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“So you’re telling me one of them is my boyfriend and one of them is some kind of horrible red covered in suckers monster?”
The Doctor nodded. “Yep, sorry Ed. I lost track of the Zygon in the brig and they turned into Stede …. And now I don’t know which is which,” she said apologetically, her face screwing up into a little confused scrunch.
The two Stede’s stared back at him, both tapping their feet and looking at him with some kind of pitied anger. Like they knew it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t tell them apart but also kind of angry that they didn’t recognise the real one on sight.
Normally the idea of Two Stede’s has only ever been something that has appeared in Ed’s dreams, but the reality of the situation is actually more of a nightmare.
He looked between them, literally identical, right down to the freckles on his collar bones and the stubble on his face, not a hair out of a place.
“Wait Doctor, you said they become an exact physical match?”
She confirmed yes.
“But that doesn’t mean they necessarily know where everything is right?”
She tilted her head a little. “I suppose not no.”
Ed looked back over to the two Stede’s. The one on the right suddenly seemed a little more tense.
“Okay then Stede’s. Stede has a tattoo of a heart somewhere on his body. Tell me where. And say it at the same time so you can’t cheat Fake Stede.”
“It’s on my right butt cheek.” Left Stede said confidently and with a smirk.
“My stomach…..”
Ed grinned as the left Stede got the answer correct and he stepped forward into Ed’s waiting arms. Ed planted a kiss onto his cheek. “I thought that was you babe.”
Stede rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah, we’ll talk about that later.”
They all turned back to Zygon Stede who was now looking a little sheepish.
“Well I ….” He started to say. “BYE!” He ran out of the room, his form shifting back to his usual red, his suckers making noises as he moved.
“Oh why do they always have to run?” The Doctor groaned, before following in pursuit.
Stede turned to Ed with a raised eyebrow, his arms resting around Ed’s neck. “The thought of what you wanted to do with two of me went through your head didn’t it?”
Ed smirked. “Maaaaaybe.”
Stede leant forward to plant a passionate firm kiss onto Ed’s lips. “I’ll remind you what just one of me can do later tonight.” he said quietly, pulling back a little.
“Oh?” Ed asked, with an interested tone. He was about to lean back in for more when -
“Oh for god’s sake. Where’s Lucius?” they heard the Doctor shout. “There’s two Pete’s now!”