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It was bound to happen at one point Axel thinks. One of them getting hurt during a dance routine. He had always expected it to be one of the others; Jakob who does things without thinking and nearly drowned twice because of it. Or Kevin, who Axel doesn’t understand how he manages to dance so smoothly without tripping over his long legs.
Instead it was him. He’s just grateful it was during a rehearsal and not on an actual concert in front of a crowd. He and Jakob had been dancing Jenka with Jakob in front of Axel. Axel then somehow managed to trip over Jakob’s legs in the clumsiest way possible causing the man in front of him to almost fall over as well. Jakob managed to catch his balance though which Axel did not. He instead fell head-first into the edge of the wooden construction behind them that’s supposed to look like a sauna.
He remembers hearing Jakob’s cursing and Kevin’s singing stopping abruptly before a gentle hand was on his shoulder to stop him from sitting up.
“Stay down, Axel.”
Jakob was next to him, probably having seen the way he hit his head.
Jakob’s hands were on his cheeks; holding Axel’s head in place as he carefully looked him over.
Then Jakob let out a hiss and that’s the moment Axel felt something warm trickle down his cheek.
“Axel, you’re bleeding!”
“I can feel that.”
His voice was shaky somehow but he had dismissed it as just adrenaline at the time.
Now, five minutes later he’s not so sure as his head starts pounding. Jakob had made him sit down on the stage as Kevin disappeared to get a cool cloth and a bottle of water.
Jakob’s got his arm around him as Axel leans forward with his head in his hands. He can feel Jakob start to rub his back as he softly asks how he’s feeling.
“Head hurts and I’m sweating all over, but it could probably be the heat. It’s 29 fucking degrees after all.”
“Did your head hurt before you fell?”
Axel thinks about that for a few seconds. Did it? He knew he had had a bit of a headache earlier during the day but he couldn’t remember how he had felt just before he fell.
“I don’t know,” he answers honestly.
Then Kevin returns and hands a cool cloth to Jakob who gently presses it towards the bleeding gash on Axel’s temple. He hisses a bit at the pain but the cloth feels nice against his pounding head. Jakob pulls the cloth away and examines the wound on Axel’s temple, stroking some of his friend’s hair back with gentle hands.
“It’s not deep but you could still have a concussion. We’ll sit here for a while before going back to our room. If you feel worse at all then tell us, okay?”
Axel nods slowly and accepts the water bottle that Kevin gives him. The water makes him feel a little bit better and he actually thinks he’s going to be alright.
After a few minutes Kevin helps him to stand and then they start making their way off the stage. That’s when the dizziness hits him with full force and Axel winces.
Someone puts a hand on his arm and he hears Kevin’s voice next to him but can’t make out any words. The world spins around him and he feels his vision go out. He tries to speak, to let them know something is really wrong but it’s like he doesn’t know how to form any words.
Then before he knows it everything is black.
It takes him a while to wake up; the world is blurry at first but he can see the shape of someone sitting beside him; gently rubbing their thumb over the back of his hand.
Axel blinks and Kevin’s face gets sharper. It’s Kevin that’s next to him and Jakob… He hears Jakob’s voice from somewhere on his left, his tone anxious as he speaks to someone on the phone. Axel hears his voice clear as day, but the words sound weird. Is he speaking in some foreign language? No, not Jakob. He wouldn’t. He barely dares to speak Finnish because he isn’t comfortable enough with it.
Axel’s about to turn his head towards Jakob’s voice to understand what he’s saying when Kevin suddenly lets go of his hand to place both of his hands on Axel’s cheeks; making sure his friend doesn’t move.
Kevin says something then; voice soft as he obviously tries to reassure him. But his words are jumbled together somehow and nothing makes sense.
Axel furrows his brow and asks Kevin why he speaks a different language.
At least he tries to ask him that. But he can barely form the words. Something comes out but it is not what he meant to say.
Kevin has softly been stroking Axel’s cheek up until now and his hand freezes in place for a few seconds. His expression changes immediately and he looks alarmed for a few seconds before he manages to get back his usual calm face. Because Kevin is somehow always calm and his expression earlier scares Axel.
Then he hears Jakob’s voice again and the sound of it breaks his heart. He’s never heard Jakob that scared before, ever. He tries to sit up; wants to tell Jakob it’s alright, but he can’t form the words and Kevin pushes him down immediately.
Kevin says something that doesn’t register but the tone of his voice is so soft; so soothing as he leans down to press his forehead against Axel’s. Kevin keeps murmuring gentle words until Axel has finally calmed down. Kevin backs up a little at that point but still stays leaning over Axel, one hand caressing his cheek. Then Jakob is there as well; phone still in hand as he kneels on the floor next to Axel.
He takes Axel’s hand in his, clutching it tightly as if Axel was dying. He wants to laugh at the idea, but something in his friends’ expressions tells him this is not a laughing moment.
Seconds go by, and Axel suddenly feels very tired. He closes his eyes but just hears his friends’ alarmed voices. Kevin is gently patting his cheek while Jakob is desperately squeezing his hand. He doesn’t know what they’re so afraid of, but he can’t think by now. The throbbing in his head is getting too much and he tries to keep his eyes open; he really tries. The darkness takes over anyway and soon his friends’ scared voices fade away.
When he finally awakes, he’s in a hospital bed.
Kevin and Jakob are sitting in chairs next to each other on the right side of his bed.
Kevin is softly snoring with his head on Jakob’s shoulder and Jakob has an arm around him. Axel wants to smile first; it looks funny the way Kevin has his head turned to the side in a very awkward position but still seems to be sleeping soundly.
Then Axel looks; really looks at his friends and nothing about the image in front of him is funny anymore. Because even without his glasses on he sees the exhaustion that’s clear on Kevin’s face and the lines of worry on his forehead. And then there’s Jakob. The man is tensed up and has a tight grip on Kevin, almost as if to keep his friend from falling apart. Or probably to keep himself from falling apart because Axel just notices the tears in Jakob’s eyes and oh god, it’s painful to see.
Jakob seems to notice that Axel is awake by now because he gently nudges Kevin awake before reaching out to grab Axel’s hand.
“Hey.”
Jakob’s voice is soft as he looks at Axel without trying to hide his tears and Axel squeezes his hand back.
He opens his mouth to speak but he can barely control his tongue and he feels scared this time as he can’t form anything close to a proper word.
Kevin who sits closest to his head reaches out to gently stroke his forehead.
“It’s alright. The doctors say it might just be a sign of the concussion. They did a scan and you don’t have a brain bleed or anything. They do want to keep you for observation though. We’ll call the nurse so they can explain it to you.”
It doesn’t take long before a nurse and a doctor comes in to check on him. They start talking, giving him information that his brain struggles to keep up with, but he trusts his friends to remember. Or he trusts Kevin to remember at least. Jakob barely remembers where he’s supposed to be at times and always has to be reminded, which is usually Axel’s job.
Axel tries to speak at one point, to ask a question but it’s still impossible to form words.
The doctor informs him he might be suffering from something called dysarthria (a word Axel forgets only half a second later.)
Once the doctor and the nurse leaves the three friends are left alone once again.
Axel realizes something all of a sudden and looks towards the clock on the wall but can’t see enough without his glasses to tell what time it is.
“It’s seven pm. You were out for quite some time.”
Kevin’s words interrupt Axel’s thoughts and make him panic. Seven, that means… His eyes widen as he realizes they’ve got half an hour before they’re supposed to be performing.
His friends see the panic on his face and immediately reassures him.
“It’s been taken care of, we’ve cancelled. People are getting their money back as well. So don’t worry, we’ve got things under control.”
Jakob’s voice is calm as he speaks but there’s an underlying tone of worry in there as well.
Axel’s collapse most likely scared his friends a lot. He could see it on their faces when he woke up after all. There’s a pang of guilt in his chest because of the worry he’s put them through. He knows it’s not his fault of course but he still can’t help it.
“We’ve cancelled some of our coming concerts as well, it will take a few weeks at least before you’re fit to be on stage again.”
Kevin speaks softly as he brushes some hair back from Axel’s forehead but Axel just panics at the words and shakes his head. They can’t let down the fans.
He looks at them both for a while; back and forth. Then gestures with his hand towards them and hopes they’ll understand what he’s trying to silently tell them. “You should do this on your own.”
They understand him immediately; of course they do. After all these years they can read each other like open books.
“No.”
Both of his friends say in unison and Jakob squeezes his hand again.
“We’re a team, there’s no KAJ without you. We’ll cancel some concerts and just perform them at a later date as soon as you’re better.”
“And I think people will be happier to see us all at a later date than to just see me and Jakob. They want to see you too. We’re not doing anything without you.”
Kevin’s words are so sweet and Axel’s chest aches at that. He loves their loyalty, but he knows there’s a risk he might not be able to sing again. They could probably work around that and have him only play the bass guitar but… Not being able to sing would kill something inside him. Not to mention not being able to talk properly. Not be able to tell a joke that would make Jakob laugh so much his whole body starts to shake and that makes Kevin light up and smile with his whole face.
He feels his eyes gloss over with tears at the thought and Kevin’s hand is on his cheek; gently wiping away a stray the tears with so much care it almost hurts.
Jakob leans down to carefully put his head on Axel’s chest; wrapping an arm around his friend and Axel reaches out and places a hand on Jakob’s head where it rests against his chest.
With his other hand he grabs Kevin’s free hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
They stay like that for a long time without speaking, they don’t have to say anything. Their soft and gentle touches combined with their unwavering support says it all really.
He stays in the hospital two more days before he gets to go home. After that there’s the speech therapy he must go through because of his dysarthria. It’s a painful struggle.
It takes him two weeks to properly get his speech back. The doctor says he’s lucky it only took him two weeks and that it could be way worse. Two weeks is long enough Axel thinks, it’s felt more like two months.
His friends made sure to be by his side as much as they could during those weeks.
They were there the first few days when he wanted to fall apart all the time.
Holding him tightly against them whenever he needed it, reminding him that he wasn’t alone and would never be.
They were there when Axel managed to form two perfect words for the first time since the injury; an exasperated “fuck off” to Jakob who at first stilled at the words in shock before his face lit up in a smile brighter than the sun.
Before Axel could blink Jakob had launched himself into his arms; laughing as he hugged him tightly. Then Kevin was there; calmer and moving slower than Jakob but with an equally bright smile of his own as he leaned in and hugged them both.
Axel had his head against Jakob’s shoulder as Kevin leaned in from the side, his forehead against Axel’s temple. The moment was perfect Axel thought as he held onto them.
Things don’t always go smoothly though, and his friends were also there when he struggled to form words and he was not progressing as much as he’d want. When he worried he might never be able to sing again. They helped him through it, Kevin sat with him and listened to Axel’s attempts at explaining his feelings, the words that came out were far from perfect and it took time to even speak a sentence. Kevin was calmly waiting for it without stressing and soon Jakob was back as well with cinnamon buns because Jakob thinks everything is solved with food.
He was right in a way because right there; settled in between his friends and chewing on his cinnamon bun everything felt just a little bit better. They stayed like that softly talking late into the night and when Axel went to sleep it was with the knowledge that no matter what he would never be alone.
Then the day finally came when he actually managed to sing through a chorus without stumbling over a single word. He remembers the feeling of absolute euphoria he felt as he stopped singing. Remembers the expression on Kervin and Jakob’s faces. They looked almost like proud parents hearing their kid perform for the first time. Ridiculous almost but he understood. This meant as much for them as it meant for him and he was ever so grateful for them.
He thinks back to his doctor’s words again and smiles. In a way the doctor was right. Axel is lucky. Not because it only took him two weeks but because through all the struggles; through all the ups and downs Kevin and Jakob were there.
He looks up at his friends that are sitting in front of him. Jakob is laughing at something, leaning on Kevin’s shoulder as his body shakes with laughter. Kevin just smiles an exasperated smile at his friend while shaking his head.
Axel smiles fondly at them. He’s a very lucky man indeed.