Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Leonard had seen a lot of medical centres in his long (un)life but he had to admit, this one was the most impressive. Maybe it was because he hadn’t been aboard a star ship before, and so hadn’t had a chance to check out one of their med-bays, but he felt that even if he saw every ship in the Federation fleet, none would compare. The USS Enterprise was just better. Which was why he had chosen it as his new haunting ground. Plus, the captain was kind of cute. And he wouldn’t kick the First Officer out of bed either. But it was mainly because he was bored of Earth and the Enterprise looked fascinating – from a medical perspective, of course.

After 244 years, Earth’s hospitals had begun to grate on him. It was interesting at first to see how they changed as the planet evolved and reached out to space, but now everything was settled and all the hospitals ran pretty much identically. There was nothing new to intrigue him. The San Francisco Star Fleet Academy Hospital had been his home for the last 30 years because it was the most exciting place for a doctor he could find. The cadets were always getting into all sorts of trouble and the hospital saw plenty of wounded returning from a trip through the black. He liked it there, but it just wasn’t enough anymore. He wanted something new, something exciting, something…dangerous. Just because Leonard McCoy was a dead man, didn’t mean he couldn’t play Russian Roulette. Anything could happen if he went into space; he wasn’t even sure if it was possible for him to leave the planet that his body had died and decayed on. He could get stuck on some random alien planet, some random aliens may suddenly be able to see him, he could pass on or even come back to life. He rather doubted the last one but stranger things had happened. He was a ghost after all.

So it was time to leave Earth. And the Enterprise was perfect for the job. It had a wonderful med-bay, a seemingly competent CMO by the name of M’Benga, a reckless yet endearing captain, and a logically cautious Vulcan. It seemed to Leonard that anything could go wrong.

*********

Leonard found it extremely easy to settle into the Enterprise. Once he had thoroughly explored the med-bay, and laughed at the medical team’s confusion over finding their filing system completely redone, he decided that it was probably best to get to know the crew. He felt it was only polite to know the people that he would be sharing space with for an indefinite amount of time. He didn’t feel the need to follow M’Benga yet, wanting to get to know his medical skills before knowing the man, so he went after the close-knit Alpha crew members.

First, there was Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott, though everyone appeared to call him Scotty. Leonard could tell that if he had been alive they would have gotten along brilliantly. The aptly named Scotsman loved to drink and complain, while all the while having a strong work ethic. If he couldn’t fix the ship, no one could. Leonard was highly amused by his hidden distillery as well, and wished he could have tasted some of the, apparently very strong, alcohol. He wasn’t sure what to make of the little creature that followed the man around everywhere, but “Keenser, get down!” seemed nice enough. It was also quite clear to Leonard that the engineer was rather enamoured with the communications officer.

The next man he met was actually a boy. Ensign Pavel Chekov was a barely legal, Russian whizz kid, and Leonard instantly decided to keep a watchful eye on him. The kid was far too sweet and innocent to be allowed to get hurt, no matter how great he was at physics or knew the navigational systems. The kid had a mischievous streak though, eagerly joining in with the captain’s pranks, except when they were on the First Officer, whom he had a terrific amount of respect for.

It was through Chekov that Leonard got to know the Enterprise’s helmsman, Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu. Sulu and Chekov spent every minute together, clearly crushing on each other (well it was clear to Leonard who had centuries of experience people watching. It was also clear that this ship had relationship issues in every corner but he was a bit busy to work on that right now.) but they still worked well together, both knowing how their duties intertwined. Sulu was also a highly skilled swordsman and botanist. The first just made Leonard wary, though he did enjoy standing in front of the man as he trained and trying to dodge all of his strikes, but the second was quite interesting. It was rather relaxing to just sit and watch Sulu tend to his plants, murmuring softly to them in encouragement to grow.

Lieutenant Nyota Uhura, the Communications Officer and recipient of Scotty’s affections, was both beautiful and scary. She knew her duty and was extremely talented, but she took none of her captain’s bullshit, easily calling him up on it when needed. She respected him, Leonard could see that, but she expected him to act more like a grown up, and Leonard understood that but also didn’t see it happening. She was a nice lady though, and he felt that they could have been good friends. The only thing about her that he wasn’t sure about was her relationship with the First Officer.

Commander Spock was everything one looked for in a First Officer. He was smart, strong, logical, and commanded the crew well, while taking care of his captain. Leonard had seen a few Vulcans in his time, had even been at the first meeting between his race and theirs, and he saw the traits they valued above all else in Spock. He was calm and rational, always thinking through every single step. But there was more to him than that. One had to look closely, but Leonard was in a prime position to do so. The half Vulcan was warm, despite the frosty exterior he displayed to all but his captain and, but only occasionally, his girlfriend. (And that was why he couldn’t really accept their relationship. It just seemed doomed to him if Spock couldn’t open himself up completely to her.) Spock was someone that Leonard was very interested in getting to know better, and it didn’t hurt that he was very easy on the eyes. There was only really one person that outshone him.

Captain James Tiberius Kirk was going to be a man that made history. He already had with his rescue of Earth from the Romulan attack, but he and his crew were going out into space for 5 years; they were bound to run into plenty of history-making trouble. He was young and reckless but Leonard could see that he had a good head on his shoulders – it just needed watching, and that was what he had Spock for. Jim cared for all of his crew and would do whatever he could to help every single one of them. He was a good captain, and Leonard could only see him getting better with time.

Leonard was looking forward to setting off. He yearned for some adventure and he was sure that the Enterprise was the perfect place to get it. The crew were intriguing as well and he couldn’t help but grin over all the fun he would have messing with them. His time on Earth was over – for the second time. It was time this ghost went were no ghost had been before. (Well, he assumed. He hadn’t actually ever met another ghost.)

Chapter Text

Leonard was bored. He had been aboard the Enterprise for a week now and the worst injury had been a small burn on an engineer’s hand. It wasn’t like he was wishing for trouble; he just wanted something more exciting. Perhaps involving surgery?

Leonard hit himself with the PADD he had stolen from Spock while he had been distracted by Jim. He liked Jim and his crew; he shouldn’t be courting disaster just because he was bored. He’d spent decades being bored. One week was nothing. He could wait for them to find excitement that didn’t involve someone getting severely injured.

“Chapel! Prepare for surgery!”

Or not.

He watched as M’Benga came running into med-bay with several nurses, all of them surrounding a gurney. Spock trailed behind them, and it was clear to Leonard who was on it heading into surgery from the distress on the Vulcan’s face. He stepped closer to get a better look. Jim was lying motionless on the gurney. It was unnerving to see him so still; Leonard didn’t think he had ever seen the captain frozen like this. He stayed right by the captain’s side as he was run into the ICU for immediate operation, taking note of the man’s injuries.

Bleeding from multiple lacerations…cracked ribs…fractured, possibly broken, femur…bruising around the pelvis…unconsciousness from blood loss or head trauma?

Leonard was playing out treatment scenarios in his head so he didn’t catch all of M’Benga’s instructions but one pricked his attention. It was a perfectly acceptable treatment that the man was suggesting, and Jim should be completely stable by that time, but Leonard wasn’t happy about it. If any complications occurred during the surgery, small ones that would be unnoticeable until afterwards, they would affect the final treatment stage and M’Benga’s suggestion could risk Jim’s life. Leonard knew that the man was an extremely skilled doctor but there was a much safer solution. So while M’Benga worked on fixing the worst of Jim’s injuries, Leonard paid only minimal attention, instead focusing on making sure that the last part of the surgery would be done his way.

Just as expected, as soon as M’Benga was ready to begin the final part of the surgery he paused.

“Chapel, I thought I asked for the osteogenic stimulator?”

“You did Doctor. I brought it through.”

“Then where is it? I can’t complete this without it.”

Leonard watched as the doctor and nurses who had been assisting began looking around the room for the piece of equipment. He smiled and nudged it slightly further behind one of the other bio-beds in the room. He had made sure that everything M’Benga would need instead was in easy reach, and he was positive that the man wouldn’t take long to figure out what he needed to do.

In came as no surprise when the CMO picked up the bone-knitting laser and finished off fixing up the captain. When Jim was finally resting peacefully on a bio-bed, Leonard settled on the edge of it to watch the conversation between M’Benga and Spock, who had not left the med-bay for a second, watching the whole surgery through the glass.

“There’s no need to worry Commander, it all went well. I have no doubt that the captain will be running around again in no time.”

“Thank you Doctor,” Spock said, his voice not quite monotonous revealing how effected he was by the situation. It made Leonard smile to see the Vulcan so clearly relieved by his captain’s recovery.

“We had to change the surgery slightly towards the end but I don’t believe that will cause any complications,” M’Benga explained.

“Why would you change the surgery while working? Was there a problem?”

M’Benga grimaced slightly before answering and Leonard felt a small ping of guilt for causing the expression but it was quickly shoved aside. His treatment plan had been much safer.

“We somehow managed to misplace a piece of equipment – the osteogenic stimulator. It would have made healing his leg much quicker.”

Spock was silent for a moment before asking “But it has a 12.98% increased chance of damage to the nervous system if there is a possibility of internal injury. Thus, the use of the bone-knitting laser could be considered the much safer method.”

“It could indeed, Mr Spock. You are welcome to stay with the captain a little longer but he needs rest. He shouldn’t wake for another couple of hours at the earliest.”

“Then I will leave you to your work. Please comm. when the captain has regained consciousness.” And with that, Spock gave a nod before walking out of the med-bay. M’Benga checked over Jim’s vitals once more before leaving the room as well. Leonard shifted further up the bed so that he was sitting by Jim’s thighs and took the captain’s hand in his own. He just sat there and watched the young man sleep, gently holding his hand and occasionally stroking it. He wasn’t really sure about the reason behind his actions; he had never been an overly comforting man when he was alive, so he supposed that it was just something about the blond that induced the need to care and be close. He was interesting to watch after all.

Leonard felt the movement of the hand in his but he didn’t move instantly. There was no need to flee, not when he couldn’t be seen. It would also take a little while for Jim to pull himself completely into consciousness. He just sat and squeezed back every time the fingers he held twitched. When he saw Jim’s eyelids begin to flutter, he squeezed one last time then pulled away as he got up. Jim opened his eyes just as M’Benga entered the room, alerted to the captain’s woken state by the beeping of the bio-bed.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, Captain,” the doctor said cheerfully, eyes flickering between his patient and the PADD with the results and vitals on.

“Thanks Doc. Excellent job as always it seems,” Jim said with a smile, cringing slightly as he dragged himself up. His actions earned him an exasperated sigh from M’Benga but no actual words.

“You should not be attempting such rigorous movements so soon after surgery.”

Leonard smiled at the disapproval in the contained voice from the doorway to the room.

“Aww Spock,” Jim cried happily, “you know me? I’m totally fine already.”

“Of course, Captain,” Spock said, making Leonard let out a bark of unheard laughter.

“So when can I leave, M’Benga?”

“I’d prefer to keep you until morning,” M’Benga said, not looking up from the PADD. Before Jim could begin to argue, he continued “however, I know that keeping you here is just as likely to hinder your healing because you’ll be anguish to leave. So I’m going to keep you until the end of Commander Spock’s shift and then he will escort you to your room, where you will remain and rest. You will also not be returning to active duty tomorrow. You may go and sit in your chair but that is the most strenuous activity you will be doing. Am I clear?”

“Crystal, Doctor M’Benga,” Jim replied seriously, clearly knowing it was the best deal he was going to get. M’Benga nodded in acceptance then left the room. Spock moved to stand next to where Leonard had been sat, and Leonard moved to sit on the edge of the bio-bed which hid the osteogenic stimulator.

“I’m fine, Spock. Really,” Jim said reassuringly.

“I had no doubt in Doctor M’Benga’s skills. There was however a complication during the surgery.”

“What happened?”

“A piece of technology went missing. M’Benga had to change his treatment plan at the end of the surgery.”

“Odd. Did it disrupt the surgery a lot? Cause any difficulties?”

“No Captain,” Spock explained. “In fact, the way M’Benga was forced to act was actually a safer option.”

“Better for me then I guess. Did they find the missing equipment?”

“No Captain, it would seem-”

Before Spock could finish speaking, Leonard used his foot to flick the stimulator out from under the bed. The other two men jumped at the sound of it scraping across the floor. Spock moved carefully, stepping over to the device and carefully picking it up.

“I assume that’s the missing equipment?” Jim asked, looking around the room but obviously not seeing anything out of the ordinary.

“Yes Captain. I am not sure how to explain what just happened.” Leonard couldn’t help but feel slightly smug at having caused such confusion in the unflappable Vulcan.

“Don’t worry about it Spock. We’ve probably just got a ghost,” Jim joked, a wide grin lighting up his face. While Spock began arguing the impossibility of such a theory, Leonard watched them and laughed.

“You two have no idea.”

Chapter Text

“Checkmate, Captain. Once again.”

“”There’s no need to be all smug about it.”

“Smug, Captain? I assure you that Vulcans-”

“Don’t get smug, I know Spock, you only tell me all the time.”

“If that is the case, then I do not understand why you keep questioning my actions.”

“Neither do I, Spock, neither do I.”

Leonard grinned at the banter, watching happily as Jim and Spock reset the board before them. He’d been gate-crashing their private chess games for a couple of weeks now, enjoying how relaxed and open both became when they were alone together.

“Maybe I should leave you alone together,” he suggested as the two chess players carefully avoided letting their hands touch as they replaced the pieces.

“Not that my being here actually makes any difference whatsoever,” he grumbled, slumping back in his seat beside Jim on the couch. Spock sat on the other side of the small table, which held not only the chess board but a couple of glasses filled with tea (despite protests from Jim. And Leonard.) and a bowl of the captain’s secret gummy bear stash. (“Gummy bears aren’t really a source of nutrients, kid. You’ve got to stop telling the hobgoblin that.”)

“So…” Jim said in a voice that wanted to be subtle but missed by light years. It made Leonard want to both face palm and slap the kid up the head. Spock only raised an eyebrow when Jim didn’t continue.

“What is it, Captain?”

“How many times do I have to tell you to call me Jim?” Jim asked exasperatedly.

“My apologies. What is the problem…Jim?”

Leonard couldn’t help a snort and a muttered “smart ass” at how quickly Spock brought the subject back around. Normally he’d argue the point – just because he could, Leonard thought – but because Jim obviously wanted to keep quiet a bit longer, he’d decided not to. It was just another thing that made Leonard fond of the pointy-eared bastard. For all his shtick about rules and regulations, Spock understood his captain on an intimate level and knew how to work him.

“It’s nothing,” Jim finally answered.

“Yeah right,” said Leonard along with Spock’s eyebrow.

“You know how creepy it is that I can understand your eyebrows, don’t you.”

“Please stop avoiding the subject Jim. If something is wrong I wish to help.” Spock’s voice was oddly sincere for how emotionless it usually sounded. Jim sighed and grabbed handful of gummy bears, stuffing them all in in one go but cleared his throat afterwards. Both Spock and Leonard leaned forwards in their seats to listen.

“I just…” Jim started but the words appeared to be stuck.

“Jim?” Spock’s voice was even softer now.

“Are you and Uhura okay?” Jim blurted so suddenly that Leonard saw Spock twitch slightly.

“Jim…I do not understand…” Spock was clearly confused by the line of questioning and unsure on how to respond so Leonard gave a gentle nudge to Jim’s side, wanting to encourage him to keep speaking. It thankfully worked because the young man took a deep breath before continuing.

“It’s just that you haven’t really seemed happy lately. I mean, you seem fine when it’s us but with her…I don’t know, maybe I'm imagining it. But to me…it looks like you’re pulling away from her. And you’re my friend, my best friend, so I…well I worry about you.” Jim looked so upset by his heartfelt admission that Leonard just wanted to take him in his arms and hold him close. Instead, he leaned through the table and tapped Spock’s hands that were sitting in his lap. The Vulcan wouldn’t be able to pick up any thoughts from him; he probably would barely feel the touch but Leonard hoped that it might evoke some action. Luckily, he was good at getting what he wanted.

Spock reached across the table and carefully took Jim’s hands in his. Jim looked up in shock but didn’t attempt to move away.

“I have felt recently as if something is…missing, between Nyota and myself. I am unsure what it is though and I am not certain how to bring it up without causing her to become upset,” Spock explained, keeping direct eye contact with Jim as he spoke.

“So you are unhappy?” Jim asked. “Is it my fault? Is it because you two aren’t getting enough time together? Am I monopolising you?”

“On the contrary, I enjoy my time with you greatly. I would not wish to stop it. I will speak with Nyota and we will solve our problems together. I am sorry I worried you. You need not any longer.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

They sat in silence then, just gently holding hands over the table while Leonard watched with a smile.

“Don’t worry,” he told them softly, hovering his hand over their joined ones. “I’m going to make sure you’re both happy. Together.”

*********

“And this is definitely the place to start,” Leonard mused, sitting on Spock’s desk and watching his date. He hadn’t expected it to be this awkward. Watching Jim and Spock hang out was always fun; even when they were discussing reports there was a level of rapport that was wonderful to view. It made Leonard smile to see them together every time. Watching Spock and Nyota made him cringe.

It clearly wasn’t just Spock that was feeling like something was missing, but where Spock pulled himself into his shell, Nyota pushed for more affection. Having to see Spock fight to stop himself from drawing away every time Nyota touched him, left Leonard feeling oddly cold and angry. He hated to see Spock so discomforted. He wanted to just pull Nyota away but he knew he couldn’t. It wasn’t just that he wished to keep his presence a secret – he knew that Nyota wasn’t really at fault. She just wanted assurance that her boyfriend still cared for her.

“How is work in the labs going? I don’t know what you’re studying at the moment.” Nyota’s voice was strained as she tried to keep the convoluted conversation going.

Instead of paying attention to Spock’s discoveries, Leonard let his thoughts wander to how to fix this love triangle.

First, Spock and Nyota’s relationship would have to be ended. They weren’t happy with each other, Leonard could see that. Nyota needed someone who would accept and return her affectionate touches while Spock needed someone who understood his limitations but didn’t let themselves be forced away. Spock needed Jim. And Jim needed Spock. Leonard was as sure of this as he was sure that he’d have to push them to make the right decisions.

“Well then, let Step One begin,” he breathed, and kicked Nyota’s chair just enough for her arm to knock into the jug of fruit juice on the table, and send it tumbling to the floor. Both Spock and Nyota jumped at the sound of breaking glass and moved quickly to clean up the mess.

“Oh God, Spock, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened, my whole arm just twitched.”

“It’s quite alright Nyota,” Spock assured, carefully picking pieces of glass.

“Tonight’s just a disaster!” Nyota cried, sitting back on her heels, her hands clenching in her lap.

“Why do you say that?”

“I’d have thought that was obvious,” Leonard answered.

“Everything just feels so forced!” Nyota was getting more upset, tears now filling her eyes though she didn’t let them fall. “You’re pulling away from me Spock, and I don’t understand why! I love you!”

“I know that you do-”

“And yet you don’t say it back! You don’t even tell me you care about me anymore!”

“I did not think you needed me to repeatedly tell you how I feel about you. You said that you understood that I cared for you and that you knew how difficult I found it to convey that care.”

“Yeah, well, that was then!” Nyota shouted before storming from the room.

“I am not sure what just occurred,” Spock murmured, staring confusedly at the door.

“Exactly what needed to,” Leonard told him, coming to stand behind him. “Sorry hobgoblin. But this really is for the best. For both of you,” Leonard added, patting him twice on the shoulder. Spock started at the pressure, turning to look yet not seeing anything but his empty room. Leonard decided then not to spend the night guarding Jim’s sleep but to keep Spock company, even if the Vulcan wouldn’t know he was there.

Chapter Text

Operation Spirk (Leonard had to admit that he heard the name from Chekov when the Russian was ranting at Sulu about “how cute the Keptin and Kommander are together.”) wasn’t something that could be rushed. Leonard knew Jim and Spock needed time to realise and accept that they were more than friends. He also didn’t really want Spock and Nyota’s relationship to end in an explosion. It would be better for them all if they could agree that they didn’t fit. So Leonard needed another way to keep entertained on this tin can.

After feeling great satisfaction at seeing the med-bay staff’s confused looks when he reorganised the medical inventory properly, he decided on how exactly he was going to have fun. When he’d been a kid, he’d gotten into some massive prank wars with his cousins, enjoying the hilarity of both a prank well-done and when someone else was given blame.

He decided to start small. He crept up to the bridge (even though he didn’t really need to) and waited for the shift change between Gamma and Alpha. As the Gamma crew stood up, he raced around his favourite stations, fiddling with the controls of the chairs. He settled on the arm of the captain’s chair to view his handy work as the Alpha crew settled down. It was a glorious sight to behold.

As Chekov and Nyota sat down, their chairs rocketed up, lifting their feet right off the floor and forcing them to grab onto the chair seats to stop themselves from falling. The back of Sulu’s chair tipped, sending the pilot flailing for his console. Spock ended up pretty much on the floor, his knees up by his pointy ears. Jim and the rest of the untouched crew had their hands over their mouths, or their lips tightly sealed in an attempt to hide their laughter, though all the shaking shoulders gave them away. Leonard made no such attempt.

“What happened?” Jim asked, taking deep breaths to stop his chuckles.

“Gamma,” Sulu said ominously, his voice promising revenge.

“And so it begins,” Leonard crowed, rubbing his hands together.

*********

The Gamma bridge crew may not have understood why Sulu’s specially-bred ‘Numbing Nettles’ ended up in their beds but they were quick to respond. Of course, each of them blamed someone else and soon it seemed only Spock was uninvolved in the ship-wide war. Leonard didn’t plan to leave it that way.

While Jim slept, Leonard opened the secret drawer that was installed in the captain’s desk. He assumed that most captains would use it to store secret documents or something, but not Jim. Jim used it for gummy bears. A glass jar of multi-coloured bears of small size but high sugar intake. Leonard smirked. He was to going to kill two birds with one stone with this prank. When Jim woke up and went in the drawer for a before-breakfast snack, he actually shrieked. The sound filled Leonard with endless glee; he guessed that he must have fulfilled some ghostly urge.

“Oh, it’s on,” Jim threatened, lifting up the jar now filled with Spock’s incense sticks.

Leonard didn’t regret his actions one bit when Spock stepped onto the bridge the next day, blue from head to toe.

“That’s just the beginning, Spock, if you don’t surrender the bears.”

“I do not understand, Captain,” Spock said, confusion written in his raised blue eyebrow.

“The gummy bears, Spock,” Jim explained, stepping right in his first officer’s personal space. “If you don’t return them, I will take further action.”

“I believe you are mistaken, Captain. I did not take your sweets.”

“Really? Because you’re the only one who knows where I hide them and they were replaced with your incense sticks.”

“Are you sure you have not just misplaced them? Perhaps we should go check your quarters?” Spock suggested logically, but Leonard could see the faint green tinge to his blue ears – the Vulcan wasn’t unaffected by all the attention his new colouring gained.

“Fine. Sulu, you have the conn,” Jim said grudgingly, leading the way into the turbolift. When they stepped out, Spock took the lead through the corridors and Leonard saw a golden opportunity. He’d spent a lot of his free time (Ha! All his time was free time.) studying Vulcan physiology in case he ever needed to help, and one of the things that really intrigued him was the sensitivity of their hands and ears. Especially the ears. Leonard wasn’t sure why the pointy ears fascinated him but he really wanted to see how sensitive they truly were. However, he couldn’t just touch one – Spock would want to know who was fiddling with his ears. But with Jim walking right behind Spock he had the perfect scape-goat.

Leonard checked that Jim was out of Spock’s line of sight then gently stroked the ear closest to him from tip to lobe. The effect was instantaneous.

Spock stopped walking, stopped dead in the middle of the corridor, causing Jim to bump right into him. Leonard watched delightedly as green bled right through blue.

“Urh, Spock? What’s up?” Jim asked, putting his hand gently on the Vulcan’s arm. Spock jumped and stuttered slightly.

“I…I…d-did you just…”

“Did I just what?” Jim asked, confused. “Are you alright?”

“Of course. Let’s go find your bears,” Spock said stiffly, setting back off down the corridor. Jim shrugged and followed him. Leonard walked behind them both, pleased that the blush didn’t quickly disperse. He supposed it was a bit unfair to just tease Spock, and there was another item that he wouldn’t mind getting his hands on.

“It’s for science,” he told himself with a grin and pinched Jim’s ass. The yelp and Spock’s confused look made the experience so much better.

*********

Though the Alpha bridge crew were his favourite targets, especially Jim and Spock, the rest of the Enterprise crew didn’t go unscathed by Leonard’s pranks. Doors up and down the ship were found locked by codes no one knew; turbolifts kept stopping at every floor; and quarter temperature controls varied from Artic to Sahara. At first the prank war hid his actions – the engineers had used all tools at their disposal – but once everyone settled down, people realised that the ‘glitches’ didn’t stop. Scotty came up to the bridge himself (and he hated leaving the heart of his lady) to tell Jim that he just didn’t know what was causing the problems.

“I’m tellin’ ya laddie, I didnae have a clue. The old girl’s fine. Green lights everywhere.”

As the Chief Engineer headed back to his domain, leaving Jim and Spock to discuss possible causes, Leonard thought about pulling back on his small but funny annoyances. And he probably would have if a young arrogant security officer hadn’t insulted Spock in front of him.

Lieutenant Chad Mitchells had been playing poker with a couple of his fellow security officers on the smaller observation deck where Leonard liked to look at the stars. Despite being dead, he still wasn’t keen being stuck in a metal box in space but he did love the view. He’d casually wandered past the game on his way to the viewing screen when he heard Mitchells complain about having the Vulcan for a commanding officer.

“He’s a real alien bastard, always going on about pointless regulations. It’s ridiculous putting him in a command position. He doesn’t understand us and is little more than a robot. What good does he actually do? Other than represent another member of the Federation?”

His friends quickly hushed him but the damage was done. Leonard wasn’t going to allow anyone to talk that way about his hobgoblin!

Lieutenant Mitchells found himself plagued. His quarters were constantly locking him out; when he went to use his water rations for a shower, it was freezing; he had no control over his room’s temperature settings; and he kept tripping over nothing. He complained about it, of course, but nothing could really be done. The problems didn’t even reach upper ears until Mitchells didn’t show up for either Gamma or Alpha shift and couldn’t be contacted on his communicator. Chief of Security Lieutenant Commander Giotto went to Jim and Spock and quietly explained the issues that had been occurring. Leonard sat listening with a smirk on his face that only grew as they headed to Mitchells’ quarters. He barked out a laugh at the looks on Jim’s, Spock’s and Giotto’s faces when they busted the door open.

Mitchells was tied to his bed in only his boxers, his mouth gagged and a sign on his chest that read I must not insult my superiors. As the three commanding officers set about freeing Mitchells and trying to figure out what happened, Leonard sat smugly on the desk. No one got away with insulting his hobgoblin.

Chapter Text

“Have you signed the transfer forms for Lieutenant Mitchells, Captain?”

“It’s off-hours, Spock.”

“Of course. My apologies, Jim.” Spock almost smiled at his captain, causing Jim to grin back at him and Leonard to hum happily at the sight of them.

“Everything’s signed off, Spock. When we stop at Starbase 3 he’ll be getting off. Have you had any luck figuring out what happened to him?”

Leonard leant forward, wondering if Spock had found anything. The Vulcan’s quiet release of breath told him all he needed to know.

“I am afraid not, Jim. The computer states that no one besides Lieutenant Mitchells was present in the room and I can find no indication of tampering.”

“Then what happened?” Jim exclaimed. “We have all these glitches that can’t be explained, then they all mysteriously stop but only after scaring away a member of my crew? If we don’t know what caused the glitches then there is no way of knowing if they’re going to start up again. Normally I wouldn’t complain; it wasn’t causing any harm really but now this thing with Mitchells? This is serious!” Jim collapsed back on his sofa, eyes closed and hands clenched above his head. He looked exhausted and Leonard felt terrible about causing him so much stress. He couldn’t say that he regretted what he’d done – Jim would have done similar if he’d known, he was sure – but he had never wanted to be a source of pain for the young captain. He wanted to offer comfort but knew he’d have to settle for having Spock give it. Luckily, the Vulcan seemed to understand that this was a time for boundaries to be broken.

“It will be alright, Jim,” Spock said soothingly, coming to stand behind Jim and place his hands on the blond’s shoulders. Jim lowered his own hands to his lap but didn’t open his eyes.

“How?”

“What happened to Lieutenant Mitchells was not caused by a glitch but a person. He was clearly targeted and now that he is leaving I believe there will be no more problems. Whoever is responsible had a problem with the Lieutenant and now he is gone, which was most likely their aim all along. There is nothing to worry about, Jim. The rest of the crew have reported no difficulties and are working at optimal capacity.”

“‘Optimal capacity’, eh? That’s surprisingly comforting. Thanks, Spock.” Jim looked up, leaning his head back against Spock’s chest and lifting his hands up to squeeze the ones resting on his shoulders.

“You are most welcome,” Spock replied, returning the gentle pressure on his hands. Leonard watched them; they looked so serene just gazing into each other’s eyes and gaining comfort from the other’s presence. He too gained warmth from their company, even though he wasn’t recognised as being there. It didn’t matter to him. Just seeing how much they cared for one another was enough – their happiness made him happy.

“And I’d be even happier if you’d just admit that you love each other,” he told them as he moved to join their space. They didn’t hear him but they did smile at each other before parting to set up the chess board for a game (or 5.)

*********

For all that Jim and Spock spent more time with each other than anyone else, they rarely spoke about anything of great significance in their lives. Oh, Leonard had heard plenty of Jim’s academy stories, and Spock had even shared a few tales of his time as both a student and a teacher, but nothing was said of what had truly shaped them. Leonard wasn’t sure what it was that was holding them back from speaking (he was certain it wasn’t anything good) but he was determined to fix it.

“Communication is essential to all healthy relationships after all,” he told Spock as he followed the Vulcan to the captain’s Ready Room to collect Jim for lunch. “So you should really just open up and tell him how you feel. If you’re not ready for that though, I’ll settle for a sharing of childhoods; bring the pair of you closer, you know?”

Spock, as always, ignored him and continued on his way silently. Leonard liked to think that his presence had a good, if not physical, impact all the same. Jim had slept soundly for the past month, not a single nightmare for Leonard to sooth. And the nights he kept Spock company, he was positive the hobgoblin was getting more ‘proper’ sleep, rather than just meditation.

“What would the pair of you do without me?” he asked brightly, and he took the minute twitch of Spock’s head to mean Nothing. We would be lost. It was good to be needed.

And as Jim exited his Ready Room and locked it behind him to fall in line with Spock, he knew exactly what he needed to do next. As Jim and Spock discussed the latest engineering reports, Leonard raced ahead of them to open the supply room that they’d need to pass by. It was just large enough to comfortably allow two grown men to sit/stand in – perfect for Leonard’s plan.

“Well the numbers for the power output all look healthy so- hold on. Why’s this open?” Jim paused mid-point to inspect the open door.

“Perhaps someone required an item and forgot to close the door?” Spock offered logically.

“Maybe. Let me just check the inventory.” Jim stepped right into the room to look at the display on the back wall while Spock stood in the doorway watching him.

“You’re not going to just go in, are you?” Leonard asked him with a sigh, and pushed the Vulcan hard in the back. Spock let out a grunt as he fell in, Jim quickly moved to steady him, and Leonard closed the door and changed the lock code. (It was very easy to learn people’s passwords when you were a ghost, and as Leonard was practically attached to Jim and Spock he had control of pretty much all of the Enterprise’s systems. It gave him a little thrill at times like these.) Jim and Spock had already begun to call for help from the corridor but it was as empty as when they entered it. That wouldn’t stop them using their communicators though, so Leonard phased through the door. (He didn’t really enjoy that part of being a ghost. Sure, it was handy but it left him feeling rather empty. Hard to pretend you’re alive when you can walk through walls.)

Luckily, Jim was more occupied with yelling for help and Spock was still distracted over ‘losing his balance for no reason’ for either of them to notice Leonard nicking their communicators and placing them on one of the shelves. When they eventually decided to comm. for help, Leonard had already begun setting up Phase Two on one of the PADDs the supply room stocked. While Jim and Spock were looking the other way – “This is ridiculous! How do we both just lose our communicators?” – he moved the PADD under the communication devices and then set it to bleep. He leant back into the wall (It was a good thing he was a ghost because three men wouldn’t have fit.) and watched his plan commence.

“There they are,” Jim sighed, picking up the device and passing Spock his. He tapped the PADD to silence it, pausing as the words on its screen caught his attention:

WHO CAN YOU TRUST WITH ALL YOUR SECRETS?

Leonard smiled as the words sunk in. He and Jim both knew the only answer Jim could give.

“Spock,” the blond captain said haltingly, “before we comm. someone to get us out, could I talk to you about something?”

“Of course, Jim. You can tell me anything,” Spock replied sincerely. Jim sighed, both in relief and readying himself for the conversation. He sat down on the floor, Spock moving to sit opposite him, and Leonard invisible in the wall between them.

“I know I can. I trust you.”

“Then what is it you wish to talk about?”

“I hated my childhood,” Jim began, and Spock instantly straightened, knowing that he was being shared something precious.

“My mom couldn’t stand the sight of me. I'm sure she loved me in her own way but I looked too much like my dad so she found it hard to stick around. She left as soon as she could, leaving me, my brother Sam, and the man she’d married so she wouldn’t be alone, Frank. And it was tough but we got used to it and everything seemed fine. Then Frank started drinking a bit too much and we were just the useless boys he’d been stuck with.” Jim trailed off, leaving it clear to Leonard and Spock what happened next.

“I guess it’s obvious what happened next. Drinking equals verbal abuse which then becomes physical abuse. Sam refused to take it and left when I was 8. I’ve only heard from him once, after Nero, trying to get back in touch but I didn’t even bother listening to the whole message before deleting it. He’s just a stranger now, a name in my past. He left me there and I can never forgive him for that.

“Anyway, I guess I got used to being stuck with Frank, and Mom showing up occasionally. Then I was 12 and everything changed. Frank was going to sell my Dad’s Corvette, so I drove it over the edge of a cliff just to keep it away from him, and when Mom came back a week later she completely agreed with him that I needed to be sorted out. She didn’t so much as look at me to notice that most of the bruises on me weren’t caused by jumping out of a car. She just shipped me off to Tarsus IV.”

“Jim…” Spock started but was stopped by Jim raising his hand.

“I don’t want to talk about that place. I don’t ever want to.”

“Then you never have to,” Spock said calmly.

“Promise?” Jim asked, catching the Vulcan’s eyes with his own shining ones.

“Promise,” Spock swore, taking Jim’s hands into his own. Jim closed his own, comforted by the contact before continuing.

“I got home eventually. Mom stuck around a little longer but…it didn’t last. She left, I grew, I left. Didn’t get out of Iowa, but I never stepped back in that house again. Mom calls occasionally but I don’t really consider her family anymore. Not real family. Not like you and the others. Especially not like you.”

“I consider you family also.”

They shared a soft look, no smile but there was a gentleness to it that Leonard longed to be able to share in. He shook the feeling away as Spock took his turn to speak.

“I was not fond of my childhood either. My parents both took it upon themselves to make sure I was aware that they cared for me, though they had different methods. However, they were the only ones. Everyone else on Vulcan looked down on me and made sure I was informed of how they felt about my heritage. I was half-human and thus was considered lesser. I was believed to be too emotional to be Vulcan. And yet when I came to Earth I found that I was too emotionless to fit in with the humans. It left me rather unsure as to where I belonged.”

“You belong here,” Jim said hurriedly. “You belong here, with me. You’re probably the best thing to happen to me, Spock, and I’d honestly be lost without you.”

“I feel the same about you, Jim,” Spock admitted quietly, and they shared a small smile this time but the exchange was no less gentle. It tugged at Leonard’s heart, and when Jim and Spock finally called for assistance and Chekov came running to let them out, he didn’t follow but stayed sitting in the dark supply room. He had been so focused on Jim and Spock’s love for each other and trying to get them together that he hadn’t stopped to consider his own feelings. He’d ignored the twinges in his chest every time either of them smiled; he'd dismissed the warmth that came over him as he watched them sleep peacefully; he'd completely misread the joy that consumed him when he watched them be their brilliant selves. He’d wanted them to admit their feelings for each other and never once realised that in getting so close his own had changed. They were getting closer to being happily in love together, and he was stuck on the outside falling in love with them both.

Chapter Text

Watching Jim and Spock eat lunch had become torture for Leonard. Knowing that he’d never be able to sit beside them and be acknowledged, never able to join in their conversations, never able to offer food from his own tray to theirs. It hadn’t hurt this much before he knew how he felt. Yeah, there had been the occasional ache in his chest as he sat invisible by their sides, but now it was…He couldn’t even say that it was killing him because it just reminded him of how much was wrong with this situation.

He sighed and tried to just enjoy being there. Jim and Spock had really embraced their bond after sharing their childhoods, and though they still hadn’t said what they felt for each other, they were closer than ever. And Leonard couldn’t begrudge them that. It did make him feel warm to see them together; there was now just a storm cloud on the edge of those feelings that froze a small part of him. He’d get through it though. He always did. (He ignored the voice that told him he hadn’t fallen in love while being dead before. Yes, he’d gotten attached, but never on this level.)

“I am happy for you. You two know that right?” Leonard stated, his voice strong as he looked between Jim and Spock. The two were nodding – in response to something Jim had said, but it was good enough for him.

“Do you want to do something different this evening?” Jim asked bluntly. Spock blinked, the only sign of his confusion over the sudden topic change, and swallowed the bite of food he’d taken before replying.

“What did you have in mind, Jim?” The use of his name made Jim grin and Leonard as well. Spock had been using it much more freely, though he did still refer to the blond as ‘Captain’ when he felt the situation required more formality.

“Well, we always play chess. I wondered if you maybe wanted to watch a movie or something. You said that you’d never seen any of the classics so I thought I could educate you.”

“I would like that. It sounds fascinating.”

Jim, who’d been focusing on his tray while speaking, looked up so quickly Leonard was worried that he’d snap his neck.

“Really?”

“Of course. I believe it will be enjoyable to experience these ‘classics’.”

“You bet it will be!” Jim crowed, his grin wide and infectious. Spock gave him a small twitch of his own lips in return and Leonard smiled widely.

“So what are you going to show him, kid? It better be something good. How about- oh here comes trouble,” Leonard groaned as Nyota entered the mess hall, grabbed her food then made straight for Spock.

Leonard really had no problems with the Communications Officer except that she was in the way of Jim and Spock’s happiness. And while Spock wasn’t truly happy with her, she couldn’t be truly happy either. Leonard knew that she was highly intelligent but he couldn’t quite understand why she was pushing so hard to keep her relationship with Spock. He had been sure that after the fight that ended their last date, Nyota had figured that they weren’t working as a couple anymore, and he had been waiting for her to end it knowing that it was for the best. However, instead of doing that, Nyota had fought for more time spent with Spock and for more affectionate gestures. Leonard had taken to slapping her hand every time she reached out towards Spock because it was hurting him to see Spock so upset whenever they touched. He knew that the Vulcan felt Nyota’s anger and confliction about their relationship when she took his hand, and he knew that Nyota knew that as well, so it angered him that she still kept going for the touches. Spock was too engrossed in his feelings for Jim to realise that he needed to end the relationship (and Leonard had spent a whole night ranting about that to him and had been very pleased that Spock couldn’t seem to meditate as he did so.) and Nyota was also being stubborn by thinking that it could be fixed. He understood that she loved Spock and didn’t want to lose him, but she could see that they weren’t happy together anymore and yet wouldn’t do what was needed.

Leonard had had enough. He was going to have to break them up. It wasn’t something he was looking forward to, and he really hadn’t planned to do it, but they weren’t following his script so it was time for some creative directing.

“Afternoon, Captain. Spock, why don’t you come sit with me?” Nyota sounded polite but there was a bite beneath her words, especially when she was addressing Jim.

“Jim and I were in the middle of a discussion. Why not join us? I am sure your opinion will be most useful.” As soon as Spock said the words Leonard wanted to close his eyes. The Vulcan may have been trying to be both logical and inclusive but it wasn’t going to work. As Leonard’s Mama had said a long time ago, you’re only allowed one dessert. It didn’t stop you from having two, but Leonard had learned that the looks of disappointment got too strong to ignore. As was all the nutrition and diet information that was hammered into him by both his doctor father and his textbooks.

Nyota sat stiffly beside Spock and moved to take his hand. Leonard saw him flinch as her emotions flooded him and he saw Jim notice it as well. The blond flushed as he tried to reign in his anger, and Leonard, seated beside him but on the table top, tugged gently as his shirt to pull him back, foreseeing him jumping over the table to rip Nyota’s hand away. That wouldn’t solve things so it was best that it was left to Leonard.

Because Jim had stopped the conversation to calm himself down, Nyota took it upon herself to start speaking. Leonard was sure that it was actually an interesting subject, but she was purposefully snubbing Jim, trying to keep Spock focused on her. Poor Spock was trying to direct points at Jim but Nyota batted them away with ease, helped by the fact that Jim was now sitting with his head down. His feelings were clearly overwhelming him and Leonard could see him bolting any minute to be alone. And from the smirk hidden in the corners of Nyota’s mouth, she knew that too and was hoping for that result. Leonard felt bad for her then. She wasn’t really a cruel person but he knew it was hard to watch the person you’re in love with develop feelings for someone else, feelings that you could never compete with. His situation was slightly different in that he wanted his love to love another because he loved them as well and he couldn’t be involved because he was dead…but it was similar enough.

Leonard took a deep breath, said “I’m sorry” to Nyota, and then flipped her untouched tray of food all over her. She shrieked and jumped up, but it was too late to stop her uniform being covered in her soup and salad dressing.

“Nyota are-”

“Don’t ask if I’m alright, of course I’m not!” she yelled at Spock. “Why did you do that?!” she asked angrily turning on Jim. The blond just gaped at her, lifting his hands from where they had been sat, clenched, in his lap.

“Nyota, Jim could not possibly have tipped the tray,” Spock told her sternly, upset that Jim was being blamed. “His hands were in his lap the whole time. We would have seen him reach across the table.”

“Oh, take his side! You always do!” she cried, tears now in her eyes, and she ran from the room. All eyes followed her then turned back to the table where Jim and Spock (and Leonard) sat.

“You should go after her,” Jim said quietly. Spock opened his mouth to reply but Jim just shook his head.

“You need to talk to her.”

Spock nodded and left the room.

“It’s okay, kid. I’ll keep an eye on him,” Leonard promised, following after the Vulcan.

He found Spock and Nyota a few corridors down, Nyota with tears streaming down her cheeks and Spock looking oddly lost.

“I can’t keep doing this Spock,” Nyota was saying, voice firm despite her sadness. “I can’t keep being second best. You need to make a decision: Me or him?”

“Jim is my closest friend. I do not understand why you will not allow us to be so.”

“Because he is not just a friend!” Nyota shouted. “But your answer is clear enough. Goodbye Spock. I love you, but I need time before we can be friends again. Don’t worry, I will still be professional.” She turned away from him and walked away. Spock made to go after her but Leonard pulled him back by his arm. Spock turned around, surely expecting to see Jim but instead for him the corridor was empty. He turned back around but didn’t try to follow Nyota again.

“She did the right thing, Spock. You’ll be fine, both of you will. Just give it time,” Leonard soothed. Spock let out an uncharacteristic sigh and went to re-join Jim in the mess hall, Leonard right behind him.

Chapter Text

After the breakup Jim and Spock spent every free moment together. They even sat and did all of their reports side-by-side. (Which Leonard thought they should have done earlier because Jim could be so lazy when it came to paperwork.) And though neither said anything, Leonard could see that both of them were coming to the same conclusion about their feelings. It was in the way that Jim watched Spock’s fingers as they handled chess pieces, and it was in the way Spock’s mouth twitched up when Jim brushed past him. Watching them now, Leonard found it ridiculously hard not to just shove them into each other but he felt that it was best to let them make the last step on their own. All they needed to do was say the words. It couldn’t really take them too long, could it?

*********

“You’re both idiots,” Leonard said two weeks later, irritation filling his voice. Jim and Spock were sat once more in the captain’s Ready Room, going over their itinerary for the next month. They were sat with their heads so close that Leonard was struggling not to just knock them together. It would probably result in pain rather than a kiss, but right now Leonard didn’t care. He was feeling vindictive. He had been so sure that Jim and Spock were only a step away from entering a relationship, but they apparently had decided to treat that step as a bloody mile. They were the closest that they’d ever been; they couldn’t actually be closer unless one of them said the magic words.

“You’re in love! One of you just say it, please! You’re killing me, and I'm already dead!”

Leonard had taken to shouting at them, hoping that somehow his feelings would seep into them. He was certainly projecting as loud as possible. But no matter what he said, they just ignored him. He’d even tried to sway their subconscious by repeating “You love him,” over and over in their ears as they slept. Still nothing. If he had to lock them in another supply room…

“Captain,” came Nyota’s voice through the communicator. “You’re needed back on the bridge.”

“On our way Uhura,” Jim acknowledged. He and Spock got up, Leonard begrudgingly following them in a sulk.

“What’s up then?” Jim asked as he stepped onto the bridge, Spock staying at his shoulder. Leonard decided to flounce down in the captain’s chair, seeing as Jim was focused on the viewing screen.

“We’re picking up some chatter from a nearby ship. They say they're refuges from a planet in the next sector but their ship has broken down,” Nyota explained.

“Do we have anything to corroborate their story?” Jim asked, in full captain mode now.

“That sector is marked as dangerous. Many of the planets are engaged in civil war due to the civilisations expanding,” Spock read off his station. “There are several accounts of refugee ships being recused by Federation vessels.”

“Very well then. Let’s get them aboard. Pass the message along please, Uhura.”

“Yes Captain.”

“Just because you’re helping people doesn’t make you less of an idiot,” Leonard groused. “You can be as sweet as you like, it doesn’t change anything. Hell, it’d serve you right if they weren’t refugees.”

*********

They weren’t refugees. Of course, they weren’t. The Enterprise would never just find some poor refugees that could easily be saved. No, they had to be pirates in disguise. Pirates who were clearly experienced in capturing StarFleet ships, Leonard thought, as he watched the horned beings remove the weapons of everyone on the bridge and seal the doors, all the while keeping the crew on the wrong end of laser pistols.

“Oh, Captain,” the leader of the pirates said mockingly, “this was far too easy. I didn’t realise they were just giving the title away now.”

Spock moved to say something in return, anger in his eyes at the insult, but Jim put his hand on his chest to keep him back.

“Who are you?” Jim asked.

“Not important. All you need to know is that we’re taking you’re ship.”

“You will find that rather difficult. No matter what, my crew will fight.”

“Not if I switch off the life support system for everywhere but the bridge. Then all I have to do is kill you. But I’ll let you watch your crew’s last moments first, don’t worry.”

As the leader spoke, one of his minions moved to Chekov’s station, shoving the young man out of the way. Sulu caught him and dragged him into his arms, anger palpable on his face. The minion started moving through the systems and Leonard knew he had to act. He moved to the minion’s side, and saw that he was trying to enter a line of code. Not knowing what else to do, Leonard hit CLEAR. The code was erased. The pirate let out a yell of anger and began to enter it again. Leonard hit CLEAR. This repeated several more times, Leonard beginning to grin at the rising exasperation on the minion’s face, when the leader finally had enough.

“WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG!” he roared.

“I’m s-sorry, s-sir,” the minion stammered. “But the computer keeps clearing the code as I put it in.”

Leonard noticed Jim and Spock exchange a look; they had been reminded of the glitches. He wasn’t the only one to notice their dawning understanding though.

“What is going on?” the pirate leader asked menacingly, placing his weapon directly on Jim’s forehead.

“My ship is a little glitchy,” Jim said calmly, ignoring the pistol waiting to shoot through his skull. “Guess your plan’s not going to work.”

“Or I could just kill you first and see if that fixes your ‘glitch’,” was hissed back. He didn’t believe that this wasn’t just a trick. Spock tried to get in front of Jim but he was pulled back by two other pirates. Leonard watched in horror as Jim stood stoically before his death. Screw being careful, Leonard thought, and threw himself across the bridge and down onto the arm holding the laser pistol. The pirate leader yelled at the sudden weight on his arm, finger reflexively pulling the trigger, but Leonard had changed the angle and the shot went wide, hitting one of the two pirates holding Spock. That was all it took.

The bridge crew leapt into action, taking advantage of the pirates’ confusion. Leonard didn’t pay much attention to the struggles going on around him, too busy trying to get the pistol out of the leader’s grip. He punched and kicked, knocking his opponent to the ground and soon enough the other had to let go because on his end he was fighting nothing but weight. As Leonard stood above the pirate leader, weapon pointed at his head, he took notice of the silence around him and looked up.

The other pirates were either unconscious or had weapons turned on them by the crew. All present were looking at Leonard and he quickly understood why. He may not be visible but the pistol certainly was, pointed at the horned being on the floor. To them, nothing was holding it up. He dropped the gun. The pirate tried to grab it but Leonard kicked it behind him towards Jim. The captain picked it up and took up Leonard’s previous stance.

“Uhura, please contact Security. It’s time to put this lot in the brig.”

*********

“You’re the only remotely psychic member of my crew. Do you have any idea what happened up there?”

Jim and Spock had finally retired to the captain’s quarters after long hours of trying to explain to StarFleet what had transpired. Jim had flopped straight down on his sofa while Spock sat more carefully next to him. Leonard perched on the arm of the sofa, heart metaphorically pounding. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen now. And he wasn’t sure what he wanted to happen. Even if he revealed his presence to Jim and Spock it wasn’t going to change anything. Wouldn’t trying to connect with them be more painful than just watching? His heart already ached so much. How could he attempt to communicate with them, knowing that even if it worked, he’d never be able to tell them he loved them? And wasn’t that hypocritical of him after working so hard to get them to admit to their feelings?

“Vulcans are merely touch telepaths, Jim. And though there have been moments were I have felt as if I had been touched, I have never felt anything telepathically.” Spock was just as confused as Jim, Leonard could see that.

“I know, when the medical equipment got moved, I joked about there being a ghost…” Jim trailed off.

“It seems highly improbable.”

“But not impossible?” Jim pressed.

“Considering the evidence, no,” Spock reasoned. “But I would not know how we would go about ascertaining proof. Or communication.”

“Oh god, you know what? No more talking,” Leonard moaned. “Here’s your god damn proof!”

He slid down the arm of the chair, right up behind Jim, and practically lifted the blond into Spock’s lap. They both let out yelps at the movement (though he knew both would never admit it) but didn’t fight the shift. In fact, Spock reached out to pull Jim more firmly onto his lap while Jim wrapped his arms around the Vulcan’s neck.

“Hi,” Jim said softly once he was finally settled.

“Hello,” Spock replied, equally as soft.

“Guess our ghost has something to say,” Jim laughed lightly. “Guess I do too.”

“I agree,” Spock said quietly.

“Spock...” Jim began hesitantly. Spock inched his face closer and Leonard leaned in as well, hands clenched in front of his mouth. God, they were so close.

“I…”Jim stopped again. He shook his head and took a deep breath.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Leonard freely admitted that he squealed as the two stubborn young men finally shared their first kiss.

“It’s about time,” he muttered happily. “And I love you both too.”

Chapter Text

Leonard sighed once again. Since getting Jim and Spock (finally) together, he found himself doing it a lot. He knew it made him sound like a teenage girl with a crush but he couldn’t help it. He wasn’t sure how else to act. Watching Jim and Spock dance around each other had been torturous enough; now his heart wouldn’t unclench. Oh, don’t get him wrong, he loved to see the warm smiles they shared and the secret touches of their hands, but it made him ache with want to be included in those smiles and touches. He knew better than to let himself get caught up thinking about it though. They couldn’t ever care for him as he cared for them so he tried to just let himself be consumed with happiness at their love for each other. And it did make him happy, truly happy. He rarely left their sides, wanting to see every aspect of their relationship now that he’d helped it to unfold.

They still had their separate quarters (next door to each other so they were never really far apart) so that they could enjoy their privacy when needed but they rarely wanted to be alone now that they didn’t have to be. Most nights were spent together, in one bed or the other, and Leonard felt at peace watching them sleep wrapped around each other. (And felt decidedly less peaceful during activities that weren’t sleep but still involved them wrapped up together. Due to his state – ha – he only felt the ghost – HA – of arousal. It didn’t stop him observing though.)

His favourite moments of them though were in the morning, as they prepared for their shift. Spock always rose first, Jim mumbling sleepily as the Vulcan pulled away but calming with a gentle kiss dropped on his blond head. (Leonard would occasionally give him one too.) Spock would then move to the bathroom to wash up. (And Leonard would sometimes watch. Unless Jim managed to pull himself from sleep as well, and then he’d definitely watch.) (He’d never claimed to be a saint after all. Just a bored ghost.) Spock would rouse Jim, even going so far as to drag the covers off of him, before taking both their uniforms from the drawers. (Jim and Spock had both been shocked to find their clothes split between their rooms but Leonard had simply laughed at their expressions. It had been silly when one or the other had to return to their own room just to get dressed in the morning.)

After their bridge shift, Leonard tended to follow Spock down to the labs. He liked to give commentary to Spock’s work, enjoying the scientific atmosphere. Occasionally, he’d go off on his own, usually to med-bay to check out which crew members had injured themselves and listen to the nurses gossip. He missed being a working doctor, tending to patients ad creating new procedures. He was pleased to know that he had made a difference in the medical profession. When he’d been staying in the StarFleet hospital, he’d looked up his work, not expecting anything, only to find that he’d fathered a whole branch of neurosurgery. His name and procedure was apparently in the textbooks that medial students were taught from these days.

So even though it hurt to watch the love between Jim and Spock, he didn’t stop because he loved to see it, and them. And though they’d never know him, his name hadn’t vanished into obscurity, and that was good enough for him.

*********

For Jim and Spock though, it clearly wasn’t enough. Now that they knew there was an unseen presence on the ship, they were determined to find him. (Not that they knew Leonard was a him.) They’d taken to spending their evenings going through the security footage of each moment they believed that he’d been present: Jim’s switched surgery, Lieutenant Mitchells’ imprisonment, the supply room lock-in, and of course the fight on the bridge.

They watched the footage over and over; asked the computer for readings on occupant numbers, temperature, and other more obscure things; and tried to figure out how the pranks/glitches had occurred. But all they saw were items moving by themselves and learnt that their control codes had been used up and down the ship.

“This is ridiculous!” Jim finally cried, throwing his PADD down after another evening going over the footage of the fight. “There must be a way to find him.”

“Him, Jim?” Spock inquired.

“Our ghost!”

“How do you know that our ghost is male?”

“Well,” Jim started slowly, “I don’t actually know. I guess I'm just assuming. And if they aren’t male, I'm sure we’ll be given a sign.” He finished with a triumphant grin. Leonard snorted.

“I’m afraid a sign isn’t in your future, kid,” he stated confidently, shoving down the part of himself that said that was a lie. It was for his own good that he keep quiet.

“Perhaps instead of looking for him, we should attempt to convince him to come to us,” Spock suggested.

“What do you mean?” Jim asked, curious. Leonard was curious as well. Just what did the hobgoblin have planned?

“Our ghost has consistently only made himself known in response to something else. He clearly watches us, and acts when he feels the urge to. I do not believe that we will discover him. We both agree that he is aware of our knowledge of him, yes?”

“Well considering he pushed me into your lap right as we were talking about him, yeah, he knows we know,” Jim agreed.

“Then he will make an effort to not be found if he does not want to be.”

“Then what do we do?” Jim asked. “I want to just talk to him. I owe him a massive thank you.”

“We both do,” Spock amended, which Jim answered with a nod. “So perhaps our best cause of action is simply to leave a thank you.”

“You mean leave a PADD with the words ‘Thank You’ on it and hope our ghost sees it and leaves a reply?”

“I calculate that to be our best cause of action. We can only wait for our ghost to make the first move.”

“Okay then,” Jim said, pulling his PADD back towards him. “Let’s do this.”

They argued over the message for a while, Leonard listening in amusement, before heading to bed, leaving the PADD on the bedside table.

“I do hope he talks to us,” Jim murmured as he succumbed to sleep. Spock merely gave a hum of agreement. Leonard smiled softly down at them, perching on the end of the bed to watch them sleep.

“I swear,” he said quietly, “if I wasn’t already dead, you two would probably be the death of me. And I don’t think I’d even mind.” He leaned forward and placed a gentle to kiss to each of their foreheads then settled back to wait for morning.

*********

The PADD sat untouched for three days before Leonard gave into his heart and replaced the message with his own:

You’re welcome.

But honestly, you were taking too long.

Chapter Text

Leonard knew that responding to the message would just encourage Jim and Spock to continue their search for him but he hadn’t expected them to be quite so enthusiastic. When they saw his reply the next morning, Jim had started jumping about, shouting about what to write next; all the questions he wanted answered, while Spock kept muttering “Fascinating,” as he held the PADD and started postulating ideas on how a lack of visual body could interact physically. Their excitement only caused the ache in his chest to grow, and he fled the room.

He decided that he needed space from them for a while, just until he could breathe (metaphorically) freely. The knowledge that they wanted to actually know him was just too much too soon. He needed to get away. Not permanently; he loved them too much to draw away completely, but he needed to think about something other than their (terrifyingly intense) interest in him.

So he decided to check in on the other crew members, starting with M’Benga. The doctor was always so busy dealing with the troublesome crew so Leonard wanted to see if there was anything he could do to help. He was surprised to find med-bay free of patients, for once, and lacking a CMO. The other doctors and nurses were all also being oddly quiet, just sitting on the beds chatting in low voices or sorting through inventory and PADDs. He phased through the locked door of the office and found the reason for the lull. Geoffrey M’Benga was asleep at his desk, surrounded by PADDs full of medical and inventory forms.

“You people are terrible at getting the right amount of sleep,” Leonard complained. “You’re a doctor, man. Set a good example.” M’Benga merely let out a snore causing Leonard to shake his head in fond exasperation.

“Let’s take a look then. What forms do we have to do?” Leonard perched himself on the desk and pulled the PADDs towards him. It looked like M’Benga had fallen asleep while signing all of the bureaucratic forms that came with running a med-bay. There was also a list of current inventory being used to fill in what would need to be restocked when they stopped at the next starbase. Leonard took one look at the exhausted man and began filling out the inventory form. He didn’t send it off when he finished it but left it for M’Benga to check over, just in case the doctor decided to pick up some of the not so urgent supplies as well. Leonard also read through the bureaucratic forms, something he had had to do when he was alive and it seemed not much had changed it that respect. He found M’Benga’s signature and copied it onto all of the forms, sending off only the ones that were close to being late. (He knew no problems would occur from his actions – most of the forms just had to be signed anyway as they weren’t responsible for changes.)

He left M’Benga to his nap and went looking for Chekov. He found him with Sulu in the arboretum but one glance was all he needed to know that it was best that he continue on his way. It would seem that Jim and Spock weren’t the only new lovebirds, but Leonard had no interest in hijacking Chekov and Sulu’s date.

He kept wandering around the ship, no real destination in mind – he just wanted to keep his mind off of what Jim and Spock were currently up to. (And there he went, thinking about it. God dammit, man, pull it together.) He finally found himself on the observation deck, just staring out at the stars. They were beautiful like this; pure light against the darkness of space, their brightness not curbed by civilisation. And each was so far from another. He sighed. He felt like a star sometime; looking on but separated, never to be reached.

“Enough with the depressing thoughts, Leonard,” he chastised himself. “Just go back to Jim and Spock. This is the closest you’re ever going to get, so just get used to it.” He gave a decisive nod of his head and turned to leave, only to be stopped at the sight of Nyota sitting by herself, reading.

He felt bad for what he’d done to her but he stuck by his actions. She’d needed to open her eyes and, watching her occasionally these past weeks, she’d truly blossomed. She was no longer being held back by her doubts and was free to be her brilliant self. She’d really focused on her friendships with Christine Chapel and Janice Rand, all of them sitting together, laughing and chatting without a care. She was more relaxed and her shoulders seemed lighter. Leonard moved to sit with her, trying to see what she was reading. He didn’t have a clue what the title said but he was pretty sure from the cover that it was about Romulans so it was probably a good guess that that was what language it was written in.

“That looks…interesting,” he said, frowning at the foreign words. “What’s it about?”

“Hey Ny!” was called across the room. They both looked up to see Chapel hurrying over to join them.

“Christine! I didn’t think you’d be here until later.”

“M’Benga let me go early because med-bay was having a slow day.”

“It’s about time you got one of those.” Both women laughed, Leonard grinning alongside them. They chatted aimlessly for a while, Leonard not really paying attention until Chapel caught his ear with one word.

“So…Spock?”

“What about him?” Nyota didn’t sound upset, merely curious about her friend’s inquiry, which Leonard took as a good sign.

“Well, you haven’t actually spoken to him properly since the break-up, and now he’s dating the captain, and I just wondered how you were holding up.” Chapel looked so genuinely concerned that Leonard almost felt bad. He hadn’t exactly thought of the far reaching consequences of his actions. Nyota, though, just smiled softly.

“I’m fine, Christine. Hell, I’m better than fine. I feel so much more relaxed. I hadn’t realised just how much stress it was causing me trying to keep Spock and I together.”

“What about him dating again?”

“All I can say is that it’s about time.”

(Leonard might have yelled “Finally, someone who understands!” at that.)

“Really? You’re happy that he’s dating Kirk?”

“I left because I could already see that Spock loved him. Honestly, while I was glad that he didn’t go straight from our relationship to theirs, I was a bit concerned when it took so long. I thought I was going to have to just tell Kirk to ask him out.”

“Men. What can you do about them?”

They started laughing again and Leonard took his leave. Nyota was going to be just fine, and he knew that he’d found an ally in looking after the dynamic duo. Speaking of which, he should get back to them. There was no telling what sort of trouble they could have gotten into without him watching them.

*********

Jim and Spock had settled on leaving just a single question for him, rather than bombarding him for information, which pleased him greatly. Leonard wasn’t ready to just tell them all about him. He looked at the words on the PADD they’d sat back on the bedside table, then looked back at them playing chess in the living area of Spock’s quarters. Could he really do this? Could he truly reveal himself? Accepting their ‘thank you’ had been one thing, this was giving away a part of himself. Answering this would mean no going back, surely? He’d be a real part of their space, and wouldn’t be able to leave. (Not that he believed that he’d have been able to make himself leave before. But now there would be no option.)

He stared at the question as Jim and Spock finished playing and went to bed, Jim gently running a finger across the PADD as he climbed in. (Leonard denied that the gesture made him shiver.) He watched them sleep, eyes drifting now and then from them to the PADD. Minutes before the alarm would sound to wake Spock, Leonard made up his mind.

He answered.

Chapter Text

What is your name?

Leonard

*********

Where did you come from?

I was at the StarFleet hospital in San Francisco before moving to your ship. But my bones call Georgia home. Or whatever’s left of them does.

*********

Your bones? You’re definitely a ghost then? Not an alien entity that doesn’t have a physical presence?

Pretty sure I’m a ghost. I remember dying.

*********

If you do not mind my asking, why were you at the hospital?

I don’t mind at all, Spock. I used to be a doctor. I still like to watch and learn. You have a very good CMO, Jim. M’Benga is very talented.

*********

A doctor, eh? Nice. That why you got involved in my surgery, Bones?

Bones? I’m not sure what you mean by that, but yes, that is why I intervened; my method was safer.

*********

You said your bones are from Georgia, so…Bones. It’s your nickname now.

I apologise for his illogical needs. It is best just to indulge him.

*********

Bones. He’d been given a nickname. Doctor Leonard McCoy, dead for 244 years, had been given a nickname by one of the (very alive) men he was in love with. He couldn’t breathe. (You couldn’t anyway, sniped a horrible voice in his head. You’re dead.) He felt like his heart was trying to break out of his chest; never mind that it no longer beat, it felt like a goddamn drum solo was going on in there. He hadn’t replied to the last message, unsure of what to say or even if he wanted to continue the correspondence.

On the bridge that morning, Sulu had asked if Jim and Spock had made any progress on working out what saved them. Jim had sent a smile full of mischief and secrets to Spock (and Leonard due to his position sitting on the Vulcan’s station) before replying that they had high hopes of being apply to tell the crew everything soon enough.

That had completely thrown him. It was one thing to answer Jim and Spock’s questions and interact with them secretly (or not so secretly as was now the case) but to show himself (figuratively) to the others? To have to watch as Chekov and Sulu struggled to try and hold conversations with him when he couldn’t speak? To have Scotty wonder if every time the Enterprise messed up if it was his fault? To have to tell Nyota that he’d purposefully sabotaged her relationship? (It would be nice to be able to apologise but he didn’t want that to what defined their…what? Defined their what?) To see Jim and Spock get frustrated over how incorporeal he was and then have to watch as they tried to change that? Because they would; they would want to try and have all of him. He didn’t begrudge them that – it was just their natures; part of what he loved about them. But they couldn’t have all of him. There was only so much of him left.

“Spock, Bones hasn’t put a reply to our last message yet.” Jim’s voice pulled Leonard back into the moment. The blond captain was sitting on his bed, the PADD in his hand and a thoughtful frown on his face.

“Perhaps he is not fond of your nickname for him,” Spock suggested, walking out of the bathroom.

“Do you think?” Jim asked worriedly. “I’m sorry, Leonard. I’ll stop, promise.”

Leonard smiled at Jim’s address. It warmed him that he was welcome in their space; that that was where they expected him even. He also liked how they never addressed the ceiling like he was some disembodied voice, but instead just spoke their words to the whole room. He felt as if he was really a part of their space – that he didn’t need a physical body. And then Spock stepped through him and the delusion shattered.

Usually he moved out of the way of people. With inanimate objects he had to focus on being able to pass through them. It wasn’t really hard for him to do – he just didn’t like doing it. It was the opposite with living beings; he had to focus on touching them. That wasn’t hard either; if he wanted to touch someone, he was able to, because that’s what he was thinking about. But if he didn’t think about it…

He’d been so focused on Jim, being happy that he was being addressed and also wanting to console the blond for thinking the nickname wasn’t appreciated, that he hadn’t kept an eye on Spock’s whereabouts and didn’t move out of the way in time. It was exactly the sort of reminder he didn’t want. He may feel at times that this was enough but it wasn’t really. Nothing could compare to being physical. They may not treat him like a disembodied voice but he wasn’t much more. (Pull it together man, don’t get greedy said a sensible voice but it wasn’t very loud and was being smothered by all the depressing thoughts so Leonard found it easy to ignore.)

“The nickname’s fine,” he said, voice catching. “But this isn’t enough.”

Jim and Spock didn’t hear him, talking about the admiral visit/inspection that was coming up. Their lack of acknowledgement, though not their fault, solidified Leonard’s decision.

“I love you,” he whispered. “I love you both. But I’m just a ghost and I need to accept that. Which means no more messages, no more nicknames, no more thinking I’m around. I’m not really going anywhere; I couldn’t stop watching you for the whole universe. But I don’t belong by your side, not as anything more than a silent presence that can’t be seen or felt. I won’t leave you a note saying goodbye; this is my goodbye. Goodbye to the communication, goodbye to feeling included, goodbye to the dream that this could work. You can’t hear this, but it still counts because I said it. You not being able to hear it is just further proof that this isn’t going to work. So…goodbye.”

*********

Hey, Leonard, sorry about the nickname. Let’s talk about something else. Where did you learn to be a doctor?

*********

Leonard? Was that a bad question? You don’t have to answer it. Why don’t you choose a conversation topic?

*********

I’m really worried now. I’ve been saying that out loud as well, you know? Can you just let us know nothing has happened to you? Please? Or I’ll start walking around the Enterprise shouting your name!

*********

Leonard, Jim and I are worried that you appear to have disappeared. We do not understand how your state works but if you are able to could you please leave us a sign of any kind to let us know that you are still around?

*********

Please come back

*********

“He’s not going to reply, is he?” Jim asked Spock sadly, tears invading the corners of his eyes. Leonard tried not to look at the pair of them, curled up together on the bed, Jim clenching the PADD they had been using to communicate with him.

“Perhaps he just needs time,” Spock said calmly, stroking Jim’s hair as he held him, but Leonard could hear that the Vulcan didn’t really believe his own words.

“I want him to come back,” Jim said wearily, beginning to succumb to sleep. “I liked having a new friend.”

Spock didn’t say anything as he watched his partner drift off into an uneasy sleep. Leonard didn’t step any closer, hovering instead by the sofa furthest from the bedroom. But he still heard Spock’s quiet words.

“Leonard, please. We miss you.”

He shoved them into the cracks in his heart, to be ignored with all the other feelings.

Chapter Text

Just because Leonard had vowed to keep his distance didn’t mean that Jim and Spock made it easy to him. Jim had taken to commenting on his day out loud whenever it seemed he was alone. He’d speak about all manner of things, just randomly conversing with air (because Leonard refused to let himself answer even though it wouldn’t be heard). Spock began every day now with a “Good morning, Leonard” and finished every day with a “Goodnight, Leonard. We’ll speak tomorrow.” It was driving him mad. They were both so sure that he hadn’t really left and were going out of their way to prove that they weren’t going to just allow his silence.

He could see that it was taking a toll on them though. Jim didn’t smile so easily now, which everyone, including Nyota, had taken the time to comment on, asking if he was alright. He just replied every time with another forced smile and a quip about Vulcan stamina. But everyone could see that Spock was just as tired as the captain; they just didn’t feel right about approaching him. Except for Nyota.

Leonard was sitting in the lab watching Spock try to concentrate on the work he was to present to the admirals on their visit the next day, when Nyota entered, a determined look on her face.

“Alright, Spock, spill. What is going on with you and Jim?” she asked firmly, taking up position on Spock’s right, stance strong and arms crossed.

“I am not sure-”

“Don’t try to worm your way out of this. I’m still your friend Spock. I know you better than anyone bar Kirk. Now tell me. You’re both clearly upset about something. Did you two have a fight?” she asked, concerned.

“Jim and I are fine, Nyota. We are not fighting,” Spock assured her, gratitude in his voice at her care.

“Then what’s wrong?” Nyota pressed. “It’s not just me that’s worried about the pair of you, you know. I just happen to know how to get answers out of you.”

Leonard snorted against his will at that. Nyota was far too crafty at times; he had seen that during the prank war. Spock also seemed to appreciate her attitude and gave her a soft look that glinted with sadness. (Leonard ignored how that look pained him. It was easy enough to do now after so much practise.)

“Jim and I discovered the reason behind the glitches and how we were saved from the pirates.”

Nyota raised an eyebrow but otherwise didn’t interrupt, just letting Spock tell him whatever he wanted to.

“It would seem we have a guest aboard the Enterprise – a ghost. He was actually the reason Jim and I got together after the fight. He pushed us onto each other.” A slight blush covered Spock’s cheeks at these words which had Nyota smirking and Leonard wanting to reach out and stroke the green hue.

“Well, it was about time you two worked out your feelings for each other. I’m glad someone had the sense to knock it into you.”

“Indeed,” Spock said softly. Nyota frowned as the atmosphere dropped again.

“What’s happened with this ghost?”

“We managed to contact him. It is fascinating really. He can interact on a physical level with our plane but he cannot appear visually or audibly. So we left a message for him on a PADD and then he replied. We had begun an exchange when Leonard stopped replying.”

“Leonard?”

“That is his name. Leonard. It is a strong name, meaning ‘lion-hearted’. We believe it suits him; he is doctor. But before we could learn anything else, he stopped communicating with us. We are sure he is still around but for some reason he has decided to stop speaking. It is…frustrating. We were rather enjoying the company. I was hoping to have intellectually stimulating conversations about medicine.”

Leonard wrapped his arms hard around himself. He wanted to reach out, he wanted to reach out to Spock so badly. But he couldn’t. He had made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t, that he'd pull back from them. Getting close only hurt. (But it’s hurting them not to, whispered his traitorous heart. Can you really leave them like this?) He turned away, wanting to leave the room but Nyota’s reply drew him back around.

“Do you know how long he’s been a ghost?”

“I am sorry?” Spock asked, confusion clear in his voice and on his face.

“Well, it’s just a thought, but if he’s been a ghost for a long time he’s probably a bit out of touch with people.”

“He said that he was at the StarFleet hospital in San Francisco.”

“Yeah, but did he attempt to communicate with anyone there?”

“I…I do not know.”

“Did he start speaking with you easily?”

“No. He did seem to need coaxing to speak.”

“Well then, maybe he’s overwhelmed by the attention.”

Leonard couldn’t deny that his jaw was dropped as wide as possible. She’d just completely understood him without knowing much more than his name. That was actually rather scary. (He made a mental note to never let her know that he sabotaged her last date with Spock. He didn’t need her wanting revenge.)

Spock looked thoughtful for a moment then stood up quickly, making both Leonard and Nyota jump.

“Thank you, Nyota. I must go and tell Jim immediately,” and he swept out of the room.

“Glad I could help,” Nyota grinned, before leaving as well so it was just Leonard sitting there in shock. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen now, but he was positive that ignoring Jim and Spock was about to get a lot harder.

*********

Spock told Jim everything Nyota told him. Jim then proceeded to try and flush Leonard out. If Leonard could get headaches, it would have caused a massive one.

Jim seemed to think that the best way to get Leonard to come back was to do stupid things and hope that Leonard would save him. So he locked himself in rooms, threw himself off chairs, and started juggling phasors. It didn’t work. All that happened was that Jim got stuck at lot, Leonard laughed, and Spock changed the lock code on every weapons cache and didn’t let Jim have it despite being captain. That was just day one. Leonard almost gave in then just so that he didn’t have to go though anything worse. Luckily, the admirals’ visit was the next day and Jim would have no choice but to be on good behaviour.

As Leonard watched the crew get ready for the admirals to arrive, he couldn’t help a small smile at the sight of Jim and Spock. They weren’t in dress uniform, as the day was meant to be treated like a normal one, but they did look particularly smart. There was just something about the way they were standing. There was little trace of the childishness that often graced the Enterprise’s captain, and Spock was standing even straighter than usual. Leonard was suddenly plagued by the thought of blowing on him and seeing if he fell over because so much effort had been put into posture rather than balance. He manged to rein the impulse in though.

Admiral Pike was the first to step forward and greet Jim, shaking his hand with a grin. Leonard liked Pike. He’d only seen him through his calls but he clearly cared about Jim and believed in him. The other two admirals were James Kormack and Gretchen Lui. Admiral Lui seemed pleasant enough, shaking hands with both Jim and Spock easily. Admiral Kormack was clearly a dick. He reluctantly shook Jim’s hands but he merely nodded his head, and not in a friendly manner, at Spock. Jim looked like he wanted to say something about that but Spock discreetly squeezed his hand and suggested that they begin by touring the ship.

Leonard followed along silently, not paying much attention to what was being said as he knew all the nooks and crannies of the Enterprise. He did keep his eye on Kormack though. While Lui was eagerly asking questions about the crew's most recent missions, Kormack just glanced around contemptuously. Leonard decided that if the admiral did anything he didn’t approve of, he would retaliate, damn his vow to not get involved.

The tour ended without any incidents or words from Kormack so Leonard began to think that he would be keeping his presence hidden. (He didn’t like the twist in his stomach that suggested he was disappointed in that result.) Jim led them all into his Ready Room where they were to discuss some administration or something (Leonard really wasn’t listening.) when Kormack finally spoke up.

“This set up is all well and good, Kirk, but some of us have plenty of viable reservations about your crew.”

“My crew, admiral?” Jim asked, voice shaking slightly. Leonard pulled himself back quickly from running a calming hand across the blond’s shoulders. “My crew are the best in the fleet.”

“Maybe they are, and maybe they are not. It doesn’t change the fact that they are extremely young with a lot of responsibility on their shoulders.”

“They may be young, yes, but they can handle anything that’s thrown at them. They know their responsibilities and they have no problems with them. I haven’t heard a complaint from them or the admiralty. So I don’t understand what point you are trying to make.” Jim’s voice was deadly calm but his eyes were flashing angrily and Spock wasn’t much better, back ramrod straight and hands tightly clenched behind him.

“The point is, Kirk,” Kormack said spitefully, “that you are little more than children and we aren’t sure you can actually be trusted. Your ship seems to run into an awful lot of difficulties after all.”

“The percentage of difficulties the Enterprise encounters is within the quota for a vessel of this size on such a distanced exploration voyage,” Spock stated haughtily. “And though the crew is young, they are a collection of the highest scorers the academy has ever seen.”

“Their academy scores aren’t what we’re discussing,” Kormack hissed irately.

“But they are proof of the crew’s capability,” Jim threw in. “As are the number of successful missions we have completed.”

“There is still the question of the recklessness of this ship’s captaincy.”

“So it is not the crew you have a problem with, Admiral, but my position as leader of it,” Jim stated. Leonard could see that he was starting to get upset and Spock was beginning to vibrate from trying to hold himself back. Lui was watching the argument impassively while Pike, though clearly irritated by Kormack’s assumptions, merely gritted his teeth, letting Jim fight his own battle. Leonard made up his mind. Kormack was going on about Jim’s faults as a captain now and he could see that soon Jim would be visibly upset. Time for a distraction. (But what about- a tiny voice started in his head only to be swiftly silenced by his heart.)

Between one breath and another, Kormack went from sitting forward and insulting Jim to flailing on the floor as his chair tipped. There was a second of pure silence as everyone tried to figure out what happened, and then Pike was laughing and tugging Kormack up off the floor.

“You really shouldn’t lean back in your chair so far,” he joked.

“I didn’t,” Kormack hissed, angrily brushing himself down before righting his chair and sitting down again.

“Well how else do you suppose you fell? And you going to blame a ghost for shoving down the back of your chair?” Lui asked, a smile twitching at her lips. Jim and Spock exchanged a wide eyed glance then shifted back into professional mode.

“Admirals,” Jim began, “yes, I am a young captain, and so is my crew, but I would do anything for them and I believe they would do anything for me. If there is truly a belief that we are somehow incompetent I would like it brought up through the proper channels.”

“Don’t worry, Captain. There have been some discussions but I believe we have seen all we need to disregard any fears,” Admiral Lui said firmly. “Now, back to the business of your next missions.”

Leonard tuned himself out again but he couldn’t ignore how Spock kept glancing from the back of Kormack’s chair to the spot behind it where he was leaning against the wall. ‘Thank You’ the Vulcan mouthed and Leonard knew that, if it was possible, he’d be blushing. As it was, he simply looked away, despite knowing that Spock couldn’t actually see him.

Chapter Text

We can wait.

Leonard stared at the message, trying to ignore the phantom flutters in his heart. We can wait. They would wait. Jim and Spock would wait for him. He was sure he was going mad. Or maybe the message wasn’t meant for him. Maybe it was entirely unrelated to all the other messages that had been left on this PADD (for him). In which case his heart needed to get a grip. It couldn’t be for him. He was a ghost. No one was ever going to wait for him. He did the waiting.

And yet…

Leonard shoved all the positive, heart-clenching thoughts away. Logically speaking it made sense for the message to be for him. However, that didn’t mean that Jim and Spock would actually wait for him to be ready. Yes, they were stubborn and determined and both had seemed genuinely upset by his leaving. That didn’t mean they could be patient though. And hell, patient didn’t begin to cover the fact that Leonard refused to respond. Ever. So would Jim and Spock wait forever? No, they’d get bored or some new mystery would come along. But they might wait forever, a sly voice whispered, and then how would you feel about never having responded?

“Shut. Up,” Leonard hissed. His thoughts quietened but the words still nagged at him. What if Jim and Spock could wait?

There was no point worrying over it. Leonard would either give in or he wouldn’t. Right now he didn’t want to talk to either Jim or Spock. He just wanted to harmlessly watch them. His thoughts had been swirling too fast lately and the best way to relax was to enjoy the normal, everyday occurrences of life aboard the Enterprise for his two favourite people. Who were currently in the process of leaving for the bridge.

“Spock, have you seen my-” Jim started to ask only to be interrupted by Spock placing his gold over shirt in his hands.

“Thanks,” he said with a sheepish grin.

“It is my pleasure,” Spock replied, brushing their hands together briefly, making Jim’s grin morph into a love-struck smile. Jim pulled Spock’s hands back towards him and ran his lips across the knuckles in a gentle kiss. A light blush brightened Spock’s cheeks but didn’t stop his mouth twitching into a smile. Leonard smiled along with them, soaking in the love they had for each other.

“We should go now or we will be late,” Spock stated.

“A captain is never late, Spock,” Jim teased, stepping close and pulling Spock into a passionate kiss. The Vulcan didn’t even try and resist.

Leonard loved watching them show their affection for each other. It warmed every inch of him and was always a loving show, whether tender or amorous. They also looked absolutely beautiful together, in Leonard’s humble opinion.

“Now we will be late,” Spock said, pulling away and causing Jim to whine.

“Spoilsport,” Jim said fondly. He followed Spock towards the door but threw a look back at the PADD left sitting on the bedside table. Spock followed his gaze and carefully took his hand.

“Leonard will respond when he is ready. He knows we are waiting for him and will not be going anywhere. Give him time.”

“Yeah, I know. I just…”

“I understand. Now come. A captain may not ever be late, but he certainly can fail to be on time.”

Leonard listened cheerfully to their banter as they headed to the bridge. Jim and Spock may know of his presence but at least they never suspected him of being around them constantly. He definitely didn’t want them to know how closely he watched them. Or that their private moments often included him. (Though I wouldn’t put it past Jim to be a bit of an exhibitionist.)

*********

“So, Leonard turn up yet?” Nyota asked as she wandered into Spock’s lab. Spock didn’t jump, just merely raised an eyebrow, but Leonard would probably have hit his head on the wall behind him if he hadn’t been boredly phasing his hands through the objects on the desk. He scowled playfully at Nyota as she sat primly on the stool next to Spock’s work station. Nyota smiled at Spock’s eyebrow and simply repeated her question.

“We have not heard from him yet but I am sure that, when he is ready, he’ll communicate.”

“So why have you still not told anyone else about him? In fact, you only told me because I made you.” Leonard sat up straight at this question. He had wondered the same but he didn’t mind being Spock and Jim’s secret. It actually felt rather nice, like he was special to them.

“Until Leonard gives his permission for his identity to be revealed, then we shall not divulge it. So I ask you to keep this between us. First Leonard must be comfortable conversing freely with us before the crew starts attempting to gain his attention.”

“Ahhh, that makes sense. Though it does sound rather possessive, you and Jim wanting to keep him to yourselves,” Nyota teased.

“It is not meant to come across as such,” Spock said turning back to his work, but Leonard could see the faintest of green tinging his ears. He also noted that Spock hadn’t exactly denied Nyota’s suggestion that he and Jim wanted to keep him to themselves. It made him feel slightly giddy. He was probably imagining things but it felt good all the same. He’d go back to being broody and depressive when the faint blush left Spock’s features.

*********

One of the places he couldn’t follow Jim and Spock was on away missions. He didn’t trust the transporter with their solid lives so he had no wish to see what, if anything, happened if he stood in the way of the beam. He had considered accompanying them to one of the planets they took the shuttles too but just one too many of those missions had ended with emergency beam ups so he didn’t really want to risk being stuck on some alien world. Instead he sat on the captain’s chair on the bridge, keeping an eye on the monitor holding their life signs, and waiting for any calls they made back to the ship. He missed them every time but there was nothing he could do.

This time the away team would be staying planet side for the night due to some celebrations they were going to take part in so Leonard retired to Spock’s quarters after the evening check-in.

He loved Spock’s quarters just that little bit more than Jim’s. While the captain’s rooms were definitely more homely, Spock’s were constantly warm, reminding him of Georgian summers spent in sun-drenched fields, and smelled of the Vulcan incense he burned during meditation. Leonard eagerly curled up on the bed, not bothering to get under the covers. He couldn’t sleep anymore but he could relax and drift away in daydreams and memories. Tonight he chose memories, the warmth and smell of the room guiding him back to his childhood home.

He drifted through his favourite memories, specifically the ones of summer barbeques and festivals. He was so lost in the past that it took him a while to realise that the voices around him weren’t in his head but in the present. He lifted his head dazedly to see Jim and Spock standing in the main room, discussing something they had placed on the main table. He stood and walked over to see that the ‘thing’ was in fact an odd rock. It was about a foot high, porous (or so Leonard guessed from the amount of holes in it) and a dark greeny-purple colour. Al in all, Leonard had seen more attractive rocks.

“So this is supposed to ‘free our spirits’?” Jim asked, looking dubiously at the rock.

“Actually, the Elder said that “it would bring our spirits into view”. It does give off an odd energy signature which I am looking forward to analysing.”

“Right. But that can wait until to tomorrow, can’t it?” Jim asked, wrapping his hands around Spock’s waist. “I would like you to join me in bed.”

“I would never refuse such a request,” Spock said softly, bringing his lips down onto Jim’s.

Leonard watched them his perch on the bedside table, smiling happily and easily restraining the need to touch because he was just pleased to have them back beside him. Not until they had finished and were sleeping peacefully in each other’s arms did he move to examine the rock. (Though he placed a kiss upon each of their heads first.)

The rock may have been giving off energy according to Spock but it just looked like an ugly rock to Leonard.

“‘Spirits into view’, huh? Well let’s see,” he said, and touched the rock.

Nothing happened. No flash of light, no eerie noise, nothing. Leonard moved into the bathroom to check the mirror. Still no reflection.

“Well that was anticlimactic,” he said irritably. “You’re just a dumb rock, aren’t you?” He glared at the rock. Still nothing happened. He sighed. He was being silly. What had he expected to happen?

A soft noise from the bedroom drew him back to Jim and Spock. He smiled down at them, instantly content. Maybe isolating himself from them wasn’t for the best. He snorted then moved into Jim’s room to collect the PADD before settling on the end of the bed that held the two most important people to him. Now to decide what to say to them.

Chapter Text

When Spock got up he assumed that Jim (or even Leonard, which would have been wonderful) had moved the rock from the main room into the bedroom when he saw, out of the corner of his eye, something perched on the bedside table. However, upon seeing the gift still sitting on the table where they had left it the night before, he paused. There had definitely been something on the bedside table. He turned to check and actually jumped slightly, though he didn’t make a noise.

Sitting on the bedside table of his room was a man. A rather attractive man, the human part of Spock’s brain pointed out as he ran his eyes over the artfully scruffy brown hair and strong build. Standing, he’d probably be around the same height as Jim. Of course, what he looked like did not really matter. How he had gotten in here did. Spock was about to ask when he realised that he could not sense the presence of anyone but Jim in the room with him. He cocked his head, studying the man. He was perched on the table with his legs crossed underneath him, and he was tapping away at the PADD they had left there for…

Leonard.

They had left the PADD for Leonard to talk to them and here was an unknown man using it, who Spock could not sense and had not raised any alarms by entering their room. Logic dictated that this could only be one man. Well, one ghost anyway.

Spock was not sure what to do now. Should he call out, finally able to communicate with their wayward new friend, or should he simply take the time to watch and observe as Leonard must have done with them? Before he could decide on a course of action, Jim stirred faintly, a frown crossing his face. Spock stepped forward to calm him but was instead met with the sight of Leonard reaching over to run his hand over Jim’s cheek. Spock could see that Leonard was saying something, most likely soothing words from the gentleness of his touch, but Spock himself could not hear them and he knew that it had nothing to do with distance. With his Vulcan hearing he should have been able to pick up anything said with so little distance from him but he couldn’t. It was easy to come to the conclusion that, though Leonard now appeared to be visible (at least to Spock), their ghost could not converse audibly with them.

So Spock decided on the course of action. He moved swiftly through his morning routine, returning from the bathroom to see Leonard had moved to sit on the edge of the bed and that Jim was now rousing. His captain’s eyes widened as they caught sight of Leonard and then jumped quickly to Spock. Jim opened his mouth, clearly to comment on what was going on but Spock was quick to silence him with a quick shake of his head and a finger to his lips. Luckily Leonard had his head back and his eyes closed so did not see the exchange. Jim frowned but did not speak, trusting his partner. Spock tipped his head towards the PADD sitting back in its place on the table. Jim’s eyes widened even further this time and his head spun from the tablet to Leonard and back again at high speed.

“Jim,” Spock said, catching the blond’s eyes and also noticing that he now had Leonard’s attention as well. Their ghost was smiling at him, and Spock had to work not to look directly at him and return it as it was just so full of warmth.

“You need to get ready. A captain is never late after all.”

He got a laugh from both members of his audience (though Leonard’s was silent) and Jim jumped out of bed and pulled him into a hug, whispering as softly as possible into his ear “I assume we’re just going to watch him for now?”

Spock, seeing that they had Leonard’s complete attention, hid his face in Jim’s neck to answer.

“Yes. He has had his chance to observe; now it is ours. I also noted earlier that we cannot hear him. He soothed you back to sleep but I could not hear a single word he said.”

He felt Jim tighten his grip on him and so pulled him closer. Jim had been so excited by the idea of just getting a reply from their ghost that to know they could not truly speak would be devastating. And Spock could not say that he felt nothing at this discovery either.

“Come on. We will be late by 1.89 minutes at this rate,” he said normally, steeping out of the embrace.

“Of course. Wouldn’t want to be late by less than two minutes now, would we?” Jim teased, getting his emotions together and moving into the bathroom. Spock stepped over to their drawers to pull out their clothes and could not help but pause. In his peripheral vision he could see that Leonard was still watching him, resting back on his hands and smirking now. Spock felt his skin grow warm and took a calming breath so as not to blush. He may not be used to anyone but Jim (and in the past, Nyota) watching him undress but it appeared that that was not actually the case. Leonard was watching him far too closely, and that smirk…Leonard had seen him undress before. In fact…Spock cut the thought off. He did not want to know just how much Leonard had watched him and Jim. At least not yet.

*********

Spock carefully picked up the rock and carried it to the lab, Leonard right by his side. Though Vulcan’s were known for their excellent control, Spock was finding it difficult to not turn his head and look at his companion. Especially as Leonard was clearly but silently speaking beside him. It caused an odd ache in Spock’s chest to know that, despite knowing he could not be heard, Leonard still spoke to him as if he could reply. Spock wanted, truly wanted, to just turn to Leonard and say…anything. Anything that would reassure him that though he could not be heard he could be seen now and that Spock craved to know what he was saying so that he could reply.

But it was not time for that. Leonard had finally decided that he felt comfortable to leave them messages on the PADD again, to tell him that he could be seen may just make him hide again. They did not even know what had brought about this change, though Spock was certain that the rock he and Jim had been gifted was involved which was why he was on his way to his lab to study it. And Leonard had obviously decided to join him. Spock mused that because he was a medical man, he must have some scientific interest, and wondered just how often Leonard had followed him to his lab and watched him run his experiments, making comments and asking questions that he knew would not be heard.

He started by running the scanner all over the rock, retaking the energy readings and trying to find a match for them anywhere in the database. He could not find a direct match but a crystal from Saol had a similar reading and was used in healing rituals by the planet’s inhabitants.

He got so lost in his research that he almost forgot that Leonard was in the room, which sent another ache through him every time he remembered his companion and caught sight of him out of the corner of his eye. Leonard was intensely watching him work, seemingly fascinated by what he was doing. Occasionally, his mouth moved, and Spock wished that he could hear him (despite Vulcan’s not believing in wishes). It would be nice to have someone who he could run his work past; who was intellectually stimulated by the same things. Jim was a genius is his own right, but, while he found many of science’s finds interesting, he did not care so much for the work that went on behind the find. Scientific research, of various areas, was Spock’s hobby, not Jim’s. And it appeared to be something Leonard was interested in as well. If only they could speak aloud to each other. Maybe, if the rock had truly brought about Leonard’s new visibility, it could help him figure out a way for them to communicate audibly. Spock would have to wait until Leonard was not watching him to begin such research. There was no need to encourage any false hope and possibly lose him again.

*********

Playing chess that night, both Spock and Jim were clearly trying hard not look at the man sitting on the arm of the sofa next to Jim. The blond was in fact being unnaturally still, making Spock worried, and he could see that Leonard was frowning at Jim in concern.

“Jim,” he called, pulling Jim’s attention from the board. “Are you well?”

“I’m fine. Just tired,” he said with a smile, understanding what Spock was really asking and beginning to relax, taking Spock’s free hand in his own and running his fingers over it. Spock could see over Jim’s shoulder Leonard smiling affectionately at them and he wanted to blush again. Jim’s trailing fingers were not helping either.

“Jim,” he repeated, warningly this time, but the blond just grinned mischievously.

“Is there a problem?” he asked innocently, picking up Spock’s hand and kissing the back of it.

Spock raised an eyebrow at him, noting that Leonard was laughing again. He laughed beautifully for all that it was silent, he could not help but think, and this time he had no control over his blushing skin. Jim’s grin turned less innocent and Leonard’s hazel eyes sparkled behind him.

Spock took a breath. To refuse Jim would raise suspicion in Leonard that something was wrong, for he never refused Jim and he was certain that Leonard knew that. But to say yes…and then in front of Leonard…

Jim wanted to.

Yes, Jim clearly did want to and had seemingly no issue with Leonard watching. And Leonard…well. From that smirk this morning he knew that their ghost had watched them more than they had believed so it was highly likely that he had already seen…

Spock was rather disturbed by the thrill that ran through him at the thought that Leonard had been watching him and Jim be intimate. That was something private. Yet he had not told Nyota that he and Jim were not keeping Leonard to themselves out of possessiveness. Had that feeling of not wanting the crew to know really been possessiveness? He did not know now. Why would they – why would he – feel possessive of Leonard? Yes, he had brought him and Jim together romantically, and he had protected them, and he had spoken to them in the only way he could but what did they really know of him?

That he knows us.

“Spock?”

He looked up at Jim’s worried tone and saw Leonard’s worried eyes as well. He made his decision.

“Take me to bed, Jim.”

*********

Lying entangled with Jim afterwards, eyes half closed with sleep, he noticed Leonard moving to sit at the end of their bed. He could not hear what he was saying, though he wanted to desperately. He tried to focus on the shape of Leonard’s mouth to figure out the words but all he could make out before sleep claimed him was “love”.

Chapter Text

Jim woke up to find a very attractive bed partner. The problem was that this man wasn’t actually his partner. Very attractive? Yes. The one he was in love with? No. So what on earth was he doing sitting on the end of his bed and where the hell was Spock?

Movement from the main room made him look over and he saw Spock, standing there calmly with apparent indifference at the fact that some random man was pretty much reclining on their bed. He opened his mouth, ready to demand answers when Spock shushed him. Shushed him. Spock didn’t shush him – he didn’t shush anyone; he was a Vulcan. They just didn’t shush people. And yet, his partner had. Deciding to trust Spock (for now at least; he’d possible check later for alien involvement) he tried to convey with his eyes a need to know what was going on. Spock indicated with his head towards the bedside table. Jim looked but all that was there was the PADD. The PADD used for Leonard that now appeared to be covered in text. Jim was certain that his eyes were wide open as he spun his head from the PADD to the man on the bed and back again.

Leonard.

This was Leonard. Their ghost had finally decided to come back to them and had somehow made himself visible along the way. Jim was pretty sure he was about to stop breathing from the shock.

“Jim.”

Jim looked over at Spock and saw Leonard do the same from the corner of his eye, smiling as he watched Spock intently.

“You need to get ready. A captain is never late after all.”

He couldn’t help but let out a laugh, not just at their shared joke but also at the complete happiness he felt running through him. He jumped up and threw his arms around Spock, knowing that his emotions were leaking through to his boyfriend but not caring. (He had no doubt that Spock shared his feelings on this matter.) Spock could see Leonard but had made no mention of him so Jim could guess his plan.

“I assume we’re just going to watch him for now?” he whispered as softly as possible into Spock’s ear, not wanting Leonard to hear them. He felt as Spock dropped his head into his neck to try and hide his reply but at the words he felt his heart drop.

“Yes. He has had his chance to observe; now it is ours. I also noted earlier that we cannot hear him. He soothed you back to sleep but I could not hear a single word he said.”

Jim tightened his grip on Spock and tried to rein in his dismay, barely noticing Spock pulling him closer in comfort. He had been so intrigued by their new ghostly friend and had then been so worried when he disappeared that just having the words on the PADD, whatever they may be, was incredible. But to be able to see Leonard and yet not actually speak with him…It was heart-wrenching. They were so close to him now but Jim wondered if maybe this would actually be worse than only having words on a tablet. So close but so far.

“Come on. We will be late by 1.89 minutes at this rate,” Spock was saying as he pulled from the embrace. Jim took a deep breath and pulled himself together, saying “Of course. Wouldn’t want to be late by less than two minutes now, would we?” as he moved into the bathroom. Once inside he took a moment to steady his heart rate and push all negative thoughts away. They didn’t know how long they’d be able to see Leonard so it was best to just enjoy it.

He came back into the room to see Spock hesitantly taking their clothes out of the drawers. He wondered what was wrong then saw the smirk on Leonard’s face. Oh. It seemed that Leonard had seen more of them than they’d thought. He felt his own mouth sliding into a smirk at the tightness of Spock’s shoulders. It seemed that he was a bit taken aback by Leonard’s interest. Now, should he put Spock at ease by just changing as if it was no big deal or should he deliberately tease? He had a feeling their ghost wouldn’t mind either way. Deciding not to think about his feelings about that until later, Jim stepped up to Spock and tugged his clothes out of his arms, not dropping his smirk. Spock gave him a knowing, unimpressed look but that didn’t stop Jim. He simply put his clothes on the edge of the bed and began to strip slowly and, admittedly, rather showily. The tips of Spock’s began to darken and he could see his eyes glance quickly at Leonard. Jim took a quick peek as well under the guise of reaching for his underwear to see that Leonard was completely focused on him. Jim looked back at Spock, wondering if he was upset by someone else looking at him but all of Spock’s attention was on Leonard. Jim gave another smirk. No, Spock didn’t mind at all. Which was very interesting.

*********

Jim tried to be like Spock and keep his focus while on the bridge but the fact that no one else could see Leonard was plaguing him. When the three of them had entered the bridge there were all the normal greetings for Jim and Spock but no one had made any comment about the man with them. That seemed to verify Spock’s belief (which he’d quickly murmured to Jim while Leonard’s attention had been elsewhere) that the rock they had received on the last planet was the cause of this change; he and Spock (and they were guessing Leonard) had been the only ones to touch it and thus were the only ones affected. Jim had wondered why Leonard didn’t actually know he was now visible but Spock had logically explained that the change must have taken place while they slept and thus Leonard would’ve had no way to check his new visibility. They had also not been awoken by anything so it was safe to assume that if Leonard had touched the rock it had done nothing spectacular to signify a change of any kind. There was also the possibility that Leonard hadn’t even touched the rock but the effect had come about through proximity.

Shaking his head, he cleared his thoughts of the technicalities. Spock was going to take the rock to the lab after shift and try to figure it all out. He didn’t need to worry about anything but running his ship and watching Leonard secretly. And watch he did.

Leonard, upon entering the bridge, had gone around all of the stations, silently saying something to Sulu, Chekov, and even Uhura. Jim had been momentarily surprised then realised that it made sense that Leonard would have gotten to know the other crew members as well, though he couldn’t help but hope he wasn’t as close to any of the others. (Yes, he knew that that sounded possessive but he didn’t really care. Leonard had come to him and Spock. He was their ghost. It was simple as that.)

He made his own way around his crew, checking up on everyone and even managing to get a smile out of Uhura. (She still wouldn’t let him use her first name, despite her knowing about Leonard and their problems with him. She’d probably end up being the first they’d tell about Leonard’s appearance, but not until he was ready of course.) He turned to take his seat and saw Leonard already sat in it. Now what did he do? It would look weird if he didn’t take his seat but he didn’t want to just sit through Leonard – that would be rude! Luckily, it seemed he didn’t need to worry. Leonard had noticed him stepping over to his chair and had gotten up. Jim took his seat, trying not to react as he noticed Leonard out of the corner of his eye coming to rest across the back of his chair. This shift was going to be torture.

*********

After kissing Spock goodbye as he headed for the lab, Leonard in tow, Jim decided to go back to his room and look at what Leonard had actually written on the PADD for them. He was immensely curious. After being gone so long what could have driven Leonard to speak to them again? And was he going to continue talking (in the only way he could) to them or would he leave again? Because if it was the latter, Jim would be making damn sure that he knew that he was now visible and that Jim would chase him all over the Enterprise if he tried to disappear from their lives once more.

He was positively shaking when he finally reached the room. He grabbed the PADD and collapsed down onto the bed, snuggling back into the cushions.

Jim and Spock

I’m sorry.

I didn’t realise that my leaving would upset you so much. I was scared. I have been alone for a long long time and to finally talk to someone, to talk to you, was just overwhelming.

I have been watching the two of you for some time now so to actually be included in your lives…

I never expected it.

I thought I would always just be a silent, non-existent presence.

But I realise now that I don’t have to be. I don’t have to be alone. I can trust you. Both of you.

I do trust you both.

So I'm here. For good now. I won’t leave again. I don’t think I could.

You’re both too fascinating to watch after all.

And I don’t want to be alone again.

I’m sorry I worried you both.

(Don’t worry Spock, I won’t tell anyone that Vulcan’s can get worried.)

Speak to you soon.

Leonard.

P.S. I don’t have a problem with the nickname, Jim. I’ve never had one before so it’s sweet of you to give me one.

Jim stared at the PADD, not noticing the tears dripping onto it. Leonard was really back. And he wanted Jim to call him Bones. It was settled then. Tomorrow they’d let Leonard – Bones – know they could see him now. They weren’t going to let him be alone ever again and he knew that Spock would agree with him. Leonard trusted them and he needed them, and Jim knew that they needed him too now. Leonard had gotten them together because he knew them and he knew they wanted and needed each other. He knew them and they were going to get to know him.

Wiping away the now drying tears, he settled back on the bed waiting for Spock and Bones to come back. (There was no way he was ever going to stop calling him that now that he had permission.) Another thought entered his head; one that he’d pushed away earlier and now had time to think about: He had practically performed a strip tease for Spock and Leonard.

He would have done it for Spock, had done it for Spock, but he had known Leonard was there and he knew that was the reason he had done it. He could have gotten dressed normally but he had purposely teased for Spock and Bones. That wasn’t right, was it? Not that his boyfriend had seemed to mind, paying more attention to their ghost’s expressions than actually watching Jim. And Spock’s expressions hadn’t given any indication of anger, jealousy or disgust, all of which would have been perfectly natural. Jim knew that he was bit of an exhibitionist (okay, more than a bit) but he would never want to make his partner uncomfortable. He loved Spock. And yet it had been thrilling to know that Leonard was really there and that he had his attention. And Spock really hadn’t minded.

*********

“I’m fine. Just tired,” he reassured Spock, truly relaxing for the first time that night. He began running his fingers affectionately over Spock’s, not really noticing what he was doing until Spock called him up on it. Thinking back to his earlier thoughts, a mischievous grin took over.

“Is there a problem?” he asked innocently, picking up Spock’s hand and kissing the back of it. Spock raised an eyebrow in return but didn’t comment. He seemed to be thinking quite hard and Jim wondered if he had pushed too far. There was no guarantee that Bones would actually watch them have sex but if Spock was really that upset by the thought of it it didn’t have to happen. Jim would never pressure him and he wasn’t even sure why he wanted to be so intimate in front of Bones. He supposed it had something to do with his promise to never let him feel alone. Though having sex knowingly in front of him when he didn’t even known he could be seen? Jim wasn’t sure how that actually worked but…oh well.

“Spock?” he asked worriedly, squeezing his fingers.

Spock looked up with darkened eyes and Jim knew his answer before he even spoke. He felt a shiver run through him at the words though and a part of his brain wanted to turn and look at Bones, to make him realise that he was included.

“Take me to bed, Jim.”

Chapter Text

*********

The morning found Leonard watching Jim laze around in bed while Spock got ready. To make sure the crew didn’t go stir crazy, there were mandatory rest days and this was the one that Jim and Spock had been assigned to. Not that Jim had managed to keep Spock in bed. The Vulcan had woken up as usual and gotten straight on with his routine, despite Jim’s protests and pleas. So Spock went in the bathroom, Jim lay in bed, and Leonard sat on the end of the bed where he could see both Jim and the bathroom door.

With a loud sigh (that Leonard knew was false) Jim sat up. Leonard, who had been watching him, looked away as their eyes caught. Because their eyes hadn't really caught; Jim was just staring into space and Leonard was in the way. He didn’t like it when people looked through him, especially when it was Jim or Spock. It made him feel as if he wasn’t there, and that was not a nice feeling. In fact, he might just get up and move.

“Hey, Bones?”

His head shot round. Jim was still looking directly at him. Now he was unnerved, though he knew it was just coincidence that Jim was looking at him. But it still left him unsettled so he prepared to stand up and listen to Jim from somewhere else when the blond spoke again.

“Please keep looking at me, Bones. I’ve waited so long to be able to look you in the eye. And they’re very pretty eyes. So don’t turn away.”

Leonard had to take a deep breath before he turned back round to look at Jim. The blond had crept slightly closer and was staring right at his face. When their eyes caught once more, Jim gave off one of his brightest smiles.

“Hi Bones.”

(Leonard will admit that at this point he panicked.)

Leonard jumped off the bed, backing up and away from Jim, shaking his head as he went.

“No no no. No! No, you can’t see me! What on earth are you going on about? This isn’t happening! Why?! Why would you say that to me? And how?! How could you even see me? I’m a ghost, god dammit! You can’t see me!”

“Leonard?”

He spun around. Spock was standing behind him now, arm reaching out and a concerned look on his face. He wanted to run. He wanted to run as far away as possible because it just couldn’t be true. They couldn’t see him. It was just an impossible dream.

“Leonard, please calm down. It is alright. It is alright,” Spock was saying soothingly and Leonard let him back him up towards the bed.

“Shhh, Bones, shhh. We’re here. We can see you.”

Leonard sat back on the bed, Jim on his left and Spock before him, and sunk his head into his hands.

“How? Tell me how?”

No answer came to his question so he looked up and repeated it, his voice hardened.

“We can’t hear you, Bones. I’m so sorry. We can’t hear you.”

The words barely registered for Leonard but Jim’s face did. He looked so sad and ashamed, as if it was his fault that they couldn’t hear a word he said. Leonard looked towards Spock and saw that the Vulcan too was not happy that they could not communicate.

Leonard smiled and reached out, focusing on taking both of their hands. Jim and Spock were surprised by the touch, Spock’s gaze fixed on where they’re hands met while Jim looked back forth between their hands and Leonard’s face.

“Bones…I knew we’d felt you before but…this is…” Jim’s face told him everything that the words were failing to convey.

“I know,” he said, nodding his head because he knew now that his words were nothing to them spoken. Jim seemed to understand what he meant all the same, going by the intensity of his smile. Leonard turned to Spock to see the Vulcan looking contemplative and somewhat upset still. Leonard squeezed his hand, trying to get his attention. Spock looked up, and though his face settled back into his emotionless mask, his words were full.

“I cannot sense you. I thought that was the case before but actually knowing…I cannot sense you.”

“Because I'm not here, I guess. I’m only half real,” Leonard tried to explain but Spock just gave the tiniest frown and squeezed back.

“This isn’t going to work. Give me the PADD,” Leonard said, gesturing at the tablet on the table. Understanding what he intended to do, Spock picked it up and handed it over but both of them were clearly trying to grip his hand as tight as possible, afraid to let go. Leonard gave them both a smile of reassurance and their hands a squeeze, before releasing them both and taking the PADD. Spock settled down on the bed beside Jim and they both leaned forward so that they could see what he was doing.

Hi

Jim and Spock smiled (and god did Leonard love that he had managed to work a smile out of the Vulcan).

“Hello,” they replied and Leonard couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of what they were doing. He stopped when he saw Jim and Spock seemingly enraptured and frowned at them in a way that asked ‘What?’

“Your laugh is beautiful,” Spock said, then blushed from the tips of his ears down to his cheeks.

You can’t even hear it.

“No, but we can imagine that it must be,” Jim replied, still staring at him with awestruck eyes. “We’d love to be able to hear it.”

“But we understand that we cannot,” Spock added before Leonard could become upset that he couldn’t give them what they wanted. “If this is all we can have then we will take it.”

Now Leonard wanted to blush (and was glad he couldn’t) and he knew that he was smiling ridiculously.

How is this even possible? I never hoped…

Just tell me how.

“The rock that we were given,” Spock explained “is what we believe to be the cause. Did you by any chance touch it?”

Leonard nodded. He hadn't thought it had one anything but clearly he had been wrong. However, he touched it the day before yesterday. Glaring slightly he asked:

How long have you been able to see me?

Jim and Spock had the good grace to look sheepish but it wasn’t exactly apologetic. They obviously had taken their own time to observe him like he had with them. Glare softening, Leonard realised that he couldn’t blame them or even be mad really. He had spent so much time just watching and learning about them, of course they would want to do the same. And it had only been one day that they’d left him in the dark. He was momentarily surprised that he hadn't noticed them acting differently but then realised that they must have agreed to act as natural as possible to not make him suspicious. However, there had been a fair amount of ‘natural’, especially last night. His glare came back full force then changed into a horrified expression. Spock and Jim were quick to notice.

“Leonard? What is wrong?”

“Bones, whatever you’ve just thought of, tell us and let us help, okay? Please relax.”

You knew I was there yesterday. You knew and yet you didn’t ask me to leave while you had sex.

Though Leonard was horror-struck by the thought that Jim and Spock knew he watched them at their most intimate and was terrified that they’d tell him to leave them, he did notice that their expressions weren’t innocent. Or disgusted. Which just downright confused him.

Spock was blushing so much that even his hands had taken on a particularly green tinge while Jim managed to look both smug and guilty. (Leonard really didn’t understand how he manged to do that and was very keen never to find out.)

“Bones,” Jim started soothingly, and Leonard fixed his stare on him. Jim looked slightly more guilty now but Leonard knew him well. He could see the smug glint in his ridiculously pretty blue eyes.

“Yes, Bones, we did know you were there. And we didn’t care.” Leonard frowned but it was Spock that continued to explain. (And wasn’t that a shock and a half.)

“We wanted to. We knew you were there and we wanted to be close to you. It may seem an illogical way to do so but Jim is highly illogical – “HEY!” – and I found myself fascinated by the thought of you being so close to us. It was also obvious that you had watched before so there seemed no harm now that we all knew and agreed it was what we wanted.”

Leonard was really really glad that he couldn’t blush. Of course Spock had worked out (with probably just one look) that Leonard had watched them together before. But knowing that they knew and that they weren’t disgusted but were in fact ‘fascinated’ was…he didn’t have the words to describe how he felt. He thought he might actually cry, screw being a ghost.

“Bones? Is this all okay?” Jim asked worriedly, moving to take his hand again. Leonard allowed the touch and smiled brightly.

This couldn’t be more okay.

Chapter Text

They sat in silence for a while, just enjoying each other’s presence, their hands locked. Leonard had always wanted this moment but he had never thought he would actually get it. Now that he had…he didn’t want to let go. Jim and Spock were feeling the same way. They hadn't been waiting for this as long as Leonard had but it was still something they had come to crave. Of course, they weren’t as sure of their reasons as Leonard was, but now that they could all speak and be together, Jim and Spock were sure they would figure it out – with Leonard’s help obviously.

“Bones…”

Leonard looked at Jim, nodding at him to continue speaking. Jim looked hesitant and Spock mirrored Leonard’s worried look.

“Jim? What is it you wish to speak of?” Spock asked for Leonard, who squeezed his hand in gratitude. It left Leonard feeling warm that Spock was already beginning to read him.

“Will you tell us about your life?”

Leonard let go of their hands in shock, his mouth gaping open. Jim, seeing this, quickly backtracked.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to I shouldn’t of asked god that was really bad I shouldn’t have I'm so sorry you don’t have to I just thought maybe…maybe you’d want to tell us. But it’s totally understandable that you wouldn’t I shouldn’t of asked just forget I said anything. Honestly Bones, just forget it, okay.”

While Jim rambled on, Leonard took a deep breath and genuinely thought about the question. Why was he scared of telling Jim and Spock? What was he scared of? His life was so far in the past that no part of it could ever touch him. And it wasn’t like he lived a bad life. Except for…could he tell them that? Or would it make them view him completely differently?

Leonard took another breath. (Though he didn’t actually need to, it was a human habit that he hadn't bothered to ever break.) It was risk, but so revealing himself had been, and talking to these two magnificent yet crazy men, and accepting that they could see him and weren’t disgusted at how close he had gotten to them. (Of course, they didn’t actually know about his feelings for them but there was no way Leonard was bringing that up. Ever.)

He reached back out for Jim’s hand and his squeeze finally got the man to stop talking.

“Bones?”

Leonard smiled at them both and got up from the bed, Jim and Spock watching him carefully. He dug around in the drawers, pulling out a PADD he had stashed there. He came back to the bed and presented it to them. Spock took it and Jim moved closer so that they could both see the screen.

Jim and Spock

At one point you will ask to know my story. My life. I thought it would be quicker to have it ready for such an occasion.

I trust you both with it. So here it is.

The story of Leonard Horatio McCoy’s life.

*********

Leonard was seven when he decided that he was going to be a doctor just like his dad. During the summer he’d often end up following David McCoy to his little practise, sitting by the reception desk and playing with the kids that got brought in. The summer of his seventh year was what really changed things though.

A minivan had crashed just down the road from the surgery, and one of the passengers, a young woman, was critically injured. Unfortunately, due to an even worse accident, no ambulance would be getting there any time soon. So the young woman was brought to David McCoy. Little Leonard had watched in awe as his daddy started barking orders and took complete control of the situation. By the time the ambulance finally got there, the woman was no longer in critical condition and was halfway to being healed despite the lack of hospital equipment. Leonard was so proud of his dad and the work he’d done that he decided then and there that he was going to be a great doctor just like him. When David was informed he simply smiled, ruffled his son’s hair and passed him one of the many medical texts that were kept in the house with a soft “Then you’d better get studying.”

From then on, Leonard McCoy was never seen without some sort of medical text on his person.

He pushed himself to get the best grades he could every year, excelling in his biology, anatomy and chemistry classes. (He was also a rather talented pianist but he refused to play for anyone but his mamma, saying it was just a hobby of his that he used when he needed to relax his brain.)

His parents were both so proud of him when he was accepted to study at the University of Mississippi, and though he’d miss them both he couldn’t wait to get closer to his dream.

The only area he really struggled in was making friends. He was so focused on being a doctor that he tended to ignore people around him when they showed signs of not being as dedicated as he was. He wasn’t completely unsocial; his roommate, an okay guy called Matthew, occasionally dragged Leonard out when he got fed up with all the studying and thought he needed to get laid. And while Leonard wasn’t big on casual sex, he was too busy for a relationship and understood that he did occasionally need something…more substantial. So he put his southern charm and good looks to use and was never left disappointed. Everyone loved a skilled hand.

Only one person was persistent in getting him to really consider a relationship. Jocelyn Darnell was a pretty law student who knew exactly what she wanted and more often than not got it. Leonard enjoyed the sex and even the conversation most of the time, but she was just a bit too needy and controlling for him to really be interested. Plus he had a lot of work to do so that he could start helping out his aging dad at the practise. But Jocelyn was insistent. He dated her for about a month until her brother arrived on a visit and Leonard discovered that he found him much more attractive. So he ended things very firmly with Jocelyn, shared one publicly indecent (if they’d been in public that is) kiss with the younger brother, and then went home for Christmas.

Life continued to be simple. He became a doctor, he moved back home, and he took over the practise and let his dad retire. He worked hard, he got to know everyone’s name and allergies, and every month he’d take one weekend off and head into Atlanta. He still didn’t really have any friends except Matthew, who had decided to follow him out of city life, and Ashely, who had met Matthew in the second year of University and then never left forcing Leonard to befriend her, but that was enough for him. He didn’t need more. His life was good. He shouldn’t have expected it to last.

He was 28 when Noah Aldridge swanned into his life with a gunshot wound to the thigh. Leonard, being the doctor he was, stitched him up, complaining all the while but knowing better than to ask how the dark man came about the injury. Several times his dad had gone out in the middle of the night to patch people up but it wasn’t until Leonard returned home, the ink on his license metaphorically still wet, that the situation was explained. His dad had, in his own last year of med school, unwittingly saved the life of a Marcus Aldridge, who, while not being on the same level as, say, the mafia, did have a rather more organised unit than a simple gang. Marcus had decided that it would be good to have a full time doctor that no one knew about on his payroll and David McCoy didn’t really believe that he was able to say no. He did what he was asked and when his son came into the fold he warned him of the complications and made him promise to stay as distant as possible from the situation. Leonard had readily agreed and thus Aldridge’s group became nothing more than patients than Leonard called ‘The Wild Ones’ if anyone asked because “They’re a bunch of crazies who do wild things that I have to stitch up!”

So Leonard patched up the boss’s son and said goodbye, hoping not to have to see him for quite some while. But Noah Aldridge was just as persistent and used to getting his own way as Jocelyn Darnell. So Leonard walked out to give some paperwork to his receptionist the next day and found the man standing there, smirk firmly in place and holding a single rose. Leonard glared and ignored him.

At the end of the day giving flu injections and checking half the local school’s football team’s sprained ankles, Leonard was tired and ready to go home. Only there was someone standing in front of his truck.

“Look, I’m really not in the mood. I have had to deal with too many kids today and, though they could be so much worse, they do have a tendency to ask a lot of questions. So if you aren’t bleeding, can this please just wait?”

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow,” Noah said courteously and stood aside to hold the door open for him. Leonard gave him a confused look then got into his truck.

“Thank you.”

“Goodnight.”

And that was that. Noah came back the next day with another rose and asked him to dinner. Leonard, despite knowing it was a very bad idea and was 90% sure that Noah would actually leave him alone if he turned him down, said yes. And said yes again and again.

Noah was, for all his upbringing and his secret life, kind and thoughtful and loving. He made Leonard smile and laugh and quickly received the approval of Matthew and Ashely. Leonard’s mamma was very impressed with the handsome young man who clearly doted on her son but David McCoy was cold though he hid it behind a polite veneer.

“Do you understand what you’re getting into, Leonard?”

“I know, I know you told me to stay distant but…daddy I love him. I love him.”

“He’ll bring trouble.”

“I don’t care. I love him.”

And he didn’t. They were happy for all that Leonard was just a country doctor and Noah would never explain what he did. But David McCoy was right; Noah Aldridge did bring trouble.

Leonard was just locking up the practise, looking forward to getting home where he knew Noah would be waiting to celebrate their fourth anniversary, when someone grabbed him from behind. Leonard may have been a nerd rather than a jock but he wasn’t helpless. He fought back, kicking and punching and even biting. But it turned out that his attacker wasn’t alone and soon everything went black.

He came to to find himself tied with thick rope to a chair. He tried to twist his way out but he only succeeded in tugging the rope tighter against his wrists, cutting into them.

“Well, well, look who’s awake.”

He looked up to see a broad man across the room staring at him.

“What do you want with me?”

“Not much. Just need you to tell me where I can find Noah Aldridge.”

“I don’t know anyone by that name,” Leonard said calmly, heart steady as when he performed surgery.

“Oh come now, Mr McCoy, we both know that’s not true.”

“It’s Doctor McCoy, thank you very much.”

“Well then, Doctor, you can tell me exactly which bones I’m about to break.”

Leonard sat silently as the man drew closer, keeping his heart steady. He had to remain strong. He wouldn’t say anything. He loved Noah, so he wouldn’t say anything.

When his captor brought out the knives, he still didn’t say anything.

Chapter Text

“Why don’t you say what happened next?”

“What?” Leonard asked, startled. He turned around to see Jim and Spock staring at him in shock (distress almost) with tears floating on Jim’s lashes. He looked to their laps and saw the PADD had reached the end of his story. He sighed and wrote the only words he could on the other PADD.

“Because nothing happened next. I died. That’s it.”

Jim let out a choked sob and buried his head in Spock’s neck, who sat stiffly, offering no comfort as his dark eyes gazed into Leonard’s.

“You were murdered,” the Vulcan stated softly. Leonard nodded, running worried eyes over Jim’s shaking form. He reached out to touch his back and found his lap full of the blond captain.

“I’m sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. You didn’t have to…that’s just…I never thought…I’m sorry. I'm sorry.”

Leonard ran his hands soothingly over Jim’s back and through his hair, murmuring comforting words that couldn’t be heard. He paused in shock when Spock laid his head upon his shoulder but quickly picked the movement back up with one hand and shifting the other to hold Spock’s hand.

They sat there drawing silent comfort from each other until Jim’s tears dried up.

“Sorry,” Jim muttered, lifting his head from Leonard’s lap. Leonard just smiled and shook his head at him. Spock also moved his head but kept a hold of his hand. Jim took a deep breath and rubbed his hands roughly over his face.

“But something must have happened next; how did you become a ghost? And Noah? What happened there?”

“Jim,” Spock admonished, “it is possible that Leonard does not wish to share that.”

“It’s alright, I don’t mind,” Leonard said, squeezing Spock’s hand to get his attention and then shaking his head at him. He pulled the PADD back over to him and quickly jotted words down, missing the comfort of Spock’s hand in his.

I want to tell you. Give me a moment to write it down?

“Of course,” Spock agreed. “While you do, I shall prepare some food.”

Spock stood from the bed and made his way over the room’s replicator. Jim just sat and watched Leonard type. It was delightful to see the man – ghost – so focused on something and Jim hoped that at one point he had been on the other end of such intensity, and wished to be so again. It was an enticing sight, much like Spock when he was hard at work in his lab.

Jim couldn’t hold back a chuckle. It seemed he definitely had a type. Leonard looked up briefly at the noise and Jim smiled warmly at him, pleased when he got an equally warm look in return. He stayed quiet then, content to wait to learn more of Bones’ history. Spock eventually came back with bowls of soup and he scarfed his down, not realising how hungry he was. They had forgone breakfast in their bid to inform Leonard of his new visible state and neither had noticed how the time flew as they became engrossed in reading about Leonard’s life.

It was heart-breaking to know what had happened to him. Jim didn’t regret asking but he had never expected it to be so dark. He could clearly see that their friend was not an old man by any standards but to know that his life had been cut short so viciously…

At least Bones had managed to at least find love while he was alive. It was obvious from his words that he had been very much in love and loved in return, according to some of Noah’s actions. Jim wondered if Bones still missed him dearly; Noah had been his first love, how much would that have faded over the centuries? And wasn’t that another shock; that their ghost had been around for over 200 years.

Jim took his and Spock’s bowls back into the main room, deciding to deal with them properly lately. He stood in the bedroom doorway for a moment, just watching Leonard and Spock sitting so comfortably side by side, Spock looking over one of his own PADDs and not even trying to peek at what Leonard was writing. (Jim knew that he’d certainly have peeked and probably would have received a slap for it. Bones was clearly fond of shoving; he’d done it to them often enough.)

Leonard waving his arm caught his attention and he walked back to the bed.

“Are you ready?” Jim asked and received a nod while the PADD was handed to Spock. Jim hurriedly settled down against Spock’s side, crowding close in order to read. (He didn’t have to get quite so close, and he could tell from the raised eyebrows of both Bones and Spock that they knew it. Bones just smirked and sent him a wink while Spock chose to ignore him.)

You want to know what happened after I died? How I became a ghost?

The truth is – I don’t know. I remember the pain, and losing all sense of everything. First feeling, then sound, and finally sight.

It was dark; it was dark for so long. I thought it’d never end. And I suppose that was when I almost realised that something wasn’t quite right. I was still having thoughts but it wasn’t until everything started brightening that I figured that out; that I realised that for a dead man I was feeling rather a lot.

At first, I thought maybe I hadn't died; maybe I’d been found and was in hospital. I thought perhaps I was in a coma – you heard all these stories about people being aware but not able to reach out so I thought that was what happened to me.

And then I was at home.

I was standing in my childhood room and it was just like I’d left it. When I’d moved out my parents decided never to change it and when I visited I’d stay in one of the guest rooms.

I didn’t know how I’d gotten there so I went out to try and find my dad. I needed him to tell me what was going on and that everything would be alright. But he wasn’t there. I looked all over the house but it was empty. Then I heard noises from the garden.

I just stood in the doorway and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

Our garden was full of people, most of who I knew because they were family. We had such a big family. They were all in black, and right in the middle stood my mamma. But she was so much older than I knew her to be. And my sisters were there and so were they. I was so confused…and then I saw the pictures on the table.

They were all of my dad. And the table cloth was black. I knew then what was going on.

It’s was my dad’s wake. My dad was dead and when I ran right through my mamma to hug her, I realised I was as well. I’d died, but for some reason had come back to learn that so had my dad.

I wandered around all the people, just listening, not knowing if this was all the time I’d get and wanting to spend it learning how everyone was doing.

Turned out dad had died of old age; lucky man. And you wanted to know about Noah? He was there, older, so much older. I found out over the following months that after I’d died he’d fallen apart and it had been my dad that got him through it. He’d stuck by my family, looking after them as if they were his own. I suppose they were, really.

I stayed and watched mamma live out the rest of her days. I’d tried being near Noah but it was…it tore at me, to be so close to him but not being able to touch or be seen. So I stuck to mamma.

My grief for losing Noah and my dad and then my mamma lessened the longer my existence went on. I still miss them at times but it doesn’t cause any pain now; I don’t often think about them, unless I see something that reminds me of them.

I’m used to being alone.

Or I was. Until you two.

I haven’t ever been so involved in people’s lives. I’d occasionally pull people from crashes or give medical attention to those that were alone and needed it. But that was just the doctor in me. You two have given me a reason to…well, live.

Thank you for that.

“You are most welcome, Leonard,” Spock said softly and Leonard could see that the Vulcan was actually close to tears. Jim didn’t bother to hold his back. Leonard smiled and moved closer to them, surprised when it was Spock that pulled him into his arms, Jim grabbing him from the side.

“Do not worry about being alone anymore, Leonard. We do not plan to go anywhere and are more than happy to have you in our lives.”

“Yeah, Bones. We’re not going anywhere. Not for a good long while,” Jim promised.

Leonard wished then that he could cry. Their words were sweet and he cherished them but they also made him think. Someday, far in the future as long as he could help it, Jim and Spock would have to leave him. He’d never met another ghost and had no idea how one became one, and he didn’t know how he could pass on with them. So he wished he could cry, so that on that day, he could let out all the pain he knew he was going to feel.

Chapter Text

After Spock finished his morning routine and managed to coax Jim into getting ready, he spent his free minutes just watching Leonard. The ghost didn’t seem to mind, concentrating on whatever he was reading on the PADD. Spock was unsure why he felt the need to stare but something was plaguing him. He thought it must have to do with hearing Leonard’s story and how it had made something inside of him ache. He would have to look into it. He was unused to such feelings and wanted to know what they meant.

A light touch to his arm brought him from his thoughts. He looked up to see Leonard looking at him with concern and holding up the PADD.

Are you alright?

“Of course, Leonard, I was just thinking.”

Leonard gestured for him to elaborate but Spock shook his head.

“I need more time to think before I can explain what is troubling me. Do not worry, I will come to you if I require your aid.”

Leonard nodded his acceptance and smiled. His smiles were always so warm and made Spock feel as if that warmth was invading his every pore. It was an oddly pleasant feeling despite being so invasive. And it left Spock with more questions. Jim had always been the only one to invade his space and senses so completely and that made sense. He loved Jim after all. So why did Leonard invoke similar responses? There was also something about Leonard’s name that was inciting his brain. He was sure he had heard the name Leonard Horatio McCoy before.

“Spock? What’s up?”

He looked up to see Jim staring at him this time.

“I am well. Are you ready?” Jim nodded and Spock stood to begin the journey to the bridge. Jim stopped him though by taking his wrist. Spock looked from where their hands touched and back to Jim, mouth twitching at the grin on Jim’s face. He gently brought their lips together in a kiss and Jim melted against him. When they pulled apart, Spock looked over Jim’s shoulder to see Leonard smiling softly at them. He shook the urge to kiss Leonard as well away. It did not make sense for him to want to do that. And yet, for some unexplainable reason, he did. Spock carefully kept his uncertainty masked and led the way out of the room.

“You know, I have an idea,” Jim said as they walked down the corridor.

“An idea concerning what?” Spock asked, intrigued and he could see a corresponding look on Leonard’s face. Jim looked around them, making sure that they were alone then whispering.

“A way to hear Leonard.”

Leonard’s face became one of shock as they both looked to him, Spock’s eyes mirroring his feelings. A way to hear him? It sounded impossible. And yet…he had thought being seen was an impossibility as well.

“How?” he asked, knowing they couldn’t hear him (yet, perhaps) but knowing that his question must be obvious all the same. Jim looked uncomfortable for a minute then soldiered on. He had started this new line of hope and couldn’t just cut it short.

“As a kid I liked reading stories about ghost hunters. My grandad had collected a whole bunch and they were left in our attic so I read them all, over and over. It kept me out of Frank’s way and I liked getting lost in the fictional worlds. Anyway, I must have been about 9 when I decided that I was going to be a ghost hunter so I did a load of research into how people communicated with ghosts. I’d completely forgotten about it to be honest but I had a dream last night about those books and it came back to me. One of the ways of communicating that I was really interested in was EVP.”

“EVP, captain?”

“Electronic Voice Phenomenon. People would go to haunted site and just record, sometimes asking questions as they did. When they played the tapes back they’d sometimes hear what sounded like voices among the static and background noise. Sometimes they even heard whole words and phrases.”

“You believe we can replicate just a phenomenon using modern technology.”

“We could probably make the experience not just easier but have it gain more accurate results.”

“I am willing to try, but it is up to Leonard.”

Jim and Spock turned to Leonard, who was still looking shocked. Jim stepped up to him and moved to take his hands. Leonard let him.

“Bones, I know how crazy it sounds, and I know lots of people thought of EVP’s as hoaxes but if we could do this…it’s up to you, of course it is, but I’d like to hear your voice. It’s what I want most in the world right now.”

Leonard couldn’t argue about this – he wanted them to hear him so badly as well. So he nodded and squeezed Jim’s hands, smiling sheepishly. Jim grinned back at him.

“Don’t worry, Bones. I’ll make this work.”

“We both will,” Spock added, which gave Leonard even more hope. If Jim and Spock were working together, they were unlikely to fail.

*********

Watching Jim and Spock work side by side at the lab station gave Leonard a confusing moment of déjà vu. In place of Jim and Spock working seamlessly together, he saw himself and Noah in their kitchen. They’d often stood in the exact same position, shoulder-to-shoulder, passing each other what they needed without the use of words. The perfect pair. The reminder left Leonard with an ache, but instead of just missing Noah, he found himself wishing he could join Jim and Spock in their harmonious unity. They were his future, no matter what his state of corporeality was. He planned to stay by their sides as long as possible, even if they could never hear him. Though from the sounds Jim was making, it appeared they were making headway.

He didn’t want to get in their way but he did want to be closer. He moved to sit on the edge of the bench they were working on. Jim looked up briefly and sent him a pleased smile which Leonard returned easily. It didn’t matter if this didn’t work, he decided. Just knowing how willing they were to get closer to him was enough.

“Got it!” Jim yelled suddenly. Leonard slid closer, looking at the device on the table. It looked like a cross between a large communicator and an old fashioned grammar phone. He gave it a dubious look then turned to face Jim and Spock.

“Right, let me switch this here, and this…alright! We are ready to go. Just say anything.”

Leonard thought for a moment then spoke silently. Jim looked to Spock who began tapping away at a PADD that was attached to the device.

“Play it back, Spock,” Jim commanded and Spock hit a couple of buttons. There was Jim’s voice talking, then silence before a murmur came across the speakers.

“One moment, let me make some adjustments,” Spock said, already tapping away again. Jim’s voice came again but this time the murmur was a voice.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you: I think it’s cute when you call me your ghost.”

Chapter Text

Conversation was stilted as each recording had to be played back, some several times, and Spock made a few more adjustments, but it was more than worth it. They were speaking, finally speaking. So what if there were several long pauses and conversation didn’t run smoothly? It didn’t matter as long as all three voices could be heard. And as they spoke, they soon became oblivious to the lulls for they were enraptured in each other.

“…And that was how I stopped the Vice Admiral from bleeding out without anyone realising that he’d actually been stabbed.”

“Wow, Bones, your doctor skills are incredible!”

“Doctor skills? I think you mean medical skills, kid.”

“Jim sometimes struggles with technical language.”

“Oh ha ha, very funny. You’re the one who didn’t know what a spork was, so there.”

“He probably assumed it was another Vulcan. Or that you were getting his name wrong.”

“It is perfectly acceptable for me to not recognise an outdated eating utensil.”

“Outdated?! People still use them, Spock. Hell, my ship supplies them.”

“Your ship, eh? I thought you shared it.”

“I share the space on it. It’s still my ship.”

“Technically, the Enterprise belongs to StarFleet. You are merely captaining it at this time. It is almost certain that at some point in the future there will be a new captain for it.”

“Not if I blow it up, there won’t. This is my ship. And it’s going to stay that way.”

“Of course, Jim.”

“Yeah, Jim, whatever you say.”

“Don’t take that tone with me. I should have known you two would gang up on me.”

“Don’t worry, Jim. We’ll only gang up when you’re doing something stupid.”

“Affirmative. Though it could be reasoned that 90% of your actions fall under that category.”

“Which means that we’ll always be ganging up. Oh well, kid, better luck next time.”

“I hate you both.”

“Pretty sure you’re in love with the hobgoblin.”

“Well I’ve changed my mind.”

“If that is how you feel, Jim, I will simply have to ‘run off’, I believe the term to be, with Leonard.”

Leonard laughed. He had wanted this so badly and it was even better than he had ever hoped. Before he could speak again, his laughter was replayed. He raised an eyebrow and was pleasantly surprised to see both of his companions blush.

“We did say that we imagined your laugh to be beautiful. We had to hear it,” Jim explained sheepishly as Spock hid his face by fiddling with the machine.

“And did it live up to expectation?” Leonard asked warily. The EVP device automatically replayed his question, coded now to repeat whatever it picked up from him.

“It was so much better,” Jim said softly, eyes alight with wonder. Leonard turned to Spock who nodded in agreement, his eyes mirroring Jim’s.

“I never expected this to happen,” Leonard said quietly. “I’m so happy it has.”

“As are we,” Spock added, taking Leonard’s hand in his. Jim moved to copy the motion, leaving Leonard smiling joyfully.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“Thank you,” Jim stressed.

They sat around the workbench silently, enjoying that they now chose to do so and that they could change that at any moment. Leonard felt his feelings begin to overwhelm him so he hurried to start a new topic before he could blurt out his feelings. He’d have to be careful now; he couldn’t just say ‘I love you’ to the pair of them without them hearing now.

“So Spock, what are you doing with the ugly rock now?” he asked, pointing at where the gift sat on another table, wires stuck onto it and feeding into different machines. (He was highly thankful for the rock, don’t get him wrong, but it was still ugly.) Spock and Jim both turned their heads to look at it.

“I am attempting to understand how the energy from it rendered you visible, and why only to us. The bridge crew could not see you, though Nyota and Lieutenant Sulu both had contact with the rock at one point.”

“I forgot that they’d touched it,” Jim stated, frowning. “I just assumed none of them could see him because we were the only ones to hold the rock. But if that wasn’t the case…”

“Precisely, Jim. I wish to know why it only worked for us.”

“Could it perhaps have something to do with it being gifted only to the pair of you? Or maybe it’s my fault. I only really focused on you two, on wanting you to see me. Maybe that’s why it didn’t work for the others.”

“If that’s the case, then maybe you just have to want them to see you and we can get them all to touch it again,” Jim hypothesised. “Whatever the reason, don’t think that it’s your fault. You didn’t know what it was capable of. We’re just glad of what it has done.” He smiled reassuringly and Leonard easily accepted it, a small smile working its way onto his face. Jim and Spock knew just how to make him feel better, which warmed him too ridiculously much. He wanted to spill his feelings so badly but he restrained himself. He couldn’t ruin this. This would be enough. It was already more than he had ever hoped.

Spock moved over to the rock to check on the readings it was giving out and Jim hopped up onto the bench beside him. They sat shoulder-to-shoulder, watching the Vulcan they both loved, though only one of them knew that.

“You’re wonderful together,” Leonard murmured, forgetting momentarily that his words would be audible. Jim turned to him, a blush staining his cheeks, but his mouth quickly changed from gaping to a soft smile.

“I love him so much. But I don’t think anything would’ve come of it without you.”

“You would have gotten there eventually.”

“Maybe.” Jim didn’t sound like he really believed that but he didn’t continue the subject. “I do owe you so much.”

“I owe you as well,” Leonard quickly added. “I never thought I’d communicate with anyone ever again. You didn’t just claim my words though; you found my voice. I’d forgotten what it truly sounded like. We’re even. I made you happy, you’ve made me happy. So let’s just be happy.”

“I get the feeling that saying the word ‘happy’ so many times hurt you,” Jim teased.

“It’s not my default emotion.”

“Well it is now. Better get used to it,” Jim said, completely sincere.

“I think you’re right,” Leonard said, smile wide. “And it’s all thanks to you two.”

He looked at Jim, smile open and loving but not caring. He did love them. They didn’t have to know that he was in love with them. Jim opened his mouth, eyes intent, but before he could speak, the lab door slid open and Nyota, Scotty, M’Benga, Sulu and Chekov all came in.

“So what are you laddies up to?” Scotty asked, staring hard at the EVP device.

“Errrrr…” Jim tried to come up with a response but was saved by the bang.

The bang of the ugly alien rock exploding and smoke and dust filling the room.

“SPOCK!” Jim and Leonard yelled.

“I am well,” came the Vulcan’s voice and soon his figure was seen as the air scrubbers cleaned the room.

“While that’s good,” Sulu said, voice hard “who is that?”

Everyone turned to see where he was looking and it was only when Leonard shifted to see the wall behind him, that he really realised that he was the who in question.

“Um…” he said, and the device repeated his hesitance for all to hear.

“Well I guess Spock’s experiment worked,” Jim said, trying to be light. “So that’s how you use the rock to make a ghost visible to everyone.”

“GHOST?!” shouted the four men staring hard at Leonard, who was looking anywhere but at them. Nyota simply smiled.

“Ah, you must be Leonard. It is a pleasure to finally meet.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Nyota. I can call you that, right? I know you don’t let Jim…”

“Oh it’s fine from you,” Nyota said with a smile.

“Hey! That’s not fair,” Jim whined, but the grin on his face made it clear that he didn’t really care.

“Wait, lassie, are you saying you knew about this fella?”

“Yes, I am. Spock told me about him. Leonard here was responsible for the glitches and saving us all from the pirates.”

“Oh,” Chekov said in a small voice. Leonard assumed that because of his Russian heritage he was a bit uncertain about having a ghost aboard so he didn’t hold it against him.

“It was nothing,” Leonard said and Sulu snorted.

“Yeah right. That was awesome. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“It is pleasure to meet you, Leonard,” M’Benga said with a smile. “I am-”

“Geoffrey M’Benga, I know. I know who all of you are. I’ve been here a while. I’m Leonard McCoy.”

“Leonard McCoy? I swear I know that name…”

“The doctor who founded the most advance branch of neurosurgery!”

Everyone turned to Spock, shocked that he had actually shouted. He looked awkward for a second then quickly pulled his mask back up but Leonard could see how his eyes shone with excitement.

“Leonard Horatio McCoy. I knew I knew your name. Your work as a neurosurgeon was incredible.”

“Wait! You’re The Leonard McCoy!” M’Benga shouted, and suddenly conversation flooded the room. Spock and M’Benga rushed to Leonard’s side and began asking a range of questions about Leonard’s work, hardly able to wait for the machine to replay his words to them. Scotty, Sulu and Chekov were more interested in hearing how the EVP machine worked and were soon locked in discussions with Jim about ways of making it smaller and portable. Nyota watched it all with fond amusement, happy that her friend and her captain had found their missing piece. Even if they didn’t know it yet.

Chapter Text

“So when are you going to ask Nyota out?” Leonard asked, causing splutters and raised eyebrows from his companions. He was sitting in the mess hall (At the table rather than on it because now that he could be seen, Spock had suggested that he sit with a little more decorum. He had stuck his tongue out but otherwise acquiesced.) with Jim, Spock and Scotty, testing his new portable EV machine. (They had decided to drop the P because they knew where his voice was coming from after all and Spock had somehow managed to pick up that Leonard wasn’t really comfortable being called a phenomenon.) He had just been idly listening to the discussion about dilithium crystals when the Communications Officer’s entrance had prompted an idea in him.

“Excuse me?” Jim asked, still spluttering slightly and thumping his chest.

“Well, Scotty’s enamoured with her-”

“I am not!” Scotty disputed but shut up when Leonard glared at him.

“As I was saying, Scotty likes her, and she seems rather fond of you in return so you should ask her out. I’m 99% sure she’d agree.”

“99%? Why not 100%?”

“Because, Jim, too much confidence is not actually good for you. Also, I’m sure Spock will tell you that it’s logical to leave a margin for error. But forget that 1%; Scotty, you should ask her.”

“How can ya be so certain, lad?”

“I just am,” Leonard said surely, making it clear he wouldn’t be speaking further on the subject. The truth was that before Jim and Spock had been given the ugly rock that allowed them to see him, he had listened in on an interesting conversation between Nyota, Christine and Janice where the former had made her appreciation of the Scotsman known but had declined her friends’ plans to set them up, saying that she wanted him to make the first move. Leonard couldn’t tell the man this – it would be a complete violation of privacy and trust (not that Nyota would know that but that was beside the point) – but he could encourage him. From the look in Spock’s eye, he was certain that the Vulcan knew that he had inside information but Spock kept quiet, which earned him a soft smile. (Spock’s following blush just made the smile turn mischievous.)

“Okay then, we need a plan.” They all turned to Jim, Scotty with his mouth gaping open.

“What are ya on about, lad?”

“We need a plan for how to set up a date for you and Nyota,” Jim said as if it was obvious. “We’re going to help you, of course. You’re a wizard with engines, Scotty, but I think you could use some help in this.”

“And of course Jim is the best option,” Leonard said sarcastically. “Seeing how easily he confessed his feelings and won his chosen heart.”

Jim at least had the decency to blush and look sheepish while Spock’s lips twitched, trying to hold back a chuckle. Scotty just let himself guffaw, thumping the table in his exuberance, while Leonard grinned in amusement.

“Alright, alright,” Jim said, “calm down. Yes, I will admit that I needed help-”

“A lot of help.”

“But...that is why I'm offering my help now. Because I know how hard it is.”

“Thanks, Jim,” Scotty said sincerely.

“Right then, let’s get to work.”

*********

Listening to Jim, Leonard and Scotty discuss date plans made Spock uncomfortably aware that he and Jim had not had a ‘date’ in some time. Their dates also had never been as fancy as what was being planned for Nyota. Certainly, neither he nor Jim really minded that fact; they were happy just having each other’s company: talking, watching films or playing chess. But lately they had not done any of that. Ever since Leonard became visible to them, they had focused on him. Spock knew that if he asked, Leonard would give them an evening alone, but that was where the uncomfortable feeling really came from. Because, for some reason, the idea of spending an evening doing all those things, but without Leonard, felt wrong.

Leonard had become a central part of their relationship and Spock was unsure how he had missed it. He was sure that Jim felt the same. It was clear in how after every intimate action with Spock he would make sure to touch Leonard. And Spock was the same, which came as a surprise to him; he had not realised that he took Leonard’s hand as often as took Jim’s. Thinking back, he should have realised there was something special about Leonard when he agreed to have sex in front of him; Spock would not have done that with any other observer, he knew that, and he knew that Jim would not have wanted to, for all his adventurousness, if their voyeur had not been Leonard.

Since Leonard had become visible, they had included him in everything, making sure that he felt included. They had even insisted that he stay in their room – in their bed. That first night, after learning about Leonard’s life, Jim and Spock had simply cuddled Leonard up in the middle of them. The ghost did not need to sleep but he had stayed between them all night, never letting himself lose contact with either of them, Spock believed, because when the Vulcan had awoken Leonard had been in the exact same place. They had invited Leonard not just into their life but into their relationship, and Spock was sure that none of them had noticed.

Well then, he thought, mouth twitching into a smile as he watched Jim and Leonard argue some part of their plan, I had best rectify that.

*********

“Miss Uhura, if you would come with me, please,” Leonard said with a bow, holding his arm out to the beautiful woman. Christine and Janice giggled as Nyota took his arm and let him walk them away from the other two and down a different corridor.

“Where are we going, Leonard?”

“Well, you helped Spock and Jim understand why I was so wary to speak to them, so I thought I would do something nice for you in exchange.”

“And what nice thing have you done?” Nyota asked curiously.

“You’ll have to wait and see,” Leonard said with a teasing grin. Nyota huffed in mock irritation but that just made him grin more.

“Well then, you’ll just have to answer another of my questions instead,” she said, voice turning wicked and Leonard worried about what she was going to ask but nodded his head at her all the same, knowing that he couldn’t actually stop her asking.

“When are you going to tell Jim and Spock that you love them?”

Leonard was right to worry. He tried to say something, anything, most likely a denial, but words failed him and his mouth just opened and closed until he forced it closed. Nyota smiled gently at his failure but her eyes held a seriousness that Leonard knew meant she cared about his answer.

“Leonard?”

“How can I tell them? I’m dead, Nyota, and nothing can change that. Yeah, they can see me, hear me, and I can touch them, but it’s not real.”

“Of course it’s real.”

“No, it’s not. They can only see me because of some alien rock. They can only hear me because of this device. And I can only touch them because I think about it all the time. It’s hard. I am so thankful that they can hear me but it frustrates me that there’s still this pause between my words and I know that that just sounds selfish or greedy but that’s how I feel because it reminds me that I’m not really here. And if I don’t constantly think about touching them then I can’t and sometimes I can’t help my mind moving onto something else and it hurts so much when they pass right through me. Plus, even if I told them, and for some miraculous reason they felt the same, what then? How does one have a relationship with a ghost? I don’t feel, Nyota, not really. I’m a ghost and so are my emotions. Yes, I can be happy and sad but physical emotions? I don’t have them. There’s no blushing, no crying, no pain, no…”

“No arousal,” Nyota finished, and Leonard shook his head sadly. Nyota sighed and squeezed his arm sympathetically.

“But you know,” she said, a small smile working its way onto her beautiful face, “a relationship doesn’t need all of those things. It just needs people who truly care for each other. And the three of you care more about each other than I have ever seen people care for one another. You understand each other seamlessly and do whatever it takes to look after each other: you had no idea what could happen to you if you revealed yourself, and yet you did to protect them; Jim saw how desperately you needed to feel more real so he built a way for you to speak; and Spock instantly noticed when M’Benga’s questioning became too much for you and moved you into Jim’s conversation. I understand that it may never really feel like enough for you and you’ll always be haunted – sorry, no pun intended – by the fact that you’re dead, but you have them right now. Enjoy it. And I’m sure you’ll share some pretty fantastic kisses all the same.”

Leonard snorted at that and Nyota smiled, her work done. She really was an angel sometimes.

“I’ll think about it,” Leonard promised, and Nyota nodded, knowing that even that was a big deal. “Now, I think it’s time you saw your surprise,” he added as they walked towards a door for one of the smaller observation decks. Nyota raised an eyebrow (Leonard was sure that Spock must have taken the time to teach her to raise it in that exact manner.) at the sight of Jim leaning against the door making the blond grin as he opened the door for her.

“Oh,” Nyota sighed breathlessly at the sight of the table for two near the observation window, Scotty standing by it, waiting to pull out her chair.

“I’d be delighted if ya would join me for dinner, Nyota,” the Scotsman asked, voice steady despite his nervousness.

“I would love to,” Nyota replied softly, letting go of Leonard’s arm and heading over to him.

“Best leave them to it,” Leonard whispered as Nyota pressed a gentle kiss to Scotty’s cheek as he helped her sit down.

“Come on then,” Jim said, leading them out and making sure the door was locked behind them. “Spock hopefully has dinner ready.”

“Do you only ever think about eating?” Leonard teased. Jim grinned but then turned serious.

“Do you ever miss it?” he asked.

“What? Eating?” Leonard questioned and Jim nodded. Leonard thought about it.

“I don’t think so. I guess I did to begin with but I haven’t really thought about eating in ages. Sometimes I see something and think ‘That looks tasty’ but it’s just a passing thought really. It’s been too long for me to miss it anymore.” He smiled reassuringly at Jim who smiled back easily. They discussed how Scotty and Nyota’s date was going as they walked back to Jim’s quarters but when they opened the door they both stopped instantly, staring with wide eyes.

The couches had been pushed back and a blanket sat in the middle of the floor. Next to one edge was the table, holding several lit candles along with plates of food and two glasses. Spock stood to the side of the blanket, looking slightly flushed.

“I’ll leave you two to your evening,” Leonard said softly, trying to ignore the cracking of his heart. He had been so overjoyed by their attention that he hadn't realised how much they had been neglecting their relationship. He was warmed though by Spock doing something so romantic. Before he could leave though, Spock spoke.

“This is for you as well, Leonard.”

Leonard stared at him in complete shock. Jim looked between them, the set-up and then back to Leonard, a grin spreading across his face. He grabbed Leonard’s hand and pulled him further into the room and right over to Spock.

“I don’t understand,” Leonard said quietly.

“I believe I speak for both Jim and myself when I say we had not realised how much you had become a part of our life. That needs to change. We want you here, with us, for as long as possible. You have become a part of us, and we feel all the more whole for it.”

“I agree completely,” Jim said. “You slotted straight into a hole we didn’t even know was there. I assume this is Spock asking you to join us completely?”

“It is,” Spock said confidently. Leonard looked between them, his face showing all of his conflicting emotions. Spock gently took his free hand, taking Jim’s other hand as well without looking.

“Leonard, we have let you see us at our most intimate. We let you into our hearts and I am sorry that we did not realise it. But now, we would ask that you accept all of us.”

“But I’m dead. I’m a ghost.”

“Yeah, you are. But you’re our ghost,” Jim said resolutely. Leonard let out a choked sob/laugh and just let them lift his hands to kiss them.

“I don’t know what to say,” he said. He felt like his heart was bursting with too much love but he didn’t feel all that inclined to stop it.

“Say you’ll join us on this date,” Spock directed while Jim nodded and grinned.

“I’d love to,” Leonard answered with his own smile. “But first I want to do this,” and he raised his lips to softly kiss Spock. The Vulcan actually let out a squeak, and oddly so did Jim. Leonard parted from Spock and turned to the blond.

“Sorry,” he grinned, “but that was wonderful.” Leonard simply smiled and kissed him as well.

Yeah, it was all pretty wonderful.

Chapter Text

Leonard spent the whole night trying to comprehend what had happened, and trying to get his mouth to stop smiling. He lay between Jim and Spock, right where they had pulled him after letting him enjoy the sight of them together again. Catching Jim’s eyes as the blond lay panting beneath Spock had been so exhilarating, that Leonard had reached over and gently bitten Spock’s ear. The reaction from both participants had been incredibly arousing, even for a ghost who couldn’t actually feel that sort of thing any more.

The evening had been perfect, just sitting and talking, occasionally reaching over to plant soft kisses to hands, cheeks and lips. Leonard had focused so hard on keeping himself as corporal as possible that now he actually felt tired, so he slipped out from between Jim and Spock and let himself just relax at the end of the bed. He watched as Jim rolled into the space he had left and curled into Spock’s side; it was too cute not to smile at.

He couldn’t stop his mind from replaying the evening, smirking as he watched Jim in his mind begin to seductively remove his clothes.

“What are you doing over there?”

Leonard pulled himself from his memories to see Spock watching him sleepily. He smiled at the Vulcan and inched closer to press a kiss to his temple.

“Just resting, go back to sleep.”

“Are you well?” Spock asked, Leonard’s answer seeming to have awoken rather than calmed him.

“I’m fine,” Leonard reassured with a smile. “I’ve just never concentrated on being able to interact for that long. I just need to be…ghostly for a bit.”

“Are you sure it is nothing to worry about? If we pushed-”

“Stop right there,” Leonard interrupted quickly, frowning. “You, neither of you, have done anything wrong. I am positive that I am fine. I just need to rest but I’ll be back to normal by morning. I simply didn’t want to feel one of you pass through me so I decided to move. That’s all.”

“Very well, if you are sure.”

“I am. Now sleep, stubborn hobgoblin.”

Spock huffed out a breath at the name (proof of his own tiredness) but lay back down and closed his eyes. Leonard watched him, noting when he had fallen back to sleep by the complete relaxing of his whole body. He looked so young in sleep – they both did. Leonard couldn’t help but snort at that thought. They were young. They were usually just too busy running around saving things for it to be obvious.

He sighed, enjoying the quiet of sleep. Sometimes he missed dreaming but, looking at Jim and Spock, he realised that what he was doing right now wasn’t much different. He’d often as a child had dreams where he couldn’t seem to interact with or influence anything going on around him. Becoming a ghost had been rather like that, except with a bit more freedom. This, now, was the best type of dream. Being with people who cared so much about you that all else didn’t matter. And the best part was that he wouldn’t have to wake up for years. (He’d do whatever it took to make sure of that.)

He settled down to spend the last few hours until morning shift replaying last night. It really had been wonderful.

*********

Watching Jim and Scotty work on the transporter wasn’t very interesting but Spock was there as well so he decided to stick around. Everyone else was also working and he didn’t feel like viewing the nebula by himself. It was a beautiful sight – waves of blue and gold mixing around each other and streaming out from a bright central point. When they had all watched it earlier from the bridge, Leonard had gotten the impression that it was constantly shifting but the colours were moving so slowly that it was easy to believe that it was just your eyes playing tricks on you. They had stopped a careful distance away, waiting for StarFleet confirmation on what their next course of action should be.

“Commander, I appreciate your help, I do, but could ya shut up laddie and let us work!”

Scotty’s irritated voice grabbed him from his musings and he smiled at the sheepish turn of Spock’s mouth. He caught Jim’s eye and they both looked away from each other quickly before they started laughing. Spock had been offering opinions on how to upgrade the transporter all afternoon and it seemed the Chief Engineer had finally had enough.

“Spock, darlin’, why don’t you come keep me company,” Leonard suggested, reaching out his hand to beckon the Vulcan over. He hadn't realised exactly what he’d said until he noticed Scotty’s gaping and Jim’s smirk. He turned back to Spock and saw that, though he was keeping eye contact with him, his ears were burning green. He didn’t think about what to do next.

“Come on, darlin’, leave the children to their toys,” he said with a smile, wiggling his fingers to get Spock to move. The Vulcan stepped over to him and took his hand cautiously, purposefully not looking back at the other two. Leonard peeked round him to catch a wink from Jim which he happily returned, and saw that Scotty had gotten straight back to work. He felt fingers stroking down the hand Spock was holding and looked up at him.

“You have not called me that endearment before.”

“No, I haven’t,” Leonard conceded. “Do you have a problem with it?”

“I would prefer if you kept it for a private setting,” Spock said, his blush spreading down to his cheeks.

“Sure thing, hobgoblin,” Leonard said, receiving a nod of gratitude. They stood silently, turning to watch Jim and Scotty argue over something that Leonard knew he didn’t have a hope of understanding. Give him a piece of obscure medical equipment and, given time, he could tell you exactly what it did but anything to do with astro- or quantum- or something else-physics and he might as well be a rock for all the understanding he had. So he watched them do things and hoped that it would stop the frequent breakdowns.

Jim left Scotty to finish tweaking the console and moved over to join them, casually taking their free hands.

“So, what are we talking about?” he asked with a grin. Leonard went to answer him, planning to say they were discussing his lacking work effort and how he’d just abandoned Scotty, when the Scotsman let out a yell. They whipped around to stare at him but found their vision being enveloped in a white light. Spock and Jim gripped tightly onto Leonard’s hands, a grip he returned while forcing his body to stay as solid as possible. He didn’t know what was happening but he knew that he didn’t want to lose them. He focused only on keeping a hold of them. The light grew brighter and brighter, forcing their eyes shut then, just as suddenly as it had appeared, it disappeared.

“Where are we?” Jim’s voice asked from his left. Leonard opened his eyes to see that they were standing in a forest. All around them stood tall trees and wild flowers scattered the ground. He would have found it rather pretty and peaceful with the soft sound of bird song but because they weren’t meant to be there it was actually quite terrifying. It didn’t help that he had been stuck on the ship for so long.

“It appears to be a forest.”

“Helpful, hobgoblin.” Leonard didn’t hold back on his sarcasm but he wasn’t prepared for them to instantly stop their examination of the area and spin around to him.

“Oh god, Bones! Are you alright? You’re all still here, you don’t feel funny or anything? You have to tell us the second you feel like something is wrong!”

“Jim is correct, Leonard. You must tell us immediately if you begin to feel unwell.”

“Guys, relax. I’m a ghost; I don’t tend to feel unwell.”

“You were tired late last night,” Spock pointed out.

“WHAT? Why didn’t I know about this?”

“Because I was fine. I’m still fine. Honestly, Jim, don’t worry. I promise I will let you know straightaway if that changes.” Leonard hurried to reassure the blond, glaring slightly at Spock for bringing up his earlier tiredness. He softened though when he saw the worry for him in Spock’s dark eyes. They seemed to accept his words and so Jim began leading them down what looked like it could be a trail.

“Is your communicator working, Spock?”

“Negative, Jim. But that is understandable as we were not near a planet when we transported.”

“We were near the nebula,” Leonard pointed out. “And we weren’t actually standing on the transporter pad; we were next to it.” His words did nothing to lighten the atmosphere and brought more worry to Jim and Spock’s faces. They walked silently, listening for a sign of danger or civilisation (or most likely both, Leonard thought).

“I believe I see a structure up ahead,” Spock announced some time later.

“Okay,” Jim said. “Be on guard.”

They carefully approached what turned out to be a nicely sized cabin. They exchanged looks before knocking on the door. It swung open all by itself.

“I guess no one lives here,” Leonard said, and stepped inside.

“Bones, what are you doing?” Jim hissed.

“Checking the inside,” Leonard said, voice leaking with how obvious he thought that was. “It’s nice; homely.”

Jim shook his head at Spock in exasperation but they followed him in nonetheless. It was homely inside, furnished with clean-cut wood and soft throws. It was the perfect all-weather cabin and a look around showed that it had not-completely-modern plumbing with proper water shower and toilet, a fully functional kitchen stocked with utensils, and a bedroom that was dominated by the massive bed covered in cushions and blankets.

“I like it,” Leonard stated. “You two are going to need food though,” he added as he opened another empty cupboard in the kitchen.

“The plumbing system suggests a high level of civilisation, matching Earth’s 22^nd century,” Spock said, twisting the taps and watching the left one begin to steam as the water grew hotter.

“Well at least we won’t be sleeping on the ground until we can figure a way back home,” Jim said.

“Or at least until the new owners move in,” Leonard said, pointing out of the kitchen window. They moved to the back door, finding it locked but the keys on a hook beside it, and hurried over to where a sign lay on the ground. SOLD it said on it, with a picture of purple house.

“That would explain why it’s so well stocked except for food,” Leonard rationalised, crouching down to pick up the sign, thinking there may be clues on the other side.

“OW!”

“Bones what’s wrong?” Jim cried and grabbed at him.

“The wood cut me,” Leonard said, then turned wide eyes on Jim and Spock. “It cut me,” he iterated and they all stared at his hand as ruby red drops of blood rolled down his finger and pooled in his palm.

Chapter Text

In the end, Jim was the one to collect the first aid kit from the bathroom and clean up Leonard’s finger. Spock sat next to Leonard and held his other hand, the minute tremble in the Vulcan’s fingers telling him all he needed to know: Spock could sense his emotions. Leonard focused on thinking only about how glad he was to be there with Jim and Spock, on how much he cared for them, about how deeply he’d wished to be this close to them. Of course, he couldn’t help some distant part of his mind from screaming about how he wasn’t used to this and that he needed to know what and how this had happened, but the gentle stroking of Spock’s fingers across his went a long way towards calming him down.

Jim finished up by placing a strip of adhesive plaster across the cut then took a deep breath, prompting Leonard and Spock to look at him.

“As much as we should try and figure out how this happened, I think we should start by finding out where we are and how we got here. That’s more likely to bring us answers, I think.”

Leonard and Spock agreed but the question was where to find those answers.

“I think I saw a map on the table in the main area,” Leonard said, getting up and leading the way (literally for Spock who refused to release his hand as if trying to absorb everything possible from him why he had the chance). There was indeed a map which had a little star sticker placed on it in a highly wooded area. What appeared to be a track led from the star to a town that was probably only a few miles away.

“We are assuming, of course, that the star marks our current location?” Spock asked, now taping his fingers against Leonard’s wrist.

“Makes sense. The people who live here would need to know where they are,” Jim replied. “Though of course,” he added thoughtfully, “they probably know where they are because it’s their home.”

“If the star isn’t us there’ll be no harm done,” Leonard said reassuringly. The other two agreed and they left the cabin.

The track was actually quite clear, with the land smoothed down and the edges lined intermittently with white stones. The trees were tall, with their leaves coloured summer green, and provided cool shade for the trio to walk in. Spotted between the trees and around the bases of them were wild flowers in a multitude of colours, which Spock named to fill the quiet. Jim and Leonard listened with smiles on their faces, not really caring about the information but happy to see Spock so cheerful. At one point, Jim plucked a couple of the flowers from the ground and presented them to Spock and Leonard with a bow. Spock managed to stay almost detached as he thanked Jim (his mouth twisted upwards slightly) but Leonard full on blushed. Jim and Spock stared causing Leonard to avert his eyes. He was so used to not being able to blush when Jim and Spock did adorable things that he just couldn’t control himself.

“Stop staring,” he huffed, keeping his eyes to the ground.

“Sorry,” Jim said, broad grin belying his words. “But we’ve never seen you blush, Bones.”

“That’s because ghosts can’t blush!” Leonard said gruffly.

“At the present time, you do not appear to be a ghost,” Spock spoke logically but it only earned him a glare from Leonard. However, Spock was completely unaffected and simply took Leonard’s hand. He softened instantly. How could he be mad when it felt like electric currents were running through his body? Jim moved to take his other hand before ushering them to start moving again, swinging his and Leonard’s joined hands as they went. Leonard indulged him. There was no reason not to and it wasn’t as if he wasn’t enjoying being able to touch them so easily.

*********

When they reached the town they found themselves on the edge of a large square filled with canopies.

“It must be a market day,” Leonard surmised, watching how under one canopy two men were arguing over a table of rugs. From the sound of it, the man trying to buy a rug didn’t believe in having a red rug in the bedroom. Leonard was sure he heard the words “demon” and “summoning” and quickly veered his attention elsewhere.

“Can I help you boys?” a friendly female voice called from their right so they turned to see who was addressing them. There stood a giant of a woman, with dark eyes and the friendliest smile Leonard swore he’d ever seen.

“Um…” Jim started, “we’re…er…”

“We are from the cabin just along the woodland track,” Spock stated confidently. Jim and Leonard shared a look of ‘Vulcan’s don’t lie my ass’ but Leonard supposed that it wasn’t really a lie – they had come here from the cabin.

“Oooh, you’re the new boys? Wonderful! The whole town was wondering when we’d be meeting you. When did you arrive?”

“Just this morning ma’am,” Leonard replied politely.

“Oh none of that, just call me Amberly. I’m glad you’re all alright though. You must have just missed that dreadful solar storm.”

“Solar storm?”

“Oh yes, we get a lot of backlash from them here, not like in the cities. There’s so much protection against them there but out here…we get by. They aren’t usually too bad, just send the electronics haywire for an hour of so but in summer we do sometimes get bad ones like this morning. It’s best not to go outside then; it can do terrible damage, as I'm sure you know.”

“Oh yes, we were very lucky. We didn’t even really think about the lack of protections when we moved out here but we’ll definitely remember now. It must have hit after we got in but we were so tired we didn’t notice,” Jim said, all smiles and knowledge (Bullshit coughed Leonard’s brain) but he gave a pointed look to Spock and Leonard. They chatted with Amberly for a while, just simple things such as what the townsfolk were like and the best place to buy freshly baked bread. Leonard was starting to become rather fond of her when he smile turned mischievous.

“Well it is lovely to have three such handsome gentlemen moving to town but I do feel for our young ladies. Having to sit by and watch but not touch.”

“I’m sorry?” Leonard coughed.

“Oh sweetheart, it’s obvious you three are just dying to put your hands on each other. Why don’t you head on over to Jo’s – she owns the grocers – then make your way home? You can be sociable with the town tomorrow; go enjoy your new home.”

Leonard knew he was blushing uncontrollable but at least so were Jim and Spock as well. They thanked Amberly and moved on, after one more warning about another solar storm likely to hit the next afternoon. They went about collecting food, paying for it with the credit stick they had found in one of the kitchen drawers, speaking briefly with everyone they passed who all seemed to be of the same mind as Amberly, letting them go with smiles and even a few winks.

“That lady just congratulated me on my great catch,” Jim exclaimed as they finally managed to exit the market square and begin the walk back. “I think they think we’ve just gotten married and moved out here.”

“What?” Leonard cried

“That would explain some of the comments and actions,” Spock rationalised. Leonard gaped at him, mouth falling open even further when Jim started nodding along.

“And…we’re okay with that?” he asked uncertainly. Jim smiled gently at him and stepped close to him, putting his hands on his cheeks and resting their foreheads together.

“We’re together,” he said ardently. “All of us. Together. I don’t care how other people see us; I only care about us. And I want us.”

“I want us too,” Leonard replied, voice hoarse with emotion.

“And you have us,” Spock avowed.

“So why don’t we go back and listen to Amberly,” Jim suggested with a wicked smirk.

“Meaning?” Leonard asked, sure he knew but wanting desperately to hear the words.

“Let us have you,” Jim and Spock requested together. And Leonard could only nod and allow them to lead him by the hand back to the cabin.

Chapter Text

Leonard woke up snuggled between Jim and Spock. They both had their arms wrapped tightly around him, as if in their sleep they had suddenly become afraid that he would leave or vanish. He couldn’t stop the smile that crept across his face as he twisted to secure their hold around him even further. This was what he wanted ever since he had realised his feelings in that supply room. This was all that he would ever need.

He shuffled slightly to get back into his warm spot, causing Jim to roll closer and cover him with his own warm body. Yeah, this was heaven. He absorbed the warmth coming from his lovers (and he wasn’t freaking out about that, no sir!) and let his thoughts drift to his dreams.

Being a ghost meant never sleeping and thus there were no dreams. Oh, he had had daydreams; wishes that he had hoped to come true but never expected to occur in reality. (He was going to have to change his thoughts about reality though because lately it had been going very nicely.) But no dreams; nothing made only of wild thoughts and subconscious emotions. He had forgotten what it felt like to dream so, even though his night started off dark, it was still rather pleasant to be able to once again feel that irrational fear. In his dream he had been alone, all alone in a dark space. He couldn’t move or speak or anything – he just was. And it had been cold, colder than he had even been but there was nothing he could do. He had thought that he would never feel warmth again when, suddenly, two bright blue lights appeared before him. They got closer and closer, and when they were almost touching Leonard, he realised that he knew that shade of blue. And then he was falling and Spock’s voice was telling “It is illogical to be afraid, Leonard. Of course we will catch you.” And Jim and Spock did catch him, holding him so carefully like freshly blown glass barely cooled from the fire. The dream had taken off from there; the Enterprise had somehow become a pirate ship and Jim was prancing around, yelling about finding lost treasure. When Leonard had looked over the side of the ship, he had been wondrously surprised to find them sailing, not on water, but on the blackness of space with stars dancing all around.

Leonard let out chuckle as he thought of the tight outfits the crew had been wearing in his dream. He didn’t think pirates had really dressed quite like that – How would they have moved, let alone fought, in those trousers? – but Spock in particular had worn it well.

“I would never wear such a uniform, Leonard,” Spock said into his ear, voice soft from sleep. Leonard blushed; he had forgotten that Spock could now read his thoughts.

“I cannot read your thoughts through touch alone; I merely see surface thoughts and emotions, sometimes images. Does this bother you? I can block my mind from you if it does.”

Leonard rolled over, as much as he could with Jim still soundly asleep across his chest, and took Spock’s face in his hands with a soft smile.

“I never want to be blocked from you again,” he said, the raw honesty in his voice making him sound hoarse. Spock instantly understood, pulling him closer and wrapping himself around him. Jim made a huffing sound in his sleep so Leonard reached behind himself and dragged the blonde up against his back. Jim instantly accepted the new position, his arm under Leonard’s head reaching down to rest on his chest while his other stretched to encompass Spock as well.

“This is perfect,” Leonard murmured, the warmth and comfort dragging him back to the depths of sleep. “I never want this to end.”

“We will not let it,” Spock promised. Leonard smiled softly at his words but his last traitorous thought was But this isn’t real.

*********

When Leonard woke again, the sun had risen well into the sky so he crawled out from between his partners, waking them in the process, and headed for the shower. He was pleasantly surprised when as he was washing his hair the door opened and Spock climbed in behind him.

“Joining me, darlin’?”

“Yes,” Spock said simply but with a blush. Leonard grinned and let his body relax back against the solid weight of the Vulcan.

It was a delightful experience but Leonard found it overshadowed by a nagging thought he couldn’t quite grasp. He left the shower before Spock finished, passing through the bedroom where Jim was huddled under the blankets. He grabbed trousers and a plaid shirt from one of the wardrobes then moved swiftly into the kitchen where he stopped in front of the window. He didn’t know where to go now.

“You’re being silly,” he quietly berated himself. “What the hell do you think is wrong?”

This isn’t real, the voice in his head whispered again. How could it possibly be? You’re dead, Leonard; you have been for centuries.

“Well maybe…”

No. You know this isn’t right. You don’t belong here; none of you do. You have to go home.

“But I don’t want to,” Leonard admitted, feeling for the first time since he died the pinprick of tears against his eyes.

“You don’t want to what, Bones?”

Leonard spun around. Without him noticing, Jim and Spock had joined him in the kitchen, Spock now fully dressed while Jim was wrapped in a blanket from the bed.

“You seemed upset about something,” Jim said to explain his lack of dress. “What don’t you want, Bones?”

“I don’t want to go back,” Leonard whispered, feeling like he was betraying them just by saying the words. “We have to – I know we have to! – but I don’t want to. I don’t want to lose this…lose you now that I finally have you.”

“You’re not going to lose us,” Jim tried to reassure but he interrupted.

“But it won’t be like this!” he shouted, angry that they didn’t seem to understand. “We can’t be together truly on the Enterprise. I’m dead, Jim! I’ve always been dead!”

“You are not dead here,” Spock said, and when Leonard went to interrupt, to yell, he held up his hand to stop him. “Your state may remain so when we return.”

Leonard let out a pained barked of laughter. There was no humour in it, only bitter darkness and it made Jim and Spock wince.

“No it won’t. I may not understand how I came to be like this here but I know it won’t stay. We’re returning to reality, and in reality I’m dead. I love you both so much but this…this can’t happen there.”

“Are you saying you just want to end us?! Now that we’ve finally admitted that we belong together?!” Jim was furious and Leonard was quick to make his point clear.

“Of course I don’t want us to stop being together!”

“Then I don’t understand what you’re saying!”

“I’m saying that it won’t be the same. You will never touch me like you did last night again!”

That did it. Jim stared at him, horror-struck, just now realising what Leonard’s ghostly state meant for their relationship.

“I’m not going to stop loving you,” Leonard said, voice soft now that Jim understood, “but can you promise that it’ll be enough? That though you can never have me again, you will love me always?”

“Yes.”

It was Spock that answered and Leonard turned to him with pleading eyes.

“We love you,” Spock stated, voice firm and confident but Leonard could see the flicker of fear and pain in his eyes. “We love you and that will not change. We loved you before when we could not touch you; having sampled a taste of what could have been will not change that. We will of course be saddened but we do not only crave you in a sexual manner. We crave all of you.”

“Definitely,” Jim seconded having found his voice. “We need all of you, Bones, and we’ll take whatever we can get.”

For the first time in 244 years, Leonard cried.

*********

The solar storm was set to hit mid-afternoon so they changed back into their uniforms, collected the two unresponsive communicators and made their way to the spot where they had appeared only the day before. If all went to plan, when the storm hit, they would be able to communicate with the Enterprise and be beamed back aboard. It was a plan held together by sheer hope but it was the best they had. Leonard took one final look back at the cabin, wishing that they were free to stay in this perfect world and hating that such thoughts made him feel guilty. They walked into the woods in silence, waiting for Spock to call out that they had reached their arrival point.

“Kirk to Enterprise, can you hear me? Enterprise, please respond.”

Jim repeated the words over and over but the communicator remained silent. They waited, Jim occasionally repeating the request, when Leonard began to feel warmer.

“I think the storm’s about to hit,” he said, just as a flash of orange darted across the sky. The temperature rocked upwards as more lights followed the first, making twisting patterns in the air. Suddenly the communicator crackled into life.

“-aptain? Captain, are ya there lad?”

“Scotty!” Jim yelled, delighted that it had worked. “Can you lock onto to us and beam us up?”

“Aye, aye Captain, just give us a moment.”

Jim and Spock turned to Leonard, each taking one of his hands.

“No matter what, we love you,” they said together.

“I love you too,” Leonard replied and then was blinded by the same white light that had dragged them here in the first place.

When the light faded, they were right where they belonged, in the transporter room of the Enterprise.

“We made it,” Leonard said dazedly. “We actually made it.” He barely noticed that he was no longer holder hands with Jim and Spock as he jumped off the transporter pad and moved what he deemed a safe distance away. He then turned back towards them.

“I love you,” he said, voice wavering with emotion. “I do. I love you both so much and I don’t care that we have to work so hard to be together because it’s worth it! It is so so worth it!”

His broad smile began to fade though when he realised that Jim and Spock were just frowning at him, their eyes burning with something his brain refused to let him recognise.

“Jim? Spock? What’s wrong?”

“We can’t hear you,” Jim said bleakly. “I can see your mouth moving but…we can’t hear you.”

“No. No!” Leonard cried and run up to them, grabbing at their hands. They reached for him too but it was not to be. They passed right through each other.

Leonard stared in shock. He focused all his thoughts on just being able to touch them, to touch one of them but every attempted ended the same. He couldn’t touch them.

They couldn’t hear him and he couldn’t touch them.

He was cut off.

He was alone again.

Chapter Text

Spock sat in the lab, running over some test results from one of last month’s away missions. He was trying to focus on his work but his mind would not settle. It had been three days since Jim, Leonard and himself returned from the alternate world but he had not been able to concentrate for longer than an hour on any of his duties before his mind invariably returned to thoughts of Leonard. It was logical though.

Leonard had not taken well to his lack of presence; he had stayed near Jim and Spock but he did not involve himself. Spock had convinced Jim that they needed to give him time but even the Vulcan was beginning to worry. Leonard drew more and more into himself every day, never smiling, and he had even begun to avoid looking at his lovers. (Spock still considered them that term despite their circumstances – they had made love, were in love and though they could no longer touch one third of their relationship they were still all bound together.) He was not ashamed to admit that it saddened him that Leonard was hurting so but he felt that the best outcome was to give the ghost his space. Leonard had gone through a highly traumatic experience; it would do no good to push.

Having reminded himself that he was doing the right thing by Leonard, he turned back to the test results. He managed to work efficiently for 46.985 minutes this time before he was once again thinking about Leonard. And Jim.

Jim was taking the loss almost as hard as Leonard. Spock had observed in the first months of working as Jim’s First Officer that the blond man was a highly tactile person, needing the reassurance of touch. Spock had indulged him, allowing him to clap him repeatedly on the shoulder or back, for a mental stable captain was an efficient captain. It had soon become that Spock let Jim touch because he knew it made the man happy and he found himself with the irrational urge to gain as many smiles from Jim as possible. When he realised that that was due to his strengthening feelings for Jim, he stopped trying to rationalise his motives when it came to Jim. He remembered how his mother had explained that love, while being highly irrational and emotional, was one of the most precious phenomena in all the universes. He had not really understood what she meant though until Jim. What he had had with Nyota was nice, comfortable even to a certain extent, but he had never considered it extraordinary. With Jim though, and Leonard, he was consumed with thoughts and feelings that, for all his Vulcan upbringing, he found he had no wish to remove.

But Jim had actually lived with less love than himself, and so had taught himself to use touch to feel affection. Now that he and Leonard could no longer touch, and Leonard was finding it so hard to be in their presence, Jim was wilting. Spock had tried to reassure him, with both words and touches of his own, but Jim barely seemed to hear the words and rebuffed the touches with pained glances at Leonard. Spock had concluded that Jim had chosen to go without touch until Leonard had accepted the new circumstances, and while it was admirable and Spock understood the meaning of the gesture, Jim needed touch.

Spock did not sigh but he did pack away his equipment. He would not get his work finished while so distracted. It was best to leave it and find another activity. Perhaps meditation would help bring some clarity to how he should proceed.

*********

Jim lay on his bed in the dark, just staring up at the ceiling. There were glowing star stickers stuck in a swirling pattern like a galaxy that he could simply reach out and touch. They had always brought him comfort before but now they seemed just as unbearable and distant as their real-life counterparts.

“I never thought I’d consider stars unbearable,” he murmured to himself. The stars had always been his home. He was born among them, and even as a kid stuck planet-side he knew that he had to return to them in order to live. But instead of filling him with blazing hope and a drive for the next great adventure, he found himself drifting, lost, cold and alone.

“I always thought you were on my side,” he admitted in a whisper, not just to the stars above his head but the ones all around his ship. “I guess it was time that I learnt that you don’t take sides. You’re stars. And right now I wish I was somewhere else.”

He closed his eyes, picturing the cabin from the alternate world where everything had seemed so perfect. He remembered Leonard curled up between him and Spock, face soft in sleep and so very warm to touch. He remembered smiles and short huffs of laughter while fingers tickled across skin. There was blushing and endearments and the pure sweetness of being so close to the ones you love. And now that was all over.

He understood why Bones felt the need to pull away from them. He didn’t like it, but he did understand. Bones had finally gotten all he wanted but knew that it wasn’t forever. He had accepted that he would only get so much with them, only for that amount to be so drastically reduced that he essentially had nothing. It had been one of the cruellest twists of fate; to give them their deepest desire and then take everything they had away. He supposed that he should have expected it really. The three of them weren’t exactly poster boys for good luck after all.

He sighed and turned onto his side, closing his eyes to the glow of the fake stars. He had never considered them that way before either. He knew they weren’t real but he hadn't felt the need to lesser them. His head was all messed up. He knew he should get up and try and focus on something else but he didn’t have the energy. He wanted to both stop thinking and try to order his thoughts. Neither seemed likely at the moment.

He pulled the blanket up from the bottom of the bed and over his head, hiding himself from everything. Maybe when he re-emerged Bones and Spock would be either side of him.

*********

Leonard stepped silently through the corridors of the Enterprise. Nyota had cornered him earlier and repeated her sentiments from before Jim and Spock had welcomed him into their relationship.

“A relationship just needs people who truly care for each other. And the three of you care more about each other than I have ever seen people care for one another. It may never really feel like enough, even less so now but you don’t know that this is permanent. And even if it is, that doesn’t change that you love each other and that you still have them.”

She was right as usual but that didn’t magically stop all the doubts in Leonard’s head. Jim thrived on touch which Leonard now couldn’t give him so why would the blond bother with him when Spock could give him everything he needed. He wasn’t needed. Spock didn’t like being overwhelmed with affection so Jim would be enough for him too.

Oh do shut up!

Leonard pulled up short at the voice in his head. This one hadn't sounded like him; it had sounded like…

You know what I say about brooding – it’s not good for the soul.

“Noah?” he breathed.

You’re always going to be needed. You’re always going to be wanted. And not just by me. There may come a time when I…when I can’t be here for you but I know, I'm telling you that I god damn know, that you’ll find someone else. How could anyone not love you?

“Noah,” he cried, collapsing to his knees. He remembered all the times Noah had stopped him from ranting and brought him out of his bad moods. He also remembered everything about the day Noah had given him that speech; about how he might have to leave Leonard. It had been on their first anniversary and was one of the few times that they actually acknowledged Noah’s business. They had just finished making love when Noah had come over sombre and proceeded to lay out all his feelings for Leonard. It had touched his heart so much that all he had been able to do was kiss Noah softly and curl up over his heart.

You’re always going to be wanted.

And he was. Jim and Spock wanted him. They wanted him before and they wanted him now. They knew he was ghost, they knew what they were getting into, and they still did everything to reassure him of their love. Well now it was time for him to return the favour. He turned and ran up the corridor to Jim’s room.

He passed through the door, not even taking the time to feel sad about how unreal that was, and saw Jim and Spock asleep together on the bed. There was a space on Jim’s other side – a space for him.

He smiled and moved to lie down, pressing as close as possible without sinking through Jim. He didn’t need to sleep so he would just spend the night watching his lovers rest, moving his body with theirs so that he was always close enough that there appeared to be no gap between their bodies but never letting himself actually phase through them. He was sure they wouldn’t care but it was one of his hang-ups. One he could work around though. He loved them and he had them. Nothing else mattered.

“Thanks Nyota. Thanks Noah.”

Chapter Text

Just because Jim and Spock woke up to Leonard beside them, and Leonard promised that he wasn’t going to leave them, and they all reaffirmed their love for each other, it didn’t mean that life was perfect straight away. They all still had insecurities – big ones that were going to take lots of time to settle – but they had each other and they were willing to try.

So it was that a month later, the crew of the Enterprise was used to the strange relationship between their captain, first officer and the ship’s ghost. Leonard had, after a week of frustration, managed to regain his ability to interact with inanimate objects so he was back to communicating through PADD messages though Nyota was also teaching him sign language. (His fingers had always been rather dexterous so he found it a lot of fun. Especially because Nyota taught him not just useful phrases but also curse words – they would throw them across the bridge at each other then start laughing at other crew members’ confused faces. She was definitely becoming his best friend.) He was getting used to his state again, and was hopeful that with enough time he would have all his previous ghost-skills back. Jim and Spock encouraged this optimistic attitude as much as possible but were really just glad to have their ghostly lover back by their side.

They were happy, the crew was happy, and nothing had blown up for two days. This was of course when Admiral Pike decided call, stating that he had a very important proposal to discuss with Jim, Spock and Leonard (who hadn’t even realised that Jim had informed Pike of his existence) and so was coming into space to meet them. The triad was understandably confused but curious and spent the evening after the call deliberating over what Pike could need to talk to them about. (Jim started the conversion by instantly claiming that he had done nothing wrong of late so it must have been the fault of one of the other two. Leonard had hit him with the PADD for that.)

When Admiral Pike beamed aboard several days later, he was accompanied by a strange being whose body actually looked less solid than Leonard’s. They were vaguely humanoid in shape but they were wispy, like smoke, which made them look insubstantial and ethereal. Jim led their guests to the captain’s Ready Room with Spock and Leonard following closely behind. Their unexpected visitor gained a few looks from passing crew members but most were used by now to strange looking entities or had seen Leonard phase through walls. When they reached the room, Pike turned to introduce the being.

“Jim, Spock, Leonard, it’s good to see you. Allow me to introduce Ambassador Jeitoum of NeXus. They’ve recently joined the Federation but when Jeitoum was explaining some of xyr cultural rites to me I knew I had to bring xem to talk to you.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Ambassador,” Jim said pleasantly. “But what is it that Admiral Pike believes we should discuss?”

“Thank you for your welcome, Captain. You may address me as Jeitoum. And I am here for your ghost.” Jeitoum’s voice matched their appearance, the pitch soft and soothing, but Leonard didn’t focus on that long, more interested in how Jeitoum’s eyes had alighted on him.

“Me?” he asked curiously. “What do I have to do with your culture?” He realised he had spoken aloud and quickly made to type out the question but Jeitoum gestured for him to stop.

“It is more what my culture can do for you, Leonard,” Jeitoum said with a gentle smile. Leonard wasn’t the only one to raise an eyebrow at his being heard but Leonard supposed that it had to do with how Jeitoum didn’t appear quite real. “My people have a sacred ritual. We believe that the spirit is what truly holds the life of a…person. It is the spirit that is needed; the body merely a formality for existing in this world.”

“And what does that mean for me?” Leonard asked uncertainly. He wasn’t sure what was going on but he was really interested. Could the people of NeXus have an explanation of how he was a ghost?

“It means, Leonard, that all a spirit needs is a body. My ancestors created a ritual which could manifest a spirit’s body and thus allow a spirit to return to a permanent life in this world.”

“What did you just say?” Jim was the one to ask this time; Leonard was in too much shock. Did he really hear what he thought he heard?

“Why would your ancestors create such a ritual?” That was Spock.

“Bodies are fragile. They sometimes fail without reason and well before the spirit is ready to leave. Much knowledge is lost that way, when one does not have enough time to pass it on. My ancestors felt it a waste. The ritual is not commonly used – we have no interest in immortality – but there are times when one is lost too soon, a great leader for example, and so xe is brought back by xyr people. Christopher has told me of your plight, Leonard, and so I wish to offer you the sacred ritual. I offer you another chance at life.”

“Yes.” Leonard didn’t take a moment to think. There wasn’t anything to think about. He wanted this. Jeitoum was offering him the answer to everything. He wasn’t going to waste a second hesitating.

“Wait.” Apparently he was alone in his thoughts on not hesitating though.

“Just wait,” Jim said again. Leonard turned to him, ready to type out a furious retort but then he saw the blond’s face. He looked absolutely terrified, as if someone had offered him all his dreams come true but then stated a price. Leonard softened his expression and stepped up to Jim, nodding at him to speak.

“I know you want this, Bones,” he said carefully, “and I want it to.”

“We both do,” Spock threw in and Leonard grinned at him.

“But we have to think this through,” Jim continued. “We have to know exactly what is going to happen to you. There could be any number of risks and we don’t want to lose you.” He turned to Jeitoum. “Could we lose him?”

“Yes,” Jeitoum said simply. Jim looked horrified and Spock was clearly struggling to keep his emotionless mask. Leonard wished he could reach out and calm them with a touch. (But you can’t. Which is why you have to do this, the voice in his head whispered furiously.)

“During the ritual, Leonard’s spirit is sent to retrieve his body. There is always a possibility of the spirit wandering too far and never returning. The spirit must truly want to return.”

Then there is nothing to worry about. All I want is to be with you two.

I want nothing more.

So I’ll come back.

Spock and Jim read his words sceptically but when they looked back up at him they could see that he was serious.

“You do not have to do this,” Spock stated. “We are perfectly happy with having you as you are.”

But I’m not. Not if there’s a chance.

“And if we lose you? What then? How can you expect us to recover from that?” Jim was close to tears so Leonard brought his hand up to cup his cheek. He stopped just short of touching skin.

I don’t believe you’ll lose me. My home is with you.

But if it does go wrong, know that I love you. And you’ll have each other.

You’ll recover. You’ll live. And I’ll see you on the other side.

But you’re going to live first so that you have an eternity’s worth of stories to tell me.

“You’re going to go through with this no matter what we say, aren’t you?” Jim asked and Leonard nodded. Spock came to stand closer to them and Leonard looked at him.

“We love you. Come back to us.”

“I will,” Leonard said, mouthing the words as clearly as possible but also signing them. Jim sniffed, tears running down his cheeks.

“Don’t you dare wander off,” he ordered, sinking into Spock’s side, the Vulcan holding him close. Leonard gave them a soft smile, signed one last message then turned to Jeitoum.

“So how do we do this?”

*********

Leonard was sure he was lying on his back but he was surrounded by darkness. He could no longer hear Jeitoum chanting the words of the ritual. He felt inexplicably both heavy and light, as if he could just float away but something was tying him down. He wondered what it could be that was keeping him from freedom. He couldn’t remember. He had been so sure that it was important but now…

Hadn't there been words? Someone had been saying something. He wished he could shake his head to clear it about he couldn’t move. Why couldn’t he move? And why was it so dark?

He didn’t remember.

He had to do something, he was sure of that. But what? He tried to move again and this time he felt himself shift a little. He kept going until he managed to stand. Was he standing? He had the odd thought that he didn’t have a body, and that seemed rather important. But why wouldn’t he have a body? Everyone had a body.

There was a light now. It wasn’t close. In fact it seemed as far away as a star. What an odd thought. To be thinking of stars. And yet, such a thought felt right, felt like a pat of him. Should he go to the star then?

He took a few steps towards it then stopped. He had something to do. And he didn’t think it was chasing stars. What if it was though? Stars felt…felt…like…HOME.

He should go home…shouldn’t he? He should. But he had to do something.

It was bright behind him now as well, like a door had opened wide and was spilling light from its room. It made the star seem dimmer.

Doors led somewhere. Maybe he should try the door? But stars led places too. He didn’t know where, but he was sure they did. Just like he was sure that he had a name. He couldn’t remember it now though. Maybe it wasn’t important. Maybe he’d get a new one where he went. But where was he going?

Star or door?

Small light or bright light?

Home or…on.

Why did he think it was home though? Surely a door symbolised home more than a star?

He made a decision.

Chapter Text

“Get up you lazy sod. Get up! Do you want to miss your own wedding?”

Jim jumped out of bed, got caught in the bedsheets and fell right down onto the floor with a loud SMACK.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Jim drawled rubbing his head. “I’m just peachy, Bones.”

“Move your hand infant and let me have look.”

Jim sat up properly and let Leonard reach for his head. The doctor’s hands were gentle as they brushed his hair aside and Jim couldn’t help but let out a moan at the caress. Leonard smirked, stroking slightly harder to increase the volume of Jim’s moans then took his hand away.

“You’re a tease, Bones,” Jim said with a pout.

“And you’re not meant to see your lovers before the wedding,” Leonard whispered against his lips.

“That only counts for brides,” Jim replied, trying to brush their lips in a kiss but Leonard pulled away.

“Does Spock in his fancy Vulcan robe count?” Leonard asked with a grin.

“Just kiss me,” Jim ordered, so Leonard did.

“Now get up,” Leonard said with a tap to Jim’s head. “Or you’ll be late to your own wedding.”

“I’m moving, I’m moving,” Jim groaned. Leonard watched for a minute, just to make sure, then left. He might as well check on his hobgoblin as well now.

*********

“I believe you said it was tradition that the ones getting married did not see each other on the day of the wedding until it was time for the ceremony.”

“I did but I had to check Jim so screw tradition,” Leonard explained then pulled Spock in for a kiss.

“You are nervous,” Spock observed once they broke apart.

“A bit,” Leonard admitted. “But I’m also very excited.”

“Indeed. Perhaps I should attempt to calm you down?” Spock suggested, face innocent but Leonard had had plenty of practise at reading him.

“As enjoyable as that sounds,” he said with a smirk “I must decline. I have to get ready as well. See you at the altar?”

“I will be there, Leonard.”

Leonard gave him a Vulcan kiss then made his way to his own room. He really did need to get ready.

*********

“You okay, Bones?”

“I’m fine.”

“If you do not feel well Leonard-”

“Honestly I’m fine! I just never expected this.”

“It had been rather a rollercoaster, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah. I guess I just…I never thought about after the ritual. Not really. All I cared about was touching you again.”

“I don’t think Vulcans welcome exhibitionism – OW!”

“Leonard did not mean that type of touch. He meant in general.”

“I know that, I was just teasing. There was no need for that.”

“I thought I would demonstrate other forms of touching.”

“Well, as touching as this is, we have a date with an altar. You ready darlin’s?”

“Ready, Bones. I love the pair of you, you know.”

“We are aware. I ashaya du t'nash-veh t'hylara.”

“And I love you two as well.”

“Then let’s go get married.”

“Agreed,” Spock and Leonard said simultaneously, and together the three of them walked through the hall doors to where their family waited to see them bound together for the rest of their lives. Leonard smiled as he linked took the hands of the men on either side of him.

Life was perfect. Thank the universe for second chances.