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“Kookie, no, don’t eat it!” Taehyung dove off the couch and swiped the DS game card out of Jeongguk’s hands before the child could get his drooly mouth on it. Instead of crying, Jeongguk blabbed loud nonsense that sounded like something adults yelled whenever they were having a bad day. Taehyung ignored the grabby hands reaching for his DS, and went back to his spot on the couch by Jimin.
Jimin poked him with his foot. “I told you not to leave it lying around,” he said, holding out his arms for Jeongguk to walk toward him.
“Why do babies always gotta stick things in their mouth? I see cool stuff on the ground all the time, but it doesn’t make me wanna stick it in my mouth.” Another reason why, despite Seokjin’s persistence that Jeongguk was an intelligent baby, Taehyung was still smarter than him.
Jimin placed Jeongguk on his lap, making sure the baby was comfortable and had a good view of Taehyung playing his video game. He placed his chin on top of Jeongguk’s head, the smell of baby shampoo making Jimin sigh. “...Yes you do. You did it yesterday at the park.”
“That’s not the point, Jimin.”
The two boys were stationed at Namjoon and Seokjin’s apartment, something that was a regular occurrence since the boys only lived a few blocks down in another building. During summer the boys spent most of their days at the Kim household if they didn’t have their own family obligations, and Namjoon and Seokjin weren’t busy.
Taehyung paused his game and handed it over to Jimin. “I’m gonna get some banana milk. Make sure Kookie doesn’t touch my game.” He hopped off toward the kitchen, ignoring Jeongguk swiping his hand at him.
At 8-years-old, Taehyung declared himself and Jimin grown up and totally Responsible ™. Which was why when Taehyung stepped into the kitchen and the first sentence he heard was, “Who’s going to babysit Kookie?” he couldn’t help but exclaim, “Who? What? Where’re you going?”
Namjoon and Seokjin were sitting around the table, their laptop opened on some fancy looking website. Taehyung bounded up to them, throwing his body over Namjoon’s legs. “Why does Kookie need a babysitter?”
He made a noise at Namjoon’s large hand falling on his head and ruffling up his hair. Namjoon made a mental note to ask Taehyung’s mom if he could trim the kid’s hair so the poor boy could see properly. “Me and Seokjin want to go out tomorrow but we need someone to watch Jeongguk,” Namjoon said. “It’s last minute, but---”
Taehyung jumped up, flying Namjoon’s hand off his head. “I can watch him!”
The look of panic was brief on Namjoon’s face and covered up by a nervous smile. “You’re only eight, Tae.”
“But my aunt lets me watch my little cousins all the time!” Taehyung argued. Yeah, he watched them at their house while all the grown ups were just outside socializing, but it still counted! He was still put in charge. “I’m old enough to watch Jeongguk and Jimin can be there with me. He’s responsible too!”
Namjoon’s counter-argument was that Taehyung and Jimin were both (big) babies, and it wouldn’t make sense to have babies babysitting a baby. He really didn’t want to come back home to find the apartment on fire and all three boys fugitives on the run. He didn’t get a chance to express his wild assumptions for Seokjin had spoken up.
“That’s fine. You and Jimin can watch Jeongguk tomorrow.”
“Wait, what? ” Namjoon looked back at Seokjin, eyes narrowed so judgingly at him he thought Seokjin would break.
All Seokjin did was smile. “Yeah. And Yoongi’s coming over tomorrow, so they can watch him too.”
Taehyung snorted so hard it actually hurt. He rubbed his nose, tears prickling the corner of his eyes. “Yoongi’s not a baby.”
“Yeah, he’s not,” Namjoon said, continuing to judge Seokjin.
“You don’t have to be a baby to have someone watch you. It’ll only be for a few hours and I’ll ask your parents if you can sleep over since it’ll be later. I’ll even pay you and Jimin. Do we have a deal?” Seokjin asked. Taehyung thought about it for barely a second, nodding his head soon after.
“Deal!” With that, he rushed back to the living room to tell Jimin the details. Seokjin chuckled, patting Namjoon’s cheeks to get rid of his frown. “You can stop looking at me like that now.”
Namjoon continued to frown but wrapped his arm loosely around Seokjin’s waist, bringing him closer. “Why did you tell him that? And how do you know Yoongi will want to watch them?”
“It just sounds like a cute idea and the experience will be good for them.” Seokjin cradled Namjoon’s face, kissing him until his scowl began to fade. “And Yoongi will agree, don’t worry about it. Nothing will happen with him there. It’s not like he hasn’t watched Jeongguk before.”
Namjoon wanted to point out that Yoongi hasn’t watched Jeongguk plus Taehyung and Jimin together. He decided to bring it up later, preferring Seokjin’s mouth on his over potentially bad ideas.
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Maybe Taehyung should have been a little more suspicious that Seokjin wanted him and Jimin to babysit both Jeongguk and Yoongi. Especially the latter, who was an adult and should technically be the one watching them all. Taehyung didn’t dwell too hard on it, because him and Jimin were still getting paid, and they were the ones who listened diligently to Seokjin’s instructions while Yoongi’s soul slowly crept away from him.
.”...And you can call us if you need anything,” Seokjin finished, picking up Jeongguk one last to time to kiss him goodbye. “Be good for them, okay?” He puckered his lips, smiling when Jeongguk gave him a less-drooly-than-usual kiss, and then turned him toward Namjoon to do the same.
Once the couple were gone, Taehyung and Jimin stood wordlessly in the kitchen. Taehyung contemplated what to do, and Jimin held Jeongguk who kept squishing his cheeks. Jimin’s cheeks were chubbier than Jeongguk’s--the baby couldn’t help but be mesmerized.
Yoongi popped up behind them and tapped each of their heads. “All right, you three. Don’t break anything.”
Taehyung whined, rubbing his head. “Shouldn’t we be telling you that? We’re babysitting you too!” Yoongi tapped his head harder again, smiling as he left the kitchen.
“I’ll be on my best behavior,” he said. By best behavior, he meant occupying the couch and taking a nap.
Jeongguk wiggled in Jimin’s grasp until he was placed down and he wobbled quickly away, yelling the entire time. “He sounds like Hobi,” Jimin mused, rubbing his poor ears and sighing when Yoongi called out, “ Shh! ”
Taehyung slung his arm around Jimin, pulling the boy in until their faces were squished together. His best friend really was softer than marshmallows. Maybe during Jeongguk’s naptime, Taehyung could nap on Jimin. “We’re gonna be the best babysitters ever and then Namjoon and Seokjin will hire us all the time. And we’ll make profit!”
“Why do we need to make Jesus?”
“No, not prophet. The other profit means like money. Hey, if we make enough we can go to Lotte World!” Taehyung squeezed Jimin harder, mind full of fun possibilities they could do once they had extra cash. “Babysitting’s easy. Nothing can go wrong.”
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Two hours passed since Namjoon and Seokjin’s departure without any incidents. Jimin and Taehyung stayed in Jeongguk’s bedroom while Yoongi continued to sleep, snoozing under his blanket.
Jimin was drawing in his sketchbook, and Taehyung was on the floor, shooting magic spells at enemies in his game, when Jeongguk began to fuss. He waddled over to them, face downcast and hands patting his tummy.
“What’s wrong, Kookie?” Jimin sat his sketchbook down, trying to hold Jeongguk but he kept squirming. “Are you hungry?” The child nodded, still patting his stomach.
“He’s hungry already?” Taehyung sat up and touched his own stomach. “I guess it is time to eat. What should we make him?”
“Shouldn’t we ask Yoongi to make something?” Jimin asked. Jeongguk finally allowed himself to be held, his head on Jimin’s shoulder.
Taehyung tsked, already heading out to the kitchen. “Yoongi’s too grouchy when you wake him up. Besides, I know how to cook! I’ve watched Seokjin cook all the time.” Jimin didn’t want to hurt Taehyung’s feelings by explaining how cereal and cheese toast didn’t really count as cooking.
When they got to the kitchen, Jimin sat Jeongguk down and Taehyung pulled Jimin beside him, opening up one of the cabinets. Taehyung tried to judge what to make with the ingredients before them, and began pulling out random things and setting them on the counter. So far he grabbed flour, half a bag of rice, and bread.
“We should make cake!” he suggested.
Jimin scrunched up his nose at him.“That’s not filling for a baby.”
“I meant cake for myself.”
Too busy in their discussion, the boys failed to monitor Jeongguk until something heavy slammed onto the floor, and a cloud of white smoke erupted behind them. Taehyung jumped, yelling, “ Fire! Where’s Kookie!?”
“It’s not fire!” Jimin coughed, waving his hand but their view was still shrouded. “It’s...flour?” A cheery giggle came from the white mass, and they realized Jeongguk was dancing around the fallen bag of flour. Taehyung quickly picked him up and frowned at the ghostly baby.
“How did you even reach it!” Taehyung exclaimed. Jeongguk answered by sneezing, spit landing on Taehyung’s face. “Jimin, why are babies so gross?” The other boy shook his head, not entirely sure himself.
“Here, you go clean him up and I’ll clean up the kitchen before Yoongi sees,” Taehyung said, shoving Jeongguk into Jimin’s arms. As they shuffled out of the kitchen, they trekked a trail of white footsteps all the way into the bathroom. Taehyung hung his head. He wondered if he could ask Seokjin for more money without giving away why.
Jimin remembered that Seokjin said not to give Jeongguk a bath unless Yoongi helped. Yoongi was still snoozing the night away, and Jimin really did not want to face his wrath if he saw Jeongguk’s appearance. Jimin figured using a wet washcloth would suffice. “I’ve had to quickly clean Jihyun like this a bunch of times,” Jimin reasoned, shuddering at the days his baby brother would spit up all over himself.
He placed Jeongguk in the tub, not wanting to make the bathroom messy, and scowled at the toddler-shaped flour print left on his t-shirt. “You owe me another shirt,” Jimin grumbled. It was his favorite shirt too! It had owls and ducks wearing space battle gear and fighting each other with laser beams.
As Jimin grabbed a washcloth out of the linen closet, Jeongguk began banging on the edge of the tub. “Ji!” he called, hand pointing at the cabinet above the sink. “JiJi!”
“There’s nothing in there for you,” Jimin said, poking the baby’s cheek, but that only caused Jeongguk to whine and cry his name more. “Okay, okay, um.” At Jeongguk’s demand (because Jimin never questioned taking orders from a baby), Jimin opened the cabinet.
Jeongguk began hopping, estatically yelling louder. “Bubbles!”
“Shh, you’re gonna wake up Yoongi!” Jimin scolded. “What’s in here anyway--oh.”
Jimin pulled out a big bottle of bright green bubble bath. Its label had a picture of a dinosaur wearing sunglasses while surfing over giant bubble waves. He had barely unscrewed the cap before a light, watermelon fragrance filled the air. “Hey, I think my mom used to get me this kind.”
Jeongguk smiled, hand shaking at the bottle as he cooed. “Bubbles.”
“Kookie, I can’t give you a bubble bath.” Regardless, he placed the bottle on the tub’s edge. “I can use a tiny bit to clean you but I can’t make a full bath, okay?”
Jimin took Jeongguk’s blank stare as a yes, and proceeded to help Jeongguk out of his clothes and diaper. “...Maybe we should’ve changed you earlier,” Jimin said, frowning at the wet diaper. Jeongguk nodded like he agreed.
Jimin decided to wet the cloth using the tub’s faucet, except when he pulled the valve, instead of trickling from the faucet, the water shot out of the showerhead and sprayed right on them. Jeongguk squeaked, waving his arms around and knocking the bottle of bubble bath into the tub. The cap popped off and green liquid splattered all over the tub and Jeongguk.
At 8-years-old, Jimin’s soul left his body and he hasn’t seen it since.
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Taehyung sat on the floor, slightly sweaty and with flour still up his nose that made him sneeze every minute. He managed to sweep some of the flour away, but the rest he had to scrub off the floor plus whatever surface space it had gotten on. He didn’t even work this hard at his chores back home; somehow he was more wary of Seokjin and Namjoon’s reaction to any mess than he was with his own foster parents.
“I hate cleaning,” he groaned, standing up on achy legs. Maybe this was what Yoongi felt whenever he complained about body aches, even though he was young and still in very good health. Maybe he just liked whining like Jeongguk sometimes enjoyed doing.
Taehyung glanced over to see Jimin walking in, holding Jeongguk’s hand. The baby was dressed in his rabbit footed pajamas, his cheeks rosy and hair freshly washed. Taehyung sniffed the air and sneezed. A piece of his brain might have flown out. “What’s that smell?” he asked.
Jeongguk giggled. Jimin’s eyes continued to look more dead by the second. “Don’t ask.”
All three boys migrated to the living room, where Yoongi still slumbered. Jeongguk yawned and rubbed his face on Jimin’s leg. Taehyung yawned as well.
“I’m really exhausted,” Taehyung said, making himself room on the couch by pulling Yoongi’s legs over his lap. “I think I’m gonna take a little break.” He closed his eyes, already knocked out before Jimin could ask him for how long.
“Yeah, a break sounds nice. Right, Kookie?” Jimin smiled as Jeongguk kept rubbing his eyes. He finally picked him up and placed him on Yoongi’s chest. He moved Yoongi’s arm around Jeongguk so the baby was secured. Jimin then took a spot beside Taehyung, resting his head on his shoulder and drifting off to sleep.
When Yoongi woke up a few minutes later, he briefly glanced at the kids, smiled, and went back to sleep.
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“I’m shocked. They didn’t set the apartment on fire!” Namjoon joked, unlocking the front door. “I’m very impressed.”
Seokjin pushed at Namjoon’s shoulder, ignoring the other’s comment of “feeling rough, hm?”
“You need to stop,” Seokjin hiccuped, hugging Namjoon’s back anyway. He had a great time out, but now he was ready to smother his son with kisses and then cuddle in bed with Namjoon. He expected the kids to be crowded around the door for their arrival or to hear them yelling all over the place. Rather it was quiet, too quiet to not be suspicious.
“I think the boys smothered Yoongi and now they’re on the run,” Namjoon said, earning a sharp flick on the back of his neck. “Ow! Why are you being mean?”
“I’m not, you’re---” Seokjin stopped, words disappearing as they stood in the living room. “Oh. Okay.”
There was Yoongi on the couch with Jeongguk snuggled up on his chest. Taehyung and Jimin were huddled close to each other at the end, their hands loosely holding one another. All four of them were passed out, softly snoring.
Namjoon cocked his head to the side, eyebrows raised. “I wasn’t expecting this.”
“Me neither.” Seokjin held up his phone and snapped a few pictures. “...Does it smell like watermelon in here to you?”