Chapter Text
It wasn’t that William was particularly annoying. He was just so, so infuriating.
To James, anyway; the guy seemed a prick, seemed to have that slightly too-cocky persona and a jawline that could slice through anything seamlessly. Every guy he’d met like that ended up far too haughty and far, far too much for James’ liking… despite his own flaws, their similarities, his own too-cocky attitude and his winner complex.
It wasn’t that James was particularly rude. He just seemed to have it out for Will, seemed to have built up an irritation towards him.
And what had Will done to warrant it?
Absolutely nothing. It seemed that, since their first conversation, James had stuck up walls and had a secret club that everybody except Will seemed to know the access code for.
So, naturally, James’ tendencies affected Will’s own and, after a few months of trying to get on the man’s good side, he gave up and reciprocated his pure, utter dislike for him. You don’t give what you don’t want to receive back, right?
To James, though, William giving up only infuriated him more and he couldn’t figure out the reason why. Or, more like he could , he knew exactly why he was so hostile towards William, he just didn’t want to accept it. Didn’t want to accept the fact that William’s cocky grin whenever he placed higher than James in a race did something to his stomach, his heart; it had started fucking up his mind and sending him into a spiral the same night until he snapped himself out of it and found something else to hate him for.
James tried daily to block out the reminders that Lizzie would shoot his way, teasing him for his one slip-up the first day he laid eyes on William. The first day the man had appeared, having moved up from Formula 2 to Formula 1, James had only known his last name and hadn’t cared to ask around for it at first… until Lizzie had noticed James eyeing him up, trying to get a better look.
“You seem distracted.” James’ teammate pointed out, a coy smile on her face that went against her gentle, or typically bubbly, nature. Like she knew something off the bat.
“I’m not.” James had combatted, quitting the craning of his neck to divert his attention to Lizzie, her lighter pink hair standing out against the orange of their shared McLaren uniform.
“I don’t know, James, you seem pretty distracted.” She mused, tilting her head to the side, “Something caught your eye?”
“Nothing.”
“Right.”
Lizzie flashed him a warm but knowing smile, and James had sighed and ran a hand down his face. He knew he couldn’t hide things from her; they’d been working together since James was bumped up to Formula One a few years prior, a jump straight from three.
“She’s just… God, she’s attractive.” He grumbled, glancing over to catch another glimpse of the new arrival, only getting a flash of the long blond hair before it disappeared around the corner with the other Williams team member, George.
“Oh, so it’s a girl you’ve got your eyes on. You met someone?” Lizzie perked up.
She had always been interested in his dating life, and had been ever since he’d broken up with his ex. Despite the fact he’d never admit to it out loud, he appreciated her bugging and random advice. Lizzie was married to another Formula 1 driver, which he thought had to be complicated off the track. Surely getting beaten by your own partner every week would cause tension.
But he’d heard the stories, heard about their marriage. They were perhaps the most healthy couple he’d seen since… forever. So he always took in Lizzie’s advice.
“What? No. I’m on about her.” James gestured to where the blond had stood moments before, causing Lizzie’s eyebrows to perk up. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“I’m not looking at you like anything.”
“Yes, you are! You look all… coy.” He exclaimed, over-exaggerating Lizzie’s expression on his own face, grabbing a laugh out of her.
“You know her name?” She’d asked, trying to probe information out of him, trying to find a way to go about telling him that this ‘her’ was a he.
“...no.” James murmured, frustrated with the amusement that Lizzie seemed to be getting out of the situation. “Last name’s Lenney, though. I know that much. Could be Marriott if I play my cards right.”
The hope in his tone forced another laugh out of his teammate, and he shot her a glare; it resulted in a grin back from her.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. What’s so funny about this?”
“William Marriott? Could you imagine that?”
Something in James stopped working. William. William Lenney. For a moment, he tried to convince himself that this was either a joke or just… a girl with a very masculine name. Girls could be called William, right? He knew a guy called Taylor.
“...uhm. Yeah, I could. If she was nice enough.”
And if he looked past the squareness of her jaw, the broadness of her shoulders and the flat planes of her chest. Which, yeah, he could, looks weren’t everything. So what if a woman looked a little masculine? It wasn’t like she was a man.
“Right. You’ll have to speak to her, then, scope out her personality.” Lizzie had pushed, amused, and who was James to ignore her advice? It was always helpful. Hell, it had landed him a few (albeit tense, he wasn’t good with people) dates in the past.
“Right. Yeah. I will be doing that.” James nodded curtly, set on his decision entirely. A resulting nod and whispers of encouragement came from Lizzie, now behind him as he’d promptly turned on his heel to track her back down.
William. He repeated the name in his mind a few times. Lenney. William Lenney. It was a nice last name, he had to admit. LEN wasn’t that bad of a race digit identifier, really. And he hated to admit it, but it might have been better than MAR. William. Will. Will Lenney.
He was too caught up in thinking about the woman to notice that he’d approached both her and her teammate, stopping abruptly before he ran into them, just to find them both already staring at him, giving James a proper view of her face.
He briefly took in the details, not wanting to immediately overstep anything by being caught gawking, staring at her face before he’d even said a word to her. He took in the sharpness of her nose, the slight hollow underneath her eyes that had been narrowed by the furrow of her eyebrows. James quit looking after that, glancing over at George.
He and George were… okay friends. They could talk one and one and be fine, but they weren’t close. He needed an excuse to come over, needed a conversation to start so he could get to know Will.
“George.” James said, sounding just a little nicer than usual, which was picked up on immediately by the other man. “So… car okay?”
It was a Thursday, people were hanging about to chat to their crew and maybe even others, but they were also obligated to make sure their cars were fit for racing.
“Car’s.. fine.” George hesitated, sceptical. “Everything’s running fine.”
“Great. Good. Yep. Can’t have it broken before race days, right?” He chuckled, eyes darting to Will who seemed to be looking away, completely uninterested in his conversation with George.
“Yeah, that would be bad. Remember that time you lost podium because–”
George was immediately cut off. James didn’t want Will knowing about the blunders of his earlier days.
“I heard you got a new teammate.” James quickly said, drawing the new arrival’s attention. He found that he was still looking as she did looked back at him, and he diverted his eyes back to George the second they made eye contact.
George immediately realised what this whole thing was about and let out a little ‘ah’, expression not visible because he insisted on wearing his mask everywhere he went. It made him seem a little peculiar to anyone who didn’t know him, but James wasn’t one to judge.
Too hard, anyway.
“Yeah. Yeah, I did.” George turned his head to William, gesturing for his teammate to step forward and speak so George didn’t have to introduce the two himself.
James also turned and grinned like he hadn't been eyeing her up for the past half hour, and if William knew, she didn’t say anything.
“James.” The man said, sticking his hand out for a handshake, unsure if she’d take it or not. Hesitantly, she did, as if she was surveying what she thought his character was like.
“..Will. Lenney. I’ve heard… things about you.”
Something in James stopped for the second time in the past ten minutes. The sound of an unmistakably male-sounding voice hit his ears, a thick Geordie accent hitting his ears. He clenched his jaw, trying to work out his emotions and what he was feeling.
“Ah. Good things, I’d hope?” James laughed, now slightly more nervous. His voice came out strained, and his words seemed to make Will cringe.
“...they were things, alright.”
Right. James had somewhat of a reputation because of how he could come across to others. But he wasn’t that bad! He may have been cocky, might have been loud, dead-set on being the best, a little too social, a little too hostile on the track, impulsive, rash…
He then realised that… yes, Will probably thought he was a terrible, terrible person.
But it didn’t matter now that the realisation had crashed down upon him. James wouldn't ask out a man, and William Lenney was a man, with a male name and male shoulders, a male chest and feminine hair. James couldn’t possibly find him attractive after this revelation, but his eyes still tried to take in the masculine features of his face against his own will.
“..right.” He nodded curtly, dropping their hands so he could put his own in his right pocket. “Formula Two transfer. How’s that going for you?”
James didn’t know why he’d continued talking, but he’d convinced himself that it was so he could figure out just what Will was like, following Lizzie’s advice, although for a different reason. He wanted to know what he’d be up against in future, not what his personality was like.
Personality didn’t matter if you weren’t attracted to somebody, and James was trying to desperately convince himself he wasn’t attracted to Will.
“Oh, yeah, it’s going great.” Will seemed to light up a little, a grin invading his features and creasing his eyes. “It feels insane. Unreal, you know?”
James did know. He’d jumped straight up, skipped Formula Two, and had been amazed for years, unsure how he’d done it. He also now knew what Will’s smile looked like, and he glanced at George who stood there, arms crossed lazily over his chest.
“Yeah, I know. I never went into f2, went straight from three to one.”
Flexing. He couldn’t help it. He was damn proud of himself and he wanted everybody to know that he was skilled. He’d had several championship wins in his time in both three and one, which he made very, very known.
No wonder everybody thought he was a cocky, overconfident asshole.
“Oh, shit. No way? That’s sick, man!” Will’s grin widened, and James pushed down the fact that he’d kill to see that smile every day.
He had to get his head in the game. Will was a guy, so James wouldn’t, couldn’t find him attractive. In any way. He found himself smiling a little, bashful despite the fact many people had reacted the exact same way.
“Ah.. yeah. Thanks. Pure luck, I think.” James chuckled. Nothing about his skill, how he was better than everybody in Formula Two, nothing. Just a lighthearted joke. He mentally berated himself.
It wasn’t that James didn’t like gay people, the community. Hell, he had gay friends, he had no problem with gay people. It just wasn’t him. It could never be him, he’d figured that out when he was a kid and bullied relentlessly just for saying a few things, getting too close to a friend, being a person with girlish interests.
Not just at school, but at home. Snide comments, teases, speculations. He’d pushed everything down at age fifteen, and here he was, thinking about how he didn’t find another man attractive at twenty six years old.
Their conversation had continued for another short while, and James walked away with his head down and had a very angry word with his teammate, asking her why she hadn’t told him Will was a guy, complaining and more.
He’d built up a one-sided dislike for the other for a while, which confused Will. Will had thought that their conversation was great, thought that James was maybe just a little attractive, too. He thought they hit it off, thought they could be close friends afterwards.
And then James had just done a complete 180 on him and given him the cold shoulder. The demeaning comments, snide remarks, sly grins and a lot of hassle on the racetrack started just a week after they first spoke
It stopped being one-sided when Will realised he wouldn’t be able to snap James out of it anytime, and considering the things he’d been told by not just his teammate but Racing Bull’s Jack and Ferrari's Max, James would never snap out of it. The man had built up a hatred for all things Redbull Racing ever since his Formula Three days (Will understood, however, Tommy and Morgan were a handful). Apparently, he hadn’t let it go, even when they switched out Freddie for Tommy.
They became rivals, and it was well-known between fans and other racers.
But that never stopped Lizzie’s teasing, and James began growing frustrated by it because he wasn’t gay and he could never be gay; it was just a slip-up, stuff happened. He never took it out on her, though, never could bring himself to. She didn’t know about James’ own internal struggle and the reason he was so hostile towards Will. Lizzie had assumed it had just been sheer embarrassment, and in a way, it had been… for the first week or so.
Will, despite being confused (and maybe even mildly upset), adapted pretty well to the changes after a lot of reassurance that James was ‘just like this’ with everybody he seemed to interact with. He showed the same hostility back, the same comments, sneers, and the over-competitiveness.
He made friends after the first conversation with James, having a few mutual friends with the man but they all knew not to hang out with the two of them at the same time. He figured out what everyone was like after a little bit and he began settling in surprisingly well.
And all of that never failed to make James either agitated or more ignorant towards him.