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Sae stirred awake as soon as Ryuusei got out of bed.
Ryuusei didn’t seem to notice him waking up, too focused on his phone ringing on the nightstand. He’d taken whatever call it was out of the room and onto the balcony, meaning that Sae couldn’t hear a thing. Without the body heat of his boyfriend, Sae was cold, but he tried to get back to sleep regardless, wrapping the blankets around him tighter and tighter.
Eventually, Ryuusei returned inside, sinking into the space next to Sae once more. He didn’t sprawl out like normal, though, instead compounding himself into a little ball. Sae furrowed his brow, rolling onto his side to examine Ryuusei. He never laid down in fetal position like that — if Sae didn’t know better, he’d think Ryuusei’s main goal when sleeping was to take up as much space as possible. What was more, it looked as though Ryuusei was shaking. His face was hidden in his knees, further veiled by his blond hair (currently loose from its usual hair gel prison).
He looked vulnerable in a way that loud, bold Shidou Ryuusei never did, even in front of Sae. Sae wasn’t sure how to handle that. He had never been the best shoulder to cry on.
Hesitantly, he put one of his hands on Ryuusei’s arm, knowing that the striker liked touch. His muscles were as tightly wound up as steel cables. “Ryuusei…?” he murmured quietly, none of the usual nicknames managing their way past his lips.
Ryuusei didn’t remove his face from its hiding spot against his knees, but the slight relaxation of his body implied that he acknowledged the touch.
“Ryuusei, are you…?” Are you okay? didn’t seem like the right thing to ask. The words felt too hollow, slipping against his tongue uncomfortably and threatening to make him choke. “What are you doing?”
Ryuusei lifted his head to provide a cheeky grin. “Could be you, lashes,” he replied in his usual confident tone. It was hard to see much of his face in the low light, but Sae could have sworn he saw the glimmer of something wet against Ryuusei’s cheek. He reached out to wipe it away, finding his thumb quickly soaked with tears.
“Who called you?” Sae asked.
Ryuusei glanced away.
“Who—” Sae began to repeat.
“My ma.”
Oh. Sae didn’t know much about the woman other than he resented how she treated Ryuusei. He didn’t talk about it much — the most that he let slide was the occasional joke that was just a bit too dark, a bit too truthful. And when he neared that truth, Sae often felt sick to his stomach.
Sae pulled Ryuusei into a hug, and Ryuusei was eager to accept it. He nuzzled his way into Sae’s chest, arms wrapping around his waist as he tangled their legs together. Ryuusei usually used his body to shelter Sae’s rather than the other way around (it was logical, considering their size difference) but Sae tried to accommodate Ryuusei’s larger body the best he could. He didn’t mention the occasional soft sounds of crying breaking past Ryuusei’s lips, figuring that Ryuusei would rather not speak on it.
Sae pressed a kiss to Ryuusei’s hair, their body temperatures seeming to even out to one consistent mass of heat and their heartbeats beginning to sync. “Do you want me to kill her?” Sae asked, dead serious. He would without question if asked.
Ryuusei blinked slowly as he moved his head to look up at Sae. His chin pressed into Sae’s collarbone in that position, slightly uncomfortable but not unbearable. After the initial shock, he began to laugh. It was a melodic sound, warm and not weighed down by the atmosphere in the room or the tears that he’d shed. “No, you fuckin’ maniac,” he said, though the threat seemed to have made him feel better. “‘M supposed to be the violent one between us, y’know.”
“You’re clearly not violent enough if you haven’t done anything to her,” Sae pointed out bluntly.
“She ain’t that bad,” Ryuusei argued.
Sae narrowed his eyes. “She made you cry.” That was enough for her to deserve an eternity rotting in Hell in Sae’s eyes.
Ryuusei’s skin seemed to grow a bit red, though it was hard to tell in the dark. He kissed Sae gently, squeezing his arms tightly around him. “Fuck, dunno what I did to deserve ya, lashes.”
Sae sighed, running his fingers against the line of Ryuusei’s spine. “Stop trying to flatter me.”
“I’m noooot. I just love ya, Sae-chan~!”
Sae sighed. Normally, he’d just shrug off the words, but he didn’t particularly feel like it when Ryuusei was half-broken in his arms like this. “I love you too, demon.”
Ryuusei froze at the words being echoed back. One could probably count on one hand how many times Sae had said them. Ryuusei’s mouth opened and shut a few times, trying to find a decent reply, but words failed him.
Sae leaned forward and kissed Ryuusei’s cheek, right where tears had stained it. He trailed up the salty path right to Ryuusei’s eye, kissing up his tears and then finally pressing one to his shut eye. He did the same to the other side, kissing his face clean of tears. They were salty and heavy on Sae’s tongue, sickening with the pain that they meant, but he swallowed them as though they were sweet nectar.
“You deserve better than what she does to you,” Sae murmured.
Ryuusei seemed inclined to argue, but decided against it for whatever reason. He kissed Sae a few times instead — chaste and soft, unlike a lot of the kisses they shared. Each movement of his lips was lazy and slow, soaking in the moment as though it would last forever.
“You the best, Sae-chan,” Ryuusei mumbled.
“Get some rest, demon,” Sae murmured in return. They could discuss this in the morning. For now, Ryuusei needed to recuperate from whatever his mother had said or done over the phone.
Ryuusei hesitated before nodding, nose brushing Sae’s cheek with each bob of his head. Sae could feel him slowly fall into sleep beside him, his sadness washed away with a sort of softness. Sae swallowed, his thumb brushing Ryuusei’s cheek…
He would burn the world down if it meant they never got wet with tears again, Sae decided in that moment. No price was too high.