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Satin reached out and brushed his fingertips down the curve of Jon’s spine. It was barely a touch, almost an intention really, but Jon’s muscles visibly tensed, momentarily freezing with his arms extended overhead in the process of removing his shirt.
He turned slowly and caught Satin as he lowered his gaze, his cheeks flushed, but the set of his chin defiant.
Two steps closed the distance between them and Jon waited patiently for Satin to lift his eyes again.
“My Lord?” Satin questioned with as much dignity as he could muster. “You require something?”
“Was there something that needed to be brushed from my back?” Jon asked.
“No, my Lord.”
“Then I do not understand….”
“Nor would I expect you to, my Lord.” Satin confessed, trying but unable to keep the misery from his voice. “I’ll return to my quarters if you no longer require me, my Lord.” He turned to leave, but Jon’s hand on his wrist gently stayed his flight.
“Satin,” Jon asked quietly, “Are you alright?”
“I suppose I’m just not myself tonight, my lord.” He smiled up at Jon weakly. Lowering his eyes, he shook his head slightly and sighed. “No. No that’s not true. Not really.”
“Then what is the truth?” Jon prodded carefully.
Sighing deeply he replied, “The truth is that was probably the most honest thing I’ve done in months.” Satin’s face flushed crimson but he forced himself to continue. “I see you every day - dressing, bathing, working, eating, sleeping… and I’ve wanted to touch you..... my gods, to slide my fingers into your hair, to kiss that beautiful mouth…
He turned away and stepped toward the door. “I’m sorry, my Lord. I should never have said…. I’ll go. I’ll… I’ll send Edd to take care of your things.”
“Satin, stop. Be still.” Jon ordered. Satin stood, his back to Jon, coiled as if expecting blow.
He felt Jon’s hands come to rest on his upper arms and all the breath left his lungs a rush. Jon's breath on the side of his neck made him feel weak.
“Just this once,” Jon whispered, “pretend I’m not Lord Commander. I’m just Jon.” He kissed the sensitive skin just below Satin’s ear, repeating, “I’m just Jon.”