Chapter Text
“Look,” March 7th started, placing down her bag of trash beside her. “All I’m saying is, if we had something to clean and dust up around here automatically, we wouldn’t have nearly as much on our duty load! Imagine how much free time we’d have then!”
Dan Heng sighed as he pushed one of the Parlor Car’s couches to the side, picking up some trash from behind it. He places it in his bag before turning to address March. “While it could potentially help, you do realize cleaning up trash is only a small part of our chore duties, right? If there’s no trash to clean up, that time would probably get replaced by washing some dishes, or reorganizing some important resources.”
March pouts, crossing her arms. “Then, clearly, we just need to get robots to do all of our chores! Somehow…” She looks towards Stelle, currently tying up her bag of trash. “Back me up, Stelle! Imagine how much time we could spend eating sweets in Belobog!”
Stelle, hauling her trash bag over her shoulder, looks towards her friend and chuckles. “I mean, I don’t think I mind all too much. It’s fun getting to spend time with everyone doing chores like this.”
“Oh yeah?” March begins to retort. “I bet you only feel that way because, out of all of us, you’re the one who’s constantly obsessed over trash.”
“Well, I mean, that is a bonus to it, obviously.” Stelle comments, walking towards the small pile of trash bags in the corner
“I was joking!” March sighs as she begins tying up her bag. “I swear, you have some kind of trash addiction, and it’s way too unhealthy. Mentally AND physically!”
She couldn’t help but smile as she made her way across the car. The three trailblazers had been hard at work performing their Express Duties for the day. Of course, it wasn’t anything too eventful, but it still meant something to Stelle. Sure, they all got to spend time together during their trailblaze missions, but there would always be someone who couldn’t make it for whatever reason, not that it was their fault, of course. These moments where they just spent the day working around the express together were both a break from all the chaos and time to spend with each other, even if it was chore work.
She could hear her two friends talking in the background. Despite all that had happened there, March was ranting about how much she was already missing Penacony. Dan Heng was commenting about how it wouldn’t be too long before they jumped to Amphoreus, and that she should take care of anything here before she regretted it. It was only small talk, bantering, maybe even bickering if looked at from the right angle. But it never upset Stelle one bit; she’d rather the Express be loud and noisy than quiet and empty.
But thoughts of their time spent together slowly came to a halt. Before she could adequately react, she could feel her mind begin to cloud over. Whatever she had just been thinking about slowly faded in the fog, as a feeling of lightheadedness encroached over her mind and body. Losing track of what was around her, Stelle felt as the trash bag slipped right out of her hands, dropping to the ground below. She put a hand to her head, catching herself as her body began to stumble, almost falling over in the process. Though she can see the world around her, it felt distant, far away from her grasp. She could hear the sound of muffled voices, probably Dan Heng and March still talking to each other.
This was fine. She knew how to handle this.
Stelle reorganized herself, taking note of her ragged breathing. She put a hand to her chest to calm herself down. This was only a brief moment of fog; she knew it would clear, and how to clear it even faster.
As quickly as it had taken over, she could feel the fog begin to leave her mind. It was still there, still prevalent, but it was enough for her to be able to think clearly again. But what she had been thinking about, what she had been doing, it was all gone in the blink of an eye. It felt like those memories had turned into sand, there one moment, and slipping through her fingers the next. And as she returned to her senses, she could feel someone put a hand on her shoulder. Blinking away the haze as much as she could, she turned to see–
“Stelle,” Dan Heng, gently trying to keep her steady. The bag he had been filling up moments earlier was left on the couch he had been standing next to. It was evident from how he looked at her that he was concerned. “Is everything alright? You suddenly dropped your bag and weren’t responding to either me or March.”
Stelle looked beside Dan Heng, seeing March standing right next to him, with the same concerned look plastered on her face. “I-I’m fine, sorry about that.” Grunting, she quickly shook her head and reoriented herself the best she could, standing to face her two friends. “I just got a bit dizzy, that's all, and… uhm…” She pauses momentarily, looking at her feet for the bag Dan Heng had mentioned. That’s right; the three of them were in the middle of chore duties at the time. They were working together to clean out the Parlor Car, that’s all. Spotting it at her feet, she leaned down to pick it up, only to find herself being stopped by March, who grabbed her shoulder. She stopped, finding herself compelled to look at her friend instead of trying to look away.
“Stelle, are you sure?” She asked, her voice just as concerned as Dan Heng’s was. “It’s not like I don’t trust you or anything, just…” She paused, her expression briefly downcast, before looking back up towards Stelle. “It wasn’t just once or twice, we were repeating your name over and over, and you just… stood there, like you couldn’t hear us.”
Stelle couldn’t help but keep staring at March. The tone in her voice and her concern for her was enough to touch her soul. She returned March’s concern with a smile before speaking. “It’s nothing that bad, I promise.” She leaned back up, March still keeping a slight hold on her. “I just couldn’t sleep well enough last night, that’s it. You two know how that is, right?”
Hearing Stelle's response and snapping back immediately, March's concern turned more towards assertiveness. “And what exactly were you doing staying up so late! You know that can’t be good for you.”
“I know, I know,” Stelle responded, rubbing her hand behind her head, “It wasn’t intentional or anything, I promise. I just couldn’t get sleepy or comfortable enough, so I ended up eating some snacks until I was drowsy. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry either of you too much.” She made sure to smile, doing her best to ease both of her friends’ worries.
Both of them looked at her, clearly still worried about her well-being. There was an uncomfortable silence in the air before Dan Heng spoke up.
“Regardless of how it started, it’s more than evident that you need a break.” He bent downwards, picking up the bag of trash Stelle had collected. “I propose you let the two of us handle the cleaning for now. You can ask Shush for some water and rest in the Party Car. We should manage well enough on our own. How does that sound?”
Stelle almost retorted, ‘There’s no need, I should be fine,’ but stopped herself. She could still feel the haze in her mind lingering over her thoughts. As much as she wanted to keep going, she was willing to admit that she needed a breather at this point.
“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll be back after I have something to drink. I don’t want to leave either of you doing my load of work here.” She did her best to reorient herself before approaching the party car. She stopped briefly, however, as she turned back to the two with a grin. “But uh, maybe keep all the trash out instead of throwing it–”
“We’re not gonna let you rummage through trash right now, you dummy!” March protested, Stelle chuckling as she exited the Parlor Car.
The two trailblazers stood silently, looking towards the Party Car’s entrance. Though Stelle’s last comment did lighten the mood, the lingering feelings in the air were unmistakable. March was the first to break the silence.
“So… we can’t really keep saying there’s nothing wrong with her, right?” She asked Dan Heng, “That’s like, what, the third time she’s made that excuse, or something? Are we sure she’s just been staying up late at this point?”
Dan Heng put a hand to his chin, pondering briefly before addressing the photographer. “We can’t be too sure, I know I’ve had weeks where I haven’t been able to get much sleep.”
“Well, yeah, but that’s usually because you’re up all night studying in the archives, right? And even then, it never got to the point where you were stumbling and spacing out.” March retorted, crossing her arms. “Plus, this is Stelle we’re talking about. I know she’s stayed up late before, like in Belobog, but she’s usually the one sleeping in.” Dang Heng goes silent, acknowledging to March that he does agree with her. She irritatingly scratches her hand against the back of her head. “I just– I wish she would just tell us what’s going on already!”
Dan Heng puts a hand on her shoulder, doing his best to calm her down. “You and I both agree on that, but whatever Stelle is dealing with, we can’t force her to say. You remember how long it took me to open up to the Express, don’t you?” March raises her voice, almost to protest, but stops, recognizing the sense in Dan Heng’s words. “We need to trust her to come to us about this, or at least ensure she knows we’ll always be there for her.”
March sighs, chuckling as she looks at Dan Heng. “You know, you’re starting to sound like Mr. Yang more and more every day.” Dan Heng coughs as he briefly looks away from her. “... You’re right, though. But if she almost falls over again, we are definitely going to have a word about this with her. I don’t wanna see her hurt herself in an accident.”
Dan Heng looks back, nodding in agreement. “In the meantime, though, we should ensure the Parlor Car is properly cleaned up. She said she would only be there for a moment, but I’d rather Stelle have a moment to rest properly. Let’s ensure we get this done while we can, or else Pom-Pom will likely scold us to no end.”
March frantically nods, heading back towards her bag of trash to finish up their cleaning. Though she briefly looks toward the Party Car entrance, thoughts of how Stelle was still plaguing her mind.
As Stelle walked towards one of the sofas in the corner, she could still overhear Shush trying to tell her some awful joke over the counter. It could be irritating, but there was no denying that his bad jokes could make her day sometimes, or even give her some ideas for her dad jokes. Today wasn’t really one of those days, though.
Slinking around the corner, Stelle finds a seat just out of view from Shush, but close enough to the door in case someone walked into the car. She leaned to sit down, but felt as the haze in her mind suddenly grew over her again, causing her to collapse into the cushions. The stumble almost causes her to drop the glass of water prepared for her by Shush, but she manages to remain steady enough to keep that from happening. She could feel that fog encroaching over her thoughts again, just as it did moments earlier. The only difference now was that she had prepared herself as best as she could for this.
Stelle closed her eyes, doing her best to calm her breathing and focus on the world around her: The cushions of the sofa she had collapsed on, the voice of Shush roaming behind the counter, and the faint sounds of the Astral Express trekking across the stars outside. She put a hand to her chest, feeling as she took a deep breath in, and a long sigh out, her body weight sinking further into the mattress. As she opened her eyes, the haze and fog had lifted back to the state they were in before. Fragments of it remained, of course, but it was nothing she couldn’t handle.
She raised the glass to her lips, the ice-cold liquid passing down her throat with ease. She set the glass down on the table before her, looking up towards the car's ceiling. Knowing she was alone with her thoughts, she couldn’t help but whisper what was on her mind aloud.
“... It’s okay. It’s all gonna be okay. You’ll be through this soon enough.”
Stelle already knew it wasn’t a lack of sleep that caused these spells of dizziness or forgetfulness. Although it was true that she had been having trouble sleeping, that itself wouldn’t be enough to cause this. Those nights were merely a byproduct of the real cause.
She could still remember the first time it hit, when her mind became clouded and she couldn’t think straight. It was when she and Firefly had been caught off guard by Sparkle, when they were sent to the Dreamscape Hotel in Penacony. At the time, she thought it was just her mind and body still getting used to the dreamscape, in combination with the events that led the two there in the first place. But the longer she spent on Penacony, the more she experienced those spells of dizziness.
Whenever she entered the Golden Hour. Whenever she delved deeper into the Dreamscape Hotel or Dreamflux Reef. And especially then, when she had to watch as Firefly was…
She felt as though those sensations seemed to escalate the longer she was exposed to the Dreamscape. It eventually extended to moments of forgetfulness, occurring much more frequently during the Express’s bouts with Sunday.
Stelle had connected the dots all the way back then, and it was thanks to something Pom-Pom had mentioned about Memoria, the basis the Dreamscape was made from. About how people could experience dizziness and memory issues simply by being exposed to it, especially if they’re susceptible to Memoria. Along with the fact that she happened to be one of those people, there was no doubt that the events had to be related.
Under normal circumstances, she would have told everyone else immediately. She would have mentioned she wasn’t feeling well or needed some time to rest before they continued. But Penacony was an experience where those moments rarely ever came, especially when they uncovered the truth about Sunday and the Order. Minor spells of fatigue and hazy memories just didn’t seem nearly as important as working to save as many people from an endless dream. And outside of that…
Stelle looked towards the door connecting to the Parlor Car, reminiscing about her time with Dan Heng and March. Their times of reprieve and joy, but also moments of each of them facing their own problems and individual challenges. She could imagine Ms. Himeko and Mr. Yang having their own set of issues as well.
Her bond with the Express had grown into something she cherished; a bond almost akin to something familial. She could easily picture Mr. Yang and Ms. Himeko as the parents, and her, March, and Dan Heng as siblings. Though it was funny to think about, these bonds were ones that meant more to Stelle than anything else.
And it was because of that that she knew how important some things were to each of them. It’s not that she doesn’t trust them; there’s nothing that could ever cause that to happen. She just didn’t want to worry any of them with something like this, something that would probably pass after a day… or two… or three now.
She knew her limits. She’s fought against countless beings by this point, she’s strove to protect as many people as she can, she’s a Nameless through and through. Something like this wouldn’t be enough to bring her to her knees.
Drinking the rest of her water, Stelle set the empty glass on the table before her, letting out a long sigh. Though it would always hit hard, a glass of water would always help clear her mind. She felt as the weights on her body finally lifted, any discomfort ebbing away along with it. That was probably the cue that she had rested enough; she didn’t want to keep March and Dan Heng waiting any longer. Stretching her arms and legs, she slowly began sitting up from the–
Interrupting her thoughts, Stelle’s phone suddenly started buzzing in her pocket. Curious and wanting to check now while she still had the chance, she unlocked her phone and immediately sat up in her chair in excitement. The notifications were from her messaging app, specifically from Firefly, mentioning their plans for tomorrow. She quickly opened her Messenger chat, reading through the messages Firefly sent her.
[Image Transcript is as follows]
Firefly: Hey, just wanted to send you an update.
Firefly: Silver Wolf and I were able to get the hologram projector working properly!
Firefly: Everything should be ready for the two of us to spend time together tomorrow!
Stelle: [Thumbs up Pom-Pom]
Stelle: That’s Great!
Firefly: You got permission from everyone aboard for me to be there, right?
Stelle: Everyone knows, don't worry.
Stelle: They're all okay with it, thanks to the brief time they got to know you.
Stelle: Besides, we'll mostly be in my room, right?
Stelle: [Pom-Pom Checkmark]
Firefly: [Firefly Exhale]
Firefly: Thank goodness.
Firefly: I must admit, I'm both excited and worried to see the room of the fabled "Galactic Baseballer."
Firefly: It won't be filled with trash will it?
Stelle: [Surprised Pom-Pom]
Stelle: There won’t be, I promise!
Firefly: Well then, it’s a date!
Firefly: See you tomorrow, Stelle!
Firefly: [Firefly Heart]
Stelle: [Pom-Pom Wave]
Stelle couldn’t help but reread the messages over and over again, and any stress harbored inside her quickly faded away. She couldn’t help but smile uncontrollably, her legs bobbing up and down, a giggle almost escaping her lips.
She and Firefly had talked about this hangout for the past couple of days. With her having to stay in SAM because of her condition, the two wouldn’t have been able to meet in person for a while. Not for something as casual as this, anyway. But with Silver Wolf’s help, they could at least spend time together using her hologram projector to project an image of her real body. The specifics of how it worked flew over Stelle’s head; it’s not like she needed to know how it did for her to enjoy this.
There was also more to it—something Stelle wanted no matter what.
She was someone Stelle was absolutely captivated by, someone who she couldn’t help but smile around—the moment they spent together on Dream’s Edge had ingrained itself into her mind. Ever since their time spent on that rooftop, ever since they took that photo together, and any moment beyond that, Stelle had considered what Firefly meant to her. Was she just a Stellaron Hunter, someone following a script? Was she a friend whom she could confide in when she needed it? Or was she more than that?
But it was that last moment, when Firefly flew her up into the sky with SAM, and the two spun together in the light of Sparkle’s fireworks, that everything just clicked.
Firefly’s expression, her voice, her laughter, her eyes, her…everything.
It was all so radiant, outshining every firework in the sky around them.
She wasn’t able to tell her then. But she would be able to say to her now.
Stelle scrolled through the messages over and over again, grinning from ear to ear as–
“Well, someone sure seems excited!”
Stelle’s body jumped in shock, her phone flying into the air as she scrambled, barely able to catch it. Turning behind her, she saw March looking over her shoulder with a grin of her own. Aside from catching her looking as giddy as she did, she was likely proud of herself, considering it was her idea for Stelle to invite Firefly to the Express and confess to her.
March backed off, giving Stelle a bit more space. “Lemme guess, a certain someone said they were coming over tomorrow, and that made you feel all better!”
Stelle’s body relaxed, sighing as she smiled towards March. “I wasn’t expecting her actually to agree to it, but… I’m thrilled she did.”
March giggled in response. “I’m pretty sure ‘thrilled’ is a bit of an understatement, don’t you think?”
Stelle blushes as she stands up out of the chair. “Well, uh… Off topic, sorry if I was in here for longer than I should’ve been. How are things in the Parlor Car?”
“Oh, it’s fine, don’t worry about it much,” March responded reassuringly. “That’s actually why I’m here. Dan Heng and I are basically all finished cleaning up the Parlor Car. We just needed to throw the trash out, so he wanted me to nab you in case we ran into Pom-Pom. They’d probably be a bit cranky if they found out we let you rest here for a bit.”
Stelle chuckled in response. “Fair enough. Shall we then?”
March steps to the side as she and Stelle make their way out of the Party Car, the photographer noticing Stelle’s state and expression improvement. She breathes a sigh of relief, relieved that her friend is doing ok and not–
“By the way, I know you said we’re gonna throw it all out, but… do you think I could maybe at least keep one bag of garbage for–”
March immediately cut Stelle off by bonking her on her head with her fist, the grey-haired trailblazer recoiling away briefly. “You’re going to confess tomorrow, you numbskull! Why do you wanna clutter your room and ruin the mood!”