Work Text:
It never really occurred to Josie that she might not get a soulmate. All the movies show people finding their soulmate as soon as they turn eighteen, falling into a kind of domestic bliss with an ease that makes Josie’s heart ache. She’s been watching this happen on TV for years, seen all of her siblings grow up and smirk knowingly as they turn eighteen and finally find out the name of their intended, had to watch everyone in school getting excited as they return to school after their birthdays to announce that they’ve found their soulmate.
But then it’s her birthday. She stays home and waits.
And waits.
And waits.
And…nothing.
* * * * *
Statistically, she supposes it had to happen to someone. Around 80% of people get at least one soulmark, and that number increases in every new generation.
She just didn’t think she’d be the 20%.
Ruby is sympathetic and tries to cheer her up with babbling about all the boys she’s got chasing after her, and how one of them mentioned how pretty Josie was the other day. Josie’s not really in the mood, but appreciates the thought. The rest of the week passes in a blur, and she supposes it could have been worse.
* * * * *
To everyone’s surprise, Gilbert Blythe’s birthday passes with very little drama. He and Anne are still pretending they’re nothing more than friends, and Josie can’t understand why, until she sees the small piece of cloth tied to his wrist over where his soulmark should be. She doesn’t have to see the mark itself to know it’s Anne, but why would he…
Oh.
Oh.
She tries to feel bad about the red letters on his wrist, but can’t quite manage it.
At least he has someone.
* * * * *
They have to do presentations on a current issue in English class. Josie does hers on music copyright and why artists should get payed for their work. She ignores the sniggering when she talks about Taylor Swift.
There’s a boy called Moody in her class. She’s known him since they were five, but somehow she’s never…noticed him before. He’s a little awkward, but he’s growing into himself. He doesn’t laugh at her presentation. He even smiles at her as she takes her seat. When he gets up to present, he talks about the lack of representation in the media of people with unrequited soul bonds, or with no bonds at all. She can feel her face growing hot with embarrassment, until he gets to his third argument. He talks about a couple who had no soulmarks, had met at an equal rights rally, and had now had been married (and very much in love) for nearly sixty years.
‘Those people are my grandparents,’ he concludes.
Josie allows herself to feel hope bubble up inside her for the first time in three months.
* * * * *
She starts hanging around with Moody more at school. It starts with a bigger group of Ruby, Jane, Anne, Charlie and Gilbert, but then she finds that they get on well, and before long they’re spending a lot of time in each other’s company. Uncharacteristically, the others don’t comment. She knows why, but she wishes they could just go back to like it was before, when they could joke about love and crushes and soulmates without everyone walking on eggshells around her.
A small part of her acknowledges that everyone knows she doesn’t have a soulmark—a part of her that she prefers to ignore because it’s called pride, dammit! She’s not an idiot, whatever other people say; she’s noticed the way people act differently around her now, how they try not to talk about their soulmates too much. It’s kind and pitying and horrible, and she just wishes they’d stop. It’s not like she’ll never find anyone. They just won’t be her predestined soulmate. Soulmates are a bunch of bullshit anyway, right?
Moody doesn’t make her talk about it. They mainly just study together, share links to articles on places they want to go, and laugh about that time Mr Phillips’ toupee fell off in front of the pretty young student teacher. It’s comfortable.
Josie likes it.
* * * * *
She asks Moody to prom when he’s getting out books from his locker one Thursday. He stumbles over his words and almost elbows her in the face when he tries to lean nonchalantly against his locker, and says yes almost before the words have left her mouth. She’s so relieved to not be left as the only one without a date that she forgets to try and look like she doesn’t care.
She sees Gilbert slapping Moody on the back later that day, and when she catches his eye, he gives her the thumbs up, while Moody blushes beet red beside him.
She can’t wipe the smile off her face for the rest of the day.
* * * * *
She wasn’t sure what she expected prom to be like, but overall she thinks it’s gone pretty well. No-one has thrown her pitying looks all night, and the decorations cast a dappled romantic light across the tables, and Ruby has made sure that Josie isn’t left out of the action. Moody has stuck by her for most of the evening, although he says very little, but Josie doesn’t mind. He listens to her talk, and doesn’t tell her she’s stupid for liking One Direction, or that wanting to go to Paris is clichéd. Occasionaly, he volunteers information of his own, like that he wants to learn how to paraglide, and that he used to learn dancing but got too embarrassed when he was 15 so he quit. He blushes a little as he says it, but she doesn’t point it out.
The after party is at Ruby’s house. The lounge soon becomes stuffy with everyone crammed in, so Josie escapes outside with Moody. He’s taken off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves, and even in the faint moonlight she can see the green letters spelling out John McPherson. She traces over his wrist with her thumb, then realises that’s probably a bit invasive.
‘My cousin,’ he explains, but doesn’t seem offended. ‘He’s my best friend.’
‘Oh. Cool.’ She doesn’t know what to say that won’t bring up her soulmate situation, but a small part of her thrills: he hasn’t got a romantic soulmate either!
He’s looking at her now. She lets her fingers tangle in his as she looks back up at him. He steps a little bit closer. ‘I…uhh…I really…I really like you, Josie.’ He brings his other (slightly shaky) hand up to rest on her cheek, then leans down and kisses her.
She can hear wolf-whistling from the house, but she doesn’t really pay attention. Moody is kissing her, and she’s thinking maybe she’s not alone, maybe she doesn’t need a stupid black tattoo on her wrist. Maybe she can still find love.
Maybe she’s found it already.