Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was mid-morning, two or so weeks after the timeline had been fixed after Time’s End. Mustache Girl had mostly been moping around her cave that whole time. After all, if she couldn’t save her island, even with all the power in the universe at her fingertips, what could she even do?

Well, it seemed in those two weeks, she had hatched another plan. This plan had a different approach than before, relying on wit instead of violence… and, it required her to save up for ferry and train fare.

The ferry was just to take her to the mainland- while the seals were largely incompetent, they managed to get her to her destination with minimal delay.

Now, onto her second means of transportation, the train. She wasn’t quite sure how Conductor would react to her presence- after all, she had tried to kill him only two weeks prior.

Steeling her resolve, she went up to talk to him on the platform closest to the ferry to Calcite City (The Mafia would have to kill her before she’d ever willingly call her island Mafia Town), hoping he’d be able to take her to her destination.

“Hullo, lass! What can I do for yeh?” The Conductor gave her his usual greeting for girls her age, likely because he was simply trying to remain professional and polite while at work.

“One ticket to Subcon, please!”

Mu presented the bird with a large handful of pons.

… The Conductor chuckled slightly, tugging at his collar to subtly indicate his discomfort.

“Ah, heheh… Lass, the train doesnae go there. Is there anywhere else I can take yeh?”

“Liar! I’ve seen the tracks there myself! I know they’re there, and I know they still work! ” Mu yelled, her distaste for moral wrong slightly tainting her words.

The Conductor merely coughed in an attempt to refocus her attention.

“…Lassie, let me rephrase. The train doesnae go there, anymore. ”

“And why not?!”

He turned his head slightly, looking towards the train.

“Look, I cannae tell yeh the whole story, since it’s not mine ta tell. But , I can tell yeh at the very least, it’s nae a place for little girls. ”

“Wh-“ Mu stomped her foot on the ground. “I’m not just some little girl, thank you very much! I can handle myself!”

“Lass…” Conductor’s voice sported a tired gravel, one that rarely showed up when he was on the clock. “It doesnae matter how strong yeh are. It’s full of the dead. Specifically, dead people that dinnae like livin’ people leavin’. Seen it happen meself, too many times ta count. I’m nae lettin’ yeh go there alone.”

“Oh…” Mu frowned, “But I’ve got to go there! It’s my best chance to fix what I did!”

Conductor sighed.

“I cannae talk yeh out of this, can I?”

Mu shook her head.

“Alright,” he continued, “I’ll… take yeh as close as the train goes. It’s a few miles walk from there. And, for the sake of yer safety and my sanity, if yeh see snow, walk in the other direction.”

“Yesss!” Mu cheered, passing him her pons as he fished for the right ticket in his book.

The train ride was comfortable, lasting a few hours as the different biomes on their planet faded into each other. It went from the sand of the tropics to the sand of the desert, where eventually more and more rocks showed up, and then the train went north, where the humidity was high enough that the windows fogged up, and slowly more mulch and foliage and greenery started appearing, transitioning slowly into the giant trees that Subcon was famous for. Unfortunately, those giant trees were still in the distance before the train stopped.

“Lassie?” Conductor called out from the front of the train car, scanning the seats for Mu’s red hood. “This is yer stop.”

“Oh, is it? Alright, I guess I’ll be leaving then.” Mu hopped out of her seat and approached the front of the car. “Thanks for the ride.”

Conductor gave her a little wave as she made her way onto the ground.

At the very least, there was a path for her to follow. Off to walking, she supposed.

The walk to Subcon took about another hour. Luckily, her years of evading the Mafia had left her rather limber, so she wasn’t really tired by the time she got there. She’d been questioning when exactly all the trees around her would count as Subcon proper, but her question was answered when she ran face-first into what looked like a giant, shimmery wall, just as intangible as the ones that surrounded those weird hourglasses. All of a sudden her surroundings grew dark, and the fog from the humidity around her turned into an odd, purple haze.

There was some movement in the bushes.

“HELLO? Who’s there?” 

Mu readied a fighting stance, but all she saw was something scurrying away from her.

“Wait- no! Come back! I just want to figure out what just happened!”

She chased after the motion, and before she knew it, she’d strayed from the path.

Uh oh.

A murky swamp she hadn’t seen before babbled playfully to her left, but upon closer inspection it seemed as if the souls of the damned were actually the ones making that sound, trying to lure her closer so they could drag her in and assimilate her soul into the wine-dark depths.

She stepped away from it, slightly.

To her right was a field of graves. After looking at the swamp, she was rightfully afraid they’d also try to grab her and drag her down, so she ran straight ahead, trying to find any landmarks she recognized. That said… She’d only been to Subcon once before, very briefly. It was unlikely she’d recognize anything around h- Oh look! A path! It seemed to be the same sort of path as had appeared in front of her the first time she’d arrived in Subcon.

She followed it, as people generally did when they found paths in the woods, and almost found surroundings she recognized- There was a giant tree in the middle of a pond, surrounded by mushrooms, and that was all she could see before she tripped.

Suddenly, the ground lifted up from beneath her, drawing a tarp’s corners into a neat little bundle where she thrashed and writhed like a butterfly in a spider’s web.

“LET GO OF ME, YOU PSYCHO!” she cried, though she was unsure if anyone would actually hear her at whatever elevation she was at now.

And then she fell.

Instead of the forest surrounding her, there was now a swirling abyss- though it was just as purple as ever. She thought she could even see people’s souls in the distance if she squinted far enough, similar to how she could see them in the swamp.

Her rumination came to an abrupt halt, however, as a booming voice signaled the arrival of a figure, much like a strike of lightning at midnight signaled the arrival of a thunderstorm.

“FOOOOOOOOOOO-“ The figure began coughing. “Sorry, just, um, give me a second. My voice has been really overworked lately.”

…The figure summoned a cup of herbal tea to soothe his voice.

He also happened to be the one Mustache Girl was looking for- The Snatcher of Subcon.

“Where was I? Ah yes. FOOOOOOOOOOOOL! Oh, forget it, I’ve lost the element of surprise.”  The ghost squinted at the little girl in front of him. “Why are you here ? I just fixed that trap. I sincerely hope you’re not here to keep trying to do that whole justice thing.”

“Well, er, about that… ”

“Great, because my day couldn’t be going any worse already. Look. Kid. I’m already dead, lava isn’t going to do anything.”

“ That’s not actually why I’m here.”

Mustache Girl fidgeted with her cape slightly, almost hiding behind it.

“ Really? Well go ahead then, I may as well entertain you for a few seconds before popping your head off.”

“…You’re a lawyer, right?”

Snatcher’s air of haughtiness quickly dissipated, though it was soon replaced by a sharklike glint in his eyes.

“Yes… I am. Why, is someone trying to sue you?”

“No- But I had a thought, after I landed back home. If I’m going to restore justice, I may as well do it properly. So, since you’re the only lawyer I know, I thought I’d at least ask. How do I become a judge?”

Snatcher outright started laughing at that, before quickly realizing that his voice hurt and he should probably drink more tea before it got worse.

“ You? Study law? You’re like ten!”

“I’m twelve! ”

“Close enough!”

Mu pouted slightly, but let him continue.

“Look, kid, before you become a judge, you’re going to have to become a lawyer. And let me tell you , that is a lot of gruelling work. More than a kid like yourself would be able to handle.”

“Oh yeah? I’ve fought the Mafia one on one before, this’ll be nothing!”

Snatcher stifled another laugh before summoning a few things.

First, naturally, was a contract.

Second, was a large stack of paperwork.

The third item was a large, heavy tome, almost as big as Mustache Girl herself, labelled “THE RULES OF INTERSTELLAR CIVIL PROCEDURE” in a fancy gold font.

“Okay, prove yourself as worthy then, and I might consider taking you on as an apprentice. The contract’s just to make sure all the work you do for me counts as my work. …Which also means I’m legally liable if you screw up, so don’t do that. ”

“Wait, work? ”

“Paperwork, you fool! That’s like 90% of a lawyer’s job! I mean, normally they have paralegals and stuff running around so they don’t have to do everything themselves, but I already tried that with my minions and they all have terrible handwriting.”

“Oh…” This job seemed far less interesting than she’d hoped it’d be all of a sudden.

“Don’t give me that look. If I survived five years of law school, so can you,” he paused, before adding, “…To be clear, I died after I graduated. And not because of it. …Though, with the way some of my assignments were…” Snatcher shook his head. “…Okay, don’t worry about it is my point.”

“…You don’t beat up bad guys in the legal profession...?” Mu said, disappointment evident in her voice.

“No, we don’t. What are they teaching kids in school these days?”

Mu fidgeted with her cape.

“I, er. I haven’t been to school since I was eight.”

“WHAT?!”

“It’s because of the stupid mafia! They kicked out all the teachers!”

Snatcher sighed, the realization dawning on him that he was now semi-responsible for two children that he honestly wanted nothing to do with.

“Okay, I’ll see if I can… I dunno, find you a tutor or something to catch you up to speed. Come back here on weekends, do that paperwork, and I guess I’ll fund your “further education” at the expense of my “firm”… Just don’t be annoying about it or I’ll cut you off.”

A few more pages suddenly appeared at the back of the contract.

“Really? Can you even find tutors here?”

“I’m making no promises about keeping you on planet. Also, you’ll need to fix those manners of yours.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my bloody manners!”

Snatcher sighed again. “Look, kid, in law presentation is half the battle. No judge is going to take you seriously if you’re acting like a bratty child the whole time. I get you’re twelve , but you’re gonna have to pick up a book or something to figure out how to make a convincing argument.”

Mu crossed her arms. “Fine, I guess you have a point.”

“Now, will you sign that thing already so I can get those papers sorted?!”

Mu picked up the quill and moved to do so.

Chapter Text

The little girl confidently ran up to the train station in search of the bird working there.

“One ticket to Cactus Depot, please!”

“Lassie!” Conductor exclaimed with a smile, “Yer alive! Yeh made it out okay!”

“Yep, and I’m going back there today. Got any tickets left?”

The corners of Conductor’s mouth pulled into a slight frown. “Lass, yeh didnae sign away yer soul, now did yeh?”

“No, but I have a job now!”

“Why’s that peckneck always hirin’ kids, anyway?”

“I dunno, but I get free school out of it apparently, so I don’t mind.”

“Really? Why the peck would he do something like that?! ”

“I told him I wanted to work in law.”

Conductor sighed. “Of course yeh did. Well, it doesnae seem like yer in danger , so that’s good.” He drummed his claws on his pocketwatch slightly. “ But. If he ever does anything to hurt yeh, just let me know and I’ll deal with it meself. Got that?”

Mu nodded, handing over her pons.

“Oh, before I put this in my pocket, how much extra would it be to get lunch on the ride over?”

“Oh, yeh don’t pay fer that here. Just wait for the lad with the trolley to come out and yeh can give ‘im yer pons then. It’s usually, eh, about 12 fer a sandwich…” Conductor used his claws to count, “add a few if yeh want a drink, so 15…”

Mu’s face fell. That was a little over her budget, especially considering she was 12 and using a piggy bank to save up for the train.

“…Tell yeh what,” Conductor continued, picking up on her expression, “Since yer a wee lass, and a student to boot, I’ll throw it in with the train fare.”

“Really?” Mu looked as if Conductor had just presented her with a precious gift.

“ ‘Course! It’s only a sandwich, after all. It’d be no trouble ta just give yeh one on the house.”

Once the trolley made its way down the aisle, Mu was presented with a few types of sandwiches to choose from. They weren’t really anything special, though… Mostly birdseed and fish, although they did have a few cheese sandwiches for sale too. Eventually, she chose an apple and brie sandwich, which, most importantly, did not have fish in it. (It was one of the few foods she could get for free back home, and so she was sick of it.) As well as that, she chose a strawberry lemonade for her drink. It’d been at least four years since she’d had such a fancy meal, so she did her best to savour it as she looked out the tiny window of the train car… although, she didn’t realize how hungry she actually was and so the sandwich was gone in a matter of seconds. 

Oh well, at least she still had her lemonade.

When she eventually made it back to Subcon proper, one of the short, masked…guys (she didn’t actually know what they were) was standing by the magic barrier, waiting for her approach.

“…Hello? Can I help you?”

“Boss said he didn’t want you getting lost again, so I’m here to help you get to his office without falling on your face like last time.”

“Seriously?! I’m not a toddler!”

Mu screamed into the depths of the forest’s fog.

“I’d, uh… be careful with that if I were you.”

The masked figure could barely hide the fact they were shaking.

“…It’s just, you sound really scary when you yell.”

“Well, isn’t that your guys’s whole deal?”

“…Not necessarily. I mean scary in a way Boss won’t like.”

“Oh… Alright then.”

The two of them began walking toward the tree at the centre of the magic bubble, the one she’d seen before both times she’d been in Subcon beforehand.

Snatcher sat comfortably on the inside, curled up in his armchair with a book that appeared to be about apprenticeship regulations. He barely looked up when Mu entered the building, simply giving his minion a thumbs up to dismiss them.

“…So you’re back. You’re really intent on doing this, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am! I’m determined to bring justice, no matter what!”

Snatcher barely concealed a tired groan, already about at his limit for dealing with children for the day.

“Okay, just… take those papers out from the cabinet- they’re in files already- and all I want you to do is put them in hardcover binders. That’s it for now, the binders are on the table.”

Mu walked over to the stack of papers, squinting at them slightly.

“…What are these?”

“Minute books. There are a lot of corporations on this planet, and somehow I ended up being the one who has to keep track of everyone’s recordkeeping. Luckily, that means that most of the time it’s not an issue if anyone wants to do a merger, but it’s still a lot of history.”

“…Are the corporations bad guys? Are we doing this to punish them?”

Snatcher closed his book.

“… Kind of..? Look, kid, sometimes the law is less about punishing people and more about making sure they’re going about their business properly. Luckily, this planet only has a handful of businesses to worry about, but it still saves everyone a headache to make sure they’ve got all their paperwork handy in case something does come up.”

“Oh… But that’s so boring! ”

“I once took a few months off and it led to the Mafia/Nyakuza schism since they couldn’t figure out who owned what.”

“Seriously? Aren’t there any other lawyers who could’ve handled it?”

“Nope!” Snatcher answered cheerfully, though there was a smidgen of pain behind his smile. “I’m the only lawyer on this entire planet. Honestly, it’s better this way, since I don’t have to worry about other people not doing their jobs. Speaking of, are you going to do yours? Or are you just going to keep asking me questions?”

“Ugh, fine.”

“Oh, also. If you see anything that looks off, let me know about it. There’s nothing I hate more than mistakes just running around freely. ”

Mu then set off to get through the stack of paperwork to the best of her ability, skimming each minute book as thoroughly as she could… which admittedly wasn’t very, as the books, especially the very old ones, had such thick legalese and flowery handwriting that it took her several minutes to get through a page. She squinted at the signature. It looked familiar, especially since it was the same one for years upon years, always over the "Commissioner (or as may be)” line. Until, one day, it suddenly stopped, replaced entirely by a purple seal. She looked back at Snatcher, who was decidedly happy reading his book, and decided it’d probably be worth it to ask.

“Hey, I have a question.”

Snatcher scowled, briefly, but still looked up from the page he was on.

“What is it, kid?”

“I can’t read this.”

“Oh, for h- fine, give me a second.”

Snatcher stretched his ghostly form by about a meter, giving him a long enough neck to read what Mu was asking about while letting the rest of his ghostly form sit comfortably in his armchair.

Mu pointed to the signature in question.

“Oh, that? That’s not important.”

“But it just stops one day.”

“Yeah, because the guy who signed it died. ”

“Oh. Did you know him?”

“Of course. There weren’t ever that many lawyers here, and most lawyers know each other if they’re in the same network.”

“But what does it say?”

“His name. It’s a signature.”

“But what’s his name?”

“Like I told you, his name isn’t important. Just know he’s a dead guy that probably doesn’t want us talking about him at length.”

“Why not?”

“Because I said so.”

“That’s not a reason.”

Snatcher went back to his book, unwilling to discuss the subject further.

Mu continued with the minute books, sorting them into the hardcover binders like she’d been asked, until another thing caught her eye.

“Alfredo Pesci’s Pastaria & Theater Ltd.” was the name of the business. She’d been there countless times before, looked at the plans of the building even more than that- If there was something wrong with the business, that could be her golden ticket to finally kick the Mafia out of Calcite City! 

As she turned page after page, looked at all the minutes to make sure nothing was out of place, her face fell as she discovered that everything was accounted for.

But then, she turned a page to see the real estate conveyance of the business. It had been a school before the Mafia blasted it into the sky, and she knew the grounds like the back of her hand. They’d actually made her, and her fellow students, measure the perimeter of the lot for a school assignment when she was younger. Though the Mafia Boss had made renovations, it shouldn’t have impacted the perimeter of the lot, should it?

“I found something!” Mu yelled, nearly causing Snatcher to drop his book out of shock.

“What is it now, kid?”

“These measurements seem off. I’ve lived in Calcite City my whole life and that lot’s always been a square, not a rectangle.”

He actually got out of his seat that time, trailing over to the minute book to examine it closer.

“Well, these were the measurements they gave me when they bought the property. It won’t cause us any trouble now, but we should probably get it resurveyed just in case they try to sell it again. But let me ask you this, because if you’re wrong I’m taking it out of your paycheque. Are you absolutely sure there’s a discrepancy in this lot description?”

”What’s a discrepancy?”

“Something is wrong with it.”

“Oh! Then definitely, I know Calcite City like the back of my hand.”

When the workday concluded, Mu made her way back to the train station to wait, snacking on a few berries she’d foraged from the forest as she did.

Conductor waved to her as the train pulled into the station.

“Hullo, lassie! How was work today?”

She hopped up onto the train, showing him her return ticket as a mere formality.

“It was great! I sorted a bunch of files out, and even found out that the Maf-“

Before she could finish her sentence, her hand moved to cover her mouth. She pulled to remove it.

“I said, I found out that the Mafia-“

Her hand slammed over her mouth again, more insistently this time. Tiny blue strings shimmered around her wrist, “NDA” gracefully woven into them as a reminder. She grumbled with indignance. 

“Er, lass,” Conductor tilted his head slightly, trying to puzzle out what had happened to her. “If yeh signed something to say you willnae talk about somethin’, maybe it’s best to… yeh know… nae talk about it?”

“But I want to!” Mu pleaded.

“That may be so, but breaking a contract’s nae an easy feat, even for someone my age. I’d recommend yeh just go along with it fer now so yeh don’t end up with yer hand clamped over yer mouth permanently.”

“But- I- Awww…” Mu looked at the floor, her mustache drooping slightly.

“It’s okay, lassie. I’m certain there’s things yeh can tell me that aren’t confidential. Yeh just have to figure out how to word them. Now get back teh yer seat, I wouldnae want yeh to catch a cold from being out here at night.”

“But won’t you be cold too?”

“Nah, I have me ways o’ stayin’ warm. The wool suit helps, fer one.”

“Oh, okay then.”

Mu made her way back to her seat and relaxed, ready for the journey home.

While she had the time, and while she had a pen and paper, she started writing a letter to slip under the door of the locked observatory by the time she got back to Calcite City.

Chapter Text

When Mu showed up to the tree the next time, Snatcher was already waiting for her, hands clasped together like they normally were when he was giving assignments to people. She could barely squeeze a greeting in before he spoke to her.

“Kid, today we have a very special job to do. We’re going on a field trip!”

“Oh?” she perked up, “Where to?”

“I thought you were smarter than that, considering that you’re the entire reason we’re leaving the forest today.”

“What? But I already paid for train fare!”

“Who said anything about the train? We’re travelling in style!”

All of a sudden the two were surrounded by Snatcher’s minions, who had brought a strange, boxlike thing with them that had two seats inside it- One larger, and one smaller, although the smaller one looked like it had been converted from a footstool rather recently. Snatcher didn’t even hesitate before diving into the ground and popping right back up inside the palanquin. 

“What are you waiting for, get in already!”

A few of his minions crouched down in the front so that Mu could use them as a footstool. Mu just doublejumped over them to avoid the risk of hurting anyone. Then, the curtains in the front closed, with only the motion of the palanquin and the rhythmic “Hup! Hup! Hup!”s of the minions below giving them any indication that they were moving.

Mu sat down on the stool next to Snatcher, who had already gotten comfortable, reclining with his arms behind his head on the plush lining on the palanquin’s main seat.

“…Do you always travel like this?”

He barely glanced at her.

“Not always. Just when it makes a good entrance.”

“Why would this make a good entrance?”

“It lets the Mafia know we’re in town.”

“If they know we’re in town won’t they attack us?”

“Not if they know what’s good for them.”

“What? But they attack people all the time!”

He actually turned to look at her, thinking slightly.

“You do have a point…”

He snapped his fingers to give her a new outfit: a t-shirt dress and purple hood with “If lost, return to The Snatcher” printed in the front in white impact font. 

“There, now they know you’re with me.”

Mu just frowned, looking down at her new clothes.

“…What? What are these?! Where did my old  clothes go?!”

“I magically altered them. With magic,” he shrugged.

“What?! You mean I can’t get my old clothes back?!?!”

“Well, if you can’t counterspell the alterations, then not really. But look on the bright side, kid! Now people know you work for me!”

Mu didn’t see a bright side to this situation at all. In fact, she stood up from the stool in the palanquin to curl up in a ball in the corner, lightly sobbing to herself.

Snatcher was simply perplexed. Normally, when people cried in front of him it was due to him actively tormenting them. In this situation, he was actually trying to do this annoying little girl a favour. Why was she crying?!

“…I don’t understand. Why is this such a big deal?” He said to her as softly as possible, brushing off his “actually acting like a person” skills rather than just bossing people around, as he doubted his usual methods of getting through to people would work in this situation. “If you hate the altered clothes so much, can’t you just… pop home and get another pair? Don’t you live in Calcite?”

“I, I don’t have another pair!” Mu said through heavy sobs. “My parents gave me that hood, I don’t even have another one!”

“Can’t you just ask them to buy you another one?”

“THEY’RE DEAD!” Mu screamed at him.

All of a sudden, he backed off. Snatcher finally realized he was out of his depth, and, despite how it pained him to be bossed around by yet another child, he dispelled the enchantment he’d put on her clothes, simply using his magic to summon a separate hood and robes for her to wear that were similar enough to his minions’ clothes that there was no way anyone could deny she was working for him.

“For the record, throwing a tantrum is not going to work on me next time. But fine, here are separate clothes if you insist,” he said, rolling his eyes as obviously as he could without defined facial features.

Mu took the robes and threw them on over her regular clothes.

“…They’re warm.”

“What do you expect? The forest is cold, even in the bit of it that’s on fire.”

“…I don’t know, I’m just not used to it.”

“Warm clothes, or wearing something other than your usual outfit?”

“Both.”

The two sat in silence for the rest of the ride. Snatcher didn’t want to bring up anything else in case he accidentally made things worse, and Mu wasn’t even sure if she should be having casual conversation with her boss.

Eventually, the curtains opened, and they were on the beach.

“We’re here, kid!”

Snatcher wasted no time in diving back into the ground to exit the palanquin, as Mu gingerly hopped onto the warm beach sand.

When she saw him next, Snatcher was clad in a floral shirt with wide sleeves that was somehow tucked into his nonexistent waistband. She supposed that he just wanted in on the costume changes as well.

“So what do we do now?” Mu asked.

“We,” Snatcher grinned at her, before shielding his eyes from the sun. “Oh heck that’s bright. We wait now, that’s what we do. My minions will take the actual measurements, and we can sit here and relax.”

“We’re… not going to do any work?”

Snatcher summoned a reclining chair and a pair of sunglasses before looking at Mu.

“Well, you can, if you’re so inclined. I’m going to work on my tan.”

“Fine then, I have a letter to deliver anyway!”

Snatcher shrugged at her, letting her know that that letter was her business and not his, before flipping down his sunglasses and closing his eyes to bask in the warmth that Subcon lacked.

Mu ran up to the observatory, using the stairs around its base to reach the entrance without alerting the Mafia. She knocked on the door a few times, before sliding her letter underneath the crack at the bottom.

The door opened by a few inches, where a deep blue eye looked her over for a few seconds, checking she wasn’t part of the Mafia. A sigh of relief was heard from behind the door, and it opened up. Mu stepped inside, knowing it was safe there.

“You’re not working on anything today? I know you’re pretty busy with your inventions, so that’s why I wrote a letter.”

A tall, mustached man in a red vest smiled at her with nothing but warmth, despite how he shook like a small dog at the sound of the door.

“I told you, you’re always welcome in my workshop. I hope those brutes outside haven’t been giving you too much trouble…”

She shook her head, pulling her cape’s hood out from under the robes Snatcher had given her.

“Actually, I found a way to get ‘em back! I-“ The blue strings around her wrist gleamed menacingly as she spoke. “I got a job!”

“A job?!” The man took his hat off and fanned himself with its brim, before nearly collapsing into his work chair. “Mu, please tell me it ain’t with the Mafia. I don’t think I’d be able to take it if this city’s last beacon o’ hope suddenly gave up.”

Mu put her hands on her hips in mock offense. 

“I would never! How dare you suggest such a thing!”

“Well then, little missy, you’d best tell me who you’re workin’ for before I start worryin’ about ya!”

“Well, first I’m going to need you to not freak out, Thor.”

He crossed his arms and planted his feet on the floor.

“Done and done,” he said, with about as much confidence as someone about to go skydiving for the first time.

Mu didn’t really believe that, but she continued on anyway.

“So, my plan to bring justice failed, and I decided to try again by becoming a judge, except there’s only one lawyer on this planet who can train me because apparently I have to be a lawyer before I can be a judge, so now I have an apprenticeship!”

Thor sat in silence for a few seconds, taking time to breathe deeply and collect himself, before he stood up and started shouting.

“YOU SOLD YOUR SOUL TO THE SNATCHER?!?! WHY?????”

Mu stared blankly at him.

“Okay, first off, I did not sell him my soul, it’s still with me. And secondly, I just told you why.”

Thor rested his head on his workbench, trembling slightly.

“Mu, what happens if he decides to kill you on a whim? That’s worse than the Mafia! You’d be- you’d be dead, and, I dunno…”

“Thor, listen to me. I’m not going to die. I’m very useful, I’m going to be a lawyer, and apparently if he’s training me there are regulations that say he’s not allowed to kill me if he wants to keep his law license. I will be just fine.”

He lifted his head up to look at her.

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

“Might as well give you this now, then.”

He sighed, before sitting back up. He searched through a few of his inventions, before handing one to her that looked like a steampunk brick.

“What is it?” She asked.

“It’s just a little somethin’ I invented. You pop that little blue button there, and it sets up a little teleportation point that I can step through if you need me to help. It also works as a cellphone, if you just need to talk to me. You can press the [B] button on your keyboard to access its interface.”

She tilted her head slightly, unsure what that meant, but just went along with it. At this point, it was just the kind of weirdness she’d come to expect from Thor.

“I’ll, er, keep that in mind. Thanks.”

She pocketed the device.

“Any time, little miss,” he said, giving her hair a gentle ruffle.

Their peace was interrupted by Snatcher climbing through the floor. 

Thor shrieked like he’d just seen a mouse, and hid under his desk.

“…Relax, I’m not killing you today,” he said to the terrified man, who was actually whimpering slightly from within the little ball he’d curled up into. “I’m just here to pick my apprentice up because my minions are done with the land survey.”

Thor tried to crawl out from under his desk but just ended up bonking his head on the underside.

“Ow!”

“Oh, we’re leaving?” Mu asked Snatcher.

“Well, I do have a meeting with Pesci in like ten or so minutes that I think it might be in your best interest to sit in on, but if you want to keep hanging out with… him, instead of being productive, be my guest.”

“No, that’s fine, I was just about to say goodbye anyway.”

“Well, okay, but keep the goodbye short so that we’re not late.”

“Goodbye, I’ll talk to you some other time, I guess,” she said to Thor, a little bit regretful that she’d have to leave so soon after he embarrassed himself in front of one of the most powerful beings on the planet.

“See ya, little miss,” he said in turn, miming a cellphone with his offhand to remind her about the device he’d given her.

Snatcher ushered her out the door.

Once they were outside, he squinted at the starry exterior of the building.

“Huh. I always wondered what the inside of that building looked like. I guess I don’t have to anymore.”

Mu looked at him as the two went over to the cannon to get to the theater. 

“You’ve really never been inside?”

“Well, no. I had my own telescope, I didn’t need to use a public one.”

“What happened to it? I didn’t see it in your office.”

“It broke,” he shrugged, “Plus, I have no use for it anymore. Who even wants to look at the moon all day? Other than complete lunatics…”

He noticed that Mu was looking at him funny and quickly shut up.

“Forget I said any of that.”

She nodded, though the enchantment on her would have prevented her from talking about it anyway.

Once they made it to the theater, the Mafia guards stepped aside to let them in, despite how much Mu thought they were glaring at her. She supposed they were only holding back on their boss’s orders.

They were led to an area on the second floor with a large table. Mu assumed it was normally used for conferences. Snatcher changed outfits yet again to something that vaguely resembled a suit during everyone else’s walk. Eventually, the two sat down on one end of the table, with a handful of Snatcher’s regular minions behind them, while three regular Mafia sat at the other end, with an equally sized handful of extra Mafia behind them. The middle one swiveled around to reveal a mustachioed jar in his arms.

“So,” he started, “There is something about my property you wish to tell…” His eyes shifted in the jar to get a better look at Mu. “Why is the little mustached girl here?”

“She’s my apprentice now,” Snatcher smiled, “She’s here strictly on business, to see how one of these meetings goes. That’s all.”

The jar hmphed, but went along with it despite his distaste.

“I see. Well, let us make this quick, then. What is the issue with my property?”

“It, quite plainly…” Snatcher signaled to his minions, who laid a plan of subdivision out on the table for the Mafia to look at. “-is a square. We need to implement a new set of bylaws on this plan of subdivision if you’re going to keep the land disconnected from the rest of the island like this.”

“I see… and how much will this cost me?”

“In pons, or in blood sacrifices? I take either.”

“Pons, if you please,” the jar said, his eyes sinking to the bottom of the liquid they were suspended in.

“Oh, well, with the legal fees included… That’d be an even 600. Plus disbursements, of course.”

“Of course.” 

The Mafia holding the jar moved it so it looked like the Boss was nodding.

“Well, then, that’s settled, since you’re effectively the mayor of Cal- Mafia Town, so I don’t exactly need to get the municipality’s permission. Now, onto our next order of business…”

He folded his hands and put them on the table, like an experienced gambler raising their bet.

“You two. You need to work things out before it impacts my work. It already has, to a degree, and I do not want to put up with either of you whining about each other the next time I have business here. Got it?”

He looked between Mu and the jar.

Neither of them had seen Snatcher this serious before. Usually, he was rather jovial, if his lax attitude regarding death was ignored.

“…I understand,” the jar spoke up first, “If the little girl simply stops causing trouble for the Mafia, the Mafia will stop causing trouble for her.”

“You were the one who started it, you imbecile!”

Mu stood up from her chair, yelling and pointing at him from across the table.

Snatcher gave her a side-eye before muttering something only she could hear.

“Kid, shut up before you hurt your case.”

Surprisingly, she actually did as asked, nearly falling back into her chair as she sat back down.

“Anyways,” the ghost continued, “Since you’re the one in charge of this island, that makes you legally liable for the wellbeing of its inhabitants. Including its children. It has come to my attention that your… social services have been lacking, to say the least. While I’m choosing to be merciful for now and give you an opportunity to resolve these problems before I take any action, I expect to see improvement in this area by the end of the month. If you fail to meet my expectations…”

He set off one of his geysers behind the Mafia.

“Well, let’s just say you won’t get an opportunity to pay in pons.”

“What are your expectations?!” questioned the jar, who thought this sounded less like well-meaning concerns and more like a list of demands.

Snatcher summoned a scroll which he promptly unraveled.

“Firstly, there is no education system on this island, which presents problems when its inhabitants are trying to get a job that requires advanced education.”

“But if they join the Mafia-“ the jar started.

“Don’t interrupt me, Pesci.” Snatcher glared at him, before continuing on.

“Find a tutor at the very least, and designate a schoolhouse building. Secondly, you are aware that there is a significant unhoused population on your island?”

“The little girl has not earned her place in the Mafia. So, she must either join, or leave.”

Snatcher raised an eyebrow as Mu’s fists trembled with anger from her seat.

“I ignored your hostile takeover of this island a few years ago because your plight of wanting to escape your father resonated with me on a personal level. As it stands right now, you’ve not done anything a reasonably prudent leader would do, not to mention you’ve been evicting and terrorizing this island’s native inhabitants. I might just be inclined to review some of my previous documents regarding the land transfers here…” he mused, calmly looking over where his nails would be if he were still alive.

“No, please! I can’t go back!” said the jar.

Snatcher looked at him coldly.

“I’ve given you an ultimatum, Pesci. It’s up to you to decide what to do with it.”

He slid the list over to the other side of the table.

“Now,” he said, getting up from his chair, “I’m going to leave the room to type up the minutes of this conversation. It will be up to you two to sort things out while I’m gone. I have instructed my minions to restrain the both of you if you attempt to harm each other in that time. Understand?”

“Capisce,” said the jar, who was not too happy about the whole situation.

Mu just gave him a curt nod.

“Good,” the ghost said before vanishing.

Mu glowered at the jar from across the table.

“I still haven’t forgiven you, you know.”

“Good,” replied the jar, “because I have not yet forgiven you, either.”

“I wouldn’t have tried to change time if you’d never shown up here in the first place!”

“I would not expect a child such as you to understand,” the jar said, moving his eyes to the side to look away from her in what limited capacity he could.

“Understand what? That you hated your parents so much that you took it out on mine?!”

That gave him pause. If the Mafia Boss had lungs, he’d be taking a deep breath right now.

“That is not why I came here.”

“Then why?! Did you get sick and tired of bossing people around back home and go look for more people to boss around?! Cod, you’ve got to be the most selfish, careless, bossy-“

“BAMBINA, PLEASE,” he interrupted her ranting with a volume so loud it caused ripples to form on the surface of the liquid in the jar, “give me a chance to explain.”

“And why should I?! You barely even gave me a chance to explain myself before kicking my parents into the ocean and destroying my home!”

She could feel tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

“My home was destroyed too!”

“…What?” She stared at him with a skeptical grimace.

“We were being worked to death to keep the city alive, under my father’s tyrannical hand. Eventually, the drinkable water dried up, and so everyone was forced to work long hours in a fish cannery to afford the bottled kind from out of town. A good friend of mine, Frederick, was one of the first casualties. I’ll never forget the day that boiler exploded, all because my father only cared about power.”

“Wooooow,” Mu rolled her eyes. “What a sob story. And you just ran away from your problems?”

“I killed him, actually,” the jar huffed, “and left with everyone I could fit onto a boat to find somewhere habitable.“

“And you couldn’t find anywhere other than Calcite City?!”

“Well, no. I do not know if you have checked a map lately, little girl, but this planet is not exactly large, and most of it is uninhabitable because of the giant freeze that happened almost a century ago.”

“Then leave the planet! Get lost, even!”

“With what airships?! We had no funds of our own!”

Mu grumbled. She had no real solution here, and she was still mad at the Mafia, but had run out of rebuttals she felt made the conversation move forward.

“I still don’t like you, and I don’t see why you had to kill and evict people when you came here.”

The jar was silent.

Mu decided to follow suit.

Eventually, Snatcher returned with two scrolls, briefly smiling at the fact that the two hadn’t torn each other apart while he was gone.

“Here’s your copy,” he said, sliding one of the scrolls over to the Mafia’s side of the table, before looking down at Mu and her sour mood.

“Okay kid, we’re leaving.”

She nodded and hopped up from her seat with a huff, before moving to follow Snatcher, who was on his way out the door.

The second they were out of the building, Snatcher unfurled the second scroll.

“Heck,” he said under his breath, as he read its contents.

“What’s the matter?” Mu looked up at him.

“Because I’ve registered you as an apprentice, the ISLS has decided to send an inspector here to meet you- it’s for their “fitness of character” test or whatever.”

“Why is that a problem?!” Mu tilted her head.

“Kid,” Snatcher closed the scroll and looked at her, genuine fear in his eyes.

“They don’t know I’m DEAD.”

Chapter Text

Mu sat in the chair in Snatcher’s office as he flew around the ceiling of the room in the same way an average person would pace back and forth.

“Okay, this is fine. It’s fine! The ISLS usually gives me plenty of notice before they stop in to renew my license and audit my paperwork, I’ll be fine.”

Mu looked at him, confused.

“How often do they come here?”

He stopped his frantic flying to answer her question.

“Well, normally it’s five years you can go without renewing your license, but since this planet is a bit out of the way, there was a bill passed about 30 years ago that changed it to every seven years so their inspectors wouldn’t have to keep making the trip.”

“And they haven’t realized you’re dead yet?”

“Well, no!” He looked to the side, glancing briefly at the minions running errands around the building, “Normally what happens is I get a warm body roughly the height and weight I was when I was alive, use glamour magic and makeup to stop the bone structure from being an issue, and then wear it around the day they show up.”

“And you can’t do that again…why?”

He grumbled, crossing his arms.

“…Normally the search takes at least a month.”

Mu raised an eyebrow, as Snatcher turtled into his neck ruffle.

“….And I can’t use an old body because they’re headless and in the swamp by now…”

“This all sounds like bad planning on your part, you know.”

Snatcher let out a huff, flying down to sit on the table.

“Oh, yes, let’s hear all about poor planning from Miss “Kill all bad guys by throwing everyone in lava”…”

“I mean, it would have worked!”

“…Okay, I’m not going to dignify that with a real response because you have not once even so much as acknowledged the concept of due process.”

“Do-whatnow?”

“We’re getting off-track.”

Mu twirled her mustache in one finger as she tried to think of a plan that didn’t involve just beating up the ISLS inspector. 

Unfortunately, Snatcher couldn’t think of anything better than that at the moment either.

Eventually, she spoke up.

“So, er… Why did you kill your lookalikes, anyway?”

“Is that even a question? They weren’t of any use to me after they fulfilled their purpose. This is literally the thing I’m known for.”

“And why not?”

“…Confidential… information… or something.”

He was aware that was a bad excuse, but unfortunately it was the best thing he could come up with on the spot.

“Like what?”

“My name, for one. There’s a reason most people on this planet go by monikers.”

“Really? I’ve just been calling myself “Mustache Girl” because I didn’t want that old codger knowing what my parents named me.”

Snatcher made an uncomfortable face at that.

“…He’s literally younger than me, but sure, call him old…”

“My point is, I may have a solution if you give me the details of what you’d be looking for. I mean, even species would help, probably.”

“You know what? Sure. Nothing else is coming to mind and I’m probably screwed anyways, so sure! Let me just put my fate in the hands of this five-year-old.”

“I’m twelve!”

“Whatever!”

He vanished for a few moments and came back to the office with a portrait of a tanned, cleanshaven man with long brown hair wearing a bright red doublet with gold accents. Mu could still feel the unmelting ice cold on its pictureframe as Snatcher quickly passed it to her, suggesting it had been ripped from one of the buildings in the icy wasteland across the broken bridge.

“This is what we’re going for, although I think it goes without saying that you cannot and will not tell anyone that the man in that portrait used to be me.”

“If it goes without saying then why did you-“

“IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING! Do you have a sacrifice or not?!”

Mu crossed her arms.

“I might, if you promise me something.”

“Oh, now you’re deciding to pull that. Just great. More promises,” he grumbled, “Make the ghost get out his typewriter again, realllll considerate… What is it?”

Mu spoke as he began drafting a contract.
“If I tell you who I have in mind, you have to promise to not kill or discard him, directly or indirectly, after you’re done using his appearance.”

“...How dare you not leave me any room for loopholes,” he said to her, squinting as much as his ghostly appearance would let him. “Fine, that works, although I’m going to get my minions to make an effigy of him so I can get the satisfaction of ripping something’s head off after I’m done. Who’s the fool you’re thinking of?”

“Thor Thorson. You’ve already met.”

“Oh!” Snatcher said, remembering his face. “Oh…” He said again, remembering his mustache and timid demeanour. “...Are you sure he’d be willing to sacrifice himself like that? Possessions go much smoother if the target isn’t kicking and screaming the whole time.”

Mu mused to herself for a moment before speaking again.

“I could probably get him to do it willingly if I say that I want him to… And if he can read an actual contract about it first.”

Snatcher rolled his eyes.

“Oh, joy, another person on this planet that has to read over my work 20 times before actually proceeding with the signature. I mean, I’ll do it, since I literally can’t possess him without a contract, but just know that that sort of person makes my job so much more annoying.”

“I’ll let him know when I get home,” Mu said, before Snatcher cut into her train of thought.

“Oh, and tell him to chop off that mustache before I get there- I can’t stand the texture of facial hair. You’re dismissed for the day.”

Mu made her way back to the train station, and hopped aboard, flashing Conductor her ticket before leaning on the caboose’s railing.

“...You’re old, right?”

“...Well, that’s a peckin’ way to start a conversation, lass. Why d’yeh want to know?”

Conductor signaled the engine to start moving again, and put the cigarette he was planning to smoke back in the pocket of his coat.

“The inspector from the… ILLS? Is coming soon, and I wanted to know if you knew what to expect when they show up.”

“Ah, that peckneck. The ISLS sends an inspector here every buncha years to poke around and make sure the paperwork’s in order. They’ve taken the train a few times… and when they’re around it’s the only time the Snatcher acts, well… yeh know, like a normal peckin’ person.”

“Why?”

Mu put her hood up as the sun set to protect from the cold the darkness brought to the desert.

“Simply put, lass, they’ve got power over him. They revoke his law licence, and… well, what would be left of him then? We’ve all got our main things- Mine’s me train and movies, yours is… justice, I guess, and his is those peckin’ contracts. I’ve known the lad fer about 85 years- not personally, mind- and that was all he talked about, even when he was alive.”

Her eyes widened as she stared at Conductor with such intensity that it almost burned.

“You knew him when he was ALIVE?!?!?! How old are you?!?!”

Conductor responded to that with a small chuckle.

“Younger than him, older than you, and about the same age as DJ Peckneck. That’s all yeh need to know.”

Mu stood there, flabbergasted, for a second or two, before asking a follow up question.

“...Was he always this… self-centered?”

“From what I can tell, pretty much. The only person who loved him more than he loved himself was the peckneck who froze everyone,” Conductor answered with a non-committal shrug. 

“...Who?”

“Who d’yeh think-” The bird started, before pausing and taking a good look at Mu, “Ah, nevermind, she was far before yer time- I wouldnae expect yeh to know about some dusty ol’ queen, especially if yeh havenae been to school in a while. She was…” He paused in thought for a moment. “...She was a peckneck, really. Made life for me grandad difficult with her stupid peckin’ trade restrictions.”

“Is that why he kills people?”

“Who’s to say? I cannae tell yeh what’s goin’ on in the noggins of other people, same as I cannae tell yeh what’s goin’ on in yours. Best we can do is treat people like we want ta be treated, yeah?”

“…Don’t you yell at the owls all the time?”

Conductor chuckled, before giving the top of her hood a light ruffle.

“Do as I say and not as I do, yeh cheeky peckneck.”

“Okay!”

Mu scampered off to her seat inside the train.

By the time she got back to Calcite City, the sky was dark.

Luckily, the Mafia had decided not to bother her after what had happened between her and the Boss the other day, so she was able to get to the observatory with relative ease. Thor seemed to be waiting for her, even going so far as to open the door at her approach.

“Good evenin’, miss.”

“Evening, Thor!”

She ran into the observatory’s glowing interior and watched the darkness slip away through the closing door.

“Now how was your day? Enjoy the train ride home?”

Mu nodded.

“Good to hear it! It’s been a while and a half since I last rode that thing- My pops and his grandpops used to be buddies back when that thing was still doin’ science.”

“It did science? Where would they have room for that?”

“Well, it was way before your time, and before it got remodelled for the movies. It pained him to do it, but after what happened- well, I really can’t blame him.”

“…What happened?”

“Well, he lost his family in the same way I lost mine. As a matter of fact, my pops was try’na find him near the end… But all communication stopped when he got too close to her house…”

Thor shuddered, and the gears in Mu’s brain started turning.

“Is that the… cold place in Subcon? Past the broken bridge?”

The look on Thor’s face turned deathly serious.

“Mu, you’d best not be tellin’ me you’ve been there.”

“I haven’t! I swear!” She flailed her arms slightly, trying to quell his well-meaning concern, “I’m actually not even allowed to go over there- I just had a talk with Conductor about what happened there earlier tonight.”

“Really..?” Thor sat down, stroking his mustache in much the same way that Mu had been earlier. “He doesn’t normally do that. What’d he say?”

“The queen is apparently dusty, a peckneck, and had annoying trade restrictions.”

”Yeeeeep, sounds about right. Not that I’d know, o’ course- that happened a bit too far before I was born, but from what my pops said… yeesh.”

Mu was silent for a moment, before looking up at Thor.

“…What happened over there? People say it was something bad, but… I can’t figure out what type of something bad it was.”

Thor’s face paled for a moment, before he tried his best to reassure her with a smile.

“You just worry about that when you’re older, yeah? The story’s a bit… dark for someone your age.”

Mu frowned.

“Why does everyone have to treat me like a kid, anyway?! I’m almost a teenager, that’s practically an adult, I have a job and I fend for myself and still somehow everyone treats me like I don’t know what I’m doing!”

That cheered Thor up from the talk about Subcon.

“…All these years and you still take after your dad. He was just like that when he was your age, you know. Always wantin’ people to take him more seriously.”

He opened his desk to a photo album which contained a few photos of himself, and two people who looked nothing like Mu- but still, were undoubtedly her parents, and let Mu look at it. She’d seen the scrapbook countless times before, but the past few years had been too painful for her to be able to look at it without crying… which, unfortunately was still true despite Thor’s best efforts, but he knew how much the photos meant to her so he let her look anyway.

“…How’d he manage it?”

Thor looked at her with eyes like the stormy sea, and told her the truth plainly.

“…He grew up. Simple as that.”

A few more moments passed as she flipped through the pages, but eventually she gave him the book back.

“So… er. There was a reason I came here, other than just to reminisce.”

“Oh? Then don’t leave me in suspense. What is it?”

“…I need a favour.”

“Oh? And what favour would that be?”

“This scary inspector guy is coming to the planet in a week, and… well… they don’t know the Snatcher’s dead. He needs a living body to possess, and he can’t find one, sooo….” 

Thor’s face dropped.

“MADELYN ULYSSA SOUTACHE, WHAT IN THE RISIN’ HORROR ARE YOU THINKIN’?!”

“He promised he wouldn’t kill you! It’s just for one day!”

“IT OUGHTA BE-“ Thor took a deep breath before standing up, “Mu. Mu-Mu. Mu-Mu-Maddie. If he roped you into this, I swear I’ll tear that heck-neck a brand new-“

“Thor, it was my idea.”

Thor’s ears looked like they were about to start steaming as he turned around to take another deep breath.

“Of course it was.”

“Look, Thor, if you just cooperated this once it would mean a lot.”

He looked back at her pleading eyes.

“…Fine. But only because you asked me to. And I’m readin’ that contract cover-to-cover to make sure there’s nothin’ fishy about it. Plain language!”

“Oh, and there’s one more thing-“ Mu raised a sheepish finger. “…He wants you to shave for the disguise.”

“You know what? Sure. Just give me a second,” Thor said, acceptance seeming to wash over him like a tidal wave.

Until, of course, he stepped outside and screamed.

The next morning, Mu saw Thor clean-shaven for the first time. He looked completely dejected, and his shirt was left half-unbuttoned.
“You look… off,” she started.

“Well gee, thanks, I haven’t looked in a mirror all morning so I couldn’ta caught that myself,” he replied sarcastically.

“I’ve never seen you look so… young, is all…”

“...You think I look old?”

The two didn’t have much time to think on that before Snatcher and his entourage of minions showed up at the doorstep of Thor’s observatory. Snatcher didn’t waste any time, phasing through the door to greet them instead of knocking.

“...Well howdy,” said Thor, not too amused at Snatcher just barging into his place.

Instead of greeting Thor like a normal person, Snatcher just grabbed the lower half of his face with a cold, ghostly hand.
“You really need to invest in a skincare routine. Your skin feels like it’s seconds away from falling off of your face, but… I suppose it’s workable for now. MINIONS! FETCH ME SOME HAIR GEL AND FACIAL SALVES!”

…The entourage was silent, with only one voice calling back from outside the observatory.

“...what?”

After waiting a moment to realize his mistake, Snatcher opened the door to yell at them again.

“HAIR GEL AND FACIAL SALVES!!! NOW!!!”

 This time the minions actually got to work, scattering like a horde of rats caught in a gourmet kitchen. 

“...What, straight to business? No “How’s your day been?” or “Some weather we’re having?”” muttered Thor.

Snatcher looked him up and down. 

“Look, you clearly haven’t dealt with many lawyers before considering you’re only half-dressed for a business meeting, but we generally bill by the hour. It’s in my best interest to keep things short and sweet. Like you!”

“I-, I’m not short…”

“Oh, speaking of which,” Snatcher turned to call out to his minions again, “WE NEED HEELED BOOTS! NO LESS THAN FIVE INCHES!”

“This is just- you’re going a little too fast for me to keep up. Ain’t there somethin’ I hafta sign?”

“Now who’s going straight to business? I thought you would’ve been more scared.”

“Terrified, actually,” Thor fidgeted with the ends of his sleeves, “But I reckon that if we do this sooner rather than later it’ll also be done and over sooner rather than later.”

“Can you summon the thing already? I’d like to read over it as well,” Mu piped up.

“Sure, pipsqueak,” Snatcher rolled his eyes slightly, “Seen as you’re my apprentice, I suppose I can let you read a contract you’re not privy to… So long as you make it quick and you don’t make a habit out of doing it.”

He summoned the scroll before handing it over to Mu, who gave it a thorough skim, and then to Thor, who gave each page as much weight as a kettlebell. 

Mu was silent for a moment, before speaking up.

“...I’m not privy to this contract.”

“What an astute observation, repeating something I already said. Good going,” started Snatcher, before Mu continued.

“...I still think I need a stake in it before Thor’s out of commission, though. I want a lien.”

That gave Snatcher pause.

“You what.”

“I want, a lien. You’re only here because I told you you could be, and I want to make sure you’re not going to flake on me by killing him at the last minute. A lien would make sure that I retain enough stake in his body that you can’t discard him without owing me something.”

“Where did you learn that? I haven’t taught you anything about contract law yet. Your only assignments have been in the corporate sector.”

Mu shrugged.

“You had a lot of books that you weren’t reading, so I looked at their covers and found them on the train!”

Snatcher would have looked absolutely dumbfounded by this if it weren’t for his face lacking detail.

“...So, let me get this correct. You read. Law books. For fun. Without being assigned them for homework.”

Mu nodded.

“Well yes, isn’t that the reason you have them?”

“.....Dear Council you're almost as insane as me. I’m going to grant you that lien as a reward for that, okay? I wouldn’t want you getting burnt out any time soon.”

“Okay.”

Thor looked between the two of them, confused.

“…Am I a house???”

“Legally speaking, pretty much. Real estate law and soul law are actually pretty similar, aside from soul law not needing a million searches before a soul can be sold,” replied the Snatcher as he jotted something down in the text of the contract, “Okay, that’s sorted. I’ll need both of you to initial a second time, and I’ll… Summon a second, smaller stamp, I guess.”

“Why don’t you initial things?” asked Mu.

“…Don’t ask me that question. It’s not important.”

Mu backed off, but kept the question in her back pocket for later.

The two signed, and Snatcher stamped the paper.

“Okay, well, since that’s sorted, I guess we can… get started. It’s been a while since I last did this.”

Thor just stared at him wide-eyed with furrowed eyebrows, his hair standing on end in nervous anticipation.

“Stop that,” said Snatcher, “You’re raising your guard and that’s going to make it harder for me to possess you.”

“Then what should I do?” asked Thor.

“Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and try to relax your muscles.”

Thor tried his best to do so, and all of a sudden Snatcher looked like he had disappeared.

Mu stared at the man in front of her for a good few minutes, as he watched his breath hitch and fall in and out of sync with itself, and his limbs twitch like a robot being piloted by someone who wasn’t familiar with computers.

After what felt like ages to a 12-year-old, the eyes opened on Thor’s body, revealing piercing yellow overlapping with Thor’s steely blue. The body stretched, before messing with its hair, making the wavy curls atop Thor’s head just that more evident.

“Ugh,” said Thor and Snatcher’s voices together, with Snatcher’s being the louder of the two, “…That never gets easier.”

After fiddling with his appearance a little bit more (manually rolling his shoulders, adjusting his posture and so on), he noticed Mu looking at him funny.

“What is it, kid? Never seen a possession before?”

“...Yes. Quite literally, yes. Is he… aware of all this?”

“Have you ever gone swimming before? Or been dreaming for a while? The experience is much like that. He’ll know everything that’s happened, but it will just be… distant. Separated, from everything else.”

Some of the minions returned with various jars and vials, and Snatcher set to work modifying Thor’s appearance to look slightly more like the picture.

“This is why I hate having short hair…” he grumbled, gaze fixed on his picture in the mirror, “...I never quite know what to do with it.”

After gelling his hair to what he deemed a satisfactory swoop, he then set to changing Thor’s clothes into something he deemed more acceptable, using the same spell he used on Mu’s robes a few days before. After going through a few options, he eventually settled on a suit and tails with a black shirt underneath, and gold accents. His coat was a brilliant purple colour, with subtle design motifs that incorporated the Subcon Thistle into a few different places on the fabric and goldwork, most notably of which a brooch that kept a lacy black cravat pinned in place.

He observed himself in the mirror for a few moments, before suddenly recoiling.

Thor’s eyes briefly returned to their regular blue.

“What the heck are we wearin’?! It’s not a cotdang soiree, it’s a business meetin’! Plus, how do you breathe in this sort of thing?!”

The yellow in Thor’s eyes returned, glowing as brightly as a lantern at first.

“I don’t. And for your information, I can wear whatever the heck I want while I’m in your body, so shut up and deal with it. It’s a strategic move- If I dazzle the inspector with my brilliant fashion choices, they won’t need to look so closely at my face.”

“I thought he was unconscious!” exclaimed Mu.

“Well, he isn’t, exactly. If I do something he really doesn’t agree with, he can fight back and try to push me out. It’s not exactly a comfortable experience…”

“Has that ever happened to you before?”

“No, and I hope it never does. I’ve seen it happen a few times when a Dweller’s tried to latch onto the body of a mortal and failed… If it goes really wrong it can seriously damage the spirit.”

Mu winced, as a few more minions brought in a pair of heeled boots that Snatcher promptly stepped into.

“Now that’s more like it!” 

He took a few practice steps before exiting the observatory, motioning for Mu and the rest of his minions to follow.

“Come along, Mu-Mu. We’ve got a very important meeting to get to.”

Mu stood there for a moment, before following along as asked.

How did he know Thor’s nickname for her…?