Chapter Text
TRENDING TOPICS
1. HEAVENLYCUCUMBER
2. LUO BINGHE SIMP
3. HAUGHTY ETERNAL FIENDS PATH
4. HEAVENLY DEMON
5. CUCUMBER BRO
6. DIANXIA BACK
7. HEAVENLY DEMON CANCELLED
8. PHASMOPHOBIA
9. HOUSEHUSBAND LUO BINGHE
10. YUNMENG TRIO NEW VIDEO
See more…
Shang Qinghua:
hey
so
this is kinda awkward
but i figure we’re gonna be working together a lot in the future
so
hi?
Mobei-Jun:
Yes.
Shang Qinghua:
…
okay lol
so
not a talker huh
that’s fine
well
ig lemme send u cucumbers blocklist so far
and then u can send me luo binghes
and we can work together
Mobei-Jun:
Alright.
There seems to be multiple trolls in Cucumber_Bro’s chat.
Do you not pay attention?
Shang Qinghua:
UM
ok so
first of all rude
second of all i’m not a bad mod
sometimes sy likes to be mean to chat
its enrichment for him ok
he’s a weirdo
if i ban the trolls that aren’t outright weird he gets mad
Mobei-Jun:
That seems inefficient.
Shang Qinghua:
its ridiculous
but he did get famous by BEING a troll himself
and he is pretty funny sometimes
don’t tell him i said that tho
i cant let him know i find him funny
it shows weakness
Mobei-Jun:
The block list?
Shang Qinghua:
RIGHT
ok one sec
[Screenshot_72641]
Shang Qinghua:
LMFAOOOOO
DID U SEE TRENDING TODAY
Shen Yuan:
I did, what the fuck is up with that
Binghe was obviously just joking around
No need for everyone to go apeshit
Shang Qinghua:
LMAOOOOOO
absolutely not
can u imagine simping like that on main and it NOT being real
dude wants to bone u
Shen Yuan:
I am not talking about this
And especially not to you
Shang Qinghua:
who else WOULD u talk to abt this bro
its just me
but fine ill let u live
anyways lbhs mod is an asshole
Shen Yuan:
Ice King?
He’s always seemed very professional to me
Never talks in chat
Shang Qinghua:
are u trying to tell me something cucumber bro???
Shen Yuan:
No!
If I had a problem with the way you ran stream I would tell you
Shang Qinghua:
THANK YOU.
thats what i told him
what a dick
Shen Yuan:
Who?
Shang Qinghua:
fuckin mobei-jun
im gonna cyberstalk him
Shen Yuan:
Why are you trying to cause problems on purpose
Shang Qinghua:
IM NOT
im just curious
i decided i hate this guy and now i gotta find a legitimate reason
…
…
…
OH NO HE’S HOT
Shen Yuan:
I hate you.
I hope when you stalk him on Instagram you like one of his pictures from four years ago.
Shang Qinghua:
BRO!??!?!?!!
UR SO EVIL
Chapter Text
Shen Yuan: Jiu-ge, did you get banned from TikTok AGAIN
Shen Jiu: I don't know what you're talking about.
A TikTok duet plays on a phone screen. The original video is a young man in front of a blackboard, pictures of Shen Yuan, Luo Binghe, and their streamer profiles all connected through red yarn. He says, "I think I've cracked the case. Heavenlycucumber have been secretly dating for three years—"
The video cuts off as the duet plays. It is Shen Jiu, incredibly close to the camera. He is visibly furious. His username is ShenJiu17. He only says two words before stopping the video. "Kill yourself."
When attempting to click on ShenJiu17, it reads that the account is unable to be found.
Shen Yuan: YOU CAN'T JUST TELL PEOPLE TO KILL THEMSELVES ON THE INTERNET
THIS IS WHY YOU'RE ON ACCOUNT SEVENTEEN
Shen Jiu: I can, I will, I am.
Look, I just did it again.
Shen Yuan: Jiu-ge, PLEASE
It's just a meme at this point!! It's not like Luo Binghe would ever even be interested in me, it's harmless fun
Shen Jiu: That's what you think.
He has evil intentions.
I can read him like a book. He has absolutely rancid energy.
Do better.
No, really, you can do better. Kick him to the curb.
In fact, just block him and publicly shame him.
Shen Yuan: I'm telling Qi-ge.
Shen Jiu: It's funny you think he doesn't already know. Who do you think helps me make the new accounts?
Shen Yuan: STOP TELLING PEOPLE TO KILL THEMSELVES
Shen Jiu: Fine.
Another TikTok plays. It's a duet of another Heavenlycucumber shipper. The video pauses as Shen Jiu pops up again. All he does is look at the camera for a few seconds with an incredibly disgusted face. Somehow, it's more cutting than any other TikTok he's ever made. The account name is ShenJiu29.

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