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I was sitting in the next door room, waiting patiently. Pure Vanilla Cookie had told me to stay put. That he would explain everything to her and fix it. I now wonder what he meant. Because everything I did didn’t deserve or even had an explanation. It was my own curiosity and need for truth that ended up hurting everyone, even those I hold more close to my heart.
I told Pure Vanilla Cookie to not fret if she didn’t want to talk, it would only be reasonable after everything I did. Everything I destroyed, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t at least longed for him to be able to convince Golden Cheese Cookie.
For a moment I even prepared myself, the words and tone I would use, the way her eyes would sharpen at my sight. Or even the anger in the face that used to see me with such softness.
“ I WILL NOT TALK TO HER!” A scream from the next room was heard.
I smiled, ashamed that I still could. Even now, her voice made something in me ache. She sounded as radiant as ever despite everything that happened. I was glad that I couldn’t destroy that at least.
After what it felt like an eternity Pure Vanilla Cookie emerged from the other room. He looked as tired as ever.
“White Lily Cookie…” He looked saddened, maybe even a bit disappointed he hadn’t managed to convince her to come out and talk to me. “...I am sorry”
I frowned and gently grabbed his hand. “It is alright, I understand and respect her choices. I cannot force her to speak to me and neither can you.”
I tried to be strong, for him, so he wouldn’t feel like an even bigger disappointment, but deep down I felt my soul crumbling. I do not know what I had expected from this. But I had hopes. I had hoped to at least see her face, even if she just cursed me.
And then it clicked.
I wasn’t even worthy of that.