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The air feels heavier than used to. It has since they reunited.
Sora can’t complain, though. She'd take the heaviness over the ache of his absence any day.
The crickets are still awake, chirping away, and so is she, keeping a watchful eye on Arin’s sleeping bag like he might vanish all over again.
Ras disappeared someplace hours ago, which she's relieved about. Although, the less time she spends giving him a warning stare of “you better not let anything happen to my best friend,“ the more time she has alone with her thoughts, which... Haven’t been great as of late.
Which is stupid. She apologised to Arin. She has him back. Why does he still feel so... Distant?
Maybe because he never technically accepted her apology, just tried to apologise himself, which is so insane because he has nothing to apologise for. She’s the one who should be begging for forgiveness. She’s the one who should feel guilty, not him. Never him.
If there’s one thing she does know, it's that she can’t lose him again. From now on, no more lies or missteps or... Mistakes. Like it should've been from the very start, if she weren't such a coward.
Does she even deserve to keep him at all?
A cool breeze rushes past, stealing Sora from her thoughts, and subsequently blowing open both her and Arin’s sleeping bags.
She watches him curl up tighter, shivering, then tentatively scoots closer. She looks at him, really looks at him, taking note of the dark circles under his eyes and knots in his curls. He used to take such good care of his hair.
Letting out a sharp exhale, Sora pulls the sleeping bag up to his chin, watching his face soften slightly as his shivering lessons.
For a moment, she thinks she’s safe. She's about to shuffle over back to her own sleeping bag when—
“Ah—!” Arin yelps, eyes snapping open. Sora jumps back a little, shaking her head in surprise.
Eyes adjusting, the boy in front of her sits up, letting out a sigh of relief. “Geez, Sora... You scared me.“
She rubs the back of her neck sheepishly. “Sorry you were— there was wind and then your sleeping bag— yeah.“
“...Yeah.“
The air thickens, filled with all the things they want to say, but... Can’t.
“Sorry for waking y—“
“Are you okay?“
The question startles her. She hasn’t been asked that in a while. Not since he... Left. She blinks, staring at him for a moment. She opens her mouth. Closes it again.
Because what is she supposed to tell him? That she needs him to accept her apology or the guilt will weigh on her forever? No, that’s selfish. That she still feels like he might disappear at any moment? No, that’s worse.
That she missed him so much she could hardly breathe without him?
No, that’s too honest.
Too raw.
But his eyes are wide and pleading and warm, and she has to say something. So, she settles on;
“I'm sorry—“
“Sora, I already told you, I’m the one who should be—“
“No.“ She insists, hoping he doesn’t catch the tremble in her voice. “No, Arin. You have to let me apologise... Please?“
He hesitates, but nods.
“I never meant to hurt you, Arin. I didn’t do it because I didn’t believe in you. I did it because, well... You didn’t believe in yourself. And I didn’t know how else to help...“
He stares at her with big, glassy eyes, opening his mouth to speak when—
“Not that it makes it better. It doesn’t. I just— I’m so, so sorry, Arin. I was trying to help but I just made everything worse and I— I...“
Arin launches himself into her, pulling her impossibly close. “I forgive you, Sora. You know I never hated you, right?“
Sora freezes, then chokes out a sob. Then another. And another. “No— No, I— sometimes I thought you’d never forgive me. Like you finally realised that I wasn’t— wasn’t... Worth staying for...“
His grip on her tightens as he rubs circles into her back. “No. No way. Never. It was never your fault, I promise you.“
Sora wraps her arms completely around him, burying her face in his shoulder as they kneel atop the dirt, unable to hold back her tears. “I missed you so bad I could barely breathe.“ She admits, voice thick with emotion.
Then, a sniffle. Arin is crying now too. “I missed you too. So badly. I— I tried not think about it, but... You’re kind of a hard person not to miss.“
Sora tenses in... Surprise? Shock? The undeniable need to hold him tight and never let go. “...Really?“ She whispers.
Arin pulls back, taking her hands in his own. “’Course I did. You’re my best friend. Forever.“
He says it with such certainty that Sora almost starts crying all over again.
“I thought Frak was your best friend.“ She teases, only half joking.
Arin chuckles. “Is that jealousy I hear?“
Sora stutters, face flushing. “No— I just—“
He laughs again, squeezing her hands. “I’m kidding! But, seriously, you’re my best friend. I love Frak, but he’s not...“
He stares at her for a moment, trying to come up with something to say.
He’s not a tech genius?
He’s not the kindest person Arin has ever met?
He’s not Arin’s favourite person in the world?
He’s not home?
”...he’s not you.“ Arin finishes weakly, and, for the first time that night, Sora smiles.
They sit in silence again for a while, but the air doesn’t feel quite so heavy anymore.
Eventually, Arin yawns and starts crawling back into his sleeping bag. They lock eyes for a moment, expressions filled with the same question.
’Will you stay?’
Sora speaks first. “You seemed, uh... Cold. Before. So, if you want, I could—“
Arin huffs, smile creeping onto his face. “C’mon. There’s room for two.“ He tells her, patting the spot beside him.
In reality, there’s hardly room for two. Sora has to practically wrap herself around him to fit, but neither of them mind.
It’s warmer this way.
“Night, Arin.“ She whispers, difting off with her face pressed to his collerbone and her legs tangled with his.
“Night, Sora.“
He pasuses, then;
“I love you.“
Sora smiles so hard it almost hurts, giggling softly as she whispers “I love you too.“
The air outside is cool, but tucked inside a single sleeping bag, Arin and Sora are warmer than either of them have been in months.