Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I’ve been “friends” with Alex Kralie since he began to work on his student film, “Marble Hornets”. We met through our shared class in cinematography and when we bonded over our love for analog films, he asked me to be a co-director for his film. It came to me as a surprise, I myself being pretty… unusual, especially when writing. It’s what scored me a place in journalism, my absolute dream major. I don’t have enough time right now to present myself in detail, nor can I talk about my writing the whole time. But ever since Jay (and Tim) reached out to me again, it’s all I could think of.

“Alex is insane.” they said on the phone about two hours ago. “He’s after us and everybody who worked with him on Marble Hornets.” They were close enough to me, no farther than 30-40 minutes away and they’d help me at least get away from him somehow. Or keep him away.

I blurted out that I thought everything they said was bullshit and they were just trying to fuck with me. For some reason, I thought they knew about my constant coughing and panic attacks. I’ve written about it on here. Multiple times. I thought they’d read the blog, called me while drunk and tried to bring up some trauma I had hidden away for the past four years. I don’t know why. I’m just paranoid. I’ve been paranoid for a while. You all know that.

My gut says I should trust them, but my gut’s made such bad decisions before, I don’t know if trusting it might work out. This sounds like something way bigger than myself, way larger and more complicated than I can comprehend. I’m going to sit on that thought for a bit. I don’t know what to think. I’ll update as soon as I can.

I closed my laptop after posting that on my blog. Everything was silent around me, even the kids who were supposed to be out by now were inside since I couldn’t hear them screaming at each other to catch the ball they were playing with. It was just…Eery. It was turning later by the minute and I was just left staring at my phone on my bedside table. Perhaps they weren’t lying. Maybe Alex has been going insane. I haven’t talked to him ever since he kicked me off the production and called my blog “the stupidest shit he’s ever read”. I got mad at him and completely cut him off, quitting my optional cinematography course. I still remained friends with the others, Jay, Seth, Brian, Tim, Jessica, hell, even Amy. But I haven’t talked to them since forever.

a/n:: Now that I’m writing this update, I think I should call Jay back. I have a few tapes lying around. They’ve been nothing but nice to me so I’ll help them. If this makes me feel better, I’m doing it.

The phone sat in my hand as I waited patiently in bed. A cold breeze whistled around my blinds and my light seemed to flicker for a second. It was killing me. Having to wait. Jay wasn’t picking up. I dialed him again, hoping for an answer. It went straight to voicemail.

“Hey Jay, you called me about an hour ago in regards to Alex Kralie, since my blog could be something of use. I wanted to add that I have a few tapes lying around, actually. I can bring those to you. Call me back.”

I wonder how long Jay’ll take to ring me again as I put the phone down. More than an hour, I bet. My fate is sealed till tomorrow morning, probably, since the probability of him being awake at 1:48 AM is incredibly slim. A few seconds of nothing and everything running through my mind passed, before I grabbed it and quickly dialed something else. It rang. Again. And again. For what seemed like forever. Shit’s useless, I’d rather just wait–

“Hello? Ray?”

My speaker rang, a familiar voice on the receiving end.

“Oh, oh I thought you wouldn’t pick up.”

“I thought so too, but I found myself sifting through whatever these tapes are and lost track of time.”

“...Look, Tim, I thought about what you and Jay told me. About… Alex. I thought you were fucking with me. Something like you reading my blog for the past few days and calling to prank me.” I sighed.

“As much as we wished it were a joke, it isn’t. We called you to let you know Alex is out there. And maybe you should find another place to move to.”

My stomach dropped for a second and I glanced outside my window.

“What do you mean I should find another place to move to?” I asked, quietly. “I wasn’t planning on moving. I’m pretty happy in my apartment.”

Tim remained silent. I thought I could hear his thoughts, they felt loud.

“You won’t be. Or, at least, that’s what we suspect. Since.. He came after us too. With a thing following in his footsteps.”

My heart climbed to my teeth. I blinked for a few seconds, then shuffled toward my blinds, closing them as quickly as I could. I’ve had a growing suspicion, a paranoia, of sorts, that someone was after me. Now that my “sickness” has gotten worse, I feel it. Every single time my head pounds, I know I have to close my blinds or leave the house entirely. I’d sound crazy if I ever told anyone about it. It’d been driving me insane.

“Is that what this is?”

“...What?” Tim mumbled, slightly confused.

“I’ve been having constant migraines and for them to go away I either have to leave the house or close my blinds. I thought it was because of my lights or some radio post coming from across the street but now that you said it.” I breathed heavily. “I know what you’re talking about.”

The other line went quiet again as I slowly moved to rest my head on the side of my bed I shimmied next to.

“I have some tapes in my closet. And I can go through my blog again to the time when I was working with Alex. I don’t remember much.”

“Alright, thanks for sharing. I’ll check with Jay, since I might have an appointment at the doctor’s later this week. We’re going to meet up to investigate a place we found someone in,” he breathed. “An abandoned hospital. If you want my advice, I’ll tell you to bring some comfy shoes. And the tapes. We can look over your blog when we’re done.”

I placed my phone down to my left, gripping the carpet beneath me tightly. I thought about it. I thought about not going, even if I’d already told Tim I had the tapes. Hell, I called back in the first place, how could I get out of this now? It was way too late not to get involved, that’s what I’d gathered. It was inevitable. Of course it was.

Why did he pick up now.

“...Where will this be?”

“Rosswood Park. I’ll text you the address after we get off the call.”

Rosswood Park was something Tim had mentioned a few times before. Since he grew up in the area, he knew his way around. If I remember it correctly, he took us after filming so we could get some B-roll for Brian, apparently. Though I can’t recall it fully.

… I can’t recall it fully. I’ve been there, I know. But I just… Can’t remember anything. Anything . At all–

“Ray? Are you alright?” Tim's voice cracked through the room. “You’ve been breathing heavily for about a minute.”

“I–I think I have to… Uh, go to bed. It’s–It’s uhm… My head. It hurts.”

“Do you want to talk about anything? It’s clear something’s been on your mind the entire time we talked.”

I guess I parted my lips to speak but only a low gurgle came out, since Tim quickly called out my name. I started coughing.

“You’re not my therapist. I’m fine, I’ve just been spacing out a bit lately. It’s nothing, but I have to get some pills renewed.” I said, in between hacks.

Tim took a second to think. I thought he’d hung up, but… No.

“What kind of pills are you taking.”

“...What?”

“What kind of pills are you taking?”

He asked, firmly. I blinked and turned my head toward the phone. Why did he care about my pills? It’s not like he had the same prescription.

“Something for OCD, I think. My therapist handles the deliveries since I’ve gotten insurance and my head hurts too badly to have this conversation right now.”

He went silent again. God, by now I would’ve passed out. I felt as if my brain was pressing against the walls of my cranium, trying to get out. I shrieked, slightly.

“RAY, get OUT of that house.”

I didn’t even hesitate. I think I just picked up my phone and stumbled for the front door, my car keys still in my pocket from earlier and my apartment keys under the mat. Everything feels like static from here. I know for certain I drove off somewhere . Sporadically, I still recall talking to Tim while trying to get away from my block as soon as possible. My hands shaking as I took some pills, and then waking up to it being morning and.. Wait. Was it morning already?

My phone was almost dead and the only thing I could feel was my dry mouth and the sun shining crudely against my windshield, disturbing me from my sleep. I was unbelievably tired. Everything that happened last night was a blur and I couldn’t think. I started coughing. Again. It was getting worse by the minute, my throat feeling like it was getting scratched at, and my hurls getting violent. I frantically felt around in my pockets, until I grabbed a hold of my pill bottle, from which I poured out and swallowed about two pills. I had no water, but I don’t think it mattered as much as trying to stay alive.

I calmed down, thankfully, as I slammed my head against the steering wheel. God, if only I’d faint so I could get a good night’s rest again. As soon as I was getting lightheaded, I jolted awake, my eyes wide and locked on the view in front of me. A hotel. Well, a motel on the side of the road, classic and beige, beaten down by the sun. I turned to pick up my phone as it started buzzing.

“Hello?”

“We’re in room 241. Take whatever you have with you.”

“Tim, what—“

“Please, please just come up to our room. Take everything you have and meet us there.”

I was sleep-deprived and on the verge of insanity. I didn’t know what he was talking about. My memory had gone fully blank a few minutes ago. The only emotion I had was anger.

I stormed out of my car and slammed the door shut, before strutting to the front desk to ask for their room. After a few moments of struggling to move up the stairs and coughing, I banged on the door that read “241”.

To my slight surprise, Jay opened the door with his camera in hand. I don't know what it was that triggered his raised eyebrows, but he let me in without a word. My fists clenched at my side.

“TIM WHAT THE FUCK—“

“Calm DOWN.” He yelled back. 

I don’t know what has gotten over me. I was stressed. I was fully panicking at this point.

“WHERE AM I AND WHY AM I HERE?”

“Ray, sit down, please, breathe.”

I felt my eyes sting with tears. I complied and sat down, as Jay placed a hand on my shoulder.

“It’s the safest place we could manage. After that call with Tim, he figured we’d bring you out here. At least now you’re with us. And not alone.”

I threw my glasses on the bed and my head in my hands. I wanted to cry. The tears stopped in my throat as I coughed out what could only be a wince.

“Do you have anything else with you?”

Tim sat on the bed opposite to where Jay and I were sitting. I pulled out my pill bottle and phone, placing them against some towels. Tim grabbed the orange bottle and read the diagnostic.

“You told me these were for OCD, right?”

“…They’re— They’re used for anxiety disorders too.” I mumbled out, choking up a few coughs along the way.

“Do you have anything prescribed for schizophrenia?”

I paused. I don’t think I do. Or, at least, that’s what I remember.

“No, no I don’t.”

Jay nudged me for a second, asking me to unlock my phone for him, the camera he was holding now between the two of us. As I did, I noticed Tim grabbing a glass of water and handing it to me.

“What are you doing?”

“Drink it. Your lips are so chapped, it looks like you’re dead.”

“I don’t need your water.” I snapped, turning back toward Jay.

“You were on a call with Tim last night.”

“Yes, I was, and—“ I stopped. “My, uhh… My head started to hurt and then… And then I ran out of my house and—And got in my car and sped off. That’s all I remember.” My stuttering rang throughout the room.

“You said you had a few tapes at your place.”

“I do. I doubt there’s anything useful on them though.” 

The two went silent as Jay scrolled through my phone. I didn’t mind it. I was too tired to mind it.

“You have to move.”

“Again with this bullshit—“

“RAY.”

My voice died on the spot. Tim was staring me down as if I’d wronged him beyond forgiveness.

“You’re in danger. I can’t live without knowing we at least saved you from what could’ve been Alex’s next murder attempt.”

I shut my mouth entirely after that. We made a plan to drive along to my house, pick up the tapes, some clothes and my meds, then flee. I guess that was the best option we could come up with, as I handed Tim my keys and got into the seat next to him, falling asleep the second we hit the road.

Chapter Text

I’ve been reminded of his existence again. I don’t think I’m getting out of this anytime soon. The B-roll we watched had nothing on it. I didn’t expect it to. I’m sitting up in my bed writing this. I can’t sleep. I haven’t slept in a while. I’m sick and I’m crying. I’m trying to do so quietly, though, since I’ve noticed Tim has a hard time falling asleep as well. Hell, me typing this is probably keeping him awake.

I’m keeping this post short. I can’t stay up until forever or I’ll go insane, if I hadn’t already. Posts might come by a bit slower than usual because of this. I’m not going away any time soon, but if that will ever be the case, thank you all for reading my posts, for keeping up with my journey. I’m insanely grateful for everything you’ve all done for me.

I was shook awake by Tim as we pulled into the apartment’s driveway. I blinked away whatever drowsiness I had and got out of the car, taking out my keys and opening the front door, letting them in the block.

“My apartment’s on the second floor. I’ll lead the way.” I managed to gurgle out.

My head was pounding even worse now. The thought of going back to my apartment was torturing me already, but stepping inside it was… sickening, to say the least. I shuffled through the kitchen with Jay and Tim following close behind, the living room, then finally reached the bedroom.

“The tapes are in the closet.”

“We know. You told us that about ten times.” Tim huffed, opening the closet and taking out a small cardboard box, labeled “Marble Hornets B-roll”.

“I’m assuming this is it.”

I nodded, unknowing of what to say. Jay glanced across the room, then directed his attention toward the window.

“Why are your blinds closed? Do you have anything photosensitive in here?”

I must’ve frozen in place once I looked out the window, since someone placed their hands on my back and shook. I blinked, itching my eyes. I turned away.

“I’m going to pack some clothes. I want to leave.”

The two remained silent as I grabbed a backpack and stuffed some stuff inside, plus deodorant and a book I’ve been reading for a while but couldn’t focus on. Of course, I also grabbed my laptop and charger, shoving them inside as quickly as I could. Feeling around, I grabbed the inhaler I always kept with me. Good enough.

“I’ll buy another bottle of shampoo and toothpaste. Let’s go.”

Tim nodded and Jay raised his camera again. I didn’t ask. I just wanted to get out of there. Not long after leaving, we were already in our cars. Tim was driving me to the hotel since I was definitely not qualified to drive after having one of the worst panic attacks I’ve ever had. I didn’t mind it. We used to drive together to scenes, since I used to live near him. That was all before Alex went insane. That was before the friend group fell apart.

The first minutes of the ride were silent. I can’t remember what passed through my mind, but I sighed, heavily, then lowered the volume on the radio.

“Why is Jay carrying his camera around?”

I think I startled my driver as he furrowed his brow, before glancing at me.

“I would’ve explained it at the hotel, but… You know how Alex eventually shut down the project, right?”

I nodded. “Yeah, getting mad at everyone and saying that the conditions were ‘deplorable’, when in reality, he was an asshole to all of us.”

“Exactly. Well, Jay didn’t want his film to go to waste, so he begged Alex for the tapes. After looking through them, he saw someone , or something that seemed to be stalking him constantly and corrupting the film. After looking into it, Alex… started tracking us down. And now wants us dead. And you too, probably. I asked about your pills since we know that the thing that’s stalking Alex is making us sick.” he stopped for a second. “Like you. The coughing fits, the headaches, the panic attacks…”

Silence filled my car as I blinked.

“I still don’t know why Jay is filming everything though.”

“Because he started a channel, ‘Marble Hornets’, dedicated to solving whatever this is. He’s filming it for context or if he goes missing, gets killed, so on and so forth.”

So that’s why there was constantly a camera in my face. At least it wasn’t as bad as my migraines.

I went quiet again, my elbow rested against the car window as I laid my head against it. I didn’t have anything else to say. I don’t really have anything to help me get to a conclusion. I don’t think there is one.

“Hey, can I smoke in your car?” Tim asked.

“Only if you lend me a hit.”

He sighed, gravely, before lighting a cigarette and handing it over to me.

“We’re not underage. You can buy your own.”

“I like yours better.”

I took a long drag. I haven’t smoked in so long. I thought it would’ve been the leading cause of my headaches. Of course, now I know that it isn’t, but it’s still damaging. Maybe I should stop, at least before I get my coughing sorted out. Rolling down the window, I blew out the drag I was holding.

“You said you’d look over my blog. I haven’t read that section in a while, so anything written there is news to me.”

Tim didn’t answer, just took a left turn on some main road. I handed back his cigarette and watched him longer than I should’ve, probably. I haven’t seen him in… A while. His hair grew out and he looked a bit better than when we were in college, even if, I assume, he had trouble sleeping. Like me. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, which I found odd. Perhaps he got new contacts. Other than that, he was clean shaven, as always, still coughing in between words like he was on the brink of an asthma attack. I wonder what he’s been up to since college.

I frowned. I’d been staring at him for at least five minutes, trying to decipher my thoughts. I don’t think he noticed. I don’t think I wanted him to notice. Gritting my teeth, I turned away, back toward the window. He wasn’t going to talk to me anyways. He never did.

I turned up the radio and listened to whatever pop songs were being broadcast. I didn’t care much for conversation, usually. Not even now do I desire to talk to him. I had all the context I needed, I guess. Except for what the thing following us was, as confusing as it sounded. But I still turned to him every few minutes, naïve enough to think he’d at least say something to me.

“Do you need something?” His voice seemed to grab me and drag me out of my own mind. I stumbled for a second, making up an excuse on the spot for why I was acting like a creep.

“I’m uh… I’m hungry.”

“Oh. Should’ve said so before we got on the highway.”

I went back to my normal, pissed off face as I cleaned my glasses.

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t feeling too good.”

He shrugged, continuing to drive.

“I think I have some jerky and peanuts in my bag. I bought them so we could eat something if anything that put us in danger outside happened.”

I think I sighed loud enough to stir up a reaction from Tim, who glanced toward me, irritated.

“I’ll reach back and grab them.”

“Wait till we get to a stoplight.”

I bit my tongue back, looking at him again. The dirty glare I shot him was enough to make him huff.

“You can bitch all you want, I just don’t want you to crack your skull open if some asshole on the road decides to stop abruptly." he spit, taking a drag off his cigarette. “Besides, I don’t want to get pulled over.”

I remained quiet. I didn’t know if I could say anything else. I didn’t want to piss him off any more than I had. It meant nothing. That’s what I’m trying to convince myself, at least.

“…We’re going to that abandoned hospital Alex mentioned we shoot Brian’s scenes in.” he chimed. “It’ll be best if we take you.”

“Are you afraid I’ll go insane or something?”

“Kind of.”

“...Did you see anything there of interest?”

“Last time we went, there was a hooded person Jay ran after. Apparently, he’s been watching us for a while. We want to catch him as well, probably. Or, at least, find out who he is. Or what he is.”

“Sounds to me as if you’re going insane.” I snickered.

Tim puffed out some smoke again, his eyes stuck on the road. He didn’t even laugh. I frowned once again, jerking my head to the side. God, I hated this feeling. I hated the feeling of being mad at someone who I ached for. I paused. What the fuck did I just think of? I closed my eyes, trying not to pay much attention to the outside world. To be fair, my joke wasn’t all that funny. I wouldn’t blame him for not laughing.

I extended my hand toward him again. He placed his cigarette in between my index and middle fingers, and I took it to my mouth. I don’t think I spoke to him after that interaction.

We pulled into the hotel’s parking lot shortly after. It wasn’t all that big as I remembered it to be. It was probably me being sleep deprived, but I ignored it, like always, and grabbed the bag I packed, heading straight to Tim’s hotel room.

“We’ll probably need to book another hotel room for you. How much money do you have on you?”

The front door buzzed and opened, ushering Tim, Jay and I inside. I scrambled to find my wallet and looked inside.

“12$ in cash. I don’t think I have a lot left on my card, since I’ve just paid my taxes. Paycheck hasn’t come in.”

Jay looked to me, then toward Tim.

“The room isn’t less than 30 bucks.” he muttered.

“Hm.” Tim paced around the room. “Okay, Ray, just show us a few blog entries from 2009 to 2010, then we can talk about this. I’d much rather worry about the blog thing right now.”

I nodded, opening my laptop and blog, then scrolling upward (for a while) to check on my entries from 2009, when the casting and shooting for the movie first started.

“May… April… March… Here. This was the day I got asked if I wanted to help write the script for Marble Hornets.” I pointed to my laptop screen, where my blog read “March 5th, 2009.”

We read through the entire blog. There was… Nothing out of the ordinary. Absolutely nothing. The two beside me looked confused.

“How come it didn’t corrupt this post?”

“What do you mean?”

“It corrupted many of the tapes from that time. The tape that was labeled the same date and two others are completely unplayable. The rest, that don’t have any other writing on them, work.”

“...Let me check some later dates, maybe we’ll find something.”

I don't remember anything from back then. I only vaguely recall talking to Alex about the casting. The script was… erased out of my mind.

“March 27th, 2009… We finished the first draft. I’m happy to announce that yatta yatta yatta…” I read, hovering my pointer on the ‘Show More’ button, since it was too long to fit on the preview. When I clicked, though, my screen froze.

“...What?”

Everyone went silent as I vigorously refreshed the page. Why the hell wasn’t it working? The laptop was relatively new..

“Has it had any problems like this before?” Jay asked, quietly.

“No, actually.” My voice became irritated as I refreshed the page again. But this time, the screen went completely black. Before I could forcefully shut down my browser, white text flashed across the screen.

“To…theark? What the fuck is that?”

“ToTheArk. The channel. Tim, the channel, it’s tied to Ray’s blog!” he gesticulated, even with his camera. What the fuck was he talking about.

“Can someone explain what ‘totheark’ means?”

Tim pinched the bridge of his nose, watching my laptop shut down. “A channel has been posting weird shit along with ours. We don’t know who or what is operating it, but we know it knows we’re looking for it.” he sighed. “Also, it led Jay to an entry. In which… Alex murdered someone with a rock. A stranger, probably.”

I raised my eyebrows. “What does it want from me?”

Silence. When it hit me, I realised that was a dumb question. Of course it was something related to the thing .

“So, is it the.. guy… thing you were telling me about?”

“The Operator.” Jay muttered. “We… don’t know. Yet. We don't know who runs ‘totheark’ yet. Even if we’ve been helped by it a few times. Or we were screwed up.”

This was confusing. This was dreadful and I felt like whatever this was, it was going nowhere. I wanted to sleep. Again. I wanted to escape whatever this was. I just… wanted to leave.

“Alright. Okay. I’m going to take a breather. But… What's the hotel situation again?”

Tim glanced toward me, then looked down at his feet.

“I don’t think you have enough for a new room. We could split, but the bed is probably too small to be comfortable to you.” he hushed, then got up. “Let’s just see how much an upgrade to a double room should be.”

My heart sank. Shit. I’d be staying in the same room as Tim. Again. I shook my head, not caring about my headache and got up. Grow up. You’re both adults. Who. Fucking, Cares.

Following Tim downstairs to the reception, I took his hand for a brief second. Well, that happened because I didn’t want to lose him while I caught my breath. The stairs were a hell of their own. I caught the corner of his mouth rising. I caught his eyes on mine and I caught sight of his smile. I’m disgusted with myself for whatever this was.

“That’ll be about 9$.”

Tim nudged me. I blinked out of dissociation and handed the staff member a 10$ bill. We left shortly after with the key and unlocked the room which, luckily, was a floor lower than where Jay was staying. From here, I can’t recall much. I passed out on the bed next to the window, Tim told me. He got my stuff for me, which was nice enough of him to do. I guess I woke up at about 12 AM, because I found myself in front of my laptop, my eyes red and stinging, writing a blog post.

Thank you all for reading. Goodbye, for now.

Chapter Text

Hello everyone. I’m writing tonight from one of my friend’s houses, where I got taken after getting sick. I’m not feeling well. I haven’t been feeling well for a while, but I don’t want to think about it right now. I figured an update would be nice, since you guys deserve to know I’m not dead yet. I’m keeping this really short. I don’t want to talk about it. Thank you all for reading.

I almost fell asleep. I almost fell asleep when I heard Tim get up, open the balcony door and slam it behind him. God, he slammed it harder than I expected, I heard my brains rattling behind my eyes. I groaned. Loudly. Then after tossing and turning as if my life depended on it, I got up.

“Why’d you have to slam the door shut, asshole.” my voice startled him for a second, making him choke on the smoke of his cigarette.

“I didn’t mean to. Sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t fucking cut it. I’ve been trying to sleep for like three hours. I’m already on like two doses of melatonin.”

Tim didn’t answer as I glared at him in the moonlight. “I’ll try to keep it down next time. Go back to sleep, then. Won’t be closing that glass door any time soon.”

Generally, I don’t know why I was pissed. Why I was so irritated with him, but I was. I couldn’t blame it all on exhaustion, but right now, that’s all I can think about. Tim remained silent. He didn’t have anything to say. I wouldn’t have suspected otherwise. My eyes slowly move from him to the ground. I didn’t want to look at him for a bit and see his disappointed snarl staring back at me.

“What is this ‘Operator’ thing, though? Why is it driving us insane?”

“...We don’t even know. We’ve told you. It corrupts our cameras and makes us have seizures.”

I pressed my lips together now, at the mention of seizures. It was happening to everyone. Not only Tim, like before. I haven’t had a seizure before, thankfully, but the thought scared me to death.

“Can we do.. Anything to hurt it? Or deter it?”

“Nothing except taking our pills, I guess. We don’t think we can injure it. It doesn’t look like it's there physically .” he sighed, puffing out smoke. “We’ll see if anything happens at the hospital.” he muttered.

I blinked, but rubbed some hair out of my face. I wasn’t the best pick to take out in a manhunt. I couldn’t run all that much,  I have bad asthma and will start wheezing and coughing my lungs out if I run for more than 30 seconds. Ironically, as I smoke almost as frequently as I get stressed. I have bright, red hair that’s as tame as a bird’s nest, and will take way too long for me to detangle if it gets stuck anywhere. The only best bet is the fact that my closet is almost all comprised of black stuff. I’m not going to self-deprecate myself again, because I think I’ll faint from how tired I am right now.

“I’m going to sleep.” I mumbled, managing to drag myself back inside the hotel room.

The conversation was dry. It wasn’t this dry. Ever, I think. He wouldn’t have done that before. Who am I kidding, he wouldn’t have done anything he’s done right now before. I guess I’m too tired to think anymore.. And that’s apparent from the fact that I collapsed onto my bed and immediately fell asleep. My melatonin was one hell of a drug.

…

I was shaken awake by someone that sat next to me on the bed, their hands almost dislocating my shoulder. I shrieked, getting up almost instantly, which made me dizzy.

“Get up, we’re going to the hospital.”

For a brief moment, I thought something had happened. Again, I was awoken by Tim in a rush and now he was mentioning… a hospital?

“What–what hospital? Who’s hurt?” I mumbled out, putting my glasses on and fixing my eyes on whatever Tim was packing. He glanced back, his brow furrowed.

“Ray. The abandoned hospital. No one’s hurt, it’s fine.”

“...Shiiit.”

“Are you high?”

“Off… melatonin probably.” I slurred out, yawning. I was still in my pajamas, so, as quickly (and steadily) as I could, I grabbed whatever I had laying around and went to the bathroom to change.

Blood in the sink . As I entered, my thoughts were fixated on it. I stopped mid-step, staring at it. It didn't register as something I should be worried about. I’ve seen bloody bathrooms more times than I could count. The pills were also making me disassociate, so I decided to just get dressed and not mention anything regarding the sink.

Stepping out of the bathroom, I noticed Tim grabbing my bag and swinging it over his shoulder. I blinked, still quite high from the melatonin and stumbled out of the bathroom.

“Are you alright?” he asked as I sat on the bed, putting on my shoes. “You shouldn’t react like this to only two pills of melatonin.”

“Two?”

Tim remained quiet for a second. “Yes, two. You said that last night.”

“I said two? I took five.”

“...Yes, you did. When… Did you take five?”

“Before I fell asleep..?”

He sighed, turning back toward me and tying my laces. “It’s useless having this conversation. You’ll wake up on the way.”

I nodded, following him out the door. I couldn’t even thank him for tying my shoes. I mean, I was already tripping over my own feet in the hallway. I don’t know why I mentioned only taking two pills. I was pretty tired then, too. Perhaps that’s all that it was. The effect was wearing off anyways. I just hope it wouldn’t get in the way of whatever Tim and Jay were planning.

We reached the car and Tim stuffed his bag in the back seat. Before he could close the door, I tugged the hem of his shirt.

“Wait a sec. My inhaler is in the front pocket. Let me get it.”

“Make it quick. Jay will meet us there.” he mumbled. “You’re not taking your own car. You’re too drugged to walk.”

“Are we taking my car?”

Tim nodded, closing the door and getting in the driver’s side. I got into my own seat, my inhaler in my pocket and the orange pill bottle I also grabbed while I was there.

The drive there was uneventful. Neither of us talked. What was there to talk about anyways. The blood in the sink? He wouldn’t tell me. He wouldn’t have ever told me. The pills? The Operator? We’ve already gone through it. At this point, while driving, the only thing I could do was stare at him or the road. And both of those options made me sick to my stomach.

“We’re here.” he mumbled, taking out a cigarette and lighting it. I batted an eye across, but everything I saw was… a field. I almost muttered something out before being cut off. “Don’t look at me like that. We’ll walk from here. Unless you like having a gun pointed at your face.”

Tim strolled around for a bit, dialing Jay who, from what I’ve heard, was already there. I spotted his car next to the road where we entered, it wouldn’t take a genius to figure that out.

It also wouldn’t take a genius to figure out if he was dead or not.

What am I saying.

…I looked back at the car. No one was in the driver’s seat. He wasn’t picking up and Tim was getting increasingly frustrated. I bit my cheek and pressed my tongue against it, as always whenever I got nervous. I hoped my teeth wouldn’t gnaw at my nails again. I got them freshly painted the day before yesterday. …Was it?

“Jay! You picked up, finally.”

I perked up at the conversation behind me, rushing toward the phone to listen in.

“Are you already there? …Right. Well, we’ll be there in a bit.”

Silence followed. I stared at Tim for a second, expecting something from him, but he didn’t speak. I stumbled around, then started following him toward the hospital.

There wasn’t much around. I mean, grasslands, Rosswood, a train track (which was fun to climb on even if I was so sleepy I thought I’d fall flat on my face).. It wasn’t occupied. Or, at least, we hadn’t seen anyone following us.

Jay met us at the entrance of the first building. He was still holding his camera, as per usual and in my haze, I zoned out staring at it. The other two talked, but I couldn’t really hear anything they said. I jumped as Tim patted me on the shoulder.

“Fuck.. Sorry. I’m sorry, I forgot to say hello to you Jay. I’m very sleepy, I uh—“

“He took five melatonin pills. Apparently.”

“Yuppers.”

“Don’t say that.”

I nodded, adjusting my glasses and slapping myself, before entering the second building, a hospital wing, that looked like it had burnt down. It wasn’t much, but I could see how they’d used it for B-roll. It was warm, quiet… oddly unnerving, but that’s a given for abandoned places. 

Following along, Tim brought us into a smaller room, on the left side of the hallway. The wallpaper had been stripped off by the fire, as well as everything inside it engulfed into flames. I slapped myself again, trying to stay awake, but almost failing. 

“This is it.”

Tim’s voice shook me awake as I stood upright, wiping my eyes.

“This is… what, exactly?” Jay asked, softly.

“This was my room.”

We remained silent for a second. I blinked, still confused, but trying to piece together something he’d told Brian and I about his time here, at least.

“You… You used to be— uh… A patient here. Right?” I stammered, trying to focus as much as I could.

“Yeah, I guess. My second home. I guess you pieced together that much.”

“Well, the thought crossed my mind. I just never really knew why.” Jay chimed in. I nodded along. My melatonin felt like it was giving out, but my memory was hazy enough to keep me from remembering anything he’d told me about this.

“Obviously, you know I have some… issues. I’ve had them for a pretty long time. My entire life, from what I can recall.”

He paused.

“My mom brought me here when I was really young, but she never told me exactly why.”

“…Didn’t you ask her?” Jay mumbled.

“She was never really around to ask. The doctors would not tell me to my face either, but I’d always hear them say things like ‘violent episodes’ or ‘delusions, stuff that you just can’t tell to a little kid. They ran all kinds of tests, pinpointed about every disorder you could think of on me at some point or another. …They settled for schizophrenia, eventually. I don’t think they knew for sure, but my symptoms were closest to this rather than anything else. I was on a lot of medication most of my time here. I got used to it and it seemed to help… but not enough.”

I don’t think my breath caught up in my throat any other time like it did now. I didn't want to interrupt him. I didn’t want to send him spiralling and, from the looks of it, neither did Jay. But parting his lips to speak was his next move.

“What… What do you mean, ‘not enough’?”

“I had severe hallucinations. They got pretty bad most of the time. Part of me knew that they weren’t real, but it never made them go away.”

Tim whispered something. I was too distracted by my own thoughts to notice or listen to what he was mumbling about. I could see him raising his hand to his mouth, pressing his finger against his lips in between talking. He’d always done so. Ever since I met him. He told me this before. And yet, something about being here , being at the root, at the vessel of Tim’s traumas made me want to cry. I wasn't just tired at this point. Someone I loved was sharing something that could single-handedly send them into a deep spiral and I could do nothing about it. Not now, at least.

“They got so bad I kept escaping from my room. I’d usually hide in the maintenance tunnel or run off to Rosswood Park. When they’d find me, I’d tell them I was running from whatever it was that I was seeing. But they’d always bring me back, they’d lock me in here again and again. That’s when it was at its worst.”

He pressed his hand against the wallpaper for a second. I bit the inside of my cheek. I felt it bleeding. I didn’t mind it. I waited, though. I waited. I wanted him to finish. I wanted to listen to him.

“God, I’d claw at the walls and scream at all hours of the night. They’d up my dosage to the point where I was almost numb, just to calm me down.”

The three of us couldn’t say anything more. Jay was half-heartedly holding his camera now. My lip and cheek were bleeding. Tim’s eyes looked like glass and I just stared at him. I stared at him because I didn’t know what to do.

“Do you know what they looked like? Your hallucinations?” Jay eventually piped up.

I nudged his shoulder for a second, but turned away, examining the room like it came naturally to me to avoid talking to him. I could hear Tim getting slightly frustrated. His voice pitch was higher. His words pressed against my acne-scarred back.

“That’s… That’s the thing, I can’t remember any of them. Probably because of the medication. It didn’t cure me, exactly, but it leveled me enough that I was able to go to a normal school, transfer to another facility, and get into college… That’s when I met Brian. And Ray. The first actual, real friends I remember having.”

“That’s where we met Alex too.”

I almost whispered. Though I knew he heard it. He went passive for a second, before running a hand through his hair.

“Yeah.”

He stopped. We also stopped. Tim was pacing around, nervously, trying his best to calm himself down. I trailed him with my vision, trying to keep an eye on him if he’d start spiralling.

“When I saw that footage that you got from him, and that person in the background, or thing, or whatever it was, I couldn't help but think ‘what if that’s what I was seeing when I was here?’. Y’know? What if that wasn’t a hallucination at all?”

“Wait, what are you trying to say—“

“I’m saying that ‘what if THIS was all MY FAULT?’” he snapped. “Alex could be a normal person, you could be living a normal life, so could Jessica, so could everybody else if it wasn’t for ME. I have no way of knowing that for sure and that’s always going to be in the back of my mind. How was I supposed to handle that ?”

Jay and I remained speechless. Terrifyingly so. I was staring at Tim. He stared back. I could see tears rimming the roots of his lashes. I was frozen against my will. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t fucking move—

“I don’t think shifting the blame is really going to help anyone right now.”

I shot Jay the dirtiest look I’d given in ages. Quietly. But speaking volumes.

“I blamed everyone else except for me. And now I realise that this could’ve all been me . I could’ve started all of this !”

He stepped outside the room into the hallways, walking on broken glass and paper wallpaper. I finally got the strength to move my feet and hurried after him. I hoped he wouldn’t run off, but to my comfort, he remained pacing in the hallway.

“Tim, I think you need to relax, because this stress is making you really paranoid—“

“ BUT WHAT IF I’M RIGHT? What if what happened to me is happening to Alex right now ?”

Through gurgled words, I caught his shoulder as he rested against the wall, his head in his hands. I placed my arm there, crossing the back of his next to his opposite shoulder. I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say. I was never good with words anyway. I just.. held him, I guess. My feelings toward him at this point didn’t matter to me. All that I could think about was him having a manic episode again. Crying, screaming… A seizure.

He rested his head against me. That was it. That was my own breaking point. He leaned against me like he’d done in college. Like he’d done when we were young, when we were dumb, when we thought we had something and now all I could think about while watching him break down in front of me was this . How my feelings never changed, how I never got over anything in life and how much I hated every second of it. I hated seeing him in pain and I hated seeing myself next to him, almost shushing him as if he’d been in my care for as long as I can remember. I despised it. I loathed it, even. I gripped against his shirt. He gripped against his face. I didn’t speak, he didn’t stop. Jay was watching from afar, softly putting his camera away from us, at least trying to leave us alone. I couldn’t look at Tim right now. I settled on staring at the floor in front of me. What else could I have done?

“I.. I don’t know for sure.” Jay said. “I do know that you’re not like him.”

“He’s not running around in the woods with a mask on at night.” Tim almost laughed. I remained silent. 

“No, but you’re not pointing a gun at me right now either.”

At those words, I looked up at Jay. What?

“What?”

Tim got up, taking my hand off his shoulder, then walked up to Jay.

“That’s it, no more secrets.” he sighed.

“We should go.” Jay mumbled, looking back at me. “Unless there’s anything else to show us.”

Tim paused for a moment. Again. “Believe me, I really want to leave. But, I feel like there’s something else here that we’re missing. If there is, I don’t want to have to come back here again looking for it.”

“Like what?”

“Well, you found those papers of mine, what if there’s more somewhere? Some kind of filing cabinet, maybe?”

I think I zoned out for more than a few seconds. Taking everything in wasn’t as easy as I thought it’d be. I wasn’t prepared for a trauma dump, nor was I prepared for a mention of Alex pulling a gun on them, or something. They started heading away from where I was sitting, so I groaned lightly and rushed to accompany them.
“Wait, alright, filing cabinet, papers, whatever.. Alex pulled A GUN ON YOU?” I exclaimed, frantically trying to get an answer out of the both of them.

“It’s.. It’s a whole thing. Didn’t Tim explain it to you? You two did share a room.” Jay asked, moving his eyes from him to me.

“NO? No he didn’t?” I burst out, my brow furrowed. “Why the fuck didn’t you think I wouldn’t want to hear that?”

“It’s not that, I promise–”

“Then what was it?!”

“...I’ll explain later. Don’t worry about it.”

“WHAT?? THEN HOW DO YOU WANT ME TO–”

“Guys.”

Jay stopped us both and pointed at some carving in the wall.

“That’s the front desk.” Tim sighed. “There might be something here.”

The three of us shimmied behind it into some filing room that smelled like it had rotted away a few years ago. I held my breath as the other two guys I was with flashed some light on the shelves.

“And of course there’s nothing.”

“..Do you think there’s anything in this other room, back here?” Jay asked, following Tim close behind, his camera at eye level. They glanced over it.

I was starting to get sick. I didn’t appreciate the smell exactly, and my anxiety as well as the melatonin’s effect made it almost unbearable to be there.

“Can you look faster, or something, I’m starting to get nauseous.”

“Yeah, there’s–”

Footsteps. We all went quiet as we heard them. I held my hand over my mouth. I hoped I at least wouldn’t have to throw up until we got out of this place. It smelled horrid here either way. The two were whispering to each other at this point, then dragged me alongside them as they turned off their flashlight. Not long after we heard it, it passed by us. In a yellow hoodie, blue bootcut jeans and black fabric covering its face, it passed by us. I didn’t know if it knew that we were there. I haven’t seen it before. But from Jay and Tim’s expressions, they certainly have.

“We should stay back here.” Jay mumbled, taking Tim’s hand. But he wasn’t having any of it.

“Hiding isn’t going to get us anywhere.”

He started walking toward the desk, while Jay was calling out for him. I glanced up at him, then decided to do so as well. I didn’t know who this was. I didn’t know how many times they’d already seen him but if it got me out of this trainwreck, I’d find them. We all followed in his path, again, though this time trying our best to keep our own footsteps silent.

The figure looked familiar. To me, at least. I didn’t want to ask anyone anything, at least not now. Might’ve been because of his jeans, his figure… His hoodie. I’ve seen it before. That exact shade of mustard yellow, that exact hood, pockets, sleeves. I’ve seen it before. So many times.

We followed it for a while. I kept looking back at Jay and his camera, trying to see if we had any idea what Tim was going to do. Nothing. I was still nauseous. I was still breathing heavily and I was still panicking a bit. I had my inhaler in my pocket, but that didn’t make it better. Nothing made the feeling of dread, building up in my chest, go away. I watched as he picked up a wrench and my eyes widened.

“Tim, Tim why–”

“Shhh.”

Jay and I stopped for a moment, but continued pacing. We were going to attack him. I didn’t want to watch. My stomach wasn’t feeling well enough for me to do so.

“What’s it for?” Jay mumbled as we came near a corner.
“Just in case.” he whispered back.

We followed it to a room. It squatted in one of the corners as we decided to shift into the room opposite to the one they were in. I could get a closer look at them. Definitely human. Their movement was smooth and slow, not rigid or sporadic. I was relieved. I would’ve shouted out to them, but Tim placed a hand against my lips when I parted them. I shivered, taking it off and moving out of their view. We sat there for a few seconds, not more, before the hooded guy got up and walked out of the room. We pressed ourselves against the wall, hoping to not get spotted. At least they didn’t see us, I guess. My heart was pounding, I think I could hear it climbing up to my head. As they left, Tim ushered us out, telling us to see what they’d hidden in that corner. ..It had hidden something. We just didn't see it.

Jay shoved the camera in my hands and started digging through the rubble. I pointed it at him, my hands shaking from the adrenaline.

“..A tape.”

He took the camera back and filmed it for a second, before stuffing it in his pocket and going out to meet Tim. I did the same.

By the time we ran into the hallway, Tim started chasing them. Even though he didn’t know where it went and even though I couldn’t see anything, I started running as well, clutching my inhaler in my hand at this point to help with the asthma attack I was about to have. We ran after what Tim apparently saw, and we ran fast . By the time we got to a dead end, somewhere where we couldn’t even see him, my chest was caving in and I was coughing like crazy.

A field sat in front of us as I knelt, shaking my inhaler and gasping for air as I took about four puffs. I tried to calm down. At least, I was about to, when I felt myself collapse.

It wasn’t long until I woke up again. I sat in my car as Tim and Jay were talking outside. It was warm, very warm, and my head was about to explode. I had to get some fresh air.

Stumbling out of the car, I made it till I could rest my hand against Tim’s shoulder for support.

“Are you feeling alright, Ray?” Jay asked, lowering his camera. “You fainted. Tim had to carry you back to the car.”

“Yeah, I— I noticed. Did you—“ I gagged. “Did—“

Shiiit. I covered my mouth as I kept gagging, then stumbled, once again, toward the grass. I threw up. Which I haven’t done ever since I’d been to a house party where I got alcohol poisoning. It wasn’t pleasant. I hated it. Though what I wasn’t expecting was Tim to place a hand on my back, holding it there until I was finished.

“You have to get home. I think we all need some sleep or something.” he muttered as he handed me a tissue, then helped me get back into my car. “Don’t talk until we get to my house. We’re stopping at a gas station to get you some electrolytes, probably, and then you can go to bed.”

I agreed. I wasn’t feeling too well. Paired with the fact that I just had an asthma attack and threw up, I was hoping to get some sleep. So, I rested my head against the car seat’s headrest and dozed off for a while.