Archive of Our Own

Christmas was in full swing.

For Fuchi, this brought several problems. His midnight scrolling was interrupted by festive advertisements. When he turned on the radio, he was blasted by the same five songs, each of which had been playing months before a snowflake even hit the ground. It also meant cranking up the thermostat, or in the other words, an arduous pilgrimage out of bed.

However, Fuchi had become used to these struggles. He had adapted and overcome, and now they were nothing more than a minor frustration. There was only one obstacle he could not conquer.

“Quit struggling,” Tobi snapped. He was trying to zip up the jacket of a young, horned girl. It was about as easy as putting a feral cat in a cage. She kept flailing around, complaining about how she felt trapped.

Fuchi watched the chaos unfold from the couch. It was a miracle that he was here, although he interpreted it more as someone taking pity on him. Tobi, his best friend and the object of his affections, had invited him over for Christmas. It was a kind action, and Fuchi thought it was too kind for someone like him-- but like usual, he had accepted with a flutter in his heart.

“No! I don’t take orders from an underling!” The draconic girl, Ryuuko, complained. She had insisted on playing in the snow the moment she looked out the window. Seconds ago she was bursting with excitement, until she realized that going outside meant wearing what she called a “useless, heavy thing.” She was always claustrophobic with clothing, so naturally, a tantrum ensued.

“If you don’t wear this, we won’t play in the snow.” Tobi played his trump card. The threat was enough to make Ryuuko give in, but not before she tried puppy eyes. As usual, Tobi was not swayed by her expression.

Fuchi fiddled with the ends of his scarf, waiting patiently. He vaguely recalled building snowmen as a child, but he didn’t try to investigate that memory. Focusing on the past was a bad idea. Instead, he scanned his newly-festive surroundings. He had bought several decorations from a thrift store-- cheap wreaths of holly, antique snowmen figurines, and even a bush of mistletoe.

The last one made Tobi raise an eyebrow. Fuchi insisted that the mistletoe was on sale, then doubled down by saying he didn’t know its romantic implications. All of it was a complete lie; Fuchi was very much aware of its meaning, and had gotten it to entertain one of his silly fantasies. Now, he realized that fantasy was completely stupid. The longer Fuchi looked at the mistletoe, the more he regretted getting it. He considered throwing it into a dumpster, right where it belonged.

“Fuchi, we’re leaving.”

A monotone voice shook him from his delusions. Fuchi glanced up and saw Tobi standing by the door, holding Ryuuko’s hand. The other boy stared back, head tilting. His expression seemed to say, “I know what you were looking at.” Or maybe that was just Fuchi, over-analyzing Tobi like always-- studying his face, misinterpreting his behavior, reading too far into his actions.

“Sorry,” Fuchi apologized quickly, hurrying outside. That was enough desperate thinking.

~~~

The park was enveloped in winter. Thick, white snow blanketed a wide square of land. Rows of dark trees emerged from the sea of white, bark etched with frost. They stretched their bare arms into the sky like they were trying to catch the snowflakes. Fuchi shivered, already feeling the cold seep through his jacket, but it was too late to head back now.

The trio walked along the path, boots crunching against the snow. The air was freezing, and each breath made them exhale pale mist. Ryuuko was skipping, her tantrum having been replaced with wonder; she kept snatching at the snowflakes which drifted past her. Tobi clutched her hand, eyes shifting back and forth like he was searching for a threat. Fuchi trailed beside him, hands shoved into his pockets. Even with gloves, his fingers were already going numb.

“I wanna go jump in the snow!” Ryuuko yelled, straining against Tobi’s grip like a dog on a leash. He held her back, still scanning the environment.

Tobi was always wary of his surroundings, a habit picked up from traveling the spirit realm. He glanced around like he expected a Zingai monster to suddenly jump out. His free hand was wrapped around the strap of his backpack. When Tobi was like this, Fuchi took the opportunity to stare, watching Tobi from the corner of his eye. He would always steal glances if the other boy were distracted.

“Alright, you’re free. Just don’t run off too far, and don’t mess with anyone.” Tobi gave a stern look to Ryuuko before releasing her hand.

Ryuuko bounded across the snow. She waved her arms in the air, clawed nails straining against her mittens. Her silver river of hair had been bundled up and shoved under her coat. That left one non-human attribute still visible: her horns. They gleamed golden in the sun, asymmetrical and twisted. Fortunately, the excuse of “reindeer antlers” silenced any suspicions.

Fuchi watched her play around in the snow, then glanced back at Tobi. In the frigid cold, Fuchi’s body was trembling, but his heart swelled with warmth. He was glad that Ryuuko had such a wonderful caretaker. Her childhood would be filled with happy memories.

As time went on, Fuchi was unable to control his gaze. Tobi’s eyes were like a magnet, pulling Fuchi’s gaze with an irresistible force. His vision was poor, but Tobi managed to look perfect, even in low resolution. Inevitably, Tobi noticed the looks which peppered his face. He stared back calmly.

Fuchi instantly locked his eyes forward, gulping. The warmth in his body was a temporary cure to his shivering. “So, uh… are you a fan of winter?”

“Absolutely. Probably not as much as she is, though,” Tobi said, shifting his gaze to Ryuuko. The girl had a smile so bright that it should’ve melted away the winter. “Summer is too hot for my liking.”

Fuchi knew Tobi’s body ran hot. The boy’s metabolism could burn through food like it was nothing. He was the polar opposite to Fuchi, who was chronically cold and always wore an extra layer-- even now, the chill was already getting to him. If they cuddled, their temperatures would even out into perfection. Opposites attract, right?

There he was, doing it again. He needed to stop thinking like this.

“I’m kind of the opposite,” Fuchi replied after an awkward pause. “I mean, summer is a bit busy for my liking, but I like that it’s warm.”

“You do seem cold,” Tobi observed, gaze scanning up and down Fuchi’s body. “You’re shivering.”

“I’m alright, really,” Fuchi said, forcing his lips up into a smile. However, there was no forcing his body to stop quivering, as much as he tensed his muscles.

“Are you sure? You can have my jacket.”

“I-I’m not too cold,” Fuchi said, but his teeth had begun to chatter, breaking up his response. Before it had been rather obvious, but now it was extremely obvious. He was, in fact, very cold.

“I was getting kind of hot in it, anyway.” Before Fuchi could complain, Tobi was already taking off his jacket. “Here.”

It was like he knew that Fuchi couldn’t refuse an offer. He reluctantly took the jacket with numb hands. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” Tobi said, now dressed in a simple black turtleneck. Not even that was enough to contain his body heat, which radiated off in waves. It made Fuchi feel a little better about stealing from him.

Fuchi slipped his arms into the sleeves. It was a bit undersized, but he managed to pull it around himself. He stretched his arms, enjoying the way it came pre-heated. The coat was loose and lightweight, the kind of clothing that was easy to move around in.

“It’s good,” Fuchi said instead, even though it was infinitely more than good. He would have liked to melt into this jacket. He was lost in the scent, a hint of sweat and cigarette smoke which mixed with Tobi’s faint cologne; he wanted to shove the sleeve against his nose and simply inhale. He reminded himself to just shut up, and to stop thinking such strange thoughts. He was just wearing a jacket. That shouldn’t cause fantasies of wearing even more of Tobi’s clothes.

“Are you sure you’re warm enough?” Tobi tilted his head, studying him.

“Yes,” Fuchi said reflexively, then realized he was trembling again. Perhaps this was due to the intensity of his thoughts, or the way that Tobi looked at him, or an embarrassing mix of both. He clenched his hands together, trying to redirect all the tension into his fists. Every second, his body steadily warmed up.

“You’re still shivering. We can always go back and get more layers.” Tobi stepped closer to him, trying to get a gauge on Fuchi’s body heat. “Oh. You feel really warm.”

That only made Fuchi shiver more, and his mind plunged into delusions. Tobi was the burning sun at the center of his mind, and all of Fuchi’s thoughts revolved around him. He wanted to wrap his arms around Tobi, pull him in until their bodies were pressing, maybe press a kiss on his cheek.

I’m sorry. Fuchi thought, internally apologizing. He needed to stop this. It was obvious that nothing would ever happen, that his hopes were worth less than a penny. If that were true, then why couldn’t his head shut up? Fuchi forced himself to focus on the conversation, opening his mouth to speak--

“What did you say?” Tobi said, voice softening imperceptibly.

“Huh?” Fuchi blinked at him, suddenly distracted by his own confusion.

“You mumbled ‘I’m sorry.’”

“What--” Panic filled Fuchi’s voice. Had his thoughts possessed him? “Did I?”

Tobi studied his reaction, eyebrows furrowing. Fuchi wished his friend didn’t have such sharp hearing. “Fuchi, what’s going on?”

“Nothing. I’m fine,” Fuchi responded hastily. At least he had only said “I’m sorry,” and not one of the many embarrassing thoughts he often had. He averted his gaze, staring at his shoes like they suddenly transformed into gold.

“You don’t seem very fine,” Tobi said, and he was still standing oh-so close to Fuchi. Fuchi would burn into a pile of ashes if this kept up.

“I’m sorry that I, uh, stole the last packet of ramen you bought,” he stammered. His fists were trembling with the effort of steadying himself, all to no avail.

“I don’t care about that,” Tobi said flatly. His eyes were burning holes into Fuchi’s face. “Besides, you’ve already apologized.”

Fuchi went quiet. His silence proved his guiltiness. Lying to Tobi was hopeless.

“We can talk about it at the apartment, alright?” Tobi said, taking a step back.

“That sounds good.” Fuchi looked back, relieved.

The two stood in awkward silence, eyes glued together. Any normal person would have turned away, but they both decided on one action: holding each other’s gaze for a moment too long. Fuchi gulped, warmth rushing over his face. All he could focus on were Tobi’s beige irises, colored like sand, but warmer than any desert. And that round face, soft cheeks painted pink because of the cold; then that straight hair he wanted to touch, because it looked softer than any blanket. Stop it. Fuchi needed to look away, he was staring too hard, and this sight was too beautiful for him--

Suddenly, there was a high-pitched cry. “Think fast!”

An instant later, a snowball shot through the air, slamming into Fuchi. Like a white grenade, it exploded into powdery shrapnel. He jerked back in shock, center of gravity tipping off his feet. Ironically, his reaction to being hit was what ended up tripping him, not the actual projectile itself.

Tobi, whose reaction time was faster than a cat’s reflexes, sprung into action. His arms bolted forward, swooping around either side of Fuchi. Then, he swung the other boy towards himself. The momentum of the fall was redirected into a hug. Their bodies thumped together, and Tobi locked them together. For a single, heavenly moment, Fuchi was embracing the most perfect person in the world.

Immediately, Tobi ripped himself out of the hug, practically stumbling back. Maybe it was just the temperature, but his cheeks seemed to be even redder. “Sorry. I would have stopped that snowball, but I was distracted.”

“I-- I, uh--” Fuchi was too flustered to respond, but fortunately, Tobi had already vanished. His body was frozen by something other than the cold, his face was basically on fire, and his thoughts were spinning around like a drunk ballerina.

When Tobi returned, there was a scowl on his face. He shoved a giggling girl in front of him. “She threw a snowball at you. Ryuuko, apologize.”

Ryuuko’s joy was so bright, it could be seen through a winter snowstorm. Laughter bubbled from her throat, and when she saw Fuchi, it shot up like a geyser. “Look! Tobi hugged you!”

Fuchi wanted to thank Ryuuko, and then ask her to throw another snowball, and a thousand more after that-- because if hugging Tobi happened after every time, it would all be worth it. Yet he couldn’t respond because he was currently a blushing mess, and all he could do was stare at the person he was enamored with.

“Don’t laugh at him,” Tobi scolded, gaze flickering onto Fuchi’s. When he saw the other boy looking back at him, his cheeks darkened. A deep shade of crimson wrapped around his face, redder than holly berries. It betrayed his apathetic expression.

“See! You like it, too!” Ryuuko yelled triumphantly. She leaped upwards, waving her hands in the air. “Admit it, minion!”

“What are you talking about, Ryuuko?” Tobi sighed, crossing his arms. He glanced at Fuchi from the corner of his eye, pressed his lips together, then stared back at Ryuuko. “Sorry. She gets like this sometimes. You know, kids.”

“Buchi is wearing your jacket!” the draconic girl yelped, poking Tobi. “That means you like him!”

Tobi slapped her hand away, but in a kind of gentle way that made Fuchi’s heart warm. “That’s not what it means,” he said coolly. “I’m just helping out a friend.”

Ryuuko stuck her tongue out at him, but said nothing more. Instead, she bounded over to Fuchi and pointed at him. “I beat you, Buchi! You’re bad at snowballs!”

Fuchi was still struggling to comprehend what had just happened. First the snowball, then the hug, and finally this conversation. Children truly had no filters. He clawed his gaze off of Tobi, focusing it on Ryuuko. “Ah, I guess you did…”

“Your teammate surrendered!” Ryuuko turned her index finger to Tobi, then pummeled her fists into the air, shouting, “I claim victory as the queen of snow!”

“Ryuuko, that’s enough.” Tobi snatched her hand, tugging her to his side. “Let’s go home.”

“But I wanna play more!” Ryuuko cried, struggling to break free.

Tobi held her back. “You’ve done enough. We can go back to the apartment and decorate the tree, if you’re good.”

“Fine!” Ryuuko pouted. “I’ll obey your command for now!”

Tobi looked to Fuchi, this time with a more composed expression. “I’m sorry about her,” he said, the blush fading from his face.

“I don’t mind,” Fuchi responded, and this time, he meant it. He walked towards Tobi, nerves still buzzing with excitement. Tobi had hugged him, and then he had blushed. Never in his entire life had Fuchi seen his friend have such an expression. What could it mean? He slapped his delusional mind. No, the hug was just to stop him from tripping, and the blush was because of the cold, or embarrassment, or literally anything else. There was nothing more to it.

Fuchi swallowed his fantasies and trailed after Tobi.

~~~

After a short walk, the trio reached the apartment. Fuchi ducked under the doorway, immediately grateful for the invention of the thermostat. Reluctantly, he slipped his jacket off and handed it back to Tobi.

Tobi took his jacket. “Do you want to talk about…” he made a gesture. “Right now, or later?”

Fuchi’s heart skipped a beat as he remembered. He would have to come up with an excuse soon, because there was no way he was admitting it. “Later, please.”

Tobi nodded, disappearing into a nearby closet. Ryuuko skipped towards the Christmas tree, then waved at Fuchi. “Buchi, come look!”

Fuchi approached the tree. It stood in the corner of the room, long and narrow. It was about as tall as him, but only a foot wide. He brushed his hand against it, noting the plastic feel of the artificial needles. A single string of lights wrapped around it like a spiraling snake, each bulb dull and flickering. All in all, the whole setup seemed cheap and well-worn.

“It’s a tree,” Fuchi stated. There wasn’t anything significant enough to point out.

“No, look at this!” Ryuuko pointed into the base of the pine tree.

Fuchi squinted, only seeing green. Was this a prank, or was he blind? The latter option was probably correct. He pulled out his phone, pointing the camera onto the spot Ryuuko was showing him. His eyes widened when it came into focus. There was a bush of mistletoe shoved into the branches, the one that he had wasted his money on. He gasped. “W-What-- why did you move it there?”

Ryuuko grinned, wagging a finger at him. “You’ll see!”

Before Fuchi had time to respond to that ominous statement, Tobi returned. The other boy had taken off his turtleneck, replacing it with a casual, short-sleeved shirt. Fuchi forced himself to look at the cardboard box his friend carried. Tobi placed it on the coffee table, several objects clinking inside as it was set down. He opened the box, revealing a jumble of round balls. “Here they are.”

“Ornaments!” Ryuuko sprinted over, running her hands through the box like she was digging for treasure. Each orb gleamed as brightly as her eyes. “They’re so shiny!”

Fuchi stared at the mistletoe for a moment longer. He dismissed Ryuuko’s behavior as it was-- just a child making no sense, doing things for no reason. He shook his head clear, shuffling over to the box of ornaments.

“We can pick out a few to hang up,” Tobi said, skimming his fingers over the spheres.

“Sounds good,” Fuchi said, kneeling down so he could reach the box. He wrapped his fingers around a decoration, lifting it up a few inches. However, he was interrupted by Ryuuko, who brazenly pushed her hands past him. Fuchi dropped his ornament in surprise.

Tobi noticed this and went to retrieve it for him, but Fuchi was already going for it, too. Inevitably, their hands made contact. Their skin brushed up against each other for a single moment. “Sorry,” Fuchi said hastily, whipping his hand back. Butterflies fluttered around in his stomach; he wanted to whack each of them with a flyswatter.

“You can have it,” Tobi said in his monotone voice, withdrawing his hand. He seemed unaffected, but Fuchi didn’t want to look up and check. He reached for the orb, hands trembling as he went to hang it up on a branch.

Eventually, ornaments were hung all over the Christmas tree, each sparkling like a large, colorful dew drop. Fuchi was careful to make no accidental contact with Tobi, otherwise his heart would have gone so fast it would explode.

The bush of mistletoe was still shoved into the base of the tree. Each time Fuchi passed it, he wanted to throw it away. However, with Tobi in the room, there had been no opportunity to remove it. Fuchi didn’t have a good sleight of hand, and was notoriously incapable of lying. Fortunately, Ryuuko had hidden it well among the needles, so hopefully Tobi hadn’t noticed.

“I wanna put the star on top!” Ryuuko reached into the box, drawing out a pointy, golden trinket. She scrambled over to the base of the tree, hopping up and down. “Help me up, now!”

Tobi ignored her, glancing at Fuchi. “Do you want to try it?”

“She seems eager. I’ll let her do it,” Fuchi said, but that was not the real reason; Ryuuko deserved this reward for unintentionally setting up a hug.

“Really? Alright.” Tobi shrugged, striding towards the tree. He leaned down, grabbing Ryuuko’s waist to lift her.

Fuchi followed him, checking the base of the tree. His breath caught in his throat when he saw it. The mistletoe was gone. He flinched, panic hitting him like a bullet. Had it fallen out? No, it was nowhere to be seen. How had this happened, what was going on, what should he do?

“Yay!” Ryuuko cheered as she was hefted upwards. She waved the golden star around like it was a scepter, and she was a queen. “I am above the world!”

Tobi stood on his tip toes, stretching his arms as long as they could. Ryuuko was raised up until she could reach the tip of the tree. “Find a good branch to put it on.”

Fuchi was still glancing around, wondering where on earth the mistletoe had teleported to. There was no way it could just vanish. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, he would soon have his answer.

“You’ve fallen for my trap!” Ryuuko did her best impression of an evil laugh, stuffing her hand into her pocket. She pulled out the bush of mistletoe and shoved it in front of her. “Behold, my secret weapon!”

“W--What--” Fuchi sputtered, because Ryuuko wasn’t just throwing it. No, she was doing something far worse. She had put it between him and Tobi, dangling it over their heads: a very specific position with a very specific meaning.

Before he could even register it, Fuchi was already looking at Tobi. For a single, terrifying moment, everything played out in slow motion. The other boy had a conflicted expression, like a dozen emotions were fighting for control of his face. His jaw dropped in shock, then his eyebrows slanted in anger, and then the final feeling reigned over it all. A red-hot blush blazed over his face, as if he were suddenly engulfed in fire.

A heartbeat passed before Tobi snapped back to normal. Any indicator of an expression was wiped clean, leaving his face perfectly neutral. The only thing that remained was his flush, which was still burning strong.

“Ryuuko, I’m going to kill you,” he muttered under his breath, lowering her safely to the ground. He grabbed the mistletoe, dropping it on the floor. “You’re banned from putting the star on the tree. Quit messing around.”

Fuchi was frozen stiff, and he was certain he was blushing as hard as Tobi was. His entire body felt as hot as the sun, and his heart was running faster than a racehorse.

Ryuuko placed her hands on her hips. “No! Henchmen must be honest!”

“What are you talking about?” Tobi rubbed a hand over his face, as if he could scrub away the crimson color. “Nevermind. I don’t even want to know.”

“You’re in love!” Ryuuko cried out, pointing at Tobi like she was accusing him of a crime.

“No. That’s enough talking.” Tobi’s cheeks darkened. He shoved her away gently, slinging his backpack off. “Take Baku and go to my room.”

“Liar!” the draconic girl grumbled, snatching the backpack anyways. She tossed the golden star on the ground with a clatter. “I can’t stand being around a traitor!”

Ryuuko stormed away, each step heavy as an elephant, and Baku dragged behind her. When she stomped her way to the bedroom, she closed the door-- but not fully. It was cracked open, giving her a slit of vision into the rest of the apartment. She watched Fuchi and Tobi, beaming with curiosity.

“Close it,” Tobi called after her, eyes narrowing.

The door slammed shut with a loud groan.

Tobi’s cheeks were still painted scarlet. He sighed, tipping his head back and pinching his nose like an exasperated parent. “She’s been crazy recently, huh?”

Fuchi’s mind was whirling around. Was he supposed to just pretend like nothing ever happened? That seemed like the correct answer. “Y-yeah, haha…” he said, laughing nervously.

Tobi glanced over. “I’m really sorry. I’ll yell at her later, I promise.”

“Uh, t-thanks,” Fuchi stuttered. He blinked up at the spot where the mistletoe had been. He just had to shrug it off. No big deal. It was like nothing substantial had ever happened in this exact place.

Tobi followed his eyes, staring at the invisible spot above their heads. After an awkward pause, he spoke. “So… you do know what it means.” His tone was neutral, devoid of any inflection.

Fuchi flinched. Right. The mistletoe which he had brought, then denied that he had any idea of the popular Christmas myth-- that according to some stupid tradition, he and Tobi now had to… well. Why did Tobi have to bring it up? Even though Fuchi had desperately hoped that he was convincing, it was obvious that Tobi knew. His lies were about as transparent as a window, so his friend could see through them easily.

“I, um, yeah. I know what it means.” Fuchi said. The admittal made his cheeks burn up. He dropped his head, hair covering his face like a dark veil. Well, it’s not like they had to do that now, because the mistletoe was gone. As far as he knew, there was no lasting obligation. That was assuming that they would do this silly thing in the first place. Of course not. Why were they even talking about it? Actually, why was Fuchi even thinking about it? He needed to stop.

“Is that why you bought it?” Tobi said. He was calm. Cool. Composed. All of the things that, as of now, his friend was the complete opposite of.

“Yes,” Fuchi whispered, the confession making his skin smolder. Fire was engulfing his body, and just like when he was in the winter park, he was sure Tobi could feel it. He wanted to lie and say that the mistletoe was for decoration, but he already knew how hopeless that was. It’s not like Tobi would do anything with the new information. He was just asking questions for… casual, friend-related reasons.

Tobi kneeled down to the floor, picking up the fallen mistletoe. He rose back up, running his fingers over the leaves. “Got it,” he hummed, looking thoughtfully at the plant in his hands. His face was powdered pink.

Fuchi glanced between the mistletoe and Tobi, eyes switching back and forth faster than a ping pong ball. He suddenly wished that he could learn how to read minds. What was Tobi thinking? Was there some kind of unspoken signal that Fuchi should be getting? He was paralyzed by his indecision. But it didn’t matter, because he was just being delusional again, and nothing special would ever happen.

“Wait.” Tobi glanced over, the blush dropping from his face. He crushed the mistletoe in his hand. “We still need to talk. Back at the park, you apologized for something.”

Fuchi rummaged through his memories. The reminder of the park was like a flamethrower to his face. “That’s because I felt bad, that I-- uh…” he trailed off. I felt bad that I like you and I want to be with you forever. No, he couldn’t finish like that. What a foolish idea.

“That you…?” Tobi prompted softly, unfurling his hands to reveal the mistletoe. The plant looked sad, bruised, damaged-- and that would be their relationship, if Fuchi confessed.

He gulped, blood rushing to his face. There was no way he could ruin a perfectly good friendship like this, let alone burden someone with his unrequited feelings. But he knew that if he lied, like he had done last time, Tobi would know. Fuchi settled for a different response, one that he hoped could be accepted.

“I’m sorry,” Fuchi said, letting his thoughts spill right out of his mouth. “I can’t tell you. If I did, everything would be ruined. We would be ruined. I can’t, I just can’t…”

“I promise we won’t stop being friends.” Tobi whispered. “You can tell me anything.”

“Then, can I ask you something?” Fuchi’s heart was doing backflips. He was falling for it-- falling for Tobi’s words, but most of all, for the one-in-a-billion chance that this could somehow work out.

“Absolutely,” Tobi said firmly, not at all prepared for the imminent calamity.

“The way we hugged back at the park, and then all the times you were blushing, and when we touched hands while we were hanging up ornaments--” Fuchi was rambling now, shocking himself at his own coherence. “--did it mean anything?”

“It means that I--” Tobi paused, face splashed with a fresh burst of red. “Wait, can you elaborate first?”

“Uh, yeah,” Fuchi said, forcing himself to look at Tobi. He erased the seal on his self-control. Everything which had been pent up flooded out. “I think I like you, but in more of a uh, like like kind of way. But I didn’t want to tell you, because I think that it’s stupid, because I’m stupid--” Fuchi winced, eyebrows knitting together. “--and um, I wanted to know if you like me back. But, you don’t have to say yes. I know I’m being weird. I’m sorry. You can stop being my friend after this, and I won’t feel bad at all. I just had to ask.”

The confession hung in the air. Thump. Thump. Thump. All Fuchi could hear was his heart hammering against his ribcage. The tension in the air was so thick it could be cut with a knife. His mind was currently in a frenzy. Why did he have to say that? Why didn’t he just stop and take a second to think? He had just made the biggest mistake of his entire life.

Tobi stared at him, face redder than a beet. His mouth was opened slightly, and his wide eyes flickered over Fuchi’s face. For Tobi, it was an expression of utter shock, and a stark contrast to his typically unreadable face. Each second of silence felt like an entire hour.

“Fuchi,” Tobi said breathlessly. He inhaled deeply, lungs expanding and then falling like a wave. After another excruciating pause, he spoke. “I like you too. In a more than friends kind of way.”

Fuchi felt his entire world shattering. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. No, Tobi was supposed to reject him and then hate him for all of eternity. How was it possible that Tobi Otogiri could have romantic feelings for anyone, let alone him?

“Your feelings aren’t stupid,” Tobi continued softly. His gaze was a warm river of gold, so unimaginably perfect, and flowing with an emotion never seen before. “Nothing about you is stupid. I think you’re perfect.”

Fuchi witnessed something he could only describe as a miracle. The walls that guarded Tobi’s face had melted away, and it felt like heaven on earth. The look in the other boy’s eyes was so tender, he doubted it was real. Some deep part of his mind whispered that this was real-- everything here was completely, wholly, undeniably real, no matter how much he tried to deny it.

“I don’t know what to say,” Fuchi said, voice cracking. This was unexpected, to say the least. “I didn’t think this would ever happen.”

“Me neither,” Tobi whispered. “But we’re here now, aren’t we?”

“We are,” Fuchi said. How was this happening? He told himself that this was a dream, so he could keep talking. After all, he would wake up and forget about it all. A wry smile formed on his face. “It’s kind of absurd, if you think about it.”

“Hm?” Tobi tilted his head.

“If it weren’t for Ryuuko, none of this would have happened,” Fuchi chuckled. He recalled everything-- all her accusations, the surprise snowball, her idea with the mistletoe. He couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of it all.

“You’re right.” Tobi glanced off to the side as he thought, pink still dusting his cheeks. “Maybe I owe her one.”

“I thought she was just being a kid,” Fuchi admitted. “Like, she was probably just joking around for a reaction, but… was it really that obvious?”

“Who knows? She’s hard to understand.” Tobi returned his gaze to Fuchi, eyes softening. “Though, I did have a hunch that you liked me. You were blushing and trembling all the time, but I didn’t want to assume anything.”

“You were blushing, too,” Fuchi shot back playfully. “Like when you hugged me! I thought you were just embarrassed, not because it was me you liked.”

“It was both. Ryuuko didn’t help.” Tobi narrowed his eyes at the thought. “I was just trying to stop you from tripping, and it ended up being a hug. Normally I don’t like getting close to people, but--” he paused, inching forward. “I’m okay if it’s with you.”

Fuchi’s heart fluttered with this knowledge. He was making Tobi feel good, and now his friend was pursuing his touch. He looked down at the shorter boy, smiling. Everything was becoming more real; this was actually happening. “Ah… I’m glad.”

Tobi nodded, raising the plant in his hands. “And when you got the mistletoe? I knew there was something more to it. You kept saying how it was just a decoration, so much so that you ended up being suspicious.”

“Y-Yeah,” Fuchi stammered, eyes lingering on the mistletoe. “I’m not a very good liar, huh?”

“Not at all,” Tobi agreed, following Fuchi’s look.

There was another stretch of silence as they stared at the mistletoe. In only a few life-changing minutes, the situation had changed. An opportunity blossomed. Both boys shifted their gaze to each other, and an unspoken signal was passed between them.

“Do you want to try…?” Tobi stared up at him, cheeks darkening.

“Yes,” Fuchi whispered, the words exiting before he could even think. Was he really doing this so fast? His heart picked up even more speed, pounding against his sternum.

Tobi extended his arm, dangling the mistletoe above their heads. Due to his height, it didn’t quite reach all the way, so it brushed over Fuchi’s hair. “Here, for effect. Now we have to.”

Fuchi was paralyzed. He had said yes so quickly. Did everyone do this after confessing? How was it supposed to happen? Worst of all, what if he messed up their most important moment?

Tobi recognized his panic. He pulled back gently, dropping the mistletoe. “Hey, it’s okay. We don’t actually have to do anything.”

“No. I want to,” Fuchi whispered, chasing after their proximity. “But I’m scared. I feel like I’ll screw it up.”

“Don’t be worried. This is both our first time,” Tobi said. He was a calm source of logic, the anchor of rationality that Fuchi needed. Even still, his words were easier said than done. “I think we’re supposed to just… go for it.”

Just go for it. Right. How simple. “Okay, let’s try.” Fuchi gulped, blinking down at Tobi. Right. They were just kissing. No big deal. So, how were their lips going to meet? Fuchi always wished he weren’t so tall, but at this moment, he was especially regretting it. Was he supposed to lean down, or was Tobi supposed to go on his tip toes?

He didn’t have to decide, as the other boy was already raising himself up. He drew his hands up to Fuchi’s shoulders, fingers digging in for support. He leaned in, and their chests pressed flat against each other. Both of their hearts were thumping erratically, but as they held this position, their heart rate gradually synced.

Fuchi’s body flared up, heat wrapping around Tobi like a hot cloak. Every inch of his face was burning red. He had only ever been this close to his friend in his fantasies. The other boy had placed his arms over him; was he supposed to reciprocate the contact? Fuchi reached forward uncertainly, hands hovering around the base of Tobi’s back.

Tobi shivered at that touch, tipping his head up so that it was inches away from Fuchi’s. He brought one of his hands up, rubbing it over the burn scar on Fuchi’s face. “Ready?”

Was Fuchi ready? He didn’t think so, but he convinced himself to say yes. “Ready,” he murmured, his skin tingling under Tobi’s touch.

The moment these words were spoken, a pair of lips crashed into him.

Like the way he battled, Tobi’s movements were quick and fierce. He pressed his face flush against Fuchi’s, head tilting so they could slot together. His lips were as soft as a feather, but swooped against Fuchi with the speed of a falcon. His fingers curled around Fuchi’s dark hair like talons, holding him in place.

Fuchi flinched at the sudden attack, but his ambusher pulled him in further. He felt overwhelmed, but in a good way. Their hot breaths mixed together. Fuchi tightened his hand around Tobi’s waist, grasping for some of his own control. In response, Tobi pressed in further, lips paling due to the pressure of their contact.

Tobi continued his onslaught, practically climbing onto Fuchi. He held on like he was a starving person, and Fuchi was his only meal. His pupils dilated into two black holes, wanting to devour whatever was closest to them. Fuchi scrunched his eyes shut, intimidated by the intensity of the other boy’s stare. Even still, his mind was on cloud nine.

The kiss stretched on. Tobi was the one holding the reins, and Fuchi simply surrendered. The dark-haired boy enjoyed this dynamic. He didn’t have to worry about making a wrong move, only savor the other’s touch. It gave him a sense of euphoria, and he was riding the high.

Tobi’s tongue flickered out like a snake, brushing over the seal of Fuchi’s lips. Hunger drove his movements. He was licking, indulging, tasting. Fuchi’s breath caught in his windpipe, trapping the morsel of air in his lungs. He was going to run out of oxygen if this kept on.

He tugged the back of Tobi’s shirt, tilting his head to wiggle it away from the kiss. There was a noise of complaint, and the fingers in his hair burrowed in further. Fuchi pushed gently, and reluctantly, the hot presence beside him pulled away.

They both panted for air, blood rushing to their lips. Tobi’s eyes looked like an eclipse. His dark pupils were wider than the sun, and his beige irises had been reduced to a thin ring. “I got carried away,” he said, blinking rapidly. With each pass of his eyelids, his pupils reduced in size.

Fuchi inhaled shakily. The cold air was a burst of clarity to his system. “I liked it,” he blurted, heart moving faster than his head. A heavy blush dragged down his face; this confession was somehow more embarrassing than the first one. It was true, though. The feeling he had experienced was indescribably perfect.

Tobi licked his lips, eyes gleaming. “We should try it more in the future.” Fuchi’s heart fluttered at that idea.

The two stood together in comfortable silence. Fuchi’s gaze flickered around his surroundings. Reality was coming back to him, but it still felt so surreal. Tobi liked him. Him, of all people-- he was the most tiny, diseased fish in the sea, and he had somehow been chosen.

“Ah, we still haven’t put the star on the tree,” he said, gesturing at the forgotten trinket which lay beneath them. It was joined by the sprig of mistletoe.

“Let’s do it together, then.” Tobi picked up both items in a single, swift movement.

“Do it together? How?”

“Like this.” Tobi grabbed his hand, laying it over the star. Their skin brushed up against each other. Warmth flooded from where they made contact, filling Fuchi’s entire body.

With their hands combined, they settled the star onto the tallest branch of the tree. It glittered like a golden sun, smiling down at them. Tobi stored the mistletoe beside it, letting the plant dangle invitingly.

“It’s beautiful,” Fuchi murmured, pressing his fingers into Tobi’s hand.

Tobi squeezed him back in return. “Absolutely.”

Fuchi relished the feeling of their hands. This touch was concrete, tangible, grounding him in reality. It reminded him that this was real, and the birth of a relationship.

Unfortunately, their moment would be rudely interrupted. A muffled giggle emerged from behind Fuchi.

Tobi’s eyes locked onto the source of the noise. Immediately, he went stiff, the color draining from his skin. The atmosphere shifted faster than he could blink. Whatever he saw had pierced his very being.

Fuchi glanced behind him and saw it. Immediately, he understood, his face going paler than a ghost.

”Damn it,” Tobi hissed, sliding away from Fuchi. He rushed towards the noise like a bullet, fists swinging back and forth with each step.

Fuchi watched him go, already missing the extra source of heat. Tobi’s exit was justified, however. At the far end of the hallway, the door to his bedroom was cracked open. A draconic girl was peering through.

Now that her cover was blown, Ryuuko erupted into laughter. She bent over, tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. “My minions are finally together!”

“How long have you been watching?” Tobi said coldly, his glare shooting daggers.

“Since you’ve been kissing!” Ryuuko chirped, completely unfazed by Tobi’s look.

Tobi's gaze burned with icy fire. His voice was terrifyingly even as he listed off the punishments. “No more dessert for a month. No more toys for a month. And you open your presents last.”

“What! No!” Ryuuko wailed, placing her hands on her hips defiantly. “Underlings have no authority! That’s not fair!”

“No complaining.” Tobi’s eyes narrowed into knife-thin slits. “These are the consequences.”

“You’re not my ruler!” Ryuuko cried, slamming the door in his face. It was better than having a tantrum in the open, Fuchi supposed.

Tobi sighed, rising back onto his feet. “So much for owing her one…” he muttered.

Fuchi shuffled up to his side, feeling equally as mortified. Of all the people who could have seen them kiss, it just had to be Ryuuko-- a talkative person he would probably be seeing everyday. What was he supposed to do now? He wasn’t sure how to remedy the situation; words were never his strong suit. He decided to press his body close to Tobi’s, in a kind of awkward, hands-free hug.

“Again, I’m sorry.” Tobi leaned back into his touch. “I would’ve heard her normally-- it was just like when she threw a snowball, and we were looking at each other. I get so distracted.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Fuchi said. There was something nice about knowing he had an influence on Tobi, how he could affect his friend’s near-perfect reflexes. Maybe that was a selfish thought, but he enjoyed it. He tentatively raised an arm, resting it on the other boy’s shoulder.

His attempt at comfort worked. Tobi placed his hand over Fuchi’s, trapping it. “A lot has happened,” he commented.

Fuchi paused, thinking back to their previous conversation. He recalled the phrase with a smile. “But we’re here now, aren’t we?”

Tobi glanced up at him, pink dusting his cheeks. He rubbed his fingers over Fuchi’s hand. “We are. It’s amazing when it’s with you.”

Fuchi hummed in agreement. Here Tobi was, wanting to be with him. Now felt like the time for sappy declarations of love. He lowered his head, breath tickling Tobi’s hair. “I like you,” he mumbled, wrapping an arm around Tobi’s waist.

“I do, too,” Tobi replied. He relaxed into the hug, eyelids drifting down.

Fuchi admired the boy in his arms, listened to his soft breathing, memorized every part of his appearance. Then he glanced to the star which gleamed upon the tree, and finally to the sprig of mistletoe in its branches. A warm, soft feeling blossomed inside him.

“Merry Christmas,” Fuchi whispered, chasing after one of his lover’s hands.

Tobi interlocked their fingers, sighing contentedly. “Merry Christmas.”