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The first brother he met was not, contrary to popular belief, Fulgrim.
In fact, Fulgrim would not be found for a good few years, after he was found himself. It would have been silly, if in all that time, he had not meet Horus and Leman, his two older brothers. People simply liked to mention Fulgrim because their first meeting has been so… Magnetic.
But it wasn’t his first time meeting any brother.
That honor was reserved for the Lost.
Sometime, he wondered if their father had done… Something, to them all. Some kind of weird psyker thing, or a witch spell, Magnus style, to make it so hard to remember.
Primarch have perfect memories. It should have been then impossible for them to sometime say things like “19 sons” or “18 legions”. Even with how forbidden it was to speak of them, there should not be such a…. Void.
It felt like the memories of his first brother was slowly slipping away in his hands, like sand. Each grains a spark of life well lived, lost one after another, into the hourglass of time.
He was having a compliance with Roboute.
Truth be told… He often felt a bit bad around his brother. He could see that the blond man had a clear affection for him, was happy to be at his side, and yet Ferrus always felt so… awkward. Like he could never quite figure out how to talk to the man. It felt like there was this between Roboute and him.
It was just a simple compliance against xenos. Nothing very special to see around. He would probably put this planet out of his mind as soon as he walked away from here. Honnestly, it was the boredom of the compliance that had brought him out of his command post and walking at the edge of their join troop camp.
His grey eyes fell on one ultramarine amongst so many other, for no special reason, but for half an instant that was an eternity, he froze, at the view of .
The astarte was probably on the younger side, just a rank and file. As Ferrus starred at him from afar, a presence came behind him. Roboute. Both of them starred at the young man, who eventually put his helmet back on, hiding hair that echoed like a ghost.
“That’s one of my newer recruit, I think. Maybe from Calth.” Roboute said, his voice insistent. Ferrus turned, his grey eyes starring with disbelief into His brother’s blue ones.
“Your joking. You know that he must be-” started Ferrus, annoyance coloring his voice.
“He is one of my son.” Roboute insisted. His voice had an edge of warning, and yet, he let a hand rest against Ferrus forearm. “Let it go, brother.”
Ferrus gritted his teeth at such a loud knowing very well what the truth had to be. Something that he also wanted to say out loud.
There was something stopping him from saying the words. A mental .
So instead he starred at one the last remnant of a legion long gone, knowing that the man must have been just a teenager at the time, not even fully ascended, barely having his geneseed but one of the rare that had been off world. They had been absorbed .
It wasn’t the man's fault, really. He was just incredibly different from Ferrus, just had a completely different perspective on life in general. He was a too social, too bright,
Too annoying.
And he could understand that his reactions were hurting Leman. For all his faults, the blond was extremely family focused, and always wanted the best for them. He truly saw them all as brothers and truly cared about their family unit.
But he could not help but be annoyed by him. He was also one that just… Never mentioned it.
That was what he was ranting to Fulgrim, his head in his laps, as he tried to- to even begin to express .
“It’s just- it’s not fair! Why- why does he has to be- forgotten?!” He tried, the words struggling against his lips. Fulgrim held him tighter, his beautiful face pinched in concern.
“You know why.” It was a soft murmur. As if whatever block was cloaking them could be lifted by being quiet.
“ ” He cried out, the wound so raw in his voice.
Fulgrim hugged him tightly, at a loss for words. There was nothing to be said.
There was nothing that could be said.
He’s on Istvaan.
Fulgrim is in front of him, so… So wrong. For a second time, Ferrus get ready to watch a brother die.
He’s bleeding, from his head. He’s in so much pain, on his knees, and in front of him, Fulgrim is also on his knees, trembling in pain.
“You have long since lost the right to call me friend” he snarled. Then, in a pulse of PainRageGriefAnger, something else stumbled out of his mouth.
“D̸̡̨͖̤͕͖͕͍̯͇͖̻͔̣͇̅̋̍̍̆̋́̈́͋̌̚͝͝i̷̛̙̟̥̎̑͆̈́́̓̇̅̓͗̋͑͘͝s̷͚͎͉̙̩̯̘͈͔̐̓̌̔t̸͕̰̯̱͚͓͖̀̾͐̎̔̓̉̋̎̀̌̾͜ȯ̶̧͇͈̘̲̞͎̘͍͔̻̺̺̅̒̑̉̓̋͌͛̕r̸̜͉͗̿̏͐̋̓̽̈́͌́̕d̶̡̥̲̳̰̫̞̍͆͆̉̉̂͛̇̐͑͒͠e̶̡͍̣̱̍͊̂̈́͆̈͐͌͌̽̏͝͝d̶̡̝̖̳͓̔̉͐̋̆͐̾̀̀͌̎́ͅ would have been ashamed of you.”
The world stopped for a moment.
He had not attempted to say his name in…. so long. All the sound of it felt wrong. In front of him, for a moment, it felt like the fog lifted out of Fulgrim eyes, and pure distress appeared on his beautiful face.
“No…. This is not right.” He said, bright horror tinging his voice. “That’s not- his name. Why can’t we remember his name??”
Because he forced it out of our memories. Because he destroyed everything that he ever was. And he will do so with you, and every other traitor. I will lose you just like we lost him. One day, your name will also be erased and forgotten, and my memories will fade, and so will you.
I don’t want it.
Ferrus starred at Fulgrim. At the purple energy that was now flowing around him.
I don’t want to see another brother disappear.
The blade fell.
Ferrus Manus was on a spaceship for the first time, with his… apparent Father. In front of him, a gigantic doomed glass, showing the exterior, and all the stars of the galaxy.
It was hard to not the aw struck.
There was a chuckle behind him, and he whipped around, alarmed that someone had managed to sneak on him.
It was a man. Almost his size, but a bit shorter. He had skin pale and dusted by freckles, sparkling green eyes and a shocking, almost ridiculous looking mop of curly red hair.
“Amazing isn’t it? The stars? The first time Father took me aboard, a sat in front of that viewport for 36 hours, just watching them go by!” His voice was gravely and warm. All of his being actually felt like a campfire, a bright spot in the dark, that put you at ease. “I would say that you get used to it… But sometime, I still stare. Still cannot believe that we are lucky enough to sail through them.”
Ferrus starred at the stars again, at all the beauty of the sky, and even if he knew he had no artistic sensibility… He had to agree that there was something extraordinary, about the whole galaxy as an ocean for them to explore.
“It’s going to be interesting, visiting so many stars.” He said, voice more low than usual. “More than we all ever hope to see, even with our extended life.” And there was something almost frightening here. About knowing that you were virtually immortal, and yet, being faced with an immensity so infinite, even he could never hope to see but a fraction of it.
“But that’s why it’s so precious, that we get to see even just a bit.” Said the red head, voice softer now. “That’s the beauty of life, isn’t it? For every moment that we get to have, is exceptional. We are blessed with the most amazing of gifts, being primarch, and every second, until our very end, will have been worth it. We will have seen and feel and meet more than any other human ever has, and I cannot be more grateful.
The man, this other primarch, this brother, walked just to the side of Ferrus, and trusted his hand toward him. “Nice to meet you, Ferrus Manus. My name is—”