Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

        Jaal likes you.

        He really, really likes you. Like a lot. So much so that everyone else on board the Tempest has taken notice. It wasn't like the angara was exactly subtle with his emotions to begin with. 

        Everyone knows.

        Everyone, but you, it seems.

        At first, people just kinda wondered if you were playing hard to get, or stringing him along. That isn't fair to Jaal, who would be entirely unfamiliar with that kind of game. Then they start to realize you just. Genuinely aren't getting it. You just thought he was a really friendly guy.         

        “Were all the gifts not a big enough hint for you?” The Pathfinder eventually asks, after pulling you aside, looking entirely exasperated.

        ”Uhhhhhh-“ you start. "What's this about, again?"

        "Jaal." 

        Him? Gifts? A few start coming to mind...

        Poetry, random emails from “your friend Jaal”, little drawings of some of the native life forms on the planets he visited with Ryder, food he said Drack helped him make, chunks of pretty rocks (he checked with Suvi to make sure they were safe to give you, he promises), a bundle of flowers one time-

        Okay maybe more than a few.

        “I kinda thought he did that with everyone,” you offer Ryder, a bit sheepishly. “I mean, he’s a total sweetheart.”

        Once, when the Pathfinder had been out scouting a planet, leaving Jaal behind, at his request, he had called you up on your personal comm and requested you come to the tech lab he'd made his bed in. You'd obliged, not really having anything else to do, and thought nothing of it. He'd presented you with an angaran dagger of his own making. 

        "I want you to have it," he told you, folding your fingers closed around it. "I know you are left alone at times, unarmed, and I worry."

        "Aww, that's so sweet, Jaal, thank you!" 

        You think you're plenty safe on the ship, even unarmed. Especially when Jaal's around. But you're not gonna ruin the moment. That's rude.

        It was a pretty cool blade. There'd been some inscription in Selesh carved into it. You weren't exactly fluent and felt too awkward to ask what it meant, figuring you'd just email him about it later or something. You keep it in your nightstand drawer now. 

        ”I mean, when he first joined he was trying to give everyone something. Y'know, a gift to break the ice. But, yeah he doesn’t give everyone else all that stuff, (Y/N). It’s just you now.”

        ”Ohhhhh, okay,” you say, nodding thoughtfully. Then you look at the Pathfinder. “So what should I do?” 

        “(Y/N),” Ryder says, suddenly putting a firm hand on your shoulder. “He really likes you and he asks about you all the time when I bring him on the squad. Go talk to him.”

        ”Um…” you had no idea everyone was so in on this except you. “Uh yeah. Yeah, I’ll do that.” 

        Weren't angara supposed to be all open and stuff? Why wouldn't he just tell you? Then, you think about all the emails and gifts and conversations and how close he always was to you and you realize he actually had been doing all that. Really obviously, as a matter of fact. You're just extremely dense, apparently. It's not your fault--you'd just been under the impression he was really lovey dovey. 

        You didn't think someone like him would be so...interested in you. You're incredibly average in comparison to everyone else on this crack shot team. Even the ones who stayed on the ship with you were like...mega brain geniuses that you could never hope to compare to. 

        With a soft sigh, you come to a stop in front of the tech lab. You're kinda hoping he's in there, not interested in combing the rest of the ship for him. To be fair, if he's not in there, he's usually in the crew quarters with you, so nobody can blame you for checking the lab first. The doors open and you peek inside.

        His back is to you, and he turns when he hears the door open.        

        "Oh- (Y/N)-" he starts.

        "Hiii Jaal," you say, a little sing-songy to play off your nervousness. 

        He chuckles. He likes it when you greet him like that. "What brings you here?"

        "I was kinda hoping we could...talk?" you try. You're still not really sure what you're gonna do, much less say. You hadn't even really decided whether or not you wanted to be with him. 

        You've dated here and there before, but just never really found a match. Arriving in Andromeda, with all the stress of the outposts and the kett and whatnot, there's even less of a chance to throw your hat back in the ring. But here's this big, pretty, incredibly sweet on you alien who's been vying for your affections for...maybe a few months now?        

        The answer, logically, is obvious. It should be obvious emotionally too, but...oh, you just don't know.

        "I always have time for you," Jaal says with a nod. "I enjoy our chats."

        Let's see if you enjoy this one, you think to yourself.

        "Oh, um, that's great. Me too." You come to lean at the nearest table, with him across from you. Maybe it makes you feel more secure, having something physical between the two of you.

        You know he'd never do anything to hurt you, or force himself--he's one of the most down to earth, least brash guy you've met in your travels through the stars. Perhaps it just helps you feel like you're hiding then. You feel kind bad about that.

        He's just looking at you. Silently. The faintest hint of a smile on his face. Oh...that's what Ryder was talking about. You hadn't realized he doesn't really smile near anyone else. Angara kinda just always have this forlorn, mystical look on their faces. You don't think they realize they come across like that. What you don't know is that Jaal only does this because he'd asked Drack for advice (surely the oldest crew member would have the most experience with women). The old krogan had just barked a laugh and told him to "give 'em a smile and knock 'em dead, kid". He'd looked into it, and apparently smiling helped put humans at ease. It showed interest, it-

        "I heard that, um, thattt you like me?" you try.

        "I do," replies Jaal.

        Too general of a question. "Okay, um. How do I do this..."

        His brows raise a little. 

        "Ryder said that you liked me. A lot. Like, more than just a friend."

        "Correct." 

        You look taken aback. Which is strange, considering Jaal thought he had been very clear about his feelings towards you. You'd never really reciprocated intensely, but you'd never taken a step away from him, or turned down a gift...now it's his turn to be confused.

        He leans a little closer to you, hands coming to rest on the table. To be near yours.

        "I...did I not make it obvious? Perhaps I was not communicating it-" The angara's deep voice is quieter now. 

        "Oh my God, no, no you definitely did. I'm so sorry, Jaal," you find yourself apologizing. "I genuinely had no idea."

        He's quiet for a moment, eyes down at either of your hands. Then, slowly he moves his, to envelop the top of yours. You freeze up a little at his touch. Before, when he'd passed you by, a gentle hand on your hip, or waist, or shoulder--it felt like no big deal. Even a hug here and there, we he found out you were totally fine with it. But now, knowing what you do...it kinda flusters you.

        It doesn't count as leading him on if...if you liked him too, right? God, you feel so awful and stupid about all of this. Poor guy...

        He clears his throat, before glancing back up into your eyes. "So...where does that leave us?"

        "I mean...I don't see the harm in, um, trying it. I-In being with you, I mean. In a relationship. Obviously." His hand squeezes yours a little. "You're good to me and I like you. I think it could be nice. Uh, even if I've never dated an angara before."

        He chuckles. "First contact was not too long ago, and my people are still wary of yours. You may be the first of your kind to date an angara at all," he quips, looking very amused at the notion. 

        You give a bit of a laugh too. "Heh. Finally a pioneer at something I guess, right? Maybe they'll interview me about interspecies relationships and stuff on the Nexus. I can see the research papers now."

        He leans closer, bringing your folded hand to his lips. Briefly, he presses it there, before his eyes lock onto yours. "Oh, we would likely need to have intercourse first to qualify for any sort of study-"

        "Woah, little too soon for that, Jaal" you say, before stopping yourself. It's not that you're disgusted with the idea. You've just...always been kinda shyer when things got serious. You don't pull your hand out of his. "But, uh...I'm open to the idea. Let's just take it slow, alright, big guy?"

        "I have explained to you before," Jaal says, although he doesn't sound at all irritated, "It is not I that is big. It is you humans that are small."

        He's closer to you now. Even as your hand slips from his, he leans in. 

        "Right, you have," you say with an apologetic smile, before taking on a much more sober expression. "Um...I'm gonna go now, alright? We'll talk more later. Y'know. About all this."

        "May I kiss you before you go?" he requests, and you don't see how you could possibly turn him down. "And only if you are comfortable with it."

        You lean closer to him, across the table. Even on your tippy toes, you have a bit of difficulty fully reaching his lips. He bows his head, hunching his shoulders a little to lessen the height difference and make it easier. His smooth lips meet yours, and his eyes fall shut in bliss. You wonder how long he has fantasized about this. And how long had he waited for you to kiss him?

        His large hand holds at the side of your head, comfortingly, even when you break the kiss. It remains there momentarily, so he can brush his head against yours, affectionately. A bit reluctantly, he releases you, letting you go your own way. 

        It has been awhile since his heart has beat like this. 

        Over the next few weeks, it continues to beat in that way, even when the two of you have both grown equally comfortable in the relationship. For Jaal, it wasn't particularly difficult. He'd practically been dating you in his mind, one-sidedly the entire time during the miscommunication between the two of you. But he is careful and observant. Making sure you never looked too uncomfortable or skittish. Your composure changes a little in this new relationship. You seem to get flustered easier. You're a little jumpier.

        Tenser.

        Yes. That's what this feeling is. An impossibly thick tension, that will only continue to grow with time and touch.

        You can't ignore it for much longer. At the beginning of the relationship, you'd been fine with the touching. Fine with the way he'd always come to embrace you tight when he'd returned from a mission. You'd even begun to open your arms for him first, which made his heart soar. 

        But now it's like...you're taking steps backwards. Without him. 

        Jaal can't ignore that, for the sake of your comfort. It's just not in his nature. Angara are not confrontational, he thinks, they are simply open. So it is not a matter of confronting you, it is a matter of prying you open all over again. 

        He's your boyfriend and makes it no secret how hopelessly infatuated he is with you--you should be able to tell him what's wrong.

        He wonders if it has anything to do with his joke during your initial confession to him. Admittedly, he'd only been half joking then--you admitting that you liked him too had only stoked his desire higher. But he also understood all the taboos that came with sex in human culture. This is where the cultural differences frustrated him--he wishes everything could just be out in the open, easy to talk about, like it is with angara. When something is bothering you, he wants to know. Especially if he can do something to fix it. 

        He had been taking it slow with you. Painfully slow, his body often reminds him. The hugs and kisses are always enough for him, of course, he's always grateful for that. He lets you know it constantly. You even grow comfortable enough to lay down with him in the cramped crew quarter bed you call your own. Jaal had been surprised you were willing to do such a thing where the rest of the crew would be able to see it. And he was proud that you were beginning to overcome your shyness with him. 

        So, so proud of you. Oftentimes, you blush when he tells you that, when he gives you any praise at all. He finds it very cute. 

        So what had happened? Why do you almost flinch away from him now? Why do you seem hesitant when he draws near you to hug and kiss you, like he's done before? Why can he sense that you're holding back?

        His intuition has rarely failed him. 

        Jaal decides to bring it up to you the next time the two of you find time alone on the Tempest. Along with some candy he had been told was your favorite. He is relieved the crew is supportive of his efforts to court you. Angara don't really have the taste buds or genetics to properly sample candy or experience it, so he had no idea where to start when looking for that common human romance gift for you. 

        He's pretty sure he'd be doomed right now if it wasn't for the help of his friends. 

        At least Ryder was happy with it. Jaal was able to focus a little better on the missions on hand, now that he had secured you as his girlfriend. Gone is the constant questioning about what you do or don't like to the mild chagrin of his squadmates. Now he only cares about finishing the mission, and getting back to the Tempest as soon and efficiently as possible to spend his free time with you. 

        The doctor, T'Perro, pulled him to the side once and discreetly told him that if the two of you decided to get more intimate, he should be watchful of any possible allergic reactions that may come from the exchange of fluids. Apparently, humans don't mix well sexually with a decent amount of alien races, down to a chemical level. That doesn't scare Jaal off at all. If anything did happen to you, he'd make sure you were safe and taken care of. 

        Perhaps this is why you are reluctant to touch him now? Had Lexi had the same conversation with you?

        Another addition to his ever growing list of topics to cover with you. 

        You know something's up when he asks you to come meet him in the tech lab, where the two of you can have a bit more privacy than you would in the crew quarters. You'd agreed, figuring that your very open and communicative boyfriend had no doubt taken notice of the distance and tension between the two of you. An exasperated sigh left you, as you found yourself trudging to the lab. 

        It's not that...you don't like him. Or-or want him. Lord knows you do. You think of him often, even if you don't always tell him, like he seems to do with you. Sometimes at night, when your fingers wander a little lower, or in the showers where the stream of water drowns all noise out, you picture him. But the fantasies never translate to reality, no matter how badly you want them to. It's like...it's like you just lose your nerve. 

        It makes you wonder if you're a bad girlfriend sometimes. And that little negative thought ended up just snowballing into something far worse. A voice in your head that tells you someone else is better for Jaal, that he deserves better than you. That he needs someone who can fulfill him the way he wants you to. Without all the questioning and hesitation and...and fear.

        Why are you so afraid?

        Not of him. You could never, ever be afraid of Jaal. 

        Maybe...afraid of disappointing him. You're the first (and hopefully last) human he's ever been with. What if you just don't live up to what he wants from you? What if you're all wrong for each other and it turns into an awkward mess? What if he doesn't want to be with you anymore afterwards? What if-

        The tech door opens. You'd just been frozen in place in front of it, lost in your thoughts and doubts, gradually tearing up more and more. It's hard to swallow. You know he's standing right there in front of you, but you can't bring yourself to look up at him. Instead, you just stare down at your feet. Jaal reaches out for you, his open hand entering your line of sight. He gestures a little, encouraging you to put your hand in his. You do. 

        Gently, he pulls you into the tech lab, making sure the door closes behind you. 

        "(Y/N)?" he asks, voice soft. "Are you alright?"

        Of all the things to ask...        

        The tears burn hotter, threatening to spill. He wishes they would already. Why hold them back? It's completely senseless. He knows you can't help it. A few weeks of a relationship does little in lieu of years of cultural conditioning and human socializing. But he wants only for you to be able to be entirely vulnerable with him. To bare him your heart, like he bares his to you. 

        "I am going to hold you close," Jaal says, suddenly, his arms moving to envelop you. "And you are going to cry, my beloved. As much as you'd like. For as long as you need to. And I will only love you more." 

        So, as he pulls you into a tight, warm embrace, you do. You weep, hard, into his chest. Just the sound makes him want to cry as well. It tears right through him. A few minutes pass, and eventually, your tears begin to dry, and you're reduced to small quakes in his thick arms. A soft sob or hiccup escapes you now and then. 

        "Jaal," you finally say, and his chin stays resting on top of your head. He hums in acknowledgement, the vibration echoing through your own body and ears. "...Thank you." 

        He shifts position slightly, only so he can kiss the top of your head. "Now we are going to talk." 

        A soft, slightly defeated sigh leaves you, but he feels you nod a little. Finally, Jaal releases you from his hug. You don't step away, or try to put distance between himself and you. Instead, you just stand there, a hand absentmindedly drifting up to hold at your arm. 

        "But first..." he turns away, only to retrieve something stashed near the back of one of the many tables in the lab. He presents it to you earnestly.

        ...Your favorite candy. 

        It takes everything not to burst into tears again. Instead, you just offer him a very shaky smile and take the box from his hand. You wonder how he even found it--it's not sold on the Nexus. You didn't even think it was approved for transport out of the Milky Way. Probably through Vetra then. Ugh...he goes through all this effort for you and you can't even...

        There you go again...

        You start opening the box, more to keep your hands busy as Jaal begins to speak.

        "You have become...withdrawn as of late," he observes. "And nervous. It makes me worry for you. Has something happened that I do not know about?"

        You shake your head quickly. "No...no. Nothing happened. Um. Nobody did anything to me, i-if that's what you're asking."

        He gives a slight nod. He'd been worried that perhaps a human (or even angara) had shared disapproval of the relationship between you and him. What the two of you have isn't really a secret. You often accompany him on the Nexus during shore leave. You'll hold his hand, lean into his shoulder, have eyes only for him...or that's how it once went. But the change was not only in front of public view, it persisted in privacy as well. Even when you were alone with him, it seemed like something was bothering you...

        "Then, will you be open with me?" Jaal asks, blue eyes trained on you. "Will you tell me what is bothering you?"

        "N-Nothing-" you start, before realizing you're about to fully lie to this beautiful, honest, sweet man. Who has literally been nothing but gentle and patient to you. 

        He doesn't deserve that. So you stop yourself. You take your focus off the box of candy. The sugar had been helping your hand and body steady a little. And it evened out the headache from crying. Perhaps it had been a calculated gift.

        "It's...it's hard to explain," you say instead, shifting your weight to the other foot.

        Jaal's gaze does not falter. "Please try. I am listening." He suddenly starts to settle down on the floor, right in front of his mattress. "Come sit."

        He probably thought you were tired of standing, just from watching you awkwardly shift your weight. He's...really observant. Meaning he's probably been fully aware of how weird you were acting, possibly since it started. You guess you hadn't really been subtle about it.

        You heave a sigh and settle down in front of him, the candy still in your hand. "I love you. I love this." You airily gesture to him and yourself. "And I'm...I'm really into you. When you're not with me, I think about you. I miss you. I...I want you."

        He does not interrupt to reply, as badly as he might want to. Just to let you know the feeling is entirely reciprocated. That his heart beats for you all the same. But, he's a man of his word. So, instead, he continues to listen, eyes trained on you. When there is only silence to greet you, you'd thought it was a queue to shut up. But instead, you only feel the need to keep going. To allow your feelings to continue tumbling out. 

        "And then I see you in person and I just get...scared. I want to touch you. And-and be with you so badly. I love when you hold me. And kiss me. And talk to me for hours. When you're not here I just sit at look at all the gifts you've given me. I reread the poetry you wrote me before, and the emails you send me. And I think about how I'm the luckiest, most undeserving person in all of Andromeda."

        Your lip quivers again, but you take a breath to steady yourself.

        "I think about how if I was any good at all I could give you something in return. M-Maybe reward you, and...and put out for you and all that. I think about how I should give you myself, like you want. Um, like you deserve. But I don't--I just...just freeze up instead. 'Cuz I'm scared. And then I just get all in my head and it just...it just doesn't stop, Jaal." 

        He must speak. Although he is happy that you're sharing your unfiltered thoughts, what's been plaguing your mind the past few days, he can't let you go on talking like that about yourself anymore. Undeserving? How could you ever think that of yourself?

        Jaal leans towards you, he just can't help wanting to be near you. 

        "First of all, you have already given yourself to me. And I, you. I could not ask anything more. And I am more grateful than you could ever imagine," he begins. "But I must ask...what is it that you are afraid of? Sexual intimacy?" 

        So straight to the point. It's...helpful, at least. It forces you to keep going.

        "I...I think so. But it doesn't make any sense. I do want you. But I don't know...I don't know if you'll still want me when it's over. I don't know how to get there with you, and it scares me. And I don't want to lose you...I...I'm sorry for being so distant, Jaal."

        You let out a frustrated noise.

         "Actual feelings get so complicated so fast for me. Half the time, I don't even know what to think. O-Or what to do. Or what to say. One night stands n' stuff worked well for me because of that. But now I'm with someone I really, really like and I don't want to fuck it up."

        It's already like some of that person he fell so in love with is coming back to him. Like the wall you'd tried to put up is suddenly falling bit by bit. Jaal hopes you never feel the need to build it again. 

        "Nothing you do could drive me away from you," he replies, then gives a chuckle. "Try as you might. I am one annoyingly persistent man."

        "That you are," you can't help but reply with a smile, thinking of his nonstop courting efforts the months before. "Lord knows why you bother to put up with me."

        "Enough of this self deprecation," Jaal says, tone much more serious. "I do not 'put up' with you. I love to be with you. When you have problems like this, I want to solve them with you. I want to make you feel as you should. To guide you in the right direction."

        "And that right direction is, of course, to you." You cock your head to the side a little, with the faintest of smirks and Jaal's heart beats a little faster. 

        Yes. Come back to him...please come back to him.

        He smiles, chest puffing a little bit. "Naturally. I like to think I am good for you, if you do not mind me saying." 

        Jaal's not entirely wrong. Miniature meltdown and attempted self demolition aside, you were happier in a relationship with him. He has this way of making you feel like the most beautiful, amazing, funny person in the entire universe. More so than any human man you've messed around with before. And it's not just a brief, wild fling. 

        He truly desires you. All of you, for as long as possible, forever if he could. 

        "And with you, it is more than just physical attraction that draws me," Jaal admits, eyes flickering over your form.

        "Oh yeah?"

        “I am also…curious,” he continues. 

        ”’Bout what?” you ask, popping another piece of candy in your mouth, once again searching for something to do with your anxious hands. 

        He gestures to you, more to your form than anything else. “Your body, your anatomy, so to speak. I have researched but I know you are each unique.”

        ”Uhh, yeah-“ you start, sitting up a little straighter. Here you go again...feeling like you should run away. 

        But you don't. 

        You won't. Not this time. 

        He comes closer to you. So close his clothed chest and knees touched your own. You know the two of you have cultural differences, an understanding deepened by this relationship, but…wow. Zero concept of personal space. Or…or maybe he’s actually coming onto you right now. You don’t think he’s lying about his genuine curiosity, it's not some cheap line he's throwing your way, but you feel the crackle of electricity between the two of you. Like. Literally. Coming off his body, he almost feels…staticky. Similar to the strange caress before the little electric zap hits. You feel breathless waiting for that snap to hit you. The type of stuff that makes the hair on your arm and the back of your neck stand on end.

        You hadn't ever felt that cuddling with him before. 

        “You must be curious as well,” he says, softly, looking down at you. "Perhaps it is only curiosity that burns you, and you mistake it for fear."

        You give a faint nod. “I-I suppose…” 

        It's a...interesting way of trying to look at it. But in reality, who wouldn’t be curious? He’s an alien— er, more so than the turians and the salarians, asari, drell, krogan, hanar—more that you and the rest of humanity had lived alongside for awhile now. So maybe it’s not that he’s alien, but it’s that he’s new. 

        And humans always think new, unknown things are scary, right?

        As he leans more into you, starting to overpower you, you’re kinda getting the impression he’s done way more research than you have though. It’s not like you were super into looking at naked diagrams of other races— you’re not really the scientist type. So when it comes to Jaal, you have zero idea what to expect underneath that blue cloak and the skin tight suit. Other than the muscles of course. No amount of cuddling or close contact over these last few weeks really changes that. 

        Your face feels a little warmer as he purposefully moves to climb on top of you, and lay you back on his bed.

        ”I adore that about you,” Jaal observed, bringing a hand to the back of your head, to dip it closer to his, practically touching his brow. “You change color when you blush. Perhaps it is your easier way of being open about your emotions. Like we angara.” 

        “Blushing can mean a lot of things,” you say, a bit shyly, as his other hand comes to rest at your back.

        He puts his weight on you, making you buckle beneath him, down, gently onto the bed. He won’t let you fall. But sometimes you forget how much heavier he is than you. He even feels denser. 

        ”Mm, yes. Anger. Embarrassment. Excitement. Arousal. All very strong emotions.” Guess he really had done his research. 

        It’s…kinda cute that he’s looked into it so much. A lot of other races don’t really care for the details. You doubt a lot of angara really care either. They're too interested in saving their entire race from the kett and being overly suspicious of new alien races and whatnot.

        This seems to just be a…a Jaal thing. 

        Jaal’s glove moves towards the hem of your shirt. 

        You put a hand up to his chest suddenly, and he glances back up at you, eyes searching your face. You feel kinda breathless.

        ”I-If I show you, you have to show me,” you said, a bit shortly. Mainly because you’re having trouble even getting words out right now you’re so nervous. 

        He nods. “Would it relax you if I took off my clothes first?” He asks.

        You nod. Maybe just to prolong him stripping you. You don’t mean to be a tease or anything but you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t just a little self conscious. Okay, maybe a lot. And as kind as he is, his naked body would still be new to you. 

        Jaal sits up a little straighter, and starts with his gloves. 

        He always had his gloves on, so maybe you just hadn’t realized how different his hands were from yours. They held you all the same, so it hadn't really mattered to you. Minus his pointer finger and thumb, his other fingers are fused together. Like a drell, sorta, you think. So even in the new, you can find something familiar. It’s like he had built in mittens. 

        A bit of a smile turns the corner of your lips up at the thought.

        Big ol' mittens. 

        You're tempted to take them in your hands for a closer look, but finish letting him shed his cloak and the rest of his clothes.

        "What's that called again?" you ask, voice a little tight. Anything to break up the crushing silence. You gesture at the patterned, silky blue fabric starting to slide and pool from his shoulders. 

        "Rofjinn," he replies, glancing up at you.

        "Rofjinn," you repeat, looking a little more flustered under his gaze.

        He'd tell you more about how it turned him on when you tried to speak his native tongue, when he wasn't too worried about coming on so hard. 

        His utility belt slides to the ground, along with his pants and top once buckles and straps have been unsecured. You’re surprised he’s able to navigate what appears to be such a complex outfit so fast. You suppose it might be second nature for Jaal, considering you’ve never seen him out of this uniform. Then again, you don't have much of a military background, so maybe it's just a lot simpler than you realize. 

        He shifts his legs out of his pants, now fully naked. You sit up a little on the mattress, weight on your elbows to look over his body. He lets you observe, watching your eyes roam over him. 

        You hadn't realized that the thick tissue of his neck fed into his chest the way it did. It was certainly something you couldn't have imagined on your own. 

        He’s…well built. Like insanely well built. Thick arms and thighs— there was definitely no padding in the armor, which Peebee had once theorized. It’s all Jaal. Which makes you feel even warmer. 

        Score.

        You feel instantly like a pervert for immediately taking note that he appears to have no external genitalia. That helps you breathe a little easier, initially, like it takes some of the tension away. There’s a fine line between his legs, like a seam, similar to the texture of the line on his chin. Maybe it…?

        ”You want to see it?” He asks, observant enough to notice when your eyes trained on one part of his body. Maybe you were just seeing things but you felt like there was definitely a mischievous smirk on his face.

        ”Uh… eventually yes-“ you start to admit, a hand lifting to touch his stomach. No navel. Huh.

        His hand wraps around your wrist, keeping you from touching him any further. “Then you must hold up your end.”

        Oh. Right. 

        A shaky exhale leaves you and you nod. You’d feel like a total piece of shit if your nervousness made you back out now, while he’s standing naked in front of you. And…he’s patient. Like, ridiculously so. It makes you feel a little safer, knowing he won’t rush you like a brash, human man would.

        You lift your shirt over your head, revealing your bra. Your pants are the next thing to go, which you slide down and off your legs. You weren’t really in a matching lingerie set or anything like that (although now you feel tempted to show him that one day and see if he liked it). You hadn’t been expecting this, today, after all. You wonder if this is unplanned for Jaal as well or if he had been trying to coordinate this for awhile. You are still pretty oblivious to most of his courting, apparently.

        Every time you'd been alone with him came to mind. But you'd never sensed any sort of further intention. He'd always been open to something more, but just as you'd asked him, he'd never pushed for it. He'd respected your wishes to "take things slow", as you'd put it. 

        It seemed like whenever he was snuggling with you, or simply spending time with you, he was just happy to be there.

        “A second set of clothes?” Jaal asks.

        You suppose just looking at scientific diagrams and learning basic biological functions wouldn’t really explain underwear.

        ”Uhm… well this can be for support.” You move your hands up to touch over the cups of your bra. “Or for shape. We can be really…” 

        Shallow doesn’t feel like a nice word to use. Plus you wouldn’t want him to go around thinking all humans are shallow or self absorbed.

        ”Um, really into trying to look a certain way.”

        ”Even if your body does not naturally look that way?” 

        It’s his turn to touch. His palm envelops one of the cups of your bra. He squeezes a little, which only makes your face a little redder.

        “I-It also helps with chafing. Or, um, just hiding nipples, I guess. Not everyone wants them visible. Some of us do maybe. I dunno.” You just feel like you’re babbling now.

        Jaal’s hand shifts up to pull your bra strap down. Then the other. 

        “I can just… take it off?” You offer, and he pauses before nodding.

        ”Yes, this would seem easier.” 

        So you do so, reaching back to unhook it. You start to pull your arms out from under the straps, before letting it rest on your chest, just for the coverage. He reaches, probably thinking he’s helping.

        ”Jaal,” you say, voice suddenly a little firmer.

        “Yes, love?”

        His names for you always send a happy little shiver through your body. But you refocus, regardless.

        ”This is like. A private thing, okay? Just for you and me. So if Peebee or someone asks, like, what my tits look like or something-“

        Jaal nods. “Of course. My people are open, but there are things reserved, just for one’s eyes alone. No others.” His hand rests on your chest, blue eyes meeting yours. “It is meaningful that you wish to do this with me. I appreciate it.” 

        You don’t really know what to even say. He’s just so… communicative. Even during something like this. You're kinda used to all action, feverish grasping and drunk fumbling in a dark room. Here, you can see him well. And he sees you too. And...you're alright with that. 

         Maybe humans really could take notes from the angara. 

        “I…thank you, Jaal,” you say, a bit shyly, feeling embarrassed for even implying he'd be the type to kiss and tell.

        But...in your defense he was very much loud and proud of dating you, and being with you, and thinks you're the most wonderful person in Andromeda and he's so lucky to have you and-

        He lifts your bra off your chest, moving it to the side of the bed. Near his gloves and the rest of his clothes. His eyes are on you. Warm as ever. ”You are very welcome.” 

        He feels over your breasts, with each of his hands, before looking down. Then he holds them, carefully, in his large palms.

        “You are soft,” Jaal observes, quietly, his deep voice thrumming in your ears.

        You feel either of his thumbs graze over your nipples and suck in a sharp breath as they start to grow harder under his touch.

        ”O-Oh-“ you start.

        ”You also can derive pleasure from this?” he asks, glancing up at you, continuing the slow strokes of his thumb. 

        “Yeah,” you reply, a little frazzled. “It…it starts to hurt though, after awhile. Sensitive.”

        ”Many parts of you are.” One of his hands leaves your breast to wander lower, down your body.

        He traces down your abdomen, thumb caressing briefly over your navel. He pauses for a moment, like he’s verifying it in his brain. You’re probably lucky he doesn’t start asking about umbilical cords. Maybe you’d explain innies and outies to him when you don’t feel like your head’s about to explode and you’re not clenching your thighs together so tightly.

        Jaal is…taken aback by your body. He knows humans each have unique anatomy— even more so with the sexual dimorphism. But it’s just…kind of insane to him that such a soft, fleshy, non-armored body can do what it does. Human soldiers are certainly nothing to laugh at. It makes your race’s capabilities all the more impressive to him. 

        The krogan have armor, at least. The turians, too, with their carapaces and crests. Other races seem so impossibly advanced. And there were humans just keeping right up with it all.

        Absolutely fascinating.

        And, outside of this observation, there was the plain fact that he finds you absolutely beautiful. Exotic and new and...something better than any chart or diagram. More akin to the historical human art he'd once glimpsed in the Nexus cultural center. But he thinks even those pieces pale in comparison.

        One hand stays at your chest, although he's careful to hold it still. His other finger pulls at your underwear, starting to move it down your legs. Then his free palm strokes over you. With your legs so tight together he can’t really get to anything, but your arousal still pools, and your force back a noise. How is he so calm right now?

        ”Hair here too?” he asks, stroking over you, almost petting it.

        ”I mean…naturally yeah. Some of us shave it all off.” 

        “But not you?”

        You start to feel kinda embarrassed although you know there’s absolutely zero judgement or ill will to his questioning. After all, the angara, and pretty much all other alien races are virtually hairless. After reminding yourself that it’s just curiosity, you reply.

        ”I mean, it’s kinda hard to care about that with the kett running around. Maybe I once did.” 

        “When they are defeated will you, ah, ‘shave’, once more?” He asks, definitely just wanting to try out the new word on his tongue.

        ”Uhm…do you like it now?” 

        “You would let me decide?”

        You start to loosen up again with the conversation. “I mean…I don’t really care either way but…I figured you wanted to keep seeing me after this. A-And if you had a preference, I’d probably try to respect it and all that.” 

        Jaal’s flattered. You’re already thinking of your future with him in it? Although humans hide their passions, they give it away in such small ways. Small enough to miss if you weren’t paying attention. Lucky for you, he is as observant as he is annoyingly persistent. A slight chuckles escapes him.

        ”I like you how you are. Whatever you choose, I will adore you regardless.” 

        Adore. Such a strong word. But it must be the truth if it’s the word he’s chosen to use for you so many times now. 

        "Let me show you."

        Jaal leans in closer to you. Gently, you tilt your chin up, so he can meet your lips. A soft exhale escapes his nostrils, heating your face. Though he chooses not to tell you, he can still taste the slight spice of candy in your mouth. It'd been sweet for you, of course--it's a matter of species difference. The taste only seems to thrill him, however. It's a pleasant burn on his tongue, as he moves it past your teeth. You moan out against his lips, brows drawn together, not expecting him to be so passionate.

        When he'd kissed you before, it had been light pecks. Innocent, even. This is something entirely different. 

        Your legs part a little, and you feel his pointer finger start to slide between your folds, feeling how aroused you were. Beneath him, you shiver a little. He's looking for something...you have an idea as to what. You reach for his wrist, your own arm pinned to your body by his larger, heavier one. He pauses when he feels your fingers wrap around it, only to find you guiding his hand to your clit.

        Jaal's thick finger brushes over it and pleasure ebbs through your body. Your hips roll into his touch, needily. Then, Jaal breaks the kiss, leaving gasping. More from pleasure, than lack of air. 

        "You said you wanted to see mine?" he breathes out.

        You nod, feverishly. With much more desire than the first time he had offered. Jaal smiles, then straightens up a little on top of you, for the sake of giving you enough room to look. His hand pulls away from your pussy to rest where his hip met his abdomen, which kinda makes you regret agreeing to being sidetracked.

        Slowly, his cock starts to peek out. You watch it shift from between the seam of his legs entirely. Already erect. 

        Never mind. Not a single ounce of regret. Cool as fuck. You look totally awestruck. 

        “You can just…do that? Like that was all you?” You sputter, eyes huge as you glance from his member to his face.

        It’s basically the same color as the rest of him, minus the tip which takes on the paler color of his lips. It even has some of his forehead markings along the shaft. Along its sides is a ribbed texture, in a shade of blue similar to the sensitive, thinner parts of the back of his head and neck cartilage. Definitely not…overly human, it’s missing some of the anatomy. It's smoother than a human's would be. More graceful. In a weird kind of way. But it’s similar enough for you to recognize. 

        Jaal nods. “Yes. I suppose we have a little more control over our bodies than humans.” 

        “I mean…everything’s kinda external with us. Or, uh, most of it. And- uh, it isn’t just instantly like- um-“ you gesture at his dick. “Uh, like hard already. I guess.”

        ”Oh?” he asks, tilting his head to the side. “That seems…a little inconvenient. I imagine reproducing could be a nightmare, at times.” 

        “I mean, a lot of guys don’t seem to have a problem getting to…to that point. Any kind of friction or arousal kinda gets the job done…”

        ”Mm…I see,” Jaal says, with a slight nod. Then that little glint comes back in his eyes. The one from before. He gestures at himself. “Would you like to touch it?”

        You look completely intrigued. Fascinated. Almost in the same way he'd regarded your body, Jaal realizes with a glow of happiness. To think this had once been an entirely one-sided kind of relationship...

         Your fingers are gentle along the underside of him, at first. It feels like the rest of him. Maybe a little warmer. Makes sense considering where it’s kept when he’s not…um…doing this with you. A shiver passes through Jaal when your entire hand comes to wrap around it, sliding slowly down him, to the base. He…hadn’t really expected this so quickly. 

        With angara, it can be physical, but usually in the form of embrace. Or heads touching heads. And speaking. Lots of speaking. Promises of love and forever. The crackle of the natural electric energy angara bodies produce.

        His mind is brought immediately back to you when he feels your fingers along the sides of his shaft, over the textured tissue. Cold pleasure starts to flush through his body--you fail to notice the way his muscles start to stiffen in response, you're so fascinated by his body. You thumb rubs over where you think the head of his cock would be—just the tip then. He gasps out, sharply, causing you to flinch and take your hand away. As different as human and angara anatomy is, you suppose there’s still some overlapping of sensitivities. 

        “Sorry,” you apologize, a little meekly.

        ”N-No,” Jaal replies, taking in a breath. His cock visibly twitches and your eyebrows raise. “It felt good. Again, please.”

        Oh if you weren’t red before you definitely are now. And the way your insides clench at his needy request...

        You oblige. 

        Once more, your hand returns to his shaft, and travels up it, before shifting back down. You squeeze a little, still fascinated by the texture of his skin, trying to rummage through your mind for what it could be compared to. The motion coaxes another throaty moan from Jaal, one that helpfully reminds you of how empty you feel right now. Your cunt starts to ache. 

        Patience was key. But you didn't know how much more you had in you. Far less than Jaal, that's for sure. 

        That 'about to shock you' feeling comes once more, and the skin on your wrist and hand prickles in response. Would that...feel good inside you? It's hard not to tinker with the thought. 

        "You are lost in thought," Jaal suddenly observes, fighting through another hiss of pleasure as your thumb strokes over the tip of his cock once more. 

        "You guys have that, um...electric thing going on, right?" You say, a bit quietly. You're kinda embarrassed you haven't sunk as many hours into angara biology as Jaal has into human biology. 

        He hums in confirmation. Probably because he's too blissed out to form words properly as you continue slowly pumping him. Once again, your insides clench and remind you of your own needs. Damn, you're selfish today. And to think something like this...closeness had been scaring you so bad before...

        "I was just thinking..." you muse. Jaal's eyes are shut. "I was just wondering if it'd...add on, if we...y'know-"

        His eyes open. "If I penetrated you?"

        Your head falls back a little in exasperation and he thinks your face gets even redder. Your hand pauses. "Well when you say it like thattttt-"

        "Mm. Apologies. Too aggressive." Then his head cocks a little. "Would you like me to?"

        Your head's still back on the mattress, eyes up at the ceiling, too embarrassed to even look at him. The way you swing back and forth between pure, unadulterated horniness and sudden insecurity is even too much for you to consciously keep up with right now. 

        "Yeah," comes your voice, small. 

        Jaal laughs--such a wonderful sound. You love when he laughs. It's so deep and rumbly. And it makes you feel good about yourself. Warm inside. 

        With your head angled the way it was, your neck is entirely exposed. Jaal takes it upon himself to experiment a little more with the erogenous zones he'd seen mentioned in some old research paper the Tempest's doctor had forwarded him. You startle a little when you feel his lips on your throat, then at the juncture of your jaw and neck. He's warm against you, taking you into his arms as he kisses your skin. You shiver, feeling his hot tongue on the spots he had kissed. 

        You sigh out his name, fingers coming to hold at his biceps. 

        "I suppose that will be enough teasing," Jaal murmurs into your neck, brushing his nose up against it, nuzzling you. "For now, at least. Suffer no longer." 

        "Aren't you hilarious today," you comment, with a bit of a smile, ignoring the pangs from between your legs. 

        He breathes out another short laugh. But then grows somber. "I will only continue if you wish me to. If you are...satisfied then-"

        "Jaal, I'm aching right now," you murmur to him. "Like it hurts. That's how bad I need you."

        He hadn't realized what a stranglehold your building arousal had on you. Perhaps he had overestimated your control over your own body. And he also hadn't meant to cause you pain or discomfort. So he would rectify his mistake.

        Still, Jaal is careful as he glances down, making sure he's lined up properly with your entrance. With a bit of a thoughtful hum to himself, he reaches down to spread open your leg a little wider. His hips shift, bringing his cock flush against your pussy. A soft groan leaves you at the simple sensation. Jaal lets the bioelectrical field around his body grow a little more intense, just to hear your whimper. Your hips buck up a little bit into his own, almost unconsciously. Your hand idly comes to rest over your mouth, brows tense with anticipation, face still flushed.

        Jaal's cock rubs along you, as he gets a better feel for your anatomy. You have half a mind to grab him and stuff him inside you yourself. But...you want to let him do this to you. His way. Your fingers clench a little as his smooth cock presses up against your entrance. He's a little bigger than average, but you're sure all the teasing he's done should prepare you for this. The ache of your arousal alone, tells you that you can take this. 

        He pushes into you with a soft grunt and you sigh out. Jaal glances back up at you, eyes flitting over your face. To check for discomfort, probably. There is none. Only bliss. He waits a few moments longer before reaching deeper inside you, allured by the warmth. He can't resist. 

        Your arms wrap around his thick neck, holding him close to you. You bury your face just beneath his head, into his smooth skin. Stingray. That's what it is. Like… a less wet stingray maybe. Soft and smooth. Decades ago, you’d gone to an aquarium with a stingray touch tank, you think. Thats where the association comes from. You’d have to tell him about it some other time. 

        A soft moan of pleasure comes from you as Jaal begins to pump into you. He's already sensitive from your exploration of his body earlier, so he can't imagine he'll last long. That doesn't bother him too much. Instead, he focuses on finding a pace that brings you the most possible euphoria. There should be an angle he can hit too...

        He grunts a little, shifting his hips. He feels your nails prick into his skin--he doesn't mind it. Jaal's hands slide down your tense body. His thumbs settle over your hips, large hands grasping the back of either of your legs. Gently, he tilts your hips upwards. Just a little. You gasp out as he sinks his cock deeper into you.

        When your cunt tightens around him his arms shake a little. Jaal comes closer to you, barely able to find the strength to keep himself up. He could have let his weight fall onto his elbows, but that would have meant surrendering his hands from your hips, and allowing you out of the angled position. You whimper out his name again, and he feels your face press harder into him. 

        It's too perfect of a position to give up.

        "I-I'm getting..." you start, before you can't continue. "Please..."

        Whatever that electric field of his was starts to pick up. You cry out, feeling the pleasure shoot through you. The combination of his cock continuously stroking up against that sensitive spot inside you, the thrum of energy coming off every part of his body, enveloping you inside and out--it's all too much. 

        You can't hold back the noise, no longer caring who heard from outside the tech lab. Jaal commits each sweet moan to his memory. How your body writhes beneath him, panting and gasping, as you finally cum. With your rolling orgasm, your pussy tightens around him, prompting him to reach his own climax. You can feel him physically heat up on top of you, moaning out, in that deep voice of his, and pray that all 270 pounds of him don't come crashing down on top of you. 

        Getting crushed to death by this wonderful man wouldn't be the worst way to go.

        The thought barely even fully forms in lieu of your powerful orgasm, which left you almost entirely limp beneath Jaal. You feel his body stutter a little. And then he's going again, despite obviously being on the brink of complete overstimulation himself. He's pushing himself, for you.

        "Nnn...Jaal," you moan out--it's a miracle you can even string together a coherent sentence. "You don't-you don't have to-"

        You don't get the chance to finish the miracle sentence. 

        The angara shushes you. "I said I would show you." 

        If this is another way outside the snuggling that shows how he adores you, you'll certainly take it. Every single sexual experience you've ever had in your life pales in comparison to this. Who could have ever guessed the best lover in the universe was only a galaxy away. 

        In that moment, still twitching in pleasure against Jaal, you feel like the luckiest woman in the cluster. No, in the universe. 

        He keeps going.

        Jaal finds he never tires of hearing his name moaned from your lips, like a prayer, a plea. For him. He'd have you making them forever if he could. 

        Another wave of ice cold pleasure starts to build inside of you. Jaal amps up his body's natural electromagnetic field. He'd never have thought to use it on you like this until you had suggested it. He supposes it still counts as a method of communication, that communication being how he wishes to make you feel as wonderful as possible in his arms. 

        His grip tightens on your hips, forcing you to take the pleasure, unable to redirect the energy anywhere else in your body. You scream out again, turning your face to the side, gritting your teeth as tears start to form in your eyes. You cum so hard you feel like you're gonna pass out. Utterly exhausted below Jaal, you can only gasp for air.        

        He knows he could have continued, taking you into the thralls of pleasure unlike any other, until you were entirely unconscious.

        But there is no point to that. He wants you here with him. 

        Jaal shows mercy, and you feel the energy of his body start to gradually ebb away. You shake a little with every breath, as he finally pulls out. Your eyebrows furrow a little, and you take a little longer to get enough of your breath and senses back to form words again.

        "You...you didn't...?" you manage, in pure disbelief. How?

        You thought-you're pretty sure he'd came too? Or at least climaxed? 

        He offers you a smile. "The doctor advised against...mixing fluids. I did not release. Just as a precaution."

        So no accidental pregnancies for angara? Insane. 

        You guess you'd have to find out the truth about fluid mixing in some other way. Maybe with your mouth next time. You could always spit at least if things went south. 

        Your mind goes blank for a moment at the thought of your hands on Jaal's thick thighs, head bobbing-

        Yeah, that's not happening tonight. You don't even think you have the energy to leave the tech lab for the next few hours. With the way your legs are still shaking and feel weightless, you have a feeling they'd just give out from under you. 

        You let your head fall back into his bed, away from his neck, with a heavy breath. "Yeahh, she said the same thing to me." Then you look up at him, through heavy lidded eyes. "But you did, like...get there too right? 'Cuz if you didn't-"

        Jaal barks a laugh at your willingness to please, regardless of your exhaustion. It's...it's absolutely endearing. "Of course I did. How could I not? You're very good at this."

        "Aww, stoppp," you manage to shoot back, bringing one of your arms back to lay it over your head. 

        He takes the opportunity to dip his head down and kiss you once more. He feels the smile form on your lips. Then, he allows himself to settle in at your side, facing you, where he can watch your expressions, of course. Considering you didn't feel his warm cock at your stomach, you figure he's put it away. Purely so he could cuddle up against you uninterrupted. 

        Shakily, you reach a hand up to push some of your hair back, ignoring the light amount of perspiration at your hairline from the multiple orgasms and combined body heat. Jaal seems to observe the movement, and reaches his arm closer to your head. You feel his index finger part through your hair. 

        “This hair of yours. It is very soft,” he says, an absentminded observation, hand stroking through it.

        You let your head drop a little, leaning into his touch. A soft sigh leaves you as you feel yourself relaxing for what feels like the first time in forever. Alll that tension. Gone. Like it was never there at all. You suppose it had becomes so physical, after being psychological for so long. A weight you'd grown too used to being crushed under was gone.

        ”You derive pleasure from this as well?” He asks. 

        “Mm…take a guess,” you reply, voice a bit soft and slow.

        ”I see,” he says. “I will do this for you more often, then.” 

        A bit of a laugh shakes you. He's just...so kind. So good to you. So you decide to use one of his favorite words. 

        "...I adore you, Jaal."

        You can't see it with the way your head is ducked and sleep begins to take you, but the biggest smile in the world spreads across Jaal's face. 

Chapter Text

        If he doesn't look out for you, who will?        

        “I feel as though this is a bad idea,” Jaal says, watching you through worried blue eyes. “We must stay alert. Be prepared-“

        ”Jaal, you’re so big and strong I just know you’ll protect me. It’s fiiiine.” 

        Regardless if you’re joking or not the compliment makes him heat up a little. He can only sputter in response. 

        “Besides we need to have a little fun now and then…” Your hand comes to rest in the crook of his arm. Your hand drifts up, to stroke and squeeze over his bicep. “Riiiight? All this kett shit gets depressing, doesn't it?”

        You have such an eloquent way of expressing your feelings. Jaal’s never minded the apparent foul mouthedness of it, simply happy there exists a human who’s not trying to hide all the time. You’re just so…unabashedly you. Direct, and bold, it's downright attractive to him. You might just be magnetic to everyone you meet, which was why he was very quick to secure you as his own. 

        He remembers how thrilled he had been to find that you returned his affections. 

         So, with that in mind, it’s a little difficult for him to turn down your requests. Even when they’re downright dumb. Juvenile, even. 

        Especially with your hand stroking up his arm, your head tilted innocently to the side. The way you bite your lip a little...

        He’d become pretty familiar with these behaviors of yours. It's how he'd become so fascinated with you in the first place. Trying not to feed into it doesn’t work, because you’ll just go find someone else to do it instead. So if he was the one with you, at least he’d be there to immediately cover you if one of your many terrible ideas or plans blew up in your face. Someone had to be there for you, and he always wanted it to be him.

        You are…for a lack of better word… a walking hurricane of a human being. A trainwreck, he thinks Cora once referred to you as, which he thought sounded like a bad thing. He also wondered what a train was. When he asks what the phrase alludes to, he finds it definitely is mean, but unfortunately, pretty accurate.

        He thinks maybe Cora gets even more frustrated at the fact that you were made Pathfinder over her, with how reckless you are. But it's needed recklessness, at times, in Jaal's opinion. The type of action and recklessness he joined the Resistance for in the first place.         

        Recklessness sometimes gets things done. 

        But you do take it to an...extreme level at times. But that's why he's there. To push your energy in a more productive direction, or sway you from the really bad plans. Some of the other squad mates can counteract that. Peebee and Drack at times only enhance the chaos. If it kills kett, then he supposes it's all the same to him, but he begs you to keep him with you at all times when you're on missions. At least so he can run interference when your worst enablers are around.

        You oblige, mainly because you love him to death and there's nothing more fun than watching him fuss over you. Plus he's a total crackshot, and his skill is very much needed on the team. He knows more about some of these worlds than you, so his guidance is always appreciated. 

        You take advantage of Jaal not being fast enough to fully shoot down your stupid idea this time. At his lack of solid response, you speak again. 

        ”Okay, I’m gonna go for it! Get your rifle ready.” You cast your gaze to Vetra. “You ready to get this on vid? Peebee’s gonna piss.”

        Sometimes Jaal wonders if the asari has been making you more outlandish and childish lately. Or perhaps the two of you have a mutually symbiotic relationship in which you both reduce each others braincells, trying to one up each other. It's honestly a surprise she hasn't tried to steal you out from under him. He thinks the two of you can get along a little too well at times, but trusts you entirely. Peebee's a bit flirty, but you'd never once consider being disloyal to Jaal.

        You take a few steps back from the concrete block the three of you had been using for cover. Jaal warily glances over it, making sure none of the kett a few hundred feet had looked this way and noticed you. Nothing so far, but it never hurts to be cautious.

        “(Y/N), if I may…I still don’t believe this to be a particularly wise use of your time. You’ll be off balance and unprepared-“

        ”Pleaseeeee, Jaal? One day we’ll look back on it on vid when we’re old and grey and married with our ninety-three adult children and their two hundred babies and laugh. Don’t you want our ninety-three adult children to see our glorious youth?”

        He starts getting flustered again, which you can immediately recognize because he can’t form a response without stuttering, or touching at his broad head. If you really get him worked up he pets over his piercings, seeking to ground himself in the ridges of intricate silver. 

        “Eh heh… married?” he echoes. And then his voice becomes a little more high strung, eyes refocusing on you. “Ni-ninety three…?”

        “Bleghhh, are you two gonna do this or not?” Vetra chimes in with a shake of her head, over exaggerating her disgust. You can see a hint of a smile threading through her facial plates as she readies her omni-tool for recording. 

        It’s always very amusing to watch you torture your lovely, patient boyfriend. Vetra kinda thinks Jaal must like the torture if he keeps volunteering to subject himself to it. 

        Jaal heaves a sigh. “Quickly then,” he grumbles, although you can tell his blood is still pumping a bit from your ruthless teasing. If you look close enough, the back of his head, where the skin is delicate and tinted blue with his blood, turns a deeper shade of the color when he's flustered.

        It’s really easy to get him worked up by playing the “our future hypothetical not real children and massive family” card. 

        “Yes! You’re the best boyfriend ever in the universe! I love youuuu~! I promise this is gonna be so funny, just watch.” 

        You better have some kind of repayment in mind for him after this one. Of course, he'd never consider sex with you to be of transactional nature...but it's usually your favorite way to "pay him back" for all the mischief. He learns that offering to eat you out (he's very good at it) tends to have a lot of leverage. Somehow he figures that offer won't convince you not to do this. 

        Once you get an idea in your head, you become pretty obsessive over it. Best to let things run their course when you get to that point. He believes the phrase for it is "one track minded". 

        Jaal takes a step back, allowing you some space. You lift your hands up, focusing with a deep breath in. You hear Vetra’s omnitool start to record. Then you take a step forward, before directing your hands down to the ground and swinging your legs up into the air behind you. 

        You’re able to position your handstand right in front of the broken concrete chunk the three of you were currently using for cover. You take in another breath, arms beginning to shake as you keep up the handstand. You're not really a gold medalist gymnast so this bit is pretty ambitious to begin with.

        Jaal just kinda stands there, awkwardly, watching you. He's never seen a person do this in his entire life. You’d told him what you wanted him to do, described what a handstand was and where you wanted his rifle placed, but he was having a bit of trouble visualizing how to do it. Then, slowly, your legs start to part, shaking as you keep balance, wide enough for him to… oh… he sees. 

        With another defeated sigh, Jaal comes closer, crouching down so he can aim his rifle between your parted legs. It’s…kinda hard for him to focus with your ass so close to his face.

        Vetra snickers, moving back to get a better angle. Her laughing almost makes you start laughing. You barely hold it back, swallowing a giggle that practically brings tears to your eyes.

        Well, at least you’re obviously having fun right now. Anything to put a smile on your face, he supposes, although with your sense of humor, that's not terribly difficult to begin with. He thinks of that smile of yours, and how it seems to melt his heart, melt him, every time.

        Stars above, he loves you.

        But this is so stupid.

        Jaal ignores the shared giggling between you and the turian, too busy locking a kett into his scope, jaw setting as he desperately attempts to concentrate. He takes another breath in, deciding on his target. His finger starts to squeeze the trigger. Then, he exhales, steadying his aim, shooting the kett dead in the face from well over a couple hundred feet away.

        The others around it startle as it crumples to the ground, heads whipping around as they try to determine where the shot came from, all scrambling to take their positions.

        ”Did you get it?” you ask, still fighting through tears. Your arms are shaking bad now.

        Jaal’s kinda impressed by your dedication to this. He’s still not sure if it’s amusing or not. It won’t be if those kett get smart and start heading this way.

        ”Of course, now get down— eh, come up? Stop doing whatever it is you are doing!” His plead turns to a hiss, fueled more by concern than anything else, now that the kett are on high alert.

        Your arms give out just as you start swinging your legs back down, landing you in the most awkward faceplant fall of your life. Vetra laughs a little louder, which instantly tells you she hadn't stopped filming yet. With that same smile of yours, that mischievous little look on your face, you sit upright again, face smeared with dirt and dust from the concrete.

        Jaal just gives you an exasperated look, rifle leaned up on his shoulder, his finger still on the trigger.

        You crane your neck a little over the concrete chunk, checking to see if the kett have figured it out yet. They're still panicking, picking up their weapons and shouting at each other, but none have headed in this direction yet.

        ”See?” you say on the ground, with a bit of a smirk. “They have no idea-“

        Then a bullet whizzes right over the concrete block, barely passing over your shield. 

        “Gun, gun, gun-“ you start to say, frantically searching for it as you stumble up and off the ground, to your feet. You’d set it down on a nearby ledge right before your little stunt.

        ”For fuck’s sake,” Jaal snaps, pushed well past his patience, reaching for it, and tossing it your way. You snatch it out of the air, and ready yourself, crouching back down behind the concrete. He joins you with a huff, shoulder to yours.

        The kett start to come over, apparently having caught a glimpse of one of you. Vetra wisely chooses to put down her omni tool and ready herself for the onslaught. She snaps back into 'work' mode as fast as she snaps into play mode. Maybe you just remind her of her younger sister. 

        You glance around, quickly. As dumb as you are, at least you're battle smart. With the sheer amount of kett numbers coming your way, it's better to split up a bit so the squad isn't overwhelmed as a group. Vetra's further away, so you know she can watch your back. And Jaal...you'll have his. You just need a better vantage point, to pick off kett before they can get dangerously close to him.

        Andddd...there.

        The ledge where you'd placed your own pistol was attached to a pretty rocky, overarching cliff. Maybe twenty feet up or so. Perfect. 

        You grab his shoulder to get his attention. He glances over to you, pupils thin slits. 

        ”Throw me up there, Jaal, I have another idea.” You gesture to a cliff edge you wouldn’t have been able to scale with the jump jet alone.

        ”Another idea?!” He hissed.

        But regardless, he trusts you. So, he takes a hold of you, heaving you up into the air. If he's not fast enough, both of you risk taking fire from the oncoming wave of kett. With the boost, you’re able to quickly scramble to the top, disappearing out of his line of sight. Another rush of bullets narrowly skims you. He ducks back behind cover.

        Vetra starts to fire, picking off the braver kett near the front. The braver, much weaker kett. Jaal hurls a grenade over the barricade, just to get some noise and chaos into the mix. Disorientation is a good way to scatter an otherwise organized unit. You specialize in it and have really encouraged that strategy. 

        It is your unpredictability that also makes you so dangerous to the kett. 

        Many would call it a danger to your own squad too. But...he doesn't know about that. He's never felt put in danger by your actions or less than wise, impulsive decisions. He's always only found himself worrying about you. He reminds himself often you are indeed capable of handling yourself, otherwise you wouldn't be the esteemed Pathfinder. 

        He curses under his breath, noticing a much bulkier, bigger kett amongst the ranks. An Anointed. Great. If he'd noticed one there, among the fairly easy to pick off Chosen, he wouldn't have even entertained your stupid idea. He fires off his rifle, downing another smaller kett. He hears your gun firing from above, and several more fall. Not nearly enough, however.

        With the sheer number of them alone, it won't be long before the three of you are entirely overwhelmed. 

        The Anointed comes closer and closer to the block, and aims. Jaal begins to cloak. He must protect you and Vetra at any cost.

        You come from above, omni-blade bared, landing directly on top of the kett’s broad shoulders. Jaal’s own dagger sinks into it from behind, as you kneel down, legs tightening around its head. You sink your blade into its throat and slash, hard, tearing as deep as possible, spraying green blood everywhere. The Anointed groans, plasma cannon dropping out of its hands, as it collapses over from the combined assault.

        It falls, backwards, with your weight on it. Jaal manages to move out of the way on time. Meanwhile, you get squashed beneath it. Vetra surges forwards to pick off the last few kett, demoralized and scrambling, after watching the Anointed fall. 

        "I've got it, I've got it," Vetra calls out, running past both of you. "Just make sure she's good!"

        You crawl out from under it with a sigh, looking up at Jaal.

        “Big tough bastard," you say affectionately, "You were gonna try to take this thing on up close all alone?”

        ”Were you not attempting to do the same?" He inquires, with a lift of his brow. You just offer him a shrug as an answer. 

        Jaal rolls his eyes and kneels down to help you. You let out a wheeze as you finish dragging yourself out from under the corpse, stained in its blood. Jaal's hand reaches for yours, and he pulls you to your feet easily. You give him a smile as he rubs a thumb over your cheek, trying to clear some of the kett bloodstain off.

        It just kinda smears around and you lightly bat his hand away.

        "Hey, don't worry about it. I'll just hit the showers," you tell Jaal, before pulling your gun back out from your leg holster and springing off in Vetra's direction to rejoin the fray. 

        Jaal gazes after you. Then, he reloads his rifle, and breaks into a light jog after you, attempting to catch up to the action. At one point, he would have wanted to sternly talk to you about doing something so risky, when you could have just shot from a distance. But to be honest, you helped take the thing down. 

        And perhaps he could even sneak into the showers with you once you were all back on the Tempest. 

        Jaal supposes all can be forgiven, when you invite him to join you. You'd told him there was kett blood dried in hard to reach places. 

        Later on, when the Tempest docked, you had also invited him up to your apartment in the docking bay. 

        You heave a massive sigh as you collapse down onto your bed. Sure, the mattress in the Pathfinder's quarters on board is decent, but nothing beats a bed during shore leave. A loud, dramatically extended groan comes from you as you stretch out as far as you can.

        Jaal comes to sit on the edge of the bed, near you. He's changed out of his armor, roffjin carefully hung up on the coat rack near the door. You don't actually use that rack yourself. You just got it because you said you felt like having it. Who is he to challenge your heart's desires? 

        His head turns so he can look at you.

        He'd been uncharacteristically quiet up until this point. You'd just kinda thought he was sulking after helping you pull off your stunt, and figured he'd get over it on his own. 

        “Did you mean it earlier?” Jaal asks, voice cutting through the silence.

        ”Hm?”

        ”The thing about…well… growing old and ‘grey’ together. And being married. A-and-“

        You sit up. Then, you make a noise like you're thinking, getting up off the bed and starting to pace around the room. 

        ”The ninety-three kids? ‘Course I am. Well. Maybe not that many. I don’t think humans physically can make that many and giving birth hurts a lot I think, but we can just adopt and make up for it.” You put a hand to your chin, in thought. Yeah adoption could work. 

        Without you noticing, Jaal had gotten off the bed as well, coming to stand in front of you. His large, warm hands move to your hips. There's intention to the movement that you pick up on instantly. You're always game for a round with him. While you'd invited him to join you in the Tempest's showers earlier, nothing really went on. That was fine--you didn't really care what anyone thought of you and Jaal, and what the two of you did alone, but you wouldn't exactly appreciate being walked in on either. 

        Jaal makes it no secret that he is entirely attracted to you. In every possible way. Including physical. So you figured it took him a great deal of restraint not to make a move on you back in those showers. He can also appreciate the little things, however, like simply holding you in his arms while the hot water runs over you both.

        ”’Course I’m on those blockers still," you breathe out, gazing up at him. "So we can’t start on that till later. Does that bother you?”

        He knows you're noisy and headstrong enough to have the effects of the blocker removed. But it just wasn't in your priorities. He thinks maybe you like being able to fuck him raw and not worry about possible pregnancy. He supposes it would be hard to focus on your Pathfinder duties if anything did take. 

        But he respects the decision all the same. It makes sense. 

        ”No. Never. As long as you are with me, I will always be happy.” He presses his head to yours, gazing at you lovingly. Longingly. How can he long for something already in his arms? You think it's just something about his face. 

        His thumbs hook under the waistband of your sweatpants, starting to draw them down your legs. Your panties halfway revealed, you direct your hips into his, grinding up against his body. You hear a hiss of arousal sound from him, a short breath sucked in through his mouth. 

        You tear off you shirt, so hurriedly if Jaal had blinked he would have missed it. You fling it haphazardly across the room. It smacks against the TV screen and falls down to the floor, in front of the couch. You'd immediately changed into your loungewear when you'd gotten here, so there was no bra to worry about removing. 

        His eyes trail slow over your body. Ah yes. Another thing he's grown to love about your body. They're soft. Warm. Fit nicely in his hands...sometimes he rests his face in between them when he's on top of you. 

        “I don’t know if we are even able to reproduce regardless of these ‘blockers’,” Jaal murmurs, “but it won’t stop me from fucking you like we can.”

        You removing your clothes prompts him to do the same. Until he's standing before you, entirely bare. Not wanting to be outdone, you kick off your sweatpants and underwear, coming to cross your arms over your chest. You lift your chin at him.

        ”Gotta get practicing to make those ninety three kids, big guy,” you say, unable to help yourself, even when you’re turned on.

        He nods, almost thoughtfully. Then, his hands come to grasp at your thighs, enveloping your legs, just under your ass. He lifts you, easy in his hands, bringing you on top of his hips. His lips press to yours. You hook your legs over his waist, pulling him in closer, parting your lips further for his tongue. Your tits squish up against the structure of his own chest. A breathy moan comes from you, your hands stroking over the back of his head. Your fingers trace over the ridges and lines of his anatomy.

        ”Hey,” you manage, once he breaks the kiss to move on to your neck.

        He hums his acknowledgement, as his lips traveling down your upper body, to kiss between your breasts. Your hands stroke over his hood, then come to push at the back of his head, bringing him closer to you. The great part about your boyfriend being an alien is that his facial anatomy is entirely different from a human's--his nose is delicate and flat, meaning he's able to press his face to your skin almost entirely and breathe fine. 

        ”If I hit that handstand again, y’think you could, like, eat me out-“ 

        “Absolutely not,” he says, stubbornly, still pressed to your chest. You feel him move to right breast, speaking between kisses. “When I devour you, I want you laying down and comfortable and-“

        ”Maybe I’m more comfortable standing on my hands.”

        “Of all the-“ he starts, before realizing you’re teasing again. He doesn't bother lifting his head, breath hot on your body. ”I know you revel in your own ridiculousness, but I am attempting to pleasure you.”

        You nod, pursing your lips. “Right. Right. Carry on, my beloved, darling, dearest boyfriend.” Even if you’re just parroting what he calls you back to him, perhaps even teasing, Jaal can’t resist the heat burning in him. 

        “Eventhoughmyhusbandwouldletmedoahandstand-“

        His mouth meets yours again, much more aggressively, Jaal’s attempt to shut you up. It works, a little too well, as you abandon the bit entirely in favor of letting your barely clothed cunt grind up against his cock. Mouth opening for a breath, to let loose another moan of pleasure, Jaal takes the opportunity to shift down to bite gently on your bottom lip. He pulls, just a little, and you whimper out. Your hips roll up against his, searching for blissful friction.

        His cock hasn't emerged from between his legs quite yet. He likes letting you just grind at his pubic bone, chasing your little high. He likes making you work for it sometimes. Another shaking breath comes from you. Loud enough for him to hear. 

        ”I prefer when you are noisy like this instead,” he murmurs to you, heatedly. 

        "Could be noisier if you stopped playing around..."

        Too tempting of an offer for Jaal to resist. Still thrusting dry and desperate against his body, your movements coax his dick out. He groans out as you feel him grow larger, longer. Harder. Hotter. It's your turn to toy with him, taunting him with every movement. 

        If he's not mistaken, he's pretty sure he sees an evil little smile on your face as you roll your pussy into him, rubbing it slow along his length, letting him feel your arousal, how wet and hot you were for him. 

        "Ngh...my..." he manages. "My darling one..."

        You ignore his pleas, continue to grind into his body. 

        "I-I can't-" Jaal breathes out, more of a choke than anything else. Like he's on the verge of tears. Which, honestly, you wouldn't be surprised if he was. His brows furrow, eyes half shut, so lost in your teasing. 

        Eventually, you take pity on Jaal, and the desperate movement of his cock against you. Shifting a little, you manage to line yourself up with it, starting to sink your hips downwards. You sigh out, letting him push deeper and deeper inside of you. Like before, his hips start to move against you, and he begins to thrust. Each pump of his cock sparks a wave of pleasure that washes through your body, one building on top of the other as he finds a consistent rhythm. A pleasured sigh comes from you, your head falling back, fingers still at the back of his head.

        There's no wall for you to lean on, no bed to support you. Just his arms around you, gradually sliding up your back to support you better as his thrusts begin to grow more aggressive. You moan out, eyes falling shut in bliss as his cock curves inside you. His panting grows heavier. 

        You start to grow frustrated, unable to reach your orgasm with the way you're positioned. Jaal senses your frustration, being as intuitive as he was.

        "Bed?" he breathes to you.

        "Please," you hiss, through clenched teeth. 

        With your arms still wrapped around him, legs settled over his hips, he brings you back down to the bed. Back to where you started. With the pressure of the mattress on your back, you're able to move your hips how you wish. His body weighs heavier on top of you, bringing out another moan from your lips.

        "Jaal~" you cry out, as his body snaps up against yours. "J-Just a little moree-"

        He'd have been more inclined to talk you through it if he hadn't busied himself with beginning to suck the delicate skin on your collarbone. He wishes to leave his marks on you. To stroke his finger tips over the light bruises and cause you to shiver at his touch is one of his simpler pleasures. The blunt of his teeth make their way into your skin as well, as your body lurches up against him, and your hips buck.

        "Ughnn," you sigh out, prompting a soft, affectionate puff of air from his nose against you. Your hands are absentmindedly stroking along the back of his head now.

        So damn cute...Jaal's hand sinks down your body, pressed between his hips and yours. His index finger, separated from the rest, curls into your folds, searching slowly for the bundle of nerves that he knew would bring you screaming over the edge. A soft hum comes from him, before he finds it, based on how your hips jerk up violently into his cock once more. Jaal takes a moment to collect himself, not wanting to cum early, as he feels your pussy clench around his length. 

        He can choose not to release, but he's found that you often encourage it, liking the warmth inside you. And how it looks stained between your legs, sticky. Proof that he loves you inside and out, you once told him. It was one of the most erotic things you'd ever said to him. 

        Slowly, his finger circles at your clit, causing you to sharp gasp out. With the way his head is bowed slightly to kiss along your chest, he can hear your mewls directly in his ear. A shiver passes through him, one that brings a stutter to his consistent pace, as he groans out. 

        "Ah, my love," Jaal murmurs, brows furrowing in bliss, as he forces his finger to keep moving.

        "C-Close," is all you can muster, body twisting beneath him as you finally start to reach your climax.

        The loudest, most relieved sigh Jaal's ever heard you make passes your lips, body tightening beneath his. He lets himself sink into the thralls of bliss as well, lost deep in you.       

        "A-ah, Jaal..." you murmur his name, last consonant drawn out low, arms sliding off and away from him. "I love this..."

        A soft chuckle leaves him, reverberating through his body, passing to yours. "I'm glad to hear."

        He leans a little closer, for the sake of kissing you on the mouth once more, much softer this time. He pulls out from inside you, sheathing himself before you can convince him to go another ten rounds. 

        Not because he can't, but because last time it'd left you bruised and sore and he couldn't stand watching you limp around after. Something something human hubris.      

        The two of you lay together a little longer, in your combined sweat and cum. Combined filth, if you will. You bury your face in his hood, taking in his smell. He's still fresh from the brief rinse off the two of you had in the Tempest, but had grown a little muskier with the exertion and horniness. He overheats fast, which you feel like explains his desire to always smell good, what with all the products he kept on him. Whether he's using his perfumes or not, you always enjoy just smelling him, finding all of him comforting. 

        He feels you inhaling against him, a flushes a little, once more.

        "Must you?" he asks, although he's very much flattered.

        "Don't be coy, I know you love it," you mutter, with a smile. "You always smell so good to me."

        "Regardless," Jaal says, clearing his throat a little. You feel the vibration through the tissue of his neck. "We shouldn't remain like this for long..."

        "You wanna hit the shower again, don't you? Wasn't seeing me naked once good enough? Greeeedy." You punctuate the last syllable. 

        "My dearest, you are naked now."

        "So it seems."

        Jaal starts to get up. With the way you still hold onto him, he figures you're too lazy to even walk with him. Fine. That doesn't bother him. He can carry you easy, as he'd proven before. 

        You cling to him as he carries you to your bathroom for the second time that day, and then steps into the shower. He’s spent the night so many times here with you during shore leave he’s already familiar with how to work it. He loves it much more than the bathroom on the Tempest, with its tiny spaces and lack of privacy. 

        You’d never been so grateful you accepted the offer of this apartment. The Tempest is great but… even you need some alone time now and then. And privacy with Jaal.

        Many of his lotions and creams and perfumes line the shower or bathroom counters. He's basically made a second home here. When he's not around sometimes you'll smell the products, which you proudly let him know. He thinks you were attempting to shock him and fluster him then, but it honestly just made him swoon. 

        "Come now," he says to you, eventually convincing you to let him out of the full body hold you'd had him in for over half an hour now. 

        You heave a melodramatic sigh and release him, hopping down onto the ground, with your arms still wrapped around his neck for support. You still remain leaned on him, a bit of unsteadiness in your legs from how hard he'd made them shake earlier. 

        The warm water streams over the both of you. Jaal hums a little, reaching for a bottle of your shampoo. You feel him lather some of it into your hair and groan a little, leaning into his touch. While he may chide you for being lazy at times, he's the first in line to take such intimate care of you. Sometimes it's just hard for you to remember, much less care about taking care of yourself, with such dire events going on. 

        You tilt your head back, into the stream, letting it wash the product from your head. He finds the conditioner next, no problem at all. While it sits, he's quick to work some of your body wash into your skin, all over your body. He likes how the suds look over your shining skin, how the white foam and bubbles cling to your body and highlight your form. 

        "My turn," you say, voice soft to him. So soft he wouldn't have caught it over the sound of the shower if he hadn't really been listening.

        He keeps most of his products in his own little corner, making it easy for you to find what he prefers most. They're of his own making, which you find very cute. Either way, they work, making him very soft to the touch. And smooth too. Whatever this is has a very fresh smell to it. Your hands travel around the curve of his neck hood, working it into the harder to reach areas. The smallest of smiles spreads across his face.

        So you had been paying attention when he had explained to you how it was to be cleaned. He's very particular about it, so it means a great deal to him. And he loves feeling your hands on him like this. Jaal had been so focused on getting all the kett blood off you in the Tempest showers he hadn't even cared about the quick rinse off drying out his own skin.

        He lets you under the shower head first, clearing the conditioner from your hair and the lathered body wash off your skin. He ducks his head under the water next.

        Even though it's not that necessary, the two of you remain in the clouds of rising steam a little longer. Your head rests on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. His chin rests on top of your head, hands settled idle at your waist. 

        "Mm...enough of this," Jaal's voice comes, after a few more moments of peace. 

        You nod, reaching to turn off the shower. You step out, wrapping a towel around yourself, the cold instantly starting to wake you up. Jaal grabs his own towel, a darker color than yours so he can distinguish it. 

        "I'll join you in a moment," he calls after you, as you wander out of the bathroom.

        Right, he still has to work that moisturizing cream into his neck and face.

        "Whatever keeps you pretty for me," you throw back at him.

        You don't bother throwing any of your loungewear back on. If Jaal gets to walk around your studio apartment naked, you get to walk around your studio apartment naked. Not that you weren't doing that before you were going hot and heavy with the angara. 

        With a huff, you collapse down onto your side of the bed, before scooting over automatically for Jaal. He always smells so heavenly when given the opportunity to fully shower. You take in a huge breath, and he wraps an arm around your shoulders, bringing you in close to his side. 

        “When we are married, would you want me to come live in a human colony? Or-?” Jaal trails off. He never has to wait for an answer from you. It's like you immediately know what you're going to say and are 100% sure of it every time.

        ”Honestly we should move back in with your mom, I love her. At least, like, from the one time I met her.” You lean closer to kiss the side of his neck hood, then sit up a little to whisper in his ear. “We could be basement dwellers forever…”

        ”Basement…dweller…? What is that? My mother’s home does not have a basement-“

        ”I’m kidding,” you say. “Sometimes humans like- Don’t ever move out or get independent and just mooch of their parents forever. It's a loser thing.”

        ”Mm. I do not understand. Angaran families remain together as long as possible. We rely on one another. In this way, we are stronger.” 

        Ah. Another reminder of how family based angara were. With what had happened to your father and the death of your mother...brother in a coma...well...it's still a little hard for you to relate to that. Much less get used to it. But you can see yourself growing to love it. You'd told Jaal that often. 

        You wanted badly to be apart of his life. You'd known that the second you'd met his true mother and siblings.

        Still you can't help the bitterness. ”I guess humans are just lazier and suck more or something.” 

        Jaal sighs, chest moving with it. He hadn't meant for his words to come off as superior to you. Sometimes he forgets how different your life and background were from his own. And it hurts him, how you clearly hurt, not yet recovered from the sting of losing most of your family. That is why he so badly wished to add you to his own.

         “That is not what I said-” Jaal starts.

        ”I know, I know…I just…I’m kinda jealous of how close you guys are to each other. So maybe I’m not kidding about just moving back to wherever your mom and family is. They made me feel so…welcome when I visited. Safe. I didn't even really feel all that comfortable in a room with my own family. It was like being a room with strangers. Nothing compared to your people.”

        He practically glows, although your account of your family saddens him. A family that felt like strangers...it's unimaginable to him.

        A soft chuckle leaves Jaal. “I am glad to hear. She would agree to your idea, instantly, of course. But I worry she would smother you.”

        ”I’d love her to,” you sigh dreamily.

         Sahuna really is so nice. And she was actually kinda good at making some of the human food she likes having you try. Last time you'd visited Havarl, she'd insisted you try a bit of everything she attempted to make--mainly baked goods. Then she sent you back to the Tempest with practically all of it, whispering to you that no one else liked it, finding it too "spicy". You'd been tempted to hoard it all in your quarters but also knew it was impossible to eat that much before it went bad and ended up sharing it with the non-dextro crew members.

        "I would date Jaal too if it meant his mum made me stuff like this," Liam had commented through a mouthful of pie.

        "I know you're joking but genuinely he's mine forever," you'd responded. 

        He'd just put his hands up in defeat. Another effortless victory for you. 

        Jaal chuckles, bringing you back to the present. “Ah, ah. You are mine to smother.” As if to prove his point, he shifts, arms pulling tight around you. He squeezes you up against his body, hard enough to push some of the breath out your lungs. 

        “Yeah…I kinda hate all the animal screaming on Havarl anyways…Plus with how noisy we get sometimes…” It comes out as more than a wheeze. Once you get more of your breath back you press your cheek into him. “Hm. I’m too picky for this. Guess home for me is wherever you are then. So we’ll just say it’s up to you. Just not Voeld. Wayyy too cold. See? Me being picky again.” 

        ”I could keep you warm,” Jaal murmurs. His head turns to the side so his eyes can meet yours. “You could just stay in my arms forever. And the wind would drown out all your little sounds-“

        ”You know what place is really warm? Elaaden. I know how much you loooooved it there-“ It’s just way too tempting to ruin the flow of his attempted smooth talking. He’s too good at it, and his voice drives you wild regularly. So it's even worse when he gets flirty. It’s safer for both of you, and your genitals in the long run. 

        ”Please, do not start this,” he groans.

        ”And you get all grumpy and cranky and sweaty-“ you continue on, unable to resist prodding at him. “We could be so hot and gross and nasty together.” 

        Jaal puts an exasperated hand to his head. 

        “Okay, okay, no Elaaden. How about your second favorite, Kadara then? Imagine rescuing me from all the pirates and smugglers that kidnap me because I’m so so beautiful and amazing.” You throw a dramatic arm over your head, after wrestling it out from the full body bind he has you in, between his arm and body.

        Jaal snorts, reaching up for your hand with the arm not wrapped around you, just to hold it. He turns on his side to accommodate the position. “I once saw a man lay his hand on you in the Kadara markets. I didn’t even have a chance to come ‘save’ you. I believe you twisted his hand the wrong way until there was a very unfortunate snapping sound.”

        “Did I do that? I don’t remember doing that.” You peek out at him from under your arm.

        He nods. “You did. And the guards came running because he was screaming so loudly.”

        You shrug, letting him pull your arm away from your face. “Don’t like anyone but you touching me, Jaal, I can’t help that.” 

        While hearing that makes him glow with happiness and a touch of smugness, Jaal heaves an exhale, an extra frustrated huff. “I think I prefer the cuddling forever on Voeld plan more.” He brings your arm to cross over your body, holding it against his bare chest. 

        ”If only, if only,” you say, wistfully, tilting your chin up a bit and pressing a kiss to his scarred cheek. An apology for making him put up with your less than satisfactory and extremely unsexy, mood ruining pillow talk.

        “Mm…indeed. We still have kett to shoot.” 

        “Yeah I’m gonna make them fucking pay.”

        A thrill travels up his spine. Jaal loves when you talk like that. So crass, like almost everything else you say. But you get this look in your eyes. A sort of wild, indignant determination that has him fully convinced if anyone can drive off those kett one by one— its you. 

        And he wants to be at your side as you do it. When it’s over. For the years and years after. 

        He can’t picture himself without you.

        Which brings up another matter...

        “Recently, you have been much more reckless. As we grow closer to finding Meridian, you grow restless. You… act out so often…I worry for you, my beloved. And I know you already know that, but...please understand.” 

        “Yeah I’m probably the biggest clown the Pathfinders got,” you admit. “But I just…I wanna do my own thing. Away from these overreaching Initiative bastards and-and all the corrupt politics. They've done nothing but get in our way, o-or try to put up tape I'm just gonna rip right down." A frustrated huff leaves you. "And it’s hard enough with the kett…watching everyone lose hope and get that look in their eyes ‘cuz of them. It pisses me right the fuck off, Jaal.” 

        “You have every right to be angry,” he says, softly.

        ”Mhm. And you do too. But I can’t just be angry all the time, it’s bad for the crew. Bad for me too. Especially as things start to get more serious. So why not just…have some fun here and there? Dick around a bit you know?"

        Sometimes he has trouble keeping up with all the slang and the way you talk but…he can usually fill in the blanks using context alone. And you’re always eager to explain new cuss words to him and how to use them most effectively. Like basement dweller, although he is not too sure where he would be able to use that term. 

        “I’m not saying you cannot have your fun,” Jaal starts, “but sometimes, it feels to me as though you have a death wish. That you are just... playing with your life. Ah, perhaps you believe the situation is hopeless, and your chances are already so low, none of it matters at all. At least, that it how it seems to me.”

        ”'Course it matters. But it’s my life to play with-“ you start, a bit indignantly, before Jaal cuts you off.

        ”No,” he says, firmly. “You should not play with something of such importance. The crew needs you. The Nexus and the angara need you. And…I…I value you so greatly, I could not even begin to describe it. I need you.”

        You settle down a little, feeling all the anger start to be pulled from your blood. Out of your body. Like it’s being detoxified. Jaal has that kind of effect on you. Part of why you fell in love with him. He continues on. 

        “How can I marry you if you are dead, dearest? How will we grow old together? Do you understand?” 

        You nod.

        ”Good. I only wish to look out for you. And to keep you safe. And to love you as long as I can. If you take that from me because you want to…” he clicks his tongue, reaching for an example. Which isn’t that hard because of the dozens of terrible ideas you’ve had that he’s gently shoved you away from. “Because you want to, say, ‘see if you can do a backflip off this remnant pillar’ and you fall and break your beautiful neck, I will never forgive you.” 

        He ducks his head and leans a little closer, nuzzling under your chin, pressing his lips to your neck, to punctuate his point. Huh, he still remembers that? Guess he really does stress out about it all. But he must truly love you to death for caring so much about it. 

        “Yeah? I appreciate that, Jaal,” you say, feeling his head lift so he can nuzzle into your cheek.

        It’s a pleasant feeling. 

        A bit of calm silence comes after, before you speak once more. In reference to your stunt from earlier in the day, of course. What else could it be about, the way you obviously vie for his attention, whether it be positive and negative. 

        ”It was a little funny though, right? Juuust a little scooch funny.”

        He…he supposed looking back now, the ridiculousness and chaos of it all could be mildly entertaining. He probably needs another few days to find your jackassery properly amusing, but for now, he’ll placate you. 

        ”Yes. Just a little. A...a ‘scooch’.” 

        “I’ll make sure Vetra gets you that vid too.” 

Chapter Text

anything at all

*work is from Kinktober 2025 one shot collection but falls into this fandom-- avoiding posting the same one shot twice