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“Hey,” El softly says, placing her hand on his shaking leg to still it. “I will find her.”
Holly has been missing and there’s this terrible knot twisting inside him that makes it hard to breathe. Like his hands are tied and there’s nothing he can do.
“Yeah, no, I know,” he mumbles but the anxious bouncing doesn’t stop. “It’s just—I’m scared.” He exhales shakily. “I’m really scared.”
His voice falls quiet on the last syllable, nearly cracking at the edges with vulnerability he rarely shows or displays.
Because he has to hold it together. For Nancy. For his mom.
He can’t allow himself to be scared or fall into weakness. He has to be strategic and smart, someone everyone else is able to lean onto. Someone everyone else can fall into, knowing he’d catch them.
But he’s so tired.
Of pretending like he isn’t scared. Of pretending like he’s strong enough to carry the weight of everyone’s gravity.
But here in the wooden cabin, surrounded by no one but the presence of the girl he loves, he allows himself to wear his heart on his sleeve.
“Mike.” Her voice is gentle as she reaches for his hand, holding it in hers. She squeezes his hand to ground him to this moment, sun-caught eyes finding his. “I’ll find her, I promise. She’s going to be okay.”
He shifts, turning more fully toward her. His hands wrap around hers, holding it tight as his thumb traces her knuckles in a featherlight touch. “I know. I really do. I’m scared for Holly but also… this whole—thing. I’m just—” He swallows. “I’m scared for you, El.”
The words land between them, defenseless and raw, a reverberation of every time he’s been panic-stricken at the thought of losing her.
Her expression shifts, a determined and fierce glint reflecting in her eyes. “I’ll be okay,” she says steadily. “You have to trust me.”
“Of course I trust you.” His voice catches. “But I can’t—I don’t—“ he stumbles over his words, a soft and broken breath leaving him as his eyes momentarily flutter shut. “I need you.”
Something flickers in her eyes, a deep understanding that mirrors his ache. She cups his cheek, her thumb brushing over his skin, tracing the sun-kissed stars littered in lone constellations.
The relentless movement of his legs slowly cease like her touch is the remedy to soothe the loud fears in his head. His lips twitch toward a small smile he can’t stop if he tries. His eyes soften, big, unguarded and earnest, looking at her like she’s everything to him.
The air he breaths. The center of the world.
Like everything essential is in this boarded up cabin. Like the sunlight filtering through the creeks is brighter than a cloudless noon in mid-July.
She leans in, her forehead touching his, the tips of their noses grazing in familiarity. “I know. I need you, too.”
He exhales, nodding as one of his hands cups her cheek. He doesn’t have to say anything anymore, all he does is surrender.
He sheds himself from what he’s supposed to be for everyone. He doesn’t feel brave right now but he feels held.
And that’s enough.