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“Oh. Uhmm.”
Hunter wanted nothing more than to nap in peace. Instead, they were observing a separatist facility; had been for hours on end without moving. He was stiff and tired and hungry and bored and he did not have the mind to deal with whatever Wrecker had done now. Mustering as much patience as possible, he asked: “What’s going on?”
“Hmm.”
Well, that was comforting. Logically, Hunter knew that Wrecker didn’t do well with doing nothing for long periods of time - just as Tech; although the last time Hunter had seen Tech he had sat down close to a flowering bush which would provide ample distraction in the form of plants and insects - but he had hoped that, for once, things would go smoothly. Maybe that was too much to wish for.
“Wrecker.” Hunter didn’t manage to keep the annoyance out of his voice. “What happened?”
He didn’t get an answer. Hunter swore he would strangle him the next time he saw him.
“Crosshair, what’s going on with Wrecker?” There was a short silence; probably while Crosshair moved to focus on Wrecker. Hunter had no idea where the sniper had hid out, but he knew that Crosshair had all of them in his field of vision. He always had.
“He’s fine. There’s … hmm.”
Okay, this was getting ridiculous. “Someone tell me what’s going on right now or stars help me,” he hissed.
“It’s nothing serious,” Crosshair replied after a moment. “Wrecker camouflaged himself a little too well.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Maybe he should abandon all of them here and put in a request for another squad. That idea sounded better by the second.
“There’s a bird on him.”
“A bird.”
A short silence, then Crosshair shared a picture to their HUDs. Wrecker had blended in with the surrounding underbrush pretty well, so well that a bird had made itself home on his head. It did explain the situation, kind of, and it soothed Hunter’s nerves that nothing serious was going on; but there was another problem now.
“That’s a pica pica or commonly known as magpie, although there are several subspecies. However, they are not always easy to distinguish. This is an adult and -”
“Thank you, Tech,” Hunter gritted out, hoping that would stop him. He couldn’t deal with this right now. “Wrecker, why is the bird-”
“It’s a magpie,” Tech interrupted.
“Why is the magpie on your head?”
“Well, you see, there, uhm, was some predator hunting it and it already injured it but I might have. Scared that predator away. And now the bird-” “Magpie.”
“Whatever, is on my head.”
Hunter sighed. “Just don’t let it distract you from the mission.”
“Yes, sarge!”
At least the mission went without a hitch. If you didn’t count the fact that they discovered the location of one more of these facilities on the planet, likely a backup for the first. If they had to spend as long observing that facility as the last one, Hunter would quit. Only Crosshair seemed to enjoy lying around and doing nothing for long periods of time; the rest of them were irritated and full of energy.
“Logically, we should already move towards the complex while calling it in, because it’s likely we will be sent there anyway,” Tech said. “It will save us some time, and prevent them from preparing as much for a possible attack.”
“Let’s move,” Hunter decided after a moment, heading east. Tech did have a point.
The other three followed closely, thankfully quiet for now. It didn’t last long, unfortunately.
“Wrecker,” Crosshair eventually said. “Why is your backpack moving?”
“Uhm, it’s not moving?”
That was incredibly suspicious and Hunter screwed his eyes shut. There was a loud squawk.
“Now it’s making noises, too,” Crosshair pointed out helpfully. Hunter could hear the smirk in his voice.
“Wrecker, what’s in your backpack?” He probably knew the answer already, didn’t he?
“Nothing …” “That’s the call of a magpie,” Tech started. “The most common call is a harsh rattle - a series of about 10 short notes lasting about 1 second in total. Other vocalizations include raspy calls and loud squawks.”
Hunter stopped in his tracks. “Did you pack the magpie in your backpack?” He turned around to glare at Wrecker, which was ineffectual through his helmet. Nonetheless, he got the point across.
“Well, it was hurt, couldn’t leave it there all alone! That predator would have killed it!”
“Take it out,” Hunter ordered, and he must have sounded more pissed off than he wanted to, because Wrecker complied easily. Gently, he pulled the magpie out of his backpack. It looked mostly fine, if a bit ruffled. And its left wing was bleeding in places.
It let out an indignant squawk and started struggling until Wrecker put it down on his other arm. There, it seemed perfectly happy to sit and eye them up and down after shaking out its feathers.
“Okay. Now put it down.”
Wrecker bristled. “I didn’t save it to leave it to die here!”
Crosshair had stepped up and was examining the wing, while the magpie curiously tried to peck his helmet.
“It doesn’t look that bad. A bit of bacta and some time can fix it,” he said, turning towards Hunter..
“We should be able to spare some,” Tech agreed.
Great, now they were ganging up on him.
“Do what you want, but if it endangers the mission it’s gonna be our next dinner,” Hunter muttered, then leaned against a tree and watched them patch up the bird. It probably didn’t matter if they arrived ten minutes later.
Tech and Crosshair worked together fast, with Wrecker holding the magpie for them so it couldn't escape. It was complaining with squawks and rattles but otherwise seemed pretty unbothered by the whole ordeal, even curious in what they were doing. Curious enough to try and eat some of the bacta. The three of them were bantering over the magpie, while Hunter let his thoughts wander.
Now, the important part was not naming that thing, lest Wrecker - and the others, he knew them a little too well - would get attached to it.
Crosshair finishing up with some gauze made Hunter suspicious.
“We can't leave it here with the gauze on.”
“We can't leave her here anyway, she is unable to fly like this and unprotected from predators. In a few hours, we can release her again,” Tech explained. Hunter could feel his headache grow. He saw Wrecker open his mouth and knew what would be coming, but he was faster. “Don't. We will not name it.”
Wrecker shut his mouth again in disappointment but Hunter had made another mistake.
While picking up his helmet, Tech began to talk: “Actually, the magpie is a female. It can be quite hard to tell, but upon closer inspection -”
You love them, you love them, you love them, Hunter kept repeating to himself while following Tech who had taken the lead, fully immersed in his explanation. The magpie was currently perched on Wreckers backpack, curiously looking around. This would end badly in some way or another, Hunter was sure.
“We’ll do the same as last time,” Hunter decided when they were close enough to the facility to get an overview of the situation. It turned out to be almost an exact copy of the last one. “That worked well.”
“Do we have to wait as long as last time?” Wrecker complained. “I can't sit still for that long again, you know that!”
Crosshair was currently checking out the complex with his rifle, already perched on a tree. “Not if you hurry and get in position. Looks like they are about to get a delivery soon - you can use that window of opportunity.”
“Yeah!” Wrecker cheered, then froze. “Uhm, what about the bird?”
“Magpie -”
“She can stay with me,” Crosshair said, reaching out his hand. Wrecker grabbed the bird off his shoulder and handed it up under loud protesting squawks. Hunter growled.
“Make it shut up or it’ll give our position away.”
Crosshair huffed but clamped down his hand on the bird’s beak until it stopped making noises.
“That actually worked?” Wrecker was amazed.
“They are very clever,” Tech explained . “So don't feed her or she will get used to it pretty quickly and then we will have a harder time of rewilding her.”
“Yeah, whatever.” Crosshair couldn't sound more disinterested. “Now go, before it's too late,” he chided and Hunter had to agree, ushering the two along.
This was almost easier than the first time. ‘Almost’ being the keyword here, because their security had already been increased, just as Tech had warned them before. In the end they still came out successful - of course they did. They were the best after all. When they came back to Crosshair’s perch, the magpie was now sitting on his head, munching on something.
“Did you feed her?” Tech asked, warily.
“Nah, there was a bug and she snatched it,” Crosshair answered easily. A bit too easily in Hunter's opinion. He chose not to comment.
“Let’s move,” he told them, “It’s getting dark soon and I’d like to cover some ground before setting up camp.”
Crosshair carefully climbed down to not jostle the magpie too much, stretching a bit, before nodding that he was ready.
Hunter led them the way they had come from. They probably could have made it to the Marauder, but he wanted them to get a little break, and a night here would be nice. There were no known big predators and they had just destroyed all the droids in the area after all. The guys would appreciate the break.
They found a nice clearing on a small hill to camp. The night promised to be warm, perfect for sleeping outside and Wrecker had happily collected some dry sticks for a small fire.
Tech set up some proximity sensors, just to be safe and then they got settled around the fire, all while the magpie kept hopping around between them, trying to steal anything shiny. She especially loved Crosshair’s pucks, pecking at the mirror and staring at it in interest.
But only until they unpacked their rations to eat. Then the bird started hopping around them, squeaking and trying to get some of their food.
“Remember, don’t feed her,” Tech said. Wrecker looked like a kicked puppy.
“But she is so cute! And probably hungry!”
“Then she can hunt for bugs or berries. She will stick around us if we feed her.”
Wrecker huffed and Hunter feared they hadn’t heard the last of it.
His suspicions were confirmed a few minutes later when the magpie went suspiciously quiet. But instead of his usual suspect, he found Crosshair feeding it little pieces of cheese.
“Tech told you to not do that literally five minutes ago,” he groaned and Crosshair’s head snapped up, a guilty look crossing his face.
“If Crosshair can feed her, then I can feed her too!” Wrecker complained, immediately sticking part of his ration bar in the bird's beak. It squawked but started munching on it happily.
“Really,” Tech was only a little exasperated. “Do you even know what you are doing? You are getting her used to human food and they are incredibly smart, she will now bother anyone for food, potentially risking her life because not everyone is an animal-lover!”
Crosshair still looked a little guilty but then doubled down. “But she loves cheese!”
“Heh, that’s a good name for her,” Wrecker said, holding out another small piece of cheese to the bird, now apparently called Cheese. Aaaand, it had happened. The bird had a name, and two of them were already attached.
“We are not taking it with us, remember that,” Hunter warned, before flopping on his back and hoping he had made himself clear enough.
Not long after, someone laid down beside him, and before he knew they were all curled up in a cuddle pile.
Hunter woke up to someone pulling on his hair. Without opening his eyes, he swatted to his right.
“Cross, stop that,” he muttered, trying to get the other to back off. He only got a confused: “Huh?” and then a light shove. “I’m not doing anything,” Crosshair muttered and turned away from him.
Hunter groaned and tried to sit up, but he was held down by Wrecker laying half on top of him. Great. He finally opened his eyes, blinking in the hazy morning air. The sun was barely rising, the first rays of sunlight breaking through the trees. It would be a perfect, peaceful morning, if something wasn’t still pulling his hair. But Wrecker was still asleep and Crosshair had turned away and he was faintly aware that Tech was already up, possibly making caf. But then what - the magpie. Of course. Hunter reached behind his head and immediately felt it pecking at his hand. He huffed, trying to swat it away. “You are not making a nest in my hair.”
“Then you should brush it more,” Tech commented without looking up. “Because it does look confusingly similar, and not only to a bird.”
Hunter managed to grab something the magpie had already placed in his hair - not an egg - and threw it in Tech’s general direction.
“You missed.” Tech had the nerve to not even sound fazed. Hunter huffed again, but finally managed to grab the magpie and hold it down so it wouldn’t keep pulling at his hair. It kept complaining with loud rattles and squawks, until Crosshair rolled back with an annoyed sigh and took the magpie from him.
“Stop hurting her,” he muttered, sitting up and checking it over. Hunter just sighed and closed his eyes again, hoping he would get some more sleep before Wrecker woke too.
He had no such luck, but laying here with his eyes closed and listening to the forest slowly wake and Crosshair and Tech’s quiet conversation was still relaxing.
Until a commotion woke Wrecker and made Hutner snap his eyes open too.
“Hey, give that back!” Crosshair yelled. It took a moment for Hunter to figure out what was going on. The magpie had stolen the scope of Crosshair’s firepuncher, hopping around with it in its beak. At some point, they must have taken off the gauze and as Crosshair was running after it, trying to get the scope back, it started to try and take off, succeeding after the third time and before they knew it was sitting up high in a tree, looking down at them, its treasure still held proudly.
Not that a mere tree would stop Crosshair, he was already climbing it. The magpie tilted its head and, when Crosshair was almost in reach, flew away to another tree.
With a few choice curse words, Crosshair quickly scaled down again.
“It’s only one of your scopes, Crosshair, you have another one,” Tech tried to discourage him. “Cheese is too smart; she will keep playing this game.”
“No, I want it back,” Crosshair complained and climbed the next tree. Again, the magpie flew away just when Crosshair was almost in reach, but it never left the little clearing.
Hunter had to chuckle at it.
They kept watching the two, drinking their caf. Crosshair was stubborn, but eventually, even he relented. The magpie made a triumphant sound and settled on a branch. With an angry huff, Crosshair stalked back and accepted a mug of caf from Tech.
“Maybe you should try trading it,” Wrecker said, throwing a few cubes of cheese on the ground. It didn’t take long for the magpie to fly down and drop the scope, then happily eat the cheese.
“You couldn’t have done that a little earlier?” Crosshair complained, which made Wrecker chuckle.
“Nah, it was fun watching you chase her.” Wrecker retrieved Crosshair’s scope, pocketing it.
After enjoying, well, eating, their breakfast, they packed up to get back to the Marauder. With the bird now apparently being fine, Hunter hoped it would fly away, or get distracted. He was wrong, but he was used to that wasn’t he? The magpie kept following them, sometimes flying ahead and waiting for them, sometimes even landing on Crosshair’s armrest or Wrecker’s head. It also kept chattering a lot.
“Did you have to be right about the bird getting attached?” Hunter asked Tech at one point.
Tech shrugged. “I am seldom wrong. Also, again, magpie. And her name is Cheese now.”
“Not you too,” Hunter sighed. “We can’t keep a pet.” “I know, but Crosshair and Wrecker like her.”
“That makes it worse,” Hunter mumbled, already dreading the moment he had to put his foot down.
That moment came later than he expected, but not in a good way. When they got close to the Marauder, Crosshair suddenly stopped in his tracks.
“There is something ahead.”
They all stopped, and Tech fished out his datapad.
“Scans show several hostiles. They must have found the Marauder.”
“I thought we killed all of the droids,” Wrecker complained and Hunter shook his head.
“We must have missed some. How many, Tech?”
“Eight.”
Crosshair confirmed with a small nod.
“Maybe they were on patrol,” Hunter said. “No matter what, we have to take them out, and preferably without damaging the ship. Crosshair?”
“Already on it,” Crosshair replied, vanishing into the forest to find a good sniper spot. They snuck closer until they could get a visual. It didn’t look good. The droids were trying to break into the Marauder, which definitely bothered Tech. Then again, everything that could damage their ship (not yours, Tech), bothered him,
The magpie was currently sitting in a tree above them, and suddenly began squawking loudly.
“That’s not good,” Wrecker muttered, when one of the droids turned towards the noise. “That will ruin the surprise.”
“Make her shut up,” Hunter hissed.
“How?” Wrecker gave back. “She is up there!”
“It’s just a bird,” one of the droids said, turning back to the ship. “Come on.”
The other didn’t seem convinced and looked around for another moment. He shouldn’t have done that, although Hunter supposed it didn’t matter. Crosshair’s blaster bolt would have hit him anyway. Crosshair made quick work of all but one droid, which was hiding out of his sight and started shooting wildly in the air.
“I can’t hit him,” Crosshair complained over coms.
“Neither can we,” Hunter said. “At least not from this position or without damaging the ship. We can-” “Oh. I got an idea.” For someone who hated being interrupted, Tech did interrupt them a lot. But Hunter let him, and Tech picked up a mirror puck from his pouch - of course he was carrying some of them too - then whistled and held it in the air.
“Tech, that’s the wrong angle, I can’t-” “That was not for you,” Tech said, and Hunter made a confused sound until - oh. The magpie came gliding down and landed on Tech’s hand, pecking at the mirror.
“Can you bring it over there?” Tech asked, pointing at a tree behind the droid. “Come on.” “Tech, that’s a bi- magpie, not a dog. Do you really think it's gonna listen to you?” Hunter had his doubts. This would never work.
Tech nodded and shook his arm, making the bird squawk and grab the puck. “Come on, over there.”
And the magpie actually took off towards the direction Tech had pointed in. It didn’t land in the exact tree he had pointed to, but somewhere close.
“Eh, good enough,” Crosshair said, and took the shot that hit dead center. The last droid crumpled. Startled by the blaster bolt, the magpie dropped the puck.
“And it hopefully scared her enough so she will stay away from us,” Tech said and Hunter sighed. Tech hopefully was right.
“Aw,” Wrecker said. “I thought we could convince Hunter to keep her. She got a name after all!” “No one keeps the b- the magpie. But I told you that before,” Hunter said, getting up. He ignored the following complaints, carefully walking towards the ship, in case there were any more surprises.
Fortunately, there weren’t any droids left, and Crosshair showed up only a few minutes later.
The magpie was still sitting in the tree, watching them.
“She could be useful. We could train her,” Crosshair mused, earning a glare from Hunter.
“She will stay here and you all get on board now,” Hunter ordered. “Without any surprises or I’ll throw them and you out of the airlock.” Crosshair rolled his eyes but followed Hunter’s orders. Wrecker waved to the bird and did the same. Only Tech was still here, digging through one of his pouches.
“And what are you doing?” Hunter asked with a glare. Tech gave him a small smile.
“We should thank Cheese for her help, shouldn’t we?” He pulled out a handful of nuts and berries, throwing it on the ground. Cheese came flying down almost immediately, happily starting to search for them. “That will hopefully distract her from us leaving.”
“Good, now get on the ship before I leave you here,” Hunter said, lightly shoving his brother, then following him up the ramp. Cheese’s squaws when she noticed them leave sounded almost sad.
“Did you know that magpies can remember people even after long periods of time and there’s even the suspicion that they can miss them?”
Hunter shook his head. “That’s interesting, but still a no.”
“Aww,” Wrecker said. “I will miss her too!”