cup of coffee from the pot Bobby had prepared for staff was until he’d seen an article on him later.

He was tall, around 6’4 to 6’5. He had really nice face. The kind that looked like you could cut yourself on it if you got too close, his skin was quite a bit darker than Bobby’s. A really pretty shade of brown that reminded him a little of the cherry blossom trees that hung around the shrine in the country side village his family would go to every summer to visit his Omma.

The stranger looked relaxed, confident as he laughed at a story told by one of the make-up artists Bobby had exclusively on his payroll. He looked stiff when he laughed, plastic like a pretty doll.

It was uncanny almost.

His attention only turned to Bobby for a moment, he turned his body a little, flexing a wide open shirt and loose dress jacket that Bobby would never have the confidence to wear himself.

He winked and even had the audacity to blow a kiss as if Bobby was expected to fall head over heels for him just because he’d imitated one of his boys.

Instead Bobby gave a tight smile and promptly left the room.

He hadn’t seen Gwi-Ma since that day. Since the Saja Boys had gone on a six month hiatus after the Idol Awards and then had flooded back onto the scene with the excuse of a “mental health break”. Gwi-Ma hadn’t come back with them, not publicly at least.

The man that had awkwardly shuffled over beside his spot near the camera man during the Saja Boys and Huntr/x’s spicy eating competition was nothing like the man he’d seen that day at the fan-signing.

He was still unbelievably handsome but it had a rugged edge to it now. He had a few silvery hairs that were tucked into the long ponytail on his back, his face was no longer clean shaven, all those angles were covered by a thick, untamed beard. Not long but still…yikes!
The suit he was wearing looked tight, restrictive. Something every version of Bobby would suffocate in. It was an ancient wine colour. The shirt was a cold dark grey, the collar of which brushed against the bottom of his beard.

He kept shifting from foot to foot, dark eyes warily glancing around, looking for something or someone. Hr didn’t seem to realise that Bobby was even there, something that annoyed the smaller man relentlessly.

“Ahem.”

Gwi-Ma jumped before his head whipped down (god Bobby really hated how tall this guy was) to stare at Bobby.

“It’s been a while Gwi-Ma! How’ve ya been?”

Gwi-Ma shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets like a dismissive teenager. “Good…stressful I guess with the comeback.”

It sickened Bobby how he almost enjoyed the confident man from before being reduced to someone who could barely mumble. He didn’t know what about him made him so angry, usually he assumed the best of everyone and it would be him who had to talk down both Celine and the girls from getting into fights.

Now though, it was like the roles had been reversed. At least he had impulse control unlike some people (cough-Mira and Celine-cough).

Jinu suddenly stood up after a cue from one of the producers that Bobby hadn’t been informed about. Rumi got up with him and the rest of the two groups were soon to follow.

“We are excited to announce Play Game’s With Us’s newest reality show-a game of Idol Switcharoo!” Jinu cheered.

Oh. Oh wow-they were really doing this.

“Instead of our hard working managers training us-we’ll be training them!” Rumi continued, leaning on Jinu by putting an arm on his shoulder. He smirked down at her and she winked back up at him.

“The rules of the game are simple, twelve different Idol groups and solo artists have volunteered their super spectacular managers for the show in secret!” Zoey giggled.

“For twelve weeks the groups will coach and prepare their managers for a big end of season performance.” Baby was next, pulling the bottle of hot sauce out of his mouth with an exaggerated pop.

“Every manager had to have at least one new original song and the performances will be judged by a mystery squad of former idols.” Mira finished with her hands on her hips.

“Now of course we’ve nominated Bobby for our group! We love you Bobby!” The girls cheered. Noticing the camera on him, Bobby grinned and waved up at his girls. “Love you more girls!”
He heard Gwi-Ma swear from behind before Abby and Romance had so much as opened their mouths.

“Should’ve known they were planning something…I’m not wasting my time on this rubbish!”

The camera somehow managed to catch him after he’d spoken, in a near perfect model stance with his legs square, one hand on his hip and the other smoothing stray hairs back from his forehead.

Someone squealed, an intern fainted.

Gwi-Ma only huffed out of annoyance.

Once he was sure that the camera wasn’t on them anymore, Bobby turned to him.

Even if he didn’t want to compete, Gwi-Ma already had it won. He had the physique, he had the cold, mysterious bad boy vibe. Bobby figured he might as well acknowledge it now so it doesn’t look like he thinks he has any chance of winning.

“Looks like we’re gonna be rivals huh Gwi-Ma?” Gwi-Ma scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“A rivalry requires two people on the same level, while that may describe our respective groups I think it’s obvious to all of us that we are not equals.” His last words stung, especially as he leaned down to get right into Bobby’s face about it.

Someone gasped and both Bobby and Gwi-Ma slowly turned their attention to the film camera pointed right at them.

“Looks like someone’s confident huh folks?” One of the hosts laughed. Of course he did, it made for better ratings if Bobby and Gwi-Ma had a pre-show ‘hatred’ of one another.

Gwi-Ma’s face went pale and he probably tried to save face in front of the camera for a second but Bobby was quicker.

“Yea-cause I’m gonna kick your butt!”

Gwi-Ma blinked at him and the few people in the TV studio laughed. Bobby knew his archetype, he was the fat, funny one who people rooted for as a joke.

The show ended and Bobby had left before Gwi-Ma could say anything else. Rumi and Zoey’s words of comfort and Mira’s threats to end Gwi-Ma’s existence went in one ear and out the other.

Twelve weeks. He had twelve weeks to prove all of those companies and Celine wrong. To prove his parents and teachers right. He’d win this competition, he had to.

Otherwise, what else did he have?

Chapter Text

The ride back to the Saja boys house was as tense as one might expect it to be with their grumpy manager who though that ‘work’ and ‘fun’ meant the same thing.

Abby had tried making a couple of light hearted jokes here and there but Gwi-Ma didn’t so much as crack a smile and he was quickly glared by the others into shutting the fuck up.

When they got back to the house, Gwi-Ma had quickly stormed up to his office with Jinu (trying to guide all of the Saja Boys into another rehearsal).

Abby looked between the stairs that Gwi-Ma had just left up and then at Jinu and decided he’d rather check out whatever is wrong with their manager than listen to Jinu’s lectures on everything they did right and wrong during the show-especially when he already knew that he would be told once again that he needs a public persona outside of his abs (which honestly only Jinu has an issue with, the public loves his abs).

So he slips into the office because he knows Gwi-Ma always takes at least an hour to remember to lock the door.

His manager is slumped over his desk with his head in his hands. They were lucky that the ponytail had lasted as long as it did because the idea of Gwi-Ma taking care of himself in his current state was practically non existent.

“You okay boss?” Abby asked. Gwi-Ma looked up, slowly. Only the very corner of his eye was visible between loose strands of greasy hair.

“You’re cancelling my entry into that competition Abby-you hear me?”

Abby frowned. He hadn’t agreed with entering their boss into the damn thing in the first place-that was all Jinu’s idea.

“It’s the only way we’re getting him to start taking care of himself plus, he’d do it for us wouldn’t he?”

The other boys were easy to convince, especially Romance who wanted to get right to styling and aesthetics.

Abby though, he still wasn’t sure on it.

As if it wanted to dissolve the awkward tension, his stomach growled. Gwi-Ma sat up, now he was paying attention. This was bad, this was really bad.

See, Abby hadn’t eaten in a few days, he’d drank a lot of water and protein shakes sure but he’d felt guilty every time he’d eaten anything over the course of their hiatus after Baby had joked about his abs being replaced by a beer belly if he kept eating as much as he was. Now, he spent hours after meals staring at his abs just to convince himself that they were still there.

“Look we just thought it would be good for you-”“When was the last time you’ve eaten Abby?”

Abby winced and looked away.

He could hear a huff of annoyance from Gwi-Ma before there was a hand on his shoulder, guiding him down stairs and pushing him onto one of the stools around the kitchen’s island.

“We’re eating out tonight boys-what do you all want?”

So that was how they all ended up around the table with Romance and Gwi-Ma at either side of Abby. Gwi-Ma so he could make sure that Abby actually ate the gimbap he’d reluctantly asked for and Romance because Gwi-Ma knew that the other boy was the most likely to pick up on Abby not eating if he decided to just pick at his food, which was exactly what happened.

“You haven’t touched your gimbap dalling, do you not like it? Here try some of my bossam!”

Abby blushed at the nickname but pushed Romance’s offer away regardless. “Nah I ate like an entire tables worth of snacks at the studio-I’m good!”

He went to excuse himself from the table when Gwi-Ma grabbed his shoulder and pushed him back down with a glare.

“Eat.” He said simply before he went back to eating his ramyeon. The others were starting to stare at then now. He could feel Romance’s eyes fixated on his full tray and then on his face.

“Abby.” He began. If there was one member of the group who came anywhere close to being as scary as Gwi-Ma, it was Romance.

Next thing he knew, Romance was shoving a pork wrap into his mouth and then pinching his nose so that he had to chew and swallow it.

“I can eat by myself y’know!” Abby protested. Romance let out a huff as he dropped two more pork wraps onto Abby’s plate.

“Then do it.”

So Abby did. He finished his gimbap and the pork wraps with a fraction of each of the side dishes Romance had ordered to go with it (god he’d forgotten how much he loved the salty taste of the meat and the crunch of the cabbage wraps). When he’d finished that Baby walked over, dumped two pieces of buldak onto his plate and then put the newly emptied plate in the sink with a smug smirk.

“Aw come on I finished my food-”

He was interrupted by Jinu pushing his tteokbokki bowl over, a third of it still left inside.

Gwi-Ma pushed it back over with a glare. “Abby might have been the focus tonight, but I didn’t forget about you Jinu!”

Their leader frowned as he pulled his bowl back towards himself. Mystery gave his last two rice cakes to Jinu and Abby (he didn’t like savoury food that much but Gwi-Ma insisted he didn’t eat straight up sugar for every single meal so rice cakes were a compromise) before he nodded at Gwi-Ma and went to go sit beside Baby who was setting up Just Dance on the switch Jinu had bought him for his birthday two weeks ago.

That left Jinu, Romance, Abby and Gwi-Ma still sitting at the table.

Jinu shoved as much of his tteokbokki into his mouth as he could and was probably planning on spitting it out into a bin or the toilet but Gwi-Ma made sure he stayed sitting at the table until there wasn’t so much as a trace of it left on his tongue.

He tried to stand up and leave when Gwi-Ma had made sure he was finished but then Gwi-Ma told him to eat the rice cake too.

Jinu’s face scrunched up when he looked at it which made Gwi-Ma sigh and tell him he was free to go.

Jinu left soon after with Gwi-Ma trailing behind him, probably to make sure he didn’t try to throw any of it up-damn it now Romance was going to do the same for Abby!“You’re doing well dalling, just need to finish the rice cake!”

Abby pouted and tried his puppy dog eyes. “But I’m not hungry for it!” Romance raised an eyebrow.

“We’ll split it then.”Abby sighed but agreed and they split the rice cake between them. Later on, when Abby and Romance had decided to cuddle instead of sleeping, Romance had called Mira down and then the two of them tag-teamed him.

“What do you mean you’re worried your abs will disappear-you spend more time in the gym than you do with us!”
“Dalling this is what Jinu meant when he said you need a personality other than your abs-it’s not healthy!”

Abby pouted again. He felt like a child being told off by his parents, he felt small.

It seemed that his partners took pity on him because soon he was being pulled into the middle of the cuddle pile so the three of them could watch the announcement videos for the other managers being entered.

Even though he knew that it wasn’t the end of things, that Romance would probably start watching what he ate and didn’t eat like a hawk and Mira would probably start packing extra snacks and forcing him to eat them.

Well he might as well expose Jinu while he’s at it. If he has to suffer then so should Jinu!
“You should probably tell Rumi that Jinu does the same thing!”

Mira looks to Romance who nods. She takes out her phone and starts typing (probably texting Rumi about this new information) before she rejoins the cuddle pile.

Ten minutes later and the sound of shoes stomping up the stairs has never been so satisfying.

Chapter Text

Jinu had a problem and that problem came in the form of his very angry girlfriend banging on his door and his aptly named cat ‘Derpy’ and his sudden knowledge of opening doors.

“Derpy no don’t you dare-”

It was too late. The door was opened, and his treacherous cat was rubbing itself up against it’s step mother’s legs. It’s very angry, step mother’s legs.

“Jinu.” Her voice was a warning, not a threat. He knew he was in trouble, knew that he was going to beat the shit out of Abby later for this because he’d never met a pettier man.

“Ruru…what’s up?” It was a pathetic attempt at trying to distract her and he knew it. Rumi’s eyes only narrowed as she brandished two plastic bags that reeked of calories that he didn’t need like they were some kind of a sword.

“You know why I’m here Jinu, now you and I are going to watch the recaps of the other idol announcements for Idol Switcharoo and laugh at it and all of this better be finished by the time we’re done!”

Jinu winced at her cold tone as he sat down on the bed and kicked off his slippers. He pushed himself up onto his pillows and dragged his knees under his chin while ideas on how he can avoid eating as much as possible flooded his brain.

Rumi copied him, but not before she dumped the two bags down in front of him and started pulling out all of the little things that she’d brought. None of it was an actual meal (thank Rumi’s intuition for knowing that he wouldn’t have been able to finish it even if he’d wanted to).

Instead it was three bags of different kinds of crisps, a box of pepero sticks, an instant ramyeon which she carefully placed on the bedside table closest to him. She must have filled it before hand and then somehow balanced it on top of everything else with no spillage.

That was his perfect girlfriend for you.

Seaweed crisps (at least they were healthy and low-calorie) and two boxes of choco pies joined the other foods on his bed before Rumi cuddled up beside him and told him to turn on the TV.

He did so without any complaint.

What he did complain about was when Rumi started trying to get him to est something.

“I’m not hungry!” He tried to protest.

Rumi knew better though, Rumi knew how he lied.

She shoved the ramyeon at his chest with such a ferocity that the broth almost splashed out of the cup.

“I don’t have-”
The chopsticks hit his ear seconds later.

He cuddled up beside Rumi, partially because his girlfriend was similar to Gwi-Ma in that she was always warm and partially because when he felt guilty or ashamed for eating, he knew she wouldn’t judge him.

He knew from the way her fingers danced through his hair and every male idol on screen was “pretty, but not as pretty as you!”

Before he’d even realised it, he’d finished his ramyeon and was on his second choco pie.

He slowed down, shame colouring his cheeks before Rumi split a pepero stick in half and handed him one half while she ate the other.

That made it easier, he knew that his girlfriend was gorgeous. Knew that he probably didn’t deserve her either. But knowing that they were eating the same things and being confident that she would still be pretty at the end of it all gave him the courage to finish all of his snacks and treats.

Shame almost forgotten.

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Gwi-Ma was…confused to say the least when he answered the door and two Huntr/x girls sprinted past him. Rumi looked like she was going to murder someone and was for some reason holding two plastic bags filled with various snacks and…a steaming cup of ramyeon?

Zoey just looked happy to be there.

From the surprised yelp Mystery let out when she dived over the couch to say hello to him, he doubted the visit was planned by the boys. Maybe Abby had snitched on Jinu to Mira and Mira had snitched to Rumi who was absolutely going to stuff him until he couldn’t move anymore.

With the girls already there, it wasn’t surprising when Bobby followed them although he asked for permission to enter and actually acknowledged Gwi-Ma’s presence.

“Gwi-Ma! I’m so sorry for the short notice-the girls were just so excited to see your boys!”

“…my boys?”Bobby looked up at him and Gwi-Ma didn’t know how he hadn’t noticed the other man’s eyes before because those eyes could ask him to help bury a body and he’d do it no questions asked.

“Well anyway…” Bobby started to ramble on about something but Gwi-Ma wasn’t paying attention. Not really.

He remembered the first time he’d seen the man. They were about twenty three, Gwi-Ma had just come out of the worst moment of his entire life looking like a wet cat if the cat was covered in purple and pink paint.

Bobby was the only other person sitting in the little hallways beside the studio, huddled in a ball while he desperately fought back his own tears, the reason for which Gwi-Ma had yet to figure out. He’d remember those big brown eyes anywhere. They shone like magic in a way, it made him forget himself for a moment as he ran past.

Now those big brown eyes weren’t sad, they were happy with the general giddiness that Bobby always seemed to carry with him.

“You know I actually auditioned to be an Idol but i got laughed out of the audition-sucks for them though because they never got to see my killer dance moves!” He struck a pose.

Gwi-Ma’s response had left his mouth before he’d even thought about what he was saying.

“I know, I saw you crying in the hall way.”

Chapter Text

Bobby stared up at him with surprise and a little bit of hurt and suddenly Gwi-Ma was reminded of how close the kitchen really was to the sitting room and how close he was to getting the shit kicked out of him by one very angry and over protective rapper.

“You…saw me-how!?” Bobby demanded, slamming his hands down on the counter. Gwi-Ma held his own hands up in surrender.

“Wow-it was literally just for a second, calm down!”

Bobby’s frown deepened (a look only he could make cute) but still he settled down across from Gwi-Ma, who felt like this had suddenly turned into an interrogation.

“Explain.”

So he did…

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

The first time he had seen him, Gwi-Ma had been slightly older than other debuting idols but was still a front runner to debut soon, he was in the waiting room. He’d already decided on his song if it was asked for, and the choreography was pre-taught. Something he didn’t need to practice because there was another man in front of him practicing it right in the middle of the waiting room.

He had the one thing Gwi-Ma lacked when it came to being an idol, or well, wanting to be one. He had confidence-this guy had the audacity to dance in front of everyone in the waiting room and without saying anything, encourage others to do the same thing.

Gwi-Ma was tempted to ask for his name but at the same time didn’t feel like getting written off as weak or a leaching attempt to he stayed quiet.

The second time was after the ‘incident’.

He’d ran out of the room covered in purple paint, Bobby had likely ran out of it before in tears. He’d felt like crying at the time but he couldn’t because the paint was drying out his eyes.

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Bobby listened to his story with a concerned but slowly calming expression.

“Yea…they laughed me out of there real fast, cause again I didn’t even get to audition…”
Gwi-Ma frowned. “I don’t see why not, it’s not like you were any different to the other people auditioning with us!”

Bobby’s glare would have been powerful enough to stop Baby from whinging before and after signings and interviews.

“Don’t-don’t patronize me like that okay!? I get it!” The smaller man slammed his fist down against the table and the previous buzz of teasing and Baby’s iPad immediately died out.

“Bobby?” Zoey had practically whispered from her spot on the couch, she peeked up over the back of it with Mystery (ducking down to match her height of course) beside her.

Bobby sighed and ran a hand down his face. He sent one last glare Gwi-Ma’s way and then turned around to face his girl.

“Sorry Zo-got a bit heated there, do you need anything?”

Zoey’s brows furrowed for a moment before she said “no thank you Bobby” and then got back to teasing Mystery about his hair.

Bobby whipped back around to Gwi-Ma. “Sorry for um-lashing out at you like that. I shouldn’t have-”“Why?”Bobby glanced up at him. “Why what?”“Why were you different from everyone else, why did you get singled out when you had literally everything going for you?”Bobby stared at his own hand like it was going to grow a mouth and say something before he looked at Gwi-Ma with some kind of horrified understanding.

“You…you really don’t see the difference between us, do you?”

Gwi-Ma shakes his head. “Besides you being the better manager and me being taller-no, not really!”

A little smile crawls it’s way onto Bobby’s face. Partially relieved and partially in disbelief.

“I don’t get that a lot you know, people’s truth being nicer than their lies.”

Gwi-Ma raised an eyebrow. “When did I lie to you?”“You lied about a lot of things during the Saja Boys initial debut according the articles I read-such as the fact that you’re literally related to Sun-Ma! The most famous idol of our generation, he surpassed the Sunlight Sisters in sales,twice!”

Gwi-Ma groans at the mention of Sun-Ma’s name and starts making himself a coffee.

“I’d rather people didn’t know I was related to that-asshole!”

Now it’s Bobby turn to be startled. “Really why not? He seems like a great guy from all of his interviews and Celine said he was civil which is the equivalent of sainthood when it comes to her descriptions.

Gwi-Ma bites his lip. Does he tell Bobby, ruin the little fantasy man he has in his head? Tell him about the favoritism, the pressure, the paint.

Tell him that they shared the dream of becoming an idol but while Bobby was going to crush this competition, Gwi-Ma was going to humiliate both himself and his boys because of his stupid stage fright-

No, he decides. Bobby only came because Huntr/x came and he’s only seen the shorter man twice in his entire life. Three times counting the present. He’d tried being Sun-Ma for a while, he’d tried being mr perfect and it had landed him and his boys in a six month hiatus.

“We just…never got along that well. We don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things.”“Well maybe the competition can change that-considering he’s a fellow competitor and all.

Gwi-Ma whipped around so quickly he almost spilled the coffee in his mug all over the place.

“He’s a what-"

Bobby frowned and pulled out his phone. “He’s entered into the competition, he manages that group with the bubble gum song y’know the-”Gwi-Ma freezes. “…bubble gum?”

“Yea bubble gum! Do you want me to play a bit of it?”

Without Gwi-Ma’s confirmation, Bobby starts playing a song that sounds all too familiar.

Familiar because it’s his song, that Sun-Ma had promised he wouldn’t use once he’d realized that Gwi-Ma wanted to be an idol.

“Thieving bastard!” Gwi-Ma hissed. He had to put down his coffee mug because he was clenching it so tightly and he didn’t want to break it.

“Bobby stared up at him in surprise. “What was that?”

Gwi-Ma shrugged him off, someone like Bobby looked for coincidences when they weren’t there. He didn’t need that right now. He turned around to face the kitchen cupboards again.

“Nothing.”

His coffee mug is placed down beside one of his fists (since when had he been clenching his fists?) before Bobby starts rubbing circles into his back.

“You okay?” He asks softly. That’s what Gwi-Ma likes about Bobby, he knows exactly what to do in every situation. But Sun-Ma…

Sun-Ma wasn’t the kind of person Gwi-Ma ever wanted Bobby to have to think about. So he doesn’t tell him.

“Yea…thanks Bobby.”

Chapter Text

The rest of the week was a whirlwind of avoiding the paparazzi and trying to get his name taken out of the conversation surrounding the show.

It was hard when the article about he and Sun-Ma was rediscovered and everyone started picking sides.

The public naturally gravitated towards Sun-Ma (of course that smug bastard had to be everyone’s favourite) and before the show had even started Gwi-Ma was already a controversial villain.

That was good, he could work with that. He’d just find someone better at shit-stirring and disappear after the first couple of weeks.

Unfortunately it was looking like he’d still have to be on camera which meant doing things like not looking like a “dead man walking” (as Baby had so helpfully said). He’d agreed to the shower, sleeping at least seven hours (because trying for eight was hopeful at best and naive at worst) and actually eating three meals a day (because apparently coffee didn’t count as a meal).

But he was not shaving his beard.

“Gwi-Ma, sajang, you know we love you-but there are people who don’t have razors with better looking beards than that thing!” Romance had hissed one day after Abby and (a surprisingly strong) Mystery had dragged him into the bathroom where two of the remaining group members were sitting with a pair of scissors and a razor.

Jinu’s grin said that he was enjoying this way too much.

He found out where Baby was when the door had locked shut behind them and the shortest member had sat down on the edge of the bath tub with his iPad and a bottle of hot sauce that he’d shoved a straw into.

Gwi-Ma was trying, he really was. But sometimes you had to compromise on things in this industry and Baby’s hot sauce addiction was one of them.

Abby had held him down with a headlock while they worked (something he looked immensely uncomfortable with the whole time because if there was one person in this group who actually gave a shit about what Gwi-Ma thought about this whole thing it was Abby) and after around an hour and a half they were done.

“And voila-you don’t look like a bum any more, please leave your applause until after you finish fully taking in my masterpiece!”

Gwi-Ma rolled his eyes at the pink haired boys theatrics but still took the heart shaped mirror (where did the mirror come from they had one in the bathroom) from him and looked at the person in it’s reflection.

He didn’t even realise that it was him for the first couple of seconds. Without that beard, without even the five o’clock shadow he’d sported before their hiatus, he looked every inch his appa.

Same harsh brown eyes, same slightly wavy hair that had to be glued to his head in order for it not to fall over his face. He had the same prominent cheekbones and strong nose.

It was like looking into his past, a past he’d been trying to forget for years now.

He handed the mirror back to Romance with shaking hand and tried to force himself to stand up. But once he was up he was stumbling out of that bathroom as fast as he could, fumbling open the lock and practically sprinting down to his office which he actually locked as soon as he got inside this time as a lesson learned from the intrusion that got him into that bathroom in the first place.

He could hear the boys confused voices, all overlapping with one another and-god he fucked up but he couldn’t bring himself to look at any of them again.

He stumbled towards his desk and somehow managed to collapse into his chair instead of on the floor.

Memories of his own face shouting at him; calling him useless, calling him a mistake, flooded his mind.

His angry face was what he saw every time he got slapped for being naughty, every time Sun-Ma had told on him for something petty it would be this face, the one he’d just seen, that went red as it yelled at him for what felt like hours on end.

He’d tried to run, he’d tried so damn hard to get away from that bastard-but how was he supposed to run from himself!?He let his head rest on his shaking hands, his whole body trembling almost embarrassingly.

He was a grown man for fucks sake-he shouldn’t be so shaken up about this. Not now, when he hadn’t seen him in so long.

He didn’t know how long he’d sat there for, trying to force some air back into lungs. But it was long enough that one of his boys had come to knock on his door to check in on him despite them knowing it usually took him at least an hour to cool off enough to be able for a conversation (fuck a full hour-for a guy he hadn’t seen since he was a teenager)!?

He’d dragged his feet over to the door, feeling (and probably smelling) like shit because when he was stressed or upset, he got really warm and naturally that lead to him sweating.

He slumped against the door frame and lazily undid the lock, pushing open the door just a smidge to see a very upset looking Romance on the over side-fuck!

Romance was humble about his own abilities on a good day, something that he (like Jinu and Baby) over compensated for by pretending to be cocky and over confident all of the time.

But now, after Gwi-Ma had ran out of the bathroom like a mad man after he’d given him a shave well…he doubted Romance would be doing his own hair or make-up before a show ever again (which was a pity because sometimes the interning make-up artists would ask him questions about looks for the other boys and he had such good taste).

“Romance…are you…alright?” He managed to mumble through his post-tantrum haze.

Romance certainly didn’t look alright, his soft eyes were shiny with unshed tears and his hair was jutting out awkwardly in a way that told Gwi-Ma that he’d been pulling at it again.

“I fucked up your face!” He all but howled and what else was Gwi-Ma going to do other than open his door fully and pull the younger man towards him, shakily enveloping him into a hug.

“No, no you didn’t fuck up my face-you did a great job! I…I was just so surprised at how um-clean it looked!”

But Romance (unfortunately) wasn’t Mystery, who’d believed Gwi-Ma when he’d told him that they needed dog food and he was so happy that he’d gotten then some after he’d picked it up during a late night snack run and the other boys had made fun of him for it. Honestly Gwi-Ma didn’t know what was going through Mystery’s head half the time, just that none of it was evil and all of it would have any genius psychologist scratching their head on as to why his brain worked the way it did (Gwi-Ma blamed the undiagnosed autism that he couldn’t mention to Mystery whose parents didn’t believe in such things).

No, Romance was, arguably, the most observant and intuitive of the group (with Baby being a close second) so he only sobbed harder into Gwi-Ma’s chest and the manager was getting a funny feeling that if he didn’t get Romance to calm down soon then he was going to have to explain himself to an unusually pissed off Abby.

“You-you hate it! I-I can’t even cut a beard right!” He hiccuped.

Gwi-Ma frowned and bit his (already abused) lip. Should he tell Romance the truth?No. No he wasn’t going to drag hi-the Saja boys into his own personal problems. They already had the pressure of being Idols weighing on their shoulders,they didn’t need to baby him on top of that.

“Romance I’m serious-Rom-Romance. Look at me!” When the pink haired boy finally looked up, his hair was a tussled mess and there was snot running down his face. If there was one thing about Romance, he was an ugly crier.

“I love it, I really was just stunned by how…different I look without the beard. You did a great job!”

Romance stared at him sceptically for a farther few seconds before his sobs faded into sniffles.

“Are you…are you sure?” He asked, hesitantly.

“Positive!” Gwi-Ma replied with all of the energy he could muster.

“How about you take a lazy day today, ask Mira if she wants to come over to you and Abby. You’ve more than earned it.”With one final whimper, Romance backed away and flinched at the mess he’d made of Gwi-Ma’s shirt.

Noticing his staring Gwi-Ma quickly crossed his arms to cover it up and shrugged. “I needed to wash it anyway!” He chirps.

Romance nods, stiffly and red faced as he comes out of his upset and realises that he’d just sobbed into his managers chest over a shave, before he moves down the hall towards the bathroom, likely trying to hide the fact that he had been crying before any of the other boys saw him.

Abby would notice that he was upset anyway. If there was anyone that embodied the word ‘eldest brother’ it was Abby.

Closing the door again with a soft ‘click’ Gwi-Ma allowed himself to slump against it as a reminder from his calender went off on his phone.

Oh right, he still had to film an introduction interview tomorrow.

God what was his life?