Archive of Our Own

Jeongin never liked summer.

He hated the sweltering heat of it, how his sun warmed skin felt when it came into contact with the cold air from AC units, how every species of insect gravitated toward him out of pure spite.

Eventually, he did get used to the hellish routine he had to adopt during these three months. He never stopped resenting it, but he learned to keep his mouth shut, especially since most of his friends were unfortunately obsessed with the season, and he didn't want to risk getting jumped if he spoke his mind.

So no, Jeongin did, in no way, like summer.

That was until he met Hyunjin.

Sweet, perfect Hyunjin, who sat down next to Jeongin on their first day of uni, and has been, whether consciously or not, changing every aspect of his life for the better ever since. Hyunjin, who had approached him so cheerfully on that day, shifting Jeongin's world off it's axis, and who's beaming smile warms Jeongin up like gentle sunlight, even now, three years later.

Jeongin was immensely grateful to have a friend like him — beautiful both inside and out. Sure, he cherished his six other closest friends immensely, he'd take a bullet for them without even a second thought, but there was just something about Hyunjin that drew Jeongin to him like a moth to a flame. He knew his feelings for Hyunjin were bordering on obsessive, but how else was he supposed to act when he had someone as kind and beautiful as Hyunjin as his friend?

Regardless of how weird Jeongin was about him, Hyunjin wasn't exempt from his incessant rambling about how badly he detested summer.

He'd go on and on about how he was sure the bugs had something personal against him, how no amount of shower gel could wash off the icky feeling the heat brought, and Hyunjin would just sit there, nodding sagely from time to time.

Around the first week of June, Jeongin let himself get dragged through the heat to a cafe near their apartments. They were sipping their drinks and chatting idly when Hyunjin's entire face lit up like he'd just gotten the best idea ever.

"I just got the best idea ever!!" He squealed, maybe a little too loud, earning himself a few annoyed looks from the other people in the cafe. Jeongin could only sigh, knowing damn well what he was about to hear. "What's it?" He asked in faux confusion.

"Soo I was thinking-" Jeongin gasped "Shut up and let me speak!" Hyunjin giggled, trying and failing to seem offended. "So, since you're not that big of a summer fan…" He trailed off. "What if we start doing fun activities around town, so you can hopefully get your head out of your ass and realize just how great it really is!!!" He exclaimed, clapping his hands together, clearly satisfied by the genius solution he had come up with.

Jeongin knew he couldn't say no — the last thing he'd want to do is upset his dearest friend Hyunjin, so of course he agrees, nodding happily at the older's suggestion, watching as his smile grows impossibly bigger, and keeping his mouth shut as he gets up and hugs Jeongin so tightly it cuts off his airflow.

They've arranged to meet on Fridays, after both of them finish with school and with work.

Their first few hangouts are pretty tame, just harmless movie nights for the most part. Jeongin doesn't mind it, in fact, he could see himself getting used to spending the majority of his free time glued to Hyunjin's side.

On their third so-called date, as Hyunjin has decided to call them, (Jeongin really didn't want to think about the implications of going on dates with his best friend, so he lets it slide, tuning out the word every time Hyunjin said it.) Hyunjin arrives at Jeongin's place as usual, carrying just his backpack.

Normally they'd talk beforehand, decide on what to watch or what to do, arrange a few activities, discuss anything related to their hangouts. This time however, they hadn't talked about it at all. Jeongin feels mildly threatened by the mystery of it, also by the older's backpack — so ordinary yet so suspicious. When Hyunjin toes his shoes off and sets the backpack down, Jeongin gives it a disgusted look, as if it had personally offended him, then excitedly greets Hyunjin, offering to make him a coffee. Or something, he was still figuring out the basics of being a polite host. Hyunjin declines, shockingly enough.

"So. Uhm, what are we doing today?" Jeongin asks, obviously curious.

Hyunjin just gives him an indiscernible look before laughing maniacally. Jeongin is convinced he's lost it. "You'll see, Jeonginnie," He interrupts his fit of giggles to say. "Don't get too nosy. Wanna bake something?"

The question catches Jeongin off guard. They both are shit at baking, as it has been proven countless times in the past, so he was a bit skeptical about Hyunjin's suggestion, to say the least.

"Are you sure you want to bake?" He asked, unsure. "I'd like to keep my kitchen intact and functional thank you very much." Hearing that, Hyunjin scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"I know we're both shit at it, so I've decided to contact a professional." He was so sure of himself, a horribly endearing smug look on his face. Jeongin wanted to kiss him.

"You're calling Yongbok-hyung aren't you."

"Yes I am." Came Hyunjin's immediate answer, making the both of them giggle uncontrollably.

Once they could look at each other again without bursting out laughing, they made their way to the kitchen, Hyunjin jumped up to sit on the counter, already calling Felix.

After five long minutes of the older's phone ringing, Felix finally answers, offering him a very warm greeting, which consisted of a pretty long string of expletives.

"You woke me up Hyunjin. What could possibly be so important you had to interrupt my afternoon nap for?" Felix asked, groggy and clearly pissed off.

"Me and Innie wanna make brownies!" Hyunjin exclaimed. "And since you're so good at making them, we thought we'd call you and ask for directions!!! Also sorry for waking you up." He added, smiling meanly at Felix, who seemed thoroughly unimpressed and seconds away from hanging up.

Felix gets over the fact he's been woken up pretty quickly, so he spends the next thirty minutes explaining, as patiently as he can, all the ingredients and steps needed to actually make the brownies, then spends ten minutes playfully bickering with Hyunjin, just to abruptly remember they were supposed to be baking.

He stops replying to Hyunjin's snarky remarks and begins instructing them sternly again, and they finish up soon enough, gently setting the tray in the oven. Jeongin participates to the best of his abilities, his mind still focused on whatever Hyunjin brought. They bid their goodbyes, throwing a "Bye Lix-yah!" In a perfect harmony. Jeongin did definitely forget the honorific. He prays Felix won't scold him too badly.

Instead of actually doing something productive for the forty minutes their brownies were in the oven, they unceremoniously sat themselves in front of it and played uno. When the timer rang, Hyunjin looked genuinely miserable, having lost all of the eleven rounds they played. Jeongin was so smug about winning he forgot all about Hyunjin's plans for later on.

Despite how energetic they felt, taking the brownies out of the oven and eating them was a relatively peaceful affair, the two of them humming contentedly and praising Felix's recipe, he really was the best at making brownies.

Jeongin wanted to ask about what Hyunjin had in his backpack, but he figured he'd find out soon enough, so he kept silent, deciding to savour the brownies instead.

"I see you literally shaking in anticipation. Wanna go see what I brought?" Hyunjin asked as they were putting their dirty plates in the sink, teasingly raising his eyebrows. Jeongin turned and ran towards the entrance where the older had left his backpack, almost tripping him in the process. His curious hands reached for the zipper of the backpack, nearly tearing it open. His jaw fell open in shock when his brain registered what was in it.

Hyunjin had brought a truly impressive selection of hair dyes. Jeongin was dumbfounded at the sight. "Hyung?" He began, eyeing the boxes of dye like it was his first time seeing anything like them.

"Hm?" Hyunjin responded, turning the tap on to probably wash the dishes.

"You wanted to…Dye my hair?" Jeongin asks, incredulous. Hyunjin started laughing.

"Not just yours, silly. We're both gonna be dying our hair!!" He sounded so happy saying it, Jeongin didn't have the heart to turn him down, so he rifled through what seemed like an endless supply of different colors of dye, settling on whatever shade of blonde he could find.

"What color are you gonna do?" He asks, tone a little lower now that Hyunjin's finished cleaning the dishes. "Also thanks for the help." Jeongin adds, watching as the older walks towards him, crouching down to pick a box of his own.

"No problem Jeonginnie." Hyunjin smiles. "I think I'll do blue actually, been wanting to try it for a while now. Also nice pick!" He says, gesturing towards the box of blonde dye Jeongin had taken.

"Blue?" Jeongin is shocked, to say the least. Hyunjin is very unpredictable when it comes to things like these, but going from blonde to blue is quite the leap. Jeongin is already imagining how his friend will look with it. He thinks any color hair would suit Hyunjin.

"Yep, blue. It's a nice color, don't you like it?" He asks, almost daring him to say something against it — Jeongin of course doesn't object.

"Oh of course I like blue, why wouldn't I? Let's take these to the bathroom, shall we? I want to go blonde now." Jeongin smiled, getting up and basically sprinting to the bathroom, setting the boxes down next to the sink.

"Wanna go first?" Hyunjin asked, cocking his head to the side like a puppy. Jeongin found it terribly cute, how his long blonde hair flopped to the side. "Since you've never dyed your hair at home, I figured you'd wanna get it over with quick." He was so grateful Hyunjin was his friend, Jeongin it's sure he wouldn't have survived without him.

"Yeah sure." He nodded, sitting down on the edge of the tub, hair dye box in hand.

"You'll let me help you, right?" The older added, though he was already pulling a pair of black gloves on. Jeongin wasn't going to do it himself anyway.

The younger watched attentively as Hyunjin thoroughly mixed the color in a tiny ladybug bowl he probably brought from his place. This wasn't the first time he's watched Hyunjin do this, but there was just something that made Jeongin extra interested now. He figured it was because he was the one getting his hair dyed.

"You ready?" Hyunjin's question snapped Jeongin out of the trance-like state he was in.

He had turned towards him, ladybug bowl in hand and a determined look on his face. Jeongin nodded sternly, excited to see what he'd look like blonde.

Hyunjin then began slowly massaging the color into his hair, first along the roots, gently carding his fingers through Jeongin's still ginger hair, making him sleepy — then continuing onto the lengths of his hair, and finally finishing with the ends.

Jeongin hadn't realized just how relaxing Hyunjin's hands felt while massaging his scalp only when they stopped — the older moving away to peel his gloves off and wash his hands. The lack of contact saddened Jeongin, but he didn't say anything, just reached for the box to check how long he had to wait before washing the dye off.

"I would help you dye yours but I unfortunately have no idea what I'm doing, so I'll just cheer you on while you do all the work yourself." Jeongin snickered as he watched Hyunjin fan himself with the instruction sheet in mock distress.

"Oh, what am I gonna do without your help, Jeonginnie?" He wailed, his performance surprisingly convincing. Jeongin could only laugh, thoroughly endeared by the older.

"Said I'd cheer you on though didn't I? That's enough help on my part." He said through giggles, giving Hyunjin an encouraging pat on his shoulder.

Hyunjin just scoffed, washing out the last bits of blonde hair dye out the bowl and mixing his own. He made quick work of smoothing the dye all over his hair, while also getting a decent amount of it on his shirt and Jeongin's sink of course. The whole ordeal only took him ten minutes, despite his hair being longer that the younger's. He felt a weird feeling bloom in his chest when he realized just how careful and patient Hyunjin had been with him. Anyways, he had to wash his hair.

Jeongin silently knelt next to the tub and started rinsing his hair, he didn't really know if Hyunjin was done with his own hair, but he could still feel his presence in the tiny bathroom. Once the water ran clear, he shampooed and applied some of his conditioner, turning around while he waited for it to set.

"Wow hyung, you look great!" He wasn't lying when he said it. Despite his hair being still wet from the dye, it looked amazing, the vibrant blue complimenting his honey skin perfectly, Jeongin really loved the way it looked on him.

"Oh! Thanks Jeonginnie." He responded, the tips of his ears turning a bright shade of red. "Blonde looks amazing on you, I'm glad you picked it out." It was now Jeongin's turn to blush, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly and muttering a thank you under his breath.

After the conditioner set, he quickly washed it out and ran to his room to dry his hair, purposely avoiding any mirrors, not wanting to spoil the surprise just yet.

Jeongin screams when he sees his reflection in the hallway mirror.

"Are you alright?" Hyunjin asks, running to him to check if something happened. His hair had fallen out of the bun and was now staining his neck and shirt.

"Yeah, m'fine. You were right when you said blonde suits me, I love it!" Jeongin was, to say the least, obsessed. He absolutely adored the way he looked blonde, in fact he loved it so much that he immediately went to hug Hyunjin, instinctively smushing his face into the older's neck. He didn't understand why Hyunjin had tensed up all of a sudden though.

"Jeonginnie…" He began, trailing off, sounding scared.

"Oh fuck." Jeongin said, quickly realizing why the older was so tense.

His hair was still soaked in blue dye. And Jeongin had just hugged him, too happy to even consider using his brain. There was a thick, greenish-blue strand right above his eyebrow now.

"I'm so so sorry I-I didn't expect you to hug me. We can still try washing it out, you'll be fine. I'm so sorry Jeongin." Hyunjin rambled, now so panicked he was almost crying.

The problem is Jeongin genuinely liked the way that single blue strand stood out, the way he was now matching with Hyunjin's blue hair.

"Nahh, don't worry about it hyung, I like the way it looks." He hoped the warm smile he offered the older would soothe his nerves and make him stop looking so miserable. Jeongin didn't want to see him cry.

"A-are you sure? I've got more blonde dye we can mix up and cover it." Hyunjin asked, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"I'm sure." Jeongin assured him, certain that he'd want to keep the blue strand. It was a way for him to remember this night for weeks to come, to remember how much fun he had and how much he enjoyed Hyunjin's company.

He gave the strand a quick rinse in the sink while Hyunjin was washing his hair of the dye. It was a comfortable silence, none of them saying anything — happy to just exist in each other's space.

Jeongin deemed his now blue bangs rinsed enough, so he made his way to the kitchen while Hyunjin was drying his hair, to put the leftover brownies in a plastic container. He doodled some cats, stars and hearts on it, then tucked it in the older's backpack.

Once the noise from the hair dryer dissipated. Hyunjin turned the lights off in the bathroom and walked to the living room, plopping himself on the light green couch. Jeongin was slightly shocked to see the older was shirtless, but he figured seeing Hyunjin half-naked was better than seeing stains of blue on his couch from the dirty shirt.

"You can borrow a shirt from me, so you don't have to walk home in the stained one." Jeongin suggests, already walking to his closet to retrieve a light gray shirt, almost identical to the one Hyunjin had been wearing, just shorter, and placing it next to him on the couch.

"Thanks, Jeonginnie." He lifted his head up to smile cheerfully at him. "I'll put it on in a sec, once I cool down a bit." Hyunjin definitely had a point, it was indeed very hot inside, and it was probably worse outside, so opening the window was pointless. Thank god Jeongin had saved up for an AC unit before a PC. He gave himself a mental pat on the back for it, he could live with his old laptop, but he would've died without AC.

Feeling slightly tired from the baking heat and dyeing his hair, Jeongin slumped on the couch, his knee just barely touching Hyunjin's ankle, neither of them moving away.

It had been a good fifteen minutes since they had sat down. At some point, Hyunjin had shrugged the younger's shirt on, he had no clue when though. They were peacefully relishing in the cool air from the AC when Hyunjin jumped up so suddenly it nearly gave Jeongin a heart attack, the older made his way to his backpack, somehow not noticing the brownies Jeongin had smuggled in there and pulling out a toiletry bag instead

"I forgot I brought these!!" He squeaked. "Close your eyes."

Jeongin did as he was told, closing his eyes, but not before noticing Hyunjin's evil smile. What was he planning again?

He heard a bit of rustling before Hyunjin presumably jumped on the couch again, pretty close to where Jeongin was sitting. He was growing impatient, the rustling resumed, and Jeongin soon felt Hyunjin's hands through his hair. He could only hope to open his eyes and not be bald or something.

"Aalright, you can open your eyes now!"

Jeongin downright wheezed when he saw what Hyunjin had put in his hair.

In the tiny hand mirror the older was holding for him, he could make out a ridiculous ratatouille themed headband. The Remy plush on it even had clips for hands, he wondered how Hyunjin even managed to catch two strands of his hair in those clips without making him overly suspicious. It was impressive. And hilarious.

When he had finally calmed down from the hysterical laughing fit he was sent into, Jeongin made the mistake of looking up, making eye contact with the huge plush rat head Hyunjin had put on. He was brought to tears within milliseconds.

"Where did you even find these?" Jeongin coughed out, breathless from laughing, his eyes still brimmed with tears. This was ridiculous. They looked ridiculous.

"Not telling you. It's a secret." Hyunjin tutted, shaking his head disapprovingly. Jeongin involuntarily pouted at that. He too wanted to invest in a silly headband of his own — he'd have to steal one of Hyunjin's then. Asking Hyunjin for one was also a good option if he wanted to seem like a normal member of society. Jeongin could also ask for a kiss from the older, then for his hand in marriage.

The fumes from the hair dye had really gotten to him.

"This isn't actually what I planned on doing…" Hyunjin admits. "Just wanted to show off the silly headbands I got."

"They're amazing, I would've never expected to be crying laughing over a headband though, that's a bit embarrassing on my part." Jeongin's ears were red, giving away just how embarrassed he truly was.

"Trust me, it's not embarrassing at all." The older winked, soothing Jeongin's nerves to some extent. "Can I do your hair?" The question was useless though. Jeongin couldn't think of something he wouldn't let Hyunjin do to him, it was a scary realization to come to, but it was the truth.

Jeongin hummed in approval, letting himself be manhandled between Hyunjin's legs, his back towards the older.

"You want me to do something specific or do I have full artistic freedom?" He asked, gently removing Jeongin's hair from the headband's clips, then reaching into the bag to grab a parting comb and an absurd amount of hair ties and clips, each in a different color.

"As long as I get to keep all of my hair, you're free to do whatever you want hyung, I trust you." He trusted Hyunjin with way more than just his hair, but he didn't have to know that.

The older nodded and immediately tied a ponytail at the top of his head, making sure to be as gentle as possible when combing his hair. Jeongin appreciated the softness of Hyunjin's touches, how he brushed his freshly blonde hair so diligently, how he placed every clip so attentively, and how much he obviously cared about the younger.

Just like when Hyunjin was applying dye to his hair, the constant drag of hands against his scalp made him impossibly sleepy, to the point he was using every bit of energy he had to try staying awake. His efforts were threatened however when Hyunjin started humming. It was a song Jeongin definitely knew, he had heard it countless times blasting from Hyunjin's car speakers, but was too distracted to remember it's name right now.

"Hyung, can you please stop humming?" He asked in a soft voice, not wanting to sound rude. "I don't wanna fall asleep on you."

"Sure, I'm sorry. You're done by the way." He responded in an equally delicate tone.

"S'fine, don't worry about it. Thanks for doing my hair. Want me to do yours too?" Jeongin asked, turning around to give the older a smile.

"Oh yeah, sure." Hyunjin smiled back, pressing a chaste kiss to the top of Jeongin's head and getting up to switch their places.

Since the earlier drowsiness had worn off, Jeongin could actually participate, chatting with Hyunjin about what plans he had for their future "dates", while also braiding the older's hair, his fingers working with surprising dexterity. After he finished with the braids, he asked Hyunjin to turn around so he could do something in the front of his hair too.

Jeongin vaguely remembered a youtube tutorial he watched months ago, so he attempted to replicate it, parting his hair in a star shape, then tying it with a baby blue elastic. He deemed it good enough and spent a few more seconds admiring his work before ushering Hyunjin to his feet and towards the bathroom, wanting to get a proper look at both of their hairstyles.

Once they entered the bathroom and turned on the light their cheeky giggles faded into enamored and appreciative hums, both of them taking their time to admire every detail like some overly pretentious art critics.

Jeongin stared in a mix of awe and disbelief at the very cute cat ears his hair was molded into, still shiny with gel. Apart from the cat ears, Hyunjin had also tied a small ponytail right between the makeshift ears. The strands that didn't make up the cat ears or the ponytail were held down with a variety of fruit themed clips, making him look like equally cute and funny.

"I love it Hyunjinnie, it's really cute." Jeongin nodded approvingly, giving him a short round of applause for the impressive hairstyle.

"Thank you! I adore mine too. How'd you even do this? You've got to teach me sometime." Hyunjin was staring intently at the silly hairdo he had. His hair was so long it made the ponytail flop around like an antenna of sorts, and the star clips around it really tied the whole look together. Jeongin was seriously considering becoming a hairstylist now.

"I'm glad you like it hyung." The younger mumbled, clearly flustered by the compliment.

They turned the bathroom light off and stepped back into the living room, Hyunjin moving over to the couch to pick up his stuff.

"Think I'll go Iyen-ah, s'getting pretty late." The older announced, zipping up his backpack and throwing it over his shoulder.

"Oh, alright, lemme just-" Jeongin muttered, reaching up to undo the clips in his hair.

"Nono it's fine, you can keep them." He said, stopping Jeongin from taking them out. "Please keep them. I can't really take off your shirt and give it back right now…I'll bring it to you next week. Promise." Hyunjin smiled, walking to the door and sliding his shoes on. Jeongin honestly didn't want to ever get that shirt back. He wanted Hyunjin to keep wearing it, wanted everyone to know he was Jeongin's.

"Sounds good to me." Jeongin responded, following the older to the door. "See you next week?"

"Well of course." Hyunjin assured him while opening the door and stepping out.

"We're going to the beach by the way." Was the last thing he said before closing the door, leaving a dumbstruck Jeongin behind.

It's not that he didn't like going to the beach, he loved it — In theory at least.

He only enjoyed the concept of going there really, since he couldn't stand burning the skin off his feet every time he stepped on the scorching sand, neither did he enjoy having to cover himself in sunscreen constantly, just to end up sunburnt anyway. He also hated the absurd amount of algae floating in the water. It made it harder to tell if that thing he felt brushing against his leg was a shark, jellyfish or just algae.

He still has nightmares about that one time all eight of them went to the beach together.

Jeongin had gotten bored of tanning with Hyunjin and Felix, so he went in the water to look for algae, since he had nothing better to do and figured that Jisung, Minho and Changbin could use them to decorate their sand castles. He had borrowed a bucket for them from Jisung, who was animatedly discussing the floor plan of the castle with Changbin, who seemed just as passionate about it as the younger.

Jeongin was in the water for a good fifteen minutes, blindly picking up algae and carelessly throwing it into the bucket, all while looking for Chan and Seungmin, who had left to get them some drinks.

At one point he picked up a suspiciously large chunk of what he thought was algae, only to have his heart drop to his ass when he realized that he had very confidently picked up a huge jellyfish.

He dropped everything. The jellyfish, the bucket, and the random shell he had picked up with the intention of giving it to Hyunjin. He ran out of the water so fast he didn't notice Seungmin and Chan walking peacefully along the shore with all their drinks, only after he had knocked both of them over, creating a pile of limbs and now empty plastic cups.

They didn't seem too mad about it, but they did make him bring another eight drinks, to make up for the ones he spilt. He pretended not to be salty about having to make two trips to the beach bar, since it was his fault anyways.

Ever since that day, Jeongin was hesitant for go to the beach, still fully expecting the jellyfish's relatives to find him and avenge their injured brother every time he stepped into the water.

He spends the next days contemplating changing his identity and moving to another country to start his life over, just to get out of going to the beach, then he figures Hyunjin would be sad without him, so he decides to keep living as Yang Jeongin.

He's still hesitant when he begins packing a bag full of random things he thinks he might need, he throws in a change of clothes, some sunscreen, snacks, two water guns and an inflatable floatie. Just in case Hyunjin convinces him to get in the water.

The next day, when Hyunjin texts him to announce he's in front of his apartment building, he's fully determined to have fun and put the whole jellyfish incident to rest, wanting to unwind freely without worrying about such pointless things.

He runs down the stairs and hops into Hyunjin's car, greeting the other man enthusiastically.

"Hiii hyunggg." He giggles, closing the car door.

"Hi Jeongin-ah, you ready to have fun at the beach?" Hyunjin responded, just as cheerful.

"Oh I was born ready." Jeongin sternly agrees as the older man starts driving. The beach isn't really that far from their apartments, but walking in the infernal heat outside would've been horrible. He's glad Hyunjin has a car.

Once they make it to the beach and secure their sunbeds, Jeongin starts remembering why he was so hesitant to come here in the first place. The sun is burning the skin on his shoulders and there's already a swarm of insects looming around the popsicle he just opened. He's lucky to have slippers on, knowing damn well he'd be sprinting to the shaded areas to avoid melting his feet off if he didn't.

Hyunjin rushes to put on sunscreen, yelling at Jeongin to come apply it to his back too. Once he's properly covered in it, he runs into the water without hesitation, throwing himself into the blue waves.

"Yang Jeongin!!" Hyunjin screamed from the water. "Get your ass in here!!" He was gesturing wildly, waving his arms around like an idiot. It was so disgustingly cute and endearing it made Jeongin want to scream too.

"In a second!" He yelled back with absolutely no intention of getting into the water. He said he'd get over the jellyfish thing but he lied. God forbid a guy experiences fear.

Hyunjin apparently trusted the younger to actually join him in the water, turning away from the shore to swim around aimlessly.

Jeongin had covered himself in like three towels, too lazy to put on sunscreen but still not wanting to go home the perfect shade of boiled crab red. He could only pray that Hyunjin would be too distracted playing around in the water to notice Jeongin's disappeared, leaving behind a heap of brightly colored beach towels.

He was trying his best to enjoy this outing regardless, closing his eyes and focusing on the gentle, constant hiss of the waves, letting it calm him down and distract him from the infernal heat still lingering in the air despite the cool breeze.

Jeongin's peace lasted for as long as it took him to open his eyes back up. Once he did, he immediately made eye contact with a very disappointed looking Hyunjin.

"You really thought you could sit here and get away with it? I told you to come into the water, there's no jellyfish." He chastised him, shaking his head in disapproval.

"I'm sorry hyung but I'm still scared to go into the water. Can't I just watch you from here?" He tried, already knowing that Hyunjin was never gonna let that slide.

"Nope. You're getting in that water whether you want it or not. Now peel those towels off you, put on some sunscreen and get in there. We're playing mermaids." Hyunjin said it so casually, like they weren't grown men playing children's games.

They probably could've found some more age appropriate activities, but where was the fun in that?

Jeongin kept his mouth shut as Hyunjin sprayed the sunscreen all over his back and shoulders, roughly massaging it into his skin.

"Put some on your face too." He pointed out, handing him the sunscreen bottle.

Now protected from the sun's rays, Jeongin could step out from underneath the umbrella, yelping in pain as his feet came into contact with the almost incandescent sand. They both apparently had the same reaction, running side by side towards the water, making a huge splash when they jumped in.

They spent the next hour and a half playing mermaids, just as Hyunjin wanted to. Every once in a while, Jeongin would remember he is a twenty-four year old man pretending to be a mermaid together with his twenty-five year old friend. The realization makes him cringe every time, but he figures that life is too short to feel bad about being cringy, so he lets himself enjoy these moments anyway, uncaring for what others might have to say about them.

The sun was beginning to set so Hyunjin suggested they pack up and go home. Jeongin agreed, deciding he had publicly embarrassed himself enough for the day.

So the two once again ran across the hot sand, giggling despite the fact their feet were probably burnt to a crisp by that point. A comfortable silence fell over them when they reached their sun beds. They remained silent as they packed up their stuff and walked back to the car, and were still silent the whole car ride back to Jeongin's place.

The comfort of it didn't last too long though, a weird, inexplicable sadness washing over Jeongin as Hyunjin's car stopped in front of his apartment building. He didn't understand where this sudden unintelligible mess of feelings had bloomed from, he didn't want to find out either.

"Hey Hyunjin…" He began, voice trembling, barely above a whisper. "Would you wanna spend the night?" His voice was so low now that he feared Hyunjin wouldn't hear him and he'd have to repeat himself

"Oh sure Jeonginnie, are you alright? You look like you're about to start crying." Jeongin wasn't sure about how he looked, but he sure felt like crying. He was immensely grateful that Hyunjin had agreed to sleep over.

They walked silently up the stairs to his apartment. Hyunjin holding his hand the whole way up, that helped calm down the wild storm of feelings rising inside Jeongin. He only let go when they had to take their shoes off, immediately reaching for Jeongin's hand again once he was done.

"Wanna order something to eat? I'll let you pick." Hyunjin broke the deafening silence, handing his phone over to Jeongin, who's mood was gradually improving.

"Thought you'd never ask, m'starving." Jeongin admitted, gracefully accepting the phone from Hyunjin and sitting down next to him on the couch, browsing for something that would sate his hunger.

"Is pizza okay?" He asked, glancing at Hyunjin, who was wistfully staring out the window. He smiled when his eyes met Jeongin's.

"Sounds great, get me one with salami, and get yourself two. So you won't have to live off instant noodles since you're so adamant about not letting Minho-hyung cook you actual food." Hyunjin's voice was stern, but his gaze did little to hide his fondness. Jeongin just nodded and placed the order, handing the older's phone back.

"Gonna go for a smoke." Hyunjin announced, getting up and fetching his pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his backpack. "Come sit with me?"

He didn't need to be told twice, already standing up and making his way to the balcony right behind the older man.

Hyunjin didn't really smoke that often anymore. Jeongin believed his endless attempts at getting him to quit were working. To some extent. He was really only smoking a pack a month, which wasn't scandalous, so Jeongin's decided to leave him alone. He closes the glass door behind him and sits down on one of his beloved sun chairs.

His balcony isn't really all that, but he loves the vibes it gives off anyway. The railing is made of glass, offering a great view of the sea in the distance. He's spent thousands of sleepless nights out here, staring at the far away waves, like they'd help him feel better, and they often did, he couldn't explain it really, but being so close to the sea, it's gentle waves and cool breeze made it hard to stay sad for long.

"D'you wanna talk about what happened earlier?" Hyunjin asked suddenly, startling Jeongin.

The younger had to pause a moment to take in just how beautiful Hyunjin was. The amber glow of the dying sunset painted his face in different shades of orange, making him look like a bronze statue, like something you'd see displayed in an art gallery.

His passionate staring was interrupted when he realized he forgot to answer Hyunjin's question.

"What happened though?" He was a bit confused, sure, he had acted a little weird, but he considered the whole situation too unimportant to mention.

"You looked absolutely miserable Jeongin, I was worried you hurt yourself in the water, or that you were sick. What was that?"

The truth was Jeongin had no idea as to what had caused that sudden rush of bone-crushing sadness, he wished he had a good explanation to give Hyunjin, but he didn't. He thinks it has some vague correlation to the funny feeling that he's been having to deal with every time Hyunjin looks at him a certain way. It was almost like butterflies but not quite.

His incapability to describe what he really felt frustrated him to no end.

"I-I don't know what that was, honestly. I'm completely fine, I didn't get hurt or anything." He shrugged. "I'm aware it was weird, but I've got no explanation for it, m'sorry." He said, praying that Hyunjin will understand it was just a random mood swing and leave it at that.

"No need to apologize, Jeongin-ah, it's totally fine if you can't explain it, I won't push." His voice was soft, laced with nothing but pure understanding. "Sometimes our feelings get all mixed up and you don't know exactly what you're feeling, and it's okay. I'm glad you're alright though." Hyunjin smiled at him — a big, genuine smile, that warmed Jeongin up more than the summer sun ever could. He put his cigarette out in the ashtray that Jeongin kept there specifically for him, then sat down on the sun chair, next to him.

Jeongin had to try his absolute hardest to not let Hyunjin notice just how fast his heart was beating just because he had sat so close to him. He felt like a teenager with a crush.

Then it dawned on him.

All those times when even the slightest attention from Hyunjin made his whole face burn up, all those suffocating, overwhelming emotions that swirled through him whenever they made eye contact. It all made sense now.

Jeongin was in love.

It wasn't just a silly crush, an odd infatuation with the other man, no. It was love — true, beautiful, all-encompassing love.

This newfound realization helped Jeongin recall just how many aspects of his life had been consumed by Hyunjin — how the morning birdsong, red roses, paintings, vinyl records, and the sea all reminded Jeongin of him now. How every time he'd smell the sun on his skin he'd think about Hyunjin, and how all these silly hangouts, or dates, or whatever they'd call them were actually helping Jeongin slowly discover his love for summer. He no longer dreaded leaving the house when it was hot outside, caring more about being in Hyunjin's presence than about the heat.

Some part of him had seen this coming ages ago, so the realization that he had fallen oh so foolishly in love with his best friend didn't scare him as much as he expected it to. It felt surprisingly calming — finally putting a name to the odd things he had been feeling for so long now. He knew that Hyunjin didn't love him back, sure, he wasn't shy about the fact that he liked men, but it was clear that he didn't like Jeongin, at least not like that. There was no point in being sad about it, he was content to just exist around him.

"Whatcha thinking about, Jeonginnie?" Hyunjin then asked, looking at him softly. Jeongin wanted to kiss him so badly. "You've been awfully quiet."

"S'nothing, I'm just hungry." He lied, cause he wasn't going to confess to his friend on a random Friday evening. No way. "Wanna go back inside?"

"Yeah, sure."

The doorbell rang just as Hyunjin was closing the balcony door, they shot each other a knowing glance before running over to the door to get their food.

They put on a movie to watch while they ate, and spent the entire length of it commenting every other scene. When they were done, Hyunjin helped Jeongin clean up, then offered to do the dishes while the younger showered. Jeongin had no intentions of ever washing those plates, so he was glad Hyunjin so generously offered to do it for him.

He entered the bathroom and took a moment to stare at his reflection in the very dirty mirror, like the realization that he was in love with his best friend would alter his appearance. He shrugged and stepped inside the tub, turning on the water and not so patiently waiting for it to warm up.

Clean and feeling more alive than ever, Jeongin sauntered out into the living room, where Hyunjin was playing on his phone, sprawled out on the couch.

"Wanna go for a shower too?" Jeongin asked, turning his head in the vague direction of the bathroom. "I'll lend you some of my pyjamas." He gave the older man a knowing smile. He had yet to return the gray shirt Jeongin had given him last week.

"Thanks Iyen-ah." He smiled at Jeongin, getting up and walking alongside the younger towards his room.

Jeongin hands him a pair of plaid pants and a slightly discolored black shirt, which Hyunjin accepts gracefully, entering the bathroom and closing the door with a soft click. He flops into his bed and patiently waits for the older to return.

Hyunjin emerges from the bathroom a few minutes later, goes into the living room to put his clothes in his bag and returns to Jeongin's room, standing over the bed where the younger was — still face down in the sheets, there wasn't much difference between him and a dead body at that point.

"You good?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yeah, peachy, just bored." He turns over to stare at the ceiling, and at Hyunjin of course.

"Me too." Hyunjin admits. "D'you have some sort of moisturizer i can use? I got sunburnt."

He's surprised that the sunscreen-obsessed Hyunjin managed to get burnt in the sun, while Jeongin, who absolutely hated putting it on, was doing just fine, his skin nowhere near as red as the older's.

"I think I do, hold on a sec." He gets up and rummages through his bedside drawer, pulling out a bottle of after sun lotion, probably forgotten there by Hyunjin himself, since Jeongin would never invest in anything like that. He hands Hyunjin the bottle and slumps back into his bed.

"Actually nevermind." Hyunjin sighs. "Help me put it on?" He asks, waving the moisturizer bottle around.

Jeongin, like always, is absolutely unable to deny him anything, so he wordlessly gets up and takes the lotion from the other man again, gesturing for him to take off his shirt. He's glad to have an excuse to stare at Hyunjin's bare torso.

Hyunjin complies and peels his (Jeongin's) shirt off and turns around, letting Jeongin gently smooth the lotion into his very red shoulders and back, mindful to not press too hard on the sunburnt skin and risk hurting him. Jeongin mourns the fact he can't see the mole on Hyunjin's navel, but his back is just as gorgeous, so he's not complaining.

He takes his time applying it, making sure to stare intently at the way Hyunjin's back muscles move and react to the cold lotion.

"All done!" Jeongin announces, playfully smacking Hyunjin's shoulder, then apologizing profusely once he remembers that the other man is, in fact, sunburnt.

"Thanks Jeongin-ah." Hyunjin turns around and smiles, still sounding a bit offended by the smack.

They make brief eye contact and Jeongin's whole body tingles. He'd expected understanding he was in love with Hyunjin would forever alter they way he perceived the other man — and it did, in a way. Jeongin felt like everything had changed, but had also somehow remained the same. It was odd, really, but what was Jeongin's life if not odd?

"M'tired, I'll go to sleep if that's fine with you." Hyunjin yawns, turning to leave his room.

Jeongin stops him with a hand gently wrapped around his wrist. Hyunjin could easily let go if he wanted to, but he doesn't, instead he gives him a questioning look.

"Please stay here, we've got enough space in my bed. I don't want to sleep alone." Jeongin feels truly pathetic saying it out loud. If Hyunjin doesn't want to sleep in the same bed as him, that's fine, there was no pain in asking though.

"Alright, I'll sleep here then." Hyunjin snakes his hand from Jeongin's grip, moving closer and capturing him in a crushing hug, still shirtless for some odd reason.

Another thing that Jeongin absolutely despised before meeting Hyunjin was physical touch. It was something he was convinced he'd never grow to like. Until Hyunjin started randomly initiating it — a brush of hands, a pat on the back, even going so far as hugging him. At first he detested it, of course he did. His whole body would seize up involuntarily, and he'd be able to relax only after Hyunjin had let him go, but, like everything he did with the older man, he eventually learned to like it, so now he didn't tense up anymore, nor did he pull away when Hyunjin would go for a hug.

They stayed like that for a good while, resting their heads on each other's shoulders, shrouded in a comfy silence.

"Okay but seriously I'm so tired, we can keep hugging in bed if you want to." Hyunjin breaks the silence, making a move to get into bed, dragging Jeongin along with him.

They separate for a few moments, settling into the soft sheets, Hyunjin spoons Jeongin, earning a contented sigh from the younger. It's not often that he gets so clingy, but when he does, it's always Hyunjin that he gravitates towards.

When he hears the older's breath slow down behind him, no longer ruffling the hairs on his nape, Jeongin turns around, nuzzling his face in the crook of Hyunjin's neck, breathing in a faint trace of his cologne, covered by the scent of shower gel — Jeongin's shower gel. It makes him feel wildly possessive again, like he did when he saw Hyunjin wearing his shirt.

The sun wakes Jeongin up unceremoniously, blinding him and rendering him unable to fall back asleep. He also registers the fact his limbs have ended up tangled with Hyunjin's, so he's left there, incapable of moving or falling back asleep, though it's not as infuriating as it usually would be, since it's Hyunjin he's woken up next to. He feels strangely happy instead of annoyed.

Luckily for him, Hyunjin stirs awake a few minutes later, blinking dazedly at Jeongin, who was trying his best to keep himself from kissing Hyunjin stupid.

"Good morning sunshine." Jeongin beams at him, squinting to keep the morning sunlight out of his eyes. "How'd you sleep?"

"Amazing." Hyunjin croaks. "Best I've had in a while." He chuckles, sleep finally starting to wear off.

They disentangle their legs without much of a fuss, getting up to race each other to the kitchen. When Jeongin makes it there first, Hyunjin is pouting, and he has to hold himself back from kissing him for the second time in the past 24 hours.

To make up for it, Jeongin throws together an elaborate breakfast (cereal) for the two of them. He sets the bowls down on the table and walks back into the kitchen to make Hyunjin's coffee. Being around the other man so much means he's memorized many aspects of his life — including his coffee order. He brews the coffee, admittedly in a bit of a hurry, wanting to get back at the table with Hyunjin as soon as possible.

Being the amazing friend he is, Hyunjin waits for Jeongin to bring his coffee, and whispers a soft thank you as he accepts the mug from the younger.

Jeongin could get used to this, to the domestic comfort of spending a lazy morning with his friend, He'd like him better as his boyfriend really, but that can't be helped.

Their breakfast is quite uneventful, Hyunjin chokes on his coffee after Jeongin catches him staring, but apart from that it's nothing special.

They put the bowls and spoons in the sink, leaving the task of washing said dishes to their future selves.

Hyunjin finally, finally puts on a shirt, it's unfortunately not Jeongin's, but it brings him to the realization that the constant sight of the older's absurdly slim waist and well built arms was definitely affecting him, no matter how much he'd try to deny it.

"It's been so long since we've went on a romantic walk through the park…" Hyunjin says, sighing dreamily. "Wanna change that?" His eyes light up when he asks the question, probably realizing by now that Jeongin is physically incapable of ever saying no to him.

For the sake of his already fragile mental health, Jeongin ignores the fact Hyunjin called it romantic, he's just joking around, isn't he? Don't all good friends joke about going on dates and romantic walks?

"Sure, I'll go get dressed." Jeongin says before happily skipping to his room, hastily picking out some jorts and a large shirt like the fashion icon he is.

Hyunjin is also dressed in his outside clothes when Jeongin appears from the bedroom, the older acknowledges him with a raise of his eyebrows.

"Looking good, Jeonginnie." Hyunjin says, looking him up and down with an unreadable expression akin to awe, almost reverent. Maybe it was just his feelings clouding his judgement.

They put their shoes on and walk out, trudging down the stairs and exiting the building, instantly being hit by a wave of hot air as they did.

"Jesus fuck-" Jeongin wheezes, squinting to protect his eyes from the heat.

"Yeah I agree." Hyunjin sounds just as affected by it. "It's cooler under the trees though, we'll be fine."

Jeongin just shrugs, he figures Hyunjin's right.

The heat becomes overbearing quickly, settling over them like a thick blanket, heavy and impossible to ignore. Fortunately Hyunjin spots a convenience store nearby.

"We could go inside and get a few stuff, and also cool down a bit, since I'm assuming they have air conditioning." He takes Jeongin by the hand and hurriedly walks them over to the entrance, getting blasted with cool air as soon as the doors open.

"Told you." Hyunjin smirks wickedly, emboldened by his correct assumption. Jeongin can't believe he was getting this cocky over correctly guessing that the convenience store had AC. He also can't believe just how overwhelmingly endearing he found it.

The older man doesn't ask any questions, just picks Jeongin's favorite drink, and something for himself. After being around someone for so long, it's only fair to remember the small things about them.

The park is almost empty, which isn't surprising considering the temperature outside. Jeongin is still in disbelief he let Hyunjin drag him outside without putting up a fight, it's very unlike him.

The lush trees shelter them from the sunlight, only allowing a few warm rays to pass and illuminate the pavement a shining gold, some light makes it to them too, it paints beautiful patterns on Hyunjin's shoulder, and Jeongin can't look away.

As the light dances and dapples the older's skin, Jeongin is lulled into a state similar to hypnosis, laser focused on the gentle shift of light on his arms and face, similar to a tattoo. It's odd how Hyunjin always turns the simplest things utterly breathtaking.

It's silent between them, making Jeongin think about just how weird the predicament he had found himself in really was. He's in love with his best friend, that's obvious, but he feels like it's more than just love, there's also an unwavering loyalty, trust, and a wild admiration thrown into the mix. It's not surprising that Jeongin always feels somewhat overwhelmed by feelings whenever he's with Hyunjin.

It passes quietly — their walk. He catches Hyunjin looking at him weird another three times, he thinks nothing of it, just excitedly points to a colorful butterfly perching on a daisy near the footpath, Hyunjin fawns over it and pulls his camera out to snap a picture of it, happily showing it to Jeongin, who's so crushed by his love for him he feels like bursting out in tears in the middle of the park. Though he quickly collects himself when he sees Hyunjin's pointed the camera at him, snapping a picture before he manages to strike a pose. Hyunjin doesn't show him the picture, just assures him that he looks amazing. Jeongin believes him, because why shouldn't he?

If Hyunjin ever tries to initiate a conversation, Jeongin doesn't notice — still too caught up in his thoughts to figure out if the other man wanted to tell him anything.

They don't say much on their way back either, Jeongin does find it a bit suspicious, but shuts up about it. Maybe Hyunjin's just got a lot on his mind. He won't push.

Hyunjin still keeps silent as they part ways, the older giving Jeongin a crushing hug and waving goodbye. He didn't even notice that he had taken his backpack, but it's fine. Jeongin can stay alone for the rest of the day, he'll survive.

He doesn't expect the crushing, soul-deep anguish that hits him as soon as he locks the door. Jeongin is reduced to a mess of tears and choked-off sobs within seconds — because it hurts. He had ignored and shrugged off any negative feeling, cause he was convinced he didn't care if Hyunjin loved him or not — but he did, he cares so much, about everything, so knowing that he's made the awful mistake of falling for his best friend hurts, maybe more than it should.

He doesn't heave himself up from the floor only after he's calmed down a bit, only to walk into his bedroom, bury his face in the pillow Hyunjin slept on, and start crying even harder. It's painful, so painful that the mental pain has translated into physical, his whole body aches. It's ridiculous, but there isn't much Jeongin can do about it. He doesn't plan on ever telling Hyunjin that he's in love with him, he'd rather keep him as a friend than lose him entirely.

The sun crests and dips beneath the horizon, and Jeongin is still in his bed — miserable and genuinely inconsolable. He doesn't have any tears left to cry, so he falls asleep choking on his sobs.

The next few weeks pass by in a fuzzy blur, Hyunjin almost drowns him in a water fight one week, they go to the aquarium and the museum another week, and to a karaoke bar the next. Jeongin doesn't really know when all the time's passed, but it's the last week of August, and he's heading to Hyunjin's place for the last time this summer. It's a bittersweet thing.

He thinks back to all the fun and not so fun things they've done in these past three months. His hair is still blonde, and the blue stain has persisted too, now faded into a dull green. The skin on his nose is peeling, a reminder of their beach date. He's still got the bracelet they made together, the one that matches Hyunjin's perfectly. The wristband he was given at the aquarium is still on his wrist, the turquoise contrasting with tanned skin, his black nail polish is slowly chipping off, too.

Most importantly, he's still madly in love with Hyunjin. He knows that'll never change, no matter how much time will pass.

He's had so much fun this summer, it breaks his heart knowing it's almost over, that they won't be seeing each other as often anymore. He'll push through though, if it means he gets to see Hyunjin again.

Their apartments aren't really all that far from each other, Jeongin's glad they were both using their brains while picking out their homes, cause now he doesn't have to walk in the heat for too long to make it to Hyunjin's place.

He climbs his way up to the second floor and rings the doorbell, and Hyunjin opens the door before he even manages to put his hand down.

"Hi dear!" Hyunjin beams at him, capturing him in a hug and kissing his forehead softly. Jeongin ignores the butterflies wildly thrashing around in his ribcage — hard enough to bruise. "How are you?" His smile is so bright it nearly blinds Jeongin. He loves him so much.

"Hi, Hyunjin-hyung." His voice is thin from the sheer force Hyunjin is hugging him with. "I'm doing great! Kinda sad that it's our last hangout this summer, but I'm excited regardless." Hyunjin probably realizes he's nearly asphyxiating him and lets go, holding onto his shoulders instead. Jeongin exhales heavily. "How are you, hyung?" He gives him a gentle smile, hoping he doesn't look as smitten as he feels.

"I'm good too. Missed you lots, baby." He kisses his forehead again.

Jeongin is trying his absolute best not to think about the older's behavior, pretending not to hear he's literally called him baby. Hyunjin's acting weird, he can't deny it — he just wants to find out why he's acting like this — he doesn't plan on asking though, it'd be too easy to do so.

"Glad to hear you're alright Hyunjinnie." Jeongin's ears are definitely a different color from his face, Hyunjin is nice enough not to mention it. "What're we doing today?" He's once again been left in the dark, the older not disclosing any of his plans for today.

"Well uhh…Come to my bedroom?" Jeongin's eyes widen comically when he hears the question, then he quirks an eyebrow because that sounded insane.

"I'm kicking you out if you look at me like that again." Hyunjin threatens, sounding overly serious. "You know that's not what I meant."

"Yeah, yeah of course, my bad." Jeongin lifts his hands up in mock surrender, not wanting to upset him.

"Go wait in my room." Hyunjin instructs. "Want a beer?"

"Oh sure, thank you." Jeongin shrugs before walking to Hyunjin's room.

Jeongin loves it here, the warm tones of the decor, the array of plants and paintings all around makes Hyunjin's apartment feel like a true safe space, as if the man's presence wasn't already safe enough.

When Hyunjin returns with two cans of beer, Jeongin is still confused as to what they're doing.

"How long do you think you can stay still for?" Hyunjin asks — weird question to ask, he answers it honestly anyway.

"Dunno, like half an hour max, I think? Why are you asking?" Now he's properly confused, what does he need to stand still for?

"Hmmm…" Hyunjin looks deep in thought. "That'll do, sure. Get on the be-don't make that face." He deadpans. "I want to draw you."

"Oh!" Out of all the things Hyunjin could've said, this was the least expected one. Hyunjin — the perfect-basically-everyone's muse Hyunjin wanted to draw him? It made no sense. Jeongin should've learned how to draw to be able to make the most elaborate paintings of him instead, he deserved it more.

"What?" Jeongin was in shock. Hyunjin looked serious though, maybe he wasn't making fun of him and actually wanted to draw him. "Oh you're serious." He exhaled, nearly choking.

"Of course I'm serious?" Hyunjin looked mildly offended that Jeongin thought he wasn't. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"No I'm sorry it's just-" He laughed nervously "You're such a talented artist so I wasn't expecting you to want to draw me, that's all." He shrugs, sheepish.

"Oh, Jeonginnie, you're prettier than anything else I've ever drawn, if anything, I'm honored you've agreed to let me draw you."

Jeongin is once again convinced he's dreaming, that he's about to wake up any second and remain deeply hurt and disappointed, he pinches himself, just for good measure, and is thoroughly shocked to find out that he is, in fact, very awake.

"How do you want me to sit hyung?" Jeongin asks, no point in stalling.

Hyunjin takes a moment to think about it, reaching in his desk drawer for his sketchbook and pencil. He rolls his desk chair closer to the bed and continues staring for a good five minutes before saying anything.

"Lean back on your hands and look at me." He decides, softly guiding Jeongin, who feels like he's about to pass out.

The pose isn't hard to hold, really — he's sitting on the edge of the bed, his feet touching the plush carpet, and he's leaned back, just how Hyunjin told him. Holding the pose isn't hard, but holding eye contact? With his best friend who also happens to be the love of his life? Impossible. He's not surviving.

Hyunjin looks seriously concentrated as he starts drawing, a true professional, Jeongin is impressed. From where he sitting, he can't see what Hyunjin's doing, so he focuses on the short lines he's drawing, lets the sound of the pencil dragging against paper soothe him.

It's a terribly hard task, keeping eye contact. At first, he manages somehow, but after ten minutes, Hyunjin's intense gaze burns him like fire, and his ears turn bright red for the second time today.

"I told you to look at me, didn't I?" Hyunjin chastises, shaking his head.

"Yeah sorry, m'sorry." Jeongin is trying, he really is, but it's hard to make eye contact when Hyunjin is looking at him like that. He doesn't know if his gaze is so powerful because he's focused, or for other reasons Jeongin isn't sure he wants to know.

It feels truly agonizing having to sit still and just stare at Hyunjin, who was skillfully sketching him out, it also is quite frustrating, since the older wouldn't let him move at all. He raised his hand up to scratch his eye earlier and Hyunjin looked at him like he's just cursed his entire bloodline, so he's staying still.

Or at least he's trying to stay still, but it's been almost an hour since he's been sitting there, and it's getting progressively harder to look Hyunjin in the eyes — and his hands are numb from leaning on them. He's deathly bored too, cause Hyunjin hasn't been saying much. Jeongin understands he's concentrating, that doesn't mean he isn't bored out of his mind.

"Hyung." Jeongin dares after spending another ten minutes contemplating whether or not he should ask.

Hyunjin just lifts his head from the sketchbook and raises an eyebrow, urging him to speak.

"Uhhh h-how long till you're done? I'm sorry for asking, but I might crawl out of my skin if I have to keep staring at you like this for much longer." This was embarrassing — Jeongin was embarrassing. What kind of model was he? He can't hold eye contact, can't stay still either. Hyunjin should've picked someone else to draw, he regrets accepting the older's offer.

"I'm almost done. You can get up and move around a bit if you want." Hyunjin suggests, looking at him with a poorly concealed fondness in his eyes. "I'll fix it up a bit in the meantime."

"Thank you Hyunjin-hyung." Jeongin said, getting up and rolling his stiff shoulders, he walks over to Hyunjin's desk and picks up a beer can, opening it and taking a generous swig before sitting down on the bed again.

"D'you have something stronger? Maybe if you get me drunk enough I'll be able to look you in the eye." He asks, giggling, but he means it. Shame isn't really a thing when he's drunk.

"Nuh uh, we're getting drunk after we finish here. You can't stay still while fully awake, you're so jittery when you're drunk I'd have to tie you down."

Well that is…a statement. Jeongin pretends — once again, that Hyunjin's overly affectionate pet names and innuendos don't affect him. Because they don't, they're only jokes anyways, so why should he let them get to him? Hyunjin loves him as a friend, nothing more, so Jeongin should get over his stupid crush and stop putting their friendship at risk. He wishes it'd be that easy — that he could just will his feelings away and never have to worry about them anymore. But it's never that easy, since the entirety of the universe seems to be against him.

Jeongin takes another sip before telling Hyunjin he's ready to sit on his ass and do nothing again, the older nodding happily and getting back to work immediately. He's grateful Hyunjin doesn't try to initiate a conversation, Jeongin's too afraid he'd say something very stupid and regrettable if he was asked anything, so he's enjoying the silence, trying to fight off the intrusive thoughts telling him to just confess, tell Hyunjin you love him. What could possibly go wrong?

Jeongin shakes his head, physically trying to shake the idea off. He can't deal with all these things right now — ignoring Hyunjin's piercing gaze was already overwhelming enough, but having to fight both the increasing tipsiness and the almost irresistible urge to tell him he loves him on top of that felt like pure torture.

It feels like he's lived ten lives by the time Hyunjin announces he's done with the drawing. Jeongin jumps up and squeals with joy, then realizes just how ridiculous he looked doing that and blushes violently, face redder than a tomato, though the alcohol's probably helped with that.

"Can i see?" Jeongin asks, already getting up to catch at least a glimpse of the masterpiece Hyunjin has most certainly created.

"Well of course baby, it's yours anyway." Hyunjin smiles brightly before handing him the thick piece of paper, which he accepts gracefully, still bewildered nonetheless.

It was taking Jeongin quite some time to process what he just heard. Hyunjin was giving up the literal piece of art he's made to Jeongin like it meant nothing, like it was just some silly doodle. He knew that Hyunjin intended for this to be a nice gift that would cheer him up at least a bit. Jeongin starts crying instead.

"Woah woah, what happened?" Hyunjin approaches him like one would a scared animal, slowly and carefully, leaning down to get a good look at his face.

Jeongin just sniffles before nodding, tears wetting his face. "Yeah, m'alright, I just really love your drawing hyung." He admits, wiping his eyes to better examine it. The older man had nailed every little detail, every fold in the loose fabric of his pants and shirt, every single mole as well. He had drawn so many of them that it left Jeongin slightly confused, to the point he had to get up to stare at himself in the bathroom mirror, just to confirm that he did actually have a mole on his neck. How did Hyunjin know about it, when even Jeongin himself had no idea of its existence?

"It's…it's gorgeous, really. You've paid so much attention to all the details." Jeongin heaves a breath. "I love it so much Hyunjinnie, thank you, you're amazing." Before he could even think about it, he was already wrapping his arms around Hyunjin's shoulders and shoving his face against his neck, leaving it shiny with tears.

"I'm glad you like it Jeongin dear." Hyunjin huffed, cause Jeongin was still holding onto him like a limpet, the older kissed the top of his head, turning all his limbs to mush and getting him to let go. "We can do this again sometime if you'd like. I really enjoyed drawing you."

If Jeongin's entire complexion wouldn't have been an unnatural red already, he would've definitely blushed even more, his whole face was burning with how flustered he was. Hyunjin liked drawing him? It sounded like a fever dream. He really was drunker than he thought.

One can of beer usually wasn't enough to get him drunk, so he really doesn't understand why he's feeling so dizzy, it's not that he minds it though, it does a great job at taming the horrible shame he's feeling.

"Ohhh, so you likee having me as your muse?" He slurs and is instantly hit with a wave of regret that wakes him up a bit — cause it's such a weird thing to say, and definitely not something normal to ask your friend.

"Of course you're my muse Jeonginnie." Hyunjin sweetly ruffles his hair. " You're the only friend I've ever drawn, really."

Hearing the older's sweet words makes Jeongin hop onto the bed face-first and kick his feet around, just to make sure he's properly embarrassed himself.

"I'm hungryyy." Jeongin whines from between the pillows, he knows by now that Hyunjin isn't going to cook anything, for the sake of his kitchen, and his apartment — Jeongin still wants something to eat though.

"I have some instant noodles if you want to have those." Hyunjin suggests, and Jeongin jumps up so fast it nearly gives him whiplash. He runs to the kitchen without another word, leaving Hyunjin behind.

Hyunjin makes it to the kitchen moments after him and pulls out a pot, which he gently sets on the stove after pouring a decent amount of water in. He instructs Jeongin to sit at the table and look pretty while Hyunjin does all the work, since he's way too far gone to be able to actually help.

Now that it's gotten dark outside, they've had to turn some light on, so the only part of the apartment that isn't shrouded in complete darkness is right above the stove, where Hyunjin is staring maybe a bit too intensely at the pot of simmering water.

"Can i get a glass of water, please?" Jeongin asks, deciding he's has enough of the numbing haze the beer has thrown his mind in.

"Sure thing, baby." Hyunjin reaches up to get a cute, fox themed mug — it belongs to Jeongin and Jeongin only, it makes him feel special. He's also trying his hardest to figure out why exactly Hyunjin has started calling him pet names — it's not the first time this has happened, but until now he'd use them sparingly, unlike today, when Jeongin is convinced he's been called 'baby' more than he's been called by his name. He could see himself getting used to it.

The alcohol induced dizziness slowly ebbs away as he sips on the cold water, which means he's able to chat more about his drawing with the older. Hyunjin passionately explains how he figures out the perspectives, how his ideas come to him, and how he's developed a sixth sense for noticing his subject's smallest details, how he takes advantage of his attentiveness to help him make more accurate drawings — Jeongin is starstruck, deeply captivated by what Hyunjin's telling him, maybe if he listens close enough he'll be able to develop some decent drawing skills of his own.

The instant noodles disappear quickly as they appeared, since they both were hungry, it doesn't take them long to finish eating, and they return to Hyunjin's room to do something.

Once they get back to his room, Hyunjin hops up on the windowsill and takes out a pack of cigarettes. They didn't turn on any of the lights so the only things illuminating the room are the moon's rays and the flame from the older's lighter. With his cigarette lit, he turns away from Jeongin, who's taken up his space on the bed, and looks outside, sighing dreamily.

The sight in front of him resembles a painting. Jeongin is breathless, enthralled by the sight of Hyunjin's lithe frame perched on the windowsill. If he'd have the words, he'd wax poetics til the end of his days about how truly enrapturing he is, with his thin cigarette held between delicate fingers, wafting smoke around him, like a sheer blanket covering him just slightly.

Jeongin feels insane, the sight seems overly intimate, like he's intruding.

He only realizes he's made some sort of sound when the older turns to look at him. Jeongin can't see his face through the darkness, just his silhouette, haloed by the moon's silver light.

"You alright?" Hyunjin asks, taking a drag and exhaling it softly out the window.

"Ye-yeah." He nods — feels himself somehow growing dizzy again, despite having finished his beer a while ago, it's like he's hypnotized by Hyunjin's voice.

"Are you really though?" He asks, slowly getting down from the windowsill and putting his cigarette out before walking at an agonizingly slow pace towards Jeongin, like a predator stalking its prey.

"Huh-hyung what do you mean? I told you I'm alright."

He was genuinely confused now. Why was Hyunjin acting like this? Did he find out Jeongin was in love with him? Did he realize that the younger had feelings for him, and was planning to end things between them right then and there?

Jeongin was fucked.

"Do you think I don't notice the way you look at me? The way you let me hug you, even though you claim to hate it? The way you blush when I look at you? You're so obvious, Jeongin." He's stopped walking towards him, but his gaze still holds that burning intensity, Jeongin cannot look at him — he fears he'll get burned if he does. So he keeps his eyes down, looks at the rapid rise and fall of his chest with each heaved breath.

"Wha- I don't know what you're talking about." He stuttered, red in the face — not from bashfulness or from being drunk, but because he was so embarrassed he could cry. He had now scared his friend away, just because he made the mistake of falling for him. Hyunjin would probably go on to tell the others that Jeongin was a creep too. He had ruined everything.

Hyunjin walks to the edge of the bed and practically jumps on Jeongin, who was now struggling to keep his breathing even, the older was straddling him, and Jeongin felt like he was dying because their faces were so close.

"You look so cute when you're scared." Hyunjin giggles before peeling himself off the younger, letting him breathe and try to regulate his racing heartbeat. What the fuck was that?

"Okay but I was serious when i said you're obvious, like obvious is an understatement for the way you act." He was laughing like this entire conversation wasn't actual torture for Jeongin.

"I'm so so sorry Hyunjin-hyung," He felt a string of tears running down his cheeks. What has he done? "I'll just leave you alone, I'm sorry for making it weird." He wiped his tears with the back of his hands and made a move to get up, but Hyunjin jumped on him again, pinning him in place.

Jeongin just shot him a miserable, bewildered look — he had never been more confused in his life.

"Do you really think I'd admit that I know you're in love with me if I wasn't in love with you too?" Hyunjin asked, looking like he was about to start crying too.

"Wait-what." Jeongin was left winded by the older's confession, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Are you serious?" He asks, just to be sure.

"Of course I'm serious Jeonginnie, like have you seen yourself? You're literally perfect." Hyunjin said, gesturing towards him. "You're pretty, unbelievably smart and so fucking sweet and adorable there was no way I wasn't going to fall for you eventually."

"So you're…in love? With me?" It was a dumb thing to ask, cause Hyunjin had literally said just that, but he was still reeling from earlier, so it was way harder to process anything he was hearing.

"Yes you dumbass, I am madly in love with you, have been for a while now."

"Oh, cool." It was taking him a while to form a proper thought.

"YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ME??" He asked, dumbfounded, after staring at the ceiling for three agonizingly long minutes.

"I regret ever calling you smart." Hyunjin facepalms, looking genuinely dissapointed.

"I'm in love with you too, Hyunjinnie." He admits, being turned into a blushing mess for the thousandth time that night.

"I know sweetheart, I love you." Hyunjin says before leaning in to kiss him.

The kiss is everything he's ever imagined, everything he's ever wanted. Hyunjin's lips are impossibly soft, and he's got a hand in Jeongin's hair to move him around as he wishes. Jeongin is pliant, boneless in his hold. He's been dreaming about this moment for months, years really — he's thought about kissing Hyunjin even before he knew he was in love with him.

Hyunjin kisses him so gently, it reminds Jeongin of the cheesy rom-coms he'd watch with him. That also makes him want to cry.

The kiss gradually deepens, and Jeongin can taste the cigarette smoke in Hyunjin's mouth, can taste the shitty convenience store instant noodles and the cheap beer in his spit. He feels drunk on it, the taste of Hyunjin more dizzying than the alcohol. Jeongin can't get enough, greedily worming his curious tongue along the older's teeth, committing the moment to memory.

"I love you, Hyunjin." Jeongin breathes out after they part to catch their breath, a long string of spit breaks and splatters on his chin, making it glisten in the pale moonlight — it's gross, but he's so blinded by his love for Hyunjin that he doesn't really care anymore.

"I love you too, Jeongin dear. You have no idea how much I love you." Hyunjin admits before kissing him again, still soft, still gentle.

"I love you so much hyung, wanna be my boyfriend?" Jeongin asks when they break apart again.

"Of course I want to be your boyfriend. Thought I'd die waiting for you to ask." He laughs, which, in turn, makes Jeongin laugh too.

Just as their hysterical laughing fit dies down, Hyunjin almost falls off the bed, which just makes them laugh harder — Jeongin is one wheeze away from suffocating.

"God we're so stupid." Hyunjin is still recovering from laughing so much, his breathing's labored and his whole face is red — he's so cute Jeongin will literally eat him if he doesn't stop.

"Yeah we are." He nods approvingly. "At least we're stupid together." He whispers and kisses Hyunjin's forehead like he's had the older do it to him so many times.

They fall asleep just like that, holding each other tightly, whispering sweet nothings in each other's ear, and giggling uncontrollably.

Just before falling asleep, he realizes that Hyunjin's plans to get him to enjoy summer had worked wonderfully.

Jeongin loves summer, but he loves Hyunjin even more.