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Fluixon sat elegantly on Saparata’s bed, legs folded underneath him and to the side, hands lightly grazing the soft, clean bedsheets, eyes cast downwards.
“Saps. What exactly is it that you want from me?”
His dark eyes pulled Saparata into their depths as he looked up. How was it possible? Fluixon was more beautiful in this moment than ever before.
“Do you want revenge? No one will mind, you know, if you kill me. If you do something worse. No one will think lesser of you.”
Saparata’s throat felt dry. It was hard to breathe.
“...Something worse…?” He tried to ask. His voice cracked.
Fluixon’s eyes narrowed as he softly huffed. “What, you want me to describe it? Fine.” He reached out and took Saparata’s hand, guiding it over his body. “You can break my legs. Shatter my ankles.” Saparata’s hand trembled as it slid up Fluixon’s waist. “Tie me down. Crush my ribs.” Saparata weakly tugged away as his hand approached Fluixon’s collarbone, but Fluixon’s grip was firm. “Choke me. Put me on a leash. Walk me around, in front of everyone.”
Fluixon mischievously smiled. “Saparata, is that what you want?”
Saparata’s head was pounding. Fluixon had to stop- no, he had to stop this himself. “No. You’re a person who deserves respect. I don’t- I don’t want any of that.”
Fluixon tilted his head. “Oh? Really. Which ones don’t you like? I understand. I’ll never bring them up again.”
No, no, no. This was all wrong.
Fluixon continued. “You don’t want to break my legs? You don’t want to stop me from walking away? That’s okay with me. I’ll get up and leave you here right now.”
“No! Don’t-” Saparata clutched the fabric of Fluixon’s shirt. His face burned. Fluixon hadn’t even moved away yet. “Don’t leave… please.”
Fluixon’s voice was gentle, “Okay. I won’t.”
Saparata couldn’t meet Fluixon’s eyes. “I just… I want…”
“Yes? What is it?” Fluixon hummed.
“...I just want you to stay with me forever.” His voice came out weak.
“Okay. Just for you, Saps.” Fluixon murmured. “But is that really it? You don’t want…” Fluixon placed a cold hand on Saparata’s thigh. “This?” He brought Saparata’s hand up to cradle his cheek, and leaned in so close that his breath touched Saparata’s lips. “Or this?”
He smelled like coffee and vanilla. Fluixon, his one and only enemy, his one and only- he was so close. Saparata was going to lose his mind.
At the lack of response, a playful glint shone in Fluixon’s eyes as he whispered, “Which would you like first, master?”
Saparata jerked away. “Don’t- Don’t call me that.”
Fluixon looked delighted. “Ohhh? You don’t like it? I’m sorry, sir, I won’t do it again.”
Saparata couldn’t look in his direction at all. “You- You need to treat yourself with respect. Don’t call anyone that.”
“Really? But I don’t deserve any respect. I killed so many people, you know. I made everyone target you for my own crimes. Everyone knows what happened now. You have the right to do anything to me. Isn’t that right, sir?”
Saparata’s hands trembled. He couldn’t focus his thoughts at all. What was happening?
“Saps. Look at me. Answer me. Tell me what you want.” Fluixon ordered.
His authoritative voice sounded so natural.
Saparata felt his knees go weak. He easily complied. “...I want to touch your neck. …Please.”
“Good boy. So polite.” The warmth of Fluixon’s praise put Saparata at ease. His whole body felt hot. He watched Fluixon’s fingers gracefully undo the top two buttons of his dress shirt. Fluixon had told him he couldn’t look away. “Come closer. Touch me.”
Saparata nodded. He moved closer on his knees.
Fluixon didn’t lean away at all, simply exposing his neck. His dark eyes tracked Saparata.
As Saparata’s fingertips brushed the smooth skin, his mind completely emptied of coherent thought. He could feel the pulsing of Fluixon’s heartbeat. He could feel the Adam’s apple, the vibrating of the voice box as Fluixon hummed with satisfaction. He could feel the baby hairs at the back. He could wrap his hands around, and hold Fluixon’s entire existence between his palms.
Fluixon laughed. His breath floated by Saparata’s lips. “Don’t forget to breathe, darling.”
It was all too much. Saparata’s hands dropped to Fluixon’s shoulders as he ducked his head. He took a shuddering inhale. Exhale.
…Why was it that he had to stop again?
“You like it that much? You’ve hardly done anything yet.” Fluixon’s voice held a note of wonder.
“I…”
It’s because it’s you.
“You like me, right? It’s okay. I know.” Fluixon hummed. “Are you happy?”
“...Yes.” Saparata answered.
“What next? Hmmm, my chest? My arms? My mouth? Which one’s your favorite, I wonder. You stare all the time, you know.”
“...”
“Tell me, Saps. What do you want?”
“...I want to hold your hand,” Saparata answered.
“Okay. So obedient,” Fluixon praised with a laugh.
Fluixon brought their hands up together, intertwining their fingers. Left hand, right hand.
Saparata felt his fingers respond on their own, curling down between Fluixon’s knuckles. Fluixon’s hands were cold. His fingers were wider and more calloused than Saparata’s own. His palms were larger.
It was strange. Their hands, so familiar to themselves, were strangers to each other. Their heartbeats were not in sync. Saparata committed every detail to memory. He wanted this to become familiar.
He wanted Fluixon to become his.
“Your desires are so simple, Saps. It’s okay to want more, you know. I’m all yours.”
Saparata leaned forward so their foreheads touched. He closed his eyes. Like this, all he could feel was Flux. “...I know.”
“Mhm. Good.” Fluixon didn’t move away.
“…Flux. I love you.” Saparata felt content. Fluixon was here, with him. Until the end of time, nothing else mattered.
“Mhm. I love you too.” Fluixon hummed.
Saparata smiled into the warm darkness.
And the world breathed in, and the world breathed out.
And everything was going to be okay.