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At first, there was peace in the halls of Wiskayok High School.
With the beginning of the Gen and Jackie relationship, Shauna and Melissa were free to suck face every which way from Sunday, wherever they damn well pleased. Jackie was way more relaxed as a captain, everyone on the squad was grateful for the lack of simmering tension between both duos that had been a real buzz kill the last couple months.
But quickly, their friends and loved ones noticed one downside of the new couple: they were somehow even more annoying and public about it than Shauna and Melissa.
Shauna and Melissa were wrapped up in each other like a big gay burrito, kissing each other at their lockers and constantly walking hand in hand to every class, clogging up the hallways like lesbian cholesterol.
Gen and Jackie were a bit more…let’s say effusive in their affection. One morning Gen was standing at her locker, talking to Mari, when she was suddenly shoved full force into the metal. Mari snarled, prepared to kill whoever was hate criming her friend.
But when she realized that this person was actually Jackie, and that Jackie followed it up by pining Gen against the locker and unhinging her jaw to stick her tongue down Gen’s throat, Mari backed away slowly.
Mari would get into a physical altercation for Gen, no doubt. But the last thing she wanted to do was interrupt foreplay. Or piss off Jackie Taylor.
Jackie also suggested (read: forced) everyone around them to refer to her and Gen as “Genackie,” which induced eye rolls aplenty from their peers.
“I’m glad Cap’s finally getting laid,” Nat started while whispering conspiratorially to Tai and Van. They were hiding in the car corner of the locker room, afraid they might get caught by their gregarious, terrifying leader. Who seemed to have ears in every corner. “But I’m not calling her and Gen that dumb fucking name.”
“Genackie?” Tai stated the name incredulously. “It doesn’t even sound good. It sounds like a cat hacking up a hairball.”
“Or a Norwegian falling down.” Van added with a grin. The three made their way back over to the rest of the team, where Jackie and Shauna were bickering in front of their lockers.
“We’re not calling you ‘Genackie,’” Shauna said with a sigh.
“I call you guys by your couple name!” Jackie pouted, hoping it would work.
“We didn’t ask you to!” It didn’t. Shauna was growing exasperated.
“Aw, but Shaunahat’s cute!” Jackie honest-to-god stomped her foot. Shauna and Melissa rolled their eyes while Gen just smiled, hearts in her eyes.
“You only call us that because you didn’t know what my name was at first,” Melissa interjected.
“Well, we don’t need to get into the details,” Jackie waved it off with her hand. Shauna and Melissa sighed and walked out of the locker room to practice, Jackie and Gen–sorry, Genackie–following closely behind.
After practice, Shauna and Melissa climbed into the front seat of Shauna’s car. And after waiting a moment, Gen and Jackie climbed into the back seat. Shauna started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.
She was heading to drop off Jackie and Gen first. Despite Jackie having her own car she still insisted on Shauna driving her. When Shauna began dating Melissa, that added a second stop on the list. Now Shauna was running a full carpool with Gen included. Luckily, after school Gen and Jackie usually went to Jackie’s house so it was just one stop (since Melissa was always going home with Shauna to Shauna’s empty house).
She glanced into the rearview mirror and caught the two in an incredibly compromised position, making out, feeling each other up, Gen practically in Jackie’s lap. Shauna quickly glanced away, almost nauseous. She glanced over to Melissa, who had clearly also seen too much from her own glance back there.
“We’re not that bad, are we?” Shauna asked, concerned.
“If we are, we try not to do it in public,” Melissa responded. It was a lie, but it made both of them feel better. “Do you think Jackie’s mom is going to say something about her daughter coming home with about seventeen visible hickies?”
“Mrs. Taylor is probably three glasses deep on her second bottle of wine, I don’t know that she’ll even know that Gen is there. She’s probably just gonna assume she’s seeing double.” Gen and Jackie were still doing the “dressing the same” thing. Shauna and Melissa borrowed each other’s clothes, but Gen and Jackie looked like twins whose parents put them in different colors of the same clothes. It’d be kinda cute if they weren’t playing grab ass while doing it.
“Attention horny lesbians in my back seat!” Shauna announced to the car. Gen and Jackie slowed enough to hear her, but notably did not stop. “Please keep it to dry hump or below back there, I do NOT want to have to hose down my car today!”
When they pulled up in front of Jackie’s house, they were at least still respecting Shauna’s request. Shauna cut the engine and waited for them to get out of the car. Nothing. She looked over at Melissa. “Your turn.”
Melissa groaned and turned her head with her eyes shut. They would hear her but she would not see them. “DYKES, DETACH!” She clapped her hands, hoping all the noise would shock them into submission. It mostly worked.
Once they finally got a hold of themselves, Shauna looked back into the rearview. “Rides over, lovebirds. Time to take the show on the road.”
Jackie slapped her hands down on the back of Shauna’s seat. “Shipman, I forgot to tell you, I had a brainstorm!”
Shauna sighed and rubbed her temples. “For the thousandth time, Jackie, that’s not how you use that–”
“We should do a double date!” Jackie said, her eyes wide and sparkling. Shauna turned and looked at her, saw her face, and looked at Melissa.
“She’s not going to take no for an answer, you know that right?” Shauna asked Melissa, who looked at Gen. Gen was looking at Jackie like a rainbow was shining out of her ass.
“Yeah, we’re screwed,” was all Melissa said back to Shauna.
“Oh, come on guys, it’ll be fun!” Gen said, and Jackie reached back to squeeze Gen’s hand.
“Yeah, a Genackie and Shaunahat double date!” Jackie said and both Shauna and Melissa groaned. They harmonized, somehow. Okay, Beach Boys, go off.
“Please stop calling us that,” Shauna said, staring her best friend in the eyes, in the hopes that she could create a psychic link strong enough to explode Jackie’s head. Or at least knock her out for a few hours.
“Why can’t you use my real name?” Melissa whined. Shauna had grown used to that slightly annoying aspect of Melissa’s personality. She weighed the cons with the pros. She may whine, but she’s great with her tongue. Shauna could put up with some whining.
“It would sound terrible,” Jackie tried to sound reasonable.
“What, like…Mauna? Shaulissa?” Melissa tried throwing out some options.
“Those suck.” Jackie said.
“Yeah!” Gen was jumping in to back up her girlfriend, finally having caught her breath from the heavy petting session.
“Sorry, baby, but they are pretty bad.” Shauna said, before sighing. “Shaunahat it is.”
“Oh, come on!” Melissa turned to look out the window. Fuck all of them.
Well, in reality, she was two-thirds of the way there already.
“So, it’s settled then. Saturday night, we’ll do a Genackie/Shaunahat double date!” Jackie clapped her hands before launching herself out of Shauna’s car before anyone could veto her. Melissa and Gen said goodbye before Gen climbed out, and Shauna drove away.
Shauna and Melissa pulled up in front of Jackie’s house to pick up Jackie and Gen. They had not been told what their plans were or if they needed to dress a certain way, so they were both dressed extremely casually, with the hopes that they may be able to sneak off at some point during the evening for some extracurricular fun.
Shauna honked her horn twice, then turned to Melissa. “You know, this is why Jackie called you Hat for so long,” Shauna said while tapping on the disgusting pink hat sitting backwards on her head.
“I’m sorry that I have a signature look,” Melissa grinned. “Besides, you know you love it.”
“I love taking it off of you.” Shauna looked her up and down and added, with a grin, “among other things.”
Jackie and Gen bounded down Jackie’s front yard to the car. They hopped in the backseat, somehow holding hands the whole way. God, they made Shauna and Melissa look well adjusted. Before Shauna shifted into drive, she turned to face the couple in her back seat.
“So, where are we headed?” Shauna was glad to catch them before they started locking lips.
“Domenico’s!” Jackie said.
“One Up Arcade!” Gen said…at the same time. They looked at each other.
“I had a whole plan for us to go to get dinner, Italian food, we could do a whole Lady and the Tramp thing!” Jackie said indignantly. Shauna and Melissa looked at each other queasily.
“Well I had a whole plan for us to go to the arcade where I’d win you a huge stuffed animal that we would then raise as our child.” Gen said. Melissa rolled her eyes and Shauna scoffed.
“I love that sweetheart, but isn’t dinner a much better idea for a double date? We can all sit around and talk and relax?” Jackie’s voice was slightly sharp, the pet name coming out with more force than necessary. Melissa raised her eyebrows at Shauna.
“It’s a great idea darling, but I think an arcade would be much more fun. We can hang out together and then have space when we want to go be on our own.” Shauna smirked at Melissa. Translation: fuck in the bathroom.
Shauna leaned over. “Why are they talking to each other like I Love Lucy?” She murmured, hoping they wouldn’t hear her.
“I don’t know, but one of us should probably step in before they get into some sort of argument and ruin the night.” Melissa replied. They stared at each other for a few moments, before Shauna sighed. Melissa won that game of chicken.
“Hey, Jax? Gen?” Shauna addressed the bickering couple. “Why don’t we do both? Go to dinner, then hit up the arcade after? Then you can do whatever weird shit each of you were planning on without the other one getting overruled.”
Jackie and Gen looked at each other, and smiled. “That sounds wonderful.” Gen said, while looking only at Jackie. Jackie leaned in for a kiss, which Gen reciprocated. Shauna cleared her throat before it moved any further.
“Can we please keep the making out to a minimum this early? I understand later but you just got in my car. Don’t make me have to break out the air fresheners this early.” Jackie and Gen stopped, but stayed tangled up in each other while Shauna pulled away from the curb.
The quartet walked into Domenico’s, and Jackie marched them all to the hostess stand with several other parties watching them bypass the line. Jackie stepped up and before the hostess could even take a breath Jackie was already speaking.
“Reservation for a table of four under the name Genackie Shaunahat?” Jackie said and Shauna audibly, dramatically groaned, tossing her head back to allow it to get extremely guttural. The hostess, nonplussed, grabbed four menus and walked them back to a booth in the corner next to a window.
Shauna and Melissa went to sit next to each other but Jackie pushed Melissa away, earning a growl from Shauna. “Couples sit across from each other,” Jackie scolded, shoving Shauna into the booth and taking the spot next to her.
“Who died and made you the queen of double dates?” Shauna asked as Melissa slid across from her, with Gen sliding in last.
“Shauna, you of all people should know how great I am at double dates. Remember you, me, Jeff and Randy?” Jackie asked and Shauna rolled her eyes.
“Remember? Randy blew his straw wrapper down my shirt and Jeff had to hold me back from ripping out his eyeballs with my bare hands.” Shauna recounted with an edge.
“I’ll admit I also didn’t get what I wanted out of that date,” Jackie swallowed, preparing herself for the vulnerability of the confession. “I wanted you and I was hoping Jeff and Randy would figure out some subconscious feelings for each other and leave us be.” Jackie then beamed at Gen. “It all worked out for the best, though.”
Shauna made a gagging noise, and Melissa nudged her under the table with her foot. She leaned across the table, hiding them behind their menus, and whispered to Shauna. “It’s probably a good thing we’re sitting like this. Less of a chance they get us kicked out. Or that we have to bail them out after they get arrested for public indecency.”
Shauna glanced over the menu at the two, who were holding hands across the table and gazing into each other’s eyes. “It’s like a bad romance novel,” she said with a queasy look on her face.
Just then their waitress appeared. Jackie turned to give her drink order but was taken aback by who it was. “Rachel, I didn’t know you worked here!”
Rachel Goldman started to respond but her mouth went dry as she glanced around the rest of the table and her eyes fell on Melissa. Melissa, who she had drunkenly hooked up with at a party a few months ago and had yet to fully get over (you don’t move on easy from someone with fingers like that). Melissa, who was now happily with Shauna.
Shauna, who looked like she wanted to disembowel Rachel slowly just for the love of the game. Rachel looked back at Jackie, rattled. “What can I get you guys to drink?”
Jackie looked concerned but decided to focus on the matter at hand. “Gen will have a Coke, and I will have a lemonade.” She then motioned to Melissa and Shauna. Melissa decided to be chivalrous (plus she was afraid of what Shauna would say if she had to talk to Rachel).
“I’ll take a Sprite, and Shauna just likes water–” Melissa was cut off by Jackie.
“Do you have Shirley Temples? Shauna loves Shirley Temples.” Jackie was enthusiastically trying to help Melissa out. How could Melissa not know about Shauna’s crippling Shirley Temple addiction? A few years ago she had one every day for a month and a half. Her dentist loved her after that.
“Jackie, I haven’t had a Shirley Temple since I was 13.” Shauna hissed. “I want a water.”
“Bring one of each,” Jackie said with a wink as she held a five dollar bill out to Rachel. Rachel collected it then scurried away like a mouse.
Jackie turned to the table, confused. “Does anyone know what the hell her problem is?” Melissa tried to be diplomatic. “Me and her have…history.”
Jackie was still confused. “What does that mean?”
Shauna rolled her eyes while Gen snickered, answering, “well, Melissa put her fingers inside of Rachel–”
“Gen!” Melissa gasped, smacking Gen in the arm, which failed to deter her.
“And Rachel never got over it.” Gen shrugged. “I get it. Took me a minute.”
Everyone at the table stared at her. Melissa in fear, Jackie in utter confusion, and Shauna in rage. “Hm, I think I probably should’ve left that part out.”
“You think?” Melissa hissed before trying to do damage control. “Shauna, it was years ago, it meant nothing–”
“Oh, I’m not insecure,” Shauna said with a smirk, staring at Gen. If Shauna was Superman, Gen would have two laser holes directly through each brown eye. “I’m just territorial.”
Jackie nudged Shauna with her shoulder. “Don’t talk to my girlfriend like that!” Jackie then turned to Gen. “Are you saying you and Melissa–”
Gen nodded. “It fucked me up for a little while,” Gen grabbed Jackie’s hand and rubbed the back of her knuckles with her thumb. “But you fixed me, and then some.”
“Who’s better?” Jackie asked and Melissa dropped her head into her hands.
“Oh, definitely you.” Gen said, and Shauna guffawed. Honest to god guffawed in the middle of Domenico’s.
“Yeah, sure,” Shauna said as she got herself under control. “You keep telling yourself that.”
“How the hell would you know?” Gen narrowed her eyes.
“Listen here, junior.” Shauna started with a playfully mocking tone, but they all knew what would happen if Shauna was pushed just a touch further. Shauna jerked her thumb in Jackie’s direction. “You weren’t the first one to plant your flag on that moon.”
Jackie’s eyes somehow got even bigger, almost taking up her entire face. “Shauna!”
“You started it!” Shauna shot back.
Rachel came back with the drinks as the table was at the zenith of learning about who at the table had had sex with who. She set the drinks down in front of each person, before pulling out a notepad. "What would everyone like to eat?” Her voice was quivering in fear.
Jackie began again. “We,” she motioned to her and Gen, “will take the largest serving of spaghetti and meatballs you offer.”
Rachel looked confused already. “All our servings are the same size.”
“You don’t make a party platter size?” Jackie asked curiously. “It says here on the menu you do.”
“You want a party platter of spaghetti and meatballs for the two of you?” Rachel wanted to make sure she got the unhinged request correct. She also said it loud enough to have witnesses at the other tables.
“Did she stutter?” Gen backed Jackie up, and Rachel immediately jotted down the order. Rachel and Gen had long-standing beef since the Melissa thing, both with feelings of jealousy towards the other. But Gen also just didn’t like Rachel. She had also often fantasized about making her bleed, just for the fun of it.
“And for you…Melissa?” Rachel’s voice practically died as she addressed Melissa, trying not to look at Shauna because Rachel could feel the weight of Shauna’s eyes on the side of her skull.
“I’ll take a chicken parmesan,” Melissa said as she handed the menu back to Rachel with a smile. Their fingers brushed as Rachel grabbed the menu and Shauna scowled. Rachel couldn’t work up the courage to talk to Shauna, instead just looking at her, pen at attention.
“I’ll take the veal francaise,” Shauna said with a smirk. She dropped the menu on the table, forcing Rachel to lean all the way over to grab it. When she did, Shauna leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Never look at her again. Unless you think you can still play soccer with one leg.”
Rachel grabbed the menus and scurried away once more. Jackie turned to Shauna with a weird look. “Veal?”
“They didn’t have beef,” Shauna said with simplicity. “So I got the baby beef.”
“That is the grossest possible way you could’ve put that,” Gen said as she turned a light shade of green. She turned to Melissa who was looking at Shauna googly-eyed. “Okay, you two don’t get to make fun of us when you’re into each other’s bloodlust.”
“We’re not just into each other’s bloodlust,” Melissa said defensively. “We also enjoy each other’s possessiveness and jealousy.”
“You two are speed running a toxic codependent relationship,” Gen said, shaking her head.
“You two bonded over trying to break us up, you do not get to take the moral high ground.” Shauna jabbed her pointer and middle fingers in both of their directions.
“It’s all water under the bridge,” Jackie waved it off with her hand as she took a sip of her lemonade. “We’ve bonded on more than just jealousy. We realized we have similar tastes in fashion, music, makeup–”
“The lesbian urge to merge,” Melissa muttered, earning a snicker from Shauna.
Gen rolled her eyes. “You’re one to talk. Whose flannel is whose? And Melissa, I am ninety nine percent sure Shauna is wearing your sneakers right now. Since I was the one who bought them for you.”
“Okay, we share clothes, you got us there.” Shauna spoke in a sarcastic tone and held up her hands in mock defeat. “But we have different opinions on music and literature and art–”
Gen began to belly laugh. “Art? Melissa’s favorite artist is the guy who draws Toucan Sam on the Froot Loops box. And I’m pretty sure her favorite book is the back of said Froot Loops box.”
“Hey!” Melissa said, a little wounded. “I read.”
“What was the last book you read?” Gen asked, seriously.
“Do magazines count?” Melissa had one in mind.
“Playboy does not count, I know you don’t read the articles.” Gen stared at Melissa, who wilted slightly.
“I still read,” Melissa muttered.
“I know for a fact Melissa read The Price of Salt.” Shauna wore a smug smile.
“What kind of book is that?” Jackie asked, having never heard of it.
“Let me take a wild guess,” Gen turned full to Melissa, ready to make a fool out of her for her predictability. “It’s pretty short and/or probably has some sort of gay shit in it.”
“It is nearly three hundred pages long,” Melissa said, annoyed.
“Lesbian sex?” Gen immediately tossed back.
“Yes,” Melissa grumbled as she took a sip of her Sprite.
Jackie made a mental note of the title. She liked short books, lesbian sex, and annoying Shauna. And that seemed to be a way to do all three.
The food arrived, with Rachel struggling with the plates and party platter. She got the party platter down, but she fumbled the francaise and dropped it on the floor. Shauna’s lips curled into a mean smirk.
“Hmm,” Shauna hummed in mock disapproval. “There goes the tip.” Rachel hurried away, muttering apologies under her breath in fear.
“Shauna, how many times have I had to tell you?” Jackie sighed in exasperation. “You can’t withhold a tip because you have personal disagreements with the server.”
“I don’t have a ‘personal disagreement’ Jackie,” Shauna rolled her eyes. “I hate her fucking guts and have fantasized about her demise in multiple ways.”
“Me too,” Gen said as picked up a forkfull of spaghetti.
“Fine. Melissa,” Jackie turned to face her, “I guess we’ll have to pick up the tip tonight.”
“Don’t look at me, she’s not getting a dime off of me.” Melissa began cutting into her food. “Besides, I don’t have any cash on me.”
“Why don’t you have any cash? What if there’s an emergency or something?” Jackie was baffled.
“Don’t worry about it,” Shauna said with a knowing smile.
“Oh my god, you’re her sugar mommy?” Jackie said it a little too loud, earning some odd looks from their fellow diners. Melissa groaned and dropped her head into her hands.
“Don’t worry, she pays me back.” Shauna winked at Melissa and Gen turned green again.
“I swear to god if you don’t stop making me think about my best friend having sex–” Gen began before Shauna butted in.
“It’s something you’ve already experienced, right?” Shauna asked with venom.
“--with you,” Gen continued as though Shauna didn’t speak at all. “I won’t just be thinking about Rachel’s violent death.”
“Yeah, I’d like to see you try,” Shauna taunted Gen. “You gonna get the rest of the Keebler elves to abandon the fudge stripe ovens for a day to try and bite my shins?”
“Don’t speak to her that way!” Jackie gasped indignantly.
Melissa sighed, exhausted. “Shauna, once again, please don’t refer to my friends as elves.”
“You said not to refer to them as Santa’s elves or cobbling elves.” Shauna reasoned. “You never said anything about ones that bake cookies!”
A different server came over with Shauna’s veal, and placed it in front of her with a false, cheery smile. Shauna just stared at him. “Where did our waitress go?”
The server tried to keep the smile but it faltered slightly. “She is no longer employed here.”
“Did you really manage to get her fired somehow?” Jackie whispered to Shauna urgently, who was just as confused as the rest of the table. The server overheard the question.
“No, she turned in her apron and nametag and literally sprinted out the back door.” The server responded before turning on his heel and briskly walking away. Melissa stared at Shauna with demented horniness. She had harassed and threatened Rachel out of a job. It was the one of the hottest things Shauna had ever done, in Melissa’s opinion. Shauna just smirked back at Melissa.
Gen cleared her throat. “Can we just eat before these two make me vomit?” Jackie nodded and they all dug in.
The quartet finished their meal without further incident. Well, almost. Jackie and Gen did create a minor mess attempting to Lady and the Tramp a strand of spaghetti. But on the thirteenth try, and after three different stacks of napkins, two new forks, and Gen’s face getting covered in spaghetti, they finally succeeded.
They were then nearly kicked out of the restaurant when the innocent peck turned into a kiss which turned into a hot and heavy makeout sesh. Once Jackie and Gen’s tongues became visible and audible, the server came over and asked them to cut it out or they would be asked to leave the premises and never be permitted to return. It earned him heavy indignation from Gen and Jackie and a sizable tip from Shauna.
Luckily, One Up Arcade was in the same strip mall as Domenico’s, so Shauna didn’t have to risk the addition of several new bodily fluids to her backseat (she was only okay with the ones she approved of, namely her own and Melissa’s).
When they walked in, the hum of electric arcade cabinets mixed with the hum of the neon lights that constituted a majority of the light source for the building. The smell of fried food hung in the air like a siren call. They made their way to the token machine.
Jackie pushed a $5 bill into the machine. Shauna watched as she collected the coins before inserting her own $10 bill. Once she had gathered hers and Melissa’s tokens, Gen grabbed the cup of tokens from Jackie’s hand, then inserted fifteen dollars into the machine, filling the first cup and filling a second halfway.
Shauna took the cup, grabbed three more, then carefully kicked the machine just so. A cascade of tokens came flowing out, and Melissa helped collect them all. Once they were finished, Shauna just cocked her eyebrows at Gen and Jackie.
They had to decide on their first game of choice. The place was full but there were a share of empty machines. Melissa’s eyes were almost as bright as the pinball machines as she took in the sound and energy around her. She allowed her gut to make her decision for her, and she ended up at the skee-ball cabinet first. There were two empty directly next to each other, and Jackie stepped up to challenge Melissa.
“Babe, you might not wanna do that,” Gen warned Jackie, but Jackie didn’t heed it.
“Don’t worry, snookums–” Shauna couldn’t help herself but interrupt Jackie.
“SNOOKUMS?” She was in shock and slightly nauseated.
Jackie powered through her sentence. “I’ve got my eye on that stuffed walrus. Lawrence will be ours.”
“We’ll discuss the name, but good luck!” Gen said tentatively.
Melissa and Jackie each inserted the tokens and the balls came down the chute. Melissa waited for Jackie to go first, waving her on. Jackie took the ball, aimed her best, and rolled a 20.
“Yeah, take that, Hat!” Jackie hooted and smiled at Gen as Melissa whipped the ball lazily.
100.
“What?!?” Jackie was baffled. She barely tried! Jackie put her all into her next shot. 30. Melissa shot lackadaisically. 100.
“Did we get hustled?” Jackie asked Gen, who just looked at Jackie wordlessly, expression apologetic.
“Technically snookums warned you so you weren’t hustled,” Shauna said with a wiseass smile. “Just stupid.”
“Shut up, Shipman.” Jackie hissed as she shot again. 10. “Fuck!”
“Oh, Taylor’s swearing,” Shauna announced to Melissa, draping herself around her shoulders. “We got them right where we want them.” Melissa shot. 100.
At the end of the game, Jackie had a respectable 320. Melissa had shot a perfect 900. Jackie looked sick to her stomach, and grabbed the seven tickets the game had shot out. Melissa and Shauna collected their 35. Jackie turned to Gen.
“How many tickets to get Lawrence?” Jackie asked, and Gen squinted her eyes as she looked.
“150.” Jackie groaned. Melissa began glancing around for her next target. But Shauna had already zeroed in on their next move. Shauna grabbed Melissa’s hand and tugged her over to the cool breeze of the air hockey table.
“Oh no.” Jackie turned to Gen. “Shauna has an insatiable bloodlust when it comes to air hockey. I once watched her give Nat a black eye on an aggressive shot. I thought Nat was going to kill her.”
Jackie then pushed Gen to the opposite side of the table from Shauna. Gen looked put out. “What the hell? Are you trying to get me killed?”
“Defend my honor, my love!” Jackie dramatically called. Melissa rolled her eyes before fixing her gaze on Shauna.
“Kill her,” Melissa said with a wink. Gen looked deeply offended.
“Thanks, best friend.” Gen’s words were dripping with sarcasm.
“With our winnings, I’m gonna get you a propellor hat and one of those big swirly lollipops.” Shauna smirked at Melissa who scoffed. Jackie’s eyes lit up.
“Oh, you’d look adorable,” Jackie beamed at Melissa, who suddenly felt very uncomfortable. “You’d look like a small orphan child from the Great Depression who had recently been saved from heavy child labor.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Shauna looked weirdly at Jackie. “I just wanted to make my girlfriend look like an idiot.” She paused a beat before adding, “well, more than usual.”
“Aren’t you and I supposed to be on the same side? Since we’re dating?” Melissa was fully indignant. Shauna chuckled.
“We’re on the same side of the arcade game competition,” Shauna said as she motioned around with the paddle in her hand. “But we’re on opposite sides of the ‘make Mel look like a doofus’ divide.”
Across the room at a Street Fighter Alpha cabinet, Jeff stood next to Randy as he got his ass handed to him by M. Bison. Randy sighed and threw his hands up in the air. “This is such bullshit.” He sighed, then saw Jeff distracted by something in the distance. He followed Jeff’s line of sight to its resting point. “Hey, isn’t that Jackie? And the girl she went lezzy with?”
Jeff smacked Randy in the arm. “Dude, shut up.” Before he could stop him, Randy was making his way over to the four girls. Once he got to them, Jeff following closely behind, the girls stopped arguing and just stared at the two boys.
Randy smiled what he thought was a clever smirk, but was just a dumb smile that bordered on constipated. “Hello, ladies.”
Jackie rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “What do you two want?”
Before Jeff could even begin to formulate a thought, the dumbest collection of words possible tumbled from Randy’s oafish lips. “To watch you guys kiss. On the mouth.”
Shauna could feel her blood boil, and her eyes flashed red. “Do you know what I want, Randy?”
Randy’s dumb smile stayed plastered on his face. “Me?”
“Close,” Shauna said as she clicked her tongue. “I would like you to drop dead.”
Randy went from satisfaction to anger, and Jeff had to hold him back. Jackie rolled her eyes once more.
“Jeff, why don’t you take your little boyfriend somewhere he’s more intellectually matched…the ball pit, perhaps?” Jackie smirked as the two boys slunk away.
Shauna turned to Gen. “Okay, pookie, you ready or what?”
Gen sighed, accepting her fate. “Yes, but please stop calling me those names.”
Jackie huffed. “Yeah, those are my names. For her!”
The pair each deposited some tokens, and the table whooshed with air. Shauna hit an easy first goal, but Gen allowed herself to dip into her deep well of anger and her fierce competitive nature. For each Shauna goal, Gen was able to counter with her own quickly. The game came down to the wire, with each having six points. The two shot and defended with equal measure and intensity. Shauna felt like she had found an opening, but she shot just a bit too forcefully and the puck ricocheted off the edge of the goal opening. Gen corralled the puck and, in one swift motion, banked the puck off the side wall, behind Shauna’s paddle and into the goal. Shaunahat 1, Genackie 1.
Shauna collected their measly ten tickets while Gen and Jackie eagerly snapped up their twenty five. Jackie stuck her tongue out at Shauna while Shauna just rolled her eyes. Melissa had already made a beeline over to where Jeff and Randy had disappeared to.
The boys were competing against each other in basketball, with Jeff easily beating his counterpart. Melissa stood at the machine closest to Jeff, who just glanced down at her unassuming stature. Shauna spied a chance to also embarrass the boys and hopped on next to Melissa. For a moment, the double date was forgotten in favor of emasculating the boys that had caused them so much strife.
Shauna and Melissa each deposited some tokens and their games began as Jeff and Randy were starting their own rematch. Gen turned to Jackie and whispered in her ear, “those two are nuts.”
Jackie whispered back, “none of them are aware of what Shauna’s about to do.”
Jeff and Randy put up respectable showings, with 38 and 29 points each. Melissa was able to best the two of them, leading the pack with 43 points.
Shauna was, in essence, One Up Arcade’s Michael Jordan. She didn’t miss a single shot, and easily made it to the bonus round where she missed just one shot as she ran out of steam towards the end. A final tally of 78 points was enough to not only win, but to break the machine’s current high score with ease.
Gen looked at Jackie in amazement. Jeff and Randy looked at each other in disbelief. Melissa’s expression, with her eyes trained solely on Shauna’s face, was ravenous. Shauna’s heaving breaths didn’t keep her from tossing a shrug at Jeff and Randy as she casually uttered, “hm, I think I’m a little out of form.”
Melissa collected their tickets, then grabbed Shauna’s wrist and dragged her outside to the backseat of Shauna’s car. Gen and Jackie wandered away. Jeff stared blankly at nothing, zoned out.
Once again Randy said the first thing that came to his mind. “Maybe we should kiss.”
Jeff looked at him like he had four heads (but still only the one brain cell). “What the hell are you talking about?”
“I’m just saying, they all kiss each other and look at how good they are at the games.” Randy tried to reason. “Maybe if we kissed we could be good at the games too.” Jeff just blinked, unable to form any real thought or response. “No tongue though. Unless you thought it would make us even better.”
To avoid assaulting Randy in public, Jeff made a beeline for the front door, leaving his friend to catch up with him.
Gen and Jackie found their way to a claw machine game. Jackie began depositing tokens in the machine, despite Gen’s protests.
“These things are rigged,” Gen huffed. “They program it so it randomly drops the toy, even if you grabbed it perfectly.”
“Jackie Taylor doesn’t believe in losing,” Jackie declared.
“You literally just lost to Melissa in skee-ball,” Gen said, before catching herself and couching the sarcasm. “Which totally wasn’t your fault, Melissa is a freak at that game. But, I’m just saying.”
“I can lose to human competition,” Jackie said as she clutched the joystick, her eyes narrowing. “But I never lose to heavy machinery. Now, tell me what you want.”
Gen took in the various choices. The stuffed panda was cute, but a little small. The teddy bear next to the glass would be perfect if it wasn’t piss yellow. But finally, she spotted the one. She turned to Jackie and pointed.
“I want Timon.”
In the center of the chamber was a large, stuffed toy of Timon from The Lion King. Jackie saw it, and looked back to Gen with her eyes lit up. She pushed the button to start the game.
“So the trick is that it takes three tries to win the prize. I figured this out when I was with Jeff. He’d always try, get frustrated, and leave, and I would end up winning the toy for him,” Jackie said with a sigh. “You have no idea how many stuffed octopuses that boy has. Poor children, living in a broken home.”
She grabbed Timon, and he went up with the claw as Gen gasped, but Jackie just waved her off with her hand as Timon fell from the claw. She pulled out some more tokens and put them in. “The first try is that. Pick it up, and you’ll drop it in a better position to be securely grabbed.” She pressed the button again, and maneuvered the crane to pick up Timon for the second time.
“Then, you grab it and pull it towards the opening.” Timon fell from the crane's grasp right before the chute. “It falls right next to the opening, which means on the third try…”
Jackie put more tokens in, pressed the button, and easily lifted Timon. He fell into the chute and Jackie retrieved him, holding him out to Gen. Gen grinned, grabbing Timon before wrapping Jackie in a hug and planting a big kiss on her.
Before they could get much further, Shauna and Melissa walked up to them, slightly disheveled. Each had a handful of hickeys visible on their neck. Shauna whistled. “Yoohoo, lovebirds.” Gen and Jackie detached, spinning around to find Shauna standing there with a whole roll of tickets in her hand. “You guys wanna go adopt a walrus?”
Jackie and Gen’s eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. “We broke into the supply closet. WIth some help,” Shauna said as she nodded over towards Nat, who winked at them before returning to her basket of fries. Shauna unfurled the roll, splitting it evenly in half. “Fifty fifty seems fair, especially since we did all the work,” Melissa stated before Shauna gave her a bemused look.
“You danced around muttering ‘oh my god we’re gonna get caught’ the entire time,” Shauna said with a smirk.
Melissa rolled her eyes. “I was the lookout.”
Tickets in hand, the four went into the prize room. Gen and Jackie beelined to the walrus, picking a big, baby blue one on the highest shelf. The pimply-faced teen who worked there got him down and collected their tickets. They also got matching plastic rings, each choosing one for the other. They pocketed the rest of the tickets for the next time.
Shauna and Melissa were waiting for them outside of the prize room. Melissa was wearing a baseball hat that read “#1 Grandpa” and was holding a pair of socks with cows on them. Shauna was holding an oversized “I Love My Girlfriend” shirt and a plush Lisa Simpson toy.
“They didn’t have a Daria,” Shauna grumbled.
“Yeah, I’m sure Daria toys really move units,” Gen snarked, but Shauna glared at her enough for her to wilt. Melissa smiled.
“You guys ready to go home?” Melissa asked, already leading the way to the car.
Gen and Jackie braved the whole ride in the backseat, knowing something happened between the two in the front seat, though they weren’t sure what or how far. When they pulled up in front of Jackie’s house. Shauna parked the car and turned to face them alongside Melissa.
Both noticed the matching rings on Gen and Jackie’s fingers and furrowed their brows simultaneously. “Is there a quickie wedding chapel at One Up I’m not aware of?” Shauna asked with an eyebrow cocked.
“Ha ha, very funny, Shipman.” Jackie rolled her eyes. “Sorry we wanted to commit to each other.”
“I mean, we’re pretty committed,” Shauna said as she motioned towards herself and Melissa. “And we didn’t have to put a rinky-dink plastic ring on our fingers to prove it. We just took our fingers and–”
“Enough!” Melissa shouted as she clamped her hand over Shauna’s smirking mouth. Jackie looked scandalized and she pushed her hands over Lawrence’s ears, Gen doing the same to Timon.
“Watch your mouth in front of our children!” Jackie yelped. Shauna rolled her eyes.
“Married with children? Damn, Jax, even when you’re gay you’re still the most predictable person.” Shauna smirked again. “Besides, you should be less concerned about what they hear and more concerned with where you guys are sitting.”
Jackie and Gen each turned green and began pulling themselves from the car. Gen leaned over and planted a kiss on the top of Melissa’s head. “See you Monday, loser.”
As Jackie and Gen made their way up Jackie’s front walkway, Shauna rolled her window down and leaned out. “Use protection tonight!” She shouted as Jackie rubbed her temples. “Three young kids with no job is a kind of child abuse!”
Shauna snickered as she rolled up the window, waiting for Gen and Jackie to go inside before pulling away.