Chapter Text
Alexander was already tired, as he had endless plans on his mind. But little Philip, his first born, was his reason, his motivation, for him to work harder, ignoring any type of breaks his brain could ever think of. He couldn’t imagine that after his son was born, his self confidence would be broken. That his son would make him question his abilities of being a strong, smart, one of a kind man, who took his work seriously, falter.
He felt a real reason for the world to change. He couldn’t let Philip grow with their young nation the way it was. An independent country didn’t really mean that all the bleeding and fighting was already over in his life. Philip’s world should be safe and sound as long as he was there for him.
He remembers that when he fought in the battle of Yorktown, he could feel that it was close enough to achieve the beginning of his hopes for the country. At least his plan was going as it should. Philip meant a new beginning. How come he controlled his emotions with no need for a real move? The infant only needed to smile,and he was already making Mr.Hamilton fall on his knees and feel weak.
A grown ass man could start to tear up just because of how cute mini Philip was. A small habit that Alex now had was gathering the small and new member of the Hamilton family on his arms and not only venting about previous events of his life, but also speaking with him as if he could understand the future plans his father had for their country.
It was a cute moment, because somehow it would bring a giant smile to the baby’s face. He even seemed as focused as a soldier waiting for his superior’s instructions in war. The older one still couldn't believe how grand the power of the little creature that came out of his wife’s belly was , how adorable and precious he was. He was almost as bright as the morning sun.
Eliza smiled with how her husband could be so found with their baby. She would let Alexander handle the job of putting their first born to sleep, yet she would always check how he was handling it.
Alexander would speak of his various adventures, but in the end, when Philip was almost asleep, he would clarify some things for him after a deep breath.
—”Oh, Philip, when you smile I am undone..My son.. “— He would place his hand on the baby’s face. —”Look at my son.. Pride is not the word I'm looking for. There is so much more inside me now.. “
After being in silence, he would promise things with greater words, something he would be sure of doing with the hope of making them true . — "You see..Philip.. My father wasn't around but I swear that I'll be around for you.. I'll do whatever it takes, I'll make a million mistakes..We'll make it right for you.. If we lay a strong enough foundation. We'll pass it on to you, we'll give the world to you. And you'll blow us all away.. Someday, someday..Yeah, you'll blow us all away..”
Hamilton lowered the little chubby baby on the cradle so he could finally sleep on the comfy white sheets. Philip lets out a happy sleepy noise before falling asleep, assuring Mr.Hamilton that the little one is okay while he takes his nap. . But suddenly, when Alexander takes off his glasses, he stands up and feels shivers running down his spine from a cold breeze. Up until then, it seemed unimportant. He couldn't care less. But how did that inappropriate sensation occur, since there were no windows open? It didn't last long, but he almost suspected that his son's hair was messed up from it.
He hears a subtle footsteps approaching the bedroom door. He stops in place and turns around, it was his wife, Elizabeth. Or, ‘’Eliza’’ for short. She looked at him and offered a small smile, yet he had turned his back to her, too focused on watching the calm breathing of his sleeping son. He couldn’t see it how tense his wife was. He turned to face her, she was wearing her nightgown, like usual, but she didn't come for a hug? Didn't call him for them to lay bed, in each other arms? That was odd. Before he could even ask her if she was alright, she spoke up.
—”Alexander, there's a letter for you from South Carolina.. “—She said, her voice tired but clear.
He froze almost instantly as he felt that same cold breeze from earlier. He looked down thoughtfully for a bit, remembering about the letters that John Laurens, his "best friend" had not yet answered. He admitted that he was a little irritated by this behavior of the other. So, he answered quickly, knowing that Eliza did not feel comfortable with this topic. She always seemed to be one foot behind when the subject was “Laurens”. So he answered her quickly.
—” It's from John Laurens, I'll read it later.”
Eliza answered in a hurry, almost cutting her husband while he spoke.
— “No, it 's not. It is from his father…”
She responds quietly, apprehensively. That was strange, but it shouldn't be anything serious, right?
— “Will you read it for me?”—He requests softly.
She nods firmly and in a matter of seconds, she begins to read the letter. The air feels strange, off. Even his wife seems a little off.
—“On Tuesday, the twenty-seventh,my son was killed in a gunfight against British troops in South Carolina. These troops had not received word from Yorktown that the war was over.’’ — Eliza continued to read, but he was already in shock. He couldn’t believe it was true. It was an evil joke played on him, he thought. He paid attention to her words. — “ As you may know, John dreamed of emancipating three thousand men for the first all-black military regiment. His dream of freedom for these men dies with him. “
He stood there, still unable to comprehend that it was real. It was painful. Laurens' death was a devastating blow to Hamilton, who had seen him as a close friend and confidant. He begun to wonder how he had interpreted the nature of war, life and death, and even what he was doing for his legacy. Laurens was certainly one of the most important people to him.
In disbelief, he turned to look at Philip sleeping, holding back tears as his mind ran a mile per hour. He could almost see a faint figure of the recently deceased caressing Philip carefully. He shivered again, could it have been him, Laurens? It couldn't be. Ghosts aren’t real. It was just a bad way to react to the news, he thought.
He wipes his eyes as his mind wanders to the image of a young Laurens with a bright smile, hungry for revolution and with the dream of conquering everything alongside Alexander. That made him smile quickly, before Eliza forced him out of his own mind by placing her hand on his shoulder, her eyes oh so full of worry.
—”Alexander, are you alright?”
It a stupid question to ask, but he wasn't going to answer her rudely. Se wasn't at fault. He didn't even know what he was feeling anymore. Maybe it was emptiness. But for that feeling to fade away, he needed to find a way to distract himself, to console himself and not make him think too much about the sentimental mess he didn't have time for.
— “Keep an eye on our little sunshine for now, okay? I have so much work to do.."
He had already removed Eliza's hand from his shoulder, looking at her almost uncomfortably so, which made her give him more space as she moved to approach their son's crib. Eliza softly smiled at the sight of Philip asleep as Alexander quickly left the boy's room.
Hamilton could feel as if his friend was still here with him. He could almost see John laughing and almost dancing enthusiastically like he always did, as he headed to his office. How could such tragedy happen? It was a pain in Alex’s chest. At least he hoped that his friend was now at peace.
Alexander sits by his desk and randomly starts to hear a familiar voice, probably just exhaustion. He could hear John’s voice. He could also feel a cold transparent being touching his back, just like Laurens would do constantly when he was still alive.
—"Alex.. you shouldn’t be working now. Go rest. I know it is hard to grasp.. and that you also can’t hear me, but please.. go to sleep."
His eyes widened even more, because it certainly wasn't true that he could see and hear his death friend, he must be going crazy.
—"It must be a joke. Is it real or can I actually see you, John? Don’t play with me.
—"As far as i know, you shouldn’t. But.. hey..! It can also be known that you should be in bed. I wish i could've met your son, he really seems like he will be hungry for victory like you. That he will chase his beliefs. That he will be a good man, and will make you proud. I will watch him from right here. But i will also be watching you. Don’t forget what we promised to each other, only difference is that it will be just from your side, because, oh, well.. I’m dead."
—"I really should go to sleep, this isn’t true. I am going insane, for sure." — He stands up while putting distance between him and the ghostly figure, making his way to his and Eliza's room. But before closing the door, he looks at the supposed spirit of Laurens and speaks, a small gigge escaping him. —"Independently.. I will see you on the other side, my dearest Laurens.."
Laurens watches him go, but he would stay here, surely. He knew he was dead. Hamilton didn’t seem to believe that he was here with him, but fine. He had enough time for that. Or would John just surround his friend as he works endless nights like he always did? Only time would tell.
John sighs, bored. So, he goes again to little Philip’s room. Philip couldn't hear him, he was just going there to make sure the little one was having a good night. He loved playing with the boy’s hair. Somehow it would remind himself of his old curly and fluffy hair, even if he didn’t have too much hair yet to compare. That was a reason to make Laurens laugh, of course.
— "I really hope that you can grant your father some peace of mind. I can only hope that you will share at least a fraction of his smile and his mind. Don’t worry, he will be great for you. He will really try, at least."