Work Text:
Kal shuffles forward, aiming to gather the knife from the very much better be actually dead god. He doesn’t know what he’d do if this was just another one of his tricks. It can’t be. Because if it is that means that none of this is real and he can’t handle another loop. Not after everything he’s been through.
Between himself and the dagger, his sibling inch ahead. Behind him, Luca and Spite mutter reassurances without even knowing if he’d hear them. It helps more than he’s willing to admit. After all, his Luca struck true. He knows his boyfriend wouldn’t do something like that just to trick him.
Aloe reaches the pulsing, glowing dagger in the god’s chest, ripping it out with the flair only she could ever properly manage. A momentary blindness. A shot of air rushing past. A buzz in the ambient magic, and a shift in the power he can feel around him. He blinks. His siblings are gone.
A hand lands on his shoulder. A simple reminder that Luca and Spite are right here for him. He… Should he really even approach the god lying on the ground? Does he really want to know either way? This could so easily be just another loop.
“You’ve got this, Kal. You’re strong. A lot stronger than you think, at any rate. Spite and I are here for you.” Kal hears some of the others start to yell. They cry out for his siblings. Kal doesn’t care for this one moment. He’s only got so much care in him right now and all of it is focused on the lump a few feet away. “Ready?” Luca’s voice is soft, softer than he deserves, and all the more ready to support him.
Kal nods, taking the last few hesitant steps towards the managed form. Sharpening the senses he’d long since stopped caring to use, Kal finds all of Ghili’nan’s magic flowing away from her and dispersing into the surround land. She’s… She’s actually dead then?
No. He has to be certain before he lets hope in like that again. Taking a deep, anxious breath, Kal bends down to check for any form of pulse. Nothing. The body lays still as the stone beneath it.
She’s dead. A god actually lays dead at his feet. This really isn’t a loop, then?
“Aloe? Esha?” He swallows hard. “Moni?” His voice cracks, pitiful and small as he falls to his knees. This isn’t a loop. This is real life. His siblings are actually gone forever. He… All this time, all the years of broken spirits and false hopes, and he finally finds himself free for what? A life of solitude?
Sobs rip from his throat as painful, agonizing emotion slices through his heart, crushing the remaining shards in moments. He can’t do this. He can’t go on knowing he got all three of his siblings killed in exchange for the life of a god.
“Kal?” He doesn’t deserve Luca. Or Spite. If he’s too broken to even find a shred of hope until it’s too late, then there’s literally nothing he can offer the older crow. He should just stay here and let Elgar’nan have him. It would be so much less painful than the prospect of living in the real world without the people he grew up with.
“Come on. We need to head back to the Lighthouse. There’s nothing more to be done here.” He doesn’t want to. He doesn’t really want to do anything anymore. Not when there’s nothing waiting for him.
Kal’s eyes crack open to blurred shapes as he finds a soothing set of fingers running through his long, tangled hair. He doesn’t deserve the comfort. Not when he’s so much of a failure that he—
“Kal.” Why is Dad here? He’s got his own things to worry about. “I know the past couple of months have been hard on you. I know I taught you that it’s alright to ask for help when you need it.” Kal simple adjusts so he’s deeper in his silk blanket.
There’s no reason for Dad to want to comfort him after— “Why are you here?” He mutters. It’s barely even a whisper and so pathetic that it would have been better if he hadn’t said anything at all.
“You’re hurting.” He’s never heard Dad this soft or fond in his entire life. “It’s my job to do what I can for you, even if I’m inexperienced in soothing you.” Spite finds his way between Kal’s arms, sized perfectly for a good snuggle. Kal just squeezes the spirit and lets himself fall back asleep. If Dad wants to waste his time, that’s on him.
Stumbling back from the forced intervention of a bath, food, and drink, Kal collapses back into the too-big bed with too many pillow and too many blankets so he can clutch the too-cold pillows from his siblings. Their smell’s fading. It’s been weeks. They probably aren’t coming back no matter how much Emmrich searches the Fade for them.
He has to live with the fact that he’s ruined everything with the stupid emotions he’d never asked for in the first place and it hurts every last shred of him remaining. Luca claimed it gets better with time. Kal doesn’t believe him. How could it ever get better when Kal can’t even find a reason to function like a real person?
Kal sobs silently into the pillow with Aloe’s fading perfume. It should have been him. At least then there’d be someone here to lead instead of be the waste of space Kal’s proving to be.
“Kalias. Please get out of bed.” It’s Emmrich. Kal doesn’t really care. There’s not a point to it, anyway. “I believe I’ve located the others. I’d like for you to be present when they return.” It doesn’t matter. All he’s going to find at this point is corpses.
Luca’s strong hands pull him out of bed and throw him over Luca’s shoulder. “I told you words wouldn’t work.”
“Yes, but it was something we had to try before resorting to physicality.” Kal doesn’t even bother to attempt an escape. There’s no point. It’s not like he has much to live for at this point.
Luca throws him on one of the stairs in the courtyard, ordering him to stay there while Luca takes up a seat on his side. He’s not to make a break for the deeper currents of the Fade, then. Well, whatever. Not like it would be hard to get to if he actually felt like trying.
Emmrich starts a spell, the swirling green of his magic forming a large, mirrored circle. The Necromancer’s sweating a bit. It’s no wonder, given the large amount of magic necessary for a spell like that.
It takes several minutes before a blurred grey form appears on the other side. Davrin rushes forward, plunging a hand in before eagerly ripping Esha from her hidden prison.
Kal’s mouth goes dry. His siblings aren’t dead? Just… Missing? Kal didn’t screw everything up? There’s still the chance to see them again even though Kal’s nothing but a massive fuck up?
Something distinctly like hope plants itself in his heart despite his reservations. “I know it’s hard for you right now,” Luca whispers. “But I hope this helps if even just a bit.” His eyes are already searching every inch of his older sister, looking for any sign that it’s not actually her. He can’t find a single one.
“E-Esha?” There’s more life in that one single, half whispered word than Kal’s managed in months. Salty tears prick at his eyes, stinging away. His sister catches his gaze from her spot in Davrin’s arms.
She smiles at him despite the tears running down her face. He can’t handle how soft and warm it is. Those tears fall freely as she stalks towards him, soon encasing him in a tight hug. It’s more than he’d thought he’d ever get again.
He blinks away the painful liquid just in time to see a much shorter redhead swaying towards him. Harsh breaths are all he can manage as Kal does his best to keep in control of his raging emotions. Fingers run through his hair as mild teasing reaches his ears. He doesn’t even care about the itchy fabric pressing against him in this moment. It’s enough that—
Kal’s eyes widen as his little brother comes stumbling out. A pained, feral sob racks his body. How could he have been so stupid? Here he was, having all the time in the world with his siblings, and instead of embracing them, he let his own stupid emotions tell him they weren’t actually real. He’s been such a dumbass.
There’s no longer any control his ugly, pitiful sobbing as fat tears roll down his face, soaking someone’s already dirty armor. Kal doesn’t even care. How could he when he’s just watched a miracle happen in front of his very eyes?