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The most beautiful human
"What are you doing here, little one? Are you okay?", the Creature asked.
There was a way smaller creature huddled in a hidden corner, its tongue was hanging out of its snout and its little body was shaking. "No", it answered, "I can't find my human. At first it was fun exploring by my self, but now I'm... I'm all alone." Tears were welling in its protruding eyes.
"Don't worry. I'm the Creature of Smosh and I'm an expert at finding all sorts of people. Really, I mean all sorts of people."
"Okay", the little one sniffled, a bit more hopeful now.
"Is there anything distinct about your human?"
"Yes! Easy!", excitement and adoration twinkling suddenly in its eyes instead of tears, "My human is the most beautiful human in the whole world!"
"Oh, I think I know who you mean. Follow me", the Creature of Smosh said, so the little one did, until they reached the filming set.
And there he stood, bright spotlights were shining on him from above, his golden-brown curls perfectly arranged, and a blasé smile was gracing his countenance.
"Look, here he is. Your human is Chanse, right?", the Creature was confident.
"No, that's not my human", the little one blurted out immediately.
"What? It's not Chanse?", the Creature frowned in confusion.
"No, my human is the most beautiful human in the whole world."
"Okay... Aside from being beautiful, is there something more specific? Like... features your human has or doesn't have?"
The little one scratched its head: "I think my human doesn't have such curls."
"Well, that applies to a lot of people..."
"My human is very special though. My human has the kindest soul, and cares so much about others, and...", the little one was thinking hard, "Oh! Oh! And my human has a very distinct and powerful voice, very beautiful."
"Good job, dear." The little one wagged its tail at those words, a spark of pride swelling in its chest. "I think I know now who you mean. Follow me", the Creature of Smosh said.
As they arrived in the kitchen, they saw a very white man in interesting pants, who was cornering a short blond man and asking him repeatedly about his well-being. Noise-canceling headphones were resting around his neck beneath his tousled dyed hair, and black ink was swirling on his arm.
"Here he is. Your human must be Damien."
"No, that's not my human", the little one shook its tiny head, "My human is the most beautiful human in the whole world."
"But this one is beautiful", the Creature objected.
"But he is not my mamma!"
"Oh, your most beautiful human is a woman. Of course! Why didn't you say that right away? Now I know who you mean. Follow me", the Creature of Smosh said. And so the little one with its short legs hopped along hopefully.
Just as they arrived, a gorgeous someone stepped out of the fitting room. The red cocktail dress she had put on draped around her slim hourglass figure flawlessly, her silky black hair flowed over her gracile shoulders and her dark eyes shone like obsidians.
"Here she is", the Creature made a big gesture, "Arasha. Stunning as always."
"That's not my human", saddened the little one let its bat-like ears hang low, "My human is so much more beautiful. My human is the -"
"- most beautiful human in the whole world", the Creature concluded the sentence, "I know. But you have to help me out here a little bit more."
"My human is a bit more... more of everything. My mamma has the biiiiiggest heart."
"So someone more... curvy maybe? Someone with big mom energy... Oh, I know who that is. Follow me", the Creature of Smosh said, and the little one did its best to keep up with the pace of the Creature striding ahead toward the front door.
And there outside the building, she stood, the tallest woman both of them had ever seen. The sinking sun of Los Angeles immersed her in crimson light and made her skin glow like a goddess. She held a phone in her hand and gently tried to comfort a frantic voice on the other end.
"Here she is", the Creature made an even bigger gesture than before, "Amanda. In all her glorious grandeur."
"I- I know this one... But that's not my human either", the little one uttered in a small whisper, "My human is so much more beautiful. My human is the most beautiful human in the whole world."
"For Smosh's sake!", exasperated the Creature threw its hands in the air, "What about this one isn't like your human?"
"My human is not that tall."
"Nobody is as tall as Amanda! That doesn't help at all."
"My human is like... like an angel. When my human laughs, it's the most adorable thing I've ever heard, it makes me so so happy." Touched by the mere memory, the little one stomped its short legs in pure delight.
"Well, what about this one then?", the Creature pointed at a petite woman balancing a large sunflower and several cups of an unidentifiable beverage in her arms. Compared to her, they seemed humongous. She blushed and giggled to herself as Amanda walked by.
"If you would compress all the cuteness of this world into one human, one tiny human, it would be Heidi."
The little one sighed. "That's not my human. My human is -"
It was interrupted by a high-pitched shriek, followed by a screamed: "Spork? Oh my God, is that you?! Where the fuck are my glasses?!"
"Mamma?" The little ones eyes had widened so much, the Creature feared they would fall out. A soft noise passed by its hanging tongue, reminiscent of a coughed burp, and every shake of its small body was radiating happiness and relief.
"Did you just try to bark? You know you should work on that, if... Wait...", surprised the Creature raised an eyebrow, "That is your human?" The person in front of them was nothing like the others, nothing like the Creature had imagined. "But that's Angela..."
As fast as its stumpy legs were able to, the little one had started to run toward its shrieking human. Over its scrawny shoulder it called out: "Yes! I told you so, mia madre is the most beautiful -", the rest was muffled by a boisterous hug.
"Where have you been? Oh, my baby, I missed you so much! It's okay, don't cry, I found you now, you are safe with me..." The human had fallen to her knees, holding the little creature in her arms, gently pressed against the stained washed-out hoodie she wore. Her exhausted face was veiled by her disheveled mousy-brown hair, so the tear of joy rolled down her cheek and washed away the desperate expression unnoticed. The love and care between this tiny peculiar creature and this average-sized peculiar human, though, was palpable.
And there, reflected in the eyes of little Spork, the Creature of Smosh could finally see it too, the most beautiful human in the whole world.
~*~