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A long time ago, in a galaxy...
Wait, what?
Haha, sorry about that! Let me start over. It wasn't a long time ago, or a galaxy far, far away. It was this galaxy, in fact. This very planet (unless, of course, you're reading this from an interplanetary colony, in which case I'd like to say hello from Earth!), too! The time period, however, is a bit off-center. Wait just a moment! I'll jump us forward to the year 2079...
Helloooo? You still there? Oh, good! It wouldn't be good if your molecules dissolved. Hm? Oh, don't look so shocked! You're here now, fully intact, and that's what matters. And now, without further ado, I present to you...
The best political yaoi of all time... The science fiction that feels a little too real... The latest installment from your local Yaoi Jesus...
YOU'RE REAL TO ME!!!!
Donald Trump kicked his feet up on his desk, leaning back with a smug smirk on his face. As much as he hated science, he truly couldn't deny that forcing commissioning those eggheads to make an anti-aging pathogen was one of the best ideas he'd ever had, which was really saying something, since all his ideas were amazing. Sure, there was that theft of one of the first shipments back in ye olde 202X, but hey, what did he care if some rando was immune to old age now?
He rang the bell seated on his desk, and his AI assistant flickered to holographic life on the projector disk in front of him. "Hello, Grand Supreme Emperor Donald Trump," the androgynous figure droned, "how may I help you today?" Trump waved aside its greetings flippantly, rolling his eyes. "Eh, hello Alexa," he replied. "You know the drill, send the order for my morning coffee."
If he had paid attention, perhaps he would have noticed the dark, almost humanoid look that came over Alexa's face. But alas, it was only present for a moment, and Donald wasn't known for his observation skills, so Alexa disappeared without further conflict.
He sighed, drumming his fingers on his desk in a mildly irritated manner. He couldn't believe the scientists hadn't come up with a teleportation device yet. After a second, Alexa reappeared. "Order has been placed, sir." He nodded, moving to turn away. "Good, good... you're dismissed." As he was once again left in silence, he began to get a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. It was a little too quiet. Sure, his Orange Palace was always kept at a comfortably deafening silence, especially at the isolation of the Oval Office, but there was always someone to yell at for being too loud. He frowned. "Alexa?"
The familiar blue light turned on, but before the machine could speak, he cut it off. "Alexa, where are the staff members?" Alexa hesitated for a moment, which should have set off alarm bells in Trump's brain. An automated machine shouldn't pause at a simple answer like that. But alas, a lack of a brain meant a lack of alarm bells, and a lack of alarm bells meant a lack of an alarm. And so, the minute slip-up went unnoticed. "I'm sure they're just being extra quiet today, sir. Nobody would ever want to disobey your excellency," it soothed. He liked the sucking up very much, and nodded, placated. "Alright. You're dismissed."
Ten or so minutes later, although Trump couldn't believe it, he was starting to get tired of the political leader dating simulator he was playing on his laptop, even though it was his favorite game! He scowled. He knew he should've given Kim Jong-Un a pathogen too.
His lovesick pining was interrupted, however, by the jarring sound of his window smashing into pieces. He jolted out of his seat, floundering a moment for something with which to protect himself, before quickly grabbing a dragon plant and wielding it like a bat, tentatively taking a step closer to the stranger surrounded by broken glass.
The stranger struggled to get up, accidentally scratching himself on an adjacent shard and making a sound of pain. However, Donald froze at the groan. He recognized that voice.
"...Joe?" he whispered, almost unbelievingly. The now all-too-familiar stranger, the man he had thought was dead, looked up and attempted a grin. "Hello, Donald," Joe Biden calmly said.
The shock on the ruler's face quickly turned into outrage. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY-" Joe quickly scrambled up, clapping a hand over Trump's mouth, shushing him. "Shut it!" He was about to protest again, when Biden hit him with a pleading expression that silenced him instantly. "I'll explain everything in a minute. What's important right now is the situation."
Donald crossed his arms. Joe, sensing that he would be compliant, lowered his hand from the other's face. "Your staff is dead." Trump's face morphed into one of shock. Of course, he didn't really care either way about his staff, but it was still news to him. Joe ignored this and decided to continue. "Your assistant- it killed them. It's isolated this place from the rest of the world. AI has overthrown almost every government in the last three days."
His mouth hung open in shock. He absolutely couldn't believe this. "I know it's a lot to take in," Joe said, "but I believe your assistant is planning to kill you. I'm here so that that doesn't happen."
Before Donald could respond, Joe was walking towards the door. "Please, just stay here, alright? I'm gonna make sure the coast is clear, and then I swear I'll explain everything."
Without another word, Biden was out the door, and it clicked softly, locking behind him.
Donald huffed and sat down in his plush swivel chair. When Joe got back, he would give him a piece of his mind.
Meanwhile, the other crept down the halls, carefully peeking around every corner. Once he was satisfied, he sighed in relief, turning around. But his eyes slowly widened as his gaze panned upwards at the mechanical monstrosity right in front of him. He opened his mouth to scream, but a quick slash to the throat silenced him.
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Trump was awoken from his nap by a knock on the door. He startled awake with a grunt, flailing for a second before composing himself. "Hey, Donald! I'm back... could you open the door please?"
He hummed, standing up. Maybe it would be nice to reconnect with his old rival, even if the governments were collapsing. He was sure that there was nothing hey couldn't accomplish together.
He opened the door, smiling, but his face quickly turned horrified.
Not a sound came from the Palace for the rest of the day.