Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Starscream was a MESS. He whimpered as he curled in on himself, his wings drooping. His processor was still fogged, but without the Emberstone to motivate the Quitessons into controlling him, it had cleared enough for him to realize what he’d done. He slowly lifted his helm, looking at the corpses of the young Aftermath and even younger Spitfire. They were dead. He’d killed them. He couldn’t bear to look at the bodies, and curled back up with a wail. He felt coolant beading in the corners of his optics, and he just freely let them fall. He had nothing left to lose. Nothing. Not his dignity, not the Chaos Terrans, not his relationship with Hashtag, not his Conjunx… Oh how he missed Skyfire. He missed him so much it hurt worse than dying had. Starscream attempted to soothe himself by focusing on the soft, warm feeling of their sparkbond. Although Skyfire had been lost millions of years ago, Starscream still carried the gentle giant in his spark… Literally. Their sparkbond quite literally bound their sparks to each other. Skyfire’s side of the bond had gone silent long ago, but the resurrection of all the Cybertronians Mandroid had killed had evidently reignited the small piece of Skyfire’s spark that was in Starscream’s… Barely, though. It was faint. When Starscream first noticed the faint pulse of life in the long dormant piece of his lover’s spark, he’d nearly fainted… But then he realized two things. One, Skyfire had most likely offlined too long ago for the Emberstone’s power surge to do anything, and two, he was most likely damaged beyond the point of staying alive long even if he was revived by it. He thought back to Hashtag, how she had been so kind to him. Her smaller but older sister, Twitch, referred to Wheeljack as her ‘Dad 2’... Perhaps if Starscream hadn’t turned on her, Hashtag could have thought of him the same way… Maybe, he could have been happy… Or maybe he was doomed to never be happy… Or maybe, it was his own fault. Starscream looked back up at the Chaos Terrans. Skyfire would be disgusted if he saw what he’d done. They were just sparklings… Sparklings like they could have had together if they hadn’t been separated. Starscream slowly sat up, clawing at his helm. He NEEDED something to drown out this deafening silence, to drown out the guilt that was eating him alive. He wanted to ignore the reality that his Conjunx was dead, that he’d either pushed away or killed anyone who’d ever cared for him. He wanted to pretend he was alright. Maybe, here in the Titan, he could pretend all was fine. He could pretend he and Skyfire were still safe and sound together… He stood up, walking over to the lifeless sparklings, still letting coolant stream down his faceplates. He gently took the small body of Spitfire in his arms, letting her limp head rest against his chassis. She was much easier to hold than Aftermath… And her name was close to Skyfire’s. Just replace the ‘pit’ with ‘ky’ and it’d be his name. Maybe, Starscream could pretend that he and Skyfire were a family, just as his kind and loving partner had always dreamed of. Spitfire and Aftermath could be their sparklings… It would be a way to keep himself company… Primus, he’d really gone insane, hadn’t he?

Chapter Text

“Hey Screamer. Can I sit with you?” Starscream didn’t bother to look up at Hashtag as she sat down near the door to his cell.
“No.” He said sharply, clutching his knees close to his chassis. He didn’t want to see her. He didn’t want to be reminded of everyone he’d hurt. He just wanted to be left alone to waste away. He didn’t deserve the attention and kindness of this young, naive sparkling. He deserved to rot.
“Ya’know, I kinda guessed you’d say that.” Hashtag said. She still didn’t move.
“You shouldn’t be here…” Starscream muttered.
“Well, I wanted to talk to you.” Hashtag said. Starscream honestly thought she wouldn’t have heard that… Then again, she was quite perceptive. It reminded him of himself when he was young. Curious, hopeful… Although, perhaps he was a bit more headstrong than she was. He still didn’t know how he’d ended up with Skyfire. He never deserved the patience and love of his kind, gentle lab partner, and he didn’t deserve the patience of Hashtag.
“There’s nothing to talk about. I’m not worth talking to.” Starscream hissed.
“That’s a bit… Harsh… But… I definitely have something to talk about. I want to know… Why you did it.” Hashtag said.
“Why I did what?” Starscream pretended he didn’t know, only because it was too painful to think about. He didn’t want to remember what he’d done. He didn’t want to remember all the people he’d hurt, all the people who’d hurt him. He just wished he could join Skyfire in the Allspark. Maybe then he could finally find happiness… And no one would get hurt by his stupid, stupid self. Hashtag wouldn’t be burdened by him anymore.
“You know what I’m talking about. I know you do. You hurt my friends, you hurt my family, you nearly destroyed Witwicky. I thought you were my friend, Starscream. It hurt when you started fighting us. You killed Spitfire and Aftermath! They’re just kids! They worked for you! They’re my cousins...” Hashtag said. Starscream whined quietly, clinging tighter to himself.
“I… I’m sorry… I didn’t… Want to…” He said.
“What do you mean by ‘you didn’t want to?’ Then why’d you do it?” Hashtag asked.
“The Quintessons… They felt the surge of Quintus Prime’s power when you and your siblings undid Mandroid’s damage… And they… Used me to try and get his power…” Starscream said, only just now looking up at Hashtag.
“That’s… That’s horrible! Why didn’t you say something sooner?!” Hashtag said.
“I don’t want to talk about it… It’s all my fault…” Starscream said.
“No, no it isn’t! Starscream, you were controlled, manipulated, you didn’t have a choice, how could that be your fault?!” Hashtag said.
“Because I was too weak to fight back!” Starscream shouted. He felt coolant pooling in his eyes. “I couldn’t resist their control… And It nearly killed you and your siblings… It did kill your cousins…”
“Starscream… I… I know what you’re feeling… Scared, guilty, helpless… I know what it feels like to lose control of your body…” Hashtag said.
“Y-you do…?” Starscream asked.
“Back when Mandroid was still around… He took control of me, made me hurt my siblings… I felt bad about it for months. Still do. But it helps knowing they don’t blame me.” Hashtag continued.
“You should blame me…” Starscream said.
“No, Starscream, I shouldn’t! Why would you say that?!” Hashtag said. She then paused for a moment. “I know you probably don’t want me to come in but… Would it make you feel better if we weren’t separated by this whole… Forcefield, thingy?” Hashtag said, gesturing to the energon field.
“It’s not like I could stop you… It’s not like I deserve an opinion…” Starscream said.
“Okay where is that coming from? Starscream, is this really just about the Quintessons controlling you… Or is there something else going on…?” Hashtag asked. “I promise, I’ll listen to whatever you say.” she said softly.
“It’s just… I still don’t feel like I’m thinking straight… Even with the Quintessons gone… It still feels like they're in my processors… Making me… Do things… Think things… Say things… I feel like I could still hurt you… Like I failed you… Like I failed Spitfire and Aftermath… Like I’m not enough…” Starscream said. He was always closed off… But he just felt like he couldn’t hold it in anymore… He didn’t want to bother Hashtag, but he felt like he needed to tell someone. Even then though, he was leaving out a lot of details. Repressed memories that had been resurfacing recently, the painful feeling of losing Skyfire, how much Megatron’s heavy handed punishments had scarred him… He didn’t want Hashtag to know about the true horrors of his life. She didn’t need that. No one needed to hear him whine… That was something Megatron always told him… No one wanted to listen to him whine…
“Starscream… Please, listen to me. I’m not always the best at this kind of thing, but I know that you need help. And don’t say you don’t deserve it.” Hashtag said.
“But… I… I really don’t deserve your kindness… I…” Hashtag was so much like Skyfire. She was so nice to him, no matter how much he told her to stop… Starscream started thinking back on Skyfire, thinking back on all the fond memories they’d shared, the day they got officially Conjunxed… He remembered the snow storm… The remembered Skyfire falling out of the sky beside him, plummeting towards the Earth faster that Starscream could follow… He remembered losing sight of him… Searching… Finding nothing… Searching some more… Returning to Cybertron… Skyfire’s side of their sparkbond going dark… Joining the Decepticons… Megatron hurting him…. Trying to break free, to take control… Megatron hurting him more… Starscream began to hyperventilate as he spiraled. Hashtag said something, but Starscream didn’t understand her panicked words. He began vaguely hearing the sounds of the energon field lowering, and before he knew what was going on, he was suddenly wrapped securely in someone’s arms… Sky…? No, too small… But who else would care enough to comfort him…?
“Hey, hey, you’re alright. Everything’s fine, the Quintessons are gone, everyone’s okay, Megatron isn’t going to hurt you anymore. I promise.” It was Hashtag… That’s… Right… He wasn’t back in that snowstorm, searching desperately for Skyfire… He wasn’t bleeding and battered on the Nemesis with Megatron… He was with a friendly, eager, tech savvy Terran named Hashtag… Starscream, after a moment, gently returned the hug of the purple Terran.
“I’m… I’m sorry! I didn’t want to hurt anyone! I just- I was- I’m sorry! I don’t want you to hate me! I don’t want to be hurt- I just wish I could- I’m sorry!” Starscream’s voice cracked as he cried out repeated apologies and broken half-sentences. Coolant flooded down his faceplates, pooling on Hashtags armor as he clung to her like a lifeline.
“It’s okay, it’s okay. Look, if the Quintessons took control of you, that’s not your fault. You didn’t have a choice. I’m not mad.” Hashtag said.
“You don’t… Hate me…?” Starscream asked.
“Okay, well, I’m a bit upset, but… I believe in you… I believe that you can prove you’ve changed. Please, don’t give me a reason not to…”
“I already did… When I hurt your family…” Starscream said. “Why… Why are you still hugging me… Why’d you comfort me at all?”
“Because I still believe you’re the same Starscream you were when I first met you. And because hugs always make me and my siblings feel better, so I thought they’d help you too.” Hashtag said. “And it looks like it did.”
“I… Thank you…” Starscream muttered quietly. She sounded so much like Skyfire… He clung to her even tighter, trying not to get lost in the memories of his deceased Conjunx again. Skyfire was gone… Nothing could ever replace him… But… That didn’t mean he couldn’t care about Hashtag too, right?

Chapter Text

Starscream lay on the medical berth in the Autobot’s makeshift med bay, staring up at the ceiling blankly.
“Starscream…” Hashtag started. Starscream turned away. He didn’t even want to catch a glimpse of her disappointed face. He’d failed her yet again. How did he end up like this? He was once an accomplished commander of the Decepticons, he was once a scientist… And now he couldn’t even deal with his own delusions… Well, in all honesty, this had been an accident. He’d been spiraling, and in some fabricated need for self-defense, his claws caught on his own armor while he was trying to fend off some imaginary attacker. He hadn't even noticed that the pain he was feeling was his own doing, not because of the 'attacker.' Thank Primus Hashtag wasn’t there at the time… He would have never forgiven himself if he’d hurt her instead of himself…

“Starscream… What happened?” The purple Terran said. Starscream ignored her. “Starscream,” Hashtag persisted. “I wanna know what happened. I got a few details from Thrash, but…” she trailed off. Thrash… The little motorcycle who’d been the one to discover his panic attack… Primus how much they freaked out. The Terrans had never seen self-harm before, even if it had been unintentional. Starscream  flinched and sat bolt upright when he felt her touch his servo, pulling the afflicted appendage close to his chassis. He felt a stinging pain and realized that the movement had torn open one of his wounds…He didn’t want to be touched right now… Even if he did kinda want the comfort it provided…
“Hey, hey, calm down. It’s just me.” Hashtag said. “I’m not mad, I just wanna know what happened…”
“I- I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to… Do this…” Starscream said, his wings tensing.
“I… Then why? What happened? Thrash said you were mumbling something about Megatron… Were you… Remembering all the bad things he did while in charge of you?” Hashtag asked
“I wasn’t trying to do this… I panicked… I… I failed you… I… I…” Starscream’s voice cracked.
“No, no, don't say that. That’s not helping… Try thinking about something other than what you did wrong-”
“But I did something wrong… Megatron would always punish me for the slightest slipup…” Starscream said.
“Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best choice of words… What I meant was that, what you did wasn’t okay, but I’m not mad about it. You’re still healing… And Megatron isn’t going to hurt you anymore. He’s changed, and you can too.” Hashtag said. Starscream tried to pull his servo away from her, but she held him tightly.
“Please… Let go…” Starscream pleaded. He didn’t want her to touch him. He didn’t feel worthy of her touch… He didn’t feel worthy of anything…
“No… I can’t. I won’t. Starscream, I don’t want you to feel like you don’t deserve comfort… I don’t want to feel like I’m not doing enough to help you.” Hashtag said solemnly. Starscream winced. He’d made Hashtag feel like it was her fault…
“I… I… You’re… You’re fine… Hashtag… You’re doing too much, really…” the damaged Seeker said. He wanted to comfort her, but was too fragile right now to even comfort himself.
“I… Starscream…” Hashtag had coolant welling at the corners of her optics. Starscream’s own optics widened. Oh no… No no no no no no he didn’t want Hashtage to cry.
“I- Please… Please no… Please don’t cry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to! I’m not worth crying over, don’t cry… I can’t bear seeing you cry over me…” Starscream said, starting to spiral again. He’d been back in the Autobot base for less than a week and had already caused her so many problems… Wheeljack, who’d been in the room since he was the closest thing the Autobots had to a medic, seemed to pick up on his distress.
“Why don’t you go check on your siblings, Hashtag? I think Starscream needs a moment alone.” he said.
“But… He needs help. I can’t leave him like this!” Hashtag said, coolant… Actually, for the Terrans, it was probably water, flowing freely from her optics.
“Hashtag, I know it’s hard to leave him like this, but you’re upsetin- hey, now, it’s not something you did, he’s just… I… Uh… How ‘bout this, I’ll let you back in as soon as Starscream recharged a bit, ‘kay?” Wheeljack said, resting a comforting servo on Hashtag’s shoulder.
“But- I- I-… Alright…” the Terran said solemnly, her helm hung low as she let Wheeljack guide her out the door. Starscream clutched his knees close to his chassis, his own optics starting to leak. He didn’t want to make Hashtag upset!
“I didn’t mean to…” He whispered, more to himself than her. Wheeljack sighed as he turned back to his patient.
“Ya’know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a mech claw themself this bad before, let alone by accident.” he said.
“Please… don’t talk to me…” Starscream requested.
“Alright, alright, no small talk. Just, try to get some rest? It’ll help you recover if you don’t strain too much. Hopefully you’ll feel better when ya wake up.” Wheeljack said. Starscream just stared blankly ahead.
“That… Sounds like a good idea…” He said quietly, still staring numbly at the door. He didn’t actually move to lie down until Wheeljack started getting concerned and coaxed him into a laying position. Starscream felt the dull sting of the torn weld being mended, but didn’t react… He didn’t want to rest… But… It’d probably make Hashtag feel better if he recharged… He wanted to make her feel better. He shuttered his optics with a quiet groan, falling into a fitful recharge cycle after a few moments.

Starscream gently opened his optics, before closing them again and curling up tighter. He didn’t want to get up. The gentle thrum of Skyfire’s spark within his chassis was soothing, and Starscream wished he could have stayed like that forever... But alas, they had a job to do… The prospect of exploring an uncharted planet was quite exciting, but he still wanted to cuddle with his conjunx for a little longer. He begrudgingly sat upright, gently shaking out his wings, which had gotten a bit stiff from recharging in a weird position. He smiled softly. Usually Skyfire was up before him.
“Wake up, sweetspark.” he said, gently prodding his sparkmate’s chassis. Skyfire’s optical shutters fluttered as he woke with a slight groan.
“Mhm… Is it time to go already?” Skyfire asked softly.
“Yes. Unless you want to stay here instead of-”
“No, no, it’s fine. Just thought we had more time.” Skyfire said.
“Well, you came out of recharge late.” Starscream teased.
“Oh hush. I can’t even count the amount of times we’ve been late because you overcharged.” Skyfire said, sitting up with Starscream still clinging to him. The seeker currently latched onto his chassis reached up to kiss him.
“And yet you still love me.” he teased.
“Maybe,” Skyfire said coyly.
“Maybe?! I’ll have you know I am amazing! How could you not love me?” Starscream said, mildly offended.
“Exactly. How could I not?” Skyfire said, gently lifting his tiny partner up and off his chassis. Starscream couldn’t hold back a soft giggle. Skyfire smiled. Oh how Starscream loved seeing him smile.

Chapter Text

Dark… Cold… Terror clenched at his spark… Lost… Someone was beside him… No… They weren’t anymore… Skyfire was… Gone… And in his place was Megatron… His whole frame was in agony, and the hits just kept coming… He wailed… He wanted Skyfire back… He didn’t want this… Monster… He tried to find his beloved conjunx… But was met with only snow, stained bright pink from his own energon… He felt a sharp pain through his spark… Their sparkbond was… Torn… Skyfire was gone…  He… He could see it… It was all his fault… Megatron was there… Taunting him as he stood over the corpse of his lover… Laughing at his misery…

Starscream woke with a jolt, his venting fast and uneven. It was dark in his cell, the only light being the gentle glow of the energon field. He was alone… All alone… Trapped in a cell once more… He would never be free, would he? Even if he wasn’t in a physical prison, he could never be in control of his own life. Whether it be under Lord Megatron’s command, trapped in G.H.O.S.T. 's facilities, being mind controlled by the Quintessons, or imprisoned in the Titan, he would always be trapped in one form or another. Always someone’s puppet… Always someone’s prisoner… Never his own bot… He hated it. He hated it so much! But… He hated himself more. He hated himself for being too weak to protect himself from the Quintessons’ control, too weak to protect himself from Megatron’s heavy hands, too weak to keep Thundercracker safe, too stupid to find Skyfire before it was too late… Skyfire… The only bot besides his siblings to make him feel like an equal… Until Hashtag came along… She didn’t treat him like he was lesser... He was still hyperventilating, still panicking. He tried to remind himself that it was just a dream, that, thank Primus, Megatron and Skyfire had never met, but it had still shaken him up quite a bit. His processor was tormenting him, combining some of the most horrible things in his life into nothing short of his worst nightmare. He flinched when he heard the sounds of heavy pedesteps outside his cell. He didn’t even have to look up to know who it was.
“Starscream,” Megatron hissed at him. Starscream tensed but didn’t look up. He was so, so glad Megatron had never met Skyfire. Starscream would never forgive himself if he let his conjunx fall into Megatron’s servos, used and discarded as needed… Just like Thundercracker had been… Megatron hadn’t even waited a week before replacing him with Nova Storm. Starscream tried his best to push those thoughts out of his processors. He’d gone without Skyfire for four million years, why did it now seem every moment was spent mourning him? “Look at me, Starscream.” Megatron said, growing increasingly agitated. Starscream refused to listen to him. He never again wanted to be under Megatron’s command, never again wanted to be the outlet for his anger… That was part of why he always wanted to take control. Sure, he had his own ambitions, but he also just wanted to feel like he was the one in control. Like he wasn’t at the mercy of someone else. “Typical. You can’t even look me in the eye. You’re too cowardly to face the consequences of your actions, just as you’ve always been. I don’t know how you convinced Hashtag you weren’t to blame for what happened, but I see right through you. You were my second in command for millions of years, you think I don’t know what you’re like? You’re manipulative, cowardly, and you’d do anything to get what you want.” Megatron practically snarled at him. Starscream’s wings tensed.
“You know nothing about me.” He hissed.
“Oh really? You think after all these centuries of your constant backstabbing that I wouldn’t know you? Please.” Megatron said, crossing his arms.
“You only know what I was like in the Decepticon ranks. You don’t know what I’ve been through, you don’t know the things I’ve seen, the pain I’ve felt. You. Know. NOTHING. ” Starscream repeated, standing up. He was still a bit sore from his recent injuries, but he wasn’t going to kneel before Megatron any longer.
“I know you better than you think, Starscream. Whatever you told Hashtag, just know she’ll see through it eventually. Face it. We all know you’re lying, we all know what you’ll do for power. Killing two new sparks is hardly beneath you.” Megatron growled. How. DARE he! Starscream felt his anger boiling beneath his plating, burning through the cracks in his armor and melting its way out of his protoform.
“You really think I’d willingly murder two children?! You seriously think I’d stood so low as to take the life, the hope, the chance to live an actual life from two protoforms?! You think I’d lose the bond with my only remaining family, the trust of the only person willing to see me as someone worth seeing, my final hope of freedom, all for control of some stupid mudball in the middle of nowhere?! I hate this planet! I lost EVERYTHING because of this planet!” Starscream snapped. He couldn’t take this anymore. He couldn’t just stand there while being blamed for things he didn’t do. His clearest memories of the events of the past year were drowned in fog, and he had no control over what happened. It wasn’t his fault! He was starting to cry again… Seemed like a daily occurrence nowadays. The emotions he’d fought so hard to keep hidden for millennia kept bubbling to the surface like a vile poison, wanting to melt him from the inside out. Megatron just scowled at him.
“Save the theatrics, Starscream. You can’t fool me. I know the things you’ll do to save your own spark, the lies you’ll tell to deflect the blame. Don’t act like you’re the victim. I know it’s fake.” The former warlord said. Starscream felt like attacking something. He wished he could tear through the energon field separating them and take his long awaited revenge on his abuser… But instead, he just curled in on himself, pained and upset.
“Just leave me alone!” He shouted, feeling his intake constricting and his tanks churning. He thought the pain was just the burning agony of his own inner turmoil, his frame stressed under the weight of his emotions… Until he realized this was not because of his breakdown. He felt like he couldn’t get enough air into his intake... He felt like he was going to purge… There was something in his tanks that definitely shouldn’t be there. Something he thought he’d already purged his systems of.
“Oh, pretending to be injured now, Starscream? Some things never change.” Megatron hissed, not believing that his former second in command was actually hurt. He vividly remembered all the times Starscream would lie to get his way, and how much he’d commit to those lies.
“Just… Leave… Please…” Starscream gasped. He refused to let Megatron see him like this. He started coughing, feeling his tubes burn as a vile substance leaked from within his poisoned system.
“What kind of trick is this…” Megatron said, appalled by the dark green sludge bubbling up from the seeker’s innersystems. A horrible mixture of Quintesson filth and energon.

Chapter Text

Skywarp stared out at the vast expanse of stars before her. It was quiet by this time, everyone having retreated to whatever corner of the ship they’d claimed as theirs. Everyone but her. She was too busy thinking about everything that happened, but mostly about her brothers. Such a cruel fate to befall the triplets… One dead, one broken, and the other struggling to pick up the pieces. She’d tried to move on, pretend things were fine after Thundercracker’s death. She’d happily accepted Nova Storm as a sister (she’d really had no choice in being moved to their trine, it wasn’t her fault she replaced Thundercracker), and that had only led to Starscream lashing out at her, saying she didn’t care about Thundercracker’s death. She cared, of course she cared… She missed her brothers. Not just Thundercracker. Both her brothers. Even after all Starscream had done, she missed him too. She wished things could go back to the way they were, before everything. Not before the incident with Terratronus, not before the war, before everything. Before Skyfire’s death. That was when everything fell apart… That was when Starscream joined them in military training… When Starscream became distant… When Starscream started falling apart… Her brother had lost two of the people he cared about most to that little mudball called Earth, and now? He was trapped there, alone with bots who hated him… She could still remember how they used to act back then… Young, naive cadets, unaware of the tragedy that would befall them. Starscream had been so different back then… So much less defensive, so much more… Himself. Before he’d been broken by Megatron’s abuse, before he’d been shattered by loss… She just wished she could have held her family together… Stopped her brothers from arguing… Stopped Starscream from completely losing his processor… Stop the fight that had led to Thundercracker’s death… Her wings tensed, and her grip tightened on the command console. She wished she could have stopped Starscream and Skyfire from ever going to that stupid planet! She’d had a bad feeling about it from the very start… If she’d just pushed harder… Kept them from going… Maybe, she’d still have her family. She chirped slightly in frustration and self-loathing, her wings twitching softly. This was all her fault… She could have stopped all of this and she didn’t… None of this would have happened if she hadn’t been so stupid…
“You good?” Skywarp jumped slightly at Nova Storm’s voice.
“N-no… I’m not…” She said, her wings drooping.
“Is it about your brothers?” Nova Storm asked, walking over and sitting next to her adoptive sister. Skywarp didn’t respond. “Thought so.” Nova Storm sighed. “It’s really not your fault, you know. You tried your best.”
“But-”
“You had no way of knowing that you could have stopped them at all, and you had no idea what would happen. It’s not your fault.” Nova Storm cut her off. Skywarp was still for a moment, before she hesitantly walked over… She then burst into tears, clinging to her sister.
“I just want my brothers back! I want none of this to have ever happened! It just gets worse knowing that I might have been able to stop it!” Skywarp sobbed. This all could have been avoided if she’d just stopped them from leaving, if she’d pushed harder about them staying on Cybertron. Nova Storm allowed her sister to cry, trilling softly, trying to soothe her.
“You’re being too hard on yourself. Knock it off. Starscream probably blames himself too. I mean, he was the one there with… What was his name? Jetfire?” she asked.
“S-Skyfire… And yeah… He did blame h-himself… A lot…” Skywarp sniffled. “He blamed himself for Thundercracker’s d-death too…”
“See? And did it fix anything? No.” Nova Storm said. “It didn’t. And neither did yelling at me for replacing him.” She was a bit bitter about that.
“He wasn’t always like this… He used to be a lot nicer…” Skywarp murmured.
“Yeah, you’ve told me about that. How he used to be a science mech, used to be not completely unhinged, all that, but it doesn’t change the fact he took his grief out on us. It wasn’t our fault.” Nova Storm said.
“It wasn’t Marrissa’s fault either, and he still got mad at her…” Skywarp said. Marissa… Right. That human femme Thundercracker had been so fond of… Nova Storm remembered how awkward it had been when her trine insisted they visit her after they’d escaped G.H.O.S.T.'s custody. She didn’t know Marissa that well, but she seemed like a nice lady. That interaction had been weird, and she’d felt incredibly out of place… Well, at least she never had to visit Earth again… They were finally going home. Home to Cybertron.

“I’m worried about Starscream…” Hashtag said, idly petting Fluffy Ears in an attempt to calm her nerves. The cow let out a moo.
“I never thought I’d say this, but yeah… I’m also kinda worried about the guy.” Thrash said. “I still can’t get rid of the image of him just… Tearing himself apart…” they murmured. They reached out to pet Fluffy Ears as well, trying to distract themself from the gruesome memory.
“I almost forgot you walked in on that… I only saw the aftermath and I felt like purging… I can’t imagine what it was like to see it happen in real time.” Hashtag said. “And even then Megatron still didn’t believe him! Like, I know Starscream isn’t exactly the most trustworthy bot, but come on!” She added, throwing her arms out for emphasis.
“He sounded so… Scared… Like he didn’t know where he was…” Thrash said.
“I don’t think he did… I hope he’s okay…” Hashtag said. She paused for a moment, before looking up at her brother. “We should visit him, just to make sure.”
“I- uh, shouldn’t we ask mom first?” Thrash said. But alas, his sister was already halfway out the door. “Hashtag!” He called after her, giving chase.