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Spite know’s something’s wrong. Their body stings and burns and aches and breaks like every other battle they’ve ever been in but there’s something wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. It’s too quiet. Where’s Lucanis? Why does Lucanis not grumble and complain and swoon for Kal when Kal’s right here checking on them.
“Luca!?” Kal cries, tears in his pretty, pretty eyes and hot red streaking his body around those delicious lyrium tattoos.
“Lucanis doesn’t respond!” Spite cries. “Why won’t he respond?!” Spite grabs their Kal. Their pretty, brave, caring Kal. Their Kal who’ll figure this out. He needs to find Lucanis! Lucanis has to be here somewhere!
Why can’t Spite find him!?
“Luca?” No! Their Kal shouldn’t sound so broken! Kal should never sound broken! They have to find Lucanis! They have to fix this!
“Can’t. Find. Lucanis! Must. Find. Lucanis!” Claws dig into their Kal. Wings flair, and teeth sharpen. Lucanis… Lucanis is not here. Why? Why is Lucanis no longer here?
Their body cracks and shifts, breaks and reforms, slips and snags. Their Kal’s arms wrap around their disformed body. “Spite. Please stop.” Kal chokes out. “Please…” Their Kal doesn’t beg. He shouldn’t have to. Spite can’t understand why their Kal is begging.
“Where… Is… Lucanis?” Spite hurts and he doesn’t know why.
Their Kal grabs their face. “Spite, look at me.” Their Kal doesn’t look like that. Their Kal doesn’t cry. Their Kal doesn’t look at them like he’s lost something so very important to the core of his being. “Luca’s…” He swallows harshly. “Lu— Luca’s…” Why can’t Kal say it? What does their Kal want to tell them?
“Kal?” Their voice doesn’t sound right anymore. He doesn’t know why but he wants Lucanis to tell him.
Their Kal sobs, falling into them even though they’re not quiet the right shape anymore. “Luca’s… Luca’s dead, Spite. He’s not coming back. Like Manfred.”
“NO!” That can’t be! Curiosity never came back! Lucanis has to! Lucanis must come back! He can’t be alone! Not when Lucanis has always been here in their body. “LUCANIS. MUST. RETURN.” He doesn’t sound like him. He doesn’t sound like Spite. He can’t be Spite. Spite is supposed to be with Lucanis and Lucanis isn’t here.
He can’t be spite, so why is he still trying to be? He’s not spite. He’s hurt and confused and scared but not spite. Who is he supposed to be without spite and without Lucanis.
“Spite!” He’s so much taller than he was. He’s not supposed to be taller than their Kal. “I know it’s hard, but please come back to me?” Why is Kal crying more? Is it because of him? He’s hurting their Kal! “I’m not going to lose you both. Please don’t make me.”
“Kal. Our Kal. Our beautiful, strong, brave Kal.” Why does their Kal collapse to his knees. No! Can’t hurt Kal! Can’t! That’s not something Spite does! He has to be Spite because their Kal needs Spite.
He reaches for their Kal with a hand much more human than it was moments ago. He has to be Spite because that’s the only way he can comfort their Kal. Their Kal won’t be able to deal with all of this without Spite and Spite has to be there for their Kal.
Spite has to be Spite because Lucanis isn’t here anymore and Spite has to comfort his Kal because Lucanis won’t be able to ever again. Spite finds himself crying as he holds his Kal.
Why did Lucanis have to die?