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Chapter Text

The Titans tower rests in silence, the moonlight solemnly passing into windows as it weaved between crevices and nooks. The sun would rise soon enough, and of course Jolene sat waiting to watch such an occurrence.
Every morning, Miss Jolene Fancy Harper would get up before sunrise and wait by her window to watch the light dance onto the horizon, then go make herself some breakfast. But oh, how today was different.
She sighed, merely rolling over in bed to stare at her barely open curtains and watching the light slowly beam through the gaps as dread filled her entire soul. Well, his entire soul. Only hours before had he figured out why his aching and agony went straight to his core and enthralled him in misery.

"Fuck." he huffed, having slept terribly. He didn't want to get up today, or ever again. Would his friends accept this truth? He barely did. Fear did not sweep his mind more than the misery of knowing he would never feel as himself, even if they knew. Such is the life, he supposed.

Dread lay betwixt his fingers as he gripped his blanket, pulling it over himself before he heard a soft, sweet voice over his room's comm.

"Jooo~" Rang out in a sing-song tone. "I woke up before youuuu~!"

The newfound boy groaned. 'Jo' was what his best friend, Dick Grayson, always called him. Better than the full title.
He slumped out of bed, walking over to the comm in his red pajama pants and loose band tee.

"You didn't," he groggily huffed as he held the button to be heard. "I've been awake for a while now."

"Aw darn it." Disappointment rang through the buzzing speaker.

He opened the door to see Dick hunched over the comm, his hair in messy waves as usual. "Oh gosh, you look like trash, did you sleep at all, Jo?"

"No, I... I didn't." He sighed, pushing his long scarlet hair from his face. "I was thinking about... stuff."

"Stuff?"

"Stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" Dick smiled, standing at his full height. How dare he be blessed with being above 5'6".

"The kind that makes you want to crawl into a hole and rot." Harper pouted, his eyes shifting to the floor. "At least, that's how I feel."

His best friend looked curious and concerned, ushering him back within his room and shutting the door.

"Jo, what's wrong?" Grayson blinked, not giving the boy a chance to scurry off.

"I... It's complicated." He was sweating already, tugging at his hair and shifting to one side. HIs usual nervous habit.

"I'm here to listen." Dick sat on the edge of the messy bed, gazing up at his friend with such care in his eyes. He adored him, in numerous ways.

The boy sat next to him before shuddering, then beginning to cry as he squeaked out the truth, and spilling everything. No, it didn't take much, but it was enough to open the floodgates of mixed and pained emotions from newly self-titled Royland Harper. After the tears and comfort, Dick softly piped up.
"Roy, are you sure that's the name you want?"

Roy, still sniffling, huffed out. "Your name is Dick."

A very fair point, which made Grayson nod wisely and keep his mouth shut on such topic from then on.

...That event was months ago, almost two years. Roy had come out to most after that since he knew he had Dick to help him through it. Oliver even got Roy's name legally changed once he knew! Roy had cropped his hair, growled when he spoke, anything to be different from whom he was. Now, however, his hair was grown out and shaggy, he didn't care about his voice, and he knew never changed anything more than his appearance. He was sick, in his own head, and the only thing that made his aches and agony go away were the painkillers he always downed as if they were candy. Jolene had done that too, but now he knew she was only one of his many senses of agony.

This story is a romance.

This story is a tragedy.

This story is whatever it desires to be.

This story is A Ballad of Bloody Hearts.

Chapter Text

Wayne Manor, close to midnight. Roy sat alone on the balcony, staring at the rarely ever star-speckled Gotham sky.

"Yo, Roy!" Wally scurried next to him with cupcakes in hand, not a single one with icing as he had personally licked them clean. "You gonna come in or what?"

"Maybe later," He sighed. "Right now I just want... to be alone."
Alone was right, he had just swallowed more of his pain medication than he should have- and West had no reason to be near when he collapsed. At least, that's how Roy thought. The boy stood with his muscular arms folded over the railing, his freckled skin reflecting pale moonlight as his eyes never met the gaze of the other. He felt alone, even when he wasn't.

"Well, okay... but you know we really want to hang with you, right? You don't have to run off all the time-"

"Running off is your thing, Wally."

"Yeah, but you know what I mean!" He rolled his eyes. "I'm heading back in, just... don't hide forever, okay? Otherwise Dick will drag you in personally."

"Yeah, yeah I know," Roy drawled out, gripping the railing to the balcony and glancing down at the concrete below. "I'll come inside later. I promise."

That was enough to make the speedster wander back inside, stuffing a cupcake into his mouth as he did so.

Roy climbed onto the roof not too long after, letting his thick-soled combat boots lay loosely on the edge of the overhang above the door. His mind numbing as his body did so, and the stars blurring in his vision as the prescription took effect. See, Roy had been prescribed these drugs for his chronic pain- being a vigilante with non-stop aching is difficult! However, he became too reliant on the medication and now... Oh, how this poor sweet lamb fell too deep. A good kid who has suffered too much will always turn down the most hurtful path- it's the only one they'd know.

Who knows how long passed before Harper felt a shuffling near him, then a gentle thud. Someone laid next to him, which helped snap him close to sobriety as he slouched upward and looked back.
The kid had gentle large curls in his hair, was rather tall, and had a chubby face. He was a bit rounder than Dick, but it was no doubt this one was surely just as strong judging by his build.

"Uh, Hello?" Roy slurred, blinking.

"Hello- Sorry, You looked so peaceful, I hope it's okay I'm sitting with you-!" The other chirped out, his bashful expression being hidden behind a thick hardback book. "I can absolutely leave- If you want-"

"Who are you? What time is it?" The redhead cocked his head, still trying to see straight as he locked eyes with the shy boy.

"Oh-! I- I'm Richard's brother- Uhm, I'm Jason-? I'm new to this place- Oh, sorry-! What's your name?" For such a brawny kid he sure was awkward.

"Roy. Roy Harper." Roy brushed his hair out of his face, his green eyes adjusting to see the other's expression. His eyes were a jarringly somber deep blue, and he had freckles across his nose. Long, dark eyelashes batted gently as he listened to the ginger talk.

"Roy! What a nice name! Uh- It's about two in the morning, also-" His smile beamed even in the dark light, and his teeth were a little crooked, but he had a nice smile.

"Thanks, picked it myself."

"Oh! That's really cool-" He clutched his book excitedly. "I'm Jason- Well you know that I already- Uhm- I'm Jason Todd-"

"Jason. Nice to meet you, Jason. You know why I'm here?" He said, hiding the fact he was only half-sure himself.

"Oh- You're here for the party my brother is throwing, right? You must be one of the Titans! Speedy, yeah?" He was excitedly inching closer.

"Yep. I suppose you're the new Robin that Dick was talking about a few weeks ago- I barely paid attention past that though. Sorry."

"Oh it's okay!" Jason shuffled in his oversized hoodie's pocket, pulling out a candy bar as he continued. "But yes- I am Robin, well, we both are. But sometimes he's-"

"Nightwing. I know. The suit is too hideous to forget." Roy chuckled, holding his jaw in his palm as he slouched over his now crossed legs.

"Oh... Sorry-" Jason's cheeks became a rosy pink as he held his book over his flustered expression. "I didn't mean to-"

"You didn't do nothing." Roy gently smiled his way as he cut him off, enjoying his bashful presence more. "You can ramble to me, Jaybird, it's all good."

"Jaybird?"

"Yeah, think it suits you. We're friends now, yeah? So I figured I'd give you a nickname." Roy's olive eyes glimmered in the moonlight as they fixated on the nervous boy. He always made friends fast, he never gave anyone the chance to decline anyway.

"I... I like it-" Jason nodded, biting chocolate and nougat. "Thank you-"

"You seem real shy, Jaybird."

"...Yeah I'm... not very good at talking to people-" He sunk into his hoodie, hugging his book tight in one arm.

"You're talking to me." Roy smiled. "Ain't that something?"

"W-well yes! But- Well, Dick sent me to check on you, but I was just going to read my book and leave you be-"

"How were you gonna read in the dark?"

Jason reached into his pocket, chewing his candy bar as he pulled out a miniature flashlight and flickered it for a second.

"Oh." Roy raised his brow in surprise. "Should've guessed you'd be prepared, huh? Being Robin and all." He giggled softly.

"I'm always prepared for Austen."

"Austen?"

"Yeah- My favorite author! This book is one of her works- It's called Emma."

"Oh- you know, I don't think I've ever seen Dick read a book..." Roy mumbled under his breath.

"I can tell you all about it!" Jason glimmered with joy, but suddenly thunder crackled in the distance. "Oh-" He sighed, watching clouds begin to roll over Gotham. The Manor's roof always had a nice view of the city. "We should get inside-"

"Yeah, where's your room?" Roy wobbled as he stood, tone unshifting from the soft and care-free way it cradled his words.

"...Huh?"

"Your room, we're going in, right?"

"What about your friends?"

"You're my friend now too, Jaybird. Besides I... don't want to be around them right now. I love them but... they can be a little overwhelming." The redhead leaned more on one leg than the other. He didn't want to get chewed out by Grayson for his bad habits again.

"Oh! Well-!" Jason stood, his dark curls bouncing as he lifted himself up. "Uhm- it's the third window over there- then across the hall-"

Roy just walked his way on over, uncaring about how high up they were. Unlike Jason,- who had been training with his acrobatic older brother- Roy just didn't care about his own safety.

He lifted the window, entering a small and almost empty room aside from a few portraits and a dusty yet refined couch, but he just ignored them as he walked straight to the door with Jason right behind him.

"You're so... nonchalant." He nodded.

"I'm... what?" Roy's drawl twisted the sound of his words with extra confusion.

"Nonchalant- you don't care. It's... very cool-"

"...You really don't have many friends, huh?" He sounded meaner than intended, but Jason just agreed without a pout as they crossed into his room.

The sweet scent of old paper filled the air, walls were lined in bookshelves, the bed centered betwixt two nightstands and with a vintage lamp on each side. The floor was a deep, dark hardwood with a rather plush green-and-black rug hastily tossed over it, and books randomly stacked around the room. It was cozy, and truly felt like a place in a home rather than a large and near-empty manor.

"...This is nice." Roy nodded, his eyes instantly darting to the very welcoming large bed. It had clearly been made since morning, and he did not care about messing it all up with how thick the comforter looked.

"Thank you," Jason sighed, closing the door behind him. "I would hope it's nice, I work very hard to keep it clean."

"I don't keep mine clean, so that's something to be proud of!" Roy flopped backward onto the bed, it creaking under him and blankets wrinkling at his sudden presence. Jason pulled back into a slight cringe at the disorder, but quickly let it go.

"Would you like a book to read, Roy?"

"Oh uh, sorry bud, I don't read much." The ginger nuzzled further into the soft fabrics, skin still lightly buzzing with gentle intoxication. "I'm more of a video game kind-of-fella."

"Oh... I don't have many video games- but I have board games! Do you like Scrabble?"

Roy's face turned a little tart. "Uh, nah, if I do board games I play the fun versions."

"Fun versions?"

"Yeah, like- wait. How old are you?"

"I'm 15, why?"

"...You're a year younger than me. Okay, so I guess it's fine-" He shuffled onto his side with a half-smile. "I play, like, strip Monopoly."

"Strip Monopoly?"

"Yeah- I'll explain it later. You got any movies?" Roy was a little hell-spawn, as he was described by most adults, but honestly it was probably just his ADHD.

"...Do you see a television in here?" Jason folded his arms, obviously less nervous in his own space.

Roy sat up at that, pouting. "Didn't know you could be sarcastic, Jaybird."

Jason giggled a little imp-ish laugh, causing Roy's thoughts to click.

'Oh' He thought. 'This boy is a bastard, just like me.'

And he grinned, the gap in his teeth more prevalent in the light as he looked up at Jason with his eyes glistening a sickly yellowish storm green- filled with a mischevious gaze.

"You and I, Jaybird? We're gonna be best friends."

Chapter Text

That night was filled with such wonderful energy in the air. Jason rambled and ranted for hours about any book Roy had pulled off the shelf for him. At some point, Dick went to look for his friend- and having found him in his brother's room, he was not pleased. He was supposed to be the cool one.

The morning rang full with the teens scurrying around the manor's kitchen for breakfast, as Alfred had already began cooking by the time they all woke up. Roy and Jason were the last to join, both still yawning and stretching with tired faces.

"Morning, Speedy!" Kori called out when he walked in. Jason was right behind, mumbling nonsense as he sat down, rubbing his weary eyes.

"Morning, Star." Roy softly spoke in that nice, raspy drawl. "You have too much energy. Like always..." He softly teased.

"Have fun last night?" Grayson interjected, but not with malice. "Hanging with Jay, I mean."

"Huh? Oh, yeah. He was telling me about all his books he's got. Pretty neat." Roy didn't even open his eyes as he spoke, merely resting his jaw in his palm and swaying a little.

"You? Interested in books?" Wally piped up as plates were being sat in front of them. "Are you dying?"

"I'm not going to read them, just sounded neat."

"Except for the one I recommended, right?" Jason softly spoke, gorgeous jewel-like eyes open with a gentle flutter.

Everyone silently waited for Roy's response, but not for more than a few seconds.

"Of course Jaybird." Roy opened one eye to glance with a gentle smirk. "Why wouldn't I? It sounded cool."

Shock filled the air as they all stared. It wasn't surprising that Roy could take interest in literature, but the fact that he seemed more willing to bargain such changes with Jason, whom he had only met the night before.

"Dude. Do we need to get you to a hospital? Or the looney bin?" Wally blinked.

"I'm fine!" Roy barked, fully awake. "Can't I have hobbies?"

"Are you sure you're feeling well?" Garth cocked his head to the side with concern.

"Yes!" Harper's voice squeaked with a pout. His temper flared easily, just like his mentor's.

The table pulled back in response to that, as pissing Roy off is one of the few things you don't do. But Jason leaned over and patted his shoulder, and all the tension on the redhead seemed to leave. How in the world did this kid figure out their rage-ridden buddy so quickly? Not even Dick is able to do that.
And oh, how Dick was jealous. Why didn't he have that skill? Does Jason know all of Roy's secrets so soon? His aches? His hopes? How dare he be so close to him so quickly. It wasn't fair. It took him years to get as close as he was, and his little brother managed to be closer after a few measly hours? Talking about things Roy usually didn't care about like books and old movies and whatever the heck else?!
Grayson's disdain for the situation was VERY noticeable, as his scowl put the other end of the table into a frustratingly dark and prissy vibe.

The rest of the morning went fine though. Breakfast was good, Alfred was thanked, and the kids all set on returning home or to the TItans' tower. Roy, however, while waiting for Oliver to retrieve him, was chatting with Garth as Dick watched from the steps. He huffed at the book in Roy's hand, glaring at the cover and trying to figure it out. It seemed his brother took notice, as Jason sat next to him with a look of concern.

"Dick? Are you okay?"

Grayson huffed, glancing over with a pouty expression. "I'm fine, Jay. Go inside or something."

"You seem upset."

"I just said I was literally fine."

"...But you're clearly not." God this kid could be so annoying. That's the job of a sibling I guess.

"...How did you do it, Jay."

"Do what?"

"You understand him. You calmed him immediately. You got along with him- you barely know him!"

"Oh, Roy? He's nice. Just needed to talk for a while, I think. He likes horror movies." How could he speak so nonchalantly. Just needed to talk? Why couldn't he talk to Dick about whatever it was?!

"I know he likes horror movies. It took me ages to learn that about him because he just... never told me."

"Did you ever ask?"

Dick went silent, baffled at the suggestion. "I- I didn't want to push."

The conversation ended rather quickly, both boys just sat silently as their friends left. The manor now silent inside and out. Dick merely got up and quietly went inside, still frustrated. Jason shrugged and remained sat upon the steps, watching the cloudy sky with a faint smile.

'What a nice shade of green' He thought. It was that pretty and rather sickly yellow-green, the one that Roy's eyes beamed in the bright warm light of his room just the night before. Jason liked that color. He liked how kind Roy seemed. He liked the bright flame-y color of his hair, and the freckles spattered across his skin. He liked the way he spoke- that sultry, raspy drawl with a gentle breath on every word. Roy was just likeable.

Jason liked Roy.

Chapter Text

The plane ride- and car ride- home was quiet, Oliver attempted small talk but Roy just stayed silent, reading the novel that Jason had given him once he knew his friends would not know or see him doing such. It was, however, a little difficult to read as the sun began to set. The light of dusk was beautiful, but Roy was pretty sure he had an astigmatism. He would never admit to needing glasses though.

Roy didn't even speak to Oliver once they had gotten home, rather bolting up the stairs with book still in hand as he quickly shut himself within the confines of his bedroom. This was his typical behavior, but it was rare to see Roy actually seeming motivated to spend his time doing things other than blaring metal music from his room or trying to slide down the carpeted stairs on a make-shift cardstock surfboard.

Of course, he came down for dinner with book still in hand, prompting his adoptive father to raise a brow at him, finally gaining the redheaded boy's attention with a firm tone.

"Picking up new hobbies, son?"

"Hm? Oh, yes sir, Bruce's boy recommended it. It's a horror book, you see, and it's actually interesting." Roy always spoke more formally and theatrically with Oliver. He didn't know why, that's just how they spoke with each other. Maybe it was from a sense of respect.

"Which one of Bruce's?" Oliver nodded, blinking with intrigue.

"Jason. Me and him seem to get along real swell."

"How swell? The way you are with your teammates?"

"Maybe even a bit better, sir. I'm fond of him I think. He's polite."

"Fond?" The man spoke somehow more firmly, pressing at that word choice.

"Fond as in friends, old man." Roy teased. "I only knew him one night, I can't be in love with someone I don't know, now can I?"

"I suppose not." Oliver leaned in his chair, almost relieved. He was protective of the boy, as they both saw themselves as father and son, but neither would say it. They both had too much pride- and in the work they do, they also had too much shame. Tempers rise much more easily out on the field, it always seemed.

Roy returned to his pages, eating slow as usual with no mind given to the other sitting across the table. His eyes darting rather quickly as he turned paper within only a few minutes, as if this were typical behavior for him. As if he had been reading 20 books a day for his entire life. He was eating it up. Consuming the words more than the hot meal on his plate.

Oliver piped up again while watching the boy. "Now, son, I didn't think you'd be so fascinated by it- that book, I mean- what's it called?"

Roy glanced up, holding up the novel for a few seconds before returning to his previous position. 'Blood Meridian' was plastered on the grim-looking cover- which prompted Oliver to nod with an empty gaze, Roy did say it was a horror novel, which wasn't surprising.

"I take it that it's one of those real messed up scary stories?"

"Yes sir, it sure is, and it's about cowboys too."

"Sounds right up your alley I suppose. Bruce's boy suggested it? Isn't the younger one rather tame? You said he was polite." He always tried to learn about Roy's social life. He wanted to know how to help, or who to look out for. After all, Oliver understood the boy, down to the temper they shared.

"He sure is, sir. Real sweet-like. He likes old stuff. Vintage movies and classic novels and vinyl records. He recommended it after I told him I'm a fan of scary movies. He seemed so sure of it, the way he spoke was certain. He talks like a church boy that ain't ever seen a pew or stained glass."

"You mean hasn't, not ain't."

"Oh yes sir. Apologies."

Oliver took in the conversation, chewing his tongue for a second before letting the room return to silence, watching as Roy got up without finishing his plate, returning to his room without another word.
Sadly, that was not unusual. Roy always seemed to hide away, even at his best. He couldn't blame the boy, as he knew he suffered many hardships and felt rather sympathetic toward him due to this. He was always concerned for him, knowing what his virtues and vices were, but Oliver knew he couldn't make Roy's decisions for him. He merely got up, pulling their plates from the table and setting Roy's in the fridge; his own going to the sink.

Roy closed and locked his door, laying a loose piece of paper betwixt the soft pages and tossing the novel to his nightstand. He gazed up at walls covered in posters and dark paint spatters and beshelved trinkets as he reached into the back corner of his mattress, feeling for the bottle of prescribed painkillers he kept stashed away. See, it was no secret that Roy behaved in such a way, harming himself at every chance. It was a horrible habit. Oliver knew, his teammates knew, the whole League probably knew too. He didn't care. He was self-destructive. He was, in his own eyes, vile. Wrong. Broken. A living wound made of twisted, haunting memories that could never heal. He downed a small handful, put the bottle in its place, and leaned his back against his wall as he slid to the floor. He was tired- as always-, he was hurting. He wanted to not hurt anymore.

But as time marched forward, he began to fill his mind with the events of the night prior. That somber yet welcoming evening with his new friend... He didn't ache as much in his presence. He felt genuinely happy for the first time in quite a while.

Jason was polite, and kind, and oh how he smiled. It was genuine, not forced. He had no pity in his eyes upon seeing Roy. He acted as if Roy were normal and worth the time he had spent with him, as if every second of conversation was just so utterly valuable to him. Jason was mild-mannered, gentle, and just absolutely delightful. He spoke so eloquently and softly, it sounded like summer rain. Roy liked the rain, now he had another reason to. Jason was such a calming presence. He was likeable.

Roy liked Jason.

Chapter Text

Two months had passed, and the Titans we're settled in their tower once again. It was an off-and-on scenario, but typically they could retreat there whenever they pleased. Roy did so quite a lot, when he wanted to be alone.

Dick sat patiently in the living room, watching as Roy paced around with headphones on. It was something he did rather often. Not speaking or interacting with anyone, just existing in the shared space. They had all gotten used to this behavior, and sometimes the others would mimic it.
But not right now.
In fact, Dick merely kept his eyes on Roy as he fiddled with the tower's primary controls. He was doing something important at first, but now he only kept his eyes on the ginger boy, trying to assess him. Why did he like Jason more? He was his friend first.

Wally barged in with stacks of pizza boxes in his arms with Garth in tow, carrying his own food. Atlantians didn't typically do things like pizza or cereal or burgers or ice cream. Picky, picky, picky.

"Boys!" Wally barked loudly, mainly to catch Roy's attention. "I got lunch!"

"Awesome. Except it's past 6 P.M." Dick remarked rather emptily. Not unusual when he was focused. The others understood he was being playful despite his tone.

Roy pulled off his headphones, grabbing a few boxes from the stack and sitting on the floor quietly.

"Silent day?" Wally cocked his head, setting the rest down and sitting next to him. There is a kitchen; but teenage boys are a mess, no? Then again, Kori usually joined in on this behavior, so whose to say.

Anyway, Roy just nodded his head in response, gazing at his phone as he took a shallow bite at his food. 'A slow eater' is how he described himself, but in all honesty it's because he despised eating at all. He typically killed his appetite with coffee and liquor and cigarettes anyways.

"What'chya looking at?" The curious speedster leaned over, to which Roy immediately leaned back and away from his gaze, glaring up at him with that pouty lip he seemed to master.

"Fuck off." Harper huffed. "You can look at your own phone-"

"Aw c'mon!" Wally whined playfully. "I just wanna know!"

"Just junk. Scrolling on random blogs." Roy snarked. "You can't do that on your own?" He was always a little mean to his friends, but he was also always mean to himself, so it's just his personality, really.
It was also a lie. He was messaging Jason.
What? You think he wouldn't be spending his time talking to his new best friend?

"I COULD," Wally huffed. "but I'm curious about what you're looking at!"

"Too bad, so sad. Suck it up." Roy teased, twirling a bit of his copper hair with a smirk. "You can deal with it."

"Can you two behave?" Dick rolled his eyes, joining the others on the floor. "It's like watching cats bap at each other with how you two talk."

Wally and Roy both gasped dramatically.

"You hear that Wallster? He wants to break our ginger bond!"

"Oh I heard it alright! He just doesn't understand us!"

This was a running joke the two had- considering they we're both Dick's best friends- where they would tease him for not being redheaded like they were. It always got him a bit flustered, as they knew he had an attraction to such a trait. I mean, he had dated Wally in the past off-and-on, and now he was dating Kori. He clearly had a type- energetic gingers.

"You guys are mean to me-" Dick grouched with a mouthful. "So so so mean."

"You're just a drama queen." Roy chuckled as he went back to his phone, typing each response quickly. He had energy for Jason, always. Even at his most exhausted.

The boys returned to just conversing as usual while Roy stayed silent, eyes remaining glued to his screen. He left dinner early, having only had two slices before hiding away in his room. This was his usual pattern, as you've seen.

His eyes locked with Jason's most recent message. "Do you want to hang out tomorrow?" What a stupid question. Of course Roy wanted to. But he was too nervous to send the already typed "Yes."
...Why was he nervous?
He ignored the ache in his stomach as he sent it anyway, turning off his screen and sitting in the dark. His curtains we're drawn, his lights off, his mind wandering.
He forgets, sometimes, that he's a person. With feelings. And urges.
He felt his face fluster as another chime came from his phone, Jason had sent a cute little smiley face alongside "How about we get lunch somewhere nice and visit the library?" Roy of course agreed immediately. He normally would prefer cheap burgers and avoiding public spaces, but he couldn't help but agree to everything Jason suggested.
Roy went to turn off his screen again, but hesitated as he let his mind wander further. He and Jason had gotten much closer over the last two months, and he couldn't help but imagine the curve of his friend's lips as he stared at the device in his hand, tracing the picture he had saved to Jason's contact as he held his tongue against the back of his teeth.

Fuck.

The green-eyed mess didn't even realize he had slipped his hand beneath the waistband of his boxers, rolling to his side as he opened an incognito tab on his phone. What a disaster, he was, melting into his blankets with soft whimpers and a low volume on his device.
He didn't even think of what he was staring at, his head only thought of his best friend. The way his deep blue eyes glimmered, the way his skin was always so soft, the way he spoke and carried himself, oh god, the way his messy hair curled his bangs into a heart, fuck.

He needed him, it felt like. This was not the first time Roy had shown this behavior. He couldn't help it. However, it was the first time it plagued him like this. Typically, in his attraction, he would think of much more provocative and lustful things, but for some unholy, cursed, awful reason, he wanted to hear Jason's voice. He wanted to be held in his arms. He wanted to hold his hand, and call him pretty. He was pretty. Jason was so, so very pretty.

"...J...Jason..." Sang out gently from beneath muffled sheets, and it hit him as he couldn't stop himself hearing his own voice say that name. It felt too good, uttering it out like that. He did it again, whimpering it softer as he imagined a touch other than his own between his thighs. He wanted him. In so many ways. In every way. He didn't dare think of it as love, he couldn't force himself to have that idea, especially not in his current position.

His mind filled with repetitive thoughts, somehow each more arousing than the last despite being so simple and soft. It didn't take long until he finally thought about Jason in-suit, the way the Robin costume made his muscles look just right, the way it was so tight on him, and oh how the colors looked so good on his skin. The way he helped others with such kindness while looking so good. That's what did it for him, and he bit into his pillow with a warm face and messy hair. The static from his blankets made him more of a wreck than he appeared before.

He sheepishly emerged, closing the tab he barely paid any attention to, and tossed his phone onto his nightstand, staring at the ceiling as he caught his breath.

'Oh no.' He thought, as he began to drift to sleep. Terrible etiquette, Royland. It may be your room but you should still clean up.

The next morning, he had woken up first, as usual. He slumped into the kitchen in his sleep pants and loose band tee- that he had mindlessly tossed on-, and stared at the cereal options within the pantry with a rather empty gaze.

"Morning," Wally groaned, wandering in with an exhausted look. "Mind pouring me a bowl of fruity-rings...?"

"You are a fruity ring." Roy grunted without thought. They sure love to tease each other.

"You're a fruity ring!" Wally sat down, blinking slowly with a grouchy face. "You're the fruitiest."

"Nah. You are." Harper quipped as he poured his buddy a bowl of cereal. This was a daily occurrence, but it was how they showed love to one another.

Dick wandered in, reaching past the pale boy for his own box of whatever sugar-y hell he decided he'd have that day.

"Morning." Both ginger's nodded, Roy sat down as he handed Wally his breakfast. It was as if he forgot to get his own, but he didn't. You know he didn't.

"Morning-" Grayson sighed. He had gotten into a habit of sleeping in a little more recently, but it's not a bad thing. He was typically up all night anyways. He sat down with his own bowl, head slumped into his hand as he barely paid attention.

"Are we going to train today?" Wally yawned out.

"I hope not," Roy sighed. "I've got plans."

"You made plans? With who?" Dick glanced over, trying to read him. So jealous, and he isn't even into him.

"A friend."

"You have other friends?" Wally smiled with a cocky expression before Roy kicked him beneath the table.

"I have plenty of friends, speed boy. People love my charm." Roy huffed.

"Charm? Is that what they're calling it?" West chuckled, ignoring his now bruising leg.

"Oh shut up-" Roy grumbled in that raspy drawl. "At least I have plans, you probably ain't doing nothing today!"

Dick merely listened to this exchange, eyes still closed with sleepiness. He forced himself to think it wasn't Jason that Roy was going to see, but in the back of his mind he knew. He was jealous of his brother. He was the new Robin, he was the prince of Gotham, he was even cooler to one of his best friends. Why was he so much more appealing? Could you even be friend-jealous? He was certainly more focused on the friend-stealing part. He didn't want Jason to take Roy from him. That was his archer. Jason should get his own!

But if he stayed in denial, he could ignore it. So he did. He ignored it so hard. To the best of his ability.

Roy left around noon, dressing in his typical ripped jeans, t-shirt, and baseball cap before heading out.

The other Titans paid no mind, but Dick immediately scurried off to the monitor room. Paranoid as his father, he began to obsessively watch every camera he had access to from the tower, keeping tabs on his friend as he left.

He lost track of him just as it seemed he was meeting up with whomever it was, and he pathetically wandered back to the other two boys in the living room. Kori was on a personal mission in space, so he didn't even have her to rant to as he typically did.

"You okay, Dick? You ran off, are you sick?" Garth gently spoke as he sipped a glass of water.

"Only in the head, I think." Grayson sighed, sitting down. "But honestly, who isn't?"

The other two boys glanced at each other before nodding. I mean, have you seen the way they live?

"Well, it's good if you're not vomiting, I suppose." Garth gazed out the large window, watching the animals that wandered around the tower's grounds.

"Dude," Wally sighed. "I have got to teach you normal stuff. Roy isn't here to bully you into being normal, so it's my job."

"Because your ginger bond?" Garth chimed sweetly in his soft voice.

Dick groaned, sighing into his hands as he furrowed his brow. "It's like you guys want me to act like a mother-"

"Oh dude- You do that on your own!" Wally teased with a bright smile. "I mean, you watch over us anyway."

"Trust me, Wall." Dick glanced up between his fingertips. "I know."

Chapter Text

The day was fair and calm, Jason met up with his acquaintance just outside a small cafe- it had a pale pink awning above the door and a gold trim around the bay window that jutted out only a little bit.

"Roy!" He cheerfully ran up to him and immediately squeezed him in a hug. Roy never liked being cuddly with anyone else, but this was his exception. Jason was always his exception.

Jason had grown much taller over the months prior, looking more mature, but still having a gentle roundness in his face that made him only appear more sweetly delicate with every smile he beamed.

"Hey Jaybird," Roy shined crooked teeth his way as both boys began to walk inside. "Sorry if I'm under-dressed-"

Jason was in a rather nice sweater with a button-up beneath it, dark brown slacks, and had his curls slicked back away from his face. That was a habit he had gotten into recently, but it wasn't often. Roy told him he liked it better when the curls were wild and loose, so typically Jason obliged, but he wanted to look rather nice today for some reason. Despite his rather dapper outfit, he still wore his favorite beat-up red sneakers.

"Oh no, you aren't, I promise!" Jason's voice had dropped much more too, but little squeaks came out once in a while. "I just- felt I'd like to dress nice. We don't get to hang out often," He sighed.

"Fair enough, I just feel my jeans ain't enough next to you, but I guess it won't matter when we both end up spilling coffee, hm?" Roy teased with a smirk, elbowing Jason as they went to sit down near the window. Jason giggled in return, pressing the back of a finger to his smile rather shyly.

They talked on and on about whatever they felt like for quite some time, but for them it felt like minutes. They hadn't even realized the sun had begun to set until they had left the cafe- they skipped the library entirely; rather, they chose to walk the city streets. Jason and Roy both eventually perched on the edge of a highway bridge, chatting away as the night sky faded in over the horizon.

"Ain't you got patrol later?" Roy inquired, his hair reflecting he gorgeous deep color of the sunset.

"Well, I actually got benched for a week..." Jason sighed. "Got too rough with one of Penguin's henchman apparently, he's still in the hospital."

"What?! Jaybird- When did you get aggressive??"

Jason flustered a deep red, his hands covering his warm face in shame. "It was an accident!"

"Hey I'm not judging!" Roy chuckled. "I rough 'em up too, you know!"

"But Robin doesn't!" The curly-headed boy chirped, his dismay on display. "And now I'm grounded because of it."

"Oh pssh- please. Like the Bat can actually stop you. You're practically the same size."

Jason went quiet, turning toward Roy with a baffled expression. He hadn't realized he was that tall, I mean, Bruce still called him 'little'. But now that he thought about it, he even towered over his older brother by a good few inches.

"Besides," Roy continued. "You should be allowed to tussle hard once in a while. You can't be sweet and gentle all the time."

"Well,-" He paused. "...Sweet? You think I'm sweet?"

Roy turned red as well now, choking on some spit and trying to reel it back. "Well-! I mean like-! You's got a nice personality-! But- but like in a cute way-! A normal cute way-! Not like-! Oh- You know-!" Good job, cowboy.

Jason giggled, clearly more at ease with the conversation despite Roy's erratic slurry of words. He pat his friend on the back and shuffled closer to him.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, Roy." He sighed softly, resting against the other. "You think I'm charming." Jason was merely teasing, seemingly unaware of how truthful it was.

"...You know?" Roy softly spoke, his voice higher in pitch at Jay's affection.

"Know what?" Jason glanced up at him, smiling that sugary-sweet smile.

Roy couldn't help but turn awkwardly away, becoming a bright red mess as he squeaked out a rather rough "Nothing! Never mind!" while Jason readjusted to sitting up again.

"Roy, is something bothering you?" He spoke so softly, his worry shining through that syrup-y voice.

"I'M FINE!" the redhead snapped, standing up and starting to walk down the side of the road again, his pace rather fast despite his visibly shaking legs.

"Roy-!" Jason squawked out, following in pursuit and quickly catching up. "Tell me what's wrong!"

"It ain't nothin', Jaybird! Go home!"

"It's something!" Jason grabbed Roy's shoulder, both of them stopping in the rather dim dusk light. "Talk to me, I promise I'll listen- Is- Did I do something wrong?"

Roy pulled back, almost offended at the idea. "No! No. I just- It's complicated-"

"I promise I'll do my best to help you-" Goddamn heroes. Fuck.

"Jaybird, it's fine- really, go home."

"I won't until you're okay."

"I'm fine!" He was a mess, and the dark light couldn't even hide it.

"Roy." Jason stepped closer, much to Roy's dismay. "Please. I want to help you."

They both went silent, moonrise upon the horizon as Roy gently spoke, as if his words could break like glass if said much too loudly.

"...I... I don't want to lose you."

"You won't!"

"...What if I do..?"

"I promise, you won't." Jason nodded wisely at his own assurance.

Roy sighed out, now speaking even softer. "...I think... I'm in love with you..." The words he uttered forced his eyes closed as he tensed, his face burning with warmth like a fire in a hearth.

"...Oh." Jason puffed out under his breath. "Oh......" He repeated with much more tanginess in his tone, which made Roy concerned with the reaction.

Then he felt a gentle hand on his waist, pulling him closer. He fluttered his eyes open to see Jason's warm smile, so close and so bright, twisting into a gentle kiss being placed on his forehead.

"...Jaybird..? You,-"

"I was worried it was something serious-!" Jason giggled, instinctively attempting to guide Roy through the situation, despite being rather new to it himself. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"You-"

"Let's head back to the Titan's tower, okay? You seem tired."

"Jay-"

"Yes, Roy, I love you too. A lot, actually." He was keeping himself as calm as he could despite his excitement. "Now quit sputtering, we can talk about it when we get there." Jason scooped him up in his arms, carrying the absolutely stunned archer with grace and ease, like he was nothing but paper in his arms- lightweight and fragile.

Roy, despite Jason's request, kept mumbling in baffled and bamboozled confusion, sputtering and spewing random words in between mumbling to himself.

He felt more lovesick than ever before.

Chapter Text

They returned to the Tower, now engulfed in darkness as the others had huddled off to their rooms. Roy was still utterly speechless as Jason carried him the entire trip there, and continued to carry Roy to his room as well, not even setting him down to open the door.

"Here we are!" Jason chimed rather sweetly as he sat Roy on his bed, shutting and locking the door before returning to him. He grabbed a pillow, sat on the floor, and squealed into it for about 15 seconds; clearly letting the feelings out that he held back the entire walk.

Roy was still blinking silently as he sat up, staring at Jason with an almost lost expression.

"You. Y..You-" Squeaked up from his throat. "I... You don't. You... Like me?" He had so much room for thoughts in that head of his, but it was so empty.

Jason piped up, taking a deep breath and setting the pillow on the floor. "Of course I do!" He cheerily responded, as if he we're shoving anxiety down. "How could I not?"

"J... Jaybird. I'm. You know what I'm like! You know why not!" Roy flustered, throwing a pillow at Jason.

Jason let the soft, plush pillow hit his chest as he got up to join Roy on the bed, sitting next to him as somber moonlight filled the room. They didn't turn the lights on.

"Well," Jason nodded with a sigh, "I know you don't like yourself. I know you're insecure and you feel ashamed at your vices... But I like everything about you, down to your core. I like you, and I'm happy you like me too- I..." Jason sighed again, clearly trying to find words. "I've liked you since I've met you, Roy. You were kind and understanding and... well, you thought I was fascinating. I think you're fascinating."

Roy stared at him, the lighting hitting him just like when they met, and those eyes gazing back at him were hauntingly beautiful.

"I... I'm sorry Jay-" Roy began to fidget his fingers over another in a fumbling circle. "I- I can't see what you see in me- but," He paused and caught the almost slim halo of light around Jason's hair, his cropped curls looking too holy for such a sweet boy.
"...but..."
Roy just stared, not knowing where his tongue would weave the sentence, just watching all the details in Jason's face glimmer in the dim light.
"...but I.. want to be with you," He softly uttered. "I... I crave you like fire craves air, like- like how the tides crave the moon-" He leaned in closer, just staring deeply at the other's lips. "I crave you like I'm starving, and you're a five-course meal..."

Jason's face was bright red with each new word from Roy's mouth, and he couldn't help himself; Their lips were soon intertwined rather passionately. Jason's fingers crept into Roy's shaggy red hair, gripping gently with desperation as he clutched him tighter.

The boys embraced for so long they left each other gasping, teeth and tongues coated in each other's spit and emotion. Their grips so tightly clutched upon each other that they left bruises and claw-marks that would surely not leave for days, and deep red and purple marks traced down their necks and shoulders. Well... mainly Jason's. Roy couldn't help himself but to indulge once he could. He adored his newfound lover, he couldn't hold back when he tried with others, and he couldn't hold back now.

Harper had always been passionate, whether he showed it or not. He stared deeply into Jason's eyes with intense and almost pained devotion, but who couldn't?

No one has eyes like Jason Todd.