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Seven months. Three weeks. Two days. That’s how long it had been since Gabe had passed, Nolan was counting. It was probably sick of him to keep track of how long it had been since his ex-boyfriend passed, but he couldn’t help himself. It reassured a part of him that still saw Gabe, out of the corner of his eyes in the darkness of his bedroom late at night. Gabe was dead. Gabe had been dead for seven months, three weeks, and two days. Nolan knew that because he had been there when it happened, when Gabe got shot. When his eyes closed for the last time.
The blinding hospital lights lit up the scene in front of Nolan, making it impossible for him to miss. It was ironic; here they were in the middle of Beacon Hills Memorial Hospital, a place dedicated to saving the good and the bad, but not Gabe. No one was rushing to save him or do anything for him, not even Nolan himself. Nolan wanted Gabe to live, or at least he kept telling himself that over and over again. Gabe crawled across the room, leaving a trail of blood behind him. He panted hard as he leaned up against some wall filled with pills. Pain radiated from him, something so palpable Nolan felt it through his own body like he had been shot too.
“It hurts,” Gabe cried. He sounded in a way that was so foreign, the harsh tone Nolan associated with the dying boy in front of him replaced by stone-cold fear. Even the evilest of people found themselves scared when death came to collect. It left Nolan feeling powerful, happy in a fucked-up way, but he couldn’t help it. Gabe finally understood, felt what Nolan felt the past two years: a wreck, holding on to hope for someone to save him but knowing nobody would. Gabe let out a wet cough, blood dripping down his chin.
Nolan wretched at the sight, turning away from Gabe. He looked to his left, where Melissa McCall was standing. Pity riddled her face, but she made no move to do anything. A nurse in a hospital letting someone die knowing she’d be able to save the boy in front of her. Nolan wanted her to save him. He opened his mouth to beg, to plead for her to do something, but nothing came out. He turned back to Gabe, surprised at what had happened in the few seconds he had looked away.
Theo was kneeling in front of Gabe, the chimera was gripping the other boy’s arm. An unnatural blackness filled Gabe’s veins, circling in his arm and then leaking into Theo’s own. Nolan had so many things to say, he wanted to tell Theo to stop and ask what he was doing to beg someone to help Gabe, but he couldn’t. Gabe’s panting slowed, almost like it no longer hurt for him to breathe.
“Does it hurt anymore?” Theo asked. He spoke softly like he actually cared.
“No,” Gabe whispered.
Theo nodded, “Good.” Nolan watched frozen as the color slipped away from Gabe’s eyes before they finally closed. His head tilted to the side. A part of Nolan felt relieved; another wanted to just pretend the other boy was asleep. He was peaceful, nice when he was asleep.
Seven months. Three weeks. One day. That was the time since Nolan, along with Sheriff Stilinski, had broken the news to Gabe’s parents. Gabe’s sweet and loving parents, Glenn and Lisa. How could two amazing souls create a monster? Nolan had never quite been sure.
Nolan was standing next to where Sheriff Stilinski sat in the light blue plush chair. It had taken so much courage to enter the house. He still had to tell himself that this wasn’t an obligation anymore. He didn’t have to keep looking over his shoulder. Nolan didn’t have to keep looking at the stairs that were to his right every couple of seconds or listen for the heavy footsteps, the telltale sign of Gabe descending down the stairs. He didn’t have to do any of that stuff anymore, but this house just being it in would always have him in a constant state of fear. In death, Gabe still had a severe amount of power over him. Nolan still wasn’t completely sure this was not one of Gabe’s fucked-up games. Back at the hospital, he expected the other boy just to stand up, laugh in his face, and tell him that he couldn’t escape. He was still afraid that would happen, that any minute now Gabe would come down the stairs with that smug look on his face. What was blatant fear was mistaken by Glenn and Lisa for grief.
“Oh, Nolan, honey, come sit,” Lisa told him, tears shinning in her brown eyes that she had shared with her son. Though, hers had a color to it, a sparkle that Gabe’s never had. She patted the empty space next to her on the couch, her and Glenn were sitting on directly across from Nolan and the sheriff.
Nolan smiled, politely shaking his head. “Uh, actually, I think I’m going to leave. I want to head home and get some rest,” he told her. It felt wrong lying to her; she had always been so kind to him. Now, here he was returning that favor by lying to her. They couldn’t tell her how Gabe really died during Monroe’s orders, shot by the one woman he trusted and followed blindly. Lisa thought Gabe died because of a mugging gone wrong; everybody else in the town would as well. They would think Gabe died shaving Nolan because that was the story that he was told to stick by. Sheriff Stilinski thankfully took Nolan’s words as his cue to stand up and announce his departure as well, which Nolan was grateful for. This house was haunted, and Nolan didn’t want to spend another minute here consumed and held bu the weight of Gabe and the things he’d done that the walls in this house witnessed.
Gabe’s funeral was seven months and two weeks ago. Nolan went alone. The pack was learning to trust him, and they hadn’t liked Gabe, so he didn’t blame them for not wanting to go. He hadn’t even wanted to go, something he would never saw aloud or admit really. Theo and Liam had both known, though, and called him out on it.
“Nolan, you’re shaking the whole truck,” Liam exclaimed, his voice cutting through the tense silence that had filled the truck. Nolan’s eyes quickly snapped up from where they were staring a hole into the ground. He managed to stop his leg from bouncing; it was a habit he had picked up recently. He had so much nervous energy lately that he couldn’t sit still without pulling his hair out of his head, so he started bouncing his leg.
“Do you even want to go?” Theo asked, not beating around the bush. His voice was as harsh as ever but held an undertone of something genuine. The question surprised both Nolan and Liam, though. Theo was blunt that something in the past couple of weeks or so that the trio had spent together, helping where they could, had led Nolan to learn about him. Another thing he had learned about Theo was that he only really cared and paid attention to Liam. However, here he was showing some interest and care about Nolan, someone who less than a month ago was trying to kill him. The fact that Theo was showing that care for Nolan, in his own way, and the question itself really caught Nolan off guard. Did he want to go? He didn’t really know anymore. He thought this was what he was supposed to do. There was no guidebook on what to do when your boyfriend died, but Nolan felt like if there was, it would tell you to go to his funeral, so that’s what Nolan is doing.
“Yeah, of course, I want to go,” Nolan replied, though it lacked confidence. Liam frowned and exchanged a look with Theo. It was clear he wanted to say something, but he didn’t.
Gabe’s death, telling his parents he was dead, his funeral— they were all events that told Nolan what he already knew: Gabe was dead. He had been for seven months. Gabe was dead, but his damage wasn’t. The people he hurt weren’t. The consequences of his actions were all still here. It hadn’t died with Gabe. It was all still alive. Gabe was dead, but he should have power over Nolan, but he still did.
-
Nolan was at the McCall house in Alec’s bedroom, they were lazily making out on the bed. This was as far as they’d gone in the last two months they had been dating; every time Nolan had tried to initiate anything, Alec had shifted away from it. Until now, the werewolf’s hand slipped around Nolan’s waist, pushing him down to the bed. He kissed Nolan with more force; what had once been sweet and lazy turned heated and fast. Nolan smiled against Alec’s lips, tilting his head to the side and signaling the go-ahead. Nolan wanted this; he wanted Alec. However, arousal slipped away from Nolan’s body, leaving as quickly as it came; pure pain replaced it. It was no longer Alec on top of him but someone else. Someone who was never this soft and gentle with him.
“You want this, Nolan. You can’t go back now. Show your new boy how much of a slut you are.” Gabe’s voice was smug, his body cold. Blood oozed from his mouth as he spoke, making his voice sound wet. This wasn’t what Nolan wanted. He wanted Alec. Where was Alec? What was happening? He shoved Gabe off him, scrambling away from the bed.
“Get away from me,” Nolan told him. He suddenly wasn’t able to get air into his lungs. He panted as he moved desperately, trying to find somewhere to hide. Why couldn’t Gabe leave him alone? Why couldn’t he stay dead? Something was said, but it was too muffled. All Nolan could focus on was finding somewhere to hide. He opened the door to Alec’s closet, slamming it shut.
Alec groaned as his back hit the floor, hard. “What the fuck,” he mumbled, rubbing his head. In that moment, he was grateful for his healing abilities because he would definitely have had a concussion. He slowly sat up, looking around. As he did, he watched Nolan book it into the closet. “Nolan?” he called out in confusion.
“Leave me alone, Gabe!” Nolan exclaimed, sounding like he was gasping for air. He spoke like he was in too much pain to get any air into his lungs, but Alec couldn’t smell any blood or sense any injuries on Nolan, just his panic.
“Nolan, it’s Alec,” the beta spoke, softly. There wasn’t any response, but he could hear Nolan inside the closet. He was on the verge of a panic attack, and Alec hated that he couldn’t do anything about it. “Baby, it’s me, please?” he reached forward to open the closet door but stopped when Nolan let out the most painful whimper. Alec wasn’t sure what to do. His mate was in distress, and there wasn’t anything he could do. Nolan’s earthy scent that reminded Alec of being young and playing with dirt in his front yard, getting it stuck under his nails, had been replaced by rotting milk. He backed up from the closet, grabbing his phone off his bedside table. He didn’t know who this Gabe guy was or what to do. He was just as scared as Nolan, but he wanted to help so badly.
ALEC😜 - 9:20 PM
Lowkey
does Liam ever js
hide in ur closet
wen yall have sex
PAPA 👴🏼 - 9:20 PM
on my way
“What did you do?” Theo asked as he entered Alec’s bedroom. Liam trailed behind him, which wasn’t a surprise; Alec would be more surprised if Liam hadn’t come.
“I didn’t do anything!” Alec exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air. Whenever something went wrong and Alec was in close proximity to it, Theo always blamed him, which maybe the last couple of times were his fault, but this time it wasn’t.
“Then, why is your boyfriend in your closet?” Theo asked, putting his hands on his hips, giving Alec the disappointed mom stare. The chimera wasn’t sure when he had become Alec’s babysitter, since he was sure that was Liam’s job as the fill-in Alpha with Scott off at college. While the Beta was saving Beacon Hills, Theo was trying to help while also making sure Alec didn’t almost kill himself.
“I don’t know! We were fine, and then the next thing I know, he’s crying because of someone called Gabe,” Alec told them. Theo and Liam immediately turned to look at each other, having a silent conversation. The beta slowly approached the closet, sitting down in front of it. He had been waiting for Nolan to crack while also hoping he wouldn’t. Nolan had never told him or Theo what happened between him and Gabe, but Liam had always known that their relationship wasn’t picture-perfect. It became so much more evident in the weeks following Gabe’s death. Though, Liam hadn’t really analyzed Nolan’s behavior during those weeks until after him and Theo had dropped Nolan off at Gabe’s funeral. Nolan hadn’t cried when Gabe died; he had just stood there watching it happen. Liam knew that everybody grieved differently, but if Theo had died, he would have been a wreck. If the roles were reversed and it had been Theo bleeding out in that hospital, he would have been screaming, begging someone to save him. Nolan didn’t know though; he just stood there floating like a ghost, always looking over his shoulder as if he expected Gabe to be there. Not only that, but he seemed relieved and at peace in a way.
“Nolan, it’s Liam,” he spoke softly. He could hear Nolan’s shaky breathing on the other side of the closet. It hitched when he heard Liam’s voice; his heart, that was beating a million miles an hour, slowed slightly. He was beginning to relax, but not enough.
“Liam?” Nolan asked, unsure.
“Yeah, it’s me,”
“Is he— is Gabe gone?” Nolan’s heart rate spiked as he spoke Gabe’s name. Nobody had said it in the past couple of months, shutting it out like it never happened. Liam had thought that would help Nolan, but clearly it didn’t; clearly it made it worse. He needed to confront it, truly know that Gabe was gone.
“He wasn’t here to begin with, Nolan. He’s dead,” Liam reassured him.
“No, you don’t understand. He was there. I saw him. He was touching me,” Nolan let out a choked sob. His voice trembled, and he sounded terrified. Gabe had fucked Nolan up badly, and if he wasn’t dead already, Liam and everyone else in this room would have made sure he was. The beta turned around to face Alec, motioning for him to come over to where Liam sat. Even if Nolan wasn’t a wolf, being close to his mate would help still, and it would definitely help Alec, who was a bundle of energy.
“Nolan, babe, it’s Alec. Can you please come out? I assure you there is and has never been anyone named Gabe in my bedroom or in the McCall home, actually.” Alec was panicking; every bone in his body was picking up Nolan’s distress. They had only been dating for three months, but his wolf had already claimed Nolan as its own. He wanted to help his boyfriend so badly that he could feel it physically like it was its own emotion in his body. The door opened slowly, and Nolan stepped out. Tears stained his face and more trickled down his cheeks. Alec, without a second thought, wrapped his arms around his boyfriend tightly.
“I’m sorry; I thought he was here. I swear he was here,” Nolan sobbed, his head in Alec’s chest. The beta just shook his head, rubbing his boyfriend’s back to help soothe him. Nolan had nothing to be sorry for, nothing at all. This wasn’t his fault; it was Gabe’s.
“He’s not here. He can’t hurt you anymore, and if he were here, I wouldn’t let him,” Alec promised. He wasn’t sure who Gabe was, but from what he understood, he had hurt Nolan badly, Alec’s Nolan, Alec’s mate. He had heard Nolan so badly that for that, Alec hoped he rotted in hell. Alec would never let anyone hurt Nolan, not now and not ever.