Seo Jun-tae was, to be frank, not the smartest person in the world. Despite his nerdy appearance, his grades were barely in the top half of the class, and the only reason he needed glasses was from reading too much manga in the dark as a child.

And perhaps he was not the strongest either. Even after the Eunjang vs. Union fight, he learnt nothing from Si-eun, Hu-min, or Hyun-tak's very physically agile way of living.

He couldn't really cook, he bordered on being tone-deaf, and, okay, yes, Jesus, fine, he wasn't skilled in many of the things people considered important in life.

But when it came to recognizing romantic tension between two emotionally repressed boys with tragic backstories? He was a god damn. Prodigy.

"I'm being serious!" he exclaimed, dropping the kimchi from his chopsticks in the process. "There has to be something going on between those two."

Hyun-tak and Hu-min, sitting across him at the lunch table, both groaned and put zero effort into shutting down their friend in an even somewhat polite way.

"You! Let go of that Su-ho and Si-eun nonsense," Hu-min argued, still chewing his food.

"Why should we trust anything that comes from your mouth?" Hyun-tak pointed his chopsticks accusingly at Jun-tae. "Last week, you said our homeroom teacher and the P.E. teacher were secretly dating because they stood next to each other during assembly!"

"That was different—they had the same keychain—this is real!!" Jun-tae whined, getting more and more flustered by the second.

"You're lucky Si-eun isn't here to put up with this," Hyun-tak said, shoveling rice in his mouth.

"Still a goddamn asskisser, that guy. Spending the lunch break talking with a teacher," Hu-min muttered.

"He wants guidance to get into Hankuk, you know," Hyun-tak replied. "You're just saying that because you have zero chance at getting into any of the good universities—"

Hu-min snapped his head, "Gotak, you bastard, I could easily—!"

"Guys!" Jun-tae interrupted dramatically, way too dramatically, so dramatically that all the nearby tables turned in a shock to look at who the crazy boy with glasses was, who splashed most of his soup onto his tray because he slammed the table with too much pizzazz.

"Wow..." Hu-min said awkwardly.

Jun-tae winced, giving a quick nod in apology in every direction, waiting for everyone to go back to their own business, before shooting his face closer to his friends, body leaning on the table, as if to tell a crazy secret. "I have proof."

Hu-min raised an eyebrow, skeptical. "What proof?"

And out of nowhere, Jun-tae pulled out an A4 notebook. On the front was written "Romance Analysis", opening the page headlined largely "Yeon Si-eun and Ahn Su-ho". A large heart was drawn around the two names, and bullet points filled both pages.

"Oh my god, you're a stalker," Hyun-tak muttered, eyes wide.

"Listen," Jun-tae smiled as if he had cracked a case. "Ahn Su-ho and Si-eun are hanging out almost every day these days, after school and well into the late evening. Yes, sometimes we come too, but sometimes Si-eun says that he has someone important to visit, and it's literally just Su-ho! Doesn't that mean they must be secretly dating?"

Hyun-tak and Hu-min both blinked at Jun-tae. Then at each other.

"Remember when you used to be ashamed of liking manga? And BL? What happened?" Hyun-tak asked Jun-tae, a note of longing nostalgia in his voice.

"Listen," said Jun-tae earnestly, leaning even more forward somehow. "They have all the signs. Intense eye contact. Those small smiles that always look like inside jokes between only the two of them. Seriously, they hang out every day!"

"They're just close," said Hyun-tak. "They've been best friends since the beginning of high school."

"Not to mention," Hu-min chimed in sternly, "Ahn Su-ho was in a coma. For years. They've probably just missed each other."

Hyun-tak nodded, and the two of them continued eating their lunch.

Jun-tae narrowed his eyes.

Hell. No.

He would not be gaslit out of the truth. And he was going to prove that he wasn't a BL-brainrotted crazy person.

The espionage could not be explained as anything other than obvious, to the point it might've been too generous to be called espionage.

After school, Jun-tae had decided to secretly follow Si-eun, you know, for evidence. This wasn't stalking, by the way. He wouldn't do anything like that...

...?

A bus ride and a fairly long walk later, they somehow ended up at a stationary store. From behind a revolving rack of postcards, Jun-tae watched as Si-eun picked up a new mechanical pencil. He squinted. Hm... Si-eun was usually the type to use a pen. Suspicious.

Then Su-ho walked into the store, calmly striding straight up to Si-eun, not having to look for him at all. Jun-tae practically started vibrating. Psychic boyfriend sense?!

They didn't say anything at first. They just stood side by side, quietly browsing. Between them was the kind of silence that screamed, "I know your heart better than my own, and I would love nothing more than to begin this love with you, be it forbidden, for we are both boys."

Su-ho picked up a dark blue pen and handed it to Si-eun. Si-eun took it with a small smile, and they both walked over to the registers.

Caught. In. The act.

Jun-tae sprinted out of the store before they could see him, exploding into a fist-pump behind a vending machine. He shout-whispered to himself, "That's fluff!"

The next day after school, Jun-tae roped Hu-min and Hyun-tak into a very normal hangout that just so happened to occur right in the smack center of Mangwon Park, a place Si-eun and Su-ho would often meet.

When Si-eun told Jun-tae he was going to the park after school (upon being asked multiple times), Jun-tae knew he would have to follow.

"It's a stakeout," Jun-tae whispered from behind his drink.

"I thought you treated us to coffee because you liked and valued us as friends," Hyun-tak deadpanned.

Jun-tae was too busy watching to argue.

Si-eun was sitting on a bench, a good hundred-plus meters away. What was he doing? Was he simply out for air... or was he waiting for his lover?!

When Su-ho arrived, he was holding a scarf.

Si-eun smiled and waved, gesturing for Su-ho to sit down next to him. As Su-ho sat down, he messily wrapped the scarf around Si-eun before talking loudly and energetically about something the three friends couldn't hear. Si-eun would chime in or nod every few sentences.

Jun-tae elbowed Hu-min so hard he spat the coffee from his mouth onto his uniform blazer.

"You see that?! Boyfriend behavior!" he called, ignoring the accident he just caused.

"Hey, don't be stupid," Hu-min scoffed, also ignoring the accident. "That's Si-eun's scarf, look at the brand. It's the expensive one his mom got him. He probably just forgot it, so Su-ho's giving it back."

"And Su-ho just happened to bring it all the way here from his home and gently put it around his neck like in an anime?!"

"That wasn't gentle!" Hyun-tak exclaimed. "You're convincing yourself that friendly things are romantic. You wouldn't bat an eye if I wrapped a scarf around Baku."

Jun-tae froze, slowly taking another sip from his straw. "Yeah, um... I totally wouldn't..."

Across the way, Si-eun and Su-ho got up from the bench and walked away. Then Su-ho casually slung an arm around Si-eun's shoulder as they strolled down the path.

Hu-min froze. "Okay... Si-eun normally hates when someone walks with their arm around him."

Jun-tae lit up like a god damn advertisement board. "I've been saying!!"

"He hates it when you put your arm around him, Baku," Hyun-tak corrected. "To me, all of this just looks like friendship."

Jun-tae's eyes shot over. "What kind of friendship has this much lore?!" he hissed.

Even the next day, a Saturday when he was supposed to be relaxing and enjoying his day off from school, Jun-tae couldn't let the mystery go.

To find clues, he had been texting Si-eun all day, asking what he was up to. Now, in the late afternoon, after being left on delivered for seven hours, he opted for stalking Su-ho's Instagram account. At first, there was nothing, but after refreshing the app for a couple of minutes, something finally happened.

Jackpot! A story posted barely 30 seconds ago had been very conveniently geotagged at the Megabox cinema in Seongsu. The picture wasn't good, much too dark and unfocused to even portray that it was a cinema screen, but it was captioned with a sunglasses emoji, "About to watch a movie!"

And if it was posted before the movie, Jun-tae would get to ambush— no, um, he could go meet them!

Calculating how to find them was the hard part, but not impossible. If he made it in time to Seongsu and sat in disguise, waiting for people who finished their movies to exit, he could follow and find out what they were planning for later!

So after an hour of public transportation, and yet another hour of waiting at the cinema, he saw two familiar faces coming out of the cinema hall, laughing and talking as they through out their popcorn buckets. The sun had set, and it was completely dark outside by now. Quickly following from a short distance, Jun-tae quietly sneaked after them all the way to a convenience store with lots of outdoor seating.

As Si-eun and Su-ho were looking around the store, Jun-tae practically pushed his face against the window. He stared as they looked for snacks, his eyes following them excitedly as if this were a movie.

After they had paid for the items they had settled for, Jun-tae saw that Su-ho picked out a banana milk and opened it for Si-eun to drink. Now that... that was practically a confession.

"They think they're being subtle," Jun-tae whispered, breath fogging the glass, "but I was raised on subtext."

"Why are we here again?" Hyun-tak asked. He and Hu-min were squatting behind a table as part of the very dysfunctional surveillance team, having been texted a while ago by Jun-tae to come to Seongsu.

"To witness the truth," Jun-tae smiled suspiciously, ignoring the mutters coming from behind him.

Right then, Su-ho reached out to fix Si-eun's hoodie string. Si-eun then playfully pushed Su-ho on the shoulder, looking as if he were blushing. He was giggling. Yeon Si-eun was laughing, shyly!!

"That's action! That's romance!! I have to catch them in the act!!! I have to—!!!!" Jun-tae couldn't stand still. His feet jittered, and he had already put his hand on the door handle.

"Wait, Jun-tae—" Hyun-tak called, him and Hu-min both jumping up in panic to stop him.

But it was no use, Jun-tae had already sprinted in, Hu-min and Hyun-tak right behind, the bell above the door ringing loudly and catching the much-unneeded attention from Si-eun and Su-ho, both of them looking over in surprise.

"Ohmygodwhatacoincidence!!" Jun-tae laughed awkwardly, "What are you two doing here???"

"Hey. You sound crazy right now," Hu-min said through gritted teeth.

"Shopping for snacks," Su-ho said, happily raising the milk and plastic bag in his hands. "We felt a craving."

"Don't I know it!" Jun-tae said uptightly, wearing a large unnatural smile, trying too hard to be relatable. "What movie did you two see today?"

Si-eun raised an eyebrow.

"How did you know we saw a movie?" he asked.

"U-um," Jun-tae stuttered. "Su-ho posted it on his story, of course!"

Su-ho nodded, and Si-eun then casually sipped his banana milk. "Well, we were gonna watch that new movie with IU, but Su-ho really likes Marvel, so we saw Deadpool & Wolverine instead."

"Oh my god, that's foreplay in my world," Jun-tae muttered, so quickly it might've dissolved in the air.

"Huh?" Su-ho asked.

"I said that's foreplay in my world," Jun-tae repeated, louder and clearer.

"Oh... um, okay..." Si-eun blinked.

Hyun-tak ran his hand down his face, and Hu-min shook his head in frustration, hands on his hips like an angry mother.

"We're... I think we're heading out now," said Su-ho. "See you guys."

"See you on Monday," Si-eun called to his friends with a wave and a small smile.

The three friends stood and stared as the two others walked out of the convenience store.

Then Hu-min slapped Jun-tae on the back of the head.

"That's foreplay in your world?!" he shouted. "Why the hell would you say that?"

"I panicked!"

"Look, Jun-tae, I'm not running around stalking our friends anymore, I'm done," Hyun-tak said, frustratedly, walking towards the door.

"But I've almost cracked the case!"

"What case?!" Hyun-tak groaned, "What are you, some detective?!"

"Wait, just— seriously, give me a second, I'm—" Jun-tae shut his eyes, putting his fingers to his temples to show maximum concentration. "I'm analyzing!"

"Oh, you're analyzing, huh?" Hu-min argued, "Tell me, what can you conclude from this?!"

Then Jun-tae opened his eyes with complete seriousness. "They have to be dating!"

"Oh my god," Hu-min muttered.

"No, but really, think about it!" Jun-tae gestured at him. "Su-ho was Si-eun's first friend. His first everything, probably! But Si-eun is the type of person who wouldn't realize his own feelings unless someone wrote them out in a textbook, and even then, he'd try to solve it like it was a math equation. So, of course, he never recognized it as love!"

Jun-tae then pointed dramatically at Hyun-tak like he was cross-examining a witness.

"And then Su-ho falls into a coma. Si-eun waits. Years go by. Years! You think a person does that for just anyone?! No! That kind of loyalty only happens when your heart is too stupid to realize it's already been stolen!"

Hyun-tak blinked. "That's bullsh—"

"But then! Su-ho wakes up. And suddenly, the feelings Si-eun thought of as pure friendship get brought up again. This time, Su-ho confesses, because he knew all along, and he realized in his deep sleep that life was too fragile not to live your true feelings! So he puts effort into the little things, like wrapping our dear Si-eun in a scarf, or buying him banana milk, or putting an arm around him like it's no big deal."

He sniffled, completely serious now.

"And Si-eun finally gets it. He finally realizes that everything he thought was just close friendship was something way deeper. That the ache in his chest wasn't loyalty. It was true love. And the reason he didn't date anyone else all this time... refused to go on blind dates with you guys... is because no one else was ever Ahn Su-ho."

Jun-tae turned back toward his friends with teary eyes and the self-righteous fury of someone who had met god. Then he snapped back to reality.

"...so, yeah. That's, um, my conclusion," he said shyly.

There was a pause.

"You should become an author," Hyun-tak deadpanned.

"Of fiction," Hu-min added.

Monday came rolling around, and eventually, Jun-tae couldn't take it anymore. The denial from his friends was making him feel like a conspiracy theorist, but at the same time, he couldn't just outright ask Si-eun if he was in a super romantic forbidden-style love with Ahn Su-ho.

...

Or...

Or could he?

No, he couldn't, because what if he was wrong? Then again, he was sure that he wasn't wrong. He felt it in every bone in his body that he was right. But was he willing to throw away two years of friendship with Si-eun, just to figure out if his BL crackpot theory was a reality?

...no... right?

Well...

...no, yeah. Yeah, he was.

Si-eun was quick to leave after school, giving a quick goodbye before rushing out the classroom door.

Jun-tae's eyes widened, realizing he had gone all day without having mustered the courage to quietly get a confession from Mr. Yeon himself. Shooting up from his chair and grabbing his bag, he tried to follow quickly, but was continuously stuck behind comically large groups of students all heading for the exit.

Pressed like sardines down the stairs, he finally got out the main door, running to the road, knowing that was where Si-eun was heading.

And not a moment too soon, he saw as Si-eun put on a motorcycle helmet, already sitting behind Ahn Su-ho on the bike, patting his shoulder to say he was ready for them to take off. Su-ho turned the keys, and the loud sound of the engine ignited.

"W-WAIT!" Jun-tae called, running the last short distance, prompting Su-ho to turn off the bike.

"Oh, Seo Jun-tae, what's up?" Su-ho said casually in a happy greeting.

Jun-tae planted his hands on his knees, exhausted from the embarrassingly short-distance chasing. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and tried sticking out his chest to exude confidence.

"I have a question," he said, as steadfastly as he could without breaking into tears.

"About what?" Si-eun questioned.

"Now, I know this may sound crazy—" Jun-tae coughed, "I just... I've been wondering, because Hu-min and Gotak seem to think I'm crazy, and maybe it may sound like that to you as well, but what I mean is—"

"What is it, Jun-tae?" Si-eun raised an eyebrow.

"Are you two dating?!" Jun-tae spat out, much too quickly, eyes wide and manic, as if his words were filled with the energy of every single bullet point in his notebook, because they were.

Si-eun blinked at him, he had that stupid puppy-dog-eyed deadpan that he always wore, the one that always made you feel a little bit stupid, because he just looked like he contained the entire world's information in that tiny body of his. His gaze, despite its neutral appearance, made you feel like an idiot court jester in his kingdom.

Jun-tae deflated.

What the hell had he done?

Had he totally ruined his first high school friendship? With Yeon Si-eun, the first person to ever protect him from the bullies? His saviour and comrade in this cruel world that stomped on the weak heroes? All because he loves BL and was convinced Yeon Si-eun was in a relationship with Ahn god damn Su-ho?!?!?????!!!!

But then Su-ho snorted. He looked back at Si-eun, grinning, "Hey. Can we tell him?"

Si-eun sighed, but wore a small smile. "Fine..."

"Good job, Seo Jun-tae, you cracked the case," Su-ho winked.

Jun-tae's head snapped toward him. "Wait!! What?! WHAT?????"

"We've been dating for months, not long after Su-ho woke up again. I was wondering who would notice first," Si-eun deadpanned.

"Oh my god??!" Jun-tae's jaw dropped, his arms flailing by his sides, his feet starting to jitter in place, "You're serious?! I'm not crazy?? I'm not an idiot the way Hu-min and Gotak say I am?!"

"Well, what do they say?" Si-eun questioned.

"That the two of you are just friends!!"

"Well," Si-eun turned to Su-ho with that same stupid unreadable face, soft eyes, barely a smile, and added, "Su-ho is my best friend."

And somehow, those words hurt so good, so much more. Su-ho was his best friend. What a painful fucking beautiful thing to say. Jun-tae pressed a hand to his chest and slowly fell to his knees.

"That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard," he said with strain.

"Glad we got your approval," Su-ho grinned. "We're off now, see ya!"

The two of them drove off, leaving Jun-tae, who was now lying on the asphalt.

The next day at school, Jun-tae slammed his notebook down on the lunch table with the weight of a PhD thesis. He was immediately met by the confused looks from Hu-min, Hyun-tak, and Si-eun.

"I told you," Jun-tae declared. "Boyfriends. Lovers. Soulmates! You may now kiss the investigator."

He sat down in his chair as Hyun-tak and Hu-min just stared at him.

"And this isn't outing him because I asked if I could announce it and he said yes!!" Jun-tae said smugly.

Hu-min and Hyun-tak's gazes both slowly turned to Si-eun.

"Si-eun...?" Hyun-tak inquired carefully.

Si-eun looked at Hu-min and Hyun-tak, wearing a nonchalant look.

"I was waiting to tell all of you because I didn't know how you'd react, but," he made eye contact with Jun-tae, whose smile went from ear to ear, wiggling his eyebrows seductively. Si-eun blinked, slightly confused. "Um, I didn't expect a reaction like that."

Hu-min dropped his spoon on his tray. Hyun-tak almost choked on his food. The two of them, just for a moment, had an insane look in their eyes, not unlike how Jun-tae had been looking the past couple of days.

"You're really a couple—?!"

"You like guys—?!"

"Hell no, you like that guy—?!"

"Guys," Si-eun interrupted, "It doesn't matter. Nothing has changed. I'm still me."

The presence of Jun-tae's everlasting grin seemed to fill the table. Even without looking at him, one could feel it was there, like it was an overenthusiastic grandparent hovering over your shoulder.

Hu-min rubbed his temple, letting out a frustrated groan like an old uncle.

"Fine," he sighed. "You were right."

Jun-tae laughed like a madman. "I accept your apology!!!!"

"I didn't apologize!" Hu-min exclaimed defensively.

Jun-tae grinned, "It was implied."

Epilogue

This was not how Yeon Si-eun planned to tell his friends, but he was glad it happened regardless. It was a clear weight off his chest, and also off Su-ho's.

The hardest part was keeping it together when they heard Jun-tae's long conspiracy about how they got together. Knowing what Jun-tae believed, and hearing Hu-min and Hyun-tak shut him down, it was impossible not to giggle from behind the convenience store shelves. The cherry on top was the sound of furious scribbling in a notebook once the two deniers had left.

Turns out Seo Jun-tae was not the only one sneaking around. Su-ho had to cover his mouth to not burst into laughter.

Tuesday after school, as the happy couple met up in their usual park, Yeon Si-eun recounted the awkward lunchtime coming out. Luckily, it didn't seem to affect any of his friendships. After all, he was still Yeon Si-eun.

"You have some special friends," Su-ho laughed.

Si-eun smiled thoughtfully.

"I like that he thought I didn't know," he said.

Su-ho looked over, raising an eyebrow.

"That I was in love with you," Si-eun clarified, his eyes gentle. "I always knew."

Su-ho blinked. "Even back then?"

"Mm," Si-eun nodded. "I know it may have seemed that I might've been oblivious to my feelings because of my lack of facial expressions or whatever... but I hope you know that I never doubted for a second it was anything other than love."

Su-ho's lower lip dropped. Si-eun had this way of always catching him off guard and making his heart flutter, making his face more red than that stripe on his horrible windbreaker. He tried to pull himself together again, trying his best at cracking a casual smile, "Even though I probably won't pass the CSAT this year?"

"I'll help you study next year. Just don't go into a coma again, hm?" Si-eun playfully but quietly raised an eyebrow.

"You really are something, Si-eun-ah," Su-ho laughed.

Si-eun chuckled. "Yeah, I know."