Archive of Our Own ^beta

It’s sort of well known that Japanese schools have a lot of rigid rules. Especially when it comes to the dress code which targets both the genders equally. Boys have to tuck their shirts in their trousers and girls have to wear skirts that reach beneath their knees. But guys get away with half unbuttoned shirts and Ino gets detention for wearing a skirt just a little above the knee. Everybody is not allowed to have dyed hair and girls have certain guidelines for allowed hairstyles and makeup is prohibited. But boys walk around with horrendously bleached hair while Sakura once almost gets suspended for having naturally pink hair. Huh– Well, the dress code might be a little too biased against girls.

But that’s not Sasuke’s problem, thankfully. Because Sasuke is a guy. Don’t get him wrong, if the girls were to ever start a riot, he’d be all for it (mainly because he supports anarchy but hey maybe that’s just him.) What he means is that, thankfully, he doesn't have to worry about such rules and regulations because… patriarchy. 

At least that was the case, until.

.

He’s eating his tomato sandwich, when he hears the familiar loud complaining and then the door to his rooftop slams open and (it is his because no one else comes here except–) two girls walk in. Ino is fuming, her hair tied messily into a frizzy low ponytail, with Sakura trailing behind, half amused, half wary.

“The audacity.” She seethes, as she walks up and settles beside him and very easily snatches his half eaten sandwich and bites into it. “The sheer audacity to make me wear this the whole day for what? A skirt that reaches mid thigh? Shikamaru literally wears shorts to school and nobody bats an eye.”  

“Welcome to sexism 101. I suggest you complain to Tsunade about this.” He deadpans, as he shuffles slightly to make space for Sakura to sit beside him. “And give me back my sandwich.”

She chews, waving her hand. “I am on a diet.”

“So? Bring your own sandwiches.” He snides.

“Why? When you bring them for me.” She shrugs, stuffing the remainder of the sandwich in her mouth. Sasuke glares at her and she speaks, mouth still stuffed. “Besides, Sakura brought you a bento today.”

He whips his head towards his girlfriend, questioningly and she smiles already having spread out a napkin and a bento with cute roll omelets, bunny apples, flower shaped cherry tomatoes and octopus sausages. His eyes widen slightly, before he looks up at her suspiciously. She stares back at him curiously and nothing really seems amiss, but just to double check he takes out his phone and looks through the calendar. “Well, there’s no anniversary today.”

Sakura laughs, tucking back her hair. “Our home econ had us do bentos today.”

“Hope you got an A for this.” He easily comments, taking the chopsticks to pick one of the eggrolls. He takes a bite and nods. “Yeah you should.”

She flushes prettily, pleased. Sasuke turns towards the blonde next to him, eyebrows raised. “And where’s yours?”

“Burnt it.” She shrugs, and then frowns as she tugs at the oversized gym shirt she was wearing. “Ugh this smells so bad. Sakura, why does this smell so bad?”

Sakura sighs and moves to reply and Sasuke busies himself with the food, paying almost no attention to whatever Ino is saying, only moving his hand to point the chopsticks for his girlfriend to eat between their heated discussion. Their voices keep raising and then suddenly–

“It’s so blatantly unfair!” Ino says, standing up, stomping her feet in frustration. “I just hate it all so much. Sai came in the unfairly hot button up that only reached his belly button. I’d be suspended if I wore anything close to it. Like at this point I’m convinced if it was a guy that wore the girl’s uniform and broke the dress code they’d literally be let off scot free.”

“And then you can contest it in the student committee as discrimination and try to get them to show leniency for your dress code.” Sasuke pipes up, before turning back to the last of the sausages. But the conversation stops and Sasuke looks up to see both of them staring at him. “What? I thought you wanted a solution.”

“Since when were you this smart?” Ino asks, head tilting. 

He kicks her lightly. “I am an honor student, idiot.”

“Oh right. Damn. I always forget that both Sakura and you have brains. And not just her.”

Sasuke rolls his eyes and turns towards Sakura. “Can I kick her off the building?”

She contemplates looking between him and her best friend. “Nah. I still have a shopping date to go with her.”

“I’ll go with you.” He says, even when they both knew how much he hated anything remotely related to malls and large crowds. Sakura clearly knows this, because she grins, head tilting, eyes twinkling knowingly, and then Ino butts in.

“Oh, we’re all going.” Ino declares. 

Sasuke pauses, before he stares up at her. “Excuse me?” Whatever the hell was this tentative former crush (from her side) to acquaintanceship was limited to their time on the rooftop during break. He has no interest in hanging out with her beyond that, or having her third wheel on his and Sakura’s dates.

“You said we use a guy to show just how blatantly misogynistic the dress coding system in our school is.” And oh no, he knows that tone. He scoots towards Sakura, possibly a little behind her as well. 

“No.” He says.

“And would you look at that? Sasuke, you’re a guy.”

“No.” He repeats, as Ino approaches. “I’m changing my gender identity.”

Ino pauses and then deadpans. “You’d still have to wear a skirt if you decide to be a girl, idiot.”

“Since when did being a girl equate to wearing a skirt and still not happening.”

“Firstly that’s literally the school dress code, bitch. And c’mon!” She laments. “Fight the system. You’re literally all up about hating on authority figures. Bring that energy here now.”

He frowns, scrunching his nose, considering. And then Sakura is turning towards him, and there’s that very familiar look in her eyes, that look when she was very into something and oh fuck, seriously? “Please?” She asks, tilting her head, pouting.

And he sighs. 

Dammit.

.

“You find the idea of me in a skirt hot?” He asks. He’s spotting Sakura, as she bench presses about 120 lbs. Just a little shy of his weight. It does something to him. The fact that his girlfriend could just lift him like he weighs nothing.

She pauses, tapping out as she puts the bar back. “Next time, don’t ask me during a set.” She says. “And hell yes. I mean, have you seen yourself?”

“Everyday in the mirror.” He says as they make their way to the next machine.

She huffs. “Then there’s your answer. You’d look so gorgeous.”

“Don’t I already?” He asks, just to be petty. 

She grins, pulling at his neck to bring him closer to press a kiss to his cheek. “Of course you do. Reason why I asked you out.”

“And not for my charming personality? Or me?” Oh, he’s being extra petty. It’s only fair when his girlfriend whom he very much trusted to have his back, puppy-eyed (and ‘that’ look-ed) him into agreeing to wear a skirt. He didn’t used to be this easily affected. Ugh. Affection and feelings.

She laughs. “I can have multiple reasons to woo you.” 

“Namely?”

She pauses for a second, looking around the mostly empty gym. And then she settles a hand around his waist and leans a little up to whisper in his ear. “If you are free tonight, I can show all of them to you.”

Sasuke does not flush. Nope. No way. It’s just the AC in the gym broke down that very moment and caused him to spontaneously start combusting. That’s exactly why he wrenches out of his girlfriend’s hold to go to the stairmaster. It’s too hot to stay close to her. And it’s all because of the AC and not because of her perfume or her grip on his waist or her voice – the tone . Absolutely not.

Behind him, Sakura laughs. He throws her a middle finger. She sends him a flying kiss. And Sasuke once again. Does not. Blush.

.

He takes her up on her offer for the night.

.

He grimaces as he trails after the two girls in the mall, hand pressing just barely against his waist, where Sakura had left bruises (and hickeys). If Sasuke had his way, he’d probably stay in today, get some sleep after everything last night, before Naruto crashes over at his place in the evening for movie night.

But, no. Instead, the girls chattering in front of him had decided that if they were going to make Sasuke wear a skirt, they might as well break every biased dress code that exists. And Sasuke had argued that they could get the stuff without him coming, since he already knew his opinion wouldn’t matter, but he was once again guilt tripped (‘that’ look-ed, seriously he doesn’t get his girlfriend sometimes) to go with them.

“Okay, so!” Ino claps her hand as she swipes through a few shirts from the hangers. “I was thinking, you could wear a non-uniform undershirt since so many guys do that with no repercussions. Sakura, which one do you think we should choose? I was thinking of this one.” Ino calls his girlfriend when it really was his clothes being decided, and seeing as the two fall into heated discussion, Sasuke takes it as a chance to relax. Wincing as he sits, (Sakura had really been thorough with her offer) he opens his messages.

He had stayed over at Sakura’s last night and though he had let his parents know he wouldn’t be coming home, there were still a few messages in the family group chat from his mom and dad asking for when he’ll come back today. He sends them a quick reply letting them know that (knowing the girls) it’ll probably be another three hours. 

He closes their group chat, only to roll his eyes at the 50+ messages Itachi had sent him. He reads through his overprotective spiel that basically boils down to ‘omg you’re my little baby brother, you can’t stay over at somebody else’s place, what if something happens.’ before scoffing and leaving his brother on seen. Seriously, how is it that he’s more overbearing than his parents?

“Sasuke!” Ino calls out and he looks up to see the two holding a cropped shirt with ‘that bitch’ written on it. “This is what we’re getting. Whatcha think?” He stares at the shirt then back up at the two expectant girls, eyes narrowing down at his girlfriend who finally looks just a little abashed as she averts her eyes.

“Be so fucking for real here.” He finally says. “No guy is gonna be allowed to wear that either.” And he can already hear a rebuttal from Ino, whom he is pretty sure treating this whole thing as a pet project at this point. So, he hits it where it’ll hurt her. “And c’mon that would look so tacky with our uniform. I thought you knew your way around fashion, Yamanaka.”

And that is all it takes to get her to shut her mouth and run back to the aisle with a newly alight flame in her eyes. With her out of the way, he turns to glare at Sakura. “Seriously?” He hisses. He’d stand to make a greater gesture of his displeasure, but his back still hurts and oh yeah, whose fault is that? 

She shrugs. “You’d look good.”

“You can’t use that excuse on me every time.”

“Not an excuse when it’s the truth.” She pouts. “I just–” Her eyes trail back to the hanging cropped shirt and her cheeks turn red. She covers her face, breathing in, head dropping and her bangs fall to the front. Before she readies herself, pushing her bangs, green eyes serious as she fixes her gaze on him. It’s the same look, the same gesture she did before her judo matches, the heated gaze that had him burning all over.

She comes closer, bending so her face comes near his ear. And she looks so serious (and hot) and Sasuke almost stops breathing for a second to listen to what she has to say.

A pause. Where her breath tickles against his ears, as her hands rest on his shoulder.

Then.

“I just want to see you in a top that shows off that gorgeous waist of yours.” 

…

He gives up. He’ll never understand her.

He looks at her unimpressed but she’s looking at him so hopefully, he can almost see droopy ears and a wagging tail behind her. (All over his fucking waist? Seriously?)

He sighs. Dating was a mistake to begin with. “Not in school.” She droops further, and Sasuke chews on his bottom lip, cheeks flushing, averting his eyes as he continues. “But…maybe when it’s only us.”

The way her face lights up, you’d think she just won the lottery or something. She presses a kiss to his lips, and he closes his eyes and lets her guide the rhythm. And he grabs her waist to steady her as her hands trail to his chest and–

“So I think I foun– OH MY GOD STOP MAKING OUT IN PUBLIC YOU HORNY IDIOTS.” Ino screams and Sakura ‘tch-es’ under her breath (he’s so proud of his influence on her) before turning to placate her friend while Sasuke simply stares off into the distance trying to act nonchalant.

A shop attendant who spots his ruffled hair and red face and mooning eyes fixed on his girlfriend would internally thank the blonde girl for stopping the couple. She really didn’t need to see all that.

***

Naruto enters Sasuke’s home as if it’s his own. Which, given the fact that their mothers are best friends and the two have pretty much grown up at each other’s places, it’s really not that far from reality.

He greets Auntie Mikoto and Uncle Fugaku, makes a quick nod at Itachi before heading up to Sasuke’s room. “Sakura, for God’s sake, stop.” He hears a muffled sound come from inside. And Naruto pauses outside the room, hand resting on the door knob. And maybe he shouldn’t pry, but hey it’s not his fault that the walls are thin and Naruto just so happens to be able to hear him. He’s totally not eavesdropping. He tells himself as he presses his ear to the door. Sasuke is just loud. 

“No. No. Sakura no . We’re not doing that. I– I don’t know okay? Like it’s just… No– that’s different. Yeah, but– …you’re not going to drop it are you?”

“Just–” Naruto hears his friend sigh. “Let’s just take a break. Alright? Give it some time to think. Yeah. Bye.” And then there’s a loud almost tired sigh and oh shit, did Naruto just hear his best friend go through a break up on a phone? Shit.

Maybe he should go back. And let Sasuke have some time to himself. 

Yeah.

Let’s do that.

He turns, ready to tip toe and leave and let his friend mope. He’ll come tomorrow with a whole breakup kit (aka ice cream and ramen). For now, quick sneak away!

“Ah– Naruto!” Auntie Mikoto calls out. “I was just about to bring you and Sasuke some snacks. Mind taking this tray in?” And as much as he loves her, at that moment he really hates her timing but because she is Auntie Mikoto, Naruto just hangs his head as he pitifully accepts the tray as Sasuke opens the door.

“Oi, usuratonkachi. Took you long enough.” Sasuke sneers, which is his typical way of greeting and showing affection but Naruto knows is currently his way of coping from his breakup. This is why he didn’t want both his friends to date (and because of his long standing though now ended crush on Sakura). Now how is he supposed to deal with this?

Whose side does he choose?

Sasuke sneers once more the longer Naruto stays quiet and pushes him inside the room as he thanks his mom. And ah right, Sakura has a lot of friends, Sasuke only has him (He fully ignores the existence of the self proclaimed Team Taka. They just aren’t the same level of friends as Sasuke and Naruto. That’s all. Naruto is not jealous.). And right now, look at how he is pretending to be alright as he puts on Netflix on the TV and scours through the lists of movies.

Oh Sasuke…

“Oi, dobe. You gonna choose or not?” Sasuke turns to look at him, and Naruto salutes his attempt to power through a breakup. He is so brave. He leans forward and hugs his best friend who on close contact smells like cedar and citrus. It’s nice. He hugs him tighter.

“Don’t worry Sasuke. I’ll be there for you. Dattebayo!”

There’s a pause, before a hand pats him lightly on the back. “Yeah okay. Choose a movie now or I’m kicking you out.”

And yeah. Naruto sniffs. His poor best friend is really going through it. He didn’t even add another insult in that sentence. 

.

Sasuke on his end, tries not to think of the detailed document that Sakura sent him detailing what she’d like to try with him. The longer he thinks of the stuff it entailed the more his face flushes. It’s a good thing Naruto came by as the perfect distraction so he doesn’t think about the four letter word that goes BDS– Nope. Nope. Not today. He literally just told Sakura that not now. (But, she wanted to be the one to dom–) NOPE!

He sinks further in next to Naruto and squeezes his eyes shut trying to pry away all these thoughts. Beside him, Naruto takes it as a sign that Sasuke is officially openly suffering through his breakup grief and thus begins patting his back consolingly. 

Surprisingly, it helps. 

***

Sasuke is in a bad mood, when Monday morning comes around. He had woken up to messages from Ino detailing exactly how he was supposed to get ready. As he had expected, the entire operation has spiralled out of control and now he is wearing a whole outfit that Ino had prepared, not just the skirt, and he is also supposed to wear makeup because that’s a thing now.

The makeup is one of the lesser grievances, since he has worn eyeliner a couple times before and Ino let him do the emo, dark eyeshadow look. Only thing is…he sucks ass at it. He may have overestimated how easy makeup could be and now with Ino’s borrowed makeup kit haphazardly strewn over his table, he stares at the mirror in frustration as his eyes resemble black pandas, he decides he is quitting.

But, no. 

Ugh.

He is not a quitter.

He may have been guilt tripped into this stupid situation, but he’s seeing it through the end. Grumbling, he swipes his phone open and calls. 

.

“Alright, so start with the inner corners.” Ino explains demonstrating on the video call. 

Sasuke holds the brush near his eye and grumbles. “Why is this so darn complicated?”

“It’s really not.” Ino scoffs. “You just suck.”

A pause. And then he glares at the screen. “Wanna repeat that?”

“You. Suck.” Ino repeats, sticking her tongue out. “Finally found a thing top student Sasuke is bad at. Huh– who woulda thought it’d be makeup. Now choose a darker shade for the outer edge of your eyes.”

“Shut up.” Sasuke grouchily says, even as he follows Ino’s instructions. He’d have called Sakura if not for the fact that he knows she’ll make some pervy remark. “It’s my first time doing it. I’ll be better next time.”

“So there’s a next time?” Ino smirks and Sasuke glares at her. “Eeek don’t look at me like that. Can’t believe I ever had a crush on you.” She looks at him in disgust and he throws her a middle finger which she gladly reciprocates. 

For a moment or two, it’s just peace and quiet as Sasuke works through his eye makeup. “Though, you are going to be fine with this, aren’t you?” Ino suddenly speaks.

He pauses and then blinks. “Oh now you suddenly care about my opinion.”

“Oh shut up!” She shouts, before slumping. “Ugh, what I mean is, as much as Sakura and I have forced you into this, you can still back out if you want right now.”

He considers her words, as he closes the palette shut. “I have already come this far, might as well see it through to the end.” He shrugs. “And besides, nobody can force me to do anything.” He adds with a scoff.

Ino gives him a shit eating grin. “Nobody? Is that your new nickname for Saku–” He cuts the call off before she can get another word in.

He sighs then looks in the mirror. His eyeliner and eyeshadow looks fine. The lipgloss looks alright to him. He wasn’t too keen on any of the other stuff Ino had given him, so he supposes that’s that. Eyes flicking to the laid out uniform on his bed, he sighs. 

‘Well,’ He tells himself, ‘It’s now or never.’

***

Itachi understands that as kids grow up they go through their rebellious phases, but he never expected his cute little brother would grow up to become the brooding teenager who ignores his messages. 

Sipping his tea, as he sits on the table in front of his father, he looks down at his phone gloomily. His mother places down bowls of steamed rice and frowns at the empty space beside Itachi. “Is Sasuke still not up?” When both the men shrug, she sighs and turns to the staircase and calls out. “Sasuke! You’re going to be late! Come down quickly.”

There’s a muffled sound that comes from upstairs and his mother simply shakes her head before sitting down next to his father. “Seriously that kid…”

“Teenagers.” His father supplies helpfully, as he offers her the chopsticks.

“Yes but–” She stops mid-sentence, her eyes catching at the figure in the back. And it’s the way her mouth slightly drops open and her eyes widen that has Itachi whipping his head as well to see what was up.

And Itachi pretty much resembles his mother’s face as he stares at his brother walking down the steps in knee-high socks, short skirt and i-is that dark eyeshadow???

“Can I just take some toast?” Sasuke asks nonchalantly as he walks to the kitchen. “Gonna be late if I stay to eat.”

His father is the first one to break out of the stupor. “This is why you should wake up on time. Your mother put a lot of effort in the breakfast, Sasuke.”

“Sorry.” Sasuke mutters as he quickly picks up a buttered toast, waving at them. “Will wake up earlier tomorrow. Bye.”

And all three of them just dumbly wave back as Itachi’s baby brother walks out looking like that. ‘What if someone flirted with him? What if someone approached his baby brother with non-decent thoughts? Oh, Itachi might just commit murde–’

“Do you think there's something he wants to tell us?” His mother asks weakly. “Or maybe he never said it outright because he wasn’t sure of our reactions.”

His father is quiet for a moment as he sips his tea, before placing it down. “I suppose we should let him know that we’d accept him no matter what.” His mother turns to his father determinedly, and Itachi watches as his parents start searching up pride decorations on their phone to put around the house in support of their youngest son.

All the while Itachi panics.

‘Sasuke is in danger!’

— *** —

Ah– but unbeknownst to Itachi, he was wrong.

Sasuke isn’t in danger.

He is the danger.

And his first victim–

— *** —

Naruto stands near the entrance of their school. He would have gone ahead, if not for the fact that Sasuke had just had his breakup the day before. And from the corner of his eye, he can see Sakura and Ino loitering expectantly.

He needs to protect his friend from the grief and awkwardness of seeing your ex the first thing in the morning. Calling Sasuke, Naruto begins to slowly drift away from the two girls, eyes fixed towards the ground, flitting at the passing students’ shoes.

A click as his call is received. “What is it, dobe?”

A girl passes next to him. Her white socks hug her sculpted calves nicely. And his eyes drift to how the hem of her skirt barely reaches mid-thigh. Naruto gulps. The girl’s feet stop.

“So, S-sasuke.” He begins, attention drifting elsewhere, as his eyes slowly travel up the pretty girl’s figure. “I-I was wondering if you’d wann–” His eyes travel to her collarbones which seem distinctly familiar and then to the jawline and then–

“SASUKE!?” He all but screams, when his eyes finally land on his best friend’s face. He has makeup on, but it’s Sasuke with his folded arms and scowling face all the same.

Sasuke looks at him, disgusted, as he cuts the call in favor of sneering at him in person. “Do you do this with every girl who passes by?”

Naruto gawks at him openly as his eyes flit to the skirt and then to the face and then back to the skirt again. Sasuke is in a skirt. Sasuke is in knee high socks. Sasuke smells nice and citrusy. Sasuke is pretty. The first two are new revelations. The last two are already established facts.

Somehow combining them all together is what finally breaks Naruto.

.

“I think you broke him.” Ino states. 

Sasuke sneers, even though he might be just a tad bit concerned for the idiot who currently is as red as a tomato and seems to be turning an ever deeper shade of red, the longer he stares at Sasuke, gaping like a goldfish. “Good. He was leering so hard.”

Clapping him on his back, Ino laughs. “Well, if it was anybody else I’d call Naruto an asshole. But…” She glances up and down at him, appreciatively. “I mean you are some delicious eye candy. Right, Sakura?”

And oh right. He looks away from the two blondes to see his girlfriend frozen, hands shoved in her pockets, posture slack as her eyes stared him down intently. It’s only when Ino speaks does she snap out of her stupor and looks up to meet his eyes. Her tongue flicks out as she wets her lips and then speaks. “Can I take you home right now?”

Sasuke blinks, before a bright red flush climbs up his neck and leaves his cheeks heated and red. He turns around and stomps inside, all the while Ino guffaws and Naruto remains gaping in the background.

“How about after school?” Sakura calls out, as she follows after him. Sasuke runs in even faster.

***

Team Taka, as they like to call themselves, sit broodily on the steps of the gymnasium. Their leader was running late. “He should’ve been here like an hour ago.” Suigetsu grumbles, looking down at his watch. “We should have been practicing right now.”

“Technically you could be practicing. Nobody’s asking you to stay here.” Karin rolls her eyes, typing away at her laptop, updating the tennis training schedule per the tennis coach’s instructions as the team manager. “In fact do us all a favor and please leave.” 

“Shut up.” Suigetsu scowls. “I’ll do what I want.”

“Then don’t complain about it.” She snarks, sending a quick message to the coach letting them know where they were. 

“Shut u–”

“How about we circle back to why Sasuke still hasn’t reached?” Jugo finally cuts in, stopping before they both dissolve into another fight. Which would all be on Suigetsu, mind you. As Karin would point out, she only gives as good as she gets. (Unless it’s for Team Taka, then she always gives more.) “Personally, I think it’s because he slept in.”

“That is such a boring theory.” Suigetsu declares.

And Karin almost agrees, if not for the fact that it was Suigetsu she’d be agreeing with. So, instead, “Then, what’s yours?”

He harrumphs, folding his arms across his chest as he looks ahead, eyebrows furrowing as if he’s deep in thought. “I say it’s because Sasuke is…” And then he trails off for a moment as he stares ahead in shock and then he breathes, as if caught between awe and surprise, his cheeks flushing red. “…In a skirt.”

Karin blinks, before snorting. “How you managed to come up with a worse theory than Jugo is beyond m–” But she isn’t able to finish her sentence whole, because the next moment, Suigetsu is grabbing her chin, and forcing her face in a certain direction. And she moves her mouth to complain and punch the idiot but then she sees what Suigetsu sees and her mouth falls open. From the corner of her eye, she sees Jugo enter a similar look of shock.

“You all look stupid.” Sasuke greets them. When they don’t reply, he tilts his head, considering and continues on. “You’re being as dumb as your cousin right now.” He stares pointedly at Karin. 

The hottest guy alive, Sasuke Uchiha, that Karin had long declared the pinnacle of what a man should look like, had somehow…somehow managed… “HOW DO YOU LOOK BETTER IN A SKIRT THAN ME?” She screams, jumping up, feeling oddly at wit’s end.

Yeah Sasuke is pretty. Is gorgeous. There’s a reason, more than half the school population (including her) have had a phase where they had a crush on this fine specimen of a human being (until Sakura had come and snatched him up and ugh, Karin is not a homewrecker and well she supposes being Sasuke’s close friend is enough for her) and yeah, he had these long eyelashes that made Karin envious, and this light color to his cheek that gave him a natural blush that looked so good on him. But, for the most part she could find it in herself to appreciate those features — could want him for it. Not be jealous of him for it.

Which girl gets jealous of a guy’s look?

But now…

Here he is. With pretty legs and sleek eyeliner and… ohmygosh that waist, that Sasuke had managed to hide for so long in his slightly baggy uniform. And suddenly Karin can’t decide if she wants him or she wants to be him.

Sasuke simply sticks his tongue out, hands digging into his skirt’s pockets. “Cope with it.”

Any other moment, she’d have a more witty response to give him, right now though she just kind of nods dumbly as she tries to ingrain the sight to memory. (Sakura wouldn’t mind, if she appreciates eye candy, right?)

Realizing he isn’t getting any further response from her, Sasuke fixes on the two boys next to her, who are even more useless than her, in the sense that even she can feel the radiating heat of the two having basically combusted at what ever the fuck gorgeous sight is in front of them. 

Luckily though, before Sasuke breaks them any further– “Oh my– Sasuke-kun, that’s a new look on you.” Comes the familiar grating voice of their tennis coach, and more well known by the general school public, their science teacher, Orochimaru. 

“Just happened.” Sasuke replies nonchalantly.

“Well it looks good.” Orochimaru declares, giving his signature creepy smile. “Wouldn’t you three agree?”  

Karin nods. The two boys don’t budge, so being the amazing friend that she is, she quickly stabs her elbow into the two. They both yelp, but under her and Orochimaru’s joint stare, they nod as well.

“You look fine or whatever.” Suigetsu grumbles, pulling at his collar as he averts his eyes, flushing.

Jugo doesn’t say anything but his nod and red cheeks are a clear enough sign as well.

“As if I care what anyone else says.” Sasuke folds his arms over his shirt, but his ears are red and when he turns away from them, rolling his eyes, they all notice the red blush crawling up his neck.

And though Karin wouldn’t say that Team Taka has reached the telepathically-understand-what-the-other-person-is-thinking level, she knows that in that moment all three of them have the same thought.

‘Sasuke can be so fucking cute sometimes.’

It almost makes her want to hide him away or something. To just protect this tsundere mess of a friend of hers. 

Somebody claps, and the moment breaks. “Well, as sweet as that exchange is. Sasuke-kun I don’t remember ‘learning something new about my identity’ is a good enough reason to miss morning practice. And by proxy, neither is waiting for your friend a good enough reason for you two.” He fixes his wide, unsettling smile onto Suigetsu and Jugo. Karin gets a pass because she’s just that amazing (and because she had literally been doing her work, until a few minutes back).

“You said that I get one morning practice off per month.” Sasuke says, pushing a bang to the side of his face. “I’m cashing it in right now.”

Orochimaru considers the statement before humming. “Well played. Though next time, let me know in advance. You two though, have five extra laps around the gym during afternoon practice.”

“I’d also like to cash in my morning practice off.” Jugo copies. “Me too!” Suigetsu declares.

“Sorry, that’s a special perk only for my star player.”

“They played well last season, let them have the off.” Sasuke orders with all the confidence of a boy who knows Orochimaru favors him greatly. And the teacher in question of course easily bends under the request of his blatantly favorite student. 

“Alright then. But only this once.” And then the man just simply up and leaves, like the absolute weird character he is. “Do not miss afternoon practice.”

With him gone, both Jugo and Suigetsu awkwardly fix their gaze on their leader/friend, thinking of a way to say thanks to him. But before they can, Sasuke turns around. “Don’t wait on me next time idiots.”

Suigetsu immediately riles up, grabbing his bag as he runs after Sasuke. “Ha! You don’t get to tell me what I can do, bastard. I’ll wait as much as I want.”

“Then next time, be prepared to do the extra rounds.” Sasuke simply tells them as they walk to the main building to make it in time for homeroom. 

They get stares. Well, Sasuke does. Of course. And while most of them are harmless shock, or just someone having an awakening, there are a few eyes that Karin picks out to be disgusted. The other two notice as well, and they don’t have to say anything for all three of them to have a protective barrier around Sasuke, glaring back at the fuckers. Suigetsu and Sasuke continue to bicker and after a moment or two Karin joins in and Jugo tries and fails to get them to stop, and Karin…well, she couldn’t be more content.

If only.

“No, come on, there has to be some secret technique to get a waist that small.” Karin stresses as Sasuke rolls his eyes.

“Ever considered genetics?”

“Ever considered not gatekeeping?”

Sasuke sighs. “If you want my gym routine I can forward it to you.”

Karin grins. Now, she is fully content. 

Snatched waist. Here she comes, baby.

***

Sasuke manages to shrug off Team Taka by the time he finally reaches his class. They were extra clingy today, which is a feat of its own but they managed and for some reason all three of them were determined to attend his homeroom despite being assigned to a different class.

He opens the door to his class, and makes his way to his seat by the window. It’s a little weird having to consider his skirt as he settles down (so as to not flash anyone). And he leans back against his chair and waits for his deskmate to start yapping constantly to help bide the time till Kakashi Sensei comes to start homeroom. But. That doesn’t happen. Since Naruto, who usually sits next to him, (Sakura and Ino are in a different class) today simply stands next to their joint desks, frozen solid.   

“I thought you’d get over it by now.” Sasuke deadpans, giving a once over to the blushing idiot.

He doesn’t get a response but it’s enough for Naruto to snap out of his stupor and slide into the seat next to Sasuke. 

Only.

“...” Sasuke stares at the way Naruto’s seat is teetering at the edge of the desk, as far away as possible from him. At the way his hands are clenched over his trousers. At the way he keeps averting his eyes. “Dobe.” He says once.

Naruto doesn’t reply, doesn’t acknowledge, just keeps staring down at his hands, eyes wide, cheeks red. 

“Usuratonkachi.” He says a second time, feeling the rising temper.

He once again gets ignored.

“Naruto.” He says a third time, voice dangerously low.

And once again, Naruto stays quiet.

And that’s when Sasuke has enough of it. He hooks his ankle under the leg of Naruto’s chair and drags it close. One hand reaches to grip Naruto’s shirt, the other settles on the desk. Naruto makes a sound of surprise looking up at Sasuke’s face before immediately moving to avert eye contact but Sasuke isn’t having any of that. He grabs him by the chin and forces him to look in his direction.

“Stop fucking ignoring me.” He says through gritted teeth. “I don’t know what’s your problem seeing me in a skirt but get over yourself for fuck’s sake.”

“T–that’s not– That’s…no, that–” Naruto tries to formulate a sentence, and Sasuke raises an eyebrow, and Naruto’s eyes drift down again and he just…runs. Before Sasuke can say anything else, the blond is out of his grip and running out of the room shouting ‘he can’t do this’ just as Kakashi Sensei enters inside.

Kakashi Sensei looks around the room, eyes settling on Sasuke, narrowing momentarily in suspicion before giving him a disappointed stare. “What happened there with Naruto?”

Sasuke shrugs, because wouldn’t he like to know as well.

The rest of the class, whom Sasuke had completely forgotten about, though seems to have a better idea.

“It’s what I like to call, ‘the awakening’ .” Tenten supplies, grinning mischievously.

“It is very manly of Naruto coming to terms with his feelings!” Lee declares with a thumbs up.

Kakashi looks at his class, eyebrows furrowed before shaking his head. “Just go make up with your friend, Sasuke.”

Sasuke is about to get up from his seat and do exactly that when a voice cuts in.

“Sensei. I don’t think that’d be the best idea right now.” Comes the remark of their quietest member – Hinata Hyuuga. The rest of the class nods furiously in agreement.

“Bad idea.” Kiba snickers. “Dude might just combust.”

“Die actually.” Shino pipes up.

“Dead.” Hinata speaks again, nodding her head seriously.

And perhaps it’s the fact that Miss Hyuuga Will-Never-Speak-Ever-In-Class Hinata is saying this, that Kakashi Sensei blinks and doesn’t push on it any further. The homeroom continues and Naruto only returns towards the end with a nurse note to excuse his absence (and Kakashi’s eyes had widened astronomically before he whipped his head towards Sasuke before turning away when Sasuke scowled).

Naruto ends up sitting next to Kiba after that, and Sasuke simply folds his hands over his chest and glares ahead at the board. Well, if Naruto wants to be like this. Then fuck him.

***

Ino smirks as she settles in her seat next to Sakura, listening in to the conversation around them talking about Sasuke. Oh yes, let Sasuke be such a widespread topic that when Ino brings up the topic of uniform gender bias in the next school committee, there’d be undeniable proof that she can use to win her case.

In fact, she has already sent in her appeal for a hearing. 

“Well this is turning pretty well in our favor. Right, Sakura?” Ino grins, turning to her partner in crime. Only to find the pink-haired girl staring out the window forlorn, as she stares down at her phone every minute or two.

Ino blinks confused, and leans over slowly to see what has Sakura sighing like she’s some damsel in distress, before she rolls her eyes as she pinches her absent-minded friend on the arm.

“A picture of Sasuke’s ass?” Ino asks, raising an unimpressed eyebrow at her friend. Well, more descriptively a picture of Sasuke in a skirt, bending down to fix his socks. And ugh, those socks, while they looked decent enough, Ino supposes, it would’ve been so much better if she put him in those neko socks. Next time, she promises herself. Next time.

(In his own class, Sasuke momentarily shudders, before turning to glare at Naruto. He doesn’t know what happened but he knows a blond is involved.)

“It’s a good ass.” Sakura huffs, but shuts her phone, glaring at her friend. “And don’t look at other people’s stuff.”

“Well, maybe not simp over your boyfriend this early in the morning? I feel very grinch-y when I see it.” Ino grouches, eyes sliding in the direction of a certain brunette who hadn’t worn a cropped shirt today. Pity.

“Grinch ruins Christmas, not relationships.”

“This Grinch will ruin everything.”

“So, that’s your Halloween costume this year?”

“He’s my spirit animal.”

That finally gets a giggle out of Sakura, who tilts her head amused. “Yeah?” Her eyes flit over, and she smirks. “I can see the resemblance.”

Ino blinks and then gasps, affronted. “Oi you take that back right now!”

The pink haired girl only laughs, and Ino punches her in the arm. “Weak ass punch.” Sakura sticks her tongue out. 

“Not all of us are nationally ranked judo-ers.” Ino grumbles, folding her arms. 

“Judo-ers?” Sakura raises an eyebrow. “Seriously.”

“Does it matter?” Ino says defensively. “In fact, judo-er sounds good.”

“Ah– it really doesn’t though.” A familiar, annoyingly hot voice chimes in. And on reflex, Ino immediately turns to meet eyes with Sai. 

“Oh yeah?” She gives him a one-over before meeting his eyes challengingly. “Let’s see you come up with a better one.”

“You both do know Judoka already exists.” Sakura pipes in, staring at the two of them in exasperation.

“Meh, that’s boring. In fact I’d argue Judo-er should be the new official title for judo doers.”

Sai chuckles, eyes glinting as he tilts his head in consideration. “How you managed to make it to senior year still manages to surprise me.”

Ino flicks her hair, as she leans forward. “Well, I’m a woman of many surprises.”

“I think you meant talents.” Sai says, hands resting on Ino’s desk as he leans closer. 

“Nah.” Her hand slowly slides next to his, brushing at his side. “I think I know exactly what I mea–”

“Kya!!!” A squeal breaks whatever spell had come over them. Beside them, Sakura internally thanks the girl, since she really didn’t want that happening right next to her. “Have you seen what Sasuke-kun was wearing today?” The girl shrieks to her friend. The friend shrieks back, and they are both squealing over Sasuke, and huh– Ino is a little (not really) surprised at how much people are salivating over the guy.

Oh wel–

“What I’d give to just come in contact with him.” The girl sighs dreamily. 

And oh. 

Oh. 

Ino is a genius. 

“I don’t like that look.” Sakura mutters.

“Your loss.” Sai grins. “I dig it.”

***

Kakashi doesn’t get paid enough. Has he ever mentioned that? Yeah teachers get shit pay, compared to the amount of work they actually do and Kakashi remembers sort of dismissing this when Iruka complained about this over drinks a few years back when he had just started working at Konoha Primary, but now that he is a teacher himself… Yeah, he really doesn’t get paid enough.

“Excuse me?” He stares at the school nurse, eyebrow raising. “Repeat that again?”

“Get that Uchiha kid some goddamn pants. I have had three kids with nosebleeds since this morning and it’s not even noon yet. I do not want kids in my damn office.”

“That is literally your job though.” Kakashi mumbles, but quickly shuts up under the woman’s glare.

“Get. Him. Some. Fucking. Pants.”

And how is he supposed to do that? “That’d be discrimination. Students are allowed to express themselves as they wish.” Kakashi parrots the school handbook.

“Then dress code him or some shit. I have seen him, his skirt is obviously too short. It violates the school dress code. Write him up on it and put him in some spare trousers.”

Kakashi wets his lips, and opens his mouth and then closes it. Because in what world is he going up to Sasuke Uchiha, and having a conversation about skirt length? Not in this one, that’s for sure. “That’d be discrimination. Students are allowed to express themselves as they wish.” Kakashi repeats again like a broken record, and Tsunade rolls her eyes.

“You’d have written up the girls in a hea–” Her eyebrows raise, as she leans back against her chair. There’s a moment of contemplation as something clears up for her. “Ah– They really couldn’t choose any other guy?” She clicks her tongue and Kakashi feels completely lost. “Forget it. You’re useless. Leave.”

Kakashi nods and scrambles out as quickly as he can. Just as he leaves, another girl, face flushed beet red, nose bleeding, enters the nurse’s office. A sigh sounds, “Sasuke?” The girl makes a small sound and Tsunade guides the student to a bed, and Kakashi feels glad to have barely made it out of the room in time.

“Umm, Kakashi sensei.” A voice calls out, and Kakashi immediately turns to find Naruto standing, eyebrows furrowed, a contemplative expression on his face. And while Kakashi would never say it out loud, he does have a particularly soft spot for the blond that was the son of the teacher he admired the most. So, seeing him look so worried immediately has Kakashi moving forward, ready to help him in any way possible.

After all that is the responsibility of a teacher. One that he decided to uphold.

“What is it, Naruto?” He asks gently.

The boy’s face twists, and he stares up at him with dead serious eyes. “Am I gay?”

Kakashi blinks at the boy once. Then twice. Then looks up at the ceiling and nods. Yep, he really doesn’t get paid enough for this shit.

***

Shikamaru would like it on record that he has absolutely no interest in Uchiha Sasuke and whatever he is up to. That being said, when the boy is the hot topic on everyone’s tongue, it’s not wrong to have some curiosity to see what all the fuss is about. That being said, Shikamaru would rather not have to deal with Sasuke’s raging fangirls and fanboys during lunch break.

“What a drag.” He complains as another student bumps into him as they loiter around in the crowded cafeteria. “Doesn’t everyone know that Uchiha Sasuke doesn’t come to the cafeteria for recess?”

“How do you know that?” His girlfriend asks, raising an eyebrow in his direction. The rest of their friends on the table also give him questioning glances, as if it wasn’t super obvious as it is.

He would’ve sighed dramatically, if it was anybody other than Temari asking him that question but as it is, he values his life so he doesn’t. Instead he just shrugs. “Well, we don’t ever see the haggle of his fanclub in the cafeteria, despite having lunch almost everyday here, so it’s a fair assumption to say that he doesn’t lunch here.”

“And Naruto has mentioned a few times as well that he and Sakura have lunch elsewhere together.” Gaara adds.

“Exactly. Which is why–” He is cut off mid sentence when another idiot barges into him. A nerve ticks and it’s definitely Temari’s influence but he really wants to punch someone. “Seriously, why is the entire school here? Sasuke isn’t coming.”

“But he is.” Somebody declares and then Shikamaru’s best friend is sliding in the seat next to him.

“What?”

Ah– sorry man forgot to mention it earlier, but he is.” Chouji says abashedly as he sets his food tray down. “Must have slipped my mind. But, Ino spread the word around that Sasuke will be coming to the cafeteria today.”

Shikamaru blinks. “Ino?”

Chouji shrugs as he digs into his serving of rice. “Apparently she had also been selling tickets for the ‘Sasuke Meetup’.”

“Can’t they just…I dunno…see him in the cafeteria with their own two eyes?” Kankuro asks, frowning.

“The tickets promise a chance to shake hands with Sasuke, each for about 2000 yen.”

Temari blinks, surprised at the steep price. “And they sold?”

Chouji shrugs. “Last I heard, Ino was cackling about how she’ll soon buy that designer purse she had been eyeing for a while.”

“And she couldn’t have asked us to partake in this business of hers?” Shikamaru grumbles as he stabs a fork into his cutlet. The pair of earrings he wants to buy Temari for their anniversary will need him to labor away at a part time job when he could’ve just made money scamming the Sasuke fans.

What a drag.

***

“What do you mean I have to show up in the cafeteria?” Sasuke asks as Ino starts pushing him forward. Sakura just grins apologetically as she walks beside them.

“Publicity. Make you more well known. Make my case better.”

“I have already paraded around the entire school, what more do you want?”

“Just a little more.” Ino claps him on his back. “Do your girl a little more favor, alright? The whole school is depending on her.”

“What do you mean the whole school’s depending on you?” Sasuke pauses, turning to her.

The blonde freezes, before she chuckles, eyes averting. “You know, they’re depending on me to change the school dress code, haha.”

“ Yamanaka Ino. ” He says.

And she gulps inching towards Sakura, she laughs nervously. “We’re on full names now, are we? A little too soon, don’t you think?”

He doesn’t reply and simply glares until she breaks down like the only child who never learnt how to lie when she accidentally broke her older brother’s computer. (He didn’t. There’s literally no proof.)

“...” And then she breaks.

.

“ You pimped me out? ” Sasuke asks incredulously.

“Hey, this is more of a manager preparing an idol meet and greet fan event.” Ino defends.

“Still not doing it.”

“Your fans will have my head. Like full on guillotine execution.”

“Good.”

“I’ll give you fifty percent of my earnings!” Ino tries desperately.

“...” Sasuke raises a curious eyebrow and Ino immediately shows him her phone with the list of payments. And Sasuke scoffs. As if he’ll sacrifice his morals and dignity, his right to be his own person and not some soulless idol for the masses, for that much money.

.

The doors to the cafeteria open. “Uchiha Sasuke is here!” Ino announces.

And Sasuke sniffs. Dignity? Morals? His phone rings in his back pocket as the transaction goes through.

Of course he will.

***

The fans for the most part are orderly. They do take up most of the space in the room, but they fall into a line the moment Sasuke arrives and Team Taka ensures they stay that way and the fans respectfully step forward one by one to stare at him, then shake hands with him then stare at their hands as if it has the Midas Touch or something. So, Sasuke doesn’t have much to complain about. Except. 

“Couldn’t you have arranged this in the grounds? Would have been less congested. It’s almost stuffy now.” He grumbles to Ino because if she calls herself his manager, he’s going to treat her like one.

“Well lunch was the only free time we could do this. And I am not as cruel as to make them miss their lunch.” Ino declares with passion, dabbing at her non-existent tears with a handkerchief.

“You just wanted more money.” Sasuke accuses.

“And you’re complaining?” Ino asks.

Sasuke huffs, but doesn’t reply and Ino takes that as a victory. The next girl comes up, blushing as she stammers a hello and puts out her hands for Sasuke to take. When a voice cuts through the haggle. Loud and annoyed.

“You cut the line!” A girl shrieks.

“I was here before.” A boy retorts.

“No, I was!”

Sasuke rolls his eyes, and turns to gesture to Suigetsu to break the argument up, when something flies and lands smack on his head. It’s an apple. It hurt a little but it was nothing. 

For him, that is. For his fans…

“You idiot!” The boy turns to the girl, who had thrown the fruit aiming for the boy. “How could you hurt our School Prince! Your aim sucks!” 

Suigetsu walks up to the two, hands raised to admonish them when a flying milk carton hits him smack in the face, bursting open. The girl laughs, turning to the boy. “As if your aim is any better.”

And let it never be said that Suigetsu was known for being gentle, understanding and in any way against violence. He picks the closest food tray he can get a hand on and throws it at the two arguing students. “Shut up, you idiots!”

The tray drops to the floor with a clatter as miso soup drips off the two students. The crowd goes silent. Shikamaru sighs and gets beneath the table dragging his girlfriend with him. A second later, Lee is on top of a table declaring the beginning of the war, and Kiba throws his food tray at him the next second.

And with that. It’s official. 

The war has begun.

The fans start running towards Sasuke and Team Taka immediately ready a line of defense. Sakura starts pushing the crowd away and Sasuke’s manager—

“Wait, why are you punching me?” Sai asks, hands raised.

Ino grins, cracks her knuckles and jumps the boy. “Felt like it.” Fucker, still hasn’t bothered asking her out after the talking stage they’ve been in for the past two months. He deserved every punch she throws at him right now.

And just like that, it becomes personal. Everybody’s screaming, rioting, splattering food everywhere and Sasuke regrets ever coming to the cafeteria as the crowd swallows him whole and he gets caught up in the mess. 

And then as the war goes on and all lose hope for any chance of victory (Against who? Nobody knows.), suddenly someone arrives.

“SASUKE!!!” Amongst the absolute chaos erupting in the cafeteria, like a beacon of shining light, a prince charming arising, a voice shouts out. Everybody pauses. Ino stops tugging Sai’s hair, Neji lowers the food tray he had been using to defend himself and his cousins, Team Taka stop throwing food at the oncoming fangirls and fanboys, Sakura loosens her grip on the raised lunch table, Shikamaru looks up from under the table, and Sasuke tugs himself out of Lee and Kiba’s grip to stare at the approaching golden haired boy.

The entire school watches with bated breaths. The teachers who had decidedly ignored the entire fiasco and left it for Hiruzen to deal with, since in Tsunade’s wise words, “That old fucker needs to do his job at least once.”, all peer through the door to the cafeteria to see it all go down.

“Usuratonkachi.” Sasuke breathes, chest rising, as the adrenaline slowly drains out.

“I’M SORRY!” The blond suddenly shouts as he does a full ninety degree bow. “I didn’t mean to ignore you, I was just reeling from a new revelation.”

“Gay awakening.” Tenten whispers to Ino. “Called it.”

“Or it’s just the ‘Sasuke awakening’.” She whispers back, conspiratorially.

“BUT!” Naruto shouts again, with such resolution that have both Gai and Lee nodding in appreciation. “I now know what it is. Sasuke you are my best friend but you are also someone I see in a– a new light!” The boy is blushing now, while Sasuke looks more confused the more Naruto is speaking. Unbeknownst to both of them, somebody is planning Naruto’s murder only a few feet away. A nationally ranked judoka that is.   

“And since you and Sakura broke up.” Naruto pauses, as everybody takes in this new information. And he looks at his best friend’s eyes with sincerity. “PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME, DATTEBAYO!!!”

“EHHH!!!???” The entire school collectively shouts.

And then the chaos erupts once more as people scream and shout over one another.

“Sasuke is single?”

“Sakura!? When did this happen?”

Amidst the chaos, Hanabi turns to her sister. “Dang, sorry sis.” Hanabi pats Hinata on the back, consoling her. Seeing her crush confess to someone else must suck.

“It’s fine.” The girl simply shrugs. “It’s Sasuke.” She says as if it explains everything, and it does. “Now if it was anyone else though…” Her words trail off, as a gloomy aura surrounds her, and she starts muttering. Hanabi and Neji exchange a quick glance before settling a comforting hand on each of her shoulders.

Hinata jolts out of her thoughts a little surprised, before shooting the two a grateful smile. But before she can move to verbally thank them, there’s a shout.

“SASUKE GO OUT WITH ME INSTEAD!” Some random girl that Sasuke has never met in his life (she was his classmate), suddenly shouts.

“No, wait me!” Another one shouts.

“ME!”

“ME!! PLEASE ME!”

And it’s a string of Me, Me ’s chanting across the cafeteria like it’s some sort of cult.

“Me!” Sai suddenly shouts. And Ino tugs his hair again, just a little harder.

“Seriously?”

Sai smiles in that creepily hot way that Ino likes, shrugging. “It doesn’t count if it’s Sasuke, right?” 

Ino considers the boy under her, and then exchanges glances with Tenten next to her and then they join the crowd, shouting ‘Me.’ as well. The chants grow and grow and suddenly it’s not just the Sasuke Fanclub but basically the entire school that is chanting around Sasuke, in harmony. And it’s actually mildly terrifying.

Outside the cafeteria, Gai also raises his fist to match the beat with which the students are shouting passionately and he moves to speak, when Kurenai claps a hand to his mouth. The man looks up at the woman questioningly. “Believe me.” She says. “You don’t want to be known as the teacher that chanted ‘date me’ at a student.”

Gai doesn’t respond, since well, she’s blocking his mouth, but he points to the figure watching from behind the left door. Orochimaru is happily chanting ‘Me, Me’ along, with his assistant Kabuto nodding whenever the man turns to him like some kind of tired parent. “…” Kurenai sighs. “He doesn’t count.”

Kakashi watches this all and ducks his head in his knees. Obito is going to laugh at him once he learns of all of this. He knows it. Rin will too. He doesn’t look forward to going home today.

“Wouldn’t have happened if you just put him in some trousers.” Tsunade tsks next to him just to dig it in further.

Inside the cafeteria, the crowd starts closing up on Sasuke and many of them are looking at him expectantly and a nerve ticks, and he finally snaps. “SHUT UP!!!”

The reaction is instantaneous. Everybody quietens, as Sasuke, the hottest guy ever as called by Karin and the Sasuke Fanclub, who has never been known to even shout, suddenly screams.

“I don’t care what revelation you’ve all had.” He says, glaring around the room. “I am only interested in one person.”

The room is quiet, and then Shikamaru pops his head from under the table to stare up at the raven. “Who?”

Sasuke blinks. Not expecting the question. Which is stupid in Shikamaru’s opinion. Considering half the school wants to court him. He better have a decisive name to get everyone to back down.

The boy in question flushes. His cheeks turning startlingly red. 

‘Like a cute tomato.’ Everybody collectively thinks, melting at the gap moe of seeing the Uchiha Sasuke being all adorable.

“–ura.” Sasuke mumbles. 

“What?”

“What did you say?”

“Be a little loud so we can hear you!” Suigetsu grouches.

“Yeah man!” Lee shouts.

“What if he’s just deflecting?” Shikamaru thinks out loud just to add fuel to the fire. He knows Sasuke isn’t lying, not when his eyes keep straying in one direction of the room, out of pure instinct. But, as the crowd starts muttering and complaining, Shikamaru just smirks. ‘Heh. That’s what you get for ruining lunch.’ Temari sees his expression and kicks him on the shin on pure instinct.

“What was that for?” He hisses, rubbing his leg.

Temari grimaces. “Your face.”

“Eh?”

Meanwhile the crowd only grows more restless.

“So you don’t have anyone?” A boy asks hopefully.

“Sasuke, can I be the one you’ll be interested in?” 

“Sasuke.”

“Please–”

“HARUNO SAKURA.” Sasuke suddenly shouts, fists clenching at his side, next to his skirt. His eyes are squeezed shut and his face, neck and ears are burning red. It’s a surprise he hasn’t combusted yet. “That’s who I’m intereste–” He isn’t able to finish that sentence, because the next moment, a pink blur is passing by everyone and Sasuke only has a moment to yelp in surprise (It was a completely non-cutesy yelp, Sasuke promises. (He’s lying. It was very cutesy.)) before he is being hoisted on a shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Haruno Sakura, with the Uchiha Sasuke in her arms, turns towards the cafeteria, gloating as she smirks. And then, channeling every inch of Uchiha pride in her, she declares. “Suck it losers.”

And she runs.

The cafeteria erupts into more noise, some crying, some whooping, but with everybody agreeing that this definitely was the most chaotic lunch break ever.

“Well she never does stop staking her claim.” Ino huffs, smiling.

“Mhm.” Sai agrees as he turns his head around to look at the girl on his back. “Now when do you plan on getting off me?”

He gets a light pinch on his shoulder in return. Sighing, he accepts this as his fate. Though…his eyes drift to the discarded milk box on the floor next to him. A little more chaos never hurts.

Outside in the corridor, Sakura runs with arms possessively gripping Sasuke’s back and thighs when she passes by Hiruzen who is finally making his way towards the cafeteria. The old man blinks in surprise when his two top students come running past him.

“Sakura-sa–”

“Principal Hiruzen, we will miss the remaining classes due to personal reasons. Will see you tomorrow. Bye.” Sakura rapidly tells him and she runs ahead. Hiruzen turns towards the running couple and sees the way Sasuke buries his red face in his girlfriend’s shoulder and finds himself smiling.

‘Ah youth.’ He’ll be sure to give them detention tomorrow.

He slowly trudges towards the cafeteria where his assistant had been desperately calling him. He blinks when he spots most of his teachers gathered around the cafeteria door peeping inside like children. “Ah– principal.” Kakashi moves to stand but Tsunade grabs him by the shoulder and pushes him back down next to her like he’s some petulant child.   

“Oh– You’re finally here.” Orochimaru notes as if he’s any other employee and not the principal . (Hiruzen really likes his title, alright. Why do you think he took it back the moment Minato got the offer from the school district?) 

“About damn time. Deal with it.” Tsunade orders him, head jerking towards the cafeteria. Hiruzen shakes his head but abides. At the very least, Jiraiya is on his sabbatical right now, otherwise it’d be the three of them he’d have to deal with.

Looking disappointedly at his teachers, he folds his arms behind his back and walks inside the cafeteria ready to command every student to listen to his every word, unleashing the true Will of Fire of a principal dedicated to teaching his stu–

A pie lands on his face.

“Ah Jiji! You’re part of the food war as well!?” Naruto asks, bouncing next to the principal. Already having recovered from his rejection. He had decided to go the Karin (and Kushina) route, now dubbed the Uzumaki route: ‘Content being best friends with the Uchiha.’ “C’mon Granny you’re not gonna miss this out, are you?”

“Watch who you call granny, brat.” Tsunade grumbles but enters the cafeteria as well. Hiruzen expects her to lecture the students to the utmost severity but she just picks up a stray grape and chucks it at a student. 

“And that’s for coming into my office all the time.” She snides. 

Orochimaru hops in, behind as well and throws a cup of pudding at another student.

“Suigetsu, Jugo! That’s for missing morning practice.” He tells them happily.

“Ha!? You said you forgave us, you ch–” The redhead Uzumaki covers the boy’s mouth. But the damage is already done, and soon students and teachers alike are throwing food and Naruto is hollering and it’s an outright food war and Hiruzen stands watching in horror as his precious school becomes a treacherous battlefield of spilled ketchup and beans. 

‘What will the ancestors who built this school say!?’

***

“Ah– that’s the most action I have seen in the school in a while.” Hashirama chuckles, staring down with a cup of tea in hand, leaning against his friend. “Ah– youth. I miss that chaos.”

“Why is my great grandchild in a skirt?” Madara asks, eyebrows furrowed.

“That’s normal now, brother. I think.” Izuna suggests.

“He’s not your grandchild.” Tobirama frowns seeing Madara and Hashirama cuddle in front of him. No amount of time in the afterlife will ever make that bearable. A fan hits him in the back.

“Don’t be a prude. Madara can have a great grandson if he wants.” Mito snides, settling down beside them.   

“Thanks.” Madara nods.

“Anytime.” 

“That’s literally not what I–” Tobirama goes to correct, but his own brother interrupts.

“Oh look! Mito, our granddaughter is fighting as well!” And the two of them, and Madara lean down like little excited children as they watch the food war below.

Tobirama groans, before settling back. His eyes meet Izuna’s and they both exchange a moment of solidarity of ignored younger brothers.

They make a club for that later (in a tree), which is strictly professional and cool with a sign that reads, ‘No older brothers allowed.’ Yep. Totally professional.

***

“You can put me down now.” Sasuke says, and Sakura will never get tired of hearing his voice. Ever.

Especially not when her usually quiet boyfriend had gone and announced to the whole world (school) that Sakura was the only one for him. God. What gave him the right to make Sasuke this cute?

She does put him down on one of the more hidden benches in a park a block away from their school, because as much as she’d like, she isn’t superhuman. Crouching down in front of him to catch her breath, she rests her head against his soft thighs, hands coming to grip at his calves.

“This was a bad idea.” Sakura mutters. How can someone expect her to control herself when Sasuke looked like this. 

Her boyfriend then has the nerve to look confused, tilting his head as his bangs fall before he looks more concerned and guilty. “I had no idea it would get this out of hand.” His fingers absently fiddle with her pink hair and then he mutters lightly. Quietly. Adorably. “Sorry.”

Really bad idea.

She wants to eat him up. 

She leans up, cupping the sides of his face and kisses him. Softly. Lightly. Because her boyfriend is such a dork, who likes to take everything slow and sweet. Gosh, he is too cute. She pulls away from his lips to kiss his cheeks, and his nose and his eyelids and basically any place she can find. “Not. Your. Fault.” She says between kisses.

When there’s a sudden loud growl and the two jump apart to find an orange cat glaring at them from the top of the tree. Kurama, the school cat. Known to be highly territorial and for only allowing Naruto to pet him. Tsunade hates the cat simply because of how many kids come in with scratches thanks to it.

Sakura glares back at the cat for interrupting them, Kurama flicks his tail angrily back and Sakura would rather it not jump on her, so she rolls her eyes before turning to her boyfriend to softly tell him. “So, yeah. It’s all fine.”

“Yeah?” He asks, cheeks flushed but eyebrows still furrowed. “You’re not mad?”

“At you for declaring your love for me to the whole school population?” She grins, tugging at his shirt to bring him closer to her again. “If anything I feel very…” She trails off and looks at him expectantly, hand gripping his thigh.

He gets the message, flushing even more as he pulls her in for another kiss. This one is a little more heated, a little more tingly, a little more desperate, and Sakura has basically climbed onto the bench looming over her boyfriend at this point for easier access. 

“My family won’t be home today.” Sasuke mutters arms looping around her waist, and she shivers.

“Yeah?” She asks, leaning to bite down on his neck, just below his collar. Sasuke pulls her away, and instead cups her face to bring them close for another kiss. 

“Yeah.”

Kurama the cat yowls once more, and this time both of them take heed and hurriedly run away from the orange cat’s territory before it scratches them, hands interlocked as they make their way back to Sasuke’s place.

.

They are halfway up the door, and Sakura is restless, lips pressing to their joined hands. “Just…wait a little more.” Sasuke says as he fumbles with the keys and opens the door. And then he freezes. And Sakura, who's a little shorter than her boyfriend, peeks from behind his shoulder to spot the shoes lined up at the entrance.

‘Oh guess, the makeout session will have to wait.’ She thinks disappointedly before cheering up at the thought of getting to win brownie points with her (hopefully) future in-laws. 

And then she spots what really made Sasuke freeze. Which is well, not that hard to miss, but Sakura is distracted, sue her.

Rainbow colored streamers hang across the corridor, with a huge pride flag hung on the wall, and Sakura watches with mild amusement as Sasuke grows horrified when they enter the living room and see a huge banner hung across. “We Love You Sasuke No Matter What.”

And it’s genuinely sweet of his parents to do. Only makes Sakura more dedicated to get in the good graces of the two. That being said though…she grins turning to her partner. “Sasuke, is there something you might want to tell me?”

He whips around to glare at her. “You already know I’m demisexual. Shut up.”

“Yeah well, your parents might have decided that this is the perfect time to celebrate that.” Sakura laughs, examining all the flags hung across the room. Oh– they even got all the lesser known ones. How they managed to arrange them in less than six hours is beyond her though.

“I’d rather they never did celebrate it.” Sasuke growls, staring darkly at the main rainbow flag as if it personally offended him. “It’s just who I am, why does that require a celebration?”

“Do you want a history lesson right now?” She looks at him pointedly.

That shuts him up as he folds his arms across his arms, pouting. Sasuke would deny it, but his scowls were basically just pouts. It’s like a small black cat trying to be all intimidating and failing miserably because ‘look at that widdle face’. What’s a few scratches in the name of getting to coddle the cat?

She slings an arm around him, pulling her prickly boyfriend close. “C’mon. Be grateful. My parents just gave me a thumbs up when I came out as bi and went about their day.”

“It’s just–” Sasuke stares at the decoration once more, eyes ending up fixed on the ‘We Love You Sasuke’ banner and his shoulders hike up and he flushes. “It’s embarrassing.”

“They love you. What’s embarrassing about that?”

That has him pursing his lips as he stares at the banner a little longer before mumbling a small, “I guess nothing.” And Sakura smiles, giving a light peck to his cheeks.

“Character development. So proud of you.”

“Shut up.”

“You could mak–”

A light pattering of footsteps as somebody comes downstairs and Sakura immediately detaches herself from where she’s basically octopus wrapped around her boyfriend. Mikoto-san emerges, and her eyes immediately lighten up at the sight of the two. “Oh I thought I heard someone. Sasuke, you should’ve called me when you came back. Good to see you again Sakura.”

“It’s good to see you too, Mikoto san.” Sakura gives a light bow, as Sasuke gives a small grunt in acknowledgement. Mikoto-san immediately gestures for the two to settle down.

“I’ll go get you two some refreshme–”

Sakura tries to immediately refuse but her boyfriend is quicker. “Just sit down, I’ll go get something. Besides, she’s my guest.” Sasuke declares and then before his mother can refute he is already out of the living room. 

Mikoto sighs, but a small fond smile dons her lips as she stares out the living room. “That boy. Seriously I don’t get what to make of him these days.” Sakura hums politely, as she continues. “I know teenage bo– teenagers aren’t the easiest to deal with but it still takes you by surprise when one day they just have their own bubble and you don’t know half as much about them as you used to.” Her eyes flick to the pride decorations and then to Sakura. And oh. Right.

“I don’t think it’s intentional.” Sakura offers. “Honestly, Sasuke is more oblivious than you’d realise when it comes to most things. There’s some conversations that you have to force him to have.” The rocky beginning to their relationship, the many misunderstandings they had to clear up to reach where they are today. “And I think he’ll be happy to share if you ask.” 

Mikoto-san considers her words, her lips pursing in the same way Sasuke’s always did when he was in deep thought. “I think I will. Thank you, Sakura.” 

“The lemonade bottle was empty, so I just brought orange juice. That fine?” Sasuke asks as he comes in with a tray in hand, setting it in front of the two women. 

Mikoto-san tsks even as she takes her plate, and Sakura reaches forward to help herself. “Sasuke, you should’ve served the imported biscuits that your father brought recently.”

“Why?” Sasuke tilts his head. “You like these ones more.”

Mikoto-san blinks, before she sighs, fondly exasperated. “And what about your girlfriend?”

“Sakura likes chips more.” Is the only explanation he gives as he points to Sakura’s piled up plate, and Sakura only feels a little abashed as the mother-son duo stare down at her plate. Not her fault, that bakery chips rocked. “The biscuits are for you.”

That seems to quieten his mother, who smiles down at her plate and helps herself to the small assortment of snacks Sasuke had brought over, before reaching to get the orange juice. “I think your brother might have finished the last of the lemonade.”

“And he couldn’t be bothered to throw it out?” Sasuke sneers in disgust. “Mom, get him to stop doing this, he’s twenty-three for fu–”

“I’ll deal with it when he gets back.” Mikoto cuts him off, already expecting the long rant that would come forth. For all that Sasuke didn’t talk, he sure had no problem complaining about his older brother. “Anything else?”

Sasuke pauses for a moment about to shrug but Sakura interferes, coughing pointedly as she jerks her head towards the decorations. She gets a flabbergasted look that could only mean ‘Seriously, do I have to? Right now?’ and nods her head. Her boyfriend sighs, before turning to his mom who is back to being distracted by her food.

“Mom.”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.” Sasuke mutters out, red coloring his cheeks. “For this. You didn’t need to, and I’m already pretty aware that you all would support me no matter what. So…yeah, I love you too.” The last words, a direct response to the giant banner currently behind the sofa they were seated on. 

That’s all it takes for Mikoto-san’s eyes to start watering as she sniffles. “Amaterasu, you should tell these exact words to your father. He might cry.” She chuckles. “But, I’m glad to hear that, Sasuke. And no matter what you discover about yourself, your family will always be there to listen and support. ‘The Uchiha stick together’ , you know?”

“It’s basically etched in my memory from how many times it's repeated at every Uchiha gathering.” Sasuke rolls his eyes, goodnaturedly. “Izumi and Shisui have a whole chart clocking down how many times that’s been said in the past three years.”

That startles a laugh out of Mikoto-san. “Of course those two would do that. Geez kids these days.” Mikoto shakes her head. And after that the conversation is light with Sasuke clearing up that ‘the skirt is just a dress up thing and he’s very comfortable in his gender identity as a boy’ and that he is demisexual. Having to explain how demisexuality works and how it’s attraction that happens only after strong emotional connection and having Mikoto-san look at Sakura approvingly was…something. It had Sakura regress to her old middle school days of blushing easily when she was still pining over the boy of her dreams. But, it’s overall nice and simple and easy and Sakura definitely got into Mikoto-san’s good graces. Well she did. Until.

The clock ticks by. “Oh my! How time passes without you realising it. It’s almost two already. I better start with making lunch already.” Mikoto-san comments as she rises up from the couch and then she pauses, her head turning in the young couple’s direction, smile turning menacing. “Though before I do go, care to tell me why both of you bunked school?”

Oh. Shit.

“There was a war.” Sasuke says with such a dead serious face that even Sakura almost believed him. “The Great Shinobi War.” Their school did play into the ninja aesthetic to some degree due to the ninja village roots of their city that Headmaster Hiruzen was a little too obsessed with. But this might be a little too far fetched. 

“Yeah? Over what?” Mikoto-san asks, eyebrow raised.

Sasuke takes a deep breath and then stares dead into his mother’s eyes. “Me.”

“...” Mikoto-san sighs. “Of course. Now then come with me in the kitchen. If you’re going to bunk, at least make yourself useful.”

Sakura grins sheepishly as she follows Mikoto-san, while Sasuke grumbles under his breath until his mother glares at him and Sakura ends up squeezing his hand as they both listen to Mikoto-san’s orders.

The shrimp tempura they end up making is delicious.

***

A week later, Ino bursts into Sasuke’s classroom and hugs him tightly. “Thank you!” 

Because he has a persona to maintain (which unbeknownst to him nobody believes in anymore) he pushes her away. “You’re welcome.”

“You aren’t gonna ask me what I’m thanking you for?” Ino asks.

“My existence?”

She levels him with an unimpressed look but then shrugs. “I guess technically yeah. But! Guess who got the dress code revisions passed!”

“You did?” Sasuke asks, biting down a smile as Ino glares at him.

“Could’ve said it with a little more ‘pizzazz’.” Ino sniffs, but isn’t able to maintain that indifference when she is practically vibrating with excitement. “Anyways. Using you as my main example of double standards, your girl, the one and only, the most amazing woman to ever exist–”

“You mean Sakura?”

“Shut up sap.” She clips back. “As I was saying, Yamanaka Ino is going to be remembered as the legend behind the new gender-neutral uniform guidelines!” She squeals. “Wait, let me read an excerpt from the document from the new guidelines.”

And because he knows how much the dress code had particularly bothered her, he doesn’t even make a snipe but instead lets her settle down on top of Naruto’s desk as the rest of the class gathers around. 

Clearing her throat she begins, “‘In compliance with the newly implemented guidelines, non-discriminatory measures will be enacted, ensuring that both male and female students adhere to the same standardized uniform code, detailed on pages 4 through’ blah blah. This is all boring, whatever. Ah! Here it is, the most important part. ‘Significantly, all forms of gender-based discrimination pertaining to the dress code will be subject to penalties. Students are entitled to report any incidents of gender-based discrimination to the school violence committee.’” She grins when she finishes. 

Tenten whistles leaning into to look at the document. “Holy shit. Ino this is impressive!” A light ‘Congratulation’ comes from Hinata and the rest murmur the same sentiment.

“I know!” The blonde squeals. “Is it bad that I’m looking forward to boys being penalised for their school dress code violations?”

“Nah.” Tenten smirks. “They had it a long time coming.”

“Hey!” Naruto pouts, knowing that this means he’ll have to ditch his orange hoodie soon.

Ino and Tenten both stick their tongues out at him.

Naruto groans. “Sasuke, they're being mean.” Back to being the annoying best friend that Sasuke always knew and cared for – the lunch break/skirt incident behind them once Naruto brought the latest volume of Frieren for the two to read.

“Wrong person to ask for help from.” Ino snides. “I bully him as well.”

“Yeah sure. But, too bad you can no longer stare at Sai’s stomach now, isn’t it Yamanaka?” Sasuke snarks, since Ino was going that way.

Ino rolls her eyes. “Don’t need to anymore. Guess that’s another thing I gotta thank you for.”

Sasuke blinks. “Excuse me?”

“Turns out dripping in ketchup and cheese, hiding under the cafeteria table is a pretty romantic place to have your first kiss.” Sasuke must have made a pretty disgusted face because she slaps him in the back of his head. “Just because you had yours in a park with falling cherry blossoms doesn’t make mine any less romantic.”

“Ketchup and cheese.” Sasuke says, grimacing.

“Scars that we survived the war.” Ino sniffs. “Not like you’d understand. What with you being Helen of Troy, the reason behind the war, who got swept away by his lover the moment it became too tough.”

“Ketchup and cheese. That’s disgusting.” Sasuke stresses, “And stop exaggerating. It couldn’t be that bad.”

His words have everyone in the class collectively having a flashback. Naruto breaks away from it first, shaking his head seriously. “Sasuke you’re lucky you didn’t see the end of it. Jiji nearly died.”

“Yeah, he had to be carried out on a stretcher.” Lee nods. The stretcher in question being Yamato Sensei’s arms as he drags the old principal to the infirmary with Tsunade complaining in the background.

“Yeah.” Tenten agrees. “In fact, there’s rumors that the old man is finally considering retirement.”

“Ain’t no way that’s happening.” Naruto frowns, before looking at them determinedly. “Jiji’s been principal since literally forever. This is his passion, his Will of Fire. This is the profession he’ll give his life for.”

All the students around him take in Naruto’s passionate words, before Sasuke turns to Tenten. “Yeah so anyways, has a betting pool been made?”

“Yep.” Tenten pops the ‘p’, bringing out her phone. “Shikamaru’s in-charge. I’ll add you to the chat.”

“Oooh me too!” Ino exclaims. 

“And me!” Lee raises his hand.

“Lee!?” Naruto looks at his friend affronted, but Lee just grins, and Naruto purses his lips before mumbling. “Add me too.”

“And me.” A voice chimes in and Sasuke looks up to see his girlfriend come in with a stack of papers in her hands. He frowns, standing up to go help her with the pile. 

“What’s all this?” He asks as she hands half the papers to him.

“Your fanclub registrations. It’s official now.”

Sasuke blinks, before reading the heading on the paper. ‘Affidavit: To honor as a member of the Sasuke Fanclub.’ before deciding for his sanity to not read any further. “Why do you have these? Is it to burn them?” He asks hopefully.

She rolls her eyes. “I’m the overseeing head for the club.”

“Excuse me?”

She shrugs, trying to blow a stray strand in front of her eyes. Sasuke reaches forward to push it behind her ear. “Haven’t you heard the saying? If you can’t defeat your enemy, join them.”

“I have never heard that before.” He deadpans.

“Yeah well it exists now.” She grins, all self assured and hot. “Besides, it’s better this way. They have a safe space to fangirl and fanboy and I get to keep all of them in check.” Her eyes glint dangerously, her smile sharpens and Sasuke decides that if the fanclub means more of whatever this Sakura is, then sure, he’ll let them live.

“Yeah? You’ll keep them in check?” He tilts his head, considering.

She smirks, pressing close. “Yo–”

A loud cough interrupts them. Oh right. There were others still around. “FAMILY FRIENDLY. PEOPLE!” Ino screams. “What’s with this exhibitionist kink you both have? Think of us poor souls.”

“Actually I think it’s cool.” Sai smiles.

Ino whips her head in his direction, mouth twisting. “This is not how you tell me you have a thing for voyeurism.”

“Is it really that surprising?” Shino questions.

“Let a girl react in peace, for god’s sake.” Ino glares and Shino mimes zipping up his face.

“Overreact, you mean.” Kiba snickers.

 “Say that again to my face.” Ino threatens, pencil pointing threateningly in his direction.

“Geez woman, learn to take a jok– Eeek!” Kiba shrieks, jumping as the pencil jabs between his legs, missing him by merely centimeters. “What is wrong with you?”

“Count your days.” Ino grins.

“Sai stop her.” Kiba pleads as he slowly shuffles back trying to hide behind Shino and Hinata, both of whom decide that if Ino presses, they would gladly step aside.

Sai hums, looks at his girlfriend who glares at him and cheerily replies. “Nope!”

And Ino inches closer, and Sasuke leans against his girlfriend ready to see the manslaughter that takes place and then the bell rings. “Alright everyone back to your seats. Ino put that pencil away and get back to your class. You too, Sakura.” Kakashi announces as he enters in, at the worst time possible. It really had to be today of all days that the slacker came on time to class. At least one person should’ve ended up in the nurse’s office. “Sasuke don’t glare– Oh, I see you’re still sticking to the skirt.”

Sasuke shrugs as he moves out of his girl friend’s grip to settle back down. “It’s comfortable.” And Sakura might have begged a little and he might be a little too weak to her requests but that’s whatever. The knee-length skirt was alright. No risk of flashing anyone and in the sweltering summer heat, it was better than pants. Whatever.

“It’s exposure therapy.” Tenten snickers. “People are finally learning to speak normal sentences again.”

Shino coughs. “Like Naruto.”

“Hey!” Naruto squawks, turning red.  

“Sasuke, as your manager, I need you to know that we need to step up our game then. Sweep everyone off their feet.” Ino grins as Sakura drags her out the room, Sai trailing behind. “I’m telling you, neko socks and ears are the way to go.”

“No.” Says Sasuke, in pure mortification.

“No.” Says Naruto, for his own crisis.

“No.” Says Kakashi, dreading a Take Two of the Cafeteria Incident.

“No.” Says the rest of the class, for the absolute havoc it will cause.

“Yes.” Says Sakura. And everybody groans, because that means it’s happening. 

Sakura smirks, Sasuke flushes, Ino whoops, Naruto clutches his head as he mentally readies himself, Kakashi weeps because Tsunade will kill him. The school prepares itself, the foreboding washes over them. In his principal office, Hiruzen begins drafting his retirement letter. 

The ancestors laugh in entertainment in heaven.

Sasuke is ready to take over the world (school) one more time.