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The wind is knocked out of him, and his step falters.
God, summer is the worst. The sparring routines move earlier in the day, but they still run into the late morning, where the sun beats on the back of their necks and their sweat sticks to them like glue. This should be mindlessly easy for Levi – the humidity is starting to exhaust him. Just one year of this, and he can go straight to the Corps.
His opponent - sort of lanky, with thin wrists and forearms – never puts his guard down. Most of his sparring partners are twitchy, he has a reputation by now, but this one is particularly cautious. Levi can tell he’s squeezing his fists too tightly, and his stiff posture makes him unstable from the back and sides.
They’re all the same size now, but he won’t have that luxury for much longer. He turned fourteen last winter, and some of his fellow cadets have already begun their growth-spurts – let on by their sudden clumsiness, now inches taller than they were last week. Of course this is no problem for Levi – he’s been taking down grown men since he was eight. It’s his own handicap that worries him. Every day is a step closer to… that.
The tight bandages around his chest seem to have delayed it a little. For forever, he hopes. Of course it comes with downsides – in this damn heat he can barely claw a breath, and that night, he tosses and turns, tender in every position. He doesn’t dare take them off, not even in the darkness of the barracks, and he makes sure to bathe only when he’s sure nobody will catch him. One night without them, and all his work could be for nothing.
-
Hange has been watching him. He does a damn good job of hiding it, but any blow to the torso has him wince. When he stumbles, the other cadets seem to hold their breath, silently cheering on their brothers up against the highest-scoring trainee amongst the 97th – and praying they aren’t assigned to spar with him next. Of course though, she knows what to look for – and doubts that anyone but her and Erwin is aware.
They’re here to advise the Commandant, after their most recent expeditions. With her research on titan biology and the regular surveys or the area, she’s responsible for preparing guidance under Erwin for this year’s cadets. Now though, she has well enough free time to watch Erwin’s pet project. It goes without saying, Erwin has good taste in personal recruits.
Hah, that would include her, she supposes. Not only that, she can tell Levi knows she’s watching him – it’s like he keeps track of every breath around him, the way he scans the room and stares down any soul that meets his eye.
His recent exhaustion concerns her though. Not that he’s been slacking, of course not. Levi is a highly promising recruit, and she worries that undue stress on his growing body could put him at risk in the future. She knows the risks well enough herself. And maybe… she feels a kinship with him.
“If I may, Commander”, she begins. “I believe I have a solution to Ackerman’s situation”
-
Levi hasn’t spoken to the Commander since that day, but now the Commandant leads him through the onsite academy. The Commander is seated at the head of the desk in one of the smaller service rooms, beside him a person he recognises as one of the Survey Corps.
That day, Erwin requested personally that he join the cadets, and said that he would be grateful to have his skills on the Corps. Since then Levi has been working to the knuckle, but his condition is catching up to him. The pain is constant.
“Ackerman, please, take a seat,” he gestures. “This is Survey Corps Hange. I will leave you two to get acquainted.” With that, he stands, leaves to shut the door behind him.
Levi looks her up and down. She’s a little odd-looking. Strong, almost handsome features. It’s only her long hair and slender fingers that give her away as a woman. Her eyes shine intensely from behind her glasses. She clears her throat. “Before I joined the military, I was a lot like you, Levi.
“Even a few years ago, women weren’t expected to become doctors. We were caretakers. The extent of our competency was pinned to wives tales and herbalism. Due to this, our understanding of medicine suffered.” Her eyebrows furrow. “I trained as a clinician for two years, before I started here,” she explains.
“In that time… I had to pretend to be a boy.”
Levi’s blinks at her dimly.
“Ah- What I mean to say is…” her tone shifts. “I have a proposition for you. Considering my education, I believe I am capable of permanently resolving your… situation, if you wish.
“So, Levi…” their eyes meet. Her gaze is oddly piercing.
“Are you a woman, or a man?”
-
Hange’s talents are surprising, Erwin has no doubt in that. Her experience lends itself to unique solutions in almost every situation. It’s one of the reasons he chose her for his squad.
And Levi is extremely promising as a recruit, even without taking his background into account. If Hange says she can do this, Erwin trusts in her.
-
It’s half a day’s travel towards Wall Sina, to one of the larger cities. Home to some of the Engineer Corps, and thus, the capital for all science within the military forces. Even as a first year Corps member, Hange is greeted well.
The late hour lends itself to privacy. The other Survey members stand outside, and Hange leads Levi herself through a mess of winding halls. They pass by classrooms, store-rooms and laboratories until they come to their destination. Hange ushers Levi in before locking the door behind them.
The moonlight through the window illuminates shelves of books, bottles, and equipment Levi can’t identify. Hange busies herself with various cupboards around the room. A large metal table sits off to one side. There are small dishes, with half-burned candles. Hange brings over a tray.
Lighting the candles, the contents become clear - jars of coloured liquid, various metal implements, one of which Levi knows to be a scalpel.
“Please, sit,” Hange taps the metal table. A cloth mask muffles her voice slightly.
Levi does so, and begins to unbutton his shirt. It isn’t easy - his hands are shaking.
Once his shirt is off, she reaches for the bandages around his chest. He grits his teeth. They leave red rashes across his torso as she unwraps, as well as revealing bruising across his ribs. She hands him a small cloth, that looks to be stained darkly, before guiding him to lie down. “I want you to hold this over your mouth and nose. You’ll be awake, but this should help with the pain.”
Hange already explained the procedure to him. Levi tries to calm his mind. The cloth stinks, and it’s making him dizzy.
Cold fingers press into the soft flesh of his chest, making him jolt in surprise. He grips the edge of the table with his free hand. The ceiling starts to blur above him, and Hange’s voice becomes a drone.
A sharp pain emerges from his rib, causing him to whimper. God fucking damn it, pinching and tugging, his skin is numb but the sensation is unmistakeable.
Just… just think about getting stabbed. Hah. Yeah, living in the slums, pickpocketing enough for a loaf of bread, getting caught. An inch-long scar on his thigh. More across his hands, mistakes when training, and up his forearms from taking hits. Man, this is nothing.
The other side, he knows what to expect. That, or he’s high enough that he can’t feel as much. Once it’s over, Hange wraps him back up with a thick gauze and helps him down from the table. His knees are so weak, he grips onto her for dear life.
They shuffle back the way they came. Feeling is starting to come back to Levi’s legs, but now every step jolts through his chest. Hange puts her arm under his shoulder to support him.
“Hange, sir,” he mumbles, “are you a man too? Or a woman?”
She is quiet for a while, but as they approach the exit, she speaks. “I’m not a man, not like you. But I didn’t mind it,” she ponders out loud. “I suppose I would say I’m both.”
The moonlight illuminates their path back, the horses at a trot so the cart runs smoothly over the dirt roads. Levi’s presence beside her becomes a weight, until his head is completely resting on her shoulder. His breathing is soft, but still laboured. It should only be a few more weeks of this until he’s back to training.
Are you a man too? No, she thinks. I’m just Hange.