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Marinette wanted to blame Lila Rossi for her problems. It would be so easy to say that the rift between herself and her class had started because Marinette called out Lila’s deceit, that all of her friends were being manipulated, that she could win them back when she exposed the truth!
Deep down though, Marinette knew that it wasn’t so simple. The trouble between herself and her friends started long before Lila Rossi’s lies. Marinette had sewn this division with every excuse she had used to transform, every invitation she declined because of how tired she was after fights. Every promised favor she had “forgotten” because another akuma attack had used up all of her time. Every time she had brushed off questions of “you okay?” when she flinched too hard at a slammed door.
Being Ladybug had made her a worse friend to those in her normal life- Lila was only capitalizing on that fact. And, truthfully, Marinette was letting her. It was just so much easier keeping her friends at a distance. Not having anybody look for her during evacuations, gripping her arm like they were going to save her.
And it left time in the evenings for her to actually decompress. To take off her mask and just be. And yes. Maybe she knew it was bad that he was the only person she was comfortable around. She realized she was losing her friends. Maybe she didn’t care so long as he kept turning up on her balcony.
Because he understood her humor-dark and darker, though not anywhere as bad as it was when she had spots.
Because he was just as jumpy as she was, and knew not to ask questions. Knew to just blurt out a single “ah you’re good” and maybe steady her with a hand on her shoulder. Not psycho-analyze. Just press play on her laptop and move on.
Chat got it. And she hoped he knew she did too, even if he didn’t know why. Hoped that everytime he dropped into her bed (boots off the comforter) was a response to that question she couldn’t help ask, that do you see it do you see it do you see it thrumming behind her rib cage everywhere she went.
Yes he seemed to say. And that steady answer allowed her anxiety to ease for a bit.
Allowed her to melt down into her pile of blankets, tucked right next to him, shoulders touching and elbows knocking and covers pulled taught between them because sharing is caring chat stop taking all the blankets. Allowed her to sit and enjoy a movie or finish her homework without checking her phone every five minutes- Chat was a more accurate alert system anyways. His visits allowed her to doze off and really actually rest because her partner was there and safe and whole no matter what had happened during their last battle.
She knew logically that Chat did not get his comfort from the same things she did. It was evident in his lack of blush, and nicknames, that he had no idea she was his partner. But she didn’t feel selfish for his visits. He got something from his time spent in her room, or else he wouldn’t have kept coming over. So she took what she could from him, and didn’t worry about what she gave back. She was sure they were even. It was confirmed every night when his boots hit her balcony
yes and yes and yes everynight