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Easily, his fingers trace against the bare back of the man he has taken the discreet chance to adore. His breath is even as he tries to steady the movement of his fingers – as subtle as he can possibly be. He follows the elegant edges of a red crown, travels down blacks to whites, back to blacks. He reaches the tip of the dark tail of a majestic crane – one he had only seen briefly once, right before the sleeping man’s breathing grows harsh at the announcement of his wake. His eyes open, just as bare as his body, shades on the nightstand at the corner of his point of view.
It’s dimly lit inside the room. It’s not really morning yet, probably the start of dawn.
When he tries to breathe again, an aroma makes itself more prominent. It had been there before. Actually, it had been there all this time.
“...Shishido.” He whispers to the air and he gets a reply.
“Captain…” A pause between the two tempers the atmosphere further. “How’d you know it was me?”
A deep breath, heaving below Shishido comes out, struggling.
“You’re really heavy. Extra heavy. No one’s as heavy as you.”
“Oh,” he glances at the tattoo below him again, the tip of his finger hovering over the tail of the crane. Right, he is straddled against the man, pushing his body deeper against the mattress.
“Could you… get down?” Tsuruno asks, slightly hoarse as Shishido quickly does as he is told, liberating the man of his pressure. He rolls onto the empty side of the bed and lays there, staring. When Tsuruno turns around, he meets Shishido’s constant gaze.
“What is it, Shishido?” He asks and, though he takes a deep breath, Shishido says nothing.
“Hnn… I get it. You were staring at my tattoo, huh?”
A nod comes, he is still staring, quiet. Something in the glint of his eyes, distant and small, is trying to tell him something – Tsuruno fails to see exactly what. He seems eager, as if he were waiting for something. Maybe, it was a sort of looming animal instinct.
“Shishido…” Tsuruno attempts to snap the other out of it.
“Yes, Captain?” Shishido finally speaks, Tsuruno knows to keep it up and point him to the direction he wishes, despite still having a clear vision as to that instinct that looms over him.
“Use your words. What is it? What's got you acting like this?”
Shishido swallows hard, noticeable as he attempts to keep an even expression. He waits a beat or two, and Tsuruno waits three, he knows Shishido will speak eventually, if he just lets him gather his thoughts… or muster his courage.
“I wanted to touch it more.”
“My tattoo?”
“Your skin… Your back.”
They both pause again. He wanted to touch his back more? When he thinks about it, he feels his muscles ache, his back demanding to lay as it used to be. Concentrating on his back was counterproductive, he knew this and he usually actively worked against it, but… Finally, a smile comes and Tsuruno turns over to his initial position.
“Go on, then.” Tsuruno encourages.
“Huh?” Shishido asks, eyes on the crane tattoo on the man's back, completely exposed once again. Beautiful, intricate, still vivid and vibrant, as if it had been inked all over that skin yesterday. He could still feel the traces on the tips of his fingers. That tattoo felt so authentically like Tsuruno that he could barely keep his desire to feel it from resurfacing.
“Get on top of me. Touch as much as you want. Maybe, all I need is a little pressure, after all.”
“Is it… Is it hurting, Captain?” That was silly, Shishido knew the answer to that – when does it not? Tsuruno thought himself good at hiding his pain, but Shishido knew better than to be led by appearances – especially when it came to him.
“A little…” This is a good example, somehow, Shishido knows those words are lies. But he doesn't really mind it. He has a chance to feel him again and he won't waste it.
Last time, when he had scooped him away, carried him to joy, he remembered watching over that back, while he could hear Tsuruno's low complaints under slumber. He was in constant pain… Though, he never said it. The moment he learned about this, he added it to the list of subtleties to constantly pay attention to.
Right now, as he straddles himself on the man’s back, he keeps his vision set on it, wondering if the ink is hiding the redness of the skin or how the muscles have stiffened over time. How the cold of the early morning is probably making the pain worsen, how Tsuruno is working overtime to keep this from the world and even his subordinates – such was the destiny of a savior, it seemed.
Shishido’s hands land on the top side of the man's back, spread as they apply pressure. Tsuruno groans again, this time a little louder.
“What are you…?”
“Relax, Captain. Remember what I asked of you before? I’m your right-hand man, my job is to take care of you. And that’s exactly what I’d like to do. Let me take care of you. I know your threshold.” Shishido ensures before he applies more pressure in circular motions with the lower area of the palms of his hands. The circles remain on a spot for a few seconds before traveling down.
For a while, Tsuruno can only grumble and groan, his eyes closing as he takes on the pain head-on. It was something he hadn’t done ever… For once, it is good. The pain is a sign that he'll feel better once this is done, that his ailment is being taken care of. And he thinks all of it will be over soon when he feels the other reach his lower back.
Yet, as soon as he is about to say something, he feels fingers start to apply pressure from the top and travel down. Shishido's strength against his muscles starts to feel nice. Instead of groaning and grumbling, little by little, hints of moans start to come out unconsciously. The touch feels nice against him, the pressure of feeling Shishido on top of him is delightful…
He realizes he's never let anyone take care of him like this. He has never felt comfort so strong and pleasant. He’s never felt comfort on his back at all, not ever since the pain started to creep up against him.
His body had been aching for so long, he thought that would always be his normal, a cross to bear maybe, for his shortcomings. A small price to pay, if he was ever asked about it. And yet, here is Shishido, helping him carry it.
“You don't—”
“Shhh,... Captain, please.” Shishido whispers, as if breaking the sacred sound of Tsuruno's moans was a cardinal sin. Instead, he focuses on keeping those sounds around them. He touches and circles around the knots, guided by that voice, and the way that body twitches. He spoke truth; he knows the man's threshold, when to stop and when to apply further pressure.
A long, careful exhale comes out of Tsuruno. This is bliss.
He would've fallen asleep with ease, had he not felt something soft touch the back of his neck right as his consciousness was starting to drift. It wasn't just anything… He confirmed it with that same touch that started to travel down his spine – Shishido's lips were planting kisses against him.
His eyes open as he stares at the dim space of the room. Should he say or do something? Should he let it be?
The kisses continue down, further down the spine, perfectly, touch following the edges of his back. The pressure never lets up, not even as the kissing stops. When he returns to massaging regularly, Shishido says nothing, as if none of that really happened.
“Shishido…” Tsuruno manages to say.
“Do you want more, Captain?” Shishido asks and his captain feels a shiver run down that exposed spine of his.
If it were up to him, this would last forever. And yet, he doesn't really know what to say.
“You did good, Shishido.” Is about as close as he can get to being honest without forcing the other to remain there until the end of time – or until his ache was completely erased from this world.
“You didn't answer… Are you not going to be honest with me, Captain? You can be selfish, it's just you and me here.”
“You don't think I'm usually very selfish when we're together? I'm always bossing you around.”
“That's different…” Oh, Shishido pauses. He knows it is a habit to call his superior by his title, yet, if he wants to get his point across, he has to force that habit away.
“What I mean to say is that… Tsuruno-san can be honest when he is alone with Shishido.”
“Shishido…” Yes, he understood. A small smile forms when the man closes his eyes again. “It feels good to have you there. You don't have to do anything, just stay there…”
And, though he knows there is no need for more, that his captain is being honest, he still leans over, his body on top and against the other's as he wraps his hands around him in an embrace.
“Is this any good, Tsuruno-san?” He has to swallow the need to call him captain back as he relaxes his own muscles, sinking a little further into the embrace. “Or is this too much?”
“Mm-mm,” Tsuruno denies. “This is perfect, Shishido. You're heavy, but in a good way, right now. Like a weighted blanket.”
“...Or a lion cornering its prey.” The whisper lands softly on the nearest ear. He holds on tighter, just to make sure the one he had declared a prey wouldn't squirm away. To his surprise, Tsuruno doesn't move. From his back, he can feel it – the heartbeat of that lion that cornered him, racing with a rhythm similar if not identical to his own.
It wasn't a bloodthirsty thrill, but something warmer, deeper. The more Tsuruno feels him, – that body and those beats – the more he relaxes, body and mind succumbing to slumber.
Their breathing starts to match as Shishido feels himself also relaxing against the other. He worries that he might end up making things worse if he stays on top of him. Yet, he doesn't want to part. Instead what he does is slowly start to move himself down and, subsequently, the other, so they are both laying on their sides. Not once did he let go of their embrace while moving, making sure to keep his prey right where he should be. He fixes himself so he is properly spooning the man that was now starting to fall asleep. His head is placed near the man's own, taking in the smell of his recently cleaned up hair, and the remnants of his easily identifiable cologne. It's subtle and pleasant, calling him from a distance… Or, rather, cradling him to join in on the sleeping session.
With peace surrounding them, Shishido stares toward the body he is holding. He chuckles quietly – he is the lucky one, this time. If only his captain knew of this… Of all the things he wished he’d do and all the things he left unsaid. Shishido ends up closing his eyes.
“Kosei…” the sleepy whisper of his name makes his heart skip, he leans further, holding Tsuruno tight. His heart races harder with the possibility that Tsuruno knows more than he lets on, always. For better or worse, he always seems to understand him. Does he understand Shishido’s heart? Does he know exactly what he wants?
How did he know he longed for his voice to call him by his name before he himself came to this realization?
“Yuki…” It is whispered into that dream they share and, somehow, he knows it reached Tsuruno somehow.
Easily, he fits snuggled against the man, even as the day goes by without them, even as he knows this little moment between them will eventually end.
The lion keeps his crane locked against him for as long as he possibly can.