Chapter Text
Their relationship was a rocky one. One moment it would go from thrilling battles in alleyways that would leave injuries on both of their bodies, to affection and comfort in the confines of Atsushi’s own home.
Akutagawa wasn’t one for showing any form of affection towards him and Atsushi understood this. It was the norm to grow up completely indifferent to things such as affection and love when growing up in the mafia.
Subjected to such a harsh environment at such a young age and learning to become a murderer when those times were supposed to be used for growing up and learning right from wrong.
Atsushi had no clue as to what Akutagawa had seen throughout his many years in the mafia since he guessed it was far worse from any of the many horrors that he had seen at the orphanage that he had been kicked out of.
Nights would be spent lying down on the futon in Atsushi’s apartment, tracing the scars that lined Akutagawa’s pale skin. They ranged from small pink scars to jagged one that left long pink lines along his skin.
Akutagawa’s skin was lined with many scars but Atsushi’s skin contained only a few scars. Most of the scars were scars that he had gained from his life at the orphanage but most of the scars that were supposed to be left behind from being impaled by things like Akutagawa’s ability were simply not there.
No matter how many scars Akutagawa had, Atsushi would love each and every one of them for as long as he so lived. On nights like these when they were alone together for once, Atsushi would find himself kissing those scars that lined the other’s skin no matter how much embarrassment it caused him.
He could tell that Akutagawa was also embarrassed by these actions and he had dared to voice his complaints a few times but these complaints were just masks to hide that he actually enjoyed them no matter how unused to these actions he was.
If it was really late, they would find excuses just to talk to each other. It didn’t matter what they talked about when it was this late at night but just being in the other’s company was enough for the two of them.
However when it came to becoming extremely late at night, Atsushi’s questions would become weirder by the second depending on how tired he was but Akutagawa didn’t seem to pay any mind to it.
Some nights these questions would turn into something philosophical. Questions asking whether or not there were any other life forms out there in the vast universe or the origin of the abilities that they had been born with.
Most of these questions Akutagawa couldn’t supply the answer for considering he didn’t know the answer himself. Once again tonight, he couldn’t supply the answer that Atsushi had been looking for.
The question had been, “What do you think happens after death?”
Akutagawa payed no concern for what happened after death. He didn’t believe in things like the afterlife when he had seen worse things living in such a place as the slumps. He had seen people with no desire to live who had chosen the easy way out and he had seen some who had fallen victim to illness such as himself.
Those people he had seen seemed to not care about what happened to them after death. Anything was better than wasting your life rotting away in the slumps of Yokohama.
This was why Akutagawa couldn’t answer Atsushi’s question. He didn’t know the answer himself and he didn’t give as much thought as he should have into the matter.
These questions were always left unanswered and no matter how cruel it seemed to do so, he didn’t respond to the questions that Atsushi posed. He didn’t think much of these questions at the time but these questions were what plagued his mind whenever he thought of his significant other.
They would always end up falling asleep, limbs entangled in the dark visage of the night. Falling asleep to the comforting presence of the other and feeling safe and secure. Night was the only time they could find time for each other, for their relationship was kept a secret from everyone around them though they both suspected that Dazai had already caught on to what their relationship really was a long time ago
Tracing and placing kisses on scars, chaste kisses in the dark, affectionate touches. These were all things that were lost to the cruel aspect of reality. These things were no more and Akutagawa would never regain the feeling he had felt when in the presence of Atsushi.
A relationship like theirs was best kept secret from everyone around them. If others were to catch on to what was really going on between Akutagawa and Atsushi then the punishments would surely be quite severe. For they were on opposite sides and rivalry between both sides was quite strong.
Acting like they were only enemies and nothing more in the daylight but then resorting to affection in the nighttime. Relationships like these were best kept this way to avoid any danger of being found out or endangered.
The situation they were in now wasn’t due to being found out. It was rather due to the two groups agreeing that Akutagawa and Atsushi should be working together since they would be a powerful duo if the two powers were combined.
This proved to be true but Akutagawa’s profession was too dangerous for Atsushi and for someone with no experience in fighting like this, he didn’t stand a chance.
Akutagawa believed that he could save anyone if he tried hard enough and yet some things he didn’t have enough power to be able to save. Fighting in sync like they had so many times before, the man-tiger and the silent rapid dog fought back to back.
It didn’t matter how much power he could have used to save him, all that he could do in this moment was blame himself. An enemy attack that Atsushi couldn’t handle was what ended the moments that they had spent so much of their time creating.
It was an attack that even Atsushi wouldn’t have been able to heal from despite his regenerative abilities. The enemy had ended up injuring Atsushi quite severely and for the first time in broad daylight, Akutagawa’s eyes were blinded by fury as he yelled his lover’s name in hopes that he would answer him back.
Completely killing the final enemy, he sprinted over to where Atsushi lied on the ground and knelt down next to him taking in the injuries that he had acquired.
The injuries seemed to be quite severe and normally Akutagawa wouldn’t worry but what made him worry was the fact that the wounds simply weren’t healing like they were supposed to. “Akutagawa..” came Atsushi’s broken voice, laced by pain.
Akutagawa took Atsushi’s hand in his and held it close to him, “Be quiet. I will not allow you to die like this.” Even though he said this, he couldn’t help but pay attention to the rapidly growing puddle of blood growing around Atsushi.
Staring straight into those eyes that looked like a sunset he forced himself to believe that this wasn’t really the end. It couldn’t be the end right? They would just go back to those calming nights, snuggled close to each other in the comfort of Atsushi’s futon after all of this was over.
That’s how it would always play out.
He wasn’t going to let Atsushi leave him. Especially in such a way as this.
The light was quickly fading from Atsushi’s eyes and his breaths came in quick, short breaths as he tried to grip onto whatever life had left to offer him. Gripping onto Atsushi’s hand, he demanded, “Stay with me.”
There was only one place that he could go to to get help for Atsushi and even though it was his last choice, it was better then watching the light fade away from Atsushi’s eyes and watching as he took his final breath.
Scooping Atsushi into his arms in one fluid motion he looked away from the blood that was left behind and was now staining his button up shirt. Making his way through the alleyways as fast as he could, he didn’t pay any mind to the injuries he had sustained. All that mattered right now was somehow finding a way to keep Atsushi alive.
Checking Atsushi’s breathing to make sure that he was still alive once he was standing in front of the agency, he found that he was still breathing and he felt relieved to find out that Atsushi was still alive.
Pushing against the doors of the agency, he made his trek up the stairs once he got through the doors. Walking up the steps only reminded him of the blood that was seeping through his shirt as of this moment but there was more important things to deal with right now.
Once reaching the level that the detective agency was actually on, he barely managed to open the door while still holding onto Atsushi. The door opened with a creak and he was met with the face of Dazai and a few others.
His legs wobbled from underneath him and he collapsed onto the floor, still holding onto Atsushi. People surged towards him but he didn’t register their faces as the loss of blood became quite prominent.
He only registered in his brain what was going on when Atsushi was taken from his arms and carried towards the infirmary where Akutagawa was sure to be headed next.
His skin tone looked paler than it normally did which was largely due to his illness and the world around him began to spin, passing by in a blur. Squinting trying to find a sense of what was going on, he suddenly felt lightheaded and the next thing he knew, he had collapsed onto the floor as the darkness completely engulfed his vision.
I hope to see you again soon, man-tiger.