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I have had a good life, Marco thought as he burned incense.
The scent of cedar, cinnamon, and tulips soon filled the air.
More good than bad, his symbiote, Per’sus, replied. Per’sus was nestled partly within Marco’s brain and partly wrapped around his spine in his neck.
Marco laid down. Having just returned home, he was tired.
I’ll take care of you, Per’sus promised, already working on Marco’s aches.
Marco affectionately rubbed over Per’sus, then closed his eyes as he remembered the first time his life completely changed without warning.
~+~+~.
From blacksmith to slave, Young Marco and dozens of others had swords shoved into their hands before they were pushed into an arena. The sand burned his bare feet, and Marco shielded his eyes from the sun. A masculine voice shouted announcements in an unknown language.
“We are to fight each other,” Marco’s cousin translated with disgust. “Kill each other.”
Many of the others weren’t strangers. Marco knew them. They were neighbors, friends, family…and Marco had never taken a life before.
~+~+~.
Going down the hallway, Nelay’an was surprised when he saw a young blonde boy. He was too thin, dirty, and wore little more than rags. The boy had been so quiet, and he definitely wasn’t a host. As Nelay’an approached, he saw the boy quickly hide a piece of bread.
“Hello.” Nelay’an greeted gently as he crouched down to be more at level with the kid.
“Hello.” His blue eyes were wide with fear.
“Are you going to be a host?”
“Yes.”
“Oh.” Nelay’an sat by him. “Why are you hiding bread?”
“I don’t have bread.”
“I saw the bread.”
The boy shook his head and said with such conviction, “No sir. No bread.”
Nelay’an’s symbiote, Cordesh, laughed.
“He stole it,” Jaydin said as she approached. “We can’t thieve from each other. That is not our way.”
The boy squirmed, then held a firm look. “I am to be a host. You cannot punish me.”
“I wasn’t threatening you.” She knelt by him. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” She gestured. “Why didn’t you ask for food if you were hungry?”
“You might say no.”
“Do you know who you stole it from?”
“No.”
“Lantash.”
He hugged himself.
“Take the bread. Lantash says you can have it.”
He looked to her in surprise. “I can eat it?”
“Yes, but no more stealing. Just tell us when you are hungry.”
He finished the bread with gusto.
“Are you still hungry?”
He nodded.
“Come. We won’t have you starving.” She stood and helped him up, and she took him to the mess hall.
His eyes widened at the amount of food.
“Get a plate.”
He grabbed a plate, then looked at her.
“Get whatever you want.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Go ahead.”
Cordesh expected the boy to go for the desserts, but instead he went for meat and cheese and vegetables. He piled his plate high, then went to a table. He ate hungrily.
“Who brought you to the tunnels?” Jaydin asked. “I suspect you aren’t supposed to be alone.”
“Aldwin said I needed a bath, so I ran away.”
Jaydin and Cordesh both laughed.
“When was the last time you ate?” Jaydin sat down.
“I had an apple this morning.”
“Stolen?”
“Yes.” He smiled proudly.
~+~+~.
That first match had only been the beginning. After days of fighting, of killing, young Marco stopped seeing their faces. He had to blank them out for his own sake. It seemed to be an unspoken rule between them all.
Hundreds of prisoners were reduced to only a few dozen.
“Hear how they cheer,” a stranger sneered after another match.
“Our blood feeds their entertainment,” Marco replied. He followed orders to kneel, then waited for the guards to take them back to their cells.
Only then would they talk, to see who had survived.
Today was different though. They were separated and taken outside the arena. When Marco’s chain was handed off to a new stranger, he realized he had been sold to a lanista.
~+~+~.
Cordesh looked over as Per’sus walked in.
“You met Einar.”
“Yes. He says he is to be…” Cordesh trailed off. “Oh. He’s to be yours.”
“Yes.”
“Marco is that ill?”
“I told you.”
“Yes, but… I didn’t want to believe it.” Cordesh hugged him in tears.
Per’sus retreated.
Marco hugged him, then caressed directly over Cordesh. “We still have a little time.”
“We’d better.”
Marco chuckled and kissed him before they headed to the table.
“Did you rest good?” Einar asked.
”Yes, thank you. Your planet is too hot for my old body.” Marco smiled. “These are my siblings, Cordesh and Jaydin, and their hosts, Nelay’an and Odetta.”
Einar frowned in confusion.
“Per’sus, Jaydin, and Cordesh are clutch mates…like triplets.”
“Oh.” Einar smiled.
“No headaches?”
“They are gone.”
“Per’sus will keep them away.” He began combing his hair.
Are you seriously giving him my hairstyle? Per’sus asked. I’m not in him yet.
Shush. I want to see what he’ll look like when you are in his head. However, he stopped when Einar looked up at him. “Sorry.”
“I decorated my grave to prepare for death. Is that what you are doing?”
“Yes, but I should have asked first.”
“He had a grave?” Cordesh asked in sympathy.
“He had a spot picked out.”
“By my parents. With flowers and pretty stones,” Einar added cheerfully.
“It was beautiful,” Marco assured.
“Thank you.”
“Einar, your food choices are similar to Per’sus’ taste.”
He looked to him.
“I think you might enjoy some pie.” Marco walked away, then took a slice of rhubarb pie and poured a glass of milk. He brought it over to the kid. “Try this.”
Einar quickly drank down the milk.
“Look. You guys let him be thirsty.”
Jaydin smiled. “Our mistake.”
Einar took a bite of pie. “It’s sweet!”
“And a bit sour.” Marco smiled as the boy immediately began finishing the slice.
~+~+~.
After, Marco taught Einar the board game, ludus latrunculorum. He was surprised how quickly the boy learned.
He’s smart. You picked a good one, and look how adorable he is in your hairstyle.
I would rather have you.
Believe me, I do not wish to die, but I will not allow my failing health to hurt you. He made his move. “Einar, are you scared to be a host?”
Einar looked up to him, then moved his piece.
“It’s alright if you are. You are leaving your home, giving up your family. I was scared, and I was almost six times your age.”
“Did you have a family?”
“Thankfully, no.” He sat back slightly. “I was a gladiator. Do you know what that is?”
Einar shook his head.
“I fought others, sometimes to the death.”
“People talk. I hear stories about guards making the prisoners fight for food…or water. Did guards make you fight?”
Marco considered how much to tell the kid. Soon, Einar would have access to many painful memories, both from Marco and Per’sus.
I’ll do what I can to shield him until he is older, Per’sus promised.
~+~+~.
As the years passed, young Marco bought into the fame and glory of being a gladiator. He became skilled, loved by both men and women. Each victory made him feel like a god!
He was quite sure he was in his thirties when he purchased his own freedom, but he was not done. He had no home to go to. He couldn’t possibly return to the mundane life of a blacksmith.
So he fought…for the enjoyment, the glory, and in time, an honorable death.
It took many years, but Marco found his match, a man that would give him a glorious death. A young gladiator, new, but skilled, strong. Marco was in his forties by now.
They were locked in combat when he heard a strange noise and saw white, then Marco was suddenly surrounded by strange metallic walls. He did the most dignified thing a man could do… He passed out.
~+~+~.
“Are you letting me win?” Einar asked, breaking Marco’s thoughts.
“I am going easier on you, but this victory is yours.” Marco smiled. “You’re very clever.”
“But you let me win.”
“Shall I play at full strength?”
“Yes.”
Of course, the boy lost, and he walked off.
Marco followed. “You played well.” He crouched when he saw Einar closing his eyes. “Oh. You walked off because of a headache?”
Einar nodded as tears crept through his tightly closed eyes.
Marco picked him up. “Keep them shut.” He looked to a near guard. “He needs a healer.”
The guard left.
Einar clung as Marco carried him to Einar’s quarters. He turned off all the light crystals, then placed Einar in his bed.
Einar began violently shaking.
Marco immediately placed the boy on his side.
Kelmaa came in, then rushed when she saw the boy having a seizure. She ran a healing device over him.
“How is he?” Marco asked.
“Very ill,” she replied with sympathy. “He needs to blend.” She looked over. “Today if possible.”
Marco nodded. It’s time.
I’m not ready.
If he dies before I do, then you have no one.
Per’sus grumbled.
I love you too.
Per’sus wiggled in annoyance.
“Marco?” Einar said weakly.
Marco sat by him.
“What happened?”
“What do you remember?”
“We were playing, and now I’m in a bed.”
“You had a headache, then a seizure.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, but…today is the day.”
“I thought you had a few days.”
“You don’t.”
Einar frowned.
“You are very sick.”
He hugged himself.
Marco gently squeezed his hand. “I’m going to say goodbye to my siblings, then I will be back.”
Einar nodded.
~+~+~.
“You are a god who has lifted me to the heavens!” Marco exclaimed in shock.
”This is just a starship, not the heavens . I am just a man. My name is Gobán, host to Ocker.”
Host? Goa’uld! A god of pain and death!
Marco fearfully dropped into a low bow. “I am yours. Do with me as you please.”
~+~+~.
It had taken a lot of explaining from Gobán and Ocker, but Marco began to understand who and what the Tok’ra were. To his amazement, these people fought the gods of death and pain.
And they needed hosts.
“You must be sure,” Ocker continued. “If you prefer, I can bring you back home.”
Marco laughed. “I sought a glorious death, but instead, I have found an even more glorious fight. One worth living for.”
~+~+~.
Cordesh was in tears. “Today? Marco, you can have weeks more.”
“The boy does not. The seizure nearly killed him.”
“We can look for another host. You-“
“And let him die?”
“We can put him in stasis.”
“No.”
Cordesh glanced down. “You’re only 197 years old.”
“Cordesh,” Jaydin scolded.
“My body is at its limit,” Marco replied. “Per’sus is pushing himself to heal me.”
Cordesh nodded. “I did not mean to shame him.” He kissed Marco softly.
“It would be easier on Einar if you weren’t there.”
“Oh. Then…this is it?”
“Yes.”
“I love you, Marco.” Cordesh grabbed and hugged him firmly, then gave Nelay’an control.
Marco kissed his ear, then hugged and kissed Jaydin.
“We love you,” she said, rubbing his back before giving Odette control.
“Will you take care of my body for me? Per’sus normally does, of course, but-“
“Marco. Relax. You don’t have to ask. Of course, we don’t expect a kid to be involved.”
Marco smiled.
“We’ll take care of you.”
“Thank you.”
“Tulips?”
“Yes.” He stepped back. “When uh…when I was on my world, fighting to the cheer of the crowd, I thought I felt love. I thought I understood it.” He took their hands. “You showed me that it was a pale comparison to the truth. I love all of you, and I hope I have made you as happy as you have made me.” He smiled. “I have no regrets.”
They hugged and kissed him again, and they held for several minutes before it was time.
“Accept your new brother.”
“We will.”
As soon as Marco left, Cordesh began crying. Jaydin held him.
“I miss him already,” Cordesh admitted.
“I do too.”
~+~+~.
When Marco went back to Einar, Aldwin was there.
“Kelmaa accidentally scared him,” Aldwin whispered.
Marvo nodded, then sat down by Einar.
“How does Per’sus get in?”
“Through your mouth.”
Einar got up and went to the restroom. Aldwin followed in case the boy had another seizure. After a few minutes, Einar came out, and Aldwin was stifling a laugh.
Marco smiled when he smelled Einar’s breath and realized the boy had cleaned his mouth. You will be minty.
That will not cover the taste of blood.
“That was very kind of you.” Blood and mint? Might be a fun combination.
Per’sus both appreciated and was annoyed by the joke.
Einar smiled, then looked sad. “I’m sorry you have to die.”
"Do not worry about me. I've lived a long and productive life, and my memories will live on in Per'sus. For as long as he lives, a part of me lives."
Einar smiled a little.
"He will be sad, and you will feel it with him. He will take care of you though, and in time, you will learn to take care of him."
"I'll take care of Per'sus."
"Thank you. Are you ready?"
Einar nodded. "If you see my parents, can you tell them I love them?"
"I promise."
"Thank you." He gave a nod to himself. "I can do this."
Per’sus… Marco laughed lightly. It looks like I’m getting that great death after all. To die so that a child will live, is anything more glorious?
This is an honorable death. Per’sus sent warmth through Marco’s skin, then made the last wiggle that his beloved host would ever feel.
I love you. Marco leaned closer to Einar, thankful for Aldwin’s help.
I will always love you. Per’sus detached, moving from mouth to mouth as Marco fell forever still.
~+~+~.
Cordesh, Jaydin, and their hosts had taken care of the body, but Einar insisted that Per’sus have a personal goodbye.
I said I would take care of you, and I will. Besides, I’ve seen bodies before.
Thank you. Per’sus visited Marco before the funeral.
He smells like flowers and cinnamon.
Tulip oil, Per’sus answered, and yes, a variety of spices. Per’sus couldn’t resist fixing Marco’s hair, then kissing his forehead.
He looks peaceful.
That’s the idea. Per’sus smiled slightly before covering Marco in tulips. Then he gave Einar control.
Per’sus…? I’m sorry that he died because of-
Einar, listen to me. You didn’t kill him. He was already dying. Keeping him alive was costing my health. That’s why we went looking for a new host. No one blames you. This is how we live.
Einar nodded.
~+~+~.
The funeral was held that day. Cordesh and Jaydin stood by Einar, and it made him feel warm.
I left behind my siblings, but I gained two more.
Actually, you gained four.
Einar smiled.