Work Text:
You were in your room at your apartment when it happened. Everything was going fine, in fact you had barely thought about what happened to you 10 months ago all day. It was a good day. But then, you saw one word and it led to thinking about it. Your mind started to panic and your chest felt tight. If was like you couldn’t breathe or think straight. The only thing that went through your mind was getting a hold of Johnny, your boyfriend as of 5 months ago. You had told him what happened to you and he did everything he could to make sure that he never pushed anything with you. He never wanted to hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable. And you loved him for that.
So, you called him and within minuets he was at your front door. You let him into your apartment and both of you took a seat on the couch. He sat next to you and waited for you to tell him what to do.
“Do you wanna talk?” He asked after a few moments of silence. You looked over at him, away from your hands. He could see the panic in your eyes and it broke his heart.
“I don’t know,” you admitted, your voice at a whisper.
“Okay, what do you want me to do?” He whispered.
“Hold my hand?” You responded, unintentionally asking a question.
He nodded and held out his hand for you. You took his hand in yours and tried to focus on your breathing. He watched you intently, making sure that the panic attack didn’t get to the point where you needed prompt medical attention. But then you started to sway. He whispered you name and you put your head on his shoulder.
“It’s okay, I got you. He can’t hurt you ever again,” Johnny whispered, “I’m right here. You’ll never see him again. Ever. I promise.”
Then, tears fell from your eyes. Johnny was so sweet and it was like he knew what to say to calm you down. This was the first major panic attack that you had in front of him. You had minor ones around him but nothing that made you feel this bad. You could feel the muscles in your face tighten with the anxiety.
“But what if I do?” You asked, your voice sounding a little broken.
“I don’t think you will,” Johnny reassured you.
“I’m so scared and I feel like I fucked up,” you told him.
“You didn’t fuck up. What happened isn’t your fault.”
He then pulled you into a hug as you began to sob. Johnny continued to whisper words of affirmation to you and reminded you that you were still perfect. And that you would always be perfect in his eyes. Even as you cried your heart out, he still saw you as perfect.
After that day, he would always remind you how great you were. He always was there when another panic attack came, no matter how big or small it was. Johnny would literally fight demons for you, including your own. And you loved that about him.