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Boyfriend. Phil hadn’t meant to say it, not so soon— it just slipped out, after Dan tackled him into the snow and Phil finished screaming. Fuck you. You’re the worst boyfriend ever.
Dan had been giggling, enjoying his moment of victory a little too much, if you asked Phil, but he stilled at those words. “Boyfriend?” he asked.
“Is that— is that okay?” Phil asked, looking into Dan’s wide brown eyes.
Dan nodded feverishly. “Yeah. I— yeah.” He tucked his head into the neck of Phil’s jacket. “It’s really okay,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around Phil and holding him closer.
“Good,” Phil said. He meant it, he really did, but he couldn’t help but use the opportunity to shove a handful of snow down the back of Dan’s coat.
Dan screamed and scrambled away. “Phil!”
“Sorry,” Phil said, giggling. It was probably obvious that he didn’t mean it.
“You’ll regret that,” Dan said, packing snow in his hands to form a snowball.
“You started it,” Phil whined, forming his own snowball in self-defense, but if the snowball that broke across Phil’s glasses was any indication, Dan didn’t care.
Phil tried to throw back, but his aim wasn’t as good as Dan’s, and he missed. Even through the snow on his glasses, he could see the ball make impact more than a metre away from its target.
Dan cackled maniacally and threw another snowball.
“Stop, stop!” Phil said, swiping at his glasses with a gloved hand and trying to dodge Dan’s throws, until he got close enough to pull Dan back down into the snow with him.
Dan landed on his chest with an oof, and the noise reverberated through Phil’s bones, warming him from the inside out.
“Idiot,” Dan said, scrabbling up to a sitting position. “I could have crushed you.”
Phil grinned, pushing up to wrap an arm loosely around Dan’s waist. “Please. I’m too strong and manly to be crushed.”
Dan rolled his eyes and shoved Phil off. “Shut up,” he said, and if they hadn’t been on the front lawn, Phil would have kissed him.
“Let’s go inside,” Phil said.
“But there's still more to film,” Dan said earnestly.
I don’t care, Phil wanted to say, I just want to be with you, but he knew they only had so long to film before Dan had to leave. “I’m all cold and wet now,” he said. “Hot cocoa first? And then we can film the inside bits. The presents, maybe?”
After they warmed up, they went back up to Phil’s room. Phil set up the camera while Dan stared hungrily at his every move.
“I thought you’d be sick of watching me film by now,” Phil said. “Doesn’t seeing how much of a mess all my videos are behind the scenes get boring?”
“No,” Dan said. “I could never get bored of you.” Unbearably honest.
Phil looked at him, just out of the corner of his eyes, like Dan was too bright to look at straight on. “I—” The words got stuck in his throat. “Everyone else thinks it’s weird.”
Dan snorted. “Idiots.”
Phil ducked his head, smiling. He sat back. “Ready?” he asked.
“Ready,” Dan confirmed, holding up his notebook with his ideas scribbled down in it. “This one?” he asked, pointing to one of them.
“Yeah,” Phil confirmed.
Dan put the notebook to the side. “Okay. Let’s go.” He cleared his throat and adjusted his shoulders, looking like he was about to start doing vocal warmups just for one of Phil’s stupid YouTube sketches. They didn’t deserve the amount of effort Dan put into them, Phil thought, but Dan didn’t do anything halfway.
Dan glanced to the side, noticing Phil looking at him. “What?” he asked.
Phil shook his head. “Nothing. I’m ready.”
Dan turned back to face the camera and smiled. “Congratulations,” Dan said to the lens. “You’ve won a copy of me and Phil’s sex tape!”
Phil bit his lip, trying not to laugh, but he let out a snort anyways.
“Now we have to do it again,” Dan chided. “Come on. Don’t laugh this time.” He elbowed Phil, trying to stop the giggling. “I’m serious!”
“Fine, fine,” Phil said, trying to compose himself. “I’m being serious, this is my serious face.”
“Good,” Dan admonished, turning back to the camera. “Congratulations! You’ve won a copy of me and Phil’s sex tape.”
Martyn walked past Phil’s open door and paused, raising an eyebrow, but “It's Phil and I,” was all he said.
Phil rolled his eyes at the correction. “We’re just—”
Martyn cut him off. “I don’t think I want to know.” He shook his head as he walked away.
Phil pressed his lips together, but when he looked at Dan, neither of them could stop themselves from bursting into laughter.
Dan slept in Phil’s bed that night, the way he always had, even though Phil’s mum had offered to make up the spare room for him. What will they think? Dan had asked.
I don’t care, Phil had replied.
Now, he listened for the sound of Dan moving around next to him, and rolled over to face him.
Dan was already looking at Phil. “Boyfriend,” he said, smiling. “You’re my boyfriend.”
“Yeah,” Phil said. “And you’re mine.” He grinned, unable to hold it back.
“Yours,” Dan said, like a promise. His eyes met Phil’s in the dark. “Phil… I’m serious about this, you know? I really am. I’ve never….” He trailed off, unusually lost for words.
“I know,” Phil said, squeezing his hand. “Me too.”
“You’re not just saying that?” Dan asked.
“No!” Phil said, fighting back a twinge of hurt. He knew Dan’s insecurity wasn’t really about him. “I mean it. I really do.”
“Good,” Dan said, tucking his head into the corner of Phil’s neck. “Boyfriend,” he whispered again in the dark, saying it like a prayer. “My boyfriend.”
Phil pulled him in closer. “Yours,” he whispered.