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It was raining heavily that day, which meant Futaba was having a harder time than usual guiding them deeper into Mementos, toward their next target.
A bad feeling, like a premonition, haunted Yusuke’s mind, but he chose to dismiss it as an unnecessary concern—which soon proved to be a terrible decision. Before they knew it, a horde of shadows had them surrounded, grunting and groaning as they closed the distance.
“Shit,” said Ryuji, glancing around. “What do we do?”
“I can’t see a way out,” said Makoto. “We might have to fight them.”
“But there are so many,” said Haru. “We should retreat for now.”
“I don’t know if we can,” said Futaba. “I can sense more coming from behind.”
Yusuke looked through the back window. “You’re right… I can see them coming.”
Akira clenched his jaw. Then, in the next moment, he opened Morgana’s door with his dagger in hand.
“I’ll distract them,” he said, “you guys get out of here.”
Ryuji quickly stood up, following him. “I’m with you, Joker.”
Akira nodded. “We’ll meet you in the next safe area.”
“Alright,” said Makoto, “be careful!”
Before Yusuke could even think of accompanying them, they had already jumped into that horde. Morgana closed his door, then drove away.
Yusuke looked in their direction, watching as they fought back to back, until Morgana took a turn and they disappeared from view. Worry weighed in his chest, but there was nothing he could do now, except wait for them to return safely. He only realized he continued to stare through the back window when a gentle touch on his shoulder brought him back from his thoughts.
“Don’t worry,” said Haru. “They’ll be back to us soon.”
Ann nodded. “You know how tough they are.”
“Indeed.”
With a small sigh, Yusuke sat with his back straight. In no time, they reached the safe area, disembarking from Morgana and sitting down to rest as they waited.
The first few minutes passed with some light conversation, which slowly died down as ten minutes became fifteen, and then twenty.
“It’s taking them quite a while, isn’t it?” Ann was the first to voice their thoughts.
Makoto nodded. “They’re on foot, so that makes sense.”
“Shouldn’t we try to meet them halfway?” asked Yusuke.
“But what if we miss each other?” said Futaba. “It’ll be hard to navigate properly in this weather.” She clicked her tongue. “Stupid rain…”
“Let’s give them a few more minutes,” said Morgana. “Fifteen sounds like enough, doesn’t it?”
“Yes,” Haru agreed. “Fifteen minutes, then.”
But each minute seemed to pass more slowly than the last. A strong restlessness took Yusuke’s body as he waited. And waited. And waited.
How had only three minutes passed? It felt like much more. And, if it felt like too long to him, he couldn’t even imagine what those two were going through. He should have gone with them. If only he had reacted quicker, like Ryuji did… Maybe the strength of another person would make all the difference in that battle. Why hadn’t he jumped out of that car when he had the chance?
Five minutes passed. What if one of them got hurt? Or worse, what if they both were incapacitated in battle? No, he shouldn’t think such horrible thoughts… He knew how capable the leader and charge commander of the Phantom Thieves were, especially when fighting together. There was no reason to worry… They would be back soon.
Seven minutes passed, and the heavy silence didn’t help Yusuke control his thoughts. He couldn’t help but think of how many shadows were surrounding his friends when they left. As strong as they were, could they hope to face or flee from such a huge group? Images of them injured passed through his mind, despite how hard he tried to keep them away.
Close to ten minutes passed before a figure came up the escalator, making everyone look at him.
“Joker!”
They rushed to his side, while Akira did the same to meet them. Morgana hugged his leg, and Futaba patted his head, while Makoto checked him for injuries. It was a nice moment of relief, which only lasted until Yusuke realized there wasn’t someone else following Joker into that safe area.
“Where is Skull?” he asked.
The cheerful atmosphere seemed to freeze.
“We got separated…” Akira glanced around, the smile fading from his face. “He isn’t here yet?”
“No,” said Ann. “We thought you were together.”
Akira shook his head, looking down the escalator. As if expecting him to rush back down, Haru placed a hand on his shoulder.
“He might be on his way,” said Haru. “Joker just arrived, so maybe he’ll come soon.”
“We still have five minutes to get to fifteen,” said Makoto. “Let’s wait a while longer.”
Akira reluctantly agreed. They accompanied him to the benches, while Futaba entered her Persona, using it to try to locate Ryuji, sometimes allowing a low, frustrated curse to escape from her lips.
A thousand thoughts went through Yusuke’s mind, all at once: all those times he and Ryuji had spent together after their classes, something that became so natural he took for granted. As he became closer to Ryuji, he came to believe they would always be together like that, and never once questioned the possibility of something going wrong.
His stomach turned. He couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing his face, or never hearing his voice again. And the worst part was knowing that he had never told Ryuji how important he was to him. Yusuke hadn’t had many close friends in his life before he met the Phantom Thieves; and, even among them, Ryuji was the closest one, the one he would trust without a second thought. If something happened to him before Yusuke even had the chance to properly voice those feelings…
He couldn’t bear the thought. Why was he still waiting for him to come back? Yusuke closed his fingers around the grip of his katana.
“I’ll go after him.”
“No, Fox!” said Morgana. “We shouldn’t get separated again.”
“And what if he doesn’t come back?”
“Then we’ll all go search for him together,” Morgana insisted.
“But he might need our assistance now!”
Yusuke’s voice was louder than usual, which surprised his friends and himself. He lowered his eyes, tightening his grip on his weapon. He might be hurt. He might be dying. How can everyone stay so calm?
“I’m going,” he repeated in a lower voice.
There was a touch on his back. Yusuke raised his head, seeing Akira right beside him.
“I agree with Fox,” he said. “There were a lot of shadows after us. If he hasn’t come back yet, then something might have gone wrong.”
Ann nodded. “Should one of us stay here in case he appears?”
“Maybe it would be for the best.” Makoto ran her eyes through the group. “Does anyone volunteer?”
No one did.
“That’s not surprising.” She sighed, then looked at Akira. “Joker, you’re still tired from the battle, aren’t you?”
“What?” Akira stared at her. “I’m going with you!”
“Don’t worry, we’ll find him,” said Haru. “Just try to recover in the meantime.”
Akira scowled. “I’m going.”
“Joker, please,” said Morgana. “We can’t let you fight like this.”
“Can’t we decide this quicker?” asked Ann.
The sound of their voices, the cold feeling spreading through his blood, his heart thumping against his chest, his mind flooded with images of worst-case scenarios. While they argued, Ryuji could be getting hurt, or worse.
At his limit, Yusuke stepped away from the group, toward the escalator. “I’m going ahead.”
“You can’t go alone.” Makoto held his arm. “If you get lost or injured, it will only worsen the situation.”
“But we are wasting time!” Yusuke retorted. “If anything happens to him, I…”
I would never forgive myself. I would never move on from it. I wouldn’t be able to keep on living a normal life. I would regret every single day all the time I didn’t spend with him. All the things I didn’t do for him. All the words I didn’t tell him. Every single time I didn’t make him feel as loved as he is.
He had to find Ryuji, no matter the cost.
“Wait!”
Futaba’s voice made the others look toward Necronomicon.
“I can feel an incredibly stupid presence approaching!” she added, her words hinting at a smile.
“Now that you said it…” Morgana closed his eyes, focusing. He let out a small, relieved laugh. “Yes… It’s really annoying and dumb.”
Yusuke’s heart jumped with a hope he was afraid to feel, at least until he finally heard that beloved voice as he came up the escalator.
“Hey, guys!” Ryuji waved at them with a wide smile. “Sorry for making you wait!”
The air seemed to become lighter, and for a moment Yusuke thought his legs would give out under him. Akira was the first to rush to Ryuji’s side, throwing an arm around his neck and ruffling his hair.
“You better be!” Ann yelled, poking Ryuji’s cheek. “Do you know how worried we were?”
Their reactions made Ryuji laugh. “My bad, my bad…”
Yusuke could only watch them, frozen in place. He is here…
“Seriously, Skull?” Morgana groaned, lightly kicking his shin. “You can’t just my bad your way out of this!”
Ryuji pouted. “Can’t you guys be nicer for once?”
“We’re so glad you’re fine,” said Haru, rubbing his back. “We were all so worried about you.”
He is alive.
“Are you hurt anywhere?” asked Makoto.
Ryuji shook his head. “Nah, just tired.”
“That’s our Skull!” Futaba, now out of Necronomicon, lightly punched his arm. “The tank of the Phantom Thieves never disappoints!”
He is back at my side.
“Nice one, partner!” Akira grinned. “I knew you’d make it!”
“C’mon, Joker…” Futaba stared at him. “You and Fox were one second away from—”
Yusuke’s legs finally moved, and he rushed toward Ryuji without another thought, grabbing him as tightly as he could, holding him close to his chest so he wouldn’t disappear once again.
He is here. He is here. He is here.
“Fox…?” Ryuji called him.
Instead of responding, Yusuke tightened his embrace. He felt Ryuji’s hand on his head, lightly patting it.
“Hey, dude… It’s okay.”
His voice, his warmth… They were real.
“You’re back,” Yusuke murmured.
“Yeah…” A low chuckle from Ryuji. “Sorry for worrying you.”
Yusuke moved slightly away, looking at that familiar, dear face. As soon as their eyes met, relief washed over him and a strong impulse took his entire body, compelling him to lean forward and close his eyes, covering Ryuji’s lips with his in a soft kiss.
For no more than two seconds, his mind was full of nothing but the thought that Ryuji was there, safe, close to him. But then, the surprised gasps from his companions made Yusuke finally understand what he was doing. He opened his eyes, only to see Ryuji staring wide-eyed at him. Surprised by his own actions, Yusuke pulled away from him.
“My apologies,” he said.
“No, I… Uh…”
Ryuji’s mouth opened and closed, but nothing more than low mumbles left it. Yusuke looked from him to the others, who stared at them with expressions frozen in shock.
“Oh, my,” said Haru, bringing a hand to her mouth.
Yusuke lowered his eyes, unsure of what to do next. In fact, he couldn’t even understand why he had done something like that so suddenly.
No, that was a lie… He simply had never given a name to that faint urge, and the slight longing that accompanied him whenever he was with Ryuji. But as soon as he faced the possibility of losing him, it all had finally become clear in his mind.
He was in love. That feeling, which had always felt like a distant idealization, was now like a sphere of warmth inside his chest, making his heart beat so fast it hurt. He was in love… He was so deeply in love he had no idea what to do about it.
“So, hm…” Morgana looked at Akira after some long seconds of silence, whispering. “Should we say something?”
“Well… We’ll just wait…” Akira gestured at somewhere in the opposite direction. “Right over there. Right?”
“Right!” Ann grinned. “Take your time.”
“All the time you need!” added Futaba, waving her hands. “No rush at all!”
Makoto shushed them, and soon the group moved away, entering the transformed Morgana while Yusuke and Ryuji stayed behind. They sat side by side on one of the benches, staying silent for what felt like a long while.
“I apologize for my actions,” said Yusuke, finally. “When I saw you safe, my body acted on its own.”
Ryuji watched him through the corner of his eye. “Were you that worried?”
“More than you can possibly imagine.”
“My bad.” Ryuji brought a hand to his neck. “I tried to come as quickly as I could.”
Yusuke faced him. He didn’t blame Ryuji for it, but as he tried to turn that thought into words, their meaning changed on his tongue.
“If I lost you, I don’t know what I would do.”
Those words, at least, earned him a slight smile from Ryuji. “I’m here, though.”
Yusuke nodded, but a vestige of that fear still lingered in his chest. “Will you always be here with me?”
A low, nervous laugh left Ryuji’s lips. “If that’s what you want…”
“More than anything.”
Ryuji looked at him, and the sight made Yusuke raise his hand, lightly touching his cheek—first to confirm he really was there; then, to feel his warmth against his palm.
“You’re pretty close,” said Ryuji.
Only then did Yusuke notice he was slowly leaning forward. Instead of moving away, however, he spoke in a low voice, “I might want to get even closer.”
Ryuji didn’t respond immediately, thinking for a moment.
“Hey…” He hesitated briefly. “Can I take this as you saying you like me?”
Yusuke shook his head. “More than that. I might be in love with you.”
“Oh…”
A bright red color covered Ryuji’s skin, in an unexpectedly endearing sight.
“Is there any chance you might come to feel the same about me?” asked Yusuke.
Ryuji averted his gaze. “Actually… I think I already do.”
The answer was surprising. “Do you?”
“Yeah. I think so…” He chuckled nervously. “Never been in love before, so I can only guess.”
A slight smile took Yusuke’s lips. “That makes it two of us, then.”
“So… That means you’ve got no idea what to do, either?”
“Precisely.” Yusuke considered it for a moment longer. “But I know I want to stay close to you.”
Instead of responding with words, Ryuji faced him. He leaned forward, placing a light peck on Yusuke’s lips, then rested his forehead on Yusuke’s shoulder, letting out a long sigh.
“Y’know…” he murmured. “While I was there, fighting and running for my life, I kept thinking about you.”
“Me?”
“Yeah. That I still owe you that beef bowl I promised.”
“Is this what you were worried about?”
“Silly, right?” Ryuji laughed, but soon went silent again, continuing in a lower voice. “But I guess… What I really wanted was to be with you again. Like always.”
His words made Yusuke’s heart jump. Ryuji looked at him, and if either of them meant to say another word, it got lost the moment their eyes met. They kissed again, and this time, while still slightly hesitant, it lasted longer. When their lips parted, Ryuji smiled at him, then rested his head on Yusuke’s shoulder, letting out his breath as he stretched out his bad leg.
“Does it hurt?” asked Yusuke.
“Yeah,” Ryuji admitted. “Only realized it now that I’ve stopped running.”
Yusuke lowered his eyes to his leg. “Can you walk in this state? Would you like me to accompany you home?”
“I’ll be fine.” Ryuji paused for just a moment. “But… You can still come if you want to.”
The invitation brought a smile to Yusuke’s lips. “I will, then.”
Without thinking, Yusuke placed a hand on his knee. Ryuji then placed his hand over Yusuke’s, caressing it with his thumb.
“This feels kinda nice, doesn’t it?” asked Ryuji.
Yusuke smiled, intertwining their fingers. “Indeed.”
So nice that Yusuke’s body soon started to relax close to him. He knew their friends were waiting, and that they would have to leave soon, but for that brief moment, he allowed himself to enjoy that new kind of proximity between them—and now that he finally understood how precious it was to him, he would never take it for granted again.