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Never having been to Italy before, Nile didn’t have a clue about the distance between the place they’d stayed at near Rimini, and Rome. However, it seemed like Andy wanted to reach their destination as soon as possible, seeing how they were riding down the freeway considerably above speed limit.
Andy didn’t say a word as the miles tickled by, and she hadn’t switched on the car radio as she usually did. Actually, Nile had the impression that Andy barely seemed to notice that she wasn’t alone in the car, and she was somewhat anxious to remind her of the fact that she was riding shotgun. So she decided to stay quiet for now, looking out of the window instead, wondering what was going through Andy’s head.
Nile had only known her and the others for a little over half a year – which obviously was just equivalent to a second in their immortal lives – but she’d never experienced Andy like this before: headless, purely steered by emotions, not considering any consequences. She actually worried about her. And not only for her physical wellbeing, since Andy was mortal now. No, Nile could tell that Andy wasn’t alright.
What Andy had thrown at her before was entirely true. Nile didn’t have the slightest clue about Andy and Quynh’s relationship. However, it was painfully obvious that Andy cared about Quynh deeply. Nile could have figured this out even without Joe and Nicky insinuating before just how much exactly Andy cared for Quynh. She still loved her, Nile was sure of that.
Eventually, Nile must have drifted off to sleep, because when she next opened her eyes, her head was resting against the window and her neck felt stiff. As she stretched her arms, she noticed that the car was parked at a gas station, and Andy was nowhere to be seen.
“Shit,” she muttered, grabbing for the door handle. Andy hadn’t just ditched her here, going the rest of the way by herself, had she?
Nile tried to push down the panic rising in her chest, as she let her gaze drift around the gas station parking lot. No, Andy wasn’t walking around, stretching her legs. Maybe she had gone inside to get a snack or drink?
She finally found her in the ladies room. But the woman standing there by the basin, her back turned towards Nile, her hands clasped around the white ceramic, wasn’t the Andy she knew.
There was nothing left of the fierce fighter, the sassy, loveable big sister she’d grown accustomed to during these last months.
The woman all but cowering there was an almost unrecognisable shell of the Andy Nile knew and respected so much. Barely a shadow of herself; her face pale, her hands shaking, her hair wet and sticking to her face from when she had splashed water onto it. She looked like a picture of misery.
“Woke up alone in the car. Thought you’d ditched me,” Nile said, not able to keep the accusatory tone out of her voice, despite Andy’s pathetic appearance.
“Thought about it…” Andy muttered, her back still turned to Nile as she busied herself on the basin.
“Anything I can do?” Nile offered, knowing it probably was in vain, but she wasn’t sure what else to say, how to handle that situation. Usually, Andy was so tough – even after losing her immortality.
At these words, Andy finally looked up, gazing at her through the mirror.
“Can you give me back five centuries?"
Of course, it was a purely rhetorical question and Nile knew that.
“Wish I could,” she still said, because she meant it. Andy let out something that sounded like a stifled snort before pulling out some paper from the dispenser to dry her hands.
“What if she doesn't recognise me…”
It wasn’t a question that left her mouth, rather a statement, as if she were presuming this to happen. As if she were assuming the worst.
“I don’t mean physically, but… who I’ve become,” she added in explanation, before finally turning around to fully face Nile. For a moment, Nile feared Andy would break down in tears, and her voice was quivering with emotion, when she asked in a quiet voice:
“What if I don’t recognise her?”
“Andy, I’ve never seen you like this,” Nile managed to say, for lack of anything better to reply. She was dumbfounded to see this strong, fearless woman so shattered and ridden by fears and self-doubt.
“I’ve been like this for hundreds of years,” she eventually replied, and it tore at Nile’s heart when she understood the implications. That deep down, this had been Andy’s emotional state ever since she’d given up searching for Quynh. Maybe ever since Quynh had been taken from her.
“You really wanna go meet her looking like that?” Nile eventually quipped, in an attempt to lighten the mood. It was all she could think of saying. Andy looked beyond miserable, and like she could desperately need a hug. Nile wasn't sure, though, whether she’d accept one. So she wanted to try to help her out in some other way.
Andy just sighed, running a hand through her wet strands of hair, apparently realising that she actually shouldn’t face Quynh like that.
“Come on, let me help you fix this,” Nile said.
Then she went out to the gas station store, buying a few things, like a hairbrush, and some cans of coke, before busying herself with making Andy presentable again.
“So… how do I look?” Andy finally asked, sounding uncharacteristically shy, once Nile had applied a tiny touch of rouge on her cheeks to make her look less pale and sweaty.
Nile pretended to playfully check her out, feigning a cat whistle. “Hot damn.” She grinned widely.
“Oh, stop it,” Andy averted her gaze, apparently abashed. Nile just snickered at her.
“She must be crazy if she ain’t taking you back like that!”
Andy chuckled softly, before lightly shaking her head.
“I wish it were that easy…”