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Louis hadn't expected his first day at a new school in a new town to go well, and he was right. It was his third year of high school, and while everyone else already had their tightly knit groups of friends, Louis was alone.
On top of that, Louis was clearly, blatantly, flamboyantly gay, and he didn't have to say it for anyone to catch on. While the school he went to in Doncaster the year before had been accepting, this one wasn't as much.
At Doncaster, Louis had been pretty popular, despite his sexuality and society's judgmental ways. At Doncaster, he had friends who had gotten to know him before he came out. When he did, the best of his mates (and his now-ex girlfriend) stuck around, while the other, less accepting of his friends, merely distanced themselves.
People knew his personality and how nice and fun he was, and they didn't care as much. Of course, there were homophobes everywhere, but Louis had enough friends that he was relatively safe.
However, his parents had gotten a divorce (one that had involved way too many screaming matches) and his mother had moved to the much bigger town of Manchester, bringing him and his four sisters with her. He tried not to think about how his mom and dad’s fighting had started just after he came out.
At this new school, everyone took one look at him, and instantaneously, he was labeled as "different". No one knew what he was really like, and knew one took the chance to get to know him because of his sexual preferences. It kind of really sucked.
It's Monday morning of his third week of school at this new town now, and Louis has made a total of one friend - some kid in his grade that took pity on him at lunch and sat with him.
Louis' not sure if the kid, Liam, was just being nice or if he was equally as lonely. He thinks it's the former reason - Liam is pretty much nice to everyone, and he only sits with Louis some days. He's invited Louis to sit with him and his other mates over at their table, but Louis declines politely each time. Louis recognizes some of their faces as a few of the guys that whisper rude remarks to him in passing.
Fortunately, he hasn't been bullied too badly - yet - besides the occasional snide comment as he walks the hallways. The teachers are pretty good at cracking down on bullies and seem pretty accepting, that which he's thankful for. At least his biggest problem is being a semi-loner and not being some douchebag slash closeted homosexual's punching bag. Lucky him.
It's English class, now, and he's seated in the back left corner of the class, his nose tucked in his copy of Romeo & Juliet. Not like he needs to read it, given that in Donny they had read the play in their first year of high school, but it's a good shield from curious eyes.
They've moved quickly through the play, unlike at Doncaster where his teacher would have them act out every scene. That had been fun, and he still loved drama, but he's had enough of overdramatic lovers who seem to want to off themselves at the slightest provocation.
The teacher is explaining some assignment that they have to do; an essay analyzing whether or not the famous quote they're assigned is applicable to the character of Romeo & Juliet that they're assigned. Thank God it's not to be done in partners, since Liam, who would be his only option, doesn't have English with him.
The teacher comes around with a hat in her hand, clearing her throat to get his attention. He looks up at her from his book, and mumbles an apology, before reaching in and drawing out a slip of paper.
He looks down at his slip of paper.
The quote he’s assigned is "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." by Albert Einstein, and the character he’s assigned is Romeo.
Oh, joy.
+
At lunch that day, Liam tells Louis that he and his friends are staying after school to work in the library.
"They're nice lads, I swear. I mean, they might spend the time fooling around, but we do have a World Studies project to research for, and I know about that English assignment you have to do. Niall, he's in your class. You should join us." Liam says, looking earnest.
Louis doesn't know why he accepts the invitation this time, but he does. It might be because of how sincere Liam looks, or maybe because he knows who Niall is and the Irish lad has seemed pretty nice to him so far.
"Yeah, ok." Louis replies, and Liam looks almost relieved, like he was genuinely worried about Louis, despite how short a time he's known him.
The bell rings, and they move to get up. Before they part their separate ways, Louis stops Liam.
"Hey. Um. I just wanted to thank you for, you know... I'm not really... Like..."
"Yeah." Liam smiles, a small, soft, genuine smile. "Yeah, I know."
+
The bell signaling the end of the day rings, and Louis couldn't be happier. As much as he loves Drama, which is his final class of the day, the skit two girls were acting out was irrevocably dull.
He heads over to his locker right away, where Liam is waiting for him, backpack strap slung over one of his shoulders.
"Hey," Louis says in greeting. "Where are your friends?"
"They'll meet us there." Liam replies, and he looks truthfully delighted at the prospect of Louis meeting his best mates.
Louis grabs his books and bag, locks his locker, and they make their way over to the library. The school is left open until late at night, but the library is only open for two hours after the final bell rings.
When they get to the library, Liam leads them both over to a table where three guys, all looking to be the same age as Louis, are sitting. Their books are open on the table, but they're not paying them any attention.
Louis recognizes Niall right away, and then the curly haired one and the dark haired one as guys who've called him some...creative...names over the past few weeks.
"Hey lads, this is Louis." Liam says as way of introduction, and Louis waves shyly.
Niall's face splits into a grin. He tells Louis his own name, and then introduces the two other boys as Harry and Zayn, who both look a bit sheepish.
Harry extends his hand, which Louis takes cautiously. "Hey, mate, m'sorry about the things we might've said. We were just teasing, but... It wasn't cool."
Zayn mumbles his agreement, but seems more focused on whatever he's drawing on his notepaper. Given that Louis has next to no friends, the apology is good enough for him. He feels some of the tension lift off his shoulders - maybe if he can befriend these boys, his time here won't be so bad.
They're five teenage lads, so, unsurprisingly, they spend the time they have mostly cracking jokes and fooling around. Louis slots into their group easily - it's a bit awkward at first, but then Zayn starts playing with Harry's curls and Louis makes some comparison to Susan Boyle and banter flows easily.
Louis' animatedly recounting the time when he and his friend from Doncaster, Stan, had filled the principal's office with frogs from the science lab, when he's abruptly interrupted.
"Shouldn't you be doing work, Mr. Styles? This is a library, after all." A teasing voice comes from behind Louis.
Harry answers with a simple, "Hey Grimmy," and a crooked smile.
Louis turns his head to see who's spoken, and he knows that if he could see his own eyes, his pupils would be dilated; the man is undeniably attractive. His hair is dark brown and slightly curly, styled into a ridiculous quiff. He has big eyes and a lopsided grin, and can't be older than twenty-five, and Louis really wants to lick the line of freckles that travel up his otherwise-unblemished neck.
The man has a name tag attached to a string hanging from his neck that pronounces him as "Nick Grimshaw", and under that "LIBRARIAN".
Louis takes one look at his obscure band shirt and big, black rimmed glasses, and the first words that tumble out of his mouth in the face of this attractive man are, "Our school's librarian is a hipster."
This, of course, sends the group into peals of laughter, except for Nick, who just looks disapproving and slightly condescending.
"A lifestyle evaluation from a sixteen-year-old. How refreshing." He says coolly, and Louis knows a challenge when he sees one.
“Yes, well, given that you are a librarian at the ripe age of twenty-something, it looks like you need one.” Louis counters, his gaze unwavering.
Nick just huffs. “I have to get back to work.” He says, and then he’s off, disappearing into the rows and rows of bookshelves.
Louis turns back to the table, and Liam is looking at him with surprised eyes, Zayn looks bored, Niall looks delighted, and Harry looks really, really impressed.
“That was incredible.” Harry tells him. Louis just laughs, but he doesn’t miss the way Nick glares at him from his desk on their way out.
+
When Louis gets home, his mother is still at work at the hospital she transferred to. Since she and his father split, she’s working double to get enough money to support them.
Louis feeds his sisters and makes sure they get to bed on time, and when his mom gets home and screams at the phone, he buries his head into his pillow and tries to block out the sounds.
A dozen or so minutes later, he’s got four sisters piled into his bed, clutching onto each other tightly, even Lottie, who swore she wasn’t bothered by the divorce. Thank god it’s a big bed.
+
The next day is good. Really good. Better than any of Louis’ other days of school. He has people he knows in each class, now, thanks to Liam, and he’s grateful that the boy took the time to sit with him and introduce him to his friends – else, he’d probably still be completely alone.
They sit together at lunch, and they joke around, and Louis feels like he might sort of fit in, finally. In Drama, Louis is praised for his exceptional reading of the script their handed and he beams the whole way home.
His mood is short-lived, however, because when he gets home, his mother is there, and is participating in a screaming match with his eldest sister, Lottie. As soon as he steps through the front door, he turns back around and shuts it behind him with a frustrated sigh. He doesn’t want to listen to his family fighting.
He has nowhere to go, since he doesn’t think he and Liam are that good friends, and even though he knows Liam would probably be there for him, he doesn’t have the boy’s phone number anyways. As a last resort, he heads back to the school. The hallways are eerily quiet and he doesn’t want to get kicked out for loitering, so he heads to the library. He needs to work on his English essay, anyway.
As soon as Louis enters the library, he spots Nick, at his desk, scribbling something down into a big notebook. Louis slinks off to the side, sitting down at a table that is shielded from the librarian’s view by a bookshelf, trying to go unnoticed.
He cracks open his copy of Romeo & Juliet, grabs paper from his bag, and gets to work. He’s in the middle of putting together his Directional Statement for the essay when a familiar voice interrupts his work.
“What are you doing here?” Nick asks from in front of him, on the other side of the table. Louis looks up in surprise.
“Just…working on my English assignment.” Louis answers cautiously, not wanting to provoke Nick again. Although showing him up was fun, he’s not in the mood.
“Without the gang? Doing actual work then, darling?” His tone is patronizing and Louis just wants him to go away.
“Yes.” Louis says curtly.
“Well, aren’t you tense?” Nick says. His voice practically oozes condescension.
Louis grits his teeth. “Please go away.”
“Aw,” Nick says his voice high and mocking. He grabs a chair from the table, and spins it around, straddling the seat. “Is something wrong?”
Louis snaps. “Yes, actually,” He hisses, gripping onto the edge of the table tightly. “Something is fucking wrong! Now if you could kindly leave me alone, that would be appreciated.”
A flash of what looks suspiciously like concern crosses Nick’s face, and the older man seems at a loss for words.
“I– do you want to talk about it?” He asks tentatively, his tone switching instantly, knowing that the subject is clearly a sensitive one.
Louis sighs. “Not particularly, no.”
Nick opens and closes his mouth repeatedly. He looks sort of like a fish. A fish way out of their comfort zone.
“Are you sure? I mean. I know I haven’t been the friendliest of guys, but… Like. You can talk to me. If- if you want.” Nick said, looking the slightest bit flustered.
Louis gapes at Nick, unsure of whether he’s being sincere or not. Since he hasn’t got anyone else to talk to, and it doesn’t seem like Nick is being menacing, he decides it can’t hurt to open up to the snarky, horribly hipster librarian.
“I’m just having some family issues at home. It’s…it’s nothing big, not really. I mean, I moved here because my parents just recently got divorced.” The more he speaks, the more his story pours out. “It was…it was tough, I suppose, but everyone saw it coming. It’s just that now, everyone’s a little high-strung, I guess, and my mom is always either at work – she’s working two jobs – or yelling on the phone at my dad or down the hall at my sister. It’s not the ideal setting for getting English assignments done, is all.”
When Louis realizes how much he’s said, he looks a bit shocked at himself. “I…I didn’t mean to dump all of that on you. I- Sorry.”
Nick shakes his head, and then raises his arm tentatively, looking like he’s torn between patting Louis’ shoulder reassuringly and bolting for the nearest exit. He chooses the latter. Louis supposes with Nick’s part-time librarian, full-time hipster schedule he must not get a lot of practice comforting people.
“Er- that’s too bad,” Nick chokes out, looking entirely uncomfortable. “Really rough.”
“Don’t worry, you don’t have to say anything.” Louis says, smiling.
Nick sighs in relief, letting his head fall down in front of him so that his forehead is resting on the seat’s back, saying “Oh thank god”, to which Louis laughs.
They sit around in semi-awkward silence, until Louis checks his phone and announces that he should get going. Nick waves at him, but looks like he has something to say, so Louis pauses.
“Just…whenever things get bad at home, you can always come to the library, okay?”
“The library’s open to all students, anyways,” Louis points out, but he’s grinning.
They separate on a much better foot than the last time.
+
Over the next few weeks, Louis continues to visit the library almost every afternoon. On the days when he's not doing school work, he's either reading or chatting with Nick. Their conversations consist mostly of banter, but the sort-of friendship they have is easy. They don't talk about Louis' family, which is nice.
Louis doesn't mention it, but even when his house is peaceful, he still prefers the company of the librarian and the few students who inhabit the library.
Nick can be pretentious and an overall twat, but Louis likes talking with him. He tries not to dwell on how attractive the man is, however. He doesn't want to scare him off by letting something like that slip into conversation. On the other hand, Louis secretly thinks that Nick finds him attractive too, what with the lingering stares he catches from the older man. He hopes he's not imagining them.
Other days Liam, Niall, Harry and Zayn join him, who he's all somewhat befriended. When that happens, Louis knows not to expect any work to be done, and when the other boys start to tease him incessantly for having a "crush", he knows not to talk to Nick, either.
The other boys' companionship is wonderful, but Louis prefers when his daily visits to the library are done by himself. It's quieter, he's more productive, and he gets to chat with Nick in passing, or hear the snarky comments sent his way in hushed tones. It's nice. He very much likes the librarian, looking past Nick's hipster tendencies and feelings of entitlement.
+
On one particular Friday, Louis leaves the school without visiting the library. He isn't feeling great that day. When he gets home, it's only worse. His sisters are just leaving, the two older ones, Lottie and Felicite, dragging two crying twins behind them.
"What's going on?" He asks, taking in the four girls' appearance.
Lottie is the first to speak. "Dad came in on a train today, to sort out some details post-divorce with Mom. They're- it's rough in there. I wouldn't go in. We're taking the girls to the park."
Louis huffs a sigh. "Do you want me to come?"
Lottie bats her hand at him. “No, no, it’s fine. We’ll see you later.” She says, gripping tightly onto Daisy’s hand just like Felicite’s doing with Phoebe’s. Louis watches the four girls walk away.
He considers his options. He could call up Liam, but his head is pounding and he’d rather just go in and have a nap. Maybe he can sneak past his parents, go to his room, and shove headphones in his ears.
Tentatively, he opens the door. Unfortunately, his parents are by the staircase right in the foyer of the house, and there’s no avoiding them. When his dad looks at him and is wearing a face of pure disgust, Louis feels nauseous.
“Can’t believe you live with this faggot.” His dad says. He wants to throw up.
His mother looks furious, though, and his father’s attention is once again focused on her. Louis backs out the doorway frantically. He had thought that the fighting would end when his parents divorced, that the feeling of guilt that he was causing all of their disagreements would go away, but yet, his father was not someone who was going to disappear from his life.
His father had never been so blunt about his disapproval. Louis thinks it might be because of his anger and the stress of the divorce. In the months leading up to the divorce, right after Louis had come out, it was clear that his father didn’t accept him, but he never outright said it unless it was to his mother.
Hearing the homophobic slur coming from his father’s mouth now, though, it brings back the feeling of guilt he’s had since the divorce. He needs to get away.
Without thinking, he finds himself at the school. Hot tears are rolling down his face, though, and he puts his hood up and heads to the library. When Nick sees him, he looks stricken. Louis is grateful that if there are other students in the library, they’re out of view.
“Louis, what happened?” Nick asks, grabbing onto Louis’ shoulders so that he has a clear view of his face.
“M-my dad was home. My parents- They were arguing, and he called me a f..a f- some things, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be crying, I’m overreacting, I just- my head hurts, and I don’t feel great, and today wasn’t the best day, and I’m sorry. I just don’t want to go home for a bit.” Louis cries out, his voice choked up. He feels whiny, and childish, and petulant, and he hopes Nick doesn’t hate him for it. “I didn’t know where to go. I’m sorry!”
“No, darling, shh, it’s okay. It’s fine. You’re okay. Why don’t we get out of here? We can go back to mine. You can stay for a little bit.” Nick suggests, wiping some of Louis’ tears with a swipe of his thumb.
Louis shoots him a watery smile. “Are you saying that so you can take advantage of me?”
Nick makes a gurgling noise in the back of his throat, looking panicked. “No! No, god, Louis, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“ He starts, but Louis interrupts him with a laugh.
“I’m kidding, Nick, seriously. I’ll text my mom to let her know. That sounds great.” Louis says, and then his voice lowers. “Thank you.”
Nick looks relieved, almost. “Alright, the library’s supposed to close soon anyways. Meet me in the parking lot.”
+
The drive to Nick’s is quiet. Louis’ resting his head against the side of the car, his eyes shut. He tries not to think about the girls or his parents, and just tries to listen to the low hum of the car’s engine and the lyrics he doesn’t recognize from some obscure band that’s being played quietly through the car speakers.
They spend the night eating cold pizza and watching bad movies, and Louis falls asleep with his head in Nick’s lap, the older man’s fingers running through his hair.
The only thing he says when he’s being drowsily lifted from the couch and moved to Nick’s bed is “Stay.”, his fingers curled tightly around Nick’s wrist and preventing him from leaving to go sleep on the couch. Nick listens, and climbs in next to him.
It’s nice. He almost forgets about his family.
+
Louis wakes up in Nick’s bed, and is confused for all of four seconds. Nick isn’t in the room anymore, but he can hear the other man puttering around in the kitchen. Louis prays that he’s making breakfast, because he’s starving.
He grabs his phone from where he remembers sleepily depositing it on the bedside table. He has five missed calls from his mom and a text from Liam. He listens to the voicemail his mom left him, and it’s just her apologizing profusely and begging him to come back. He shoots her a text message to assure her that he’s just staying at a friend’s and he’ll be back by night time.
He reads the text from Liam after, inviting him out to lunch. It’s implied that Harry, Zayn, and Niall will be there too.
[Can I bring someone?] He sends. He’d hate to leave Nick now.
Barely a minute later, his phone buzzes. [ofc. meet @ annie’s at 1.]
It’s another dozen minutes before Louis drags himself out of bed, and that’s only because Nick is knocking on the door and telling him he’s made breakfast. He’s not surprised when ‘made breakfast’ means that Nick poured him a bowl of cereal. He appreciates it, anyways.
“Good morning, darling.” Nick greets him, and he smiles. He smiles a lot around Nick.
“Good morning.” Louis says back, sitting in one of the chairs that are tucked around the small, round table in Nick’s kitchen.
Nick presents him with the cereal bowl, and they eat in relative silence, occasionally looking up to smile shyly at each other. Louis didn’t know it was possible for Nick to look timid.
“I should go home.” Louis says.
“Is that so?”
“I want to go home.”
“Really?”
“Yes. But. Liam invited us to lunch, if you’d like to come. It’s this place called Annie’s. It’s pretty nice.” Louis mentions, and Nick accepts.
+
Louis’ showered and feeling fresh, and they’re heading out the door. Nick continues to look nervous, and Louis continues to wonder why.
He’s slipping on his coat, because it’s autumn and it’s bloody freezing. Midway through pushing his left arm through the sleeve, Nick hooks two of his fingers on the lapels of the jacket and pulls Louis so that they’re facing each other. Without a word, Nick straightens Louis’ collar and tugs his sleeve on the rest of the way.
It’s awkward, and Louis feels like he should say something. “Nick, I just wanted to thank you for everything, and-“ He starts to say, but Nick holds a hand up.
“It was no problem, darling. Just doing my friend a favour.”
“Oh,” Louis says, and that’s that- Until suddenly Nick’s face is very, very close.
“I really want to kiss you.” Nick says casually, his fingers still gripped onto Louis’ sleeve.
“Ok.” Louis breathes.
“Can I?”
“Ok.” He repeats.
So Nick does. Louis wouldn’t expect Nick to kiss the way he does- slow, and tender, and really, quite nice.
He’s happy.
+
When they get to the restaurant, Nick refuses to let go of Louis’ hand, and Louis would be crazy to think that the boys wouldn’t notice.
“Are you two dating now, then?” Zayn asks, feigning disinterest.
Louis doesn’t know what to say, but Niall jumps in first. “Are you two boyfriends?”
It’s tense. Louis thanks God that Nick replies before he has to. “We could be.”
“Isn’t that illegal or summat?” Harry asks with a smirk, and any nerves Louis had quickly dissipate.
“If it is, I don’t care.” Louis says. Nick looks entirely too smug.
“Disgusting,” Zayn mutters, but he looks fond.
+
“Still want to go home?” Nick asks Louis privately midway through lunch, his head dropped so that his lips are next to Louis’ ear. His hand is rested alongside Louis’ on the table, and their pinky fingers are looped together.
“No,” Louis says, smiling in a way that reaches his eyes. “No, I’m good.”