Work Text:
In times like this Kal finds himself in an uncommon position for himself. Namely, wondering why he’s doing this. This time, he knows the answer. He’s doing this for Luca because his Luca deserves everything and more and Kal is going to make it happen even if he extremely uncomfortable in the process.
Kal does not have the words for how little he’d want to do this normally, but since Luca wants it… Well, Kal’s not about to disappoint his boyfriend. Not like this even if his wonderful, patient, healing Luca has no idea what he’s planning.
Kal approaches the room everyone else uses to bathe and freezes. He can’t do this, can he? There’s water in that room. His one singular weakness. The only thing he fears. How’s he suppose to overcome a challenge so dire?
No. He can do this. Nothing stops him. Nothing. Not Fade nor poison nor an irate Dad. Not even himself in most situation. All he has to do is get in the door. Closing his eyes, Kal takes a deep breath. He can’t do this do this. It’s all for Luca and that’s more reason than he’s ever needed before.
One step. Two. Three. He’s at the door. Fear may be rising in his throat and threatening to paralyze him, but he’s still in control, for now. He can’t do this get a little closer, even if he doesn’t make much more progress today.
He gets the door open, managing another step more. Swallowing harshly, he manages half a step more before rushing back out the door. It’s alright, that’s more than he managed before.
Days later, Kal manages to slink his way back to the dreaded bath house, only to turn away with a sigh. He can’t do this, can he? There’s no way he’s ever going to get closer to that dreaded water than this, right?
“It would be nice if we could soak together. Nothing more relaxing than a nice hot soak after a contract.” Luca’s words play over in his mind. This is all for Luca. If it’s for Luca, he can do anything. Kal takes two more steps, even if he panics more with each one. This should be simple. All he has to do is get a little bit closer.
Legs shaken and knees weak, Kal manages to get halfway to the bath before chickening out and hightailing it out of there.
It takes weeks, but Kal eventually works up the nerve to make his way all the way over to the pool of terrifying liquid. It’s also there where Spite has to pull him out of his near panic hours later once Luca’s gone to sleep.
It’s also there was not his best moment.
After, Kal didn’t get the chance to continue his terrible, horrible, no good plan for a few weeks. When he finally gets back into it, Kal hardly makes it into the room. It’s frustrating, but he’s determined to make it work now more than ever.
Elgar’nan happens. Kal doesn’t even bother trying for the longest time. It’s during one of Kal’s worst nights that Lucanis finds him in the corner of the bath house staring despondently in the general direction of the water.
“Kal?” He’s asked, not that he’s more than vaguely aware of the shape standing in front of him. “Would you talk to me?” He’s not sure he can find words right now, no matter how much he wants to melt into his boyfriend.
“I’m here, Kal.” Something lands comfortingly on his shoulder. “I’ll be here as long as you need me. Just tell me what you need.” It’s a shame he just keeps taking from Luca but it does mean this is reality.
Days after they dealt with the gods, Kal follows Luca back to Treviso. It barely takes him twelve hours before he finds himself aimlessly strolling around their estate. He… He has a hard time believing everything’s actually over. But…
His eyes catch on the bathroom. He promised Luca he’d work on rediscovering who he is after everything. There’s a few vague memories of him trying something that seemed so pointless for the longest time. It can’t hurt, right?
Kal would do anything for Luca, after all. He can do this much, even if it hurts to remember who he was before all this happened. Waltzing in, his eyes land on the tub. It might only be the spare guest bath, but it’s enough for his efforts.
Turning on the magical tap, he lets it run despite the muted anxiety it dredges from the depths of his broken soul. It… Something that makes him feel more like the person he used to be.
Kal takes a seat, resting his back against the cool tub and setting his head on his knees.
“Mi amor?” Kal blinks. It’s much later than it was, and quieter as well. Luca must have turned it off before getting his attention. “What’s going on?” Luca kneels in front of him, taking his hand. There’s nothing but love and patience in those coffee brown eyes.
Kal tries for a moment to find his words. “I… “You wanted to relax together so I was trying to…”
Luca looks more than a little surprise. “Then the gods interfered and now we’re here.” Luca smiles, it manages to lift Kal’s mood just a bit. “Does it help?”
“I dunno.” He mutters. “But you do.” That glimmer sparks in Luca’s eyes as he finds a smirk and pecks a quick kiss to Kal’s lips.
“Are you sure about this, mi amor?” Luca checks. Kal’s gaze flicks between the filled bath that’s making him more and more fearful each second. Its novel, almost. He hasn’t felt like this in a long time. Still, he nods.
Luca smiles, pressing a soft kiss to his lips before picking Kal up and holding him tightly. Kal holds tightly as he’s carried into the large bath. Splash. Splash. Splash. His breath hitches in his throat, his fingers dig into Luca’s skin.
“Good boy.” Luca mumbles against his ear. “You’re doing so well.” A hand rubs against his back while Kal holds himself as close to Luca as he can. It’s okay. There’s nothing wrong so far. Luca’s here. Nothing can hurt him. Not when Luca’s real and here and holding Kal like he’s the most precious thing in the world.
Luca waits until Kal’s breathing has evened out and his near-panic subsides well enough before slowly lowering the both of them into the warm water below. Kal can’t breath for the longest time. He can’t get his thoughts straight and he can’t seem to remember where he is. He needs to get out. He needs to leave.
“Kal does good!” Spite echoes in his head. Spite. Right. He can feel his boyfriend on the edge of his consciousness, holding him calmly until Kal can come back to himself properly. “Kal is brave. Kal is safe. Kal is doing his best.”
Warm, relaxing hands rub comforting shapes into his back while damp fingers run through his hair. Luca is here. Spite is here. He’s okay. He’s… He’s in the water. He’s fine. There’s nothing that can hurt him.
Kal blinks before squeezing his eyes shut tightly, a harsh breath getting sucked into his throat. He’s in the water and he’s fine.
“You’re doing so good, mi amor. I’m proud of you.” Luca mumbles happily. “I’ve got you. You’re fine.”
“… I’m fine?” Kal manages softly.
Luca smiles. “You are and you’re doing wonderfully.” Spite appears at his back. “Open your eyes, mi amor. I know you can do it.” His boyfriend coaxes. “I know you can do it.”
It takes several long minutes before Kal can manage to crack open his eyes. “Look at me?” It takes more effort than he’d wanted to rip his gaze away from it’s lock on the floor, but Kal manages to find Luca’s coffee brown to lock on.
Luca smiles, rewarding him with a long, calm kiss.
Kal relaxes against his husband as they soak in the warm water. Luca hums, pulling him just a bit closer.
“This is nice.” Kal purrs.
“Yeah.” Luca agrees. “You’ve done so well, mi amor.”
He smiles. “Only because of you.” Pulling back while still keeping a hand on his husband, Kal gets a curious glance in his eyes. “Would you wash my hair?”
Luca smiles softly, pulling him back for a quick kiss. “Of course.” Kal may not have ever expected he could have something like this, but he’s not sorry he put himself through so much to get here.
His Luca deserves everything, after all. And Kal’s going to do everything he can for him.